[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / biz / c / cgl / ck / cm / co / d / diy / e / fa / fit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mu / n / news / o / out / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vip /vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y ] [Search | Home]
4Archive logo
When is it Gay / Bi / HOCD / Fetish
If images are not shown try to refresh the page. If you like this website, please disable any AdBlock software!

You are currently reading a thread in /lgbt/ - Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender

Thread replies: 3
Thread images: 2
File: Jdjaixofkwapd.jpg (37 KB, 500x386) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
Jdjaixofkwapd.jpg
37 KB, 500x386
So I'll just lay my situation out. I just can never seem to be "happy"

I've always saw myself as liking girls all my life all the way down to the first crush on the playground. But due to my life I bounced around a lot growing up with divorced parents who lived in different states, but they made it work they best they could. I just never can let myself get close to anyone it seems. My childhood best friends I rejected saying I couldn't play with them when they sought out my house cause they saw me at school, but my brother let them in anyways saying we weren't doing anything and they ended up being good childhood friends.

Then into puberty, I was always uncomfortable around any type of sexual talk and tried to avoid it. Also got annoyed with classmates saying they've done all this shit and they were clearly virgins. We all were. So it all just seem dumb and uncomfortable.

My first remembered masturbatory was with a vacuum because I saw it in a movie or something and was like "I can put that on my dick?" I could liken the experience to a seizure, but pleasurable enough to keep pulling me back. I couldn't wait to wash the patents car because I could let the vaccume suck me off in the backseat of the car. So this was probably 7th-8th grade. Then I discovered lotion and that was it. Looking at brothers porn mags and vids and then I was lucky enough to grow up right when the internet was booming.

All through highschool I always had those crushes but was too shy, insecure to make any moves so I was left in silence. One girl who would be my first girlfriend years later after college we sat in a theater and rubbed legs and it was pretty awesome it turned me on, but I was paralyzed outside that. (1/2)
>>
File: Cf see fj.jpg (61 KB, 600x450) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
Cf see fj.jpg
61 KB, 600x450
Then I went to college right after high school. I just had to keep moving. I couldn't stay still. In college was the first time I thought I could be gay. My roommates and friend s were all in a car and someone jokingly said let's place bets on who will turn gay first. And after that the seed was planted and added to my insecurities.

So porn began to loose its luster and then I began just focusing on cocks. Thick, cut, uncut, bareback and it soon became my preferred way to jack off, but afterwards I would always feel guilty and disgusted.

Now fast forward I've grown and been able to find someone that I love and plan on marrying but I still have the cock fetish but it just goes that far, but it makes me doubt. "Are you suuuure" because of my lack of happiness is life. "Oh it has to be my sexual orientation" but if I did decide to come out it would just throw my life into chaos and would be a complete 180 of what I feel I am.

My lack of happiness makes me question my sexuality.

How did you know? I'm 28 and I feel that I would have known already. I support all gray rights and have gay friends and have hung out with gay people and never got any urges. In those moments I felt comfort that I was fine. But when I am in my own confines of my head I get doubt. (2/2)
>>
>>5581205
Quit porn and fapping for a few months and clear your head, the answer should come
Thread replies: 3
Thread images: 2
Thread DB ID: 441917



[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / biz / c / cgl / ck / cm / co / d / diy / e / fa / fit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mu / n / news / o / out / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vip /vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y] [Search | Home]

[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / biz / c / cgl / ck / cm / co / d / diy / e / fa / fit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mu / n / news / o / out / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vip /vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y] [Search | Home]

All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.
This is a 4chan archive - all of the shown content originated from that site. This means that 4Archive shows their content, archived. If you need information for a Poster - contact them.
If a post contains personal/copyrighted/illegal content, then use the post's [Report] link! If a post is not removed within 24h contact me at [email protected] with the post's information.