Evening, /lgbt/. I have a question.
I know the gay community has a reputation for being considered "shallow". How high are your standards? What kind of things are deal breakers for you when it comes to looks, or does personality and how well you click override the flaws of someone you might consider dating or spending the rest of your life with?
How bad are crooked teeth to you guys? I take care of mine and they're not gross or rotting, but they're pretty crooked because my family was never able to afford braces and I sure as hell can't any time soon.
Life is suffering. I just want to be able to smile without wanting to crawl into a small hole and die.
I have a complementary rule. Who I'm seeing should be about as attractive as me. If he's better looking, that's great, but that comes with the worry that you might not keep his interest unless your personality or some other factor outweighs it. The reverse is true if he is uglier and so on.
The real good lookers tend to have horrible conceited personalities, but go one rut down and you enter a territory where there are lots of options. You can still find sexy guys, but they have more substance and are more humane and humble.
Sure thing. I was making one when I said fuck it and thought 'terrible' would cover it.
Dealbreakers personality wise:
Aggressive (bad experience from brother's aggressiveness)
Dishonest (white lies are np...but compulsively lying?)
Unreliable (I'm there for you. Don't leave me hanging when I need you most.)
Condescending (I've flipped at people like this IRL)
Hmm, that's about it. Nothing serious.
That's fair then. Your first post made it seem like someone had to be perfect. I mean you can have a negative personality trait without it being really "bad". Some are pretty tame and mild and can even give a person part of their charm. I know my boyfriend has a few but I wouldn't change anything about him.
Personality deal breakers:
>unwilling to try new things
>boring (lacking many interests or hobbies, doesn't have a sense of humor)
>is too faggy
Physical feature deal breakers:
>is a manlet (<5'9", depends on his build and whatnot tho)
>fucked up teeth
>excessive facial hair
>lots of piercings
Not sure, tbqh.
In some areas, I'm overly picky:
>must be taller than me (this doesn't rule out many guys)
>must be extremely intelligent, especially in sciences and maths (second language in common also preferable)
>must like weird, alternative rock music and edgy, old sci-fi and horror movies
>must be willing to have exclusive LTR (as in possibly lifelong LTR), with no STDs
>must not have tattoos (some piercings are acceptable, some not; depends how they look on the person)
>must be masculine, not camp/faggy/femmy (I want to date men, not women in men's bodies)
In others, I'm way more relaxed:
>don't mind if extrovert or introvert
>don't mind about race
>don't mind about confidence
>don't mind about looks, just so long as not repulsively ugly (which is normally a case of self-maintenance)
>don't mind (too much) about body type; if you're not (clinically) overfat-obese or (clinically) underfat, I'm cool with it
>if personalities match, would most likely be cool with everything else unless blacklisted trait
I'm not sure if my standards are too high, too low, or just right. Regardless, I'm still a kissless, handholdless virgin, so I'm probably doing something wrong.
I can imagine how there are plenty of folks out there who don't look at themselves and expect a partner to be nearly perfect.
I've met many guys who didn't give me a chance because I prefer the quiet of home. I keep myself well entertained at home (book, game, shows, etc.) It was seen as a flaw. Oh well.
Personality-wise, this >>5672579. I'd also add desperate and apathic to that list
>fat (chubby is ok at times)
>isn't /fa/ or dresses like a basic gayboy
>lots of visible tattoos
>is more than 6 or 7 years older than me
Damn are you me?
>>must like weird, alternative rock music and edgy, old sci-fi and horror movies
I would want a guy to like alternative music and weird things too, but I'd still be ok if they were basic but open minded.
>but I'd still be ok if they were basic but open minded.
Actually, this sounds better.
I could introduce them to the world of spanish-language horror, old movies, and music from the '70s and '80s that nobody has ever heard of, while enjoying their reactions to these wonderful forms of media for the first time.
There's always the risk that they couldn't like it, but it would be a good bonding experience/psychological pseudo-experiment.
I'm a bit of a compulsive liar, it fucking sucks.
My brain is always like "quick tell the truth" but my mouth is already spitting out a lie. It's even more annoying when I try to tell the person the truth and then they I'm lying.
My standards are:
Druggies are red flag
Sluts red flag
I try to be, my close friends know (they actually find it funny), but I don't generally tell people unless its something major because they either think I'm a shitty person or just won't trust me after that.
I haven't had many myself because I'm not fond of sleeping with random people. I've had offers but it just doesn't appeal. I guess it really depends, but if they've had quite a few I'd hope someone I'm dating would get tested.
Eh, I can see how guys may see that as a flaw, at least for their lifestyle. Think the reverse. A guy who is a homebody may find party guy to not be enjoyable because they're always out and either making him awkward by going with him or leaving him alone by not going with him. A homebody would generally be best with a homebody, and a guy that goes out with another guy that goes out.
For a relationship, my standards are pretty high. High and unusual enough I won't even bother mentioning them.
For a hookup, I better not see any AIDS sores on you, no visible herpes, and if you're going to bottom, no sasquatch ass.
Well let me prove you wrong.
See. I win. Hoo~ray...
Well literally nobody I know does.
Or maybe I'm just unbearable to talk to.
I've been told that I am quite ugly before by a few people with no connection or motive for conspiracy.
I guess I don't know for a fact that every single person thinks I'm ugly but I do know that nobody wants to be more than friends.
Don't want to make a new thread
Would you rather date a skinny social 7/10 with bad teeth but otherwise good hygiene or a fat 4-5/10 inti-social with good teeth but otherwise poor hygiene?
I really can't understand why people judge crooked teeth so harshly of all things. If your family didn't have insurance growing up or weren't rich, you could kiss braces the fuck bye and it's not like it gets any cheaper as you age. Getting a good job that offers dental insurance is also not just some easy thing to do either.
Fuckin' eh. You can't just practice proper hygiene and wish crooked teeth away.
Fuck it I've been drinking enough
I'm into fat guys, so already my standards would be considered pretty low.
Personality wise, I prefer guys that are moody and clingy. I guess that doesn't really make my standards much higher.
Even if I am attracted to things that people would typically say fall under low standards, I do worry that I'm not going to meet someone that I really click with.
>I do worry that I'm not going to meet someone that I really click with.
But if you met someone you clicked with that didn't meet your physical standards, how would you feel?
While sexual attraction is very important, I can't help but feel like a lot of people get hung up on what they want their "ideal" mate to be.
hygienic, aspirations beyond sitting on my couch, fairly intelligent, doesn't smoke, not fat, nothing generically horrific
enjoys reading (especially sci-fi and low/high fantasy), watching tv, playing games, interested in soccer/football/handball, likes cuddling, likes crappy movies, has non-pleb tier music tastes, enjoys exercising
Not too many tattoos, not Skeletor, preferably fewer mental illnesses, not too tall (like, 6'3 or below), not too short (5'3 and above)
Same. Ugly guys aren't attractive to me, hot guys are too intimidating, especially hot white guys. I'm pretty quirky-looking so I want a guy who is like that too.
I'm also attracted to guys larger and older-looking than me, but I have a 38" chest and look about seven years younger than I am so this is easy.
I prefer someone taller than me (I'm 5'8), older, decently muscular, with a deep voice. A guy's voice is one of the things that makes me first notice him. I can't date someone effeminate.
The above only works for physical attractiveness though. If they can hold a conversation with me and can challenge me intellectually, they would be doing much more for me than an idiot Adonis.