any closet fags got some advice for me?
i was out of the closet, then went back in, and i find it much more comfy. problem is i got oen friend from my old life who keeps thinking im not being honest or limiting myself by being in the closet. no matter which way i spin it he thinks its bad for me.
is there some way i could explain this in straight terms to him? im not under threat of being outed but he likes to argue about it a lot and id like to try to find a way to make it comfortable for him.
>problem is i got oen friend from my old life who keeps thinking im not being honest or limiting myself by being in the closet. no matter which way i spin it he thinks its bad for me.
tell the friend to fuck off
what you do is none of his business honestly, that's really it. There's nothing he can do to control your life and you can be in or out of the closet as much as you desire.
Seriously, friends like those are not worth
thats too harsh a judgement to make on my friend. hes a great person, extremely open minded. hes straight, and we only met cuz i asked him on a date randomly but we still managed to be friends. hes not a bad person and hes not trying to dictate my life, he just doesn't understand that being out isnt important to me.
hes definitely worth the challenge.
thats an interesting approach. if all else fails perhaps.
>extremely open minded
not that open minded if he's trying to control your life tbqh
Honestly, this is a really good time to tell him that while you appreciate his opinions, this is your life, and you're handling it how you deem necessary. You aren't being oppressed or silenced, you just want to handle things how you see fit. Even if he doesn't accept this at first, he'll come around - that's if he's actually a good friend and won't later betray you tbqh.
>not that open minded if hes trying to control your life
hes not. hes not going to out me. he encourages me to out myself because he thinks that everyone should accept me for 'who i am'. but hes not used to encountering this situation, he doesnt understand that being gay isn't integral to me.
i dont think this is an excuse to be mad or hate or remove someone from my life. hes an amazing friend and just needs to be educated a bit on this particular situation.
>just tell him thats the way it is
thats where it ends at the moment. and of course hej ust deals with it as is cuz there isnt much other option. he wont betray me though. he rarely sees the other people, generally when i only invite them to group events. im just hoping to find some sort of straight metaphor for him
>he doesnt understand that being gay isn't integral to me.
I feel the same way. I'm only curious atm but damn if I'll tell anyone, I feel like if I do then I'm making it seem like a big deal that needs to be addressed, when in reality I just want to focus on getting my life together, not cock.
thats kinda where im at. life is just eaiser when you're treated like a person and not like a homosexual. even when people are 'accepting' they still reduce you to homosexuality. it really open my eyes to other subjects like race. i didnt realize how different the treatment was until i just went in the closet. other races dont have that option. they gotta deal with whatever happens daily and i understand that now that ive seen both sides.
i plan to come out to my friends one day, but only when/if i meet a guy worth introducing to them
>life is just eaiser when you're treated like a person and not like a homosexual.
I felt that way when I got out of the mental hospital, everyone suddenly knew about my depression and were being super phony, or maybe they were genuine, it just made me uncomfortable.
At first I felt kinda bad once I realized I was technically a closet case, but its just the way I am, even if I was fooling around with girls I'd try my best to hide it, I just prefer to keep some things to myself, I think we have that right.
You should probably say just what you said here. That you can't control society, and that it treats homosexuals as others, at best curiosities, at worst threats, but very rarely as an individual. While you recognize that people being out is important to people eventually getting over that prejudice, you don't want to give up the richness of your life to see that come to pass. Maybe that'll change again one day, but for now you relish living as, and being treated like a person with unique interests, goals, and opinions, instead of a homosexual.
>even if i was fooling aorund with girls
i found this part to be a LOT easier than i thought.
i try that, but he cites himself as the example for open minded people and that if their not like him then maybe their not worth hanging out with (oddly similar to some of the people in this thread actually) but then i cite the urinal, and he claims thats not a real thing so idfk
Buddy, you're one in a million. You make a big difference, but don't think I can tell the rest of that million to fuck off and expect to get results. I value your optimism, but I don't share it. Leave it be and let me relax as "just a guy" for a while.