fifty shades of gray edition
anyone here into BDSM?
▶Informed Consent Providers: https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/932389/Trans/Stepping%20Forward%20-%20Informed%20Consent%20Clinics.pdf
▶Makeup Tutorial: http://imgur.com/a/JO33K/
▶MTF Info Dump: http://pastebin.com/36HC6ZmT (embed)
▶Trans Info Dump: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1d9KKqP9IHa5ZxU84a_Jf0vIoAh7e8nj_lCW27KbYBh0/edit?usp=sharing
▶Size charts: http://www.americanapparel.net/sizing/default.asp?chart=womens.pantse_conversion_chart.php
▶Transition timelines: http://imgur.com/a/qWpxv
▶Voice Training: http://pastebin.com/dgipdsge (embed)
▶HRT info: https://web.archive.org/web/00000000000000/http://taimapedia.org/index.php?title=Hormones
▶Voice Help: http://webjedi.net/projects/lgbtq/speech-therapy/
▶Minecraft Server: minecraft.is-so.moe
▶Discord server: https://discord.gg/0XFIQ4xa7RcYJuo
▶MTFG Radio https://www.dubtrack.fm/join/mtfg
I'm openly trans and I don't get shit for it besides a fee stares and my pastor at my local church is cool about it so if you get a good town you won't have much to worry about
I wish I could count calories like that. I keep gaining weight ;-;
Fine I'll give u a chance (said the fly to the spider)
Satan is bad
Glad to hear it. Ur doing gr8. What's it major?
Iktf. I'm a devout Christian too
>Tfw best friend is housebound for the next month due to injuries and I have nobody to hang out with irl
Uuu, I'm lonely and wanna do stuff ;; I hope I can visit her soon.
That shitty book...real bdsm is way kinkier than that tame Sylvia Plath stylized shit.
I feel like your dodging the question you have met me in person and have seen plenty of ffs results as well as had the surgery so I mean you've seen me I doubt I have much of a chance not that I can afford it lol
Not really. :v I got raped alot as a kid so BDSM gives me like PTSD flashbacks desu. I'd maybe try some really gentle domming with a long term partner I really really trusted.
>anyone here into BDSM?
I am, hon. Get so fucking moist just thinking about it.
Its a really bad idea to share that on 4chan I must be broken cause I love being hog tied blind folded and gagged and fuck to the point of screaming ecstacy but can't scream cause of gag until he takes it off and plunges his dick in. Yep broken I do get triggered by tv shows or people raising their hand up to the point where I flinch it's pretty pathetic : /
so i used that ohmibod toy today, the dildo that vibrates when people give me money, and it was a very confusing feel lmfao. like it feels really good especially when i'm riding it, but there were points during my time using it that it felt like my insides were fighting back. ;__;
i'm prob gonna be playing maplestory for the rest of the night now cause i want to get to at least level 120, but just wanted to check in! hope you're all having a good night. i saw the elanna drama and although i have made a vow not to be unnecessarily rude i commend her for clapping back. good on u bby.
oo u seem be liking maple !!
hurry up and get geared so we can boss thnx
also that sex toy sounds v weird lol
its called emac, which stands for emerging media and communications. in my case however, its basically a web design/user experience degree. i love making things pretty and simple and i love computers so i can do that with web design.
>tfw u look at the thread and elanna stood up for you AND got rid of cartman
Its not really a big deal. Its not like it can do anything to me. But yeah I feel ya, I have the same reflex to raised hands too since id get hit alot.
The stuff ur describing sounds like nightmare fuel tho
Pssh EVERYINE knows ur a lil gayboiii. And dw about it. Its way in the past and I'm over it mostly
And then it gets a million fucking times worse ugh
Do me first
Well that's awesome that u get to pursue ur dream(I think lol)
Lmao related story. My best friend's dad flipped the fugg out when he found out I'm trans and gave me an hour long hate speech about how trans are freaks of nature and how I'm banned from going to his house or associating with his son. XD
also my parents are homophobic :D also ive been a tiny twinky asian my whole existence
i did like 3 rounds with the free tickets but like ?? how do i get more zebra stripes pooks hELP A SISTER OUT ;__;
But bullying cookie is dabes 8D
Me from behind the grave
Naw that's gross AF (I luv him but my friend is an obese neckbeard) and it would have been really disrespectful. :v
I just silently nodded, agreed with him when prompted and thanked him for his hospitality before I left.
>"Fucking disgrace on our country. "
holy shit. they say shit like 'mexicans are ruining this country' too. they say a lot of things that end in 'this country'
Well this is a nicer thread ^^
I'm sorry that it took until that anon posted screencaps, I honestly had no idea he had said that stuff, and I'd still been friendly with him since then. ;_;
Its amazing I still get shivers thinking about it or having wax poured on your back during a massage oh my God so good.
>Mmn yes restraing your arms while he shoves a vibrating butt plug in making cum solely by his treatment of your ass.
Whipping you for spilling his cum and marking you as his
Yeah it's shitty I want to go back to fl or San Fran senpai. I heard San Fran pays for srs not sure if it's true tho.
So it vibrates when men pay you...that would never work for me good thing I didn't buy one I thought it was just a fun sex toy.
My mother went straight to trying to guilt by making the entire thing about how she felt and how I was making her so depressed and stressed by doing this and how she blamed herself and WHERE DID I GO WRONG AS A MOTHER?. She apologized three years later and now is super supportive at least :V
Just thinking about the stuff you describe makes my stomache hurt from disgust
Lol not in the south that's just a meme here
I'm not a real big fan of gay guys 2bh. I'm super paranoid about STDs and I've heard no good stories about the San Fran area. That's part of the reason why I'm still a virgin
hi I'm v good frogs with me she says hi !!
that'd be really cool if u moved here I'd be excited l-lol
Awww, I hope it gets better ; _ ;
do u wanna talk abt what made it bad??
uhmm u just talk to the girl in mpe again at server reset (12am pst) and u get 3 more tickets !!
it's like 3 a day it's v cool
here's a leveling guide I use :p
y tho !!
People really support him the stupid fuck was given everything he has he's been bankrupted multiples times and has lost large sums off his original inheritance he also hates women, gays and wants to build a wall over Mexico wtf. People have meme political beliefs I mean Jesus.
Eh it's a common misnomer that gays have a higher portion of stds. As long as your safe it's fine most gay guys are bi so it easier for me to get laid lol.
Sorry I'll quit didn't mean to make you sick I just fins it super hot.
>him putting a collar on you and making you wear it out in public so that everyone knows your his.
If we did a mass exodus to 420chan you wouldn't deal with autists like aife clarissa cartman and others.
Because they have ids also it would get rid of the dumb samefaggers that troll or the dumb trips that drop trip.
!!! give her a big hug from me :3
also i would love to hang out with you and frog sometime if i move to NA but i will be in canada so i would have to fly down for a bit but it would be p cool i think :3
good morning qt !
are you well??
its like 40c here rn ;____; im melting umaruu
Rainbow Six Siege is fun.
>Future cosplay right hurr
HOLY HELL WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS CAPTCHA BULLSHIT
Panama or Brazil is my goal or Venezuela any place away from the iron grip of capitalism is good for me bonus points if I can tan naked and surf daily there.
Does this mean you get off on guys paying you is that how the toy works or is that how camming works the whole thing confuses me would be easier to just get a vibrator?
I've heard about putting something bad tasting on them so every time you want to it's too gross. I dunno how I stopped biting mine, it just kinda happened all of a sudden.
Seeing the girl made me wanna buy the game 'cause I like being able to play as girls. Also I heard it's fun.
>gonna cosplay one of the soldiers in the war on pants one day
Dear God please let Bernie win fucking rebublicunts it's not enough to fight the lgbt movement and any social progress for years now they want a landmark made to honour their racism. Do your part and vote Bernie or Hillary in Faye we got to fight da powa.
Am I the only one that gets dysphoric if you have to play as a male character in a video game? As far back as I could remember I'd always always pick the girl character first.
Maybe I just have autism .-.
I've heard fifty shades isn't rlly a good representation of real bdsm relationships tho, haven't read it myself
we have this one that has like a cut-out pattern so it leaves a specific shape imprinted, s'pretty neat
that feel besides the he
kayla and some anon have tried a few times, no one cares
my partner actually just got this bitter-apple spray for our new puppy in case he starts chewing on something he shouldn't, so like maybe try something like that?
Glad to hear the dawgs perked up a bit. I have a 3 seater and a 2 seater. The 2 seater is practically exclusively the dog's as I rarely have people around.
I meant actual pizza for actual pie, it's all just jokey shizzle anyway
>tfw will never be a 60s trophy wife who gets cucked repeatedly
Only time I chose to play a male when I got the choice was my first run of ME2 because I liked male shep, and then self inserted as femshep.
I don't mind if I'm a male in an FPS or something, they're always just a faceless character anyway.
>put Grace in for FE:A
>GRACE is always in caps
If someone ever starts yelling at me I'm just gonna remember videogames, thanks Nintendo.
The problem with couches and dogs is the hair and claws. If it's a fabric couch it'll be a hair magnet, if it's leather she'll rip it up.
Oh, I'll make that trade!
i would prefer that a fiscally responsible candidate is elected rather than someone like bernie sanders who has no idea what hes proposing financially but "supports" me and people like me. for the most part, the only people who are very vocally against the whole lgbt thing are old and will be gone in a generation. today, at worst, 30s or younger people simply do not care, or are very supportive of lgbt causes. of course you have your random homo/transphobic redneck but they are not even close to a significant portion of people.
>crush on cute transgirl
>ask her out at the end of the semester
>first date, i grab her hand
>she tells me to not, she is dysphoric about how large her hands are
>ok nbd we do the arm in arm thing
>fast forward tonight, we're cuddling
>i want her cutie booty
>grab her ass, she likes it
>she tells me to stop, my body triggers her
Are you fucking serious?
You're a cutie, anon!
It wouldn't bother me if it's forced unless it was some kind of sex game, but I generally prefer characters that are at the very least non-manly. No massive muscles, chest hair or beards, please.
I saw but I don't see how after seeing my ugly mug you continue to hugbox me ang.
I'm pretty sure everyone here mains girls it just feels wrong any other way thankfully we have games where this is possible growing up there weren't many female vidya characters that we're that cool.
>tfw won't play bloodbourne cause main chara is male. I feel like a scrub guess I'm waiting for ds3
awh thats a shame, long hair is a lot of work but its worth it in the end, mines about halfway down my back and im really glad i kept it
Stupid Australian here
tell me, what makes Bernie so popular?
Hillary was the shoe-in but she started getting dragged through the mud really hard. Republican candidates are a joke. Bernie sounds good at first until you start to question his economics and such. If he were better at those he'd probably be 2% better than the 38% he's at right now, what we need is a redistribution of votes from the top 1% because they %%%%%%%
>The problem with couches and dogs is the hair and claws. If it's a fabric couch it'll be a hair magnet, if it's leather she'll rip it up.
>Oh, I'll make that trade!
Mine are leather and she doesn't seem to scratch them. Then again, it's old leather anyway
never tried it,
it can be cool to get stuff in silicone,we have so many molds for stuff, but with a paddle more classic materials work well,
if u do get the silicone one tho then the main benefit I can think of besides general silicone durability would be it working well with wet-impact
mine was near buttlength ;-; now just shoulder... the wait is killing me :( prolly gonna get a wig while i wait, and the one ive been looking at looks extremely similar to how my hair was anyways, just with proper bangs
Sounds like you got an extra crazy one.
He doesn't appear to be rapped up in all the political BS that usually goes around in US elections
Eh, most people play as their gender in most games. Why not us play as the gender we feel?
He'll wants to give everyone a pony, he's got my vote.
Not a chaser, just realized she was adorable when I did a group project with her.
You I like you, we think alike.
>each guy gets to sign his name or write how many times he's fucked you. While your master makes you go out side in public so others can see how many guys you can please.
advertising is really important in his line of work.
He's very left-wing and pulling the democratic party further left so some people like him due to that.
Other people like him cause he's kind of a meme outsider non-establishment thing going on so he got all the crazy Ron Paul people who didn't go for Trump (the meme candidate of the right).
>having the kind of body needed for a cosplay like that
That must be nice. I don't think I'd ever be comfortable doing any kind of cosplay that required showing my skin or face, not to mention that there aren't many female characters that would make sense at 6'4". Kigurumi sounds kind of fun but again my height would make that difficult I think.
H-Here Grace. I found this pic for you and kiwi.
he is a big fan of increasing taxes on things that make literally no sense, such as the ftt, and he is also a big fan of gibs me dats. he makes close to zero since when talking about anything relating to economics in general but he is pretty socially progressive which a lot of people really like.
not so sure why everyone hates trump so much for the wall thing. having insecure borders is objectively a bad thing, just as bad as having such a large number of illegal immigrants in the country. they have a crazily detrimental impact on the economic landscape of the country. that said, the process to become a legal citizen definitely needs to be looked at.
Morning mtfg, how's laifu today <: ?
>tfw -29*c outside, have to get to school in an hour
>no jacket to prevent hypothermia and to look like a qt eskimo with
wish me luck lol
oh wow im pretty jealous, ive wanted hair that long for a while, did yours get knotted at all?
I'm sure theres plenty of good cosplays out there for you if you dont want to show skin.
Dez nuts will make a fine president,
Dez nuts in office 2016.
He wants us to be able to go.to college for free so that our money is not wasted on a egarious education.
He will hold wall street accountable and work to bridge the class divide in our country he is against the monopolizingly catastrophic federal reserve and crooks behind it. He for the dismantling of the criminal anti drug laws that fill the prison industrial complex here in America.
Hope everyone's doing okay. Pretty glad someone's gone but I'm worrying about anon that posted with gun. Goodnight thread thanks for being here.
Huh? I don't mind if there's not a choice but if there is I'm going with something cute and non-threatening, is that wrong?
Wut??? It's the 1st time I've got involved in the discussion about moving to 420 or anything like that.
I've actually got a hosting package already, it came bundled with game servers and VOIP that I rent.
So after going through my own gender crisis, and knowing a lot of them, I think I understand trans women pretty well. I am convinced that it's mostly psychosomatic, and there are many different triggers for it.
One common trigger seems to be an emasculation fetish, which leads to a bunch of confusion about gender. Another trigger I have seen crop up is the a belief in the superiority of women, coupled with a certain kind of narcissism. A rejection of traditional masculinity can lead to it as well, especially when it is heavily internalized. Another one is the desire to be met with affection or desire as opposed to fear.
So anyway, my question is, what are the triggers for trans men? I have known very few. For one of them, it seemed to be that he hated being treated like an airhead when he presented as female. What else?
Hilary is basically the only choice, I really don't care about the president outside who they nominate for the Supreme Court, if they're going to start a war, and how they'll use executive powers.
I don't need a republican using executive action to remove trans protections, a stacked republican court to remove our rights, and then have them allow us all in the military, force draft us as men, and get sent off to the next republican war to die
Oh wow that's so lewd but so saved for future embarrassing, thank you.
Sadly I'm stuck with my parents for the time being. Hopefully Kiwi and I can get a place together in the near future.
With the increase in good girl characters lately surely there'll be someone any of us could pull off reasonably!
I'm sorry but this country was built by the backs of illegal immigrants hell half of Mexico used to be a part of the united states we stole this country from the native Americans that called this country their home for generations to have the audacity to police the border the way we do today is ignorant and besides if you we're living in a squallor I'm sure your opinion on that matter would change.
there is some interesting history about this and a few studies too ...
guys have no problem playing females, and sometimes do so exclusively, even creating entire female player personas for the character and faking it to their online "friends" which can go quite far ... yet still be a heterosexual male lol
apparently women are more inclined to recreate themselves in a game and slowly adapt to the setting instead
I just didn't do it because I don't think there's the critical mass of people required to actually host a board like that. /lgbt/ is sort of the place for this honestly, there's such a thing as good enough ;~;
This is like a Freudian view of psychology, little kids don't think like that, no respected researcher believes that. I was super young and was just gated from everything I was allowed to do when I was young because I was suddenly labeled a boy when I got a little older, there's no sexual/love/fear in my initial reactions when I started not identifying as a boy.
>already talking about moving in with kiwi
oh lord. Is this some side effect of hrt? Why is it that all transgirls seem to be in a rush to make terrible decisions? Im not trying to hate on you or anything but you two havent even met in person. Relax.
Are you asking who I am? If so, I have no idea who that person is, I've only been here for a month or two
Pet sure that was the 1st time I replied to you, but this will be the last, don't wanna piss anyone off. Want something I'd wanna work on myself anyway, was just wondering if anyone had considered or tried it
>Another trigger I have seen crop up is the a belief in the superiority of women, coupled with a certain kind of narcissism. A rejection of traditional masculinity can lead to it as well, especially when it is heavily internalized. Another one is the desire to be met with affection or desire as opposed to fear.
Kind of hard to argue that these didn't have some role in shaping my identity to some degree, although I don't think any of them caused me to be trans. (I don't get the emasculation fetish stuff, though; I guess to have that kind of fetish you need to have been at least somewhat masculine in the first place?)
>Sadly I'm stuck with my parents for the time being. Hopefully Kiwi and I can get a place together in the near future
It's not easy when you're young, I didn't manage to move out on my own till my late 20's
awh it looks pretty cute, bet it woulda been crazy long if you straightened it, does it still curl like that now that its shorter? mine's a bit wavy at the ends now that its so long but when it was short it was really straight
It would be nice to live with her but obviously we want to meet first, and I need to consider how it will impact my own future. I want to go to college, moving out could and probably would get in the way of that.
Yeah, see above. My plan before Kiwi was to just keep going to community college until it's time to go to university to finish my degree and mooch off my parents as much as I can until then.
Your hair is kinda like a black version of mine if it were that long. Maybe next year!!
Yeah, I know a bunch of guys that play almost exclusively girl characters and that it is pretty common. It still always felt much more comfortable playing female characters. Maybe once i transition I'll feel the need to play females in vidya games less.
True I would prefer Hillary I don't get the hatred of her it's like people forget the Clinton surplus before bush squandered it. She has a good head for financial management and I'd far prefer the Clinton administration over trumps wall building, idiotic vehement racism and tho I haven't heard him say anything about lgbt I'm sure he would use his abilities he'll in office to make our lives hell.
Ohh what kind of tools.
>he decided to videotape his next party and have made wearing chastity and a vibrator a constant tool to get you ready.
He's made you a celebrity.
it was really long when i straightened it ;-; agh the regret
yeah its still really curly, it was naturally really volumous or w/e
my hairs really thick
also it was wet in that picture, nowhere near as poofy and frizzy as it gets
i hope it gets longer soon ;w; i hate looking like a twink
okay sweetie, this is going to probably clash with your world view, but its very, very clear that your ideology on immigration is based on platitudes rather than examination of history and statistics. i'm a double major in a technology field and history, and this country was 100% not built on the backs of illegal immigrants in anyway whatsoever.
the people who initially came to this country and created the foundations for all the great industries we lead the world in today did not come over here illegally. many of the first immigrants that came here were forced out by their homeland, or paid to come here. in that time, there were no laws in place to regulate immigration because the population was so low and the country was still not established enough for loads of immigrants to make a wide scale impact like they do now.
america was built my immigrants yes, but very few of them were illegally here. with any basic knowledge of economics and how much essentially wasted revenue hurts a country, it will be impossible for you to say something like "wow everyone should be allowed to come here no matter what, thats what people did before and it should be exactly the same now 250 years later!!!!"
>My plan before Kiwi was to just keep going to community college until it's time to go to university to finish my degree and mooch off my parents as much as I can until then.
Yup, everything comes with time, don't rush it :-)
Oh okay, you were saying someone else HAD done one before? If so, still know nothing about it lol
>remember the insides of tantan are quite warm.
o god what? ill keep that in mind thanks
it kinda surprised me and im super poor student so everything goes in a priority order.
dying is more affordable rn than losing credibility money wise and stuff.
Actually the English colonists did not arrive in America in compliance with Native American immigration law, ergo they were all illegal immigrants
As someone who dates a ftm his triggers were similar to mine. Being misgendered, seeing his body change in ways that upset him, constantly having people admire qualities that he found abhorrent ie your so cute feminine, etc etc. Sex was a land mine he felt bad about getting excited sexually hey just like me, when he got wet he wanted to feel something inside him but then felt terrible over having to do such a submissive act. I van tell this is bait but ftm ate pretty much the other side of the same coin no disrespect ftm go through a huge amount of shit like we mtfs do.
Bill and Hillary Clinton are different politicians with different politics. Her befuddling as secretary of state was troublesome, she isnt the economic mathmetician her husband is, and lest we forget, she was against gay marriage until like last year. Not to mention her backing of the NSA and spying in general.
that's not even close to true either. most of the original immigrants were run out of their country by their former governments and a fuck ton of criminals were also forced to come over here, and for the most part, they were welcomed by the natives. naturally as people understand how good life could be over here with a fresh start, more people started coming, people started bringing their slaves, and again, naturally, expansion was needed. this made both sides clash against each other fairly aggressively, until the whites freaked out and started the genocide because the conflict had gotten too huge and stopped the expansion of the country that was needed.
my therapist was telling me how great hilary was for being so openly supportive of the lgbt community and i nearly lost my shit.
some people are so willing to be supported that they won't even stop to consider the possibility that its not genuine.
I'm pretty sure the colonists are legit in taking over and establishing their own country on the original people's land by right of conquest, though. So really all illegal immigrants need to do to get recognized is beat the U.S. military in combat, sounds fair enough.
Emasculation is the sense of being "treated like a girl" in bed, i.e. submissiveness. I have met plenty of trans women who definitely did not experience this, even one who was dominant as hell and always topped.
I'm totally supportive of trans people and their right to transition, but I do believe what I believe regarding it. I think being trans is related to the whole idea of Inception: once an idea is implanted in your head, it can grow and spread and take over your mind.
Everyone who've I've seen has basically gone through the same steps: something triggers the idea, and it becomes an obsession. They'll ask themselves questions like, "do I feel dysphoric in my body?" and the answer is always yes, because it's a loaded question. They'll quickly being to hate the societal gender roles carved out for them, but the reason is simple: societal gender roles suck. If you don't feel attached to them, you'll inevitably hate them. They go on hormones, and experience new kinds of highs and lows. The highs they interpret as an affirmation of their gender, the lows they interpret as a result of outside factors.
That is what I have witnessed. Yes, I am judgmental of the mental gymnastics people pull, but I would also rather live in a society where they weren't necessary, and nobody would judge your identified gender. Given the society we do live in, I do understand why the gymnastics are necessary.
lol imperialist scum
why is there this huge gross assumption that the euros were right to barge in on an entire country because the inhabitants the inhabitants before them were by their own standards lawless? how can one man decide how another should live? who they should serve? isn't this an anti-thesis to the freedom the west so proudly proclaims to be the founder of? Everything were founded on as American citizens was first stewed in indigenous blood. I don't feel guilty, but I do feel disappointed. Were it to be that America was conquered by some other super power I wouldn't feel remorse. "We" absolutely have it coming. We've ruined the world, killed freedom. Traded it for oil and metal and electricity.
nah son. but grats on your....accomplishment?
You can't be that old right?
How is this worse? All the political talk?
But i've always felt like this i just didn't really have a term for it or really realize that wanting to be a girl = trans. No one put the idea in my head it was just there when i was young and always has been. I just repressed it and denied it until recently.
>I think being trans is related to the whole idea of Inception: once an idea is implanted in your head, it can grow and spread and take over your mind.
This is kind of what happened with me. I don't know how I could get rid of it besides transition, though.
>Trans woman who topped chaser confirmed
I highly doubt the ratio of topping trans vs submissive trans is that high your videos of Bailey gay are not the Bible upon which every trans person experiences. Its a cute concept but explain this bullshit I was 8 years old the first time I confessed I am a girl, before that I mostly assumed I was no different than my best friend rayann. I played with girls tried to wear feminine clothes I put on my moms wedding gown when I was five my mom even has a picture of it, I always loathed having to play with the boys and wearing suits by the time I hit puberty I felt something was very wrong with my body please explain how an eight year old performed the mental inception you so clearly believe fostered my identity?
I hear about people who did this when they were a child, yet as far as i can remember i never really felt like doing that stuff. I only ever got depressed about my gender after puberty. Though i do have a couple memories of me and my friends playing pretend and me insisting my character was a girl.
Sometimes i don't feel trans enough and it makes me doubt myself. But eh i try not to worry about it.
post your skype and we can talk all about it :3
I don't need validation from you.
Nobody asked you.
Cartman is probably too stoned to post on the downlow rn
There's clearly something that causes some types of gender dysphoria to manifest early in some people but wait until puberty in others. I wonder if there is something fundamentally different in the underlying cause, or if it's the same bomb that just happens to explode at different times for different people.
I wouldn't worry about it I don't cop the trannier than thou attitude. The fact that you felt something was wrong fgoing through puberty definitely indicates your solid in your identity besides as girly as I was as a child my father beat that out of me I'm now far too masculine to ever be a woman and don't know why I even try.
From the biggest hun on this board God I'm pathetic tho trans people who top do bother me like Bailey ugh I don't get why any girl would want a dick let alone use it on women or men kinda strange or fap for hours it's just weird to me if you identify as a woman would you want to get survey and remove the defect?
>I'm now far too masculine to ever be a woman and don't know why I even try.
The only reason I can come up with for myself is that giving up and accepting the impossibility of the task seems even more horrible.
gender dysphoria is a disorder just like any other mental disorder for the most part. it can onset at different stages of life for everyone based on environmental effects in childhood, severity of the symptoms, etc. you shouldn't feel bad because you might not have experienced symptoms earlier than someone else or at the same level of severity.
if what you are doing makes you internally happy, its probably a good thing. (unless you are a psychopath that wants to murder people and needs to be institutionalized xd)
Maybe it's like if i was a girl as a child i would've been a tomboy so as a child there wasn't much dissonance when my gender identity. But once puberty hit my body didn't develop as i expected it would.
You'll make it and i'm sure what ever damage he did i'm sure can be fixed and you can be you .
Like beginning of Middle School, so that is like 12ish right?
Yeah I'm pretty sure and i've been alot happier. I've gone from thinking about suicide at least 5-6 times a week to basically none since i came out to friends and family and have started to work on it. Just still feel like such a crazy thing and i haven't even started on hormones or anything.
not gonna post it here~
send yours to firstname.lastname@example.org
Giving up means my death and it's pretty insurmountable hrt cannot change me years of systematic abuse and a flawed genetic structure will probably kill me one day. I can't even find a place to get hrt since Spiro did Jack shit. If I passed I'd never consider it but live one year as a hun and having everyone in your life stop you from expressing who you are and you'd be surprised how easy it is to become this dull souless caricure of what people want you to be.
i might, i might not well see
i have a feeling you just want to fuck me
yeah, i get a lot of shit from some of my older online video game friends since they found out that i came out even though we don't talk that much. hell, even when i told my mom for the first time, she asked me how i was going to deal with all the big bad people out in the world that would be mean to me.
despite all of this stuff that seemingly should make my life harder as trans, i'm still the happiest i've ever been now that i don't have to hardcore pretend about everyone even though i'm still at the very first part of transitioning.
i don't really understand what you are saying, but i feel like as long as you aren't totally lacking in self-awareness, we will all make it. hons are usually the people with no self-awareness that try to flaunt their femininity like they are 18 year old girls when they clearly shouldn't be.
my dad was bipolar and i apparently have a pretty mild case of the same, but for a long time i was always trying to figure out what was wrong with me. the alternative is going through checklists and always diagnosing yourself with whatever you are reading because you are trying to find answers.
these problems are the reason that psychiatrists are kind of a necessary thing because its hard to fairly diagnoses your own mental state.
He didn't even do it consciously and he's become really supportive but now society treats me like a freak with my features and body um.going to need tons of surgery to be considered remotely normal.
I don't know how you did it Faye but your lucky at least that your genetics have no fucked you to the point if no return I could be a double for caitlyn Jenner no fuck she even looks better than me.it's hopeless and can't get hrt I keep thinking of jumping off this building that a a couple miles from my house but don't because the pain it would cause my family.
In all honestly and as dumb as it sounds, I think /d/ helped to cure me of what genital dysphoria I had; after seeing enough dickgirl drawings I think my brain started accepting that maybe there's no fundamental problem with being a girl that happens to have a penis. I probably never had very severe dysphoria about genitals in the first place, though, probably I was just feeling bad about it because I felt like I should because of thinking about biology rather inflexibly; I doubt this approach would work for someone that really does have dysphoria about their penis hardwired into their brain.
maybe i do, maybe i dont
[spoiler]maybe i think you're cute and just want to get to know you better :3[/spoiler]
> the alternative is going through checklists and always diagnosing yourself with whatever you are reading because you are trying to find answers.
>these problems are the reason that psychiatrists are kind of a necessary thing because its hard to fairly diagnoses your own mental state.
All I know is for some reason even though I'm not ultra dysphoric or whatever slowly turning into a girl is making me happy and being a guy makes me feel bad most of the time.
>but don't because the pain it would cause my family.
Iktf, I've wanted to an hero for around 20yrs. I tried and failed about 4-5 years ago and seeing how much it hurt my mum makes me feel so damn guilty it's unreal, more self loathing on top of the self loathing I feel already
>Maybe it's like if i was a girl as a child i would've been a tomboy so as a child there wasn't much dissonance when my gender identity. But once puberty hit my body didn't develop as i expected it would.
Yeah, I've had similar thoughts. My dad says that I was a very boyish boy when I was little and that 'typical' trans people aren't like that, but I honestly can't think of anything I did back then that would have been strange for a tomboyish girl to do either.
i think knowing someone that was basically a dickgirl for a while rubbed off on me some and i stopped really caring about my cock. will be removing my nuts though
its different for everyone i guess but having a penis doesn't bother me as much anymore
t-talk to me on here a bit first then
im boring why would anyone wanna know me
Yeah it's pretty shitty I hope things get better for you anon. I just saw how my mom reacted to my uncles suicide and my father's attempts at suicide and I could never do that to her. Also I'm fairly religious and I'm afraid I may go to hell if I committed sepuku.
For once you lot are actually making me feel a little more comfortable with myself. I don't really have dick dysphoria and my parents dont recall anything out of the ordinary in terms of gender from when I was a kid. Neither do I really. Stuff like that undermines my confidence that I'm trans.
you should go look up the "official" criteria for diagnosing someone with gender dysphoria or gid.
i used to be like grossly misinformed and told myself that i wasn't trans because i didn't feel like i was trapped in the wrong body or anything, i just was dying to be a girl and would pick being born a girl 10/10 times.
once you learn that its a bit of a different experience for everyone, and see that even though you might not feel "classically" trans, you still shouldn't feel like you aren't allowed to be trans or whatever.
I like you aomo, you seem grounded in reality and give some good advice. Hope we see more of you in the future.
I know any amount of "I believe in you" and "You'll make it!" might not help but at least you'll never be a hon because that is mostly a lack of trying imo.
Well we got a buncha new trips this night, we'll be the new generation of trips and eventually fall like those before us.
If it is making you happier then why worry?
Yeah same, and my sister was decently tomboyish and so was my mom when she was a child so maybe it is just genetic. I mean even when i transition i'll wear skirts and dresses sometimes but i see no reason to stop wearing jeans or my comfy grey jacket.
>I honestly couldn't tell you with any certainty. My mind is all over the place and has been for sometime now. It's hard to know who I really am or how I really feel anymore
i understand this quite a bit
enough that i could write several walls of text just partly describing it, but won't because i don't exactly wanna bring my problems here, but i know what it feels like to have a very loose grasp of yourself. i'm sorry you have to experience it too
My facial features for one.
The sheer trauma of trying to express myself after years of it being forbidden.
My voice it's deeper than Dr. Girlfriends
My ginoromous feet and height 5'11, Adams apple that is huge, broad shoulders and the fact that when living as a woman for seven months actively working on my make up voice and being on hormones not a damn person gendered me female I was a freak in a dress to them I'm not sure if I can do that again.
Being a hun is entirely genetic I've met older transtioners whom many would label Huns and they know how to use make up and don't have horrendous fashion senses even try to work on their voice but at the end of the day no matter how hard they try no one sees them as female they are the drag queens and it's not fair I hate that I will join that terrible legacy.
I'm 26 my clock has almost run out.
i dont really think you're all that boring, plus we've talked a few times on here already, i just dont trip
take a leap and add me, i think we could be pretty good friends at least
Normally I'd be happy to, even if it does become bloggy, but I'm about to try and get some sleep so perhaps another time.
Thx, I know exactly what you mean. Don't like burdening others with my problems, but if people wanna hear it, I don't mind so much, and at least here people are more open to that kind of stuff.
maybe! but usually i get bored of places and then leave after a few weeks or a month or whatever. you guys are pretty cool, sometimes it can feel a bit campy here though.
plus i don't really spend that much time on 4chan other than when im really bored. and i start school again next week and all of my classes are in the brand new atec building at my campus and its going to be really fun and i'm excited and all that stuff..
>tfw couldn't carry kiwi hard enough
I'll get us to e-sports some day...
well, fuck me
>maybe the lack of a clear self-identity is from experiences in life you have yet to go through.
this is extremely true for people who havent been exposed to a lot, identity issues coming from lack of exposure to a full pallet of experiences can inevitably lead to identity issues, its something i suffer from and can recognize
a lack of shit having happened to you to give you a foundation can and does lead to several identity crises
sorry friend, i'm a paranoid little snowflake
maybe adopt a trip and stick around so i know who you are? up to you
Its impossible to trace that lol but it may have been milky?
Aw thanks I wish the rest of the world could be sympathetic it's really hard having a girl telly you you don't look like a Nicole when your buying a cute new dress hoping it would slightly cheer you up. Anyways I'm getting to depressed and stupid to stay on here so goodnight everyone sorry for being such a downer tonight. I hope you all have great weeks and find people in your life who see you as the beautiful women you are.
You could live as a guy and still take hormones / work on your voice / etc until you feel more comfortable trying again. That might be the least stressful way to go about it. (I'm actually really impressed that you went ahead and tried to live as a woman so early on; I've not done so in the seven months I've been on hormones, I'm too scared to tackle physical and social transition all at once.)
I just noticed my hrt appointment is at 11 am. Why did I do this to myself oh god, why didn't I schedule it in the afternoon...
>impending doom by blood test is even sooner now
Borderlands tomorrow though!
Yus, and thank you!
im assuming you were that one person, if not oh well i was lost anyways
i should go to bed
Aww night Holly, I hope you can find happiness one day.
GL! and grats on hopefully starting that stuff soon. I still need to set up an evaluation appointment with my hospital. And even after that it'll probably be a while. Also going to have to take a two hour bus ride to get to the closet hospital under my insurance.
i don't know what you meant by i won that round ms bond either, i assumed you were the person asking me for my skype earlier
my first day too
I get the fun of taking an hour train ride some ungodly early hour of the morning, and then taking the subway or a cab up to north Chicago. I won't get my prescription for another week or two, they want me to do an appointment with a "trans advocate" after this one, and then I'll meet with the doctor again and get my prescription or denial. I have no idea if insurance will help here or not, I'm paying entirely out of pocket until I come out.
What's stopping you from setting up the appointment though? Just do it and get it over with!
No, I've not even tried yet. I'm going to wait until I at least have my facial hair gone, my initial laser consultation isn't until February so I've got quite a while to go. I'm basically resigned to the fact that I probably won't ever be able to pass, but I'd like to at least not come across as a bearded lady circus freak, you know?
Well i did the research today and then was busy with school =P. Still nervous to call in though but I've been trying to get better at dealing with things. But the encouraging words help! Thanks!
Ok, I'll try and keep things simple and brief though. For most of my life I've been an outcast and I've known I'm different, just not sure in what way I'm different. I was mercilessly bullied through school and my parents splitting up when I was around 11-12 screwed me up royally. I've spent so long suppressing things and faking things around people to try and fit in, current masks for different people. I always thought it was just depression and I'm currently diagnosed as such after a major breakdown when I was 31. I've now come to the conclusion I'm probably some level of non-binary but I still suspect there's more serious mental health issues. I think my "depression" may actually be bi-polar (type2?) and also scared I may actually have schizophrenia. I really don't know anything for certain, it's all just possibilities that I'm now finally discovering through self questioning and I need to go see someone about this stuff, but I need to try and figure out just exactly how I truly fell about things first before I can properly put it into words to someone who could actually tell me what's wrong with me
yeah, everything you is true. middleschool was pretty much the sealing point of my life to the point it is now, but im moving forward. moving forward i am though, things still have yet to 'click' on the inside, i can tell because i still feel some kind of circuit isnt connected on the inside yet. whatever, though.
way to give your words the weight of air lmao if you were trying to make me feel bad i dont even know what kind of context that fucking comment was in
if you are going to a place that normally deals with trans people, just remember that they really really don't care about you. like obviously they are there to help but you are just like everyone else that goes in there for the same thing. you aren't special to them. they probably won't even remember you.
knowing that made it easy for me.
>Still nervous to call in though but I've been trying to get better at dealing with things.
I was really really nervous too but I just decided I had had enough waiting and being afraid and worrying and I was gonna do it right then. I called them and they were much nicer than I expected and the call went super smooth. They were even kind when I made mistakes! So I think you should do it as soon as you can, it'll go well and you'll feel happy you did it.
I'll let Kiwi answer that.
Thank you. I hope so too, but if all I eventually do is reach a point where I can be respectable and look, sound and act vaguely feminine and not creep people out too much in the process, I won't be at all upset.
It isn't strictly a trans help place, my insurance (Kaiser if you know of them) have hospitals around and i'll have to call them and set up some the appointment. But that does kind of help.
Yeah i know i need to get it done, I don't have much to do tomorrow so i'll probably call in and try to set it up tomorrow. I'll still be stammering a little bit >..< but i doubt they'll be a-holes about it.
You really didn't get that?
Alright then, I'll hold you to it~.
I don't think you're schizophrenic, I can relate to at least half of what you say and comprehend it all
a friend of mine has suspected schizophrenia as well describing similar things to you but i don't think he is, i think a lot of things can contribute to confusion and how we as people react to depression (depression, although a mental illness can also be a sign from your body that something in your life simply isnt right) can literally mask itself as several disorders. a lot of people here are probably actually pretty healthy at their core foundation, but sometimes things that are 'out of place' can really fuck things up and sort of give you.. phantom disorders, i guess. its all just the accumulation of bullshit
>not third worst girl
Its glorious Neeners
>why you suspect schizophrenia
Some of the symptoms I've read about, flattening of emotions for one, along with a few others, also starting to realise some episodes I've had in the past that I just put down to being blind drunk, May actually have been psychosis attacks.
>you should definitely seek counselling
Obviously that's gonna be needed, but I think psychologist will be needed before therapist.
>you should really live your life for yourself and nobody else
Logically, I know that, even tell others the same thing, but it still doesn't stop my actions of "wearing masks"
>That's some linkin park-tier lyrics I just typed out here.
Heh, s'all good my fellow anon
how could we not be when we are discussing kiwi being a bottom
Oh I get that believe me, it's why I'm in no rush to say I'm definitely this way or that way. I'm almost 37 now and I've always just forced myself to get on with life until my breakdown. So now looking back on my life I'm not sure what is and isn't real about me, what have I repressed, what have I thought was real but really it's just been me convincing myself. Either way it's a good thing I'm finally examining these things about myself and not just burying my head in the sand
it's ok i'd just rather not talk about those kinds of things here
my handegg team fired their coach and i'm depressed about it.
i'm also being told by some people that i might have legit comfort issues with sex and its not necessarily a libido problem and thats also depressing
otherwise i'm ok tho idk. i got called cute and female multiple times today which was nice.
>So now looking back on my life I'm not sure what is and isn't real about me, what have I repressed, what have I thought was real but really it's just been me convincing myself
i'm doing that too
pretty much a lost child
everyone post music you're listening to rn
Im just listening to Total Biscuit ramble about the Occulus rn
>want me to beat up the others bothering you
Kiwi Defense Force go! Together we will protect her smile!
Hi, Im doing okay! How are you doing Kit?
Leave her alone, shes not gonna answer~
Okay fine, Ill just lovingly embarrass you a little with affection!
>grace will beat up any bullies for me but ty
Hey I can take teammates with me if I want to!
Oh, 'Pie' wasn't supposed to be part of the name, I just generated random tripcodes starting with 'Joan.' and picked one that had something resembling a word for the rest; maybe I should choose one that ends in something different.
up to you i sle;pt fror 12 hours and i feel dead please help.
>every good player is going to be hurt forever
>the decent players that aren't hurt are almost all free agents
please don't remind me :x
i guess i could be a browns fan or something tho
i think if i catch you i have to take you to a hospital or something jfc
>team stocked to their dicks with talent on both lines
>fucking darren mcfadden had a 1k yard season in like 8 games
>prime spot in the draft to pick up a new qb to start learning behind romo
>stability at coaching and coordinator positions
pretty sweet imo.
i am rn im melting ;__;
p good just tired and mb going to take a nap soon, also really hot @ @;
umm kinda too hot to be cozy rn but i might get there hopefully. also nice 7s
ugh that kinda sucks i hope you manage to figure it out jade ;~;
idk but i feel like i might have something similar tbqh
i actually like totalbiscuit's reviews and stuff, although he's kinda bias i agree with him on a lot of things
i was watching that yesterday, are they playing any fun games? i think i fell asleep to some black guy playing sonic while the chat was being racist
i actually have that album on vinyl desu, only 10 copies in the world
am i hipster yet
It's cool, I don't feel interrogated at all, and on here is one of the few places I fell I can truly open up about a lot of my issues due to the anonymity. You're right in what you say about society not being fit for everyone to be totally themselves. There really aren't any special occasions, it's an near constant thing, mainly out of fear of being shunned and treated like some kind of weirdo like I always was when I was younger. It's not even desperation to be liked, just sick of being hated on so much.
Seriously fucking sux don't it? I'm sick of the battle now though, so I think it's glad I've at least finally reached this point now rather than later and getting worse
i really need to fix my comp up so i can run Autumn Aurora
>tfw get called to wild man territory to clean up a pack of dogs, and end up having to take out the entire areas worth of bandits
good times, i love stalker so much
the 'forest' level in Lost Alpha was super cool imo, LA couldve used more population but the map was incredible
im sick too friend, very sick. stay strong. go out there and be the goddamned best.
shouldnmt even be that hard to catc h me honestly id probalbly run into a wall or sometihng i f i actrually tried to run. i hope youve been ok for the most part i just slept a bunch i wish i had motivation. i should probably ask my parentsd to help me see a doctor but fuck
yeah our defensive line would be good if any of them could go a year without getting hurt or being suspended.
i mean maybe we are in a good spot but we are talking about jerry jones and the dallas cowboys here so i'm sure it will always be fucked up someway or another..
yep! i have an old emmitt smith jersey i wear when i watch almost every game with some cowboys leggings i own
sundays are always so comfy. until we lose then i spend the rest of the day mad.
hey. im fine.
i was just being an attention whoring cunt, per usual. sorry if i scared people. i think im fine now.
i just need some sleep now.
thanks for your support. i was kind of surprised. i posted here because i was expecting people to jeer me on, but everyone just showed me concern and kindness more or less instead. thanks for that.
I have a Witten and I just got a new throwback Dez for Christmas. About around week 7 I stopped being mad and learned to accept the depressed life. Should get me some Cowboys leggings tho. I wouldnt worry too much about ol JJ since Stephen is taking over and hes been drafting great for the past couple of years. Just gotta wait and see if Jerry pulls some bs to get Manziel or RG3. This is /sp/ right?
>got off work at 10
>got home at 11
>have to be at work at 8
>have to leave at 7
>have to get up at 6
>can't sleep because I got up late for the night shift
Whoever wrote this schedule sure does hate me. bet it was my girlfriend's dad.
Naps are love, naps are life~
I agree with him on a lot of stuff, I like that he does his research and tries to be the best he can for consumers, and of course.
>That British voice
Oh my god I love British accents so much.
Im a Stalker virgin, I need to play any of them still. :c Maybe I will in a bit!
I WILL STAND TRIBUTE FOR MY KIWI
6 inches like everyone else lel
I felt bad for my shift leaders when I was working, they would be there like 11~12 and then be back at 7 in the morning to open.
I have fears about being with men and an inferiority complex with females. using my genitals grosses me out but i'm probably fine with butt stuff but anyone i could do butt things with would probably terrify me just to hold hands with. i was manhandled a little during early day experiences and its shaken me or something idk.
i'll be fine. don't ever be worried about me, i've been through the worst of it already. just trying to figure out my sex problems i guess? idk.
yea i'm pretty athletic i could probably catch you. i wonder if anyone at mtfg could beat me in a footrace?
and yea talking to parents is hard but you prob should.
dont be so pessimistic. at least you arent the browns. or worse...the eagles!
yes this is /sp/
at least the mavericks have pleasantly surprised me, and the stars are amazing. i guess that makes the cowboys being sucky okay.
wew lad i second this
if i was from philly i would probably just kill myself i think. i can't fucking stand the entire city, people from that city, or anything related to the city.
im triggered right now thinking about philadelphia actually
whats with you alwyas wanting to beat ppl sheesh. i cant run at all i had shin splints rly bad at one point because i voerworked my body bvut at least i got painkillers out of it woo. i wish i was athletic id like to have a way to take my midn off things apart from listening to music and shitposting. anwyas i hope you have a good night(?) im not good at timezones.
idk but i am just really shy when it comes to guys at all. i like the idea of cuddling and stuf with them but im really afraid of sex desu and im not interested in girls rn at all soo idk . i dont even mess arround with that stuff by myself cause i tried it like once like halfway through last year and it hurrrrrrrrrrrrt and im too scare to do anything again (also i was super careful about it as well) so yeah idk what im goiing to do if i ever manage to get a bf.
>go out there
Therein lies another problem, since my breakdown I can't go out by myself. I can't go anywhere without my dog or a member of my family/friends.
Sometimes that, yeah, but also people just find me weird and odd I think.
>Oh my god I love British accents so much.
There's some massive variety in regional accents over here, even for such a small country.
I love the fact he's so pro-consumer too. I think he's a pretty top dude 2bh
Can we stop the talk about dick sizes, it's making me wanna brag lol
well heres a hint
low crouching and leaning around cover is GOD, your lifespan will increase drastically
ive seen so many people post videos of stalker and not one of them knows how to lean
And you fucking hate philly just like me. A girl after my own heart. What a joy it was to watch Murray suck ass this year tho and McFadden get 1k+
>since my breakdown I can't go out by myself. I can't go anywhere without my dog or a member of my family/friends.
ouch, i have this exact problem too. i wish i had practical things to say.