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So HRT didn't change much about me physically...
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You are currently reading a thread in /lgbt/ - Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender

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So HRT didn't change much about me physically but it changed me much otherwise like I never knew how terrifying loneliness is, how much I hate it and how much I yearn for a dick and be real close to a man. It sucks it's not the other way around with any physical changes occurring because I feel like going crazy, at least with T everything was predictable and easy like operating a toaster. How other socially retarded ppl here cope with being alone all the time?
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Were you homosexual before HRT, or just a sissy?
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>>5600173
Not exactly socially retarded by any stretch, but my transition so far has accomplished much the same thing emotionally. I have never felt like I needed someone else before, but I crave a romantic and sexual partner pretty badly, now. I've been spending a lot of time with my best friends and taking care of kids lately, and that closeness has done wonders, but I think I'll break down and start looking for someone soon anyhow. In four months, for sure.

Do you have friends who are at least somewhat open to physical affection between friends? Because that's very appeasing.
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>>5600190
I was closeted gay but pretty straight passing. I was called a faggot in high school only twice or three times tbqhon.
>>5600334
Nope. I knew one nerdy beta guy but he actually rejected me when I made a move on him. He said he is scared of being seen as "gay."
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>>5600173
Yes, female hormones can change your feelings. It happened with me too...
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>>5600173
yeah...i've been increasingly desperate for having someone
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>>5600173
Take thingsoneday at a time. Youre thinking of being forever alone and worried about not living a fulfilling life right? Im going thru the same thing and the search for a partner has taken over my life in the past few weeks.

Depression and self pity/hatred and body dysphoria rears its head whenever I dont get who I want. But life ismore than such pursuits, anon. If you want to attract partners, ask yourself what are the things that would bring you themost joy, then devote your day to that love, not just seeking to be loved (at least dont obsess about it).
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>>5600396
I meant less "putting moves on" and more... cuddling, or other forms of non-sexual physical intimacy.

God I hate that PUA-speak has infected everyone on this dumb Unregisted Iranian Sand-hocking Club.
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>>5600496
Doesn't matter, all chances at intimacy whether sexual or non-sexual died with him.
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>>5600522
Then you've just got to grind social experience. It sucks, but meeting people is all you can do if no one you know is supportive in that way. Being alone won't work for you in the long run. We need more robust human contact.

Body pillows are a valid but deeply unsatisfying substitute. You get a "body" to hold, but you're still longing. Like the physical intimacy equivalent of Chrono Trigger's Enertron. A dog or cat would be better still.
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>>5600173

>like I never knew how terrifying loneliness is

I wouldn't say terrifying, but I know that feel.

>I have never felt like I needed someone else before, but I crave a romantic and sexual partner pretty badly, now.
from >>5600334 describes it better for me.

>and how much I yearn for a dick and be real close to a man

I really know that feel. I used to think the guys on /r9k/ were dumbass faggots for being sad about not having girlfriends, but now I feel sad because I don't have a boyfriend. The irony is palpable. And St. Valentine's Day is coming up soon so I might be even sadder, which is why I imagine you made this thread. Out of 22 Valentine's days, this will be the first I will lament being alone.

I deal with the loneliness by making shitposts like >>5599208, >>5601077, >>5601081, >>5599743, >>5601095. The story posts like the greentext post ending in 77 make me a bit sad, but they also make me a bit happy when I imagine myself as the girl in these short things. I also plan on alleviating the feeling by making a 6'4" teddy bear for myself for cuddling and sleeping next to. I chose a height of 6'4" because that's roughly the height of a man proportional to my own height (5'10"). At least I have two sewing machines, but I don't know a thing about sewing. I want to also improve my drawing ability and maybe do a drawn project of my idea of an ideal life as a way of mourning that.
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>>5600173
>>5601404

>Around the time of the onset of my loneliness
>I asked my little brother to hug me so I could feel something like what it might be like to be held without telling him why. But I didn't think it would be satisfactory because I'm the tallest of my parent's kids
>He didn't want to, and he had always been reluctant to reciprocate any affection with me
>I keep asking him to do it as he keeps telling me no, eventually he gives in
>Got so excited I started making small hops, wanting him to get off the bed faster because he was really dragging his ass
>The fat sperg decided to ruin it and give me pain with a tight bear hug and lift me off the floor
>It was even worse because he squeezed my budding breasts against his chest
>I would have asked my skinny brother since he's not a dumbass but even shorter, but he was with his girlfriend at the time
>I decided to smell the first brother I mentioned a while later (weeks or months) and I was surprised at how good he smelled

>>5600396

>tfw no nerdy, beta boy to be a mommy gf to

I could deal with the no boyfriend and no child feeling with one stone.
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>>5601404
>I wouldn't say terrifying
Not OP, but when you're looking at the prospect of getting 2 or 3 surgeries real soon all on your own, terrifying is pretty spot on.

If not for that I cry every other night cause I got noone's arms to fall asleep in.
Couldn't care less about a dick even, but inbetween all this change I'll never find someone and this year is gonna be one endless nightmare...

pic related, I just wanna nope the hell out.
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>>5601435

>but when you're looking at the prospect of getting 2 or 3 surgeries real soon all on your own, terrifying is pretty spot on.

That sucks, anon. I didn't even think about that.
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>>5601681
I'm fucking scared ;_;
This just can't go well.
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>>5601770

All of them are separate procedures that will require general anesthesia each?
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>>5602096
Yep. VFS, FFS and SRS, although it's not sure yet whether I can get SRS within this year.

All in different countries and all will leave me extremely sore and handicapped.
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>>5602108

I thought VFS and SRS were performed under local anesthesia? You will be fine, anon. How did you even manage paying for all of this?
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