This is rather minor, but I'm curious if others have felt the same. Have you ever tried to be a part of the community, but personal reasons keep making you feel reluctant to go out and participate? I'm trans and I've had a hard time mustering up the urge to go to local LGBT clubs and events. Like, I feel like I want more friends (And even some romance, preferably a bi girl) but I feel very self conscious and wind up putting off going to the local LGBT areas (I live in DC).
Anyone else ever feel that way? What do you do to get around it? Any coping strategies?
Set your mind to it anon :) , you can do it
Funny enough, seeing someone I know never occurred to me. I'm originally from Ohio (I'm actually visiting my parents) and when I'm in Ohio I tend to keep androgynous/ not very trans around them (They're 50, not gonna fight that battle.). I live in DC though, so theoretically it's the most accepting place (Unless if you disagree (Ok I joke I joke, but I occasionally feel like me disagreeing with things makes me less valid) for the LGBT community). Consequently, I don't really have a lot of friends out here. So I don't worry about that so much.
I see. So we aren't too dissimilar in that regard.
I kind of wish I was able to begin the whole transitioning process sooner though. But, I grew up in Ohio and had to join the army to get ahead in life.
I live in Portland fucking Oregon yet I've never done a single thing to take part in "the community" because a) I was in denial about my gender and sexuality for a long, long time; and b) I'm a pathetic shut-in and am awkward in general. There's a FTM support group that I tell myself every week I'm going to go to, and I haven't yet been able to make myself go. I don't know how to into "the community"...
You sound like someone I went to school with from first grade.
>tfw usually nobody that you like chases you anymore
Why do you say that?
(I've been getting mobbed by my sisters children this evening... send help.)
Is that just because of your extreme seclusion and self isolation?
I'm more normal, though half the time I get kind of lazy and don't bother presenting well... mostly because it's just me by my self 99% of the time.
(Also, short of adopting a trip code, I try to post a picture with all of my posts)
Apparently Portland meetup night.
No DC anons save me though.
If there's a Portland meetup... send updates?
I'm just hanging out tonight. I handed one of the kids a computer and now she's endlessly playing video games. The other one is knocked out asleep.
Oh I'm the DC anon that just posted in that creepy dolls edition. I have no intention of meeting up with others tonight, I just saw that some anons seemed to express interest in meeting up and wanted to experience it vicariously~
> feeling like i have to get into NORMAL community
> Everytime I go outside I end dooing something realy cringeworthy
> even when I hold back, only answer shortly when I'm asked etc.
> It's so goddamn exhausting to care about every footstep, how you eat etc.
Anyone else feeling like that too?
Yeah, to be frank, it's kind of what has caused me to be a little reluctant. The expectations on all sides can get overwhelming, then there's the general worry involved just going out into town and so on. It feels like if I go out I'll just have some kind of spotlight on me. Etc.
It can get annoying...
Don't we all when we are so self critical?
I didn't know there were so many trans people in Portland. I guess this is the place to post this but I'm looking to move there and would love to know some other trans people before I go if anyone wants to talk
It seems like it, and it weirds me out. I wish I didn't have such crippling social anxiety - I'd love to connect with like-minded people locally, but I can't even make myself talk to people off anon or "privately" over the internet, let alone meet up in person. My confidence is going up the more I pass, though. Maybe in a year or so, I'll be able to make myself do real things with real people in real life.
......I freaking hate DC sometimes.
I only stick around because this is where I find defense contracting employment relevant to my old Army job.
What I don't like though is how stuck up DC folk tend to be.
What sort of defense contracting? (I only really know about research stuff at the national labs and such, like Sandia and LANL here in New Mexico, but I imagine there's a lot of other things I'm not considering.)
Satellite signal analysis and the likes.
There are only certain spots, but the intel field tends to cluster itself in certain locations. I won't say where precisely though. Needless to say, of those locations, only one or two of them appeal to me.
Sorry. Kind of nodded off there for a few. I'm turning in.