>seeing gender therapist for 3 months now
>"the people I usually talk about gender issues with as in depth as we are dress differently than you/talk differently/have longer hair/act differently. I don't know if I can say you should consider transition."
>no parents to pay rent/car/anything except my phone
>can't dress act and talk how I want, simply isn't practical for work
>"that is a very masculine thought process."
>what being practical?
>"it's just that for a lot of people who transition those things don't matter to them, they just need to be themselves and nothing can stop them, not even being broke and homeless."
>well excuse me for having priorities
>"I really don't think transition is right for you."
>because I have enough self respect to live within the bounds of reason and have been working hard so I can one day transition and won't need to live off of social security because I'm a NEET?
>"I'm just saying this doesn't seem important to you, you could have grown out your hair at the very least."
>you've never worked in the corporate service industry that doesn't allow cis males to have long hair, dress themselves for work, or wear makeup have you?
>"I'm just saying if you really wanted this you would find a way around it to look how you want."
>stop pitching my voice down because I feel ashamed of having a naturally high voice
>engage female mannerisms
>so I should act and talk more like this right?
>"oh my god I am so sorry it's just you haven't shown me any of this so far."
>yea I feel really weird about looking like a guy and talking and acting like a girl
>"well this changes everything. Your voice sounds really natural you don't seem to be straining, and your mannerisms are spot on."
>well it's like I've been saying for the past 3 months now, this is important to me.
>"ok, let me refer you to this endo so we can get this figured out."
If I had the knowledge to synthesize my own I would immediately but ordering skittles from China off some shady site that also sells research chemicals which are known for their dangerous additives and inconsistent dosages sounds silly. Play stupid games get stupid prizes. If you see no danger in rewiring your hormones AKA how your body tells itself to continue to do the things that keep you alive I feel bad for you. Maybe you just don't care.
How many trannies have died from self-medding? How many in the past 5 and 10 years? How many on /lgbt/? Before you misunderstand, this isn't an "Everyone else is doing it" argument, it's a "Where's the evidence?" argument.
baka, kouhai. Kill yourself.
I'm in complete agreement.
It just seems like an uneccesary risk. Don't think I didn't consider it enough to order them, and don't think I wasn't excited when they got to my house, just understand that popping it out of the blister and putting it in your mouth is a small step compared to swallowing something that you have no idea what it has in it because it was derived from an unverified source.
Just smoke weed. No pills or anything else ever. I've been getting weed from the same guy since middle school so I trust him and I never buy from new people or smoke random blunts passed around at concerts.
I'm going to assume that you are going to and are old enough to go to a therapist on your own. Given that, you're also old enough to realize your lifelong fear has made you cuck yourself out of all the real effects of transition. You can only get those starting out young, after all. So, knowing that, you decide to let fear dominate you even longer?
Op you do know you can buy self med hormones specifically made by western companies and sinply resold online. Most injections come from australia actually.
You only think it's dangerous because you havn't actually researched your options. Are you sire you want to be a girl? You're not even trying.
Plus there's no reason not to just do informed consent.
You have your priorities, and those priorities don't permit you to be a woman right now. So your therapist is right, this isn't the time yet.
You could change things, you could sacrifice your job and search for another, but you don't. Having a stable future is more important to you than being what you are.
Stop scaring me.
Although switching jobs and starting from square one feels wonderful. Acting however the fuck you want. No one knows how high or deep your voice is, no one knows your mannerisms, how tight you like your pants, no one nows how you wear your hair or how fast your body hair grows or how you carry yourself.
I'm kind of a quiet fuck, but I'm outgoing enough when teaching others or talking to customers and staying late and covering shifts I think everyone sees past that. They probably all think I'm gay and talk shit about me like everyone else, but I don't give a fuck because they also respect me. It's fucking freedom, OP.
Your therapist is a shithead, OP. Obviously everyone's particular case is unique, and your therapist is too narrow-minded to see that. Plus, gender stereotypes shouldn't be used to determine whether you're trans or not, because that's fucking ridiculous. There are tons of more masculine women, trans or not, and you don't have to wear pink fucking tutus and run around with purple hair and dragon dildos to be trutrans.
It makes me so fucking angry when hack psychs end up hurting people, and I see it all the time. Get a new therapist.
I feel the same way when i chat with somr mtfs. They think just because im not willing to throw all my life to the trashcan, they get mad at me.like seriously, i rather live with dysphoria and have a place to live, food, family and friends, rather than wear a dress and have nothing.
Honestly why are you even wasting money on a therapist unless you want your letter for hormones? Ditch the dumb bitch until you save up enough money for some new female cloths, and enough to start hrt and then go back and ask or your letter. Continuous therapy is a waste of money for most trans people who don't have any other mental health issues, especially since we're way poorer than the average population.
It's free at a youth center. I could afford a legit one but I thought I would try my luck. I'm really annoyed because I fear he won't help me unless I break down and cry/ threaten suicide. He acknowledges that at the very least I am not male, but because I don't wear specifically female clothes I am not ideal for transition. If I didn't have to wait for a half hour in his lobby with cis people who would only laugh I might dress more femme when I see him but he's always late and I couldn't imagine sitting in his lobby with them. Most of the people at the youth center are ghetto and openly mock the trans that come through by sarcastically complimenting their outfits and saying shit like 'gurrrl u lookin fierce'
and breaking out in laughter. The woman charged with keeping the lobby a safe space just calmly asks them to stop but by then it's too late and the target of their mocking is already hurt. Then they just go back to talking shit to themselves until someone else they want to laugh at walks by.
>"I'm just saying if you really wanted this you would find a way around it to look how you want."
She's right you know.
And you're not wrong at all. While OP's therapist is being a dick, OP should be trying to make babysteps to see how comfortable he is with them. Whether it's shaving his body or moving to more androgynous clothing.
Its not like I'm not doing anything though. I have a pixie undercut with spiked sideburns, take amazing care of my hair skin and scalp, pluck my eye brows, shave at least once per day and wear minimal concealer to cover my beard shadow.
I always smell like fruit (pomegranate body wash + papaya face wash + mint conditioner + lavender laundry soap + keratin shine shampoo with eucalyptus + citrus lotion) and always get remarks about how I smell really good from new people.
I take biotin gummies daily and regularly get skin treatments at the spa when I go to get waxed. I even brush my tongue and dead skin off of my lips which makes them really full and rosy. My eye lashes have always been long even as a kid.
I am doing just about everything I can to look femme without looking uncanny. I wear skinny jeans and pastel colors all day and match all of my outfits. I just don't have long hair, I'm not an emotional wreck and it takes a long time for me to talk to someone with my actual voice which is naturally high as opposed to pitching it down.
imagine this cut but with dark, almost black hair and olive skin.
How can you be so sure of yourself that you need to transition ? How can you know that it's not "just a fad" ?
I'm not a therapist, but I think if he says that, it is maybe because he's thinking that you do not need transition. (You should obviously try with an other one, though)
I just don't want to do it wrong and end up with cone tits, excessive stretch marks, and liver damage. The blocker I want is bicalutamide and I only want 2mg estrogen sublingual or patch. Spiro and Cypro are really hard on your body so fuck both of them.
I've taken the steps mentioned to look more femme all of my life, I never knew I had options until the last few years though concerning transition outside of surgery which I vehemently oppose.
OP if u live in the US and dont live in the middle of bumfuck nowhere go to google and start searching to see if there is an informed consent gender clinic near you. you wont even need a letter from a therapist to start hrt. they will just go over what the hormones will do and make sure u understand any risks, take some blood labs and give you a script for hormones.
as far as your job. talk to you're HR department tell them that you are going to be transitioning and at some point when you are comfortable you will begin presenting as female.
and your therapist sounds like a dumb bitch. if you still want to have a therapist whilst transitioning, id suggest finding someone else.
good luck op
I get you Op. Therapist probs would have said similar things to me. I was 1 year when I cut my hair and put on a suit and acted like a bro to do interviews for the field I wanted to enter. Set me back a lot. But now I'm in and able to transition on my terms with my future secured .
>does not cause sterility
>recognized as one of the safest and most potent anti androgens available
>50mg once a day
>inhibits breast and prostate cancer
>on its own is capable of feminizing without any additional hormones as it doesn't block production merely the absorption.
I mean I raise my knees as high as I can when I run. I just run at a park and do 2 laps around a 3.2 mile trail. I walk for 10s, jog for 10s, sprint for 10s, repeat. For squats I go half down, up, all the way down, halfway up, all the way down, all the way up. That is one rep. You might start with 3 miles and 25 squats every mile though so you don't die. I built up to this over the course of the last few years. On avg I burn 1000-1400 calories with my workout. More if I wear a 50# weight vest. I eat mostly chicken and lettuce spinach tortilla wraps with black bean tomato and corn salsa, coming in at ~150-200 cals each with about 20-30g protein for nice toned muscles. I'll have 5 of those for lunch, 5 for dinner. Snacking is confined to either oranges and cuties before 3pm and roasted garlic broccoli and mushrooms after 5pm. No snacking inbetween 3 and 5 when I workout.
Ground workout is 5 1 min planks, 5 1 min of mountain climbers, 5 1 minute of burpees, 5 1 minute of mule kicks left, 5 1 minute of mile kicks right, then I do normal squats for 5 minutes and then sprint to kick off my run changing exercises in that order after every minute. I do that for both warm up and cool down.
This is false.
Bicalutamide isn't used for HRT because it causes a lot of side effects that are worse than pissing a lot and having to quit bananas. Additionally, a lack of any clinical data on its use as an HRT drug prevents a means of accurately determining it's effectiveness for HRT.
Also, some of the nastier side effects that's pretty common according to Standford's medical database are diarrhea, constipation, stomatitis, nausea, fatigue, anorexia, joint-pain, head-ache, and rashes. And these are all +5% chance reactions, so you'd likely get more than a few of them.
Just stick with something that's been studied, like spiro or cypro. There is a reason why those two are the most used drugs. Also, steroidal AAs are recommended because they also serve as a progesterone.
Common Side Effects of Spironolactone
Vomiting, diarrhea, and stomach pain or cramps
Dry mouth and thirst
Dizziness, unsteadiness, and headache
Gynecomastia (enlarged breast tissue) in men, and breast pain in women
Irregular menstrual periods and post-menopausal vaginal bleeding
Deepening of the voice and increased hair growth
Drowsiness, tiredness, and restlessness
Severe Side Effects of Spironolactone
Muscle pain or weakness
Numbness or tingling
Paralysis in the arms or legs
Confusion, extreme tiredness, and fainting
Unusual bleeding or bruising
Life-threatening skin reactions
Flu-like symptoms, pain in the upper right abdomen, loss of appetite, vomiting blood, or bloody stools
Difficulty breathing or swallowing
CYPROTERONE ACETATE SIDE EFFECTS
Very common (affects more than one in ten people):
Inability to get an erection
Lower sex drive
Lower sperm count
Less liquid released upon ejaculation
Uncommon (affects up to 1 in 100 people):
Rare (affects up to 1 in every 1000 people):
Benign (non-malignant) liver tumours
Tender lumps in the breasts
Release of milky fluid from the nipples
Very rare (affects less than 1 in 10,000 people):
Weakening of the bones (osteoporosis)
Liver cancer (malignant liver tumours)
Other effects that have been reported:
Improvement in acne
Shortness of breath
Liver problems (severe and even fatal liver problems have been reported in patients on high-dose treatment). It may be necessary to have your liver tested regularly to monitor this and stop taking medication
Temporary loss of body hair
Reduction in hair growth on the body
Increased growth of hair on the head
Raised blood pressure
Swelling of the ankles
Thrombosis (a blood clot)
I want an aggressive therapist like this. Maybe not one so unreasonable, but still assertive. Both of mine have been completely passive. It's come to the point where they're simply listening while I throw them money for the service.
thats kind of what they do though.... some people just need to vent about shit. Some are predatory esp with the trans community and will recommend HRT bc they know it will fuck them up and make them keep coming back for fear of judgement from another therapist. most are good hearted or atleast well meaning though.
Wow, Im glad to know Im not alone, I have always feel less trans because of it.
When I was younger I really wanted to transition while I was at college, but now I know its too late and there is no way I could get a job, and my life would turn a hell.
That's exactly the system all the middle aged hons champion though.
That people should hold off on taking meds till they're fully developed old men. The exact system that leads to a bunch of creepy fifty year old men in tutus like stephoknee barging into women's spaces and creeping out on little girls.
You'd rather a crucible for manufacturing sex predator hons than liberties and nondeluded cute boys on moans.
Granted op is an idiot if he'd rather play by that system than go informed consent.
I really thinks he want me to show him my part time look without mones before he gives me the referral. Which I would if not for the waiting room from hell with ghetto hellions and if I wouldn't totally get fired for showing up with makeup on. I already get shit about putting product in my hair, and not because its globbed in there and makes it stand up or anything stupid like that. Totally conservative style with a matte wax and still got warned about it.
his words specifically: "this is a family place."
My boss doesn't think men should use hair products of any kind, or lotion and probably doesn't believe in wiping your ass either. We should all have 3 in one body wash shampoo and conditioner and shave with our boyscout issue pocket knives according to him. He hates every haircut I get more than the last and tbqh famm I'm waiting for him to call me a faggot for it.
I don't think that's what that therapist meant
What I feel like the therapist was trying to communicate is that, if OP doesn't do informed consent, doesn't grow hair, doesn't crossdress, in fact, doesn't do anything to change gender other then attending a therapy, then perhaps the entire trans thing isn't for them
I really think you're just making bullshit up for Jesus, and I was just taking the opportunity to make a joke about how stupid straight people are.
Hormones alone, with no surgery whatsoever and no change in how someone presents or their pronouns, lessens their dysphoria in 90% of cases to a level about even with those that go ahead and get every surgery, name change, birth certificate, license to be trans, and whatever. Only the most severe cases need all of those little extras. Any straight doctor that gave a shit about honesty would know this. Yet most of your straight doctors sound like the OP post because they believe in the bible and they're dog shit.
most therapies are waste of money
the first thing a therapist tells you is that "I cannot give you answers, but I can help you figure out things on your own"
personally, I prefer assertive therapists who challenge your views, as they help you crystallize your case and serve as a voice of reason-and a mirror to see yourself in
the passive therapists are the worst
Not really, he gave me shit for using hair product and said he gets by with old spice 2n1 body wash and shampoo. Didnt say anything about hsaving with a boyscout knife but he is for all purposes your embarrassing to be affiliated with straight person yes.
He did see a gay couple in the dining room once and told me to keep an eye on them so they don't start showing affection and if they did to kick them out because "this is a family place"
its matte wax it hardly smells like anything at all. That isn't the problem I assure you, if anyone comments on the way I smell it is because I smell like I actually clean myself on a regular basis.
The only product I have that 'smells' is redken12 and even that is fairly tame compared to literally any hairspray.
>I always smell like fruit (pomegranate body wash + papaya face wash + mint conditioner + lavender laundry soap + keratin shine shampoo with eucalyptus + citrus lotion)
dear god I'd puke
But..why use hair styling products at all? Very few people do it and it makes you stand out, more so then having fairly long unstyled hair.
And why do you care about hairstyle so much anyway? You're not on hrt. You have manface, manbody, and with every day testosterone is destroying you more. Surely you have more important things to pay attention to then hairstyle?
What's the point of styling your hair if you're balding?
because that's how it is
it's not how it "should" be. it's how it is. deal with it
Psychs and therapists study psychology at uni or similar institution. That's a humanistic science.
Psychiatrists study psychiatry or neurology at medical school. That's a branch of medicine. Because they study something like that, however, that have little ability to interact or connect with patient like those with humanistic background are schooled to do, and they don't need to, since their job is literally scanning brains and selling drugs.
seriously, are you 12?
>Very few people do it
>And why do you care about hairstyle so much anyway?
....because it matters? I don't want to look like a fucking frump.
Fuck off not for another 20-30+ years at the very least assuming I never take HRT.
Hello OP. I'm a trainee psychotherapist.
If your therapist said things to you like "the people I usually talk about gender issues with as in depth as we are dress differently than you/talk differently/have longer hair/act differently. I don't know if I can say you should consider transition." and "that is a very masculine thought process." please consider seeing another therapist.
You don't need to dress/have your hair/act/think a certain way to fit your therapist's idea of what it means to be transgendered.
Your therapist job should be to provide you a space that's secure, contained and nonjudgemental enough that you can freely explore and hopefully come to terms with what you actually feel and who you are. Your therapist is being far too opinionated.
It makes my heart sink to read stuff like this. Please consider seeing another therapist.
Well I think there should at least be some basis of femininity exhibited. Even if repressed by red state values most any trans woman will offer some semblance of femme behavior if given a safe space and they understand what that means. It keeps people who are unstable from hurting themselves on a mania streak wanting to be pretty.
For him it seems dressing femme enough and taking care of yourself well enough to be called faggot atleast 5x a month in public isn't proof. Probably afraid of being sued, thanks transtrenders.
> I think there should at least be some basis of femininity exhibited.
Trainee psychotherapist replying.
Why should someone have to act in a stereotypically feminine way? femininity as defined by whom?
I don't believe a therapist should be telling someone how to behave, or style their hair, or subtly criticising their thinking as "masculine". It's a violation of the client's autonomy, and it's deeply unhelpful.
Someone who is unsure of their identity needs the space to think clearly about how actually think and feel, and what they want to be. How is it helpful to have a therapist, a person in power and authority, telling you stuff like "Well all the other trans people wear pink and like lipstick, so you should to".
I'm having problems following what you say after that, and you seems to be confusing bipolar behaviour with this issue at the end.
>Even if repressed by red state values most any trans woman will offer some semblance of femme behavior if given a safe space and they understand what that means.
You really don't understand how long severe, violent, and lifelong repression takes to work through, do you?
I do and it took me 6 months to work up the courage to see the therapist, 2 more months talking to him to even talk about anything besides the weather and how work is going. The only reason he probably kept talking to me is my appearance.
there is a vast difference between 'some basis for feminine behavior' and 'stereotypical female behavior.'
It has nothing to do with wearing pink and lipstick. I just mean GID can manifest from depression having very little to do with the gender of the person involved. They just hate everything about themselves and transition gives them what they percieved as a fresh start. I'm not saying they don't hate their gender role I'm just saying it may have more to do with depression than any actual dysphoria. Part of my dysphoria is social, meaning I don't like how men are percieved and don't want to be seen that way and lumped in with everyone else. It has a lot to do with my body as well but if the dysphoria is specifically one or the other I would question their motives.
She's essentially saying that all the trans people she's met are degenerate fuckups who don't care about anyone or anything besides themselves and decide to look like crossdressing freaks despite how much harm it will do to their lives.
She's right in a sense. Woman aren't rational, and neither are transwomen. Testosterone changes the way your mind functions, so does estrogen.
It is a masculine thought process to strive for an efficient and practical life, because you are an independent, a man. As a man no one gives a shit about you, there is no fucking safety for you, life will slit your throat at any given opportunity. As a woman she will never EVER understand this. Women function on a completely different level knowing that they will always have the safety net of being a housewife.
I suggest trying to at least get the opportunity to talk to some sort of male therapist for a bit. It's just not reasonable to expect a woman to empathize with you properly.
But in terms of getting HRT, just tell your doctor or therapist that you will start self medding and the only reason you came to them is to attempt to go down the safer route. That you don't need their validation and they can fuck off with their gate keeping bullshit. Don't let the kikes try and pick your brain, you've already been brain washed into becoming a tranny, I'm surprised they aren't already calling you good goy and throwing hormones at you.
In all seriousness fuck them, do whatever you want with your body.
>As a man no one gives a shit about you, there is no fucking safety for you, life will slit your throat at any given opportunity. As a woman she will never EVER understand this. Women function on a completely different level knowing that they will always have the safety net of being a housewife.
This desu. Though it's more than just the housewife safety net. I thought a female therapist would be better, but I had that same experience with her just not understanding. Especially the fact that sometimes it isn't practical to do something, and that you have to suck it up even if it makes you feel like shit. She'd get this blank look on her face. She also had the idea that pronouns were like the most important thing, literally had no concept of physical dysphoria other than "but that's just what society defines as a female body type, it's society's fault" and shit like that, but that's beside the point. My two previous male therapists were actually better. Maybe one of those rare no bullshit, get shit done type women would be an ok therapist. I get along great with them. But the ones who are all 3rd-wave feminism and feels are useless.
>She's essentially saying that all the trans people she's met are degenerate fuckups who don't care about anyone or anything besides themselves and decide to look like crossdressing freaks despite how much harm it will do to their lives.
It's not about threatening them. If you are 100% certain that you want and need to transition and the only thing holding you back is their approval then you need to make them aware of the fact you don't give a shit about whether or not you meet their arbitrary standards in order to "qualify" for HRT.
Unless you aren't sure and actually need them to talk you down from it.
I'm sure, that just seems like a shitty angle to work. Plus it would be empty threats I want my skittles to come from professional labs and from a pharmacy. I'm really paranoid about fillers and doing it without an endo and ducking myself up. I know the risk is low but even at 1/10000 on a scale of the entire trans population should leave about 30 people a year with bad reactions due to unknown underlying conditions. I'm not in poor health but there are too many unknowns for me to act without the help of a doctor and not have anxiety attacks.
Then don't bring up self-medding. Just make it very clear you don't appreciate their arbitrary standards in order to do something you are certain you want to do. All I'm saying is to be open and honest about how you feel about being held back from transitioning about your therapists is a misogynist who thinks women can't be calculated or practical. You need to understand that they all but literally said women would value their selfish needs over having a fucking income and that wanting to keep your job is a "masculine thought process".
Trannies live in this state of mind that transitioning is the only answer to their problem.
Why the fuck do you even see a therapist if you can't accept a professional opinion that you shoudn't transition? Just self-med and drive yourself to suicide like the little freak you are.
Well I've actually been to a therapist for one, and they were never this fucking patronising. They had me talk about what I wanted out of things, and what my options were instead of telling me what's good for me.
That's what's retarded. Telling someone what they should do with their life, even if it's the right thing, Clearly they won't listen if you put it like that. That's why a therapist's job is to make people think about their options and decide on their own what's good for them.
Well that's funny, because I was suicidal and doing extremely badly at a time and I was asked by my psychologist whether or not I wanted to be hospitalized, I wasn't forced to do it. Whether you agree with it or not, this isn't how psychology works, plain and simple.
Well up until recently it hasn't been practical for me to do so. Now it is. If you read through the thread the only thing they are basing this of for fb is the fact that I have short hair and use a deeper voice when speaking, which I actually pitch down because naturally my voice is embarrassingly high. I do untilize vocal fry though so maybe that will help.