lets talk about cute boys and hot men
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...And a great rapper!
Decided to go for it because I wouldn't be able to actually be comfortable in a romantic setting without it. My genital dysphoria only kicked into high gear when I was getting intimate with a partner and there was a strong mismatch between what my brain said I should be doing, and what my anatomy permitted me to do.
>tfw mere months away from living with yume and gem
I talked to her a lot through the past few months as well.She didn't even seem to be the main culprit or anything like that she was just really sad about everything and felt she needed more answers or clarification on things. She and Elf were both upset at the same anons.
nth for finally got on some hrt this week!
(just spiro but still)
>wanna date guys but straight guys don't want trannies
>grindr has a lot of bi guys
>mention I'm looking for bi guys, and whites only
>spend the day ignoring blacks and latinos who message me cause they can't read
>occasionally a white guy will message me
>mention the primary
>"oh yeh I'm glad sanders won, I'm a socialist and it's good to see my ideology finally getting some representation in the world"
>proceed to BTFO every point
>turns out the guy was from sweden/germany
>tfw he was already cucked from the start
why are good men so hard to find
Murrica needs idealists regardless if they're left/right, too much of the same old shit over and over. People like Bernie Sanders gives me some hope for the U.S even if he's semi-derp like Ron Paul.
//cucked politically active socialist swefag
well no but it was a blur and i'm fairly passive so like it happened without me actually... doing much to stop it.
not that i care given the 2 main anti-vax arguments seem to be it makes you autistic and it makes you sterile, and i'm already one and might as well be the other.
i was harvesting willow with brand new secateurs and being clumsy i managed to slice my thumb open so i had to go get it patched up, and she looked at my records and noticed i was behind on the tetanus jab so she was like "let's give you another one" and before i could answer she'd already pulled it out of nowhere so i just lifted my sleeve up and complied.
ur a shit
>tfw I mentioned how bernie is globalist
>faggot said he was isolationist
>mom was over
>she was calling me sir and mister
>go to take a shower and there's nothing in it
>no rose soap, no nice shampoo, no pink razor
>flip the fuck out
>rip apart my entire trash can
>find birch boxes, a pretty princess gag game, hrt bottles that had been emptied, boxes for my injectables missing the vials
I'm just sitting on the bathroom floor crying and trying to cope rn
As an American, my only advice can be sue. jkjk
Oh I see, yeah I'm the same way. Hope it wasn't too bad though. I don't buy into those antivax things myself though.
Sorry to hear about your thumb though gosh that sounds rough, glad you're okay though!
I talked to her a lot about things at the time, it was independent decisions that were just odd timing. It wasn't that so much.
neens be my friend and convince me I should send you a hand written letter about how much life sucks and what to do about it.
Music time, /mtfg/
Okay! You should write me a letter about how much life sucks and how much better it'd be if you moved in with us and let me feed you prosciutto and chicken florentine and biscuits and gravy and homemade Mongolian pork.
Well I am officially fully covered with Medi Cal health insurance. I made an appointment with a therapist and I am going to ask my doctor to approve me for srs. I have been reading stuff all about the coverage so I might be able to get it by this fall hopefully if i lie though my teeth. So far its put down on paper that I have been fulltime for a year already.
>like this hot guy from work
>we've been on two dates and made out
>finally muster up the guts to come out to him
>it's already too late but better now than never
>mfw this is his response
that sound tempting, but tejas isn't my type of state.
Maybe Friday I might send you a letter though if I have the energy to do shit. I think I still have your address. Maybe a four or five page letter will be cool?
cool story kayla, I know you are lying through your fucking teeth about all this shit though.
no no i died
my roomate brought food home when she got off work this morning and she got home right when i was getting ready for work so i had food and took a half day at work and im about to go get more food and i'll be good
>cool story kayla, I know you are lying through your fucking teeth about all this shit though.
Not at all, I am sick of getting shit on by you whenever I try to be positive, its the truth regardless what you want to believe. My appointment with my doctor is on the 17 so if you want to see and hear my conversation with the doctor about srs then by all means join me.
I'm going to work out the name change stuff there too on the 17th. They have an actual trans resource team that handles that stuff. Like I said they moved the facility and the entire place is for trans people. I can show her business card if that will appease you?
The wedding is next month, she just doesn't know about it yet.
Northerners seem a bit ignorant of the shotgun marriage tradition
>cousin getting married end of june
>mum getting (re-)married beginning of july
i'm going to be a mess.
i won't be able to wear anything that actually looks good on me. i'll be too girly for my kilt jackets but too manly to wear a dress.
i tried the skit where i explained that because my mum has completely disregarded the sanctity of marriage by marrying for the third time in her life, i'm not going to turn up :^)
actually no the reason i gave is that she has short hair and i want her to grow her hair out and if she doesn't when the vicar says "speak now or forever hold your peace" i was threatening to stand up and deny that my mum was the woman her fiance proposed to.
basically i was making up as much shit as i could to test the waters to see if i could just not attend but they were like, i have to be there cause i have to be an usher.
... an usher.
fuck me this is going to be so humiliating.
>tfw Kayla could get SRS for free but you'll have to work your ass off for it
Life just isn't fair :/
I AM NOT A KIKE AND I AM MILDLY MEXICAN
But that is a shame if you don't believe me considering all the tall tales Kayla tells.
I went to a new therapist who said st.johns is where poor and street working trannies go for their doctors. That fucking therapist cost me a shit load, but she wrote me a letter for srs.
180 a fucking hour .....
fuck my life
okay, but I should be coding
I'm in desperate need of a bf that looks like young Solid Snake to CQC me into submission (in bed) and whisper gun shit into my ear
biggu bossu/venom is acceptable
It's not so much hate, it's frustration. She has a habit of embellishing or outright lying about things and refusing to take advice she gets when she does ask for it. Also likes to attack people for being 'beneath' her if she feels that to be true.
Knoxville :) miss you
If you are getting srs, good for you Kayla, even if I'm a bit jealous. There's a girl at the Kroger i go to who likes me named Kayla, reminds me of you whenever i see her :)
I have an appointment in a week to get my hrt refilled, check my levels, fill out name and gender change paperwork, and ask about getting srs. What else do you want me to say? You girls tell me I don't do enough to move forward and I try my best to do that with what limited funds I got.
I am just as poor as you are. I can't find a job to save my life.
Oh, you need to live full time for over a year and now change your name ...
good luck with that.
Like what tall tales? I literally tell the truth lol ...
picture is proof I have been to portland if you don't believe me.
yeah i am going to apply for more jobs in a few. I am going to ask my cousin to see if I can get a job in phoenix tomorrow.
Did anyone pass at your doctors when we went? I don't remember seeing any.
i was raised catholic.
They're going ok, got a bf, and some ppl chasing me which is flattering, got some boobs, and a job with insurance, a script for hormones, and a kigurumi. It's going p well. I have strep throat though
>friend gets mad when I tell him that I cried myself to sleep last night
I just want to be not alone
>I just want to be not alone
I can't hug you when you're alone. I'm really sorry to hear that though, I know what it's like to have people get frustrated with you for being depressed.
>Did anyone pass at your doctors when we went? I don't remember seeing any.
nope, they all looked pretty terrible
>Oh, you need to live full time for over a year and now change your name ...good luck with that.
They have it as record I have been living full time, last times I went I was in girl mode, I am in girl mode at home, I never leave my house usually. Who is to say I am not full time as it is?
All great things except for the strep throat but can't have everything work out amazing like that. Jelly on the boobs and bf though mine are finally kinda filling out or something, I juust need to leave skeletor status probably but was sick recently myself and had a hard time eating enough. As for bf idk if I'm just nervous or picky or what idk. Keep convincing myself something thats going on is creepy and back away before it gets to that point.
Yepyep, no problem! I fell for it a few times and ended up with great quotes like the image attached.
>They have it as record I have been living full time, last times I went I was in girl mode, I am in girl mode at home, I never leave my house usually. Who is to say I am not full time as it is?
Your name not being changed nor your id. If you look at most domestic doctors that do srs you will find they want to know the date you changed your name.
Does this look like the face of a kike? What proof do you offer that I am a jewess?
If kayla does in fact go full time and gets srs scheduled I will be so proud of her
>Your name not being changed nor your id. If you look at most domestic doctors that do srs you will find they want to know the date you changed your name.
then I will bitch and moan and hire my mothers attorney
You encourage degeneracy with your LORDLY actions
If it makes you feel any better (it won't but it's still good to know), he's right. He's not equipped to have your baggage dumped on him, and you should talk to a professional. It's not that he doesn't care, it's that it hurts him to see you like this and it makes him feel terrible that he can't do anything about it. I've been on both ends of this, I know it really hurts.
You want him to hold you right now, and listen the endless waves of feelings you have. But he's a person too, and it's just not possible. You should tell him straight. Make a goal to yourself to see a professional, schedule and appointment and then call him or meet him. No text. Tell him you're going to a professional and you want to get better, and tell him that you need him with you for that to happen. Look him in the eyes and tell him you love him.
I'm sorry i and people like me give you so much crap
it's impressive you all have the willpower to face all this, i'm jealous. In future rest assured you'll get the last laugh when it catches up to me and people like me and we end up depressed and nobody wants to help.
good luck trannies
snitches get stitches. as much as i might dislike how kayla conducts herself, being a grass makes me immediately want to stab you repeatedly and dump you in the canal with a couple of breeze blocks tied to your feet.
>I'm not in a position to make that phone call tonight
Not tonight, relax and sleep tonight. Tomorrow find a local therapist and schedule an appointment. Then take a deep breath and call him.
I'm not going to transition, but thanks.
Just decided a while ago I can't do it. Still haven't changed my mind. Have been on HRT for a while though.
Thanks anyway anon, y-you too
Is it possible to ever be happy with your appearance without passing?
>Perfectly reasonable but I'll feel bad about it
I have a feeling right now he wants you to get better more than he does an apology. If you say sorry and then go right back to being miserable, it's worth nothing. Make an effort to get help and show him that you're trying.
I pushed away all my friends in highschool with my depression, friends I was so close with that I know I could have gotten so much support from if I told them I was trans. But I bottled it up and pushed them away. Now I have noone, don't let the same thing happen with your friend.
I have crippling trust issues and have never been able to open up to a therapist
I've seen probably a dozen and said a lot, but almost nothing that wasn't already on the table
I didn't even "come out" to my therapist
I didn't have one when I came out to my parents and found one specifically for gender issues
The only reason I can speak freely here is because none of you know who I am
Even if I said that I never meant to make him worry and that I would go see my therapist asap, I think he'd be mad about it because I didn't have a real "need" to tell him
All I can do is act like I'm fine
Anything else and I hurt him, like this...
FINALLY GOING TO WATCH THE DANISH GIRL WITH MY MOM TOMORROW
Sigh. But she said if she's uncomfortable she's going to walk out. It's going to be fun.
Been on them for 7 months. I don't really experience dysphoria so much anymore, I like what I look like half of the time.
In the future, when i'm older, who knows. If I end up as depressed as i was I'll probably just spam drugs or save for extensive surgeries, but I don't think I could ever come out. I envy those of you who can though.
I don't know anon, I don't think they're fucked up, i mean mine does work it's just not as... active anymore, and it takes longer to get off.
the ghost in the shell movies are so fucking good jesus christ
>Even if I said that I never meant to make him worry and that I would go see my therapist asap, I think he'd be mad about it because I didn't have a real "need" to tell him
That's why you come clean, you need him don't you? Tell him you love him.
I'm not sure what the exact nature of your situation is...
as much as it could be bad for his well-being for you to be constantly dumping your problems on him you should be able to look to him for some support as well
Fear of judgement and awkwardness. I'm so self conscious about this shit it's not even funny anymore, just cant stop.
How do you grills choose which changing room to go in? ;_:
I pass some of the time, but I'm not sure if I pass enough to use the girl's changing rooms, but I don't particularly pass as a guy any more either.
>kayla suddenly goes silent
so what's actually happening?
Right? I want to BE the Major.
One day, anon, one day.
I don't want to reach that point. I'm scared of judgement because i want to be normal, and being normal would make me happy, having the integrity of my relationships with my friends and family without awkward feelings or even disgust is what makes me happy. I don't want anything to get worse.
Girls are cute, but we all need somebody to hug us from behind and make us feel safe.
I think I'd be okay with my dysphoria if it meant I could be the man who holds you close, makes you feel precious, and makes you realize everything is going to be okay.
Who gives a fuck about being normal if being normal isn't you? Plus, the goal here is just to become a normal girl. People aren't gonna judge me all the time for being the weird tranny. They'll just know me as a girl and not think anything of it. Because nobody thinks about me but that's beside the point.
I recall a younger me when having watched the GITS movies wishing that a future in which human cybernetics and artificial consciousness are real, but with what I believe now I can only say that whatever greater entity lies beyond is far greater than humans shall ever be able to comprehend, but I do not believe consciousness ends when the human body fails and deteriorates, because of that I don't believe I fear death, however that does not mean that I wish to die, merely I do not expect a vast nothingness when I die but something greater, what it is I do not know, and I'm sure I will never know, even when my consciousness does know it will quickly be lost. It's a calming and reassuring though.
I got a different receptionist each time I went, and the first few times they'd tell me where both are and I'd skittishly run off to the mens' room, but recently I've just been directed to the womens' room. I'm not in there long since I'm just using a locker so I don't feel too awkward
I'm never going to be a normal girl anon
It feels really weird even calling myself a girl, i really think I should just stay a boy
There were threats that anon would wait outside the clinic when she goes to get SRS. Dunno how serious or connected they were, but they did happen.
I seriously hope some faggot anon doesn't ruin shit, if Kayla really meant what she was saying today I'd be very proud of her.
anything said on 4chan is a stupid joke and sending things she posted here to her doctor is so out of line its not even funny, I bet the doctor will think its some kind of sick joke anyway
Why? What would this accomplish? Anything is better than nothing.
it's okay, you do you, we'll be here if you decide its time to be the girl you are
>tfw will always be the big spoon.
hiding behind an alias on an imageboard doesn't give you immunity from people getting fed up with you being a shit though. whether online or in person, you're supposed to be civil with people and she persistently ground peoples' gears despite all of the help and concern and advice and admonishment sent her way.
she literally invited them
>My appointment with my doctor is on the 17 so if you want to see and hear my conversation with the doctor about srs then by all means join me.
>I live around there and I've got nothing to do on the 17th but to wait outside the building waiting around for you to show up.
>you going to hurt me?
>I'd first like to have a word with you so it depends on how you react.
does that really constitute a threat of violence? maybe kayla is self aware enough to realise that every time she opens her mouth, someone wants to punch it, hard.
sheen please don't
we all care about you and we'd miss you here
i know people hate the it gets better bullshit but it always could for you, if this is what you're thinking it can only go up from here right?
I know, I suck. Just dont spend too long running from this, okay? If you know already there's no point in waiting until you hit rock bottom to do something.
>As much as I want a boyfriend I can't imagine having someone repress so I could have those things.
Mostly just silly thoughts, but I feel like you would make me happy. I'll just keep on my track of becoming a dyke and then become your strong gf instead.
i dunno, i know where you are coming from with suicidality, but just i dunno. i would really like it if you didn't. like when i first came here i just lurked, and i felt your posts, if that makes any sense. it was more so than others. I and, as proven by most of the replies, a lot of people here want you to stay. you pass right now. you are rad senpai. i dunno, just i think we would really prefer if you didn't, but if you do end going through with it, thanks. thanks for all your posts, sheen. even though i advocate for the right to die, i really don't want you to exercise that right.
I'm with you on this one - I'm going on the 25th.
It'll a nice day :)
>tfw I realize that I'm only transitioning because I have an insanely potent attraction to dyke women, but all the best ones are lesbians
I just want a strong gf who will hold me and make me feel special.
This is the morally sound choice and one that would make everyone the happiest. Godspeed anon, be the strong dyke that you were meant to be. There isn't a person in the world that's worth repressing who you are over, even if you think they'd make you happy, and you'd make them happy, you can't fight nature.
I don't know anon. I never knew, the HRT was just supposed to be a short term thing to help me figure it out and it was like as soon as i started i was just numb to it, it didn't matter anymore. Sometimes I got a little upset about it but it was manageable. I started to have days where I really liked how I looked, sometimes I've been really happy, because I've always had self image problems, but I can't sit down and lay all the cards out anon. Therapy didn't clear it up, HRT didn't clear it up, right now I'm betting everything I have on it being a phase, and just enjoying how the drugs make me feel.
All the worst ones are lesbians too, anon.
Who /bi-masterrace/ here
>tfw want a hot bf but also to cuddle with a qt girl
I have told him
I've told him again and again
Would it hurt him so much to say it back, even if he didn't mean it?
One day I hope he'll be able to look at me with compassion instead of fear
I'm already broken and there's barely anything to pick up, I'm simply not capable of committing suicide
>grocery store gave me a bocall cutter when they hired me
>tfw no polygamy where you can bff with the gf and have the bf make you feel safe
The ones that turn out right are so dreamy though. Oh my god I just want aaaaaaaah.
Forgot image fucking kill me
Today I'm feeling a little down and I'd rather just cuddle and maybe cry into somebody's chest as they pet my hair.
Something must be in the air today.
>a strong gf who will hold me and make me feel special
it's a good feel
my more recent photos are more thousand yard stare-y but they're also more manly i don't want to post them.
besides i wanted an excuse to post this again. i've just stared at this photo feeling sorry for myself and what that kid has endured over the years.
I cant wait to fuck u and make sara watch
>tfw shitty vision so I have to wear hipster glasses to be able to see near and far
>distance is +2
>reading is +3.75
>going between the two literally needs large lenses
fuck my life
There might be people that care about me, sure, but Id still be doing them a favor by removing myself from their lives. It would hurt at first, but in the end they'd be better off without me. In time they'd come to realize this, that the best thing I did for them was removing myself from existence.
no offense but upon seeing your eyes i instantly imagined a full body image of you pointing a gun at me
getting some intense vibes from tranny eyes here, like my primal instincts are picking up on some sense of impending mortal doom
thumbnail looks reptilian
you look like you have a hot face though
eh cool is debatable. I wish I had a nicer camera tho so I could show y'all my heterochromia cause rn my phone's cam is too shit to do colours properly and my webcam is just as bad
>tfw you fell for the moto gjew meme
To be fair, that's just the picture I had kicking around, and I was on amphetamines.
My eyes are normally less intense.
Why would a stranger disagreeing with me convince me otherwise?
Im just a drain on everyone around me, I don't contribute anything, I have no skills. Im sure if you got to know me as a person you'd be be encouraging me to end my life.
Im jealous of her because people like her, even though she's a creep who preys on the other trips here. What's weirder is you all seem to like it. I guess I just don't get it because Im a shit person and no one likes me.
I'm still waiting for someone to make an Ayyife version of that. At least Kayla can post OCCASIONALLY without insulting someone.
Remember the last time she was here and literally shit on everyone, including randoms and anons being nice to her?
"I'm friends with lots of trips like Elanna blah blah"
Jesus, fuck man.
does anyone here play warframe?
>I am sick of drama
I wanna cuddle you so bad
>I feel really depressed
>Lewd anon feels down
>Kayla isn't feeling good either
>Myna is having an awful day
>We may have actually lost Sheen
Can we just take a break from bullying and shit tonight? Bants are fun but sometimes we should probably just not.
cause you're just making yourself more unhappy? i'm sure there are people that care about you. Whether you know it or not. I'll put you in my prayers tonight, hope you can find some happiness coming your way.
I don't know how else to act anon I don't have a lot of experience with guys in terms of flirting, it's normally either I'm don't flirt with someone I'm not interested in, or I end up hooking up with some random guy at a bar
dating isn't for me, I'm too unstable for it lol
I think you're cool anon, kayla is a gigantic douchebag and >she deserves to be shat on. :3
>We may have actually lost Sheen
pls be true
It's pretty bad even without glasses, I have a mutant eye that does whatever it wants.
>tfw elanna doesnt even know what u look like
i wanna steal u from yume and gem whats ur skype babe
I just want the solace of knowing there's at least one person here who's more hated than me.
They might claim to care about me but no one ever helps me, or listens to me. No one pays attention to me, no one praises me, and if I needed help or shit got real I know all these supposed people claiming to be there for me would abandon me like they did before during transition.
There is no happiness, I used to escape through drugs but now that won't even work.
Im going to bed, hopefully your prayers come true, I don't wake up, and I can find something close to happiness in nonexistence.
It does bring some solace to know Im not the most hated person here.