>Have transgender feelings since 8
>become publicly out at 16 to my mom
>get things started at around 19 (present)
>mom keeps thinking it's a phase
>says she doesn't really see it in me
>it starts to get into my head
>well, maybe i don't see it either?
>i'd always liked girly things, played girl characters, drew women, etc.
>but on the outside or as most people know me I was rather masculine, a confident boy
>i didn't dislike being the confident boy
>wonder if this is just a phase..
>could it just be auto-whatchamacallit?
I have my letter ready to start HRT, but this is a huge decision on my life. I know I can just wait and think, but I have been with no conclusion on my own. I also don't want to suppress it til my thirties and have a midlife crisis where I'm some hon with kids..
Here's the truth. You won't pass much more at 25 than you would've at 20. Bar balding, your body won't have changed much in that time frame. If you have the features, you'll be able to pass whether you started at 19 or 25. So don't hurry, your puberty is more or less over, take HRT at your own pace.
I don't know what I want for how I "age", I just want to be ultimately happy. I'd love to transition, but I'm also kind of comfortable as a guy.
Usually when I imagine myself in future context, I'm always a woman. But.. I don't know if this is just some long dragged out fantasy and I need to come to reality.
If you decide to do this and balding runs in your family or you seem to have evidence of it starting, PLEASE consider at least using finasteride and / or minoxidil to counteract that; you really don't want to have huge bald spots like I do if you eventually do decide to transition down the line.
* can i just add that you can't go on blockers for too long without taking oestrogen though because it massively increases the risk of osteoporosis. You basically go through the menopause when you're on them without hormone pills... which is not fun.
Assuming no rare side-effects, the permanent physical effects of HRT for transwomen are breast growth and infertility. If you're worried about the latter, sperm banking is an option; if you decide you absolutely hate the breast growth you can get breast reduction surgery (not that its likely that you will get anything more than puffy nipples in the first three months or so).
For the finasteride I just talked to my general doctor. Minoxidil is over the counter. I don't know about puberty blockers. There are other anti-androgens as well; you don't want to be on them long-term without a sex hormone (either testosterone or estrogen) in your body due to the mild risk of osteoporosis, but if only used alone for a few years it's probably okay.
Back to Susan's with your evil lies you filthy hon.
Not even factoring the decreased efficacy of hormones over time, a LOT of masculinization happens into the late twenties for men. Shoulders broaden, jaws widen, voices deepen, foreheads thicken and eyes become more sunken. Hair grows EVERYWHERE. Oh, and your muscles will probably get a lot bigger and harder to be rid of.
OP, you're on the cusp of permanent hon-hood. You still have a fleeting chance at salvation if you start right now, otherwise may god have mercy on your soul.
I've been browsing tranny boards for like two years now and I've yet to see or meet a single person who started after ~23 who actually passes (not the reddit "filtered photo with extremely flattering angle, bangs, glasses and clown make-up pass").
Aren't puberty blockers different than anti-androgens? I know anti-androgens have that effect, I just assumed puberty blockers like they give to pubescent trans people worked differently somehow, maybe not.
I can't justify the means to do it over my male life. Being that you seem to be a comfortable male, what would you do if you had the same feelings as I?
Would you feel they're not worth it? I'm getting a lot of Yes's and No's but no Why's..
There's really not a good way to know for 100% certain if you will react positively or negatively to HRT without trying it, unfortunately. As far as commitment, it's always an option to stop transitioning at any time, or to not fully transition, or decide to not identify fully as female or whatever.
Another option to bring up which I don't think has been mentioned: being a feminine boy, with or without some amount of HRT. Would that be comfortable for you? Would you like that more or less than more complete transition?
>Being that you seem to be a comfortable male, what would you do if you had the same feelings as I?
What the fuck are you talking about senpai. I started hormones a few weeks after I turned eighteen and I'm twenty now.
>Would you feel they're not worth it? I'm getting a lot of Yes's and No's but no Why's..
I'd say try it out to see if you like how it feels. You don't have to commit to anything at this point, just take it one day at a time and see how it goes.
Lmao, most of the people I see on the transpassing age that have gone through male puberty do not pass at all. Facial hair is pretty much solidified at 18, and the facial changes that happen will be very subtle at best. If your face is meant to pass, it will pass, at least from 18-25. The shit is pure, genetic chance.
My hands are dry and I have dirt and oil embedded in the cracks because I've resorted to working on my own car. 3 days of running up and down the stairs to my apartment to read the teardown manual to diagnose the problem. It has been dropping 15" of snow and it's hovering in +/- single digits. I feel like a real man.
Tell me more about your gender issues.
I don't know who I am. Am I a feminine boy? I can't tell anymore. My mom got deep into my head with that "phase" mention. I'm not the anon you replied to but I also agree with this, >>5518513. I'd want to be seen as female but not be overly girly?
At this point I'm not sure what I want at all, it just becomes a blur.
I don't know *who* I am anymore.
I don't follow..
Just because you feel like you're a girl doesn't mean you have to conform to stereotypically girly things.
Constricting yourself to that will render you helpless, and the dumb damsel in distress act won't get you anywhere unless you look like Jessica Simpson.
Make up your mind. Do you see a future looking down that road with sugar and spice and everything nice?
At some point you just have to decide. Is it worth being uncertain about this for the rest of your life if you don't do it? Worst case scenario you'll change your mind in a few years and be embarrassed about it, maybe you'll lose a few friends.
You just have to weigh whether you want stability or peace of mind in your life.
React positively? There's a reaction that's going to happen outside of my hands for my own judgement?
I guess my concern is, will I be fooling myself into believing transitioning is what I want.
I cringe at the embarrassment of having to tell my friends and family "False alarm, it was a phase." to no end.
The most noticeable change for me has been a mental one. My brain feels at ease, thoughts no longer swirl, and I know who I am. Without these changes everything else I've been able to do would have been impossible. It takes a lot of work beyond hormones, but they are something you will "know" are helping.
As for the other concerns: we all had them. Well, nearly everybody. But all of those things were going against suicide for me, so I figured hormones could only help; or let me know I really did need to kill myself. Luckily the 'mones came through for me and I'm A+.
Being embarrassed really isn't that bad, at least it's not worse than being consumed by constant doubt and anxiety. I'd rather know for sure that I'm fool of myself than be unsure if I'm "normal". Once again though, it's all about what you value more, personally I choose peace of mind over anything else, it's not easy but the outcome seems worth the risk to me.
You're a feminine man, OP. That's okay.
Men can't be women.
The idea that they can is insane, and the explosion and oversaturation of the media and culture with this over the past decade or so is some postmodernist bullshit.
You can poison yourself. You can have a doctor mutilate you.
None of that will make you into a woman (a female human).
Another feminine man who fell for the trans meme
I honestly think these are the only reasons we have trans genders
>born xxy or xyy or intersex w/e
Finasteride (for example) isn't a tranny pill, it's prescribed primarily to cis men. I don't know if spiro + estrogen in help with the baldness more than just finasteride, but it's not like full HRT is the only option available.
I know it won't make me a full woman, that's not even what I'm aiming for. Just the appearance and referral to as a woman.
In fact, I'm comfortable with my male genitalia and still planned on using it even on hormones. This part really confuses me, because while I'm totally okay with it. Obviously it goes against the whole trans ideal.
Could it be AGP? I remember breaking down in tears having to come out to my mom, worried whether or not she'd accept me. Now I wonder if I was just fooling myself this whole time..
Maybe I should try to talk to my mom more..
What I'm worried about is mostly outside of my own self. How will my family react? Will dating be scarce for me? Will I enjoy sex more now that I'm comfortable?
You might not see any difference on the outside, but it makes very serious changes in your head and your thinking process the first month. Why do you think so many complain of feeling "electric shocks" in their head from how much their brain is being worked around?
>Obviously it goes against the whole trans ideal.
It's only going against certain overly rigid views of what being trans is. If you don't have genital dysphoria, why feel like you need to pretend to have it? Just deal with the types of dysphoria you do have.
Well, if you dont mind being a guy, why cant you just be a man who likes girly stuff? There is nothing wrong about it. If you dont hate who you are whats the point of changing your sex?
Also you should consult this topic with therapist and not with some random 4chanfags.
Anyway good luck anon!
It's not as though I feel I need to transition to justify my likeness for femme stuff. I just prefer being referred to and seen as the world as female. I'm not sure why.
Often I'd make female characters or names in chats not to trap or have any effect on anyone, just to be referred to and conversate as female.
I also like being mistaken as female because of my features and long hair, which happens often. Absolutely am bored of cons or halloween if I'm not vaguely associated with female.
I've seen a therapist, and she hardly knew what GID was, let alone have any helpful advice on it.
I know it might be shady, but I rather enjoy the multiple anonymous feedback from 23 posters. I have to sift through BS, yeah, but there are many different takes being discussed within themselves.
The official end of your puberty is your early 20s but most men have tons of minor development throughout their 20s but it's not really included as being part of puberty.
It's not until your early 30's that you'll have a good idea of how well your beard can grow and what your final body hair amount will be.
If you are comfortable being a guy, I would avoid transitioning all together. Remain a guy, dress and make yourself up when you want to feel feminine. Unless you are full disassociative you will be happier where you are. HRT is not something you want to go in and out of as it will adversely affect mood and your body.
If you doubt that you are indeed Trans and can be okay as a guy, you are not trans. Not knocking you down or anything like that but it carries a lot of mental, physical, and social baggage that isn't worth it just because you "aren't sure".
Be you. You can have feminine interests as a guy without needing to become a girl.
you do know that transitioning will not make you into a cis woman? it's an imperfect treatment that makes you sterile and dependent on medication for the rest of your life. that's a reduction because the social situation can be dangerous too depending on where you live.
if the current situation is good for you, why would you prefer another with such disadvantages?
wait until you're moved out and on your own. take time. go slow. dont rush it. If I were you, I'd go out and get a job and find your own place to live. If you're that easy to cave for your mom, think about how easy you'll cave to others.. figure out yourself first and become confident. you're stupidly young.
i didn't. i simply asked you how it fits together because it isn't obvious to me. i'm not going to claim to know you better than you yourself. now i made a follow up question because (as i tried to explain) i wonder what makes you prefer being a woman even with the (in my opinion) very significant disadvantages.
(same as >>5540451)
but I think "i'd rather be a woman" is taken in the hypothetical sense that you'd rather be a cis woman or at least a 100% passing tranny, not being some disgusting hon.
and at least for me, i'd much rather be a woman, but i'm ok with being treated as a guy. it's just not a huge deal for me. what i really don't like is my masculine body and that upsets me. if i had the option of just getting a female body but, say, nobody else saw it or nobody else treated me differently than i do now, i'd be completely fine with that.
fair enough but OP is another person than you and so my question towards him is still open.
you sound like you know yourself much better than OP so i hope for you you'll get on hrt eventually.
in fact i am taking hrt, but it tears me apart and ultimately will probably not work.
now, if you want to help OP that's great. but can you reexplain what you're not understanding originally mentioned in >>5536005?
i don't understand what you don't understand, and it shouldn't particularly matter who responds with an example of why there is no problem with both
>wanting to be seen as a girl
>enjoying being the confident boy that is seen as masculine
>in fact i am taking hrt, but it tears me apart and ultimately will probably not work.
do you mind to elaborate? that sounds horrible :(
>i don't understand what you don't understand
boys usually do not want to be girls and femininity(?) is pretty much the opposite of masculinity so there is some kind of contradiction. i don't deny the possibility for such a contradiction to exist in one person but i would like to hear from OP how or why it exists.
>it shouldn't particularly matter who responds with an example of why there is no problem with both
it does because i am particularly interested in OPs case. the same symptom can exist for multiple causes and you're example may be similar but it could have a very different causation and thus making the case completely different. i am still interested in hearing different experiences so i appreciate your post though.
Go for the body you are comfortable with anon, not a body that you think you should have because you are female. (not saying you shouldn't go transition either. if you feel that that is you, then go for it.)
I feel the same way but I'm not sure if I'm gonna go through with any transitions because I consider my identity to be both male and female.
well i disagree that it's a contradiction
as for the elaboration, sure. (if you want basically a life summary, someone asked about it once before and i saved it to pastebin) here's the gist
>don't really "identify" as a woman but still get really jealous of them
>any "dysphoria" if you call it that is 99% bodily
>had mild panic attack realizing my hairline was receding, and that led to me getting on hairloss meds and basically "well shit if i'm doing something it's gotta be soon"
>fine being a guy socially because i'm used/comfortable to it, i can be a part of normal society, and i stand a chance with girls i find attractive (basically classical AGP - "want to be and be with her", plus sexual attraction to developing hormone changes)
basically my head and face are masculine-ugly as fuck and i really don't like it. i have your typical tall lanky nerd skeleton. i don't want to get more old-masculine and men's bodies kind of disgust me. however, i am not feminine in manner or mindset really, so continuing on the hormones will eventually put me in an awkward place where i will have to
>put on an act of being feminine and say i'm trutrans and be a disgusting hon
>reside in some weird freakish middle ground where i am a "dude" with boobs and long hair
both essentially make me a pariah and seal the fate of being forever alone, yet now that the hormones are in my possession i can't keep myself off of them for very long.
in essence, i have two choices: take estrogen or "take" testosterone and DHT. the former ruins my social life and the latter ruins my body
i have no good choice and ultimately i will have to get myself to choose the latter, because at least i can pretend that everything is ok.
hence the tearing
why not just get on testosterone blockers? Essentially male birth control.
You also have the option of removing your balls. No testosterone = no receding hairline. but no estrogen equals no boobs.
>why not just get on testosterone blockers?
ffs. testosterone blockers are drugs you can't "just" take. it has serious side effects like depression and osteoporosis. estrogen negates most side effects but without you're in for a shitty life.
i really hate how hrt is offered to anybody on here like it's fucking candy.
but that guy has a point. you definitely need testosterone, females have it too. you could however keep your test level above female range but in low or very low range for males while keeping your e level in low or middle female range. i don't think this happens too often though so i don't think there is any help you can get from doctors or the internet. you'd be basically on your own researching new grounds. and of course i'm only guessing that this might keep you andro.
>Have transgender feelings since 8
>get things started at around 19
11 years gone by, went thru therapy and got a letter...its not a phase
also your mom sounds like a cunt.
but what about eunuchs? they seem pretty fine and they've been around for centuries...
not having balls wont kill you. your body still produces it in low levels.. you just wont have to worry about having too much or having to even out estrogen.
>Because testosterone affects so many functions, its decrease can bring about significant physical and emotional changes.
Indeed they don't. Anti-androgen (blocks T from having effect) vs anti-gonadotrope (Block sex hormones from being produced). The problem with puberty blocker is that without sex hormone, pre-puberty, you'll continue to grow to freakish height. So no more than 6 months usually. Post puberty, for both "just" a risk of osteoporosis.