I've eaten way too much this weekend edition
Time to starve myself.
▶Informed Consent Providers: https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/932389/Trans/Stepping%20Forward%20-%20Informed%20Consent%20Clinics.pdf
▶Trans Info Dump: http://pastebin.com/h1vLPxyV
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▶Transition timelines: http://imgur.com/a/qWpxv
▶Voice Training: http://pastebin.com/dgipdsge
▶HRT info: https://web.archive.rg/web/0000000000000 http://taimapedia.org/index.php?title=Hormones
▶Voice Help: http://webjedi.net/projects/lgbtq/speech-therapy/
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Previous thread >>5606341
hey /mtfg/ I'm gonna go pick up some donuts, what kind do you want?
good luck c:
anyway i should sleep now, it's like 6am
I need a new job, but I can't decide if I should interview as a female or a male. I don't feel ready for girl-mode, but being a super-femme-weirdo-with-tits isn't much better than not passing.
good luck Angie :)
you are going to kill it
at some point you just gotta woman up, you might look and or mostly feel like a hon but it is your life now afterall and just have to do it toprove to yourself that you have the ovaries to do it
Wow, thank you so much for the encouragement. You're fucking awesome ^.^
I'm so sick and tired of being in this stagnant half-fem rut. It's hard to break out. But like you said, I just gotta woman up.
My bf lives a while away and I won't be seeing him until Valentine's. Perhaps I should surprise him, with new-and-improved femme me >:3
Sheen, you are officially become badass. Hope I can build up similar courage. March is going to be a stressful month. If my birthday present isn't a round of cuddles and headpats, I'm reviewing my friends' contracts desu.
if it's too long you know how to get out early
Gotta love how dumb America is
I've been coughing for about 12 hours straight and I feel like death
I just had a large mug of green tea with lime and honey and I can feel my throat again
Now I'm going to take a shower and go to the doctor
>tfw ur not anyone on mtfg's crush
>tfw you will never lift with Maddie
>tfw you will never cook post-wo meal
>tfw you will never cuddle and sex afterwards
>you will never celebrate straya day with jörmy
....i wish i started transiton chubby instead of a toned handsome guy.
Tbh, if transition doesnt work out, i'll feek like i wasted a perfectly fit, handsome boy with respect for women and in touch with his emotions.
....if only i started a little chubby with a softer bone structure
good luck at your appointment beepy! nohhh no fiery explosions, only good things
OMG my picture on the front page!!<3!!<3<3
I feel like Spider-Girl
Question on blood work. I ended up having T levels below cis women counts, and no FSH and LH, basically. Do I need FSH and LH at the expected quantities or am I okay with them being nonexistent essentially. I was taking 50mg for that blood test and halved my dosage to 25mg to see if I will still have T controlled with those levels less affected.
Because i'm yuro.
>tfw strong masculine nordic features and will never pass
>tfw make yourself sick by seeing your man face
>tfw anti-neet services orientation about to start
wew lasses. It's time to learn to love Mr. Goldstein.
>woke up at 10am
>lay in bed for 4 hours because i should epilate parts that are gonna hurt today and i don't want to
>get up at 2pm and do it
>it doesn't hurt
>what a fucking waste of time
giant epilator that will rip my whole head off FUCKING WHEN. srsly, get on it braun
>my thoughts manifested into an anon poster
Not that anon, I wanted to explode in jealousy then I realized no money in the world is gonna fix me...it's not like I cant afford surgeries but nothing can buy me a friend that fixes my inside ;_;
Curious if you're serious though. If I were millionaire I'd make some trannies happy for sure.
what atypical ones?
i'm trying to find a GnRH antagonist.
since the oral non-peptide -golix's are still in clinical trials they're way too expensive, so i'm trying to get hold of an injectible, degarelix. just one shot a month.
t-that's hot desu
i don't make a noise its just embarrassing really, my left half of my body is more masculinised than the other side with a difference in body hair development by about 5 years. i have to epilate my ass, but only my left buttcheek. it's not bad in itself but my butt is kinda round and bubbly and its that bit where it meets the thigh and holy shit that usually hurts.
>tfw doing a half assed job of epilating always makes me giggle
tell me about it. GnRH analogues are much better for you than spiro and cypro but their price is prohibitive. it sucks that it feels like the medical industry is cheaping out on us at the expense of our health.
My transition unfucked me a bit, trust me.
It's just that I've got absolutely noone to "be female" around. I'm a proper tomboy and I hate all of it and wanna let go of my old super masculine self, just never learned how.
And the loneliness alone is driving me mad.
Thats odd. Epilating always makes my skin look real bad and it never stops looking like I got minor acne all over.
I don't dare epilating my butt though.
Plus walls are thin, I don't wanna moan, bloody hell.
so i have like
7 hours to do this basically because i'm getting dick later. i woke up like an hour ago i'm soOoOoOo bored. like i kind of want to make breakfast but then i'm like ... or u could not and u could just fuck a lot tonight worry free lmao. i already epilated 80% of my bod so... prepping for sex is annoying
wyd mtfg how is your monday going?
I just took some photos of myself to send to a new hair stylist I'm going to be seeing. For the first time ever I think I look like a girl. No tricky angles or anything, when the fuck did this happen? Can't stop smiling now.
I only just heard about Aussie of the year thing.
Only candidates I heard about were the trans army person and the army dude about equality.
Who were the other people?
if you know how to get GnRH analogues on the NHS through a gender identity clinic pls share your wisdom with me srsly.
i honestly thought they'd just put me on spiro or cypro which is why i decided to skip the bullshit red tape and self med.
But yeah David Morrison is gr8
>mfw atheists whine about being suicidal because their life sucks
Why dont they just fucking kill themselves if theyre so convinced there is no god or anything. Not like they have hell to be afraid of, just end yourself if life is so shit, youre gonna die now or later anyways and since NOTHING happens when you die you might as well just get it over with.
My gender therapist is like the most wonderful person in the world. She got me started on hormones and blockers asap, didn't have to wade through any of the bullshit other people here have to. I don't even see an endo because she says they give sub par medication so I just get the good stuff straight from her. I guess you just have to get lucky.
reposting this here from my thred, pls advise:
I'm years into HRT but still living as a guy because I look nothing like a girl. I probably will never be happy with myself even if I get FFS. I'm over 6 feet tall with a very male frame, there's no surgery for that shit. I'll never have kids or probably even have a good long term relationship. I'll have to take medication all my life. etc.
So i've been thinking about just stopping HRT and trying to be a normal guy, start lifting and shit so I actually look presentable as SOMETHING instead of a giant androgynous mess with manboobs that's scared of being seen by people. But i'm worried that i'll just start having bad dysphoria again, and then my HRT progress will be lost. After all, estrogen supposedly alleviates dysphoria, so maybe i'm just feeling that and if I go back then i'll feel like shit. Right now i'm feeling like this is just a mental illness that I can potentially transcend by fulfilling a more masculine role. I'm not even feeling bad about visualizing myself as a man, in fact it seems a lot better than what I am now.
What do you think, would this be a mistake? Anyone have experience with this?
Well, you seem to think atheists are all selfish amoral jerks. Actually, most of us know something lives on when one dies. Nothing really mysterious about it either, it's just called memories. And bad memories can really mess someone up. So, even when you're desperate, knowing the last memory you'll leave is that of a grisly, self-inflicted death and that it will likely fuck up people who care about you, some of them permanently. Well, that's enough to stay someone's hand. To go easily? Well, that would require both a lack of faith, and a strongly rooted belief in one's complete isolation. It happens.
alright alright, i get it, im an idiot.
I just thought i was trans before, then i decided im not, but by then i'd already started hrt and it just made me feel good about myself. I liked what it did to my face and most of my body, and controlled my libido and made me feel calm and a lot more sane.
When i ran out,i told myself i was done with it, but then i started hating the way my face looked again, i started getting thicker body and facial hair. I looked coarse and rugged, and my self esteem started to drop again, so i just decided to buy another load. Then when i ran out again i panicked and bought another load. I just like them, i don't want to transition, but i just want to be feminine, and feel good about myself.
>tfw i tried to touch base with an old friend of mine in edinburgh hoping to come out to her... still no reply
hmmm. does anyone know what it's like dealing with the initial surge going onto a GnRH agonist? do they prescribe finasteride or something else to stop that surge spiking your DHT until your test drops again?
if i were in your shoes (and i'm kinda heading that way) i'd keep on the hrt but start lifting and hide my manly frame behind muscles. female bodybuilders are a thing and the muscle mass might misdirect peoples' attention and give them a reason for your manly frame "oh, she works out, probably does roids that's why she looks like a man". you'll (we'll) still need FFS to really pully this off though, and don't actually do roids. at most cycle ligandrol.
if the breasts are a problem for you, raloxifene maybe? it's used to treat breast cancer (and endometrial but that doesn't count for us), and osteoporosis. it's a weaker estrogen agonist than the usual like estradiol, but it's an antagonist in breast tissue and has been used off-label for gyno in males granted it hasn't progressed too much.
what it could do:
-prevent and even reverse your breast development
-retain/maintain the feminine features you want to keep
-protect your bone mineral density
-your libido will still be controlled (killed)
-you'll possibly be more prone to depression than on proper estrogen
-carries the same types of risks for thromboembolic events as other estrogens, i don't know if to a greater or lesser extent than estradiol valerate.
Just stay on the fucking hormones and get the double mastectomy. There. You can now live as a sterile man with a significantly female body and hormone profile. This yoyo business is just making you crazy.
yeah they probably are but i look at it this way.you can probably treat whatever the etiological origin of gender dysphoria is as discreet. that is, you're natally predisposed to want to present as the gender other than the one you were assigned. it's kind of a "nature" thing, whereas your life events, or "nurture", might lead you to feel insecure about fully expressing that to the point that it becomes engrained and really hard to feel secure completely letting go of other gender signifiers.
so that's the way i see it really is that a lot of non-binary people are probably the same kind of gender dysphoria with conflicting insecurities.
>still at doctors office, reading a book
>50~ish year old man starts talking to me, says I look like someone he knew named Jason
>shake my head and say no, go back to reading
>he keeps talking to me for a few minutes before deciding to bother someone else
I'm just not. I don't feel like i am female, although i don't really see myself as a man. I don't want to transition nor do i think it would be worth it. It would be humiliating and potentially just make me look worse.
I would like to be female, but i don't know if that's really it.
I know. Maybe one day i'll have the money and balls to do it.
Is it expensive?
yes. more expensive than estradiol. you can buy 84 x 2mg progynova on QHI for €14.20. so how many would you take a day? for your purpose i'm assuming definitely no more than 4mg, so for 84 days you're paying €28.40.
84 x 60mg raloxifene, more like €158.
you'd only want to take one a day so you don't get a pulmonary embolism or some shit, so you're not going to see further feminization, i'm just guessing you'd hopefully see maintenance of what you've achieved on estrogen.
you're paying more for less results, but that's the price you pay for not wanting boobs.
one option could be to cycle between raloxifene and estradiol?
take raloxifene until the breast development subsides, go back on estradiol until it starts becoming a problem again (since it'd be cheaper to be on estradiol), then jump back on raloxifene.
You don't have to transition to be trans. Moreover, the 'mentally female' aspect of being trans is overstated, you were raised male, everyone here was, you're not going to feel like a woman under those circumstances.
>I would like to be female
Trans. Sorry f.am.
Nobody is saying you have transition or follow any sort of traditional course for dealing with it, but it really does sound like you're dancing around the reality that you have gd and you would rather be female.
I have a lot of doubts about my gender identity although I know that I am a girl and the thought of being stuck in a man's body for the rest of my life depresses me. Still, it's hard for me to let go of doubts and uncertainty. I might be having full-blown panic attacks these days if I wasn't on anti-depressants already (been there).
On the upside, I feel more confident in coming out to my mom every day. I'm tired of hiding my epilator and make-up ;-;
Doubts are pretty shit
I've experienced them a lot
Somedays I could be going from full-blown self-hatred dysphoria to "Am I really trans?"
Don't let that get to you.
I have an interview to a locksmith job in 4 hours, I am afraid out of my mind. It will be my first real interview. How do I not panic and look weird?
>Somedays I could be going from full-blown self-hatred dysphoria
I feel like screaming every other hour. At least the unceasing sadness makes me motivated to exercise to distract myself with physical exertion. It's a weird feeling to care about my body for my own sake instead of pleasing anybody else.
Look up details about the company.
Pretend to be tony stark. I'm not kidding. Watch iron man 1. Pay attention to how tony stark acts. Pretend to be him.
Is 2mg of Progynova too low? I will be getting bumped up to 4mg in 2 months. A lot of websites say 6-8mg is recommended dose, but all the actual medical recommendations in Au say 2-4mg.
2mg is low, 4mg is typical, 6mg is typical for people that poorly absorb estradiol. For very poor absorbers I've heard as high as 8mg.
Well I watched wolf of wall st this morning with an entire pot of coffee. I don't know what to do, I feel worried I can't answer anyone's questions and I actually weep when I look people in the eye.
>Do you have health insurance?
I am getting on it oficially today any time I can pick up the phone but I have phobias over using the phone because my mom would beat me up when I was younger because I answered the phone and the guy she was cheating with would be on the other line.
But yeah I have horrible social anxiety. I became a hermit just to avoid humans as much as possible and every time I go near people I feel they are all looking at me and judging me poorly. I went to the mall for an interview shirt a month ago and I threw up because too many people were there and they all made me feel like they hated me.
>Trans. Sorry f.am.
>Nobody is saying you have transition or follow any sort of traditional course for dealing with it, but it really does sound like you're dancing around the reality that you have gd and you would rather be female.
just fuck my shit up f a m
Its totally the truth. I get afraid as fuck and usually never answer my phone. I haven't even made my clinic appointment for a hrt refill because I am afraid of being yelled by the person I am talking to. Every time I talk to a person now it seems like they hate me and are scolding me, I can only see people as hate filled monsters trying to hurt me.
Yeah, I know I should just wait 2 months but I want it now. Hopefully 50mg cypro is enough as well. I've read of higher dosages but my GP is pretty firm that nobody would ever need more than 50mg so increasing it is silly.
>had a dream where I overheard my mom noticing signs about me changing
>decided to come out to her in the dream
>she wasn't accepting at all and basically disowned me
Well guess I'm not doing that for a while
>tfw every feature on face is super masculine and awful man body
>tfw keeping my insurance after all
>tfw it covers FFS and SRS
>tfw it might cover BA
I don't know how to describe this feel. I want to scream.
>implying hrt does anything for your face
Most tgirls look like the Red Skull from Marvel lol
>Everyone that I knew through that period said my face changed a lot, I didn't notice any changes.
I guess it's one of those things that progresses so slowly that the person in question just can't even tell. Kind of like hair growth, you don't notice until it's really fucking long.
One thing I noticed pretty quickly was the change in skin quality. Went from thick, oily, skin to a thinner, pretty balanced one in a matter of months. Made me look a lot younger. Of course, I now have to use both day and night skin creams, since I'm not really as young as I look and estradiol is bound to make it really dry if I don't care.
Do you have any tips for coming out to my family guys? I've had a few close calls already and each time my mom gets more upset with the idea of me being trans.
>in high school she was upset with me because I kept shaving my arms and legs
>first day of college she found my stash of girl clothes and wanted to take me to a psychiatrist for a moment before I told her that was stupid
>since then she's found girl clothes and makeup a few more times
>she's convinced it's a phase and tells me that it's stupid
I'm 20 now and about to start self-medding. Wat do?
My self image is ten kinds of fucked up. I'm not even sure I still have a proper one.
Would help if I didn't have memories of dead people getting pretty invasive when I look in the mirror. I've given up FFS plans for now. Don't want to end up asking the surgeon to look like a dead lover of mine because I wasn't in control...
Anyway, I know I've changed because some women have become increasingly jealous of my looks. That's a good sign in my book.
everyone is so jealous of your looks
its okay, at least you dont look like this hon
That face makes me so hard. Somewhere deep inside, he has already realized that he will never be a woman. I'd just want to ravish that pathetic man-ass while whispering mean things in his ear.
Well, it's what I do anyway because with my depression, I'll always hate my looks. Nah, what really bugs me is when I find myself daydreaming and expecting to look like someone who isn't me at all and feeling properly shocked by what I see. I usually manage to reassert control right after it, but... Well, I don't want this to get worse.
>tfw you have to hide half your face to even look a tiny bit feminine
>tfw huge manly features
but i think there's a point at which your "haha, i'm dressing up as this character!" becomes "i think i am this character! look at me!
as long as you're self aware + willing to laugh at yourself you can do whatever you want. most people here are not prepared to do that.
>tfw u look in the mirror and see a man wearing makeup
fuuuuck. i hate this ;_;
tbhonest, you probably make people feel sorry for you
guys only beat up hot trans girls because they trick them, people like you and Cait jenner dont fool anyone so you're totally safe
>go for my run
>get back and eeat something
>shit post for a bit
>next I have to stuff
>need to call people about srs stuff
>apply for jobs after that
>maybe go see my therapist about getting a letter about srs
Also tumblr hugboxed me.
>wake up feeling like I was BORN a girl xD
>miserable man dude man
How do I make it stop??
>tfw no way to escape the hugbox
>tfw people have lost the ability to be honest
>Get notification from BAH
>"We are pushing you out an additional month"
Welp. Fuck it. I'm getting the hell out of this area.
Who wants to drive trucks?!
>tfw getting hugboxxed everywhere you go
>tfw you know your delusional, but still can only see the man in the mirror staring into your soul.
also, unsee it to me senpai. i won't hugbox you desu.
tell them you know how it feels. tell them that it is a legitimate act. it is courageous, yet it is a large act. it is not something to do in the spur of the moment. take a week to dwell on it and plan. if you feel just a bit better, put it off for another week. after all, our lives are so short, what's another few weeks in the context of all of history? that's what i'd say, but i dunno. i'm not good at encouragement desu.
i shouldn't have left my apartment today. i hate being trans
>tfw perfect man mode that never fails.
ik it sucks but the further along you get the less it'll happen, until it never happens. don't let it get u down.
and then you'll be like me and just get rejected once you spill your tea to men who hit on you incessantly irl. life is great!!!
my t levels are pretty high right now yes on account of me not starting my hrt yet
no but really, i'm not emotionally unstable and i truly don't care about the fact that i'm biologically a man. just getting that out of the way so you can shitpost more effectively. don't my previous posts in this thread give you some indication that i don't think like most of the posters here?
thanks. it probably wouldn't have stung as much if i wasn't already dysphoric today but w/e, i'm starting voice therapy in like 2 weeks and things are getting better. i think that might be the first time i've been misgendered (although i've definitely been clocked) since going ft
>tfw too manly to ever pass
>tfw ugly as fuck pig disgusting face
/mtfg/, how drastic has your bra size changed over your transition? When I first started wearing them, I wore a 34A, and did for about eight months, but over the past six months I had to switch to a 34B, now (Two years in) I wear a 32C, and it's starting to not fit me right. Could muscle and weight changes combined with waist training moving some of my ribs around explain the drastic change? After training for a bit today I realized the changes started a short time after starting to train. After I order a smaller corset I feel it won't be long before I'm a 30D or something, if things continue as they are.
i am both cute and passable, but you can't change chromosomes. what are you not understanding?
yeah i totally get that. when you feel dysphoric even without getting clocked you think everyone is staring you down and knows ur secretly a man lmao!!! jk but you know what i mean.
once your voice passes you'll feel a lot more confident and things will get loads easier too. idk. transitioning is a process. like i wasn't ever really misgendered once i started living full time but that was because i had a ton of extensions in and wore 5 gallons of makeup so even when i got clocked ppl knew what i wanted to be called. it takes years to get to the point where you like ... you know get comfortable with accepting yourself, then experiment more with your look, then (hopefully) starting hormones, then figuring out what style DOES work for you, and getting your voice where you want etc........ it takes at least 2 years in total to be 100% where you wanna be. so ya. it's fine. ur a work in progress don't be so hard on yourself.
i've posted my selfie before, if you care that much go look through the archives.
trolling me really doesn't do much, since i see trans shit in general as a mental illness too. i'm just taking the only path i can to deal with it. does it make me a retard? yep. does it make me a freak? yep.
gets me through the day though, and i'm cute enough to live the life i want to lead. can i help with anything else?
Want to spit at a real hon? Have at me. I hope you've got better insults that what you've thrown around so far.
When did you first notice the first effect of your HRT? What was it?
>tfw everyone says you're ugly
>tfw can't fix ugly
Not only you.
I wish I wasn't too manly to go get a proper haircut.
Anyone SUPER SMART with voices? apparently my pitch is around 240Hz permanently and I am unsure if thats too squeaky. I also wonder if lowering it could make it louder and less monotonous
on 4chan everything is a joke.