>be me, born female
>has felt bouts of dysphoria which seem to have left me
>has had dreams where I have a dick and am dressed masculine
>has trained my already low voice down so I can sound more androgynous
>prefers to have short hair and a gender neutral appearance so no one can tell what's in my pants
I've been reading up on "nonbinary" and "genderqueer" stuff and can't figure out if its even a real thing. If it was, I guess thats what I'd be but jfc i wish I wasnt this confused.
how fucked up am I?
do you feel good by being who you are right now? if you are then just keep doing what youre doing. if not then talk to a therapist maybe?
I just got a buzzed hair cut for the first time (number five clipper on top, number two on the sides) and I love it, its the first time I've ever truly felt as androgynous as I want to look. But I just don't feel I'm completely a girl.
I really wish I could find some proof that non-binary is a real thing outside of tumblr because that describes how I'm feeling and thinking of myself. A lot of people on this board seem to be against it tho.
I think so too, I don't subscribe to the idea of "gender is a social construct" because I feel it alienates (binary) trans and cis people, like their identities don't fucking matter because "lolnope social construct, sorry!"
Besides if gender were really a construct, wouldn't we have abolished it by now like we did old-time gender roles? Would we even be having this discussion right now? There would be no assumed "binary"
just be who you are, in the end it doesnt really matter if something "exists" or not. scientifically, the whole non binary thing hasnt really been looked at. its cool that youre doing things which make you feel better as a person. if you ever feel like its not enough you can always see a therapist and look into hrt though its a lifelong process to you have to be completely sure.
Because a majority of it comes from kids on tumblr and most of what I've read and watched about it seems to me like feel-good fluffiness rather than science and biology to back it up. I've seen valid arguement for and against it being a thing, but I remain neutral in my stance for the time being.
I really want to believe non-binary is real but a lot of tumblr kids make it look like some edgy trend to not identify with the gender on your birth certificate...that doesn't sit right with me
nonbinary is not a thing, and gender identity doesn't work on a spectrum.
Either you want to be female, or you want to be male. There's no 3rd gender, and there aren't really any inbetweens, since deformations and such doesn't count.
I used to be in your position pretty much (my dysphoria never really went away, I just got better at managing/ignoring it). I transitioned to male and am much happier with my body and appearance now.
I never felt like "a man trapped in a woman's body" so for a long time I thought that meant I wasn't trans. But I'm definitely trans... I feel more comfortable in a male body and male presentation, and being/looking male eliminates my dysphoria. That means I'm a man. You don't have to "feel like" a man in order to be FTM.
Not saying that's necessarily what's holding you back... but I see a lot of my own process in what you're describing here and that's definitely what was holding me back when I was questioning.
I know how you feel. Born female, too, still have bouts of dysphoria, try to look as androgynous as possible (my body and voice do not allow much, but I'm trying), don't mind being called a woman or wearing feminine clothes yet wish my body would be different, not having a dick when it has to be there is painful. I thought about the non-binary genders, but unless they are somewhat accepted and seen as a real deal in society I will just live as female and do what makes me comfortable, maybe think about seeing a therapist if my dysphoria gets worse.
If i end up concluding that I'm "non-binary"I probably will just keep it to myself in case its not widely accepted. I dont care to be accepted, I don't expect for people to except me, and I don't need other people's acceptance. my reason for wanting to know if non-binary is real is because I don't want (binary) trans folk to think I am making a mockery of them in case its not real. I care deeply for my trans friends, I would never want to hurt them.
Me neither. I have a close trans friend who believes in non-binary genders, and he encouraged me to accept myself as non-binary. Still, I try not to bring this up if I don't know how people might react, because yeah, someone might feel disrespected, and I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. I'm not even sure if it's a real thing, myself, but what I feel like seems to fit the description.
OK. I'll play along.
It appears that there is a neurological component in gender identity. There's a vague idea of how that comes to pass, and an indicator that surfaces in fully-matured brains, but the details are still pretty few in number.
Knowing what you know about biological processes, would you find it credible if someone informed you that this process always perfectly and uniformly produces one of two unambiguously distinct results?
People make such claims about biology regularly. They're not right.
If I tell you I am a nonbinary, transqueer or whatever will it change the way you feel?
You don't have to "believe" anything or anyone, a term is just a term
I'm a cis lesbian and use to not believe my orientation was legit because I thought lesbians didn't exist, I felt sexual attraction yet I didn't believe myself, looking back at it I realise that was absolutely dumb
>A lot of people on this board seem to be against it tho.
To sum it up people on this site are against anything but their own asses (except transexuals, they are also against their own asses)
It's obvious you worry a lot about how people perceive you, so you must be a teenager, you're shaping yourself right now so it'll sort itself out eventually don't worry
As a baby you learned the difference between men and women before you learned how to understand language.
You thought you were a boy, until you started learning to speak and people called you a girl.
>You thought you would be treated like a boy.
>People keep treating you like a girl.
>You start dressing/acting more like a boy
>You keep thinking you are a dude.
Am I right dude?
>bouts of dysphoria
It tends to come in waves for me. I remember, for example, I was around 15- had really bad dysphoria and didn't shower for weeks at a time. Then, it just stopped- no dysphoria for six months, I forget about dysphoria even being a thing and convince myself i'm crazy as opposed to trans. Usually, for me, dysphoria comes out more the more stress I have to endure/ if I am having mental health problems it gets worse.
> dreams where I have a dick and am dressed masculine
I consider that a sign, at least for me, that I must be ftm
>trained my already low voice down so I can sound more androgynous
>short hair and a gender neutral appearance
You can ID as non-binary. You're obviously transgender because you have dysphoria, if you don't want to fit into the male/female box that's fine, there are expectations of both genders that people mentally associate to other people. Non binary is just a label stating "I do not perform gender or adhere by traditional gender roles or standards" + "am possibly dysphoric trans". People ID as it who are not trans whatsoever, those people are obnoxious.
But the thing is, you can still ID as ftm and not adhere to gender roles or standards. You can interpret gender labels however you want, masculinity is the state of being masculine as constructed by men. All of these fad neo genders enforce that masculinity/femininity are quantifiable lables that have rules and standards, and anyone who falls short of these requirements is sent to the third gender category. Gender is much more fluid than this neo gender system dictates.
What really matters here is your mental health and wellbeing, OP. Perhaps seek out a gender therapist or read books and internet resources on gender and queer theory. If you think you might be "transgender" (which you are I think because you have dysphoria) It might even be worth having people recognize you as non binary and neutral pronouns if that makes you more comfortable.
OP don't worry about that stuff, just be reasonable and flirt with whoever you want to flirt with and for god's sake eat right and stay in shape
and if this goofiness gets really intense in some way then talk about it with somebody you think you can trust, and who you have MET IN PERSON (unlike us fools and trolls on 4chan) or at least spoken with on the phone
What evidence do you have to support your claim?
I don't believe such things exist, and unless you've actually done some science and able to produce some repeatable results I'm not going to believe your claims.
Just be a normal guy instead of a retard.
No problem. I have gone through similar mindfuck regarding gender id label bullshit.
I should probably also note if you didn't realize this previously: check your sources when it comes to transgender theory, especially if you're just using google. Most of the "non binary resources" online are run by actual autistic people, their social analysis are often quite stereotyped. Tumblr gender culture & truscum are both extremes that both sort of miss the point.
Unrelated yet related to the issues of identity politics; there is a cultural movement that has been in the works for many years... part of the transhumanist movement. Read this essay: http://ieet.org/archive/IEET-03-PostGender.pdf