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Best Man/Maid of Honor Toasts
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Hi LGBTanons, Straightanon here, in the spirit of inter-board ecumenism. Now it occurred to me that with Homo weddings becoming more and more available now, some of you may be put in a a new situation that the LGBT movement hasn't really considered much.

Giving the Best Man/Maid of Honor Toast.

Having given multiple of them myself, I'm here to share with you the format of the toast and some tips on the speech.

Now you might be thinking? Format? There is no set format. They are just supposed to speak from the heart about their best friend. Well your wrong and there is a format so follow it. You may also be thinking, sorry straightanon, fags have been wedding planners for decades we already know all about it. Choosing table settings, decoration scheme, flowers, venues, etc. is a lot different than the actual speech and if you haven't done it you might not get it. Now you may be saying, nuh uh, I totally get it. In that case just shut up because there are probably others who could be worried about it and need some guidance.

All that being said here is the format.

1. Introduce yourself in self-aggrandizing fashion, noting you are best man for which person.

2. Make fun of the person who named you best man.

3. Make fun of the person who named you best man.

4. Make fun of the person who is marrying the person who named you best man for liking and deciding to marry the person who named you best man.

5. Make fun of person who named you best man.

6. Make lovey-dovey comments about how person who named you best man really loves the person they are going to marry more than anything and you knew it because of the way they always talked about him, the way they looked at him, the way he would get all happy being near him or after being near him, blah blah blah.

7. Tell audience to grab their glasses or grab whatever they are drinking. (This is important you need to let them know the toast is about to happen.)

8. Give the Toast. Keep it simple.
One note about the making fun of people. Don't go all autistic out there. You are not picking a fight. The insults should be more of really embarrassing things the person has done in the past. Make them look stupid, ugly, incompetent, no fashion sense or whatever. But under no circumstances do you talk about past relationships. Stories are the best but you can do dumb one liners too. "I know my friend didn't chose the catering because there is a conspicuous absence of Taco Bell."

For the toast the go to is "When I look at the couple I know how much he loves her and she loves him. And I know how happy they will be together. To the Bride and Groom!" **Raise Glass** Insert appropriate nouns and pronouns for your situation.

Here are some common pitfalls to avoid. Never talk about your relationship with groom or bride. You may be thinking oh if I share how we have been close for so long and I describe how I know he's a good guy. No. The only relationship that matters on that night is the married couple.

Also, chances are you can go a little bluer in your insults than you imagine. Most people will have had at least a few drinks and almost everyone will be in a celebratory mood. But again as mentioned above no past relationships. Also, no mention of serious crimes, or any violence in the past committed by bride or groom. If the bride or groom got beat up or hurt (not seriously) for something they did that was stupid though, that might be a good story.
Like 99.9% of gays I know if they want to get married, which not many do, they just want to elope.
I think it's pretty rare that gays can do big weddings since usually you lose a sizeable chunk of your family when you come out.
I think the traditions held at straight weddings will continue to be just that, for straights only.
Idk I'm a lesbo just got married a month ago. I kind of had a best man, or really my guy friend was all "Imma be your best man!" though I had my sister doing more maid of honor kind of stuff. Wife had her best friend as a best woman or maid of honor.

But there wasn't a whole lot of speeches. Service was extra short and sweet, priest was so cool with this whole "I'm an irish priest, this a mexican styled gay wedding with a black gospel, this is gonna be great" can't say it felt over half an hour at most, real small party there of just our family and close friends at the church. Then after party was less formal we just had a large get together backyard celebration, fireworks cause it was on new years, so much fucking food and tequila. We didn't require gifts, me and wife wore dresses but didn't require dress code or gifts, had a mariachi the whole night. I didn't knock out till past 4am and I still heard people outside.

A lot of it is a chunk of the family not showing up. I know most of my mothers side didn't wanna show up and made that extremely well known to me except a couple cousins and one great uncle and aunt. But my fathers side is much much larger and her side made a good number too despite their previous homophobic stuff.

A lot of wedding traditions you get to pick and choose when you're gay. It's like you're already pissing on basic tradition by being gay, no one is gonna give as much a fuck at that point if you have the right shrimp appetizers or centerpiece. If you wanna skip the best man/maid of honor bs cause it feels childish you can just skip it.

The main traditions we kept was I got married in the same church as my older sister (episcopalians ftw), I did the father/daughter dance, we both wore dresses although neither were white, honeymoon after, my nephew was a ring bearer cause he's adorable and her friends daughter was the flower girl, and open bar.
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