Indulge my curiosity, how did you figure out that you're trans? What age were you when you came to this conclusion? What did you do next? Is there some kind of test for this/did you seek a second opinion for affirmation? How do you really know beyond the abstract notion of 'feeling' a certain gender? Not intending to offend, just genuinely curious.
Started with a sissy diaper fetish, got tired of diapers and moved on to panties. Eventually ended up buying girl clothes and found out about sissy hypno porn. Got so addicted to porn that it literally became a part of my emotions, was jerking off 4-5 times a day. Somehow ended up seeing myself as the female in sexual situations and men entered the picture.... eventually got to the point where I had to become a girl or commit suicide. This was all in the span of age 21-22.
Always felt vaguely uncomfortable but didn't know why. Learned about trans people from the internet around 17. Started reading tons of books about it telling myself that I was merely interested in the topic, when I actually felt extreme jealousy and longing reading the biographies of trans people who described their changes on HRT. Thought more and more how I would like to do that. Was very confused, took me three years to finally and fully admit I was trans and wanted to transition.
>>5531433 >Indulge my curiosity, how did you figure out that you're trans? It's not a quick or easy story for any trans person I don't think. For most of us it's an entire lifetime of feelings and experiences that led up to it.
My tl;dr: I was born female and was always a tomboy. As a kid I dressed in boys clothes, played exclusively with boys, roughhoused a lot, etc. I even stuffed my underwear in private. When I was 15ish I started getting bad body dysphoria. I felt awful about everything female about my body. I was a hot girl but my body felt disgusting and uncomfortable, like it didn't belong to me. I cut off all my hair and started dressing in loose, androgynous clothes that hid the shape of my body. I dated a submissive bisexual guy who let me take the masculine role in the relationship, which was good because the thought of someone touching me sexually horrified me.
Throughout all this I had no idea that trans men existed. So I basically just sucked it up and dealt with it for the next decade. In my late 20s the dysphoria started getting bad again so one day I decided to google ways to hide my chest. Instead I found a bunch of info about trans guys. The rest was basically history. It kicked off about a year-long questioning period and eventually I transitioned.
>What age were you when you came to this conclusion? 27
>What did you do next? I came out to my friends and started therapy.
>Is there some kind of test for this/did you seek a second opinion for affirmation? No, there's no test. I did see a gender therapist for a few months before starting hormones, but I pretty much knew going in that I was trans and was going to transition. I just needed someone to reassure me.
>How do you really know beyond the abstract notion of 'feeling' a certain gender? I've never "felt" like a man. I know I'm a man because of body dysphoria. I was deeply unhappy in a female body. I am much more happy and comfortable in a male body. Therefore, I am a man.
I was actually on 4chan and I was asking a bunch of weird questions about how I could be more feminine but like you know I don't want to transition or anything because it's not like I'm trans but just out of curiosity... Then a bunch of people called me out on it and I gave a bunch of weird answers to their questions. Someone said I should try saying "I'm trans" out loud and see how it made me feel, so I did and WELP. I also reflected on all the suspect things in my life like that recurring fantasy I had where I came out to my dad as trans when I was 14.
>What age were you when you came to this conclusion?
It was right before my 21st.
>What did you do next?
T H E R A P Y H E R A P Y
>Is there some kind of test for this/did you seek a second opinion for affirmation?
Not really. Admitting it to myself was the point of no return. I just knew.
>How do you really know beyond the abstract notion of 'feeling' a certain gender?
Well at the time I don't know if I would have had much of an answer for this but a lot of it comes down to not really my internal sense of self but more like how I want other people to understand me, if that makes sense. So in that regard it's more like a conscious choice than some sort of inborn thing. People misinterpreting who I am and where I'm coming from has caused me infinitely more grief than any sort of immutable sense of self.
>>5531433 >how did you figure out that you're trans? I saw a friend naked and realized that she had the right genitals. And clearly I had the wrong ones. Which sucked, but what could I do about it?
>What age were you when you came to this conclusion? I have no idea. Sometime in primary school.
>What did you do next? Nothing, because I had never heard of or been exposed to trans people in any way, and every representation in media devoted to children involved some supernatural agency changing a boy into a girl or vice versa. It amounted to some extra prayers and wishes from Santa, but it would be a long time before I learned transition was not exclusive to the realm of fantasy.
>Is there some kind of test for this/did you seek a second opinion for affirmation? Not a test, per se, but I kept finding overlap between my feelings and those expressed by other trans people. More so after puberty wrecked me.
>How do you really know beyond the abstract notion of 'feeling' a certain gender? It's really all about feelings. The effects puberty had on me made me feel disgusted with myself, and eventually culminated in my being unable to identify with my own appearance; I was called beautiful, or handsome, or sexy, or goofy, and I couldn't really understand it. I just had to take their statements on faith, because I was too revolted to form an opinion of my own about anything but my body's function.
Being on hormones has abstracted away much of the revulsion. It's no longer so constant or visceral. I am still not happy with the me I see, but as I work on undoing the damage, I'm feeling better about it. I'm becoming comfortable in my body.
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