So I need some help, that a lot of my straight friends can't

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So I need some help, that a lot of my straight friends can't really help w/.

So, I've only been with girls all my life. I've fallen in love with girls, I've had sex with girls (Didn't really enjoy it though), and I've seen myself getting married to women one day.

But this is my problem. I also like men. I've only been with one guy sexually, and it was the best sex I've ever had in my life. I have a problem, where I've never been able to ejaculate with another person, and I almost came w/ him. Unfortunately, my mother caught us and kicked him out (we met on grindr about a half hour before)

I've been in week long relationships with guys I've met on okcupid who live hours away from me, but none of them lasted. I dream of being held by a chubby qt and told how much he loves and cares about me, but in my experience, nobody wants a stable relationship. Everyone just wants to go out and fuck each other. I'm a bottom virgin, and I want to lose it to someone I love and care about. I see all these happily married men with kids when gay marriage was legalized, and on Modern Family and all that, and I just wonder, are they one in a million situations?

I just want to belong somewhere. I hate being bi, but I can't help liking both :(.

I normally watch gay porn, and I cum fast to it. I'll go on /hm/ and my jaw will be on the floor and I'll get sweaty and excited, but when I'm on /s/, I'm just like, "Okay."


What am I /lgbt/?