a number of factors could be the cause >predisposition from birth (most common) >childhood trauma (less common, but still notable) >failing at heterosexuality (recently, more common) >victim of media brainwashing (also becoming more common)
Sometimes I feel like this is why I'm gay, I'm too afraid to meet someone on grindr because I'm scared that I'm just a person that was born straight and became gay because my brain is fucked and that I have a fucked up faggot brain.
>>5515487 >failing at heterosexuality (recently, more common) How does this work? Is it like if you don't already have had experience with girls your age before the age of 20 you'll already have jerked off to so much porn that you settle for the second best(the dick) or just start having cuck fantasies because you don't find it realistic for fantasizing about yourself having sex with girls?
Because of my autism I could always try a hooker, but I feel like after I got conditioned into homosex I can't go back to girls, I feel like I've ruined myself by penis envy, occational gay fantasies and thinking about my friends having sex with girls I found beautiful.
>>5515563 >Is it like if you don't already have had experience with girls your age before the age of 20 you'll already have jerked off to so much porn that you settle for the second best(the dick) Basically, yes. Porn is a HUGE factor here, because the sheer amount you expose yourself to stretches your sexual tolerances so much that you'd even entertain homosexual relationships.
I don't think it's too late to turn back now, you're basically telling yourself that you SOMEHOW have a better chance with guys than you do with girls, which is a mistake. If you were heterosexual for the longest time, that's what you should be getting back to. You need to stop masturbating, once you do this for a sufficient length of time your original sexual urges will emerge again.
>>5515580 gays are portrayed as "unique" or "cool" in the media, not just TV and movies but online things like vlogs and whatnot, and younger, more impressionable generations adapt their personalities and lifestyles. Also the mere normalization of it I think pushes a lot of people to be more homo who could honestly help it.
>>5515654 >There is no actual proven theory so just be a typical human idiot and believe whatever fits your retarded world view. Somebody with more ambition than me should make an image macro of Benjamin Franklin with this on it.
>>5515589 >>5515589 But I've always had homosexual urges, I remember one time when I was 11 years old a friend of mine was humping his pillow, he had his ass sticking out he asked if I wanted to dry hump his ass, the urge to do that was so strong but I was such a prude at the time. We also almost started humping each other in a tend in our garden, but we were interrupted by my mother.
Even when I was younger I would have homoerotic urges. When I was 7 years old my friend asked me if we should try out condoms, I watched as he put on, he's was much bigger than mine, I started feeling like we were doing something wrong so I refused to put it on. But when night came I was so horny that I took that same exact condom he used and put it on my dick(felt so good). His dick was abnormally big for a preteen. As teens he developed a pretty big dick and balls, I used to get so turned on when he would pull his pants down in front of me.
I've never really had any memories about lusting over girls when I was a preteen, I remember one time when I was 11 years of age some girl came up to me and asked me if I could be somebodies boyfriend, I got disgusted and told that that flat out no, even as a teen I didn't get really that turned on by girls.
I also remember at the age of 11 I would hang around 2 older popular guys when I was in school, I'd laugh like a silly bitch around them, they would tease me and pull my shorts up I really enjoyed it all, but my friend(that I almost dryhump several times told my mom that I was getting bullied at school, I didn't experience it as that, I really looked up to those guys and I enjoyed how they treated me).
As I keep reminiscing about my sexual feelings, I can see that I've always been a faggot.
>>5515589 I'm starting to think the media brainwashed me into being straight(which it did), I became a represssed homosexual in my early adult hood. At 18 I came out to my mother, then I went back into the closet, and started drinking, now I'm just a socially crippled sad fuck. I'd just wish I had come to terms with my sexuality in my teens, not as an adult, because I've been "hetero" for so long. I feel so conflicted at times.
>>5515679 >preteens If a kid is showing signs of being overtly sexual before puberty, its usually a good indicator that they suffered sexual abuse or were at least sexualized too early. Preteens being "attracted" to the same sex is normal. Feelings of attraction to the opposite sex starts to happen during puberty. Not to say that you weren't always destined to be a fag, but it's just annoying when homos say shit like, "I've known since I was 5yrs old that I was a homosexual."
>>5515998 But it too late for me to turn back now, jerking off to cocks and gay porn just feels so much better than ever jerking off over some shaggy pussy. I've never really got turned on by women except they were with a man. But I've been turned on by men a whole lot.
Just talking about dicks makes me hard. I really just need to stop being a pussy and take a dick in my mouth already.
>>5515998 >Feelings of attraction to the opposite sex starts to happen during puberty honestly in my experience its all over thr place, doesnt seem to be aligned with puberty at all. its just socially acceptable to say you get boners for people once you hit puberty. but if you have something to back that up id like to see it
>>5515430 I think that it's too complicated to pin-point to one single isolated event or explanation. There are several reasons that some people might turn out gay and it might just be as simple as a preference, such as some of us hate grape juice.
God damn. We're all just people. Who cares? Just put your penis where you want, and date who you want. Nothing's permanent. You literally live once. Just get the fuck over things, and don't be hard on yourself. If you wanna marry a man, do it. You don't owe nobody NOTHIN. Unless it's taxes, bills, mortgage, insurance, etc. This is called being enlightened.
>>5516237 So how does your therapist explain the fact that most kids divide up according to sex before puberty (boys prefer to be with boys, girls with girls) but then most don't turn out gay once they mature sexually?
I believe people are gay because of what their minds are exposed to at younger ages. as we age our mind develops and at younger generations the mind may be exposed to something subconsciously and as we age that subconscious becomes attraction. i dont believe its something youre born with i believe that it is something that develops over time
>>5516275 Boys like to stay together because of comradery, they might be more awkward, emotionally naive to figure out why they find girls to have "cooties", maybe because they boys like girls and they don't know how to handle that feel so they act like jerks towards girls(in some cases).
>>5516293 >Societal pressure lolwut? I can't believe a therapist is actually saying that grade school children (at the age where they are all about self interest) have the behavior of "girls are icky" because of external societal pressures. You're full of crap.
(engage blog post; full thrusters, light speed; force field to maximum) >>5516237 That was the case for me. I felt like I identified more with girls, unless there was a special boy who was girly like me, then I wanted to be his "Best Friend." It was in the third grade that I suspected I was a homosexual. Not even joking. When I was in middle school, I never felt attraction to girls. Then, it was in the 6th grade that I realized all my friends were girls. And I realized what they were, but... I couldn't think of the name... Now that I'm older, it was "fag hag." Then, I really hit puberty in middle school and stopped talking to whatever small amount of friends that were boys, because shit was awkward, and they were all athletic and funny. Also didn't want to talk to girls in fear of looking gay. I ended up having no more friends until the 8th grade, with some kid who liked to play grab ass with me and draw funny pictures with him in the back of the classroom, usually they were dicks that we drew. 8th grade was pretty funny, I remember watching roots in the back of the classroom with him and giggling at the awkward but extremely serious acting. It was also when I was an 8th grader that I discovered 4chan, which was 10 years ago. Definitely not a mistake for me; 4chan allowed me to explore a lot of creative interests, and helped me discover my career. Anyway, I saw that kid's penis at least a dozen times. He had a pretty big cock for a teenager. Then, in highschool, I met more overweight, unbathed nerds to become friends with, so it wasn't awkward. We all used 4chan. Well, I ended up falling in love with a few of those nerds. But, to stay in the closet, I would pay attention who which girls the boys liked, and I would obsessively tell myself that I liked her in a desperate attempt to become straight. It was a nightmare. Now, I really don't give a fuck. give me a cock, let's party.
>>5516332 >attention who which girls the boys liked, I did the same, my friend told me about who was the hottest girl in class(thinking like that hadn't really crossed my mind). Then I started fantasizing about my friend doing her. I would think about how much of a man my friend was.
It doesn't affect reproductive ability. Cultural pressures kept people reproducing. The 'gay/straight' dichotomy is fairly recent, while same-sex attraction, romance, and sex, has been documented in several cultures that don't resemble the current, western ones.
Asking why people are 'gay' because sex is for reproduction is like asking why people like fiction books, if reading is for gathering information. Some people hate reading and only do it when they have to, which would be analogous to compulsory heterosexuality. But when heterosexuality isn't 'enforced' then people just go along with their preferences. Some people have a disposition towards fiction, some have a disposition towards nonfiction, some have a strong preference but will like certain books of the other type. Some people have no preference. Some people don't enjoy reading, but like audiobooks. etc.
>>5516365 >The 'gay/straight' dichotomy is fairly recent
This is getting into one of the reasons why discussion on sexual identity can get convoluted and messy as fuck. Because when someone asks the question "What makes someone gay?" they're not just asking what makes someone exclusively attracted to their own gender, but they're also asking about the rationality behind a sexual identity in general. The latter can be especially confusing, since people can use the same terms to define very different tastes. e.g., what's the distinction between a heteroflexible man and a bisexual dude with a preference for women?
>>5515430 Anywho, if we're just talking about sexual attraction, I'd say that's primarily genetic, BUT can be influenced by environmental factors.
You know, like damn near everything else about a person.
>>5516365 >is like asking why people like fiction books, if reading is for gathering information. I guess you analogy falls a little flat but... you are implying that information can't be gathered from reading fiction when it obviously can.
OC, OP's question can't be answered but just b/c a question can never be succinctly answered doesn't mean that it's not worth asking. Surely most ppl out there have some opinion why they think they are gay.
I guess maybe it's too painful of a question to answer or to ask one's self because of self hatred? idk.
>>5515430 Tbh I feel it HAS to be genetic or something.
I live in a shitty third world where you're very likely to get killed for this kind of shit, I was literally taught that being gay was wrong long before I even knew what it was, even media was 100% against it and I still turned out gay
Severely repressed for the longest time, of course. When I was very young I even went through the trouble of developing crushes on random girls simply because that was expected of me. I would never actually pursue anything, I'd just pretend I actually had a crush and tell others when relevant.
Which is why I want to hit anyone who says gay acceptance is making people gay with a bat. You can't make people gay, you can only make them feel better about it so they won't hide it. It'll look like there are more gays, but the number is the same.
>>5515998 Being a kid that likes to dry hump isn't a sign of sexual abuse, I used to dry hump in my bed all the time, once when I was 11 years old i stealth dry humped my 10 year old cousin feet while we were laying on the bed(there was a layer of blankets that seperate me from his foot. He was playing ps1 and talking and I was just looking at him while he talked and I just try to look like I was listening. And I was steering at him like some creep, it was like I was admiring him.
Increased estrogen in the womb (for the dudes, obviously) which is why a lot of gay guys act really feminine when thwyre young kids and have had less pressure from outside sources to conform. Also, for bottoms and trannies, probably a desire for security and male approval
>>5515430 Sexuality is a spectrum, straight being at one end and gay at the other. When you're born, you start in the middle, and a bunch of social influences help determine which way you lean. Or something.
>>5516022 >>5516051 >>5516332 >>5516707 >>5516731 >>5516757 OMG you ppl were/are fucked up. I used to think the gay thing was more environmental... more nurture over nature... but if you guys were exhibiting those sort of behaviors at such early ages and you really were not abused/molested as children before that, then I guess it is genetics. Some sort of heredity genetics at play that pushes you into degenerate behavior that causes you to eventually become gay. It would be interesting to find out if your family history has a pattern of sexual deviancy.
>>5517789 >degenerate behavior ohh hi there /pol/ Don't believe everything you hear on /pol/ most of it is plain stormfront propaganda.
One time I started believing what /pol/ was saying(I was on ritalin, and couldn't think straight and just felt anxious and paranoid from the drug) and from reading about bullshit on /pol/. So glad that bullshit didn't stick with me, because it would have made me a miserable cunt, who wouldn't be able to turn on the news without going into an autistic rage about something really trivial.
I mean when I was 5 years old I had my 'first kiss' with a girl, but I don't really count it as an actual first kiss because we were playing and I can barely remember it.
At the same time, there was a boy I went to kindergarten with who I loved hugging and I wanted to be with him all the time. A similar thing happened to me in first grade with another boy.
When I was about 8 I really liked a girl who went to my class. We were friends, and one day I told her I liked her. She told me she didn't but we remain being friends anyways.
At about the same time, I watched the Simpsons episode with the gay guy, and I asked my dad what 'homosexual' meant. When he told me what it was I remember I thought "Oh, just like me, then."
Then, when I was about 12 I started 'noticing' my other classmates a lot more, and I started masturbating at that age.
When I was 13-15 I found plenty of men attractive, and also some women, some of which were my classmates. I learnt what bisexuality was at that time, and I thought I was bi. Then, I met an older guy from my school. He was 18 and we became good friends for a while. I became obsessed with him, and probably even fall in love for him. But he was straight, so nothing happened.
When I was 16 I had my first date and kiss with another boy my age. I didn't like it a lot because I didn't find him particulary attractive, but I didn't dislike it either.
At 17 I got my first boyfriend (different guy). Thhis one I did find attractive, and I figured I'm gay since I didn't even think of women anymore. I had sex for the first time with him and it was awesome.
Now I'm 21, and I identify as gay. However, I find some girls attractive from time to time, and I've developed a sort of fetish for passing ftms. What I mean is that I don't find vaginas to be disgusting or anything, even when I prefer dicks.
So I guess I had a predisposition to be gay since I was little or something.
Humans are programmed over billions of years to gain pleasure from sex. All sex is pleasurable, whether it's a man with a man or a woman with a woman. I really do believe that all humans are inherently bisexual, why wouldn't we be? It only makes sense. Gay and straight people are just convinced that they only like one gender.
>>5518535 >Being a male and start appreciating dicks works exactly as being male and appreciating big tits or vaginas: it's the exactly same amount of social forcing\conditioning. >Men wanting to plow vaginas is social conditioning >this is what /lgbt/ believes
>>5520361 Sex isn't a bit programmed to be pleasurable (=1) or non-pleasurable (=0). There is an immense variety of different sexual experiences some going from traumatizingly awful to endorphine-induced retardation. Rape or BDSM or scat are all "sex" fetishes, but I can assure you most people don't find it pleasurable.
Being a virgin, I'm still very unsure about my sexuality. I'll try to explain my situation in greentext, maybe someone knows what I'm going through. English is not my native language so bear with me.
>be kid, about 9 or 10 >hang around with neighbour kid >his family was shit so he was always angry >i was much smaller and weaker than him >he would often initiate sexual conversations >he would often even touch me and try to get me to touch him back >being very intimidated by his size i would unwillingly comply >at this point, our relationship was based only on my own fear of him >basically, made me his bitch >enter puberty >get fat and ugly >everyone's getting girlfriends and boyfriends >i'm alone >still straight at this point >as the years go on I get more and more lonely >start having sexual thoughts about guys >slowly they become much more recurrent >basically convinced that I'm 75% gay 25% straight at this point >18 years now >meet this slut in club one night >an absolute 9/10, no idea what she wanted with me >she grabs my arm and takes me in front of the club >starts making out with me (first time I actually made out with someone) >my dick is diamonds >never thought that a woman could attract me the way she did, pure magic >my heart was so racing i thought that i was gonna faint >make a stupid excuse about how I love another girl >months after the encounter I become 100% straight, men do absolutely nothing for me >21 now >still virgin >about 75% gay 25% straight again
So in short, I think that I'm just very lonely and confused because I basically got molested. Thoughts ?
My theory? it's just an opinion. I don't see why there's gotta be more to it than that. I like playing videogames, hell I couldn't learn to not enjoy them if I tried. My younger sister hates spicy foods, and even if she tried really hard I doubt she could ever enjoy it. Likewise homos just happen to prefer the same gender.
>>5520361 >I really do believe that all humans are inherently bisexual, why wouldn't we be? It only makes sense No it doesn't make sense. If this were the case... if all humans were born and existed (if unfettered by society) as 50/50 bisexual individuals then the 1000s of years of culture as created by those humans would reflect that. If you look at all cultures throughout human history, you will find some that were more tolerant of same sex behavior and some that weren't but you will never find that there was suddenly a huge increase in ppl having same sex and remaining in same sex couplings. In fact, it you look at the ones that were tolerant of the same sex couplings, they still looked down on them. Greeks saw it as a vice; pretty sure the Jap Samurai did too, as well as the third gender and two-spirit societies looked down on those types. They tolerated it but it definitely was not an ideal situation. Modern western society is more tolerant than ever towards LGBTs but they still only represent about 5% of the population. If ppl were truly 50/50 bisexual, then it would be gays and straights that would be the monosexual minority and it would be a regular theme in human culture over the centuries.
>>5520549 >ape man has sex and buttsex >vaginal sex makes more humans >follow that and create a norm of it being normal and what we do because of it >years of it being the norm in after many societies where kids are raised and told straight is the only normal path seriously? do you think psychology or sociology dont exist or something?
>>5520835 I've always gotten the idea from media that gays are weak, annoying, and girly. And it's always considered haleruious when someone is a closet/repressed homosexual in films "haha he got what he deserved that faggot, he lost his chick to the main protagonist and now he's on his knees sucking dick, where he belongs".
I've also gotten the message from media that repressed homosexual or straight guys that turn gay are just losers.
I've always felt like I was a loser when I was lusting over classmates cocks as a teen.
>>5516536 Well that's some shit man, best of luck to your situation.
Buddies always give me shit for my input on gays,and generally most of my buds also believe it is JUST genetics. I have a problem with this, why exactly, I don't know it just doesn't feel like genetics is 100% of the cause.
Going off of what >>5516365 said (the books part), I would have to agree, this is how it seems. But instead of books, lets talk music, because I haven't read much as of late.
About 5 years ago I did not really enjoy too much music besides older stuff my dad listened to like Queen and Devo, but I knew I hated rap and country. A years later I joined the military and befriended a group of hard pipe-hittin niggas and ofc all they did was listen to rap. I hated it,all the time not being able to follow what was being said. Then I was introduced to Kid Cuddi and it blew my mind. From there I slowly started listening to songs by him featuring others like King Chip which was all rap and not the half song half rap you get from Cuddi. With enough time and pressure I got into rap. I have now listened to pretty much only rap for the past 4 years.
My point is that I think (my theory) the genetics side of being gay is actually just how your brain handles information as it is growing and developing the person you grow to be. I believe that life experiences that people go through along with how their brain processes information along with personal beliefs that makes up our personal opinions which are what lead to people being gay or straight or bi or w/e.
>>5520416 Stockholm syndrome bro. With enough time and pressure anything is possible.
>some dude wanted to touch you, but also wanted you to touch him >years pass and he is still your only memory of anything real >porn's getting stale, starting to fiend for something real as you become a man >finally something happens along your long lonely journey, and you make out with a girl till your 100% straight again >as time passes that memory fades, and so does your straight >old memories start to resurface as you start going back into your routine >now your back to where you were and don't know why and don't know what to think
I'm gonna be real with ya dog because I have a good amount of lonely friends that are in the same place as you relationship wise (actually ur further along than a couple of them), but without the gay childhood friend.
It doesn't sound like you are gay, it sounds like you are lonely. Calling yourself gay because of the porn you watch is not a true indicator. I would have to agree and say your confused because it has been soo many long, painful years and nothing is happening relationship wise, and only solid memories you have of anything is being touched by another kid when growing up which must have been a crazy experience of its own.
so that's my opinion, but with what you have told us I am rather confident about you being straight. I would like to assume that most of your friends, if not all of them are guys? also what kind of guys are they? also also, and be honest, whats your day to day look like? You mostly just game and jerk off, you work some, whats the situation?
(I do this with all my good friends when I see the chance, they are not all as fortunate as me, but for most of them they just don't get it/don't wanna put any work in)
>>5520899 that was growing up, but recent media is changing, and it is changing fast. Think about it, america just made gay legal. The past year gay has only been made on media to look better and better.
I hang out with a lot of people nowadays, but the ones that I call "friends" are mostly guys which share the same interests as me, meaning they enjoy the same films, shows, music and other shit as me.
My day to day ?
Wake up, go to college, listen to lectures, if I have company I grab a cup of coffee with co-eds, go home, remember how lonely I am, play video games, jack off, go to sleep - repeat.
I've also noticed that my attraction towards men is at its peak when I feel the most loneliest and beaten down.
So yeah, probably stockholm syndrome that fucked me up so hard that I don't know what I'm anymore. I'll have to add that to the list of reasons why I should go see a psychologist, along with frequent nightmares and far too frequent and intensive mood-swings.
Also, don't get me wrong, I don't think that being gay or bi is wrong in any way.
For what it's worth, anon, your answer really helped. Thanks.
Well, if I have to make a theory based on my feels, I really feel like being gay is a deviancy, a not desirable trait.
Before I get an online beating, I want to say that I AM gay, and I have no doubts about it. I love men, I love their asses and I love their dicks. So I'm not trying to bash gays, this is just how I feel about my sexuality.
I came out to my parents and friends because it was necessary -I had a boyfriend at that time. But I never really 'owned' my sexuality, let alone felt proud of it.
When I'm around people I don't know, I try not to mention that I'm gay. I don't pretend to be straight either, you know I don't talk about girls and stuff, and if someone asks me, I tell them the truth.
Which is something I hate. I feel so alienated when I tell people I'm gay. I know that from that moment they will only see me as the 'gay guy'
>Do you know anon? >Who? >The gay guy >Oh yeah.
I just could never feel good about being gay. When I had a boyfriend I wouldn't even hold hands with him in public. Being gay just feels wrong for me. I feel like I'm doing something wrong all the time.
But this is just my self loathing about my sexuality. I don't judge others.
>>5521691 (1/2) It's going to be a long one, but I have a lot of opinions and just took an adderal so I'm breakin down ur posts and really giving you a "what i think" about your situation.
Yeah sorry if I made it sound like being gay is wrong, I just don't think you are, or originally were, and with a little direction you can be whoever the fuck you wanna be. Now being gay isn't wrong nor something that needs to change, but being fat, yeah probably something you should work on.
I'm not saying you suck because it is wrong as a person, but it is wrong for your body mentally and physically. My buddy has to sleep 12 hours every fucking day or he's feeling like shit all day, and it comes from his shitty diet, lack of exercise and just bad daily habits where he sits at home all day doing nothing.
His whole family is like this and his parents are around 60 and they have all sorts of health issues related to being fat, and they are always stressed out about everything because they can't do anything comfortably. What this has to do with being lonely? Potentially a lot. I'm not even talking attraction, because obese people get married every day. I just mean that being in decent shape is sometimes all its takes to pull ya out of depression and help get your mind right.
This is important because you don't want to be a grumpier person because you feel gross, people (especially girls) don't like that very often.
Now I have no idea how fat you are or if you just got a college beer belly going, but just really think about it and decide if that is something that you should work on.
Also don't worry about being ugly because someone, for whatever reason, will find you to be one dope ass nigga for sure; the name of the game is being worth them once you find them so you can keep them (works both ways).
>>5521691 (2/2) Lastly: The sad truth of life is that no one is going to fix your loneliness unless you get the ball rolling, nor should they: Finding a partner is no easy task. You have no idea how many fucking issues I have ran into trying to find my other half. Some real bullshit. I know what I like in a person, what I want generally from a partner and have a level of standards, but have only come to this knowledge through many many failures.
I like to talk to girls a little first, get to know em, and as long as conversation seems easy I keep up what I'm doing. At some point they always make a remark about their relationship status, so it is all dependent on that moment where you find out if she is single that will decide if you continue onward. If the lights green, you take that bitch to dinner and if things get boring talking to her I like to take them to a movie so we no longer have to talk, work on my make-out game a little possibly then just bring em home and cut it off. If they are cool as fuck and really enjoy the dinner date then I like to try and do something more interactive - a park, a cemetery, museums, workout, star gazing while drinking a beer and smokin a doobie, literally anything two people can go do and still talk and have a good time.
I find best place to meet woman are work and school, thank god for a new group of people every semester, amIright??!
Sorry for the long entry, and hope this helps man, trying to give ya the best advice for where it sounds like you are at.
>>5515430 well, before I realized i was gay women used to treat me like shit all the time, wanted all the cute boys to have their turn, so finally came out. I have learned from this that my sexuality does not matter because NO ONE gives a shit.
>>5515686 >>5515679 I had a similar experience. My earliest sexual experiences were with guys. There was some prepubescent 'exploring your body' type experiences with both guys and girls, but once I started growing up I really began to shift strongly towards guys. I remember sucking a guy's dick in a tent we set up in his room after soccer practice. We'd flash each other our dicks from time to time throughout the day, like it was some sort of prank. There was also a guy whose house I'd sleep over at, he had a PS2 and I didn't so he'd let me play games on it, and in exchange we'd go into his closet (it was only much later that I realized how ironic this was,) and he'd pull down my pants and rub his dick against my ass, pretending that it was his 'elbow' and he was playing a game of some sort.
Stuff like this happened several times. There was never really any admitting of what was happening between each person, we just kinda acted like it was a game, pretended it wasn't happening, and never ever talked about it. I grew up in a pretty small town, very liberal, and my family didn't have a TV so I wasn't exactly aware of any sort of 'narrative' surrounding being gay, good or bad. It wasn't until I started going to a new school at a much larger town far away that I started being exposed to people who would talk about sex like some taboo topic, and that's when I started to kinda repress myself and started acting straight.
>>5515589 I feel like this is happening to me. I'm bi but the amount of straight porn I've watched over the years has made me numb. also the>>5515563 failure at heterosexuality is a bit of a factor. I just started to hate women the more I talked to them and hung around with them. tl;dr self hating, bored of women
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