Sorry if this isn't the right place to put this. Was a toss up between this and advice board. Anyway
I'm a cis-bi guy. My SO is also bi and has recently came out to me as genderfluid. I've known him for five years. We've been seeing each other for 9 months. I accept the idea of genderfluidity, but this sudden change has really thrown me for a loop. I feel bad about wanting to keep him the way he is. I've just not had time to adjust to it I guess. I'm still not sure this will even last.
So my question is, is it normal for someone in my position to feel the way I do? Also general advice appreciated.
Yes, it's normal. You're feeling this way, because as you know, the purpose of dating men is to get fucked. Inevitably, you'll have to do some of the fucking to make it a fair partnership. However, one partner transition to a more feminine role is likely to bring with it the expectation of less topping. When they do top, it's less appealing because they now lack the characteristic power, and are instead (essentially) a sissy.
Stop using that fucking term. They are either your boyfriend or girlfriend.
This is not a real thing. There is no reason to accept someone elses delusions. Dump that retarded queer.
And on a note that doesn't reduce everything to sex...
Yes, it's normal to be confused and worried when a partner undergoes any major changes. Change is scary, especially if you really liked how things were, or don't have a clear idea of how things will be.
A good standby is to just keep being awesome. Find out what your SO wants/needs. Try to share in your partner's enthusiasm, if you can. And (if that's something you can do) keep giving your love and support. It can mean the world to someone undergoing a major change.
I told him I couldn't promise I'd come around to the idea. But I did promise I'd try. I do love him. I don't want this to end, but if he's set in this way and I can't accept it, I'm not sure I have other options. I'll always be his best friend at the least.
You sound like you're doing pretty good to me. You've got my hope that this works out well for both of you. With luck, you'll enjoy the new sides your partner wishes to show as much as you have the ones you've seen already.
Nervous, or perhaps just unsure. Many assumptions you had about your partner, and the relationship you share, that used to be clear and even safe, are now hazy and indistinct. It's making it hard to get your bearings and keep your footing. Things will clear up, I'm sure.
>I feel bad about wanting to keep him the way he is.
But he isn't gonna change. Genderfluid means you don't do shit, but want to feel oppressed, or you don't dare to come out fully as what you are.
He might come out as mtf later on though.
>Real in the sense that people really believe it
People really believe that the Jews control the US.
People really believe that there are four armed blue people who drive flying gazebos.
People really believe that dinosaur bones were buried by a red guy with horns in order to trick them.
People believe ridiculous things
>Just because he thinks differently is no reason to ostracize.
It is because ignorance spreads. Because of a lack of telling people like this off and a culture that promotes the denial of reality if it conflicts with personal beliefs I live in a country where there are people who think evolution is a hoax and that global warming is a myth created by China in order to weaken our economy. There are still tons of people living in first world countries that actually believe the world is flat or hollow because "we have to respect their beliefs"
this^ i too believe that things like speciesfluid cross the line, but i also dont claim to know all there is to know about everything ever... if someone feels genderfluid who am i to intervene in/judge/belittle his/her life? Has anyone here taken a step back to consider we might be ignorant on many things?
> bi and genderfluid
I agree that both are a spectrum, but I find it ridiculous to actually identify as anything if you choose both. Honestly. It's like calling the atlantic ocean the same as the pacific, just because they're technically the same body of water. Good grief. And on top of that, you make gays and trannies look bad by just suddenly being a normalfag whenever it's convenient.
Who the fuck cares, get over yourself.