Forbidden love edition
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Old Thread: >>5701195
>tfw you are finally starting to realise that you don't look like a guy anymore and you can see the girl in the mirror everyone else sees you as.
Actually cried tears of joy this morning
how do i transition into bilinda butcher?
I think that will happen to me the day what I see in the mirror is the woman I see myself as, not the one everyone else does...
I'm afraid I'll need plastic surgery for that, though. And I don't mean FFS.
tfw your tits are hurting massively, and it's been almost a year since they last felt like this.
My first day of work was wonderful. My coworkers are the sweetest. The owners are awesome. People were so kind.
I had so much happy anxiety I walked to the fancy grocery store and bought a bottle of Chardonnay and sad on the patio and drank the whole thing. Then walked home and passed out.
The people who work in the evenings are kids. The girl is in high school, and the guy is in his first year of college.
Just doll face angels. The owner didn't care about my ID. He looked at it, as I was nervously telling him I will get it changed. Meh whatever Olivia. That was it.
I have a real life. yay a totally real life.
You can't be a hon with a customer facing job right? Even though when I was walking home I noticed a person starring.
I will continue to improve.
I'm unlikely to have any money for ffs in the near future. I've also been told that a number of ffs surgeons probably wouldn't want to operate on me ;_;
I'm really really sick of seeing a boy in the mirror though. It doesn't matter what other people see, every time I need to use a mirror for an extended period is condensed dysphoria.
>Felt like i was dying
>leaked blood from my dick for days
Holy shit. My gf (also tranny) and I never get shit like this. While we can't take as much alcohol as we used to, and feel slightly hungover the next day every time, we still don't feel like dying or having blood leak from dicks and such horrid things.
We also rarely drink, so maybe that has something to do with it. A bottle of vodka split between us will make us both feel like death the next morning of course.
The main problem with ffs is... it doesn't wholly fix the insecurity. So if you get into it without a clear idea of what you want besides making the boy disappear, it's not a great start.
>I had two 4Loko's last night
Jesus Christ, no wonder you don't feel good.
That's almost like drinking two bottles of wine, except instead of wine it's the shittiest of shit tier hobo-drinks essentially. Why not get something a little less turbo?
i know what you mean but because my way of dealing with emotional stuff is to bottle it up and put on a brave face, you get to a point where the bottle is full and just break down. thats what it happening right now and it nearly made me quit my job yesterday
>I've also been told that a number of ffs surgeons probably wouldn't want to operate on me ;_;
thats incredibly unlikely. I mean, suporns assistant told me the same thing, but they will do anything as long as you have money, since they dont give a shit.
the rest is exactly what I feel ;-;
Why would they refuse to operate?
I used to feel like that about mirrors. Now I see a woman but she doesn't look like my self image. So, out of the frying pan and into the fire, i've traded gender dysphoria for BDD...
Can we force the government to make sure we all have woof bfs to tie the knot with?
Hello /mtfg/ I can no longer come here anymore so this will be my final post, I met alot of pretty cool people here and transitioning gave me a taste of what my life could really be I travelled further than I ever imagined possible and was part of things I never felt important enough to be in so thank you all for these memories and I will miss you all... Im just tired and I need to rest
Well, given how you look, you might well be right. I think the only FFS surgeons who would operate on me are Asian ones, and their work is definitely not in the direction I want my face to go.
So I'll probably just go to a plastic surgeon who doesn't think in FFS terms. Most of the work I want done is on my lower face so it shouldn't be an issue.
Being sick is the worst, flu symptoms, fever, lost my voice so all I can do is a strangled squeak, exhausted, fever dreams about being left behind on a coach trip while looking for a public restroom and suddenly my voice is unpassing and I'm lost and alone.
Dysphoria offset by effects of sixth laser session starting to be seen. Hit five months mones this week. Feel gross and sad.
Plus fucking terrified, I don't think I can self med from inhouse anymore, an order I made has gone missing and they're saying if it returns to them with unpaid customs charges on it, they won't deal with me anymore. I have an appointment with my Gp next week on hopefully getting a script and I'm terrified he'll be unhelpful. I /need/ it to go well, my estrogen runs out in April. The fear and pressure is getting to me and I need HRT or else I'll just die. Life is awful, I've spent all day crying, none of my friends ever want to see me these days. I'm pretty sure I'm depressed again. Life sucks.
Tell the GP you've been self-medding and that you want to have a followup of some sort. Make sure he understands that not giving you the bloodwork or the script will not make you stop.
That's what friends are for right? The people around you will understand if you share your feelings. Everyone has their struggles which is why they generally want to help others with theirs.
I hope by rest you don't mean what I think you mean. Please don't do it anon, you can still go further, even if it doesn't feel like it right now.
I'm still of the opinion I have things that I need to have fixed. I'm not sure where the delusion ends and where the reality begins though. Maybe you're making the right approach though, maybe it's not an ffs thing, maybe it's a bdd thing and I need to look at normal plastic surgery.
I told him back in September. I was meant to have him check my liver function every few months but I've been busy with name changes, full time, working two jobs, surgery and recovery etc. He can't check hormone levels so I'm gonna ask for him to either contact a local endo or refer me to one, and start prescribing me stuff because I need it done at this point. I've been on a waiting list for a clinic for the same time I've been self medding and I've heard nothing so far. It feels like everything is against me and all the NHS policy documents to say he really should do this won't help.
I had an internet problem a while back and got bored and looked through the stuff Ive saved on my hard drive
does anyone remember pic related?
did we ever find out if this was a hoax or if this really exists/existed?
since barely anyone from here actually offed themselves, does that mean they now bet on who fucks whom and who gets which surgery?
Not really. I started posting in threads that hate on hons cause I thought they were talking about me. I might have posted one time in a passing thread.
I think I am doing great for 41 and just starting month 9 of hrt.
>Where are the other almost normal old transitioners? I can't be the only one
People your age who are mentally stable and have successful lives don't normally need to post selfies on the internet with people 20 years their junior for validation.
I know a few. They also tend not to fit in well with the weirder older transitioners so it's probably a good thing.
I figure if it exists they're still hoping someone does it. There's a few suicidal girls anyway.
I wouldn't be surprised if some idiot really believed the lifetime suicide attempt = suicide rate unironically enough to do this, but maybe not as a group.
Why not? I know plenty of bitches that post too many selfies all day every day on facebook. I think my friends are just as sad as me.
This is the most normal site for trans I could find. People my age creep me out.
>I wouldn't be surprised if some idiot really believed the lifetime suicide attempt = suicide rate unironically enough to do this,
yeah the actual ratio is like wayyy less than 1%. I dont know anyone who did it.
oh god I am so sorry
you seem cool. I bet youre fun to be around irl.
can you bake?
>really want srs
>painfully so, feel like I can't wait till I get through this wait list
>searching around for some info
>find a video of the procedure
why can't I just have a vagina without needing surgery ;~;
>you seem cool. I bet youre fun to be around irl.
can you bake?
Thank you. Yes I am super fun to be around unless I am in a boo hoo anxiety attack, but when I am happy I am awesome.
Yes I can bake. I am a really good cook all around.
I am certainly shit with computers, but not my whole generation. My old college roomate was some sort of computer super genius. He could do stuff that was like tv. He got arrested by the FBI when he was 16 for hacking the phone company. Now he works for a data collection company and I think secretly for the NSA.
I thought hon just meant late transitioner. I didn't know what it really meant. Also, I get it. I have met enough in real life to think. Yuck something is off about them.
I am very blessed to have pulled this off it appears. People are nice to me and I have a job. So that is transition success. I think many older transitioners could if they learned how to actually fulfill the role and not be a caricature.
>Where are the other almost normal old transitioners? I can't be the only one
There isnt many because testosterone eventually fucks up your face over that many years. But you ended up very lucky.
Hoky shit what if i make fuck what if i make fuck all over the floor
Hes already seen my panda links. He knows im a degenerate. He hates cuckong and wont let me ntr him. Holy shit, me, a neet ladyboy, will make fuck?
What does kohai even mean? Is that like senpai?
I should be writing my scooby doo script but instead I'm reading shoujo
my friend left a message that sounds like she was raped last night, and I fell asleep and didn't get it, and now I feel sick, and I can't talk to anyone really about it or trip because people might figure it out, this is ducking horrible and I hope she's ok
But I have like $0.75 right now. I gotta respond to job emails when I get discharged. .-.
Also, I mean I might be looking at more too..
Here's a (f)artist's interpretation of my profile desu.
He seems like he would be pretty cool desu. Berkeley jazz kids seem like they would be patrician as fuck.
But even after hrt I look more male than most men.
Omg I'll know in two days whether or not I got my dream job at one of the best companies
I'm freaking out :( There's no way things will work out for once, right?
>tfw literally impossible to pass because of male face and huge head
>As stupid and illogical as this is i feel the same way.
Obviously I don't really mean it but yeah, the bit of confirmation would make me feel worth something. You can tell how lonely I am if even the "affection" of a rapist would be comforting.
I really cant help the way i feel. I also have obvious mental issues with my past abuse. I want to date men, but I'm afraid of them because its the second most terrifying experience I've ever had. I'm afraid they'll rape me, but i want to be raped, because it'll prove my feminine worth. Shits stupid.
Reee normie get out
So anyone want to help femgen with their denial before they do something drastic and hurt themselves?
>wanting to be raped again
>empowering a rapist who will go on to do it to others
>compounding the problem
All so you can get off? Why don't you not create a criminal who thinks theyre entitled to get off whenever they want and just say you want a bf that will rape play with you.
>mfw people think I'm crazy when I say ugly people have it worse
Sloooow down. Its not like i was making plans and I have no intention of "creating a rapist". I just am admitting i have some problems and weird thoughts. If someone even tried rape play with me i would probably kill them.
>tfw started blockers in my final days in underageb&land
>tfw still hon
How to cope with losing the genetic lottery this much?
>If someone even tried rape play with me i would probably kill them.
that's all it takes? i've been asking people to kill me for fucking years.
pleb, come the fuck on. i am an embodiment of this feeling. you have potential. softly fuck you.
>everyone called me cute (I'm not)
>everyone called me cute (I'm not)
>everyone called me cute (I'm not)
do you have a reading disability, or a fucking mental impairment? don't reply to me, bruh.
yeah I started at 18 and still wish I'd started earlier
when I was younger people constantly thought I was a girl
I try to take solace in at least kinda passing as an ugly girl and realize there are even worse genetic fuck-ups I could be stuck with
do u know y?
have u tried seeing a doc?
I plan on killing myself before I hit 35.
So I have 2 1/2 years left on this miserable planet
What is your fucking problem dude?
Get a grip.
OK im pretty definitely sure she likes me now she just kissed my cheek randomly at work right before she went on break
>order a book off a 2nd hand book shop on sunday
>seller opened up the order on monday
>got no messages from him
>emailed him today that since he didn't contact me I would like to cancel the order due to time
>order a new book off a retailer instead just so I can get one in time
>three hours later I receive an email from the 2nd hand seller
>"book sent with standard mail, should arrive on Friday"
>haven't sent payment to him yet because he never contacted me before
what the fuck is wrong with people?
>Leave the pretty boys alone
Most of them have grown tits by this point. They're hardly boys anymore.
Saying they want to look like girls but don't want to be girls is an obvious excuse.
because women can't dress sexy?
I didn't start transition so I could wear blue jeans and tee shirts all fucking day
>Tfw sick as hell
>tfw never got sick before HRT
>tfw blood test tomorrow
>tfw work tomorrow
>tfw fever dreams about my ftm friend pretransition when he was a cute dyke and he can't stop smiling at me because I'm transitioning and I'm crying and idk why
>tfw will to live dripping away
where did caitlyn go wrong?
She looked good last year, but this year...she looks empty..as if she had too much face work,no?
I have no idea when I'm gonna do it desu. I'm probably gonna do something similar to yours though. I gotta do more research on it though. I'd rather not take any chances.
They are gonna do what they wanna do, relax senpai. They are adults.
Yeah. I just can't do it though thanks to manliness.
u'd be surprised how easy passing can be, people around here tend to put passing on a pedestal as a bigger thing than it is but there are plenty of cis girls with masculine features too
>they have working dicks
>you can walk around town with out getting looks
>most likely has a job or is in school
>has no triggers other then the one up his bumb
I'm just shiitpostin pham
I come to you with good news
being spitroasted is amazing tbhhhh ^/////^
>tfw no matter what I wear, I'll always look like a disgusting man
I really need to detrans
>its just an old lady dress
its this same fucking dress
I should face the facts I will never pass and just kill myself, I wanted to live though I did
Reminder that you're on your own and trying to make friends here is useless because everyone circle jerks the long time trips and despite encouragement from others to open up and try to connect the only reply you'll get is some vague bullshit like ''yeah dysphoria is the worst''.
I'm a long time trip and I only have like 2 friends here. No one else :/
Stop holding your family's wealth over everyone here
Stop being edgy for the sake of getting (You)s
Stop pretending like your life is somehow worse than everyone else's
Stop insulting everyone at every opportunity
Stop being a lying attention whore
Stop acting like you're the victim
Its true but let me tell you why....
people here are only nice to full time passing girls. If you don't pass like I don't pass then you either get ignored or shit on till they bully you to kill yourself or be alone and leave. These threads are poison these days. If your pretty you are idolized and if you are ugly then they call you a man and mock you.
None of that helps. I need to know how to do basic things like talk on the phone and cross streets without crippling anxiety. I need to learn how to not freeze up in an interview and learn how to make money. I need to learn how to live on my own as an adult but no one will teach me.
I dunno bro I think people are kind of nice here and I don't even pass.
You are cute and I love you, but damn that is an old lady dress. Having said that I almost like it, but no. That dress can only be pulled off by old ladies or really young hot girls who wear it ironically.
The model even fails in it IMO.
>y are you here?
I'm just a bored fag and a shit poster. I come here to read all the drama and if you don"t like me filter.
Today's weird. I'm still waiting for important mail, and having pregnant woman food cravings (I could probably go for capers or olives as the entirety of my lunch rn, it's a kinda gross feel)
Ho are you?
Waiting for mail is the worst cause it feels like you wanna check every 15 minutes sometimes. Food cravings though yeah sounds about normal, hah.
I'm doing well, really surprised how much change I am noticing after just one round of laser. Other than that just not really up to much, just playing some vidya in between a few job applications again.
>made a friend online who lived near me
>got a minimum wage job
>he and I moved in together to save costs
>saved enough to go to community college
>worked my butt off to get good grades and letters from instructors
>went to state school for biology
>started transition during undergrad
>graduated, got a $10 an hour lab tech job
>worked my way up
>managed to get enough attention to go back for phd
>currently working on that getting a research stipend
Interestingly putting effort into other things helped take my mind off trans issues. They're not crippling at all anymore. I feel like a normal human being
But, it is not because you don't pass. I don't get hate and I'm a yung hon senpaitachi.
>tfw long hair with bangs and boobs in man mode.
Im so awkward ;_;
I am an old lady. I shop at ann taylor. You need cis female or gay male friends. What stores do 20 somethings shop at? check their websites. There are tons of fashion blogs and vlogs.
watch stuff like this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A1Z5ES3ZIH4
Remember to dress to hide your flaws and accentuate your good points.
Sell your bike (get way less than what you think its worth) and then apply for jobs in other cities, anything you qualify for so i guess its your modeling on computers or something.
do a phone interview
get hired, then move
until you start to work at making changes in your life you should shut up
not GEM, a gem
Long hair with bangs, my man mode is perfect. ;_;
>own every blizzard game since wotlk
>didn't get into their overwatch beta
>super mad and complain a bunch
>random twitter follower gave me his account to play overwatch beta
i don't think people would do stuff like this for me if i wasn't cute
definitely worth though
Full time is hard. I don't get to be lazy anymore. Oh I don't feel like another day of razor burned face. Oh well. The time commitment is a PITA, but the consequence of people seeing me go back and forth would be worse. The people who I meet now would freak to see me in boy mode.
People just continually expect more from you the more you do. That is good and bad.
My friends let me get away with looking sloppy before, but now they are picky bitches. They notice a lot of stuff.
>tfw yume puts on your underwear and won't give it back
there are jobs everywhere kayla if you are willing to settle for something less than race car salesperson or lego. i know you have a lot of experience and it sucks being underemployed, but if you want to get out of your house you're gonna have to accept a shitty job at least for a little bit
When you woke up this morning everything you had was gone. By half past ten your head was going ding-dong. Ringing like a bell from your head down to your toes, like a voice telling you there was something you should know. Last night you were flying but today you’re so low - ain’t it times like these that make you wonder if you’ll ever know the meaning of things as they appear to the others; wives, mothers, fathers, sisters and brothers. Don’t you wish you didn’t function, wish you didn’t think beyond the next paycheck and the next little drink? Well you do so make up your mind to go on, ‘cos when you woke up this morning everything you had was gone.
This. Find anything at all, and go out and experience life on your own terms Kayla. It will make you mature, and you will find what is truly important much sooner than you would in your current milieu.
mmos are games for the lowest common denominator. they are fun, but don't think "progression" raiding is anything more than jumping rope.
ever since i put a picture of me wearing a seifuku as my steam avatar, people have been gifting me stuff.
the other day, someone literally gave me a $50 csgo skin for no real reason at all. someone else also paid for my resub to ffxiv so i would level with them.
feels good, especially since i can't really pay for my own games anymore.
>mtfs in western cartoons: petite, redheaded dandere qts who want to cuddle and snuggle and aren't drama-seeking psychopaths
>mtfs in eastern cartoons: sexually active bombshells who love making men happy and aren't drama-seeking psychopaths
>mtfs irl: drama-seeking psychopath uggos
I'm disappointed in you all. You need to work on your flaws and be the sexually/emotionally appealing alternative to cis scum gutter trash. How will you convince science to give you artificial wombs if you can't prove your worth to be the world's best waifus?
>tfw loyal but hyper sexual girl that can support herself, cleans, cooks like Martha Stewart, goes to barre and cooking classes, and likes to help people
Can I get my womb for impregnation pls?
Pshh I was in a top 10 world progression guild, that wasn't jumping rope, that was a brutal slog coupled with a full time job of grinding for the gold to pay for it all. Regular progression raiding after they need everything and hand out welfare epics is a completely different game
You have to go through a chaser screening of two to five years, depending on the county, to prove you have the dedication to be wombified. How can you say you want to devote your life to a man and raising his babies if you won't let him step on your nuts?
When did you raid?
Also, oh god the time commitment, that's why I ended up stopping finally. 6hrs/6days was too much. I realized that I was just starting it all over again when I got my alt shaman in Black Cell so just ghosted the character hah. Too bad it's changed so much since those days though it was fun.
How many people have you pressure into suicide so far?
>im too busy to call u
>im not too busy to make nonsensical shitposts like this
Hard core like that was black temple/sunwell/ all the pre raids I joined the military after and didn't have the time or ability to control my schedule. I once raided in the hospital on a morphone drip after an accident
theres like two people here I talk to offboard occasionaly. both are anons. its not like theres a HUGE tripparty somewhere (or if there is, I havent been invited).
I am fulltime and generally considered to be kind of passing sometimes. but its not like the people here get ladyboners for my skypeId or anything..
some anons I know literally get all the socialization.
>tfw a youtube poop represents your feelings after taking steps to deal with your trans issues terrifyingly well
>I am fulltime and generally considered to be kind of passing sometimes. but its not like the people here get ladyboners for my skypeId or anything..
thats only because you don't post a lot and no one knows what a qt u are
Oh hey right around the same time as me. Yeah I was in a similar boat, but only got to do BT/Hyjal really in that bleeding edge state. Was with Invictus on Archimonde for it but wasn't there for the Illidan kill, after 3 weeks of getting nowhere in the fight I had to start focusing on school finals that were coming up. (Of course, like 2 weeks later he was down). It was like w100ish but we had really fallen behind with how much we got stuck after getting ~50th archimonde. I was 'lucky' enough to get to experience Shahraz 1.0 up to 4% but we never got 1.0 down. So like, middle of the pack still in the terms of higher tier.
>going eastern route
Eastern route involves evolution into a proper futanari, you can't remove your dick it needs to get bigger and softer for all the sounding and cockplugs you'll have to endure.