My mum found my butt plug

>>5698250
What model/shape/size is it, this is CRUCIAL

>>5698276
This.

>>5698276
I aslo have a 5inch ones, but she found this one..

https://www.naughtyboy.com.au/anal-fantasy-collection-mini-silicone-plug

>>5698297
Kek ur fucked gayboi

>>5698297
do you also have a dog?

>>5698312
2 dogs, 2 cats.

Why is that relevant?

>>5698297
Just tell her to give it back, gayboi.

Maybe will feel awkward around her, but she doesn't give a shit.

She's your mom.

>>5698297
also how well can you throw an (american) football, spin and all?

>>5698250
Things like this happen and turn out to be fine.. I recommend you speak to your mom ask her if she found the toy and explain your side. you be shocked how many parents are ok with there children being gay or bi and shes right straight people use them too so honestly i would go speak to her be open and honest and go from there..

>>5698321
I live in Australia, and i do water sports.

>>5698318
its very relevant. the last piece of the plan is >>5698321

>>5698328
But i know my mum will tell everyone. I'll just have anxiety for weeks

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>>5698334
You have these in australia, yeah? Dogs love playing fetch with them, but with their foam constitution they get torn up and soaked with saliva. If only they were rubber... And remember, sometimes braindead stupid solutions work out every once in a while

>>5698367
how am i meant to get my dog to fetch it when i can't even find it.

Also my dog won't be able to find it in a closet.

>>5698367
Anon, you're scaring me.

>>5698250
Kill everyone who knows.
Remove all evidence.

>>5698386
>hey mum, you seen that rubber toy i bought for [dog]?
eventually she'll figure out you mean the buttplug. Either she'll give it back realizing you want to save your dignity and stay quiet about it, or she'll do it tactlessly and try to out you, or at least try to admit its a butt plug. Play the idiot convincingly and get off looking stupid, or finally come out. If the latter happens, play the victim for being outed

>>5698395
Well my mums probably told everyone and everyone knows and they'd all the laughing. It's over for me

>>5698411
ok, i will try that

>>5698418
here he is, a brave hero willing to risk it all in the reconquest of his stolen birthright. take his example, /lgbt/. and remember to tell us the results, it will make for quite a story

>>5698418
Then your mums a cunt desu

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>>5698442

>>5698496
uh oh

>>5698496
lol
I hope it works for you
my parents probably know but wont front me about it

>>5698496
i'm rooting for you harder than i've rooted for anyone ever

>>5698496
Yeah cause that's really going to fool her.

Just buy another one. Even if someone is okay with you being gay doesn't mean they're alright with dildos. Technically sex toys are still a social taboo. I've met quite a few people downright disgusted or terrified of dildos.

>>5698573
it doesnt have to fool her. it has to get him his butt plug back

>>5698496
HAS SHE REPLIED.

I'M ON THE EDGE OF MY SEAT, OP

>>5698573
I'm not trying to fool her. I know she'll but asking her for a butt plug sounds just as bad. Also, she hasn't replied yet

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>>5698496

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BAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

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>>5698766
I'm so embarrassed. Oh my God

>>5698766
now play fetch with them and the dog, i need to know if theyre effective

>>5698766
omg.
Your mum knows. She's just trying to save you embarassment

>>5698794

This. She's playing along.
She's just glad he thought of some way to deal with it without having the have a discussion on dildos.

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>>5698418
>my mums probably told everyone and everyone knows and they'd all the laughing. It's over for me

>>5698779
have you seen her eye to eye? I guess not

this is hilarious

>>5698804
Ok that's great.

The fact she knew they were mine, makes up that shes knows im a fag

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>>5698766

>>5698328
Can confirm. Gay girl (which, for all intents and purposes is the same), enjoys butt plugs.

>>5698418
It's probably just as embarrassing for her to say, "holy shit, I found this random butt plug in the bathroom the other day", unless she wants to use it.

>>5698328
>wanting OP to get kicked out of his home

>>5698297
That's what you get for being a filthy bottom

>>5698496
>>5698766
>>5698779
This is the best thread on /lgbt/ right now. Like old /b/ levels of quality. I'm dying right now.

>>5698766
>where

disgusting

>>5698779
You use those on your dog?! Disgusting

OP Has the convo progressed any further or did you leave it at that?

>>5699173
She's buying me sushi and coming home soon. I won't be able to look at her. I know her, she'll burt out laughing any second.

>>5699181
I keep mine locked away in a lockbox.

You never know, your mum might be so frigid that she's never seen one. If she knows what it is she's probably had one up her ass while your dad destroys her puss

>>5699195
Thank you for your contribution

>>5699195
GROSSGUSTING

>>5699223
>>5699230
Some parents are kinky.
If OPs mum wants to put a buttplug up her ass to heighten her sexual pleasure from his dad pounding away at her dripping pussy then that's her perogative. Who are we to judge

>>5699248
yep
local board has thread about anal and its an unending source of hilarity
>omg I found my moms dildo and used it myslef, will she notice?
is pretty normal kind of post

>>5698766
>>5698779
lmao what a life. O! to be young again

>tfw your mom finds your buttplug
>tfw you dont even like boys anymore
>tfw your parents are surprised when you have a gf

Is it not possible to be a complete bottom but not attracted to men at all?

>>5698250
>and i left the plug on the sink
you are fucking disgusting

>>5699705
happens
but you should try, women cant top like men

>>5699738
I was washing it with the toy cleaner. And for got about it

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>>5698496
>>5698766
>>5698779

Bump holy shit

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>>5698496
>>5698766
>>5698779

I'm laughing so hard I cant breathe!

This is why I 4chan.

Horrid bump but wow. Congrats lol.

>>5698766
>>5698779
I hope you realize the only way to avoid suspicion now is to occasionally toss toss your ass toy at the dog...

"Gee anon why do you keep his toys locked in your room where he can't get them... Your not cramming dog toys in your bum are ya m8?"

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>>5698784

She got home, and she hasn't said anything to me. I haven't looked at her or had a conversation with her yet, though usually she does have a conversation with me after she finishes work.

>>5698250
Holy fuck. It's became a family joke... I came out of the shower and mum said "don't leave your dog toys In the shower" my brother and mum giggled. Just fuck me up

>>5698297
>https://www.naughtyboy.com.au/anal-fantasy-collection-mini-silicone-plug

My wife got me one of those! and called me a faggot.

>>5701299
Bumping the fuck out of this unfortunate anon's story of hilarity

>>5701827
Ha, well, I Dont think you have to worry about coming out, really...
I mean, even if they Dont think you're a homo, nobody would be surprised at this point

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>>5701827
You should be grateful for such a fun family, there's nothing more warming than family banter

>>5698342
>But i know my mum will tell everyone. I'll just have anxiety for weeks
And we'll have a good laugh about it when you keep us posted. Right now you are already anxious and we aren't getting the full-lulz. :^)

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this thread im out of dank memes for it so you get this

>she hides it in a closet
It's like pottery.

this thread is 10/10.

anyway she knows OP. she isn't that stupid and from what your brother was told by her you know she knows what kind of object is that.

she is simply letting that slid off because she respects your privacy and accept that you might not want to tell her now that you are gay( or a straight person who use buttplugs :3).
she might also want to hide the fact from your father, if any.

Playing along with your bluff is the easiest way to settle the question. the only thing you can understand out of this is that she is not ultra-intollerant about you being gay ( read: she is not retarded).

this is an amazing thread OP

keep up the good work.

i chuckled

>>5701827

FUCKING LMAO

Holy fuck thank you, OP.
Thank you for this thread.

>>5698276
>>5698367
You're the hero of the day

>>5701911
This, im pretty jealous actually