Ive known that im interested in women for a vast majority of my life, but i find it really hard to say no if a guy asks me for pictures, or wants me to cam. I can get off doing that but it feels so weird to. Am i bi or just a doormat?
Congrats, you're AGP like almost every other person here. You won't be able to have a real relationship because of it, ever. You're not attracted to men, but you're so attracted to the idea of being a woman, that you'll "degrade" yourself in front of men. You are attracted to the female form, but you likely don't find dominating or being dominated by them as much as a turn on as taking the cock. I've had a gf and a bf, by far my best experience was with my gf, my boyfriend almost felt as though he was just a prop in my fantasies, he wasn't wrong.
>attracted to the female form, don't find dominating or being dominated by them as much as a turn on as taking the cock
>just a prop in my fantasies
This all hits home. I always felt like I should call myself bisexual because of these contradictions in preference. Here and elsewhere online bi guys tend to either claim to enjoy both sexes in the same way, or have only been turned on by guys but won't let go of the 'romantic' dream of having a wife, 2.5 kids, etc. So I really never really felt like I had much in common with the online male bi community. Ending up self-identifying as a gay guy who's dick gets hard to people of the wrong/opposite sex, a straight guy with cocklust, or just plain sexually different.
Pretty isolating feeling desu senpai. Especially navigating female relationships where you feel like you're too aroused by someone to try to play the role of 'gay friend', but too gay/submissive to be the expected boyfriend.