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Getting over a straight crush
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You are currently reading a thread in /lgbt/ - Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender

Thread replies: 53
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How do I get over a guy that is straight?
>he's my best friend since we were 3 (23 now)
>He's kinda hot and very kind, great personality and we have a lot in common
>kinda have a crush on him for a couple years
>he hasn't dated a lot of girls, so that gave me hope for a while (now I know that he's more asexual than in the closet)
>recently out to him and he's chill about it, he just made clear that he's straight
now
>we do some kinda "couple fights" even in public about something we disagree (i usually act mad and he tries to comfort me) but we laugh about it
>he's telling me about a nice girl girl that he met at the gym and he's planing to ask her out, but she has a boyfriend
>obviously encourage him to do it and be happy
>actually dying inside and having actuals dreams about being happy with him
Pls halp, I don't know what to do anymore
>>
Forgot to mention: today's his birthday and I plan to get really drunk and just have the courage to tell him everything I feel, it seems like the most straight forward (kek no pun intended) way of end this. If he's really my friend he'll understand right? .......... Right?
>>
>If he's really my friend he'll understand right?
Why don't you understand that he simply isn't capable of returning your feelings and be an adult about it? I understand that you're in a lot of pain right now, but the things you're imagining simply aren't possible. Focus on the fact that you do have a great friend who loves and accepts you, that's not such an easy thing to find, and certainly not something to be taken for granted. Be grateful for him, appreciate your friendship as it is and check your thoughts when you get greedy. Avoid fantasizing about you as a couple. Jerk off as much as you need to, if you start crying while jerking off, keep going, trust me, it helps. Once you've got that out of your system and you're not such a whiny, ungrateful, greedy bitch, try and find a nice guy with a compatible sexual orientation. If it all works out with him, you'll laugh at how silly you used to be.

Good luck.
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So you're okay with losing him as a friend forever?
If so, let it all out.

If not, then bottle it in. If he were interested he would've made the first move, after you came out to him.

Out of sight, out of mind. Avoid him. Move to another town or whatever.
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>>5676158
>>5676179
I agree, you should confess. If you don't, keeping this secret will slowly ruin your friendship with him anyways, because you will start to turn jealous and bitter like every other human being would in your shoes.

He may not understand, or it may turn awkward. It may be so awkward, in fact, to ruin everything forever. There is just no winning sometimes, you can only do it or don't. But you may be blessed with the straight friend that actually understands. Just try it.
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>>5676197
>keeping this secret will slowly ruin your friendship
No it won't. At least not if you're mature. I had a crush on my best friend for a while, but I managed to keep my feelings out of our relationship. Whenever I was with him, I was happy to have a friend like that, and those thoughts somehow took a back seat. I was focused on what he was saying, what we were doing, not on my fantasies. It was hard when I was all alone, but eventually I got over it and hooked him up with a qt I met. I was genuinely happy for him and proud of what I did because I'm not a shitty friend.
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>>5676206
You give homos a good name.
GG
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>>5676206
Yes, it's true. However I assume that OP isn't as mature since this crush is enough to ask on 4chan what to do about it. He also feels the need to confess, so it's clear that there will be a point when he will break if he doesn't.

You manage to hook up with someone, but not everyone is as lucky.
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>>5676215
I don't know about that. I'm not very good at being a homo.
>>5676217
>You manage to hook up with someone
No, I hooked him up with a cute girl I met while partying. They're still together and adorable. My own sex life is depressingly necrotic.

But yeah, I suppose that if OP feels the need to confess, it might eat away at him. Still, I don't think that getting wasted is the good way to go about it. God knows what will come out of his mouth.
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>>5676197
Bad idea.

If you want to save the friendship you have to just get over it. Rationally, you know that making a move will destroy the relationship, so deny your fantasies and start looking for someone else to obsess over. Really.
>>
Marc Dylan makes a lot of sense. He's very eloquent to boot...
https://youtu.be/PAgY9Sn4qnU?t=1m55s
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>>5676267
>shirtless guy as a thumbnail
My cancer sense is tingling.
>>
Another one
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=62upiZmq4aE
Crush On A Straight Friend.. What To DO?
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>>5676248
Sorry, my reading comprehension is bad today.

>>5676255
It's true, it might destroy his friendship. I don't know about OP, but sometimes it's just better to let go of impossible crushes by telling the truth. Bottling up and denying your feelings is just hell. I would never recommend it.
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>>5676179

How would you have felt if after you came out to him he started pressing you whether or not you were sure, not taking a yes for an answer. Trying to hook you up with women? This is what you are doing to him. He knows you are gay, you have to respect he is straight out just doesn't see you that way
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>>5676158
>we do some kinda "couple fights" even in public about something we disagree (i usually act mad and he tries to comfort me) but we laugh about it

>be gay
>have crush on straight guy
>do that thing to him that every man hates about women the most
Does not compute.
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>>5676179
STOP. ANON DON'T DO THIS.

You only recently told him about your sexuality, people might seem cool with it and maybe nothing really changed between you two, but something like this is reason why you might actually lose him.

Even if you two are friends since forever, friendship is still something very fragile, just move on and forget about it.

At least don't be drunk when you plan to tell him this, and maybe do it when you really moved on.
>>
>>5676158
You don't tell the straight guy you're in love with about your feelings.

Instead, you do everything you can to help them find the perfect woman for him, and then just take a backseat and try to be happy for him and not hate the woman who's living the life of your dreams.
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>>5676179
Done that with my "best friend forever" a while ago, who was totally good and chill, but we were friends only for about half of the year not like you 20 years straight (get it?)
I propose my true intentions to him, with all that I wanted from him - his body, his attention, his dick, his attitude and his personality, I said I love him (even that I don't believe in love from the start). I said all things that were swarming in my head about him in his "face" (actually was talking via online app), and here I'm now, all alone. Cause he can't bare this information, that some faggot around wants from him all those nasty things, even when I swore that I will never pull hard anything that I really want if HE doesn't want it. The fear of being misjudged by society that he hanging out with a gay person so everybody assume that he also a gay - was too heavy.

But oh well. I wish you the very best luck. And also, no. Don't be a dick and get drunk. Be clear minded. Cause if something go wrong, you both will act like nothing happened - and this will kill you slowly. Let that situation be clear for both of you. You both must understand your actions and live through their consequences.
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>>5676217
When two people living with each other like a couple (of friends) do all shits together and becoming true soulmates... why anybody must care if those are straight+gay dudes? THEY ARE already in better position and relationship that half of the straight pair of this planet have.

I don't know. Rationally - there is no fucking better person to live with and spend whole time of the universe than your best fucking friend. It's rough ofc that you have those social expectation and natural instincts of reproducing by penis in vagina. But come one. We are half animal not fully, we have a brain that can LEARN and that can be thought about soulmate >>>> fuckable piece of meat with baby incubator that even can't replace your best friend forever with her pussy in better days. And has nothing in common with your life that you spent with bff through your childhood.

ladies nothing personal. You rock but only for other girls.
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>>5676374
>allowing a filthy whore to have the man of your freams
No this is bullshit. Absolutely disgusting. No woman deserves him
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>>5678300
I agree. But sadly that's up to him to decide.
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I have been thinking of becoming a tranny to attract him. Yes I love him this much ;_;
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>>5678316
>I'd date you if you were a girl!

Too bad I'd never pass.
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>>5678315
No. He is straight and all straights are slaves to the pussy. I have to protect him for his own good or a manipulative whore will get him and make him her mindless slave. She wont even love him, she will cheat on him and manipulate him. She will use sex to make him a provider.
>>
Would the straight guys here date their best friend if he became a tranny for them?
>>
what if your friend was dtf but not into any long time or real relationship? would you feel used afterwards?

just curious
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>>5678590
I wouldn't feel used, but having that sort of intimacy with him would make me love him 10x times harder, and knowing he still can't possibly feel the same way for me would most likely drive me to suicide.
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>>5676179
First off do not do that it's a horrible idea. Second if you're going to do that horribly stupid thing, then do not do it on his fucking birthday. At least wait a day.
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>>5678649
OP here. Same
>>
I'm trying to be mature about my straight crush and just ignore those feelings and just be a good friend.
I find it almost impossible though, every time I'm around him it's painful but happy at the same time. Painful that I can never be with him but happy because he really lights up my life.

Then usually cry self to sleep after we're done hanging out. I know he would never be interested in me (mtf tranny) and besides he's got a girlfriend, so I would never dare express my feelings or attempt to get in between them.

He'll probably marry her and that's for the best, she can give him things that I could never anyway.
>>
>>5680528
I understand you completely. I try to convince myself that it's stupid to have feelings for him. But then I see him and he literally brightens my day. It doesn't help that he's very charismatic and charming and always says the right things.

I'm actually considering getting professional help because my feelings for him are starting to ruin other aspects of my life. For example, I was dating a guy recently and I kept comparing him to my crush, and of course he was not even half as good as him. That mentality can't be healthy.
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I had a class with this Russian man much more mature than me

He was single, but his ex meant a lot to him

He admitted to "checking out men too" but that basically just meant he was bi meaning "I want to spend the rest of my life wit a woman"
>>
got the same situation but we're both girls

>both single
>spend pretty much every day together
>friends since early highschool
>constantly fielding jokes from coworkers/ friends that we're a couple
>constantly joking amongst ourselves about how we're a couple
>openly talked about the topic of me liking her and how that's never going to happen (lied because I'm a pussy)
>she admitted to me while drunk a while ago that she spent an entire night wanting to hook up with me (we were on acid- but we do acid frequently)
>we're planning to go away for six months in June
>she's straight and I'm still hopelessly into her
>I actually want to die
>>
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OP here just came back
>go to his birthday
>a couple of friends were there, mostly guys
>after a couple hours they left and, and I was about to leave also, but my best friend told me to stay because he wanted to go to drink in a nearby bar with me alone
iKnowNothingIsGonnaHappenButHe'sSoSweetWithMe.dll
>agree
>go drink a couple glass of beers and start talking
>suddenly the conversation got really deep
>he starts talking all of the sudden about all the girls he's been with
>literally the first time in 20 years that I heard that he's been with this many women, we practically never talk about this topic before
>see the love in his eyes for this girls, most of them didn't work out because "bad luck" he said
>half listening, half in shock because realization and pain
>every girl he mentions being in love with/times that he got hit on feels like a physical stab in my heart every time
>now I see him more straight than before
>all hope is lost forever
I'm kinda numb now from all the pain, but I know it's going to hit me hard tomorrow

>>5676206

>I was focused on what he was saying, what we were doing, not on my fantasies
Literally this, it's the best advice in this thread, I often find myself fantasizing and that's the worst part.
Thank you all so much for your advice.

(Sorry for my English, not my native language)
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>>5681422
P.S.: if it wasn't obvious: I didn't told him anything about how I feel, now I know it's impossible and it's more risky than safe telling him the truth.
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>>5681450
I'm not falling for it. I'm not reading that shitpost.
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>>5681453
Wtf, it's not a shitpost, it is really what happened
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>>5681422
>>5681450
Good, you avoided ruining his birthday and your friendship
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>>5680528
You need to focus your romantic energies elsewhere, seriously.
It's either that or lose him.
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>>5681417
Yikes. That will end in tears and probably a suicide.
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>>5681528
Yeah no fucking shit.
Advice?
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>>5681331
eh mother Russia always been homophobic, so if admits that its more than just bi-curious, so maybe you have a chance, tovarish
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>>5676206
I tried this with my straight-crush-best-friend in college.. and it worked ok.. until one night I went to a party and he was there with a different girl, cheating on his GF. It was the craziest moment because it felt like he was cheating on me. Or maybe I was upset because he wasn't cheating on her WITH me?
Regardless, I realized I am actually not as mature as I was hoping I was. And in the end I just decided I couldn't handle being friends with him at all.
After that I've kinda stuck with making only gay friends, and I'm a lot happier.
Now if i get drunk with them and get in the mood, fooling around is almost guaranteed and it actually makes the friendship stronger instead of ruining it.
>>
>>5676179
>how to lose your best friend in 2 minutes: the post
Been there, done that.
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>>5676158
Kill yourself with memes familia, it's the only way.
>>
been there, done that. Ended horribly, but was a learning experience.
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>tell straight best friend I have feelings for him
>"But, anon, I'm not... you know, gay."
>"I know, I know, but I just had to tell you. I don't expect you to feel the same way, don't worry."
>Awkward silence
>"I mean, I'll get over my feelings, don't worry. I value our friendship a lot, and I wouldn't want to risk it."
>"Me neither, anon. So can we still be friends?"
>"Yes!"
>A couple of days later
>"Hey [straight best friend], wanna hangout tonight?"
>"Sorry dude. Can't."
>A week later
>"Hey [straight best friend] how are you?"
>"Good. I'm busy, sorry, ttyl."
>6 months later
>"Hey [straight best friend] happy birthday!"
>"Thanks!"
>"Will you be at home this afternoon? So I can drop by?"
>"Sorry, anon, I'll be busy at work."
>"Ok. Let me know whenever you're free, we can hang out sometime."
>"Sure I will."

one year later I'm still waiting for him to be free.
>>
>>5676158
How about you stop crushing on him? That's the most obvious answer. Just fucking stop. I don't know why people act as if this is in any way a difficult thing to do: He's obviously not into you, so why the fuck are you wasting your time?
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>>5682780
Then again, the only time this "gay-straight friendship turns into relationship" thing has worked to my knowledge, it happened thanks to 4chan, so...
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>>5676158
You could convince him to become an MGTOW and hate women. Then get into a bromance with him and allow him to hook up with women every now and then to satisfy his sexual needs while slowly converting him to faggotry.
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>>5682790
Convince him that all women are without exception evil traitorous manipulative whores incapable of loving anyone truly. Bombard him with propaganda every day. When he hates and fears women propose to move in with him and live your lives together. MGTOW ideology is ideal for that so send infographs from MGTOW websites and such.
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>>5682785
story?
Thread replies: 53
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