Haven't seen one of these in awhile
Pic not really related
I'll start I suppose
>be faggot in high school
>not out of closet but I guess it was apparent I wasn't like other boys
>more effeminate etc.
>usually take longest to change after gym class so not to get boner in front of everyone
>one day it's just me in locker room
>one of the jocks comes in
>"hey I've scene you looking at me"
>"don't try to hide it"
>he gets real close
>can feel the tension rising
>will this be my first kiss?
>lean in for it
>"HOLY SHIT! ANON REALLY IS A FAG!"
>suddenly all his friends burst through the door with a phone
>they all laugh
>get harassed for rest of high school
>still haven't gotten that first kiss
Hopefully someone has a better story
Don't let me be the only one to tell a story
>first tell someone i wanted to be a girl when i was 12 at a camp i went too
>meet a cute girl there (year older) who i fancied the shit out of
> they ended up chasing a really masculine dude there
>at the time i looked like pic related (me when i was 11)
>Think being a girl is stupid, and that i'll never get a gf cause girls like boys
>I make a conscious decision to never tell anyone that i'm trans
>(plus i was bullied the shit out of for being girly by dickheads at school)
>after a few years of depression/repression, i turned into an emo kid and later on end up dating the girl i liked
>i was a douchebag and we broke up
>later on she finds out she was a lesbian and likes girls after all.
>i sink deeper and deeper into repression and keep dating het girls and gay guys.
>20 at uni, decide to finally transition after years of testosterone destroying my once girly looking self
>I later do something i'll probably regret for the rest of my life, and the girl i like knows about it and feels like she can't trust me any more.
>She says she can never see being with me
>A while later we eventually get to a point where she can trust me
>i go visit here (22 at this point) with a friend with the plan of chilling out and watching anime
>friend leaves room, me and her start making out
>memories of being with her flood back
>i'm now in tears and i rush to the bathroom to clean myself up, freaking the fuck out cause i'm usually good at hiding my emotions before hormones
>I come back in, and we have a conversation by text next to each other whilst our friend is in the room
>we both decide it's best to not get together
>a while later i'm trying to move on and i find a 42 year old guy okcupid who's an artist and is really beautiful with his words.
>We talk for ages and everything is great.
>feel like this is it.
>We arrange to meet and i've never felt more confident about a date before
>just before i go to meet him i get a text from the girl
>'We need to talk'
>We talk on fb
>she says that she wants to be with and that she was stupid for saying that it wouldn't work
>We talk it out and now we're together again
>we have an awesome relationship and still with her now
>we communicate really well
>she understands when i cry during sex sometimes cause of dysphoria
>not embarrassed to be around me, or for people to know that i'm trans
>totally sees me as a girl now
>Finally found an ounce of happiness in my life
Yeah so that's my story
>mtf trans in denial
>always been effeminate as fuck but never showed it unless I slipped
>everyone leaves for whole day to a wedding
>don't go because seeing women dressed up made me want to an hero
>plan to dress up all day
>shave whole body 2wice and use moms super nice body lotion
>had a bag of my female cousins clothes I intercepted at a donation bin a few years before
>wash the outfit all nice
>oh shit a knocking at the door
>throw on guy clothes
>best friend comes over
>let him in like always
>he goes to my room
>we turn on Vice City and play for a bit taking turns when one gets wasted
>his turn again
>tell him I will make lunch like I always do for him
>it was always my thing I enjoyed the most for some strange reason, serving him food made me feel good
>had an idea
>went to moms room and finished putting on full makeup and brushing my long hair and using product in it ( I always wore a baseball cap to hide my hair usually)
>got dressed, even with some of mom's jewelry and heels
>felt just happy and a peace
>skipped to kitchen
>grilled some hot dogs and did them all up and put them on dads food tray
>double checked myself in mirror
>grabbed tray and walked to my door
>not even nervous
>he says "come in its your fucking room"
>I throw the door open with one foot and I have the tray in my hand
>he doesn't notice me
>I set the tray down on his lap from behind
>I stand back at the door way and tell him to look at me
>his jaw dropped and he threw himself up off the chair
>he looked me up and down and said "what the fuck faggot? why are you dressed like that? take that shit off now or I will never talk to you."
>b...but its me, you friend don't be mean I just wanted to show you the real me
>he got right in my face and punched me in the gut and I dropped to the floor
>he left and flipped the tray of food all over my room
>he never talked to me again and moved several states over 2 weeks after the incident
never cried so hard
Not that guy, but possibly because confronting your friend who doesn't know you're trans dressed as a girl is probably the least sensitive way to break it to someone in the history of anything.
>Why? I mean why would it be such a big deal to find out your guy friend wants to be a girl?
Well, for one thing, transgender has only recently become a known thing. Your friend probably thought you were some freak fetishist or wanted to 'trick' men into having sex with you. Second off, approaching a guy who's in your room, on your bed, while you're dressed in women's clothing seems really fucking weird.
Because lots of people have issues with that, especially in the US? Because people have views of people they know, which in your case would not have included 'wanting to be a girl' since you were /keeping it secret/ and when you vastly change your identity in people's minds, it's a shock? And should be broken gently? Because he was in your bedroom, which is fine if it's a dude friend but super fucking weird if it's someone who might want to fuck you? Because you approached him FROM BEHIND and in that combination of circumstances triggered all the fucking 'my friend was secretly gay/tranny/whatever and interested in me/tried to rape me' stories and shit (some of which are totally true) he'd ever heard?
I literally cannot think of a worse way to tell your friend you're trans.
you didn't know me and him, sure I never showed him my feminine side but for 8 years we were in my room toghether at least 4 hours out of every day just playing or talking, we were both home schooled since before and during high school so we never were apart, we even fapped together, though we never lifted the covers.
Seeing meaning in activities that other people don't see that meaning in, and not ever trying to CONFIRM that meaning or otherwise make sure you aren't just imagining it, is pretty much the hallmark of being on the spectrum.
I still don't get what was so wrong about it, if he could have accepted me we would be married by now. If I was a girl he would have loved me.
That doesn't mean he's ready for his dude friend to walk in dressed like a women, immediately expecting him to accept you.
Jesus Christ, if someone did that to me, I think I would've stormed out, too.
When you finally stop repressing, that liberation high can make you want to begin expressing yourself as yourself right that instant. You're short on fear, and fear of censure is a big contributor to "common sense". It's a very sad story, and Kayla would not need to be on the spectrum to have made that misstep. But it is a misstep. Transition is surprising, even if it's left just an abstract. A person's first indication probably shouldn't be the one Kayla gave, ever.
Autistic or no, this is denial. It may have felt like the right thing to do, but you have to somehow move past that and accept that it most certainly was not.
There shouldn't be a stygma surrounding being trans.
But there is.
Friends shouldn't let their insecurities make them cruel to one another.
But they do.
I'm sorry to hear you're not making new friends, Kayla. Good luck, and keep trying. Being trans is hard enough without being lonely-trans.
>Went to kindergarten in Germany
>Used to play with barbies all the time
>Turns out I'm gay, not sure how tell my parents, but I have a feeling they already know from the dolls
>A lot of my friends insist that if you think your parents know, they know
>Apparently I went to a progressive kindergarten and my teachers told my parents it's okay for boys to play with dolls and not end up gay because it simply means they're exploring humanity through toys
damn, do you guys really get that horny?
>be 11 years old, unraveling sexuality/start of puberty etc.
>have a friend who's really gay, the kind that starts crying when you say mean things to him
>we play GTA and go to the hookers
>I get a boner
>he suddenly says "oh you're hard too, it's okay I already know what yours looks like"
>11-year-old me doesn't really grasp what's going on
>later that evening we suck each others cocks
>the next day he's really happy. I'm kind of fazed and didn't know what happened
>he puts his arm around my neck and tells me how great friends we are
>I get flustered and push him away
>I repress my gayness for the following 5 years
>no one ever interested in me, see class mates having relationships on and off
>when high school ends I start working
>at 23 at my parents house they ask if I'm gay since I've never had a gf or brought anyone home
>say yes, and then we never talk about it again
>still no friends or relationship at 28
And that's all
This story changes every time you tell it Kayla.
>H-hey bro, want some hotdogs? *revs dirtbike*
>As a child, I loved playing with my sister. She put me in dresses. However, I quickly learned my role as a boy, that wearing dresses was wrong.
>I grew up normally as a boy, wanting to be a man, but I always had this curiosity in the back of my mind of what the alternate gender was like.
>Still, I felt as if I was being shut out from girl world, not being one of them.
>I was aggressive, but not masculine; I didn't follow the other boys or like the things they liked. I was angry and violent, but not a sportsperson.
>My father was abusive, my mother loving. She died when I was 11. My father went off the rails.
>I learned to hate myself and envisioned a perfect version of me berating me.
>I entered foster care.
>I had a crush on a girl. A roommate told me to see her as a person, not a girl. I started to think from womens' point of views, try to be fair.
>I thought more about life as a girl. As a boy, I had a very distinct style and I already knew what I would wear as a woman.
>As a high schooler, I imagined my girlfriend being a female version of me. I had even had dreams of this faceless woman.
>At age 17, I ran away from home and slept on couches. I realized how much I wanted to be a woman. Dysphoria begins.
>I am now a that woman, haunted by the man who I've switched places with.
I tried to realize that they were just people as well, with feelings and problems and goals and fears. I also tried to imagine how I would react to the differences of being a woman, periods, culture, they way people treat you, wanting different things, etc.
>be in highschool
>one day used cocaïne at home
>some how ended watching k pop
>see korean guy
>thinking by myself i would bang
>suddenly freaks out because i couldnt believe it
moral of the story cocaïne made me realise i'm faggot
>Lol Europe is a bunch of pussy cucks.
Look who's talking shit, the US literally imported thousands of niggers so they could have a nation wide several hundred year 24/7 Master/Slave raceplay BDSM roleplay. You need to get some perspective.
>be in high school
>confused as fuck
>hit on male best friend
>says not gay
>girl AND guy I like get together
>4 years of high school hell
>end up getting married (woman)
>tolerate lgbt fags before it's cool
>never come out
>rarely get called a homo for not being homo/transphobic
>never get defensive over it
>keep near-tinfoil levels of security of my possessions and computer data
>avoid the spotlight throughout school --some people don't even remember that i existed
>nobody really ever genuinely suspects that i'm anything out of the norm
And so it shall probably stay until years after I'm gone and someone finally finds my password on the post-it note behind the light switch in my room.
Even then, it's a stretch to say that they would care.
To put it darkly, I suppose not. I was a young boy, girls were alien to me. I don't think my unempathetic view was uncommon.
Is my story really that odd? Don't most trans people feel any sort of dissociation through this dramatic change? i don't have DID, but I can't help but feel this split; I don't feel like the same person changed; I feel like two.
I got DID really bad between 17-18. I was under a lot of stress and i split up with a girl i was dating at the time and repressed a lot of shit and it all just came fucking tumbling down on me and it felt like i wasn't even living in my body any more and like i was just watching some dude perform tasks that i told him too through a monitor or something. That shit was fucking horrible. I'm not sure if it's a common experience among trans girls or whatever but, it had a lot to do with repressing trans feelings that's for sure.
By the way i'm >>5543288
>Soph in college
>live off campus
>citymouse.jpg unfazed by gay roomate
>who is into BDSM
>get cut from work early, of course walk in on him facefucking a dude whos trussed up pretty good.
>Sock onna door or something, man?
>You next, anon? *winky-wink*
>Uhhhhh no, Scurry from room. Hide in bedroom.
>week later let myself get caught naked heading to bathroom
>yes i'm that lame str8fag now
>he goes easy on me and doesn't cum in my mouth
>be me as youngfag
>went over ex's house and she gets this idea to style my long hair and do my makeup
>already pretty andro as fuck at this point
>she does it and holy fuck I'm actually pretty aside from my dude clothes
>my friends are all fucking weirdos, so this is nothing new for them
>me and best friend steal a pack of cigarettes from his mom
>sit behind the house smoking, chillin
>decide to go home
>make up is still intact
>put on grils clothes and take a zillion pictures for /b/ when trap threads weren't cancer
>suddenly mid selfie my mother is screaming my name
>panic, run to bathroom to wash it off
>"get the fuck down here"
>come downstairs with eyeliner running
>she looks at me, tell her gf did my make up and all she can make out is "WHHHYYY"
>apparently my friend narcd on me for the cigarettes and his mom called
>lied my way out of it
>she calms down and laughs afterwards
>told me I looked very pretty the next day
23 now and me and my mom still laugh about it. Hinted I was trans to her last year, and she genuinely doesn't care.
It's hidden specifically so it can be found.
I don't like the idea of my thoughts vanishing with me.
It's unlikely anyone would be interested, but if they are, they are more than welcome to see everything I did once I'm dead.