How dangerous is self-medding?
I really don't want to come out to anybody. I'm just stepping foot into my late twenties. I have good genes. I constantly get made fun of by bros for looking womanly and [not often] get mistaken for one and i'm in boymode. i think im not quite as passable as im making it out to be in reality though.
I want to be on hrt for as long as possible before coming out. Basically... to see if it would do anything for me. To get me where I wished I was. I'm just scared of getting caught in a genderless gross body because i judge hons so harshly and i would blow my brains out if i wake up at 35 in nightmare mode with no gender to run to.
tl;dr: How hard is self-medding? Whats the longest you were on hrt before coming out? Would it be hard to pass as a man once im deep in?
Honestly, you sound like you're at the same point I am. I'm about to start hormones real soon. As long as you get blood tests, self medding is actually pretty safe. All doctors do is check your hormone levels then prescribe more or less depending on what you need. You can just do the same yourself.
The serious advice I have to give is mixed in three categories:
1. While there are real risks to self-medding, those risks are mainly due to multiple different risk factors snowballing (don't smoke, don't be an alcoholic, buy from internet pharmacies instead of black market, etc) or stupid mistakes (no you don't need to take 20 pills a day, you dumbass).
2. You really should get under a doctor's supervision, solely for the bloodwork that can help to ensure that it's working as intended and you aren't one of the 0.001% that HRT totally fucks up your liver or something. A good informed consent doctor will understand if you aren't out yet. Like >>5579713 said, you don't have to be out to get HRT.
3. If you are going to self-med, start slow. Do some actual research, and I don't mean asking randos on 4chan. Figure out what meds are available and get a steady supply, since withdrawls on HRT are a bitch, no pun intended.Also, don't think it'll be a panacea. If it's right for you, it'll help your moods, and it'll get your body started going in the right direction. If it isn't right for you, you'll know and can typically stop well before effects become permanent.
>How hard is self-medding?
As for the how-to: It's easy. Get some HRT meds (it's been over a decade since I self-medded, but you should be able to find some pharmacy that's "inhouse" and you can buy meds from) and take them.
>Whats the longest you were on hrt before coming out?
Depends on what you mean. I was out before I started self-medding, but I wasn't living full-time until a few months in.
>Would it be hard to pass as a man once im deep in?
Physically hard to pass? Not really. Unless you hit the genetic lottery and get super-fast growth or something, the initial body changes will be easy to hide for at least a year, though you'll start noticing, say, breast growth after about three months. If you mean mentally? Many folks find it tougher to hide things as they start being true to themselves.
Self-medder here, no blood tests either
I'm taking 2mg estrofem and 100mg spiro twice a day, it's been almost three months now, still no hope of pass although i'm only 17, fulltime or any of that sweet shit, just cone-shaped gyno.
I also smoke and vape, and on occasions drink alcohol till i pass out.
How fucked am i?
thanks for all of this.
will you explain the moods thing? thats an aspect thats really leaving with a lot of speculation. i kind fear something like implants or anything facial will leave me actually waving red flags im trans as opposed to just relying on fat distribution. i know those are farther down the line things because hrt is first... but what if the hrt effected my moods to the point where i was totally content doing that alone...
so how does hrt effect moods and mentality? could you be really specific or anyone else that could comment on that?
i have depression that leaves me pretty crippled every 8 months or so. wild mood swings when my blood sugar is fucked. you think that would play a role?
i know thats a lot thank you for whatever you could comment on
>I really don't want to come out to anybody
>want to start self medding hrt.
>hrt feminizes appearance...boobs...etc.
>I DONT WANT TO COME OUT
fuck sake op just fucking come out or else you will wind up in your 30's hating life and eventually blow your brains out.
dont selfmed either. dumbfuck.
>so how does hrt effect moods and mentality?
To be incredibly vague, you are going to have more emotions than before. You know how the tired stereotype is about women getting emotional around that time of the month? To be more specific, changes to your hormonal balance are going to result in more extreme happy and sad feelings, and (if it's "right for you") having a more appropriate body chemistry-to-mind balance will also make your calms deeper. The specific changes to your mood may vary, but this part:
>i have depression that leaves me pretty crippled every 8 months or so
is a red flag to me. If you don't already have a therapist you go to regularly, get one before going on HRT for this reason alone. HRT may help with your depression (especially if said depression is rooted in dysphoria), but a mood swing could be a critical failure if paired with crippling depression. Besides, your therapist may be able to refer you to an endo anyway, rendering this whole self-med thing moot.