Everyone put those markerss
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Last thread >>5672207
Hes a friend I've known since i was 14 and he confessed to liking me recently. I invited him to visit ti see if i can handle boys. He's attractive. But white, which is not my thing. But we get along really well.
>tfw no precum soaked penis in both hands RIGHT NOW
No worries, the world needs more dick. Godspeed and enjoy the DXM ^^
>kayla "filters" me
>sudden army of kayla defenders appear
not calling samefag but fishy as fuck
well I don't
I don't like jenner but if she wants to have female pronouns no problem
and nope kayla called quite a few people on here by the wrong pronouns too
I was not prepared for these feels.
Just relax, talk to him, let the conversation flow. Be yourself, you already know him, he's a friend. Idk, you just need to create opportunities for things to happen. Sit on the couch together and watch a movie or something ^^
at least you've got your prescriptions tho
my therapist is coordinating with my doctor and endo and i'll be starting HRT very shortly :>
I'm going to ask a faggot ass question that I'm sure you're all sick of answering, so tell me to fuck off if it really bothers you.
Anyways. I really think I might be transexual. It's been constantly in the back of my head ever since I knew what sex was, and it's driving me crazy. I want to be a girl. I want to be a girl. I want to be a girl. I want to be a girl.
But the idea of actually doing it scares the shit out of me. Is there any method I can do to start a transition without breaking my dick and making myself sterile? I don't mind the idea of looking a little more feminine or having slightly puffier chest, it's just sterility.
I want to try living as a girl all the time that I'm at home, and feeling even the most minute effects of a transition. Like a trial run, to find out if this is really me. But I don't want to commit in a way that I might permanently regret.
Does that even make sense? Basically is there a method to begin a transition without making yourself sterile? Even if the effects are minimal.
can you give me boy advice
because i'm fuckin terrified and i've had bad experiences before and i just dont know what to think or feel
save me elanna
taking hormones for a couple months wont kill you. if you stop even after a year you'll probably revert to your old self given time. sterility isn't usually onset until 3 or 4 months and thats only if you don't use your pie picker daily.
Pretty sure spiro won't chemically castrate you for a long ass time as long as you don't overdo it. It might make erections more difficult and give you that puffy chest you want but you won't go sterile from anywhere from months to years.
Problem with taking only spiro though is if your T tanks too much you might get hot flashes. Plus, you know the other issues of having low hormones.
It actually takes over a year for sterility to be permanent. But I don't think there's really a way to do hrt that doesn't come down to that, say, five years down the line.
Freezing sperm is a thing that some people do.
I don't know much about HRT, is taking Spiro different to that? Can I order Spiro online legally in Canada?
I was under the impression that sterility is just permanent, but I had no real reason to think that I guess. So even if I do like a year of Spiro and decide it's not for me, when I try to have kids like 10 years later my dick should work normally?
I'm doing my own research of course, but I want to get the opinions of people I actually trust over some subreddits and forums full of old men with moobs ranting about how pueraria mirifica gave them vaginas.
I want to try and avoid that being a necessity, but will do that prior as a precaution anyways.
Hahahaha no shit? Your therapist is a fuckstick. No shit your transgender patients can't cope. They were fucked from the beginning. I hope you can get your money back.
This is strangest post, how can you be afraid of boys. You LITERALLY used to live your life as one, how can you be afraid of them?
It sounds so ridiculous whenever I read MtFs say they're afraid of boys. It always comes off like you're saying so you can seem more like a girl.
I can understand it. When you were a boy and living with boys,it was all good. You were a part of the masculine brotherhood. But as a female you are no longer a member and that make a person feel excluded and no longer safe.
spiro is part of hrt. it stops testosterone but does not introduce e into your system. it will prevent further male attributes such as specific weight gains and mpb. spiro is what makes you sterile, but only if you don't frequently use your thing, like once a day or every other day frequency i think.
i was taken advantage of. i can socially be around boys just fine but i have an aversion to touch. any romantic situation with a guy makes me extremely nervous.
i'm sorry anna
i literally know your feel
shit i'm panicking
No, I left nothing to the imagination. I told her all the disadvantages of being trans and how it basically fucked up my life. She cancelled her next patient for me and told me she wasn't billing for today's session. We spoke for nearly 4 hours.
All the trips Kayla has misgendered to date; Lilly, Edgar, holic, Angie, ufufu so much so that Fu bhtfo which is probably why she was mysteriously doxxed he's said vitriolitic statements about every single trip get this man back to gay Gen.
>does not introduce e into your system. it will prevent further male attributes
So would something like that help a 22 year old male who's already past puberty?
>like once a day or every other day frequency i think.
I think I can manage jerking off twice a day, it's be a slower pace than I'm used to though.
I told her I wanted to keep my hrt options open just in case - based on research I might want to get back on it - but yeah I am detransitioning. My life has completely turned upside down since transitioning. I can't even remember one single positive another than a relief of dysphoria. Of course that's why we transition, to alleviate the pain, but it doesn't outweight the other aspects of my life. I've tried it for 3 years.
I'm afraid of guys because I grew up with them and I know how cunty men can be. Throughout school the only people that made my life miserable were men.
Now I have an extreme fear of interacting with men.
I commend you for those three years. And if you'd like to share some warning for people on this board, you would be most welcome.
Wait a minute, so in 3 years you didn't start hrt? Were you dressing before hormones?
you know, i've been raped by a guy and a girl before. and i've dated two people, both girls, my entire life and they both ruined everything for me. my thought is that some people just suck, regardless of gender.
but my body isn't on the same tracks as me. it doesn't react to girls at all, but it quivers in fear of dudes.
sorry i'm not supreme casual
Are we discussing dicks over here?
>tfw amazing dps as well
Its hard being so AGP sometimes when I top meters. And by hard I mean my gt.
>actually playing the game
I just got my character leveled and now just erp with everyone
I'm not here to warn anyone really. But I'm writing right now because it makes me feel better. I guess in the same way you feel relieved after writing a diary entry.
I started hrt soon after I turned 18. I was in therapy for years before that. The only moments I've truly felt happy in the last 3 years were the moments being transgender had momentarily slipped my mind. It's a living nightmare. I was an outgoing and somewhat happy person before, or at least I could act like one, but now I'm a shell of the person I used to be. The only thing I'm doing "right" is being in school and I feel so ostracized from everything and everyone. I talked to my therapist how maybe it's the typical growth pains typical 18-21 year olds experience, but it seems to greatly magnify the negatives.
>tfw always topped meters as dps but secretly preferred being healslut even though i wasnt as good at it
Hello again Cheska.
>I (You)d Cheska again without knowing it
How does this keep happening.
>getting a handheld
>not being 10 years old
>not getting a gameboy color
are you really that much of an autistic cuck?
Like seriously, you could at least get a portable that runs N64 games for like 1/4 the money.
No instant queue pop
No instant queue pop
>mfw I'm a tank at heart and no bf will ever heal for me.
I think so too. Discovering a sense of identity and your vocation is important in these years. I know I have a female gender identity, but being trans is bringing too many hindrance in my life which I don't need at this time. Sorry I'm getting drunk if my typing shit.
I've had her for close to 7 years. She's great and knows me inside and out. Thank you, I'll need it.
I'm not 100% sure, but that's at least my perception of how I can go about it. I don't want to completely go dude mode all of sudden; that's not something I desire. I'm a dress feminine person and I like to dress the part, I'll figure out what I need to do I guess. I need a big change in my life, fuck the clothes. I'm looking into finishing up my degree out of state, hopefully I can make that happen for the next school year.
well the newest ones having a tracking cam that makes sure no matter where your head is, you still see the 3d right, which is SUPER important actually
and it's just way better larger because then you can see the shit. graphics are really pretty for most games.
i mean, i was joking. this jug of cheese puffs can not replace a boyfriend.
Iktf, its the fucking worst. I just settled for someone who was already transing it up.
Not without purging you beforehand.
Shooters are for pvp. Scrub.
>tfw the only relationship I've ever had is with my computer
like i said, the new 3ds xl has the tracking cam. it has a couple other cool bells and whistles too.
if you dont want 3d, just get a 2ds.
i wish i could have something like that. my best friend/roommate thinks that we can't really hang out or have fun together or be sensitive with eachother specifically because we aren't fucking anymore. idk. i'm sad.
This reminds me of people who'd stop HRT because it toned their dysphoria down, and not understanding that, just thought they stopped being trans.
I hope for you that's not what it will end up being.
Well, that's just rude.
I asked my boy in the mirror if he wanted to date one time, but idk he doesn't seem like good boyfriend material ;~;
My mirror husbando is tall, strong jaw and serial killer stare.
So /mtfg/, what side will you be on in the race/class war?
Are you excited that we'll look exactly like South America in 30 years?
imo the 3ds is the best and most consistently immersive console gaming experience since the ps1
anna it ok
i'm gonna go soak my sadness in some mcdonalds like the true fat fatty i am
>look exactly like south america
anything to make more people look brazilian or colombian, i'm for.
>mfw all this MMO talk made me check my old reddit
>mfw this is in my inbox
Literally the best guild I've ever been in in any game.
Now I have something to pass the time with until FFS.
I don't give a fuck about it but I do appreciate the month long fried chicken sale that's happening.
>Are you excited that we'll look exactly like South America in 30 years?
Skyhigh homocide rate
Criminal cartels that have more control than the government
Even larger class divides
Unbearable levels of poverty, and food shortages
Inability to keep the countries poor safe, entire government working for cartels.
>No obesity epidemic
>Mexico is the most obese and fat country on earth
you don't need to have a critical and abrasive tone about this either, it's funny how you're coming from a "i've seen that and i know what that is" place, but you know everyone can detransition for their own reasons right? show some support, don't be a salty hon acting like who lost one of their members..
does "undefinable blob of sword and armor" count as man mode ?
pic semi related, not me obviously
okay here you go
Sup faggots, what are you all doing? Tomorrow I have to pay for a 180 dollar mental evaluation so I can get my next srs letter. I am not looking forword with eating that amount of money, but my insurance will pay me back, but I have to float it for a few months or years because you know insurance companies are assholes.
But he never does good on his promises ;-;
please don't use this to find our myspace
i can't speak for them but they pretty much said their own reasons. you're being blatantly crass and underhanded, sorry if you live in a world where your facade of perceptions negate reality.
pic related, average person who wants to have SRS
>Sophie proving shes a naturally born girl
Burn the cis!
>tfw take photo a few days ago and think it looks good
>tfw looks bad now
>look at zeemaps
>>You are best to contact me by SSB HF Radio.
>tfw book 30 days for 2 in thai hotel
>can't book for just 1 person
>190 bucks a night unless you're there for surgery
>pay 45 bucks a night cause affiliated with surgeon
>mfw I'm going alone
>mfw people literally pass on a 6000 bucks luxury holiday suite already paid for.
I'm really cursed to forever live alone and die alone.
I'm just gonna stop namefagging and go anon again for when i do post tho it's less and less often anyway
i keep feeling more distant from everything and everyone and just don't know what the point is anymore
feel free to ignore this post cus it's just stupid whining bs that doesn't evem matter
I'm with Chett cause Suporn is literally pic related and by the time he's got free appointments I was hoping I could go back to work again.
Plus Suporn is getting old. Makes me nervous.
lol so glad I booked right before the waiting list was so long
he seems to be pretty good too from what I've heard
>Plus Suporn is getting old
true but he seemed quite fit and healthy when I was there
if you want we could exchange skype or something if you wanna talk while there
was there alone too for the most part so iktf
Look you gotta practice this shit. You can't just go "oh well I can't because this and that." You think beautiful people just wake up like that? No! They work at it every day! And if you're not going to try then just stay ugly boy mode forever cause you're fucked.
are u mad she has srs and passes and u dont?
I am so damn not tired on that pic though from coffee and pvp.
Like my face is red because i'm so damn not tired ;A;
don't wait, you'll end up with my expression. try to start smiling now.
i just got them threaded on tuesday ;~~~~~;
nah. i'm a hon. this is my man (read:only) mode tho.
iktf. they are hugboxing me rn.
but angie, you look look infinitely more grill than me..
i'll go get my batemans and try again
yeah, i still have no idea how to anything.
>tfw you realize you could probably pass if you lost a bit of weight and got a haircut
I started hrt after my 20th birthday and I was super manly but people say I pass as a neet girl without really trying.
>2nd best german speaking country
Get me out of here.
>MFW I MADE LIKE 400$ DURING MY SHOW TONIGHT
I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING BUT I'VE MADE SO MUCH MONEY THIS WEEK I'M SO HAPPY I COULD ACTUALLY CRY. like i'll def be able to get the fuck out of PA really soon with all the money i'm putting away ;_______;
except i still don't know where tf to move. it's either portland or colorado. HELP where should my shemale ass go?? besides hell
I looked like a serial killer before hrt though.
Me none of you know the struggle.
That expression is my sheer annoyance that God fucked me so hard.
i grew up in seattle from like 5-10, then in huntington beach from 11-17, so i'm used to the west coast and all my family is around the bay area. like it seems so expensive? that idk what to do, especially san fran... a trip from here was thinking about it so i looked at apartments and it was like .... 2000 for the tiniest studio ever
sing them a song
bb u can afford to go to a doctor lmao
>tfw lumberjack tier body
>tfw man eyes and square chin
Uh no it wpnt happen I plan on killing myself soon I'm stuck in this state with no hrt no chance or ffs what is the point I wish I knew the things I did when I was younger. Its too late for me now.
Get a roomie not sure I've always wanted to live in cali and San Fran would be the least likely place a hun like me would get misgendered or murdered. Also you pull in like 500.00 a night Im pretty sure you could afford it.
Well I've seen one picture and you looked cute as fuck in that. So I guess that's that
thx bb. idk it's just that like ... i know i could make enough money to survive, but if it's possible i'd rather only pay like 1500 for my apartment yknow? i don't wanna spend alllll my money on a roof or food. which is hard when most places worth living are like that sigh
how do you not have the money for it?!?! don't you have health insurance? plus ur job and stuff??? DO I NEED TO WORRY AGAIN
shut up lmao i'm out of shape, you're fine. source: a hoe who sees bodies 24/7
people keep telling me to move to san diego loool. i just know that amelia lived there and she moved to vegas cause she hated it. is it better than i've been lead to believe?
idk it's more that like i don't want ppl being like ARENT U THAT CAMWHORE FROM CHATURBATE/TUMBLR/4CHAN/EVERYWHERE ON THE INTERNET? yknow
i'm scared to run into ppl all the time. like i have bad anxiety as it is. but it would also prob be rly nice to be around tons of trans people and stuff. so i'm torn
cis women take hrt all the time lmfao. it just regulates their hormone levels
who would i room with tho??
>I'm stuck in this state with no hrt no chance or ffs
Then leave. Just go to somewhere that will help you. Los Angeles had some of the most disgusting LGBT youth I've ever seen. If they can make it,so can you.
nah i dont have insurance, and im super underpaid. i was up for a big promotion and told i was gonna get it and then at the last second they were like "lol nope nvm"
lookin for a new job now. its exhausting.
>Agonizing over the past
>thinking about all the people I'll never be able to see again, all the loves lost, etc
>Suddenly realize that if I had figured out the trans thing when I was 11 or so I would have already been a beautiful passing chick by this point
>but I didn't
How do I stop feeling like this
Then ummmm I don't know GET MARRIED
Focus on the present and the future instead, I guess. I don't know, I'm not good at handling those kinds of feelings either.
>Possibly even worst of all
>I can pinpoint who the hottest person I'll ever be intimate with was, because I'm tranisitioning to unhappy cute dude to ugly chick
I was just being delusional
>I could probably beat you in a fight
I'm like street fighter material tho.
>tfw you clean up your room and make your bed so everything feels neat
I'm probably biased bc I have family in SD and went to HS there but it's pretty good. One or two shitty areas but there are definitely more areas that are affordable than in SF
BBY WTF???? how much is a doctor's visit?????????
i would love to get married ;______; t-triggered
have you thought more about doing phone sex hotlines or camming on adultwork btw? this is holic right lol
don't put urself down ur beautiful bb. but also dieting and stuff is good. as long as ur feelin good and healthy that's what most important.
well okie i will look into it then and ask amelia and others about it more
I mean that's easier said than done I'm supporting my family now and with out them I don't think I could survive living in pa was scary as fuck and I missed them constantly if could get a job working from home I'd get the fuck out of here but so far there is nothing and no way to transfer jobs either. La has a bevy of resources for down and out lgbt kids so off course they could make it they we're told they are confused men by doctors and therapist like me all because they don't pass.
You mean raising your larynx with the muscles in your throat, right? You shouldn't be pushing it up with your hands or anything. In any case, I don't think you should be getting sore, but I'm not sure exactly what you're doing. Is this being done for voice reasons or hiding the apple reasons?
You see this, this is the face of the shrimpy teenage boy that's gonna take your lunch money. :^)
your hate yourself more than you should. you're a chill person, mang.
Yeah it's me. Um yeah but I don't have a passable voice so there goes phone sex I'd do porn in a heart beat but you have to have the right connections and with my face and body I'm stuck only doing gay porn also the possibility of my parents finding out. I mean my experience with sex work was terrible a bunch of men bullying me, being hacked, and the followers I do have are all non paying customers. Lets face it I don't have the looks or voice im stuck and there isnt anything i can do.
>still questioning my trans-ness
>at a party
>what the fuck.jpg
>one guy with his gf gets on one knee in the middle of the room
>all the girls AWWWWWWW at once including me
>run away to go cry
I knew then it would never happen but I want a husband one day ;_;
Its a big city, so I dont think it'd be as bad as you think, but I cant say I've ever been in your position so idk how often you get recognized for all that
>when you shave your head because your long hair looks like shit and makes you look like a pedophile
I knew I should have just given up the delusion and repressed