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How do you know if you're gay or just...
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You are currently reading a thread in /lgbt/ - Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender

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How do you know if you're gay or just making yourself think you're gay?
Whenever I think I'm gay I then think I'm just making it all up in my head and I'm really straight.
Is it possible to be really bi?
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If I were you, I would sincerely be more worried if I were retarded.
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>>5602910
I'm not retarded. Mah momma had me tested.

I've just never been able to settle on an opinion. Be it careers, restaurants, politics. Whenever I think I've decided on something I immediately assume the opposite is true.
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>>5602941
>an opinion
Being attracted to a single gender or both genders is not an opinion. It's an extremely simple concept.
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I have the same problem OP, always wondering if I'm lying or trying to deceive myself somehow, but I just took a straight look at myself and said "I'm pretty sure most boys don't fantasize about other boys" then I knew I was gay because it was based on a global fact
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>>5603005
>Being attracted to a single gender or both genders is not an opinion
It's more about always doubting myself.

Like how do I know if I'm legitimately attracted to one gender or another? Vaginas disgust me but I get boners from looking at women. Shit that most gays like such as muscles, big butts on manly men, and gay porn just don't do it for me either but I still find myself being attracted to men and cocks.
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>>5603101
>"I'm pretty sure most boys don't fantasize about other boys" then I knew I was gay because it was based on a global fact
I'd advise you too look at history because it seems that fantasizing about boys was pretty common for straight dudes pre-christianity

And also it's like how do I really know I'm fantasizing about them and I'm not just forcing myself to fantasize about them while really not having any gay proclivity at all?
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>>5603132
You've literally defined bisexuality. A bisexual person is attracted to both genders to some degree. You don't need to be attracted to all men, but at least one man.

If you are attracted to at least one man and at least one woman, you are bisexual, whether you like it or not. Anything else is just preference.
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>>5603142
>I'm not just forcing myself to fantasize about them
lmao bisexuals confirmed for delusional
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>>5602887
holy shit i made that ox picture in an oregon trail thread on /v/ years ago. sorry just didnt think i'd see it again


anyway it sounds like youre bi, but idk
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>>5603152
It seems like a dumb definition to me.

Plus I'm not attracted to them in the same way. It's like with men I feel the attraction in my stomach like "Oh wow he's so cute/handsome. I just wanna cuddle/kiss him." and I get a hard on from that thought but I don't get an autonomous sexual response from just the physical subject himself. I'm never like "Oh fuck yeah that guy's so hot."

With women I'll just get boners and can't help myself but can't imagine myself being with them or really having any desire to do anything with them.

It makes me think that maybe I'm straight but by some weird psychological fuckery I'm making myself want to be with men or something and I'm not like legitimately gay.
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>>5603164
Oh shit that was you? Dude I laughed so hard when I first saw that.
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>>5603159
that quote's kinda out of context. I'm not sure what your meaning is.
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>>5603188
>It seems like a dumb definition to me.
Listen, I've wasted many (You)s making factual statements that are based on reality, but if you want to go ahead and call green eyes brown, please do.
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>>5602887
Shhh. Stop thinking that much. It won't make a difference after all. If you like someone, just go for him/her. Who cares. Heterosexuality is a a relatively new concept and you're just a horny human being.
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>>5603203
You keep trying to make it seem like your definition of sexuality is somehow rolled up into the fabric of the universe. These terms only came about in like the 1600's.

You can put me in these artificial definitions but it doesn't get me closer to understanding what the fuck is going on.
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>>5603152
Yeah, this is the definition I've accepted.

I go to a club and stare at all the beautiful women, hoping to take one home. I love women and have dated many, enjoyed plenty of sex with them. Could only see myself marrying a woman.

But then, I sometimes want to submit to a dude with a big dick. I've sucked one dick, and though it wasn't as good as being with a woman, I still enjoyed it. So, 1 guy for every 20 or so women, but I'm still technically "bi".
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>>5603194
lol those threads were fun
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>>5603216
These are not 'artificial' definitions, nor are they abstract. These are real, many-times observed. You like some guys and some girls, you are bisexual. There is nothing else you need to 'understand', it's only that you haven't accepted this.

You can't give me gravy and tell me it's jelly 'cause gravy ain't sweet!
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>>5603246
You know, long before the notion of modern sexuality, sodomy was considered something similar to masturbation, just a conduct. And it was forbidden because that conduct can be propagated easily. That's why modern religions forbids homosexuality, because they have that notion, the sodomitic notion, rooted on their dogma.
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>>5603188

Oh my god. Because fantasizing about having sex/being in a relationship with individuals of your same gender (and being ok with it) is a totally *straight person* thing. Suuuure.

Lame as you may think it is, what >>5603152 said is correct; as long as you experience attraction towards at least one girl and one boy, you're bi and that's it.

So congratz? Consider this your Bi Club card.
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>>5603260
Nigga what are you trying to tell me? What the fuck do you want me to say??

ITS OKAY ANON YOU ARE NOT A FUCKING FAGGOT IF YOU LIKE BOYS!!!! But you like boys, so you are not a heterosexual man.
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>>5603246
>These are not 'artificial' definitions

Eh, that sounds like a vague and pointless discussion to have to begin with.

>nor are they abstract

Gender is a pretty abstract concept, even if it is based on actual human perception and ideas, so it might not be itself abstract, but it still is related to abstract ideas.


The thing is, you're right, but your observations are also incomplete and unhelpful. The definition of "liking some girls and liking some guys" does not mean anything because it does it denote any point in time. When you say, you like some girls and some guys, are you referring to the sum total of all preceding forms of attraction? Or do you refer to your potential of being attracted to others? If it's the latter, then you cannot really know your sexual attraction, since there maybe be a case where you encounter a person of one gender or another that you are attracted to despite usually not being attracted to them. If it's the former, then it does not accurately describe your actual orientation, since your sexual orientation shifts throughout your entire human development, either in minor or major ways.
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>>5603188
A lot of 'straight' men but actually bisexual men are the same as you but in reverse. It's why they have the relationship and kids with the girl but get a bit of cock on the side.
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>>5603188
That's why a lot of people distinguish between homo/andro/gyno -romantic and -sexual.
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Homosexuality and heterosexuality are behaviors. Gay and straight are identities rooted in the reading of social mores onto sexual behaviors. They exist because we live in an industrial society where people can live such lifestyles, and where such lifestyles are designated 'other' in the social hierarchy. You can take a dick without acting like a fag, but there is no 'cock fetish'. Its ok to admit that you have homosexual leanings.
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>>5603364
>Homosexuality and heterosexuality are behaviors

You don't have to have sex with men to be gay.
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