REPRESSION: the road to happiness

>>5634391
No. This intense, single-minded sexual drive doesn't even sound similar in TYPE to any experience I can ever remember having with sexuality.

The contrast is so great that it suggests at least one of us should seek a therapist to discuss this with soon. I'll be seeing mine in two weeks, advise booking an appointment.

>>5634435
so do you just have sex or masturbate and then... that's it? you put it aside and move on with your life? for how long?

I can kind of relate to this. As a pretty dysphoric AGP individual I can honestly say that if I weren't repressing, I'd be some cheap, tranny hooker on backpages because of my hypersexuality and desire to be a man's fuckhole. I get my best work done when I'm in really dysphoric moods though, it's awesome. I've lived a life of sexual repression for so long and am so used to this identity I have now that I can't let go of it. I mean, what would that make me? Not the me I want to be. Dysphoria just gets me in the mood to develop skills and build things. It's also a bonus that I get all of my energy from being alone.

>>5634446
When I was on testosterone? A few days, over a week a lot of the time. For health reasons, I'm obligated to masturbate more often now than I ever used to.

But yeah, the urge just dulled down and I wouldn't really think of things in a sexual context for a pretty long while. I could become aroused if I wanted to, but that's more akin to actively working myself up than letting down a wall against sexual things.

Wait till you realize that so many people are repressing their innermost sexual fantasies. Think about how it is for a pedophile, a beastiality fetishist, an amputee fetishist, castration fetishists, a violent sex fetishist, etc. Tons of human beings are living in repression of their primal sexual urges each and every day. It sucks but that's just how it is. It could be said that sex and sexual fantasies are indeed the driving force of life itself.

>>5634455
OP here, this is what I mean. It's like my disgust with my "non-repressed" side is incredibly inspiring in other areas of life and without that disgust and need to distance myself from it, i think i'd become nothing but that, i.e., how i am in a hyper sexed phase. it's like i've always found it necessary to struggle (and believe me, it's a struggle) to suppress these things so that i can, you know, do other things in life that aren't centered around orgasms as the end result. any time i've got involved with someone else it's left me with very shameful memories, the sort that haunt you lying in bed sleepless at night, and i've determined to remain single and private about my sexuality for life. the shame and disgust motivates me to become even more "repressed" and i start making repression my ultimate ideal. clearly, something has gone wrong in my sexual-social development but i don't want to be fixed or healed if it means living a non-repressed life.

>>5634536
true, but maybe it's easier to repress something so socially abhorrent and/or illegal than something that is nowadays more acceptable. for example, no one builds their personal identity around being an amputee fetishist, but many people build their identity around being trans or gay etc.

>>5634552
Amputee fetishists do base their identity many times around the limbs that they feel should bot be there. Many times they feel so strongly about the limb that shouldn't be there, that they'll try to inflict severe self injury, just to force doctors to remove it. Some will even project themselves through dating and having sex with handicapped girls/guys, kind of like how some closet trans-women will project themselves through having sex with other trans-women. Anyway, I don't think sexual deviance is anything easy to repress. We all have our strong fantasies inside of us, and we'd all love for them to come true, no matter how sick and demented. It's sad, but apparently that's how humans were created.