anyone else here have a sister or brother?
how well do you get along with them?
mine is in a state of denial about me being trans.
• Informed Consent Providers:
• Makeup Tutorial: http://imgur.com/a/JO33K/
• MTF Info Dump: http://pastebin.com/36HC6ZmT
• Size charts: http://www.americanapparel.net/sizi http://www.nationalworkwear.com/siz
• Transition timelines: http://imgur.com/a/qWpxv
• Voice Training: http://pastebin.com/dgipdsge
• Articles, Studies and General information about Questioning, Transitioning and other stuff: http://pastebin.com/CyW1dXV8
• Useful links about/for transgender people: http://pastebin.com/h1vLPxyV
• Transgender FAQ: http://pastebin.com/8QbKyShU
• Am I trans/trans help threads archive: http://pastebin.com/CPzj0xv9
• Basic Trans Information: http://ai.eecs.umich.edu/people/conway/TS/TS.html
• Hormones, and so much more: http://www.transgendercare.com/
• For your doctor: http://transhealth.ucsf.edu/
>Where we are:
#transbians on Rizon
1. What is a transbian/trans-lesbian? → MTF transsexuals who are also lesbians
2. Isn't that just a straight guy? → No, orientation is who you go to bed with, but gender identity is who you go to bed as.
3. Are bi trans girls, welcome here? → Yes but please the keep boy drama in MTF General please!
4. Are cis lesbians/bisexuals welcome? → Yes.
5. Do trans-lesbians use their penis when they are pre-op? → Some do, some don't.
First for things get awkward between siblings as you grow older.
>only when it's other people
I'd date my sister if I wasn't too grossed out by my own body for physical, emotional or romantic contact with anyone. (Not that I think she'd be interested; she already has a gay drag queen fanfic-writing NEET online friend that I think she basically considers her boyfriend.)
Oh, siblings edition.
I have a brother. Ever since I was a kid he's always been that alpha as fuck bro-tier piece of shit. Swimming, water polo, wrestling, gym, engineering, frat, steroids, homophobic... you get the picture.
Always trying to tell me how to do things.
He's probably the only person that I will never let know that I am trans because I know he'll go total jackass and try to use his fists to 'fix' me like he did a few years ago when he wanted me to join him at the gym and I refused.
Fuck siblings... they suck dick. I wish I was an only child so I wouldn't be compared to this stereotype piece of shit all the time.
I hope he turns out gay, like everyone suspects, so I can rub that shit in his face.
She's my step-sister, still, we lived together since we born... We started exploring each other's bodies when we were 12(me) and 11(her) years old... We started kissing, and stuff, then we finally had sex at 15-14yo. It was extremely weird, considering she was my first girlfriend and we kept it on secret until we finished high school... She met her boyfriend at second year Uni, we broke up, and never talked to her again... ;_; I miss her a lot.
I haven't told this story to anyone in real life...
Siblings? I got two younger sisters who are pretty sweet and are likely gonna be pretty accepting when I come out, and I have an older sister who wishes she were a dude but is semi-crazy and further in the closet than I've ever been so I don't think she's ever gonna transition. Younger sisters are super cool overall and fun to chill with. Older sister is kind of a crazy shut-in cunt.
I would kill my brother if he ever tried anything with me.
He only recently moved out... except he moved into another house that my parents own only 1 mile away so he visits a lot.
I think he's figured out how much I hate him since he doesn't talk to me very often anymore.
He brought his new girlfriend over a few weeks ago and she didn't even say hi to me or my friends when she walked by us in the garage...
Shit people are attracted to other shit people apparently.
Honestly, things were never simple with my sister. When we were kids, I was jealous because she got to do the things I wanted to do and get the clothes and toys I wanted, while I couldn't care less about the boy stuff I was handed. She was jealous because my parents' expectations were stacked on me and she felt she lacked attention from them.
I don't envy her, well, except for her boobs, but the effects of HRT and the massive weight loss I went through while killing myself has seriously worsened her body image issues. Last time I saw her, she told my mother there was no possible doubt about who was the most feminine in the family. She meant me and that wasn't said in a nice tone, so, well, complicated...
On the other hand, she was a complete tomboy as a kid, and I think my friends constantly grooming her helped her not ending up as a total butch.
Am I screwed, shoulder-wise? The right shoulder is a bit raised given I had to take the photo kinda awkwardly to both be able to see the screen, hold it, and press the magic button.
Yes I am aware I am shitty at taking photos with a phone
Be honest please.
I mean, the rest of my body is dainty (26-27 inch waist, decent butt, minor amount of hippage but enough to noticeably differentiate from the waist because lolafterpuberty, tiny bones, especially for someone that had crazy high testosterone, arms and legs are goddamn tiny, facial features are OK and definitely attractive enough post minor FFS. It's just these fucking shoulders I can't get past.
I haven't gotten surgeries done yet and I'm kinda flat, like all the girls in my family (no one wore bras or only wore sports bras until they gained weight from menopause because bras are uncomfortable, being something attempting to support nothing, when you're at or under an A cup)
Gah. I'm probably fucked then. My entire body is skinny and lithe sans my shoulders.
Why didn't I make this decision earlier. God fucking damnit. If I was only a couple years earlier I might have had nicer hips and more importantly, no goddamn pauldrons. Goddamnit, why?
Anyways, let's see... Do we have numbers to work with here? Kinda uncomfortable sharing a photo that... detailed. I suppose I could do it clothed but it's not very informative since I'm going to get an aug which WILL help. But honestly, if I'm doomed to not pass, I should probably stop while I'm ahead.
I clumsily and hastily measured myself, so there's a good margin of error here. Shoulders are something like 16, 17 inches total, left to right, straight through my neck. Waist is 27~ inches. Hips are, assuming I measured it correctly, around 34-35 inches, though alot of it is butt (all my fat goes to one singular place - my ass, not that I have much since I weigh like, 119 lbs while being 5'9").
Is that enough information or do you need a photograph? I'll get around to it tomorrow with a proper one, it's about time to go to sleep for now.
Okay, this is something you need to hear since this seems to be worrying you a lot. I have a friend who is a cis girl, whose shoulders are big. Like, about the same size as mine (and I did not luck out in the body department) despite being six inches shorter).
People are not going to scrutinise your shoulders with the express purpose of clocking you. Even if they are a bit guyish, plenty of cis girls are like that too (and that's what fashion is for). Even if your shoulders are broadish people will look at what you are wearing first.
It's okay, you'll be fine c:
All this talk about proportions and shoulders depressed me. I'm trying to fix my silhouette however I can, but with SRS coming, I'll have to interrupt that for months and I'm going to lose all progress. So, yeah, that's a downer. I hate my Quasimodo-like back.
I hate this time of the year. I'm always drowning in flashbacks. Usually the same over and over. And sometimes, something unusual showed up. Just went through my first blackout, at the time, I felt like I actually had died. It was sometime around the winter of '86. Cracked my skull open after jumping down stairs. Woke up in a pool of my own blood upstairs. I don't know why they moved my body. Life never felt the same afterwards. And I never was the same either. I always doubted whether I was really alive and I still was the same as before.
The next one was general anesthesia, for surgery in a very old-fashioned clinic. It was terrifying because when I sniffed ether, I was always careful not to take too much and pass out, and with that mask on, I had no choice. And then, back in high school, that one was deliberate. Way too much codeine and alcohol. I'll never forget the screams of my girlfriend and the fear in her eyes as I woke up from that one...
And I don't know why, I have a feeling the next one will be the last. I already know the exact date. I'm not getting out of that operating room. At least not alive.
Don't know. I routinely need to be reminded that I'm alive and of who I am, so... I'm not sure I can ever be OK. Everybody keeps pretending and telling me I'm perfect and that I have everything going for me. Nobody's perfect, especially not me.
Looking at the pics I took on new year's eve. I don't think I'll need a better reminder that benzos and alcohol don't mix
There's nothing physically wrong with my brain. Nothing was been found there. Most of the damage was on the outside, so, there's a scar hidden under the hair, and the scalp just bleeds a fucking lot. At least that's what I was told. I never really wondered why I started stealing ether around that time. Looking back, it feels that I used that as a substitute of something I was missing. I just can't think of what that could have been.
It's just, as if I tore through a veil and everything started to feel unreal. Especially myself. Whenever I remember something, I'm not sure if it's a memory of something that happened, and then, if it's actually mine. So, well, I'm fucked up, may or may not be brain damage, but I can't help feeling I've died before. Yeah, that doesn't make any sense.
Was just invited to an evening of avant-garde performances. Unfortunately, I'd have a hard time going to Paris anytime soon. The author wanted to write a piece about me a couple years ago, but we were both completely drunk on champagne that night, so she probably already had forgotten about it the morning after.
>youngest of 5 from 2 families
>3 older siblings disowned me due to my "girlyness"
>2 of them i dont know period
>cousins joined in on the olders making fun of me
>childhood was hell
>now sitting here more alone than ever with family saying the abuse i suffered was "normal" because they want me to "man up"
I am. I'm just worried because I look amazing and proportionate from the waist down (if not a bit TOO lithe), then you reach my shoulders and it looks like someone ripped them from someone else's body and stuck them there. Hence the 'pauldrons'. I feel like the magic hip measurement is a bit deceptive, since, while it is noticeable, it's hard to compete against my shoulders given most of my build. I guess I'll take some photos in a bit. Women's shirts look awful on me right now, though part of it is because I'm flat as a pancake, so, again, disproportionate ;_;.
The thing is that there's a very noticeable difference from having broad shoulders as a cis girl, and boxy broad shoulders. If you have wide shoulders but they slant outwards, then even if they're super wide you're still fine because while they're broad, they're still femininely shaped - especially if you have hips to balance them. See: >>5508880.
Tbh you're objectively fine. Long hair + nice hips + slanted shoulders = no problem whatsoever based on what I can see. Not a fan of the skirt though, it doesn't emphasize your hips, butt, or waist to detract from the focus your shoulders will get, but rather, cloaks them.
Actually, that's just a light underskirt I threw on to hide my butt. I don't wear that other than under a proper dress or skirt. Oh, and here's the front view. More than fine for most people's taste given how much "model" comes up in random compliments, but I still hate my body. And I have a feeling I would have hated modeling had I been caught in that system. The word gives me shivers, actually. Besides, I have too much of a potbelly to really deserve those compliments. I just look awful without a corset and a push-up bra.
About the modelling thing - my body is male clothing model tier. Broad shoulders for my frame, lithe, no/low forward-facing fat (no spill), mostly small bones, little muscle, and no hips (until I started HRT, I had 30-32 waist, 32 hips). It's literally the quintessential perfect body for male clothing models because designs hang well, though I'm not overly fond of my face, primarily from the terrible testosterone-induced acne of my youth. But yeah, it was a legitimate possible career path for me, and one that piqued my interest, but this is vastly more important to me so I threw it away for a risky gamble at happiness.
Anywho, to you, my honest thoughts:
Waist is a bit unnaturally pushed in, probably from bandaging them. Should switch to a more proper balanced corset or waist trainer that will more evenly distribute pressure, and loosen it up a tad. Hips are perfect size-wise and balance your shoulders effectively (especially since they're almost in-line with them), but, again, since it's not tapered and rather starkly constructed, it looks unnatural.
Hair is nice but needs better care or moisturizing, I feel.
A larger chest would help balance your ribcage, which, at the moment is much more noticeable due to the unnatural tapering between the waist and ribcage.
Shoulders are fine and nicer than some cis women I know in real life.
You don't smile enough, but some FFS would go a long way toward making you more attractive and passable. The biggest problem here are all the grooves and such that makes sunlight highlight male features, rather than feminine ones, though I can't see your entire face so it's hard to tell where you're at. Lip and nose work alone would probably make you pass unless you have a really masculine brow.
That's an exhaustive list of all your major problems and strengths. Yeah, I'm a critical person, but I'm just as hard, if not harder on myself as other people.
Since melancholia makes it so I can't trust my self-image at all, I've learned to rely on others to give me a more accurate picture. But I'm beginning to wonder if there's some kind of glamour about me that makes people overlook my flaws and inflate my qualities. I mean, got a bra in the mail today and the nurse who opened the package to check the contents commented in a quite obviously envious way "90D, eh?"
I just don't see how anyone could think my objectively measurable 38A actually is a 34D, especially not someone who's already seen me half-naked and without a push-up... Yet she did and wouldn't believe me when I told her I unfortunately had a huge and quite flat chest... If I make others blind, how shall I ever know myself?
I think loneliness is driving me insane. I mean, you know, more insane... Sharing a life with one dead girl was fucked up enough but I'm OK with it since it was my own doing. I mean the sharing, not her death. But I have a feeling there's something worse and a lot weirder in my past, that I can't remember. Or maybe it's just all the PTSD talk going to my head. Don't know.
i like how the other day when a cute anon posted a pic of themselves with a gun every freaked out when they thought they were suicidal. heres someone asking if they should kill themselves or not and no one could give a flying fuck because we dont know what they look like. fuck you guys.
it is in your hands, if you're really in something that's inescapable, it might be the best choice
There's no getting better for me. I just hope that somehow this is yet another ongoing nightmare and that when wake up, everything will be back to normal, the USSR still there and everything you know...
What happens to the rest of us if we're all part of your dream and you wake up? I hope something good will happen for you, in any case.
I don't know. I just feel like a stranger in my own life, so maybe I'm the one who's but a nightmare figment. If so, the question is whose. All I know is that ever since I've felt compelled to dig into my past, all but my oldest memories, and I'm talking first half of the eighties here, have taken a muddy and phoney quality. Hard to explain how it feels with words.
Now there's a memory that comes back again and again, very hazy, dreamlike or drunk like. Having a dinner among the trash, accordion playing, drinking too much and there's that old lady on the other side of the table, looks like a pagan goddess, said she was a psychiatric nurse, and she explains to some guy, who didn't understand how I could come to some conclusions, that I crossed the mirror a long time ago and never looked back. Then she goes on about how she makes her own rose water and pours some in my hand.
The mirror thing never made much sense, but it quickly segues into the Kraftwerk song when I think too hard about it.
Look around for shelters where you might stay. Also free medical clinics for your illnesses.
Sorry, I was away from the computer. Tractor parts run.
No reason to divide Cypro. It's half life in the body is a few days.
>The mirror thing never made much sense
??? Think about it. Mirror, alternate reality. Me thinks you are deep into depersonalization disorder.
After awhile they will settle down some. It's just a sign they are growing.
>tfw had a guy check me out in the grocery store.
After he did, I realized I was semi model walking without thinking about it. For some reason it is natural for me to do it when in heals. I don't do it near as much when in flats. I also had my basket hooked in the crook of my arm, not held in my hand.
Anyone else feel envious/jealous of a girl while still being attracted to her? That's the only explanation for how I feel about most of the girls I'm attracted to and it's fucking weird.
Like any girl I've really fallen for I've also resented for being so damn cute and popular.
yes, often. You just have to let the resentment go and not dwell on it.
I can't help getting into that walking mode, even in army boots. Back when I was a kid, there was a fad at school among the girls, not even sure I'm not the one who started it now that I think of it, but, well, thing is we trained a lot, balancing books on our head, walking blindfolded on ledges, that kind of stuff. I still walk a perfect straight line faster than most people jog without even thinking about it.
Yeah, I know it's depersonalisation. What I don't know is when exactly it started and why I keep having that feeling that some...thing latched onto my mind at some point and never let go since. And I don't mean Chiara. I know exactly the what, how and why I did in that case.
But I guess you were right. There's an older trauma at play. Eight year old kids don't start doing drugs and getting nosebleeds out of the blue. I think that at some point the kid I was went through the mirror and never came back, just like the crone said. Question is, what filled in the void? What am I, really?
>No reason to divide Cypro. It's half life in the body is a few days.
What about taking it with food? It wasn't mentioned in the pamphlet that came with the pills so I assume it's take whenever but thought I'd ask.
i don't really like my siblings.
they are very backwards even tho one of my older sisters isn't that backwards she always hints about me being gay and shit and it's annoying. it's like i don't want to admit that im gay or something to her because she'll be like I KNEW IT but maybe im just fucked in the head. also my brother is a cunt
Going to do some shopping with a friend. Maybe there's still some interesting stuff on sale. Pity we don't have a proper camera here because her castle is the perfect setting for the clothes I'm wearing today...
>all this jewellery on your hands
It's just a little bracelet I cobbled together. I think it describes how I feel about life pretty well...
>What am I, really?
You're human. We have survival modes built in us. When one are repeatably abused, harassed, beat up, raped, we can learn to respond to it by separating the consciousness from the body. Have it happen often enough, and the separation starts happening at other times too. *HUGS*
Given how you want to end up on disability, now isn't the time to cure it. When it is time, get in and do some EMDR sessions. It isn't curing everything I have psychologically wrong, but it helped diminish a major obstacle to my eventual recovery.
The book "Getting Past Your Past" by Francine Shapiro, PhD is on how to do EMDR to yourself. I've used it to good success. Especially with some sexual trauma from escorting and earlier that I didn't want to talk about with my therapist. I still need to talk about some of that because there are other issues.
The book "The Body Keeps The Score" by Bessel van der Kolk is the best book I've ever read on psychological trauma, and it is written in laymen terms. In it he talks about many types of trauma and also responses to it. Two people can respond in very different ways to the same trauma. I'd also recommend reading it. It won't cure you, but it may help with insight on how you may personally be responding to trauma.
Captcha: they consider a canoe a kayak.
>It wasn't mentioned in the pamphlet
Likely means it doesn't matter.
I'm also a bit bummed over his death. NPR played some of his music, and I recognized it as stuff I liked. Sadly I don't know classical, modern or old, very well. Info I lost.
Bowie was interesting. I liked his stardust era music. Met him a few times.
Not my kinda place, though I read stuff there some when google finds a topic of interest there. I'm a member over there, but don't generally read or post.
That, I'm pretty sure I am. Or was. At the very least, I look the part. I know, on the internet, nobody knows you're a dog. But I'm pretty sure that if anything non-human posted on 4chan, it would immediately get doxxed and make the cover of all magazines worldwide. And I haven't made any cover recently. At least, I don't think I have.
Now, I might well follow your advice for once and I think I'll tell you why. Still, the friend I spent the afternoon with painted a very different outline for my future. Said someone wild at heart like me could only wilt trying to fit and live a normal, quiet life. That I couldn't thrive away from the hustle and bustle. And that what I should do after SRS was to move to a major capital, gather a new pride of wild sycophants and enjoy the chaos at the eye of the storm. So, really, that I should not go against my nature, just let the candle burn bright at both ends and go with a bang this time. Well, I have to admit it sounded tempting when she said it the way she did. Maybe it even did sound right, don't know, anyway, it didn't feel so.
Now, what you're saying feels right. And it bothers me. I mean, that friend is one of two who really know all there's to know about me these days. Still, it doesn't feel like she knows me. You do. I mean, feels like you've known me forever. And it's really creepy, you know, nobody gets under my skin like that (and don't see innuendo where there's none...) Then again, maybe you make everyone feel like that. I don't know. What I'm pretty sure of is that we couldn't possibly have ever met. I don't know you. I don't even know that much about you. Yet, you read me like noone else does. It's not about PTSD or being gifted, both my best friends also have that in common. It's something I can't pinpoint.
You're the voice of reason here. Should be pretty obvious I'm crossed with reason. I usually don't listen to such a voice and I'd rather not to. Yet, I feel like I should listen to you, why's that? Is it because I know deep down I shouldn't waste the second chance I'm given? Living like I'm already dead, because I am, that does sound better. Yet you make it feel wrong. Sorry to ramble that way, I had to get that out of my system. I should know better than to listen to a stranger on 4chan rather than to my best friend, but it's what feels right. So, if you have a clue, give it to me. Because I really don't have any.
Hi /tlg/, I wanna get this off my chest and there's nobody who I can talk to irl. I've been waiting for my referral to the GIC (NHS) for a year and four months now, and I'm going to enter university in September after taking a gap year that was *supposed* to cover the more embarrassing stages of transitioning. This really doesn't seem to be happening though. I don't know what to do with myself - I feel lonely most days, and dysphoria doesn't get easier.
I just want someone to cuddle me and tell me I'm pretty. Right now, I'm wondering what the point in living is, and that's without thinking about the future beyond hormones. I miss being too young to care.
Made a new piece of jewellery today. And I had someone comment about my voice, said it had changed a lot recently. I've had a cold, but that's not it. Picked up a weird accent, no idea where since I've hardly talked to anyone new recently. That's seriously weird... I mean, it's one thing feeling invaded by thoughts and memories that couldn't possibly be yours, I'm insane, so that's not even weird. But changes serious enough that people around me notice them? That's plain scary. And I don't want to talk about that to the shrinks. Not with SRS in sight...
Didn't remember I had uploaded some of my old photographs to Facebook... I used to have a large print of that one on my bedroom wall...
Those are pictures I took, I'm not in any of them. The chicken was real. And I haven't had FFS yet. Actually, I don't think I should until I get my sense of self back. I'm not sure the target looks would be my choice without it, and that's not the kind of surgery that's easily undone.
Yeah those didn't look much like what you've posted of you so I thought maybe they were a few years younger or something, I'm just dumb.
>until I get my sense of self back
That feeling of being disconnected that you mentioned?
I think there is like a syndrome where people think they are dead, I can't remember the name but have you looked into it?
Cotard syndrome? Someone mentioned it earlier. And well, that's what got me a diagnosis of melancholic depression with psychotic features. So, I already know. Doesn't help make me feel alive.
Right now, feelings of doom are rushing in. I'm drawn back to memories of ether anaesthesia and I can't help think I'm not leaving Chett's operating room alive. If I even get there. Earlier, I asked out of the blue to the shrink that they add HIV to my blood check. I know it can only be negative, yet I feel I'm dying, I died of AIDS. Complete discordance on all levels and it's tearing my mind apart as if shards, projections of other people were vying to take control of my empty shell.
Yeah, I checked and that's what I was thinking about.
That all sounds so horrible, I know it isn't much help but internet hug.
Isn't there anything that can help you connect to reality, to realize that you won't die on the operating room, that it's just your mind lying to you?
Don't think internet hugs would help. Actually, I'm beginning to think what I really need is complete seclusion, no human contact at all be it online or irl. No one to influence me in any way. Well, that and burning all the trash that's been clogging my memory. Not thinking of fire here. But I think electroshocks could be my way out.
No idea, not me. I kinda wish mine were good sized. They are continuing to grow.
Those feelioongs of being dead, etc. I used CBT techniques to combat that fairly well. That didn't phase the depression, but at least I wasn't always being so morose.
I wouldn't call it 100% cold reading, but some intuition in there too. Maybe a good 70% cold, 30% intuition.
Have you been taught how to reconnect the conscious mind to the reptile mind?
You're actually cold as ice, aren't you? I'm not getting into more therapy nonsense. Was so astonished to have someone click with and make sense of my fractured mind. Now I feel dirty and ashamed that I have been conned. I'll go to sleep...
Hey girls, how are you ?
I met a bi cisgirl on OKC, she's really cool and also extremely cute. First date is in a week and I'm pretty scared of fucking things up, but also thrilled.
I-is this you ?
I have to admit that I'm pretty jealous.
By the way, one of my boob seems bigger than the other one and it's really bothering me. I heard it's a common issue, especially amongst trans girls. Is there anything I can do ? Seems unlikely but..
I'm not sure how to let her know how vulnerable I am these days, I switch from overjoyed to borderline suicidal on a daily basis, probably a consequence of quitting mood stabilisers all of a sudden.
I probably should let people know about my issues on my OKC to avoid this kind of issues. Well I mentionned I was trans and had asperger so that should be a slight hint but some people deal with each of these just fine and also they're not responsible for everything I'm affraid.
>pretty awful ;_;
aww.. wanna talk about it ?
nothing to talk about really.
anti-dps don't do anything.
going out and meeting people doesn't do anything.
...not even having fun occasionally does anything.
I'm feeling more lonely than ever.
Are you aware that anti depressants can take a while to act ? I'm talking months.
I tried using them but I had some nasty side effects immediatly so I had to stop.
>going out and meeting people doesn't do anything.
I went to a bar with a group of friends just yesterday. I don't do that kind of stuff often because I don't have many friends and also I prefer meeting in a quieter setting, but I went, hoping to have some fun. I did, for a little while. Got really drunk from the one cocktail I drank because I'm that vulnerable to alcohol. It's pretty weird. But very soon I realised that I felt just as lonely as I did on my own. Even worse, feeling this lonely amongst so many happy people made it so much worst. I felt like they were all living some incredible experience and having fun, and I wasn't allowed. But I was there, talking to them. It's almost like I've grown so used to feeling lonely that my brain can't even feel anything else. I left the bar earlier than most and broke into tears on my way home.
Did you always feel this way ? If not, do you have any idea what caused it, or what was happening to you during that time ?
taking the anti-dps for quite a while now
>feeling this lonely amongst so many happy people made it so much worst. I felt like they were all living some incredible experience and having fun, and I wasn't allowed.
ayup, I mean I do have fun sometimes, but it pretty much wears off afterwards.
seeing other people cuddle is especially disheartening.
>Did you always feel this way ?
it just became stronger and stronger last year, because I got so much stuff out of my head regarding transitioning (meaning I progressed a lot, which is a good thing I guess) that I now have the capacity to worry about other things it seems.
Holy shit this so much.
Most of my RL friends are young trans or LGB folks, but everytime
there's a social event I don't see as much as a cuddle or a drunk kiss.
I don't know what's up with that. Also I'm starting to feel a huge need for non sexual physical contact. Okay sexual would be cool too but really, cuddles. Am I slowly becoming a cat ?
>it just became stronger and stronger last year
Same here. I had never been this isolated when I started transitioning, and although I lived a pretty lonely existence so far, it never felt really bad until this moment.
Do you live alone ? How frequently do you meet your friends ?
I'm off to bed because I need to, but I'll be there in the morning.
>Am I slowly becoming a cat ?
yes, yes, me too.
good night and sleep well :3
>Do you live alone ? How frequently do you meet your friends ?
I live with my dad, thing is I don't really have (m)any friends locally to speeak of, I pretty much just meet them at the meetups/events.
and the very few people I know closer I seem to get out of touch with so fast if they don't push me.
going to the lgbt group twice a month, trans group once a month, munch twice a month so doing something every week pretty much.
>tfw can start HRT by the end of the month
Someone give me some dank tunes for this feel
Have you ever considered I may have been through my own version of it myself? *HUGS* My life since 1987 has been a roller coaster.
No, just some lady. I never post myself on the internet anymore.
>one of my boob seems bigger than the other one
>Is there anything I can do
Half size silicone boob pad stuffed into the bra.
If mine end up lopsided, I may have the stem cell breast enhancement method done for a half size on the bigger side, and a full size on the smaller one.
I should also add that I do have a fair amount of concern for you and your condition. *HUGS*
Got some brand recommendations to check out on amazon ... I haven't even gotten to bottoms yet >_>
Well, don't. You and I both know we're no angels. This life's just a crapsack, so stop trying to be perfect. Nothing good can come out of that.
You won't read from me here and there's a good chance this is permanent. What I'm going to say is disgusting, but if there's one thing about myself I'll never doubt, it's that I'm a disgusting piece of shit. So just forget I even exist and and just let me wither and die in this hellhole. That I can trust you with, because I fucking know you can do it.
Well it's most visible when I'm naked so silicone's not really possible. I hope it doesn't get to the point where it's visible when I'm fully clothed..
Oh.. That's odd, I'm almost in the same situation. The trans group is nice, but most people are FTMs so I can't really discuss MTF-specific stuff.
Are you planning on living on your own in the future ? I'm not saying you *should* do it, I don't believe there's anything shameful about living with one's parents, but it can be pretty depressing.
I should be able to leave when I'm done saving for SRS in about 6 months. I don't have a job but I have autism bucks.. Hopefully it all go well and I can rent a place when it's done.
What can I do to test if I'm really trans or just having a phase, and how (if it's not a phase) do I accept that I'm a girl and stop feeling ashamed, or disgusted by it?
I don't think trans girls are disgusting or anything like that, but I feel differently about me, is internalized transphobia an actual thing?
>Grow your hair out
Already done, I like it but it occasionally makes me feel bad because I see the contrast between it and my masculine face.
>Internalized transphobia is a real thing.
What can I do about it?
You can do more, like a slight makeup, nail polish (even if you take it off afterwards), clothing, ect.. You don't have to consider transition as a huge gap you need to jump across, just take things slowly and you'll see what feels right.
I'm not sure, I'm at 10 months HRT and still have this problem.
Crap, sorry about that. Didn't mean to spook anyone. I knew it was bound to happen soon-ish, it was in the air. I was just hoping it wouldn't happen so soon. And no matter how familiar I am with death, that of others always leaves me deep into impotence and disbelief.
Spent the day crying because of it. I know that soon, the world I knew will be completely gone. Already feel like an alien today and it's only been a few decades. Everything and everyone have moved on and past me. I just don't belong anywhere anymore.
P!ease. Universal love and friendship come cheaper than even Malaysian jade. Those should have been left buried after '69.
Unless you're talking about the one kind of friendship and love that's even worse. People watching me from a safe distance as if I were as deadly as attractive, claiming all around that they loved me, yet never daring to make a move and say a word of it to my face? I've had enough of those to last me an eternity or two, to be frank. At this point, I'd settle for a dog if I wanted love.
It also makes me doubt if I really want it, because if I did I'd not feel ashamed about it, or maybe not, I don't know, maybe it really is internalized transphobia which is weird since I was never transphobic in the first place I think.
I have 3 younger sisters and they are all not just supportive, but were shocked it took me so long to transition.
I have actually been feeling this so much. I got so sick this weekend that I was emotionally a maelstrom until my girl friend came over and pulled me to bed and cuddled with me until I fell asleep. I've been needing physical contact a lot more in general to keep myself feeling happy and well. This is pointing me to the realization that I need to find someone I can live with in order to be healthy and happy.
Sorry for blogging.
Small steps is what I need, I'll probably start by shaving everything, see how it makes me feel etc, small stuff.
I did do that a few years ago, but I had no idea at the time, I do remember feeling much better after doing it but got made fun of (nothing too extreme) so didn't do it again.
sorry I'm not in the mood right now to think too much about it, maybe some other time .~.
So... I was messing with this Russian dude that I had a machining class with.
He's more stereotypical than he cares to admit, but I wanted to see if I could catch him trying to bullshit me...
I think I ended up just confusing myself.
/tlg/ please, tell me, what the fuck does "/k/ommando walk" mean?
When I walk my foot lands heel first but I don't really power walk or swing my arms that much...
I walk slower than all of my friends and family if that means anything...
Maybe it's the way I dress? I do wear boots all the time... and baggy pants...
I wasn't spooked, but then I knew he had cancer too. It was more the coincidence of it. I stopped listening to the radio today due to the constant reminders. They had me in tears a number of times.
I wouldn't call my love universal.
I think I have a couple strands of the stuff around here. ;)
>tfw off kilter all day.
Now that this stupid Bowie foul-up of mine is cleared, this is the end. If anyone here still had anything to tell me, which I doubt, the old CFH1578 Skype is still up for a little while before I delete it, and [email protected] is a throw-away email that should be up for a bit as well. Good luck to those of you who are still transitioning or still have to begin.
real hiki trans hours, who up?
okay listen pal, me posting a selfie and us both living vaguely close doesnt mean ur getting ur dick wet so u can chill.
lets be honest too, youre probably fucking ugly, uninteresting, and have shit all for personality. prove me wrong, faggot
"u just wanna get ur dik wet lol" jesus fucking christ you are sure full of yourself arent you
you dont even pass at all, you just look like a teenage boy, and those shoulders certainly dont help
but no since im not an obnoxious attentionwhoring tripfag and choose to post as anon go ahead and assume im ugly and uninteresting, i certainly dont need validation from you
listen here sport, i get paid for being attractive. i literally have dollar figures describing how out of your league i am.
sorry i wasnt desperate enough for you. you can think of me while you jerk it later if it makes you feel better, hun
>get paid for being attractive
don't confuse modeling work with fetishist porn that desperate degenerates wack off to, there's 50 year old hon drag queens right next to you on those sites if you're doing what I think you're implying you're doing
if you really seriously use prostitution/porn acting as a validation for yourself then you're even more far gone than I thought, you really should look into finding someone who will like you as more than a quick fap to a guilty pleasure fetish
Oh hai, /tlg/.
What are you doing today ?
I'm gathering information on SRS (Suporn)
and waiting for my first laser appointment, so I can shave my fucking face. They told me I had to let it grow so they could assess how many sessions I'll need.
It's gonna take some time and effort but eventually the shame will go away. Mine is slowly fading away.
It's cool. Let me know if you wanna talk about it someday.
I am the questioning anon, not doing very well because, well, obvious reasons, this bullshit doesn't seem worth it and I keep feeling like I'll kill myself eventually either way, even if this turns out to be a phase I'd still find another reason to kill myself.
Let us know how your first session goes, I hope it doesn't hurt you much.
finally going to watch the new star wars today, took a while.
>I'm gathering information on SRS (Suporn)
*cough* there's still a free date in november *cough*
what do you want to know?
you can also ask lilly when she's here.
also yay for laser.
>Let me know if you wanna talk about it someday.
it's just that the last time I was talking about it, I had a massive breakdown afterwards.
It's not a foul-up. You had no way of knowing. The coincidence of it just sucked. He was one I sometimes discussed photography and painting with. He was actually an accomplished photographer and painter. Few know that.
That's the depression talking. It may be relieved some by HRT and transition, and when you are seen as female. Also you may have some from how you were treated before. Therapy may be needed to relieve that depression. EMDR has done wonders for me.
I'm not depressed and I don't want to die, I want to be happy but if I keep feeling like this (wanting to be a girl) I feel like I'll be unhappy forever, it started a few months ago with "I wish I was a cute girl" and it has gotten worse, and now I actually feel unhappy about my male "features", is there a chance that this will go away or was I just repressing it? I used to be indifferent to my body, I didn't dislike it necessarily but I don't know anymore.
>is there a chance that this will go away
>was I just repressing it?
>I used to be indifferent to my body
Some of us repressed like that, then when our bodies mattered, blam the dysphoria about them hits.
I'd suggest going to see a gender therapist, and start talking about it. They can help you figure out how transgender you are, and how much you need to transition. Not everybody needs to transition fully. For many only minor changes are needed. With having GD already, you will likely need to do some transition. Maybe medically transitioning is all you need, maybe more?
>*cough* there's still a free date in november *cough*
What do you mean, everything's booked until november ? D:
I was hoping I could book a date in about 5-6 months.
Well I already asked Lily about some stuff, I'm not sure exactly what I need to know. I was mostly browsing his website to get more info about payment, visas and the paperwork required.
It sucks that I started by self medding, because that means I lost three months on their "one year full time" clock (went to see a therapist at three months), unless they accept online recceipts from HRT. Huh.
Yay for laser indeed !
>it's just that the last time I was talking about it, I had a massive breakdown afterwards.
Oh, I'm sorry.. It happens to me too, sometimes
uh yeah, he's usually pretty much booked out for almost a year in advance, sometimes there are earlier dates popping up.
>What do you mean
I'm there in november :3
payment is pretty straightforward, you pay a 20% deposit to reserve your date, they'll tell you anything you know after establishing contact anyways.
do you already have your name and documents changed?
that would be a good indicator of being fulltime regardless of when you started HRT.
So I'm gonna need to make a deposit ASAP, and I won't have surgery until november ? Fuuuuuck...
I was told there was around 3 months waiting time, but that was for Chet. I'm so disappointed..
Well I might see you there, if I can get the cash before someone takes it !
No in France you need 12 months full time to get a legal name change, and it then takes really long..
>that fucking goddamn feeling when you pass perfectly except for your voice
Haven't really been posting much in about a month. I got braces, so I guess that is new. This is in preparation for a surgery to correct my overbite that I got approval to be treated as medical instead of dental, so it will cost me $2000 instead of $25000. I had a bit of a rocky start with the braces with the first batch of adhesive not sticking properly, and having to go back to get the brackets reattached, but it didn't cost me anything other than time.
I've been learning some things about myself I never knew, and figuring out some things I am looking for in a partner. I found out I get super emotional when I am exhausted, the hard way.
My co-worker was nice and sent me home early because I was close to hysteria at one point this weekend after being sick for 3 days and working through it. He called his mother to help me get home since I was in no condition to go anywhere by myself. I was just sobbing endlessly and it was pretty embarrassing, but my friends and sisters tell me it is actually not even close to unusual for a girl to be that way in that situation. Another of my co-workers just randomly took my shift yesterday and even stopped by my place to see how I was doing, which was actually really sweet.
I was so exhausted and emotional I couldn't fall asleep due to having dark thoughts from feeling so awful, so one of my girl friends came over and cuddled with me until I feel asleep.
In a way these series of events kind of felt like a casting off of some older part of me, and the beginning of a new part. I am feeling better and thinking about things in a new light. My emotional journey has changed so very many of the ways I see the world.
I'm so fucking pissed off, this fucking transtrender "trans man" that looks exactly like a cis girl and is clearly not even on T just started ranting on facebook about how trans women make women feel uncomfortable in bathrooms and shouldn't be allowed in them. How does someone who probably experiences no dysphoria and probably uses the ladies' room every day and gets no shit for it and has no idea what it feels like to be harassed for their gender presentation get to barge into the transgender community and start railing against our rights? Why aren't we allowed to call these people out and tell them to get the fuck out of our community and go back to Tumblr without being called a bigot? They want to rewind the rights of "binary" trans people that we've been fighting for decades to obtain but how dare anyone disrespect their made up pronouns and complete and utter privilege due to basically being cis females that are trans in name only because they're looking for attention without any of the hardships of being actually trans? You don't belong in the T, you don't experience our pain, you don't get to dictate our causes, fuck off back to Tumblr all you tucutes
Girls I have a warning for you all.
YOU'RE NOT INFERTILE UNTIL YOU HAVE A TEST TO PROVE IT OR SURGERY.
Don't make the same mistake as I did. I don't want to be a dad five years into transition.
I call them out, and I'm not called a bigot.. because I dont hang around tumblrscum. mind you, I call them out pretty badly and probably scare their white knights away.
imo? call them out on it and who gives a fuck if you're called a bigot.. their white knights need to be slapped.
>I call them out, and I'm not called a bigot.. because I dont hang around tumblrscum. mind you, I call them out pretty badly and probably scare their white knights away.
What do you mean by calling pretty badly?
They're wrong, and they need to take into account other people's perspectives (which is to say, check their privilege), but that doesn't mean they aren't trans. Non-binaries aren't the enemy, people have discomfort with their assigned gender in different ways, just because you don't transition doesn't mean you're not trans. There's plenty of non-binaries who don't say shit like that, and there's plenty of binary trans women who throw other trans women under the bus. (The whole trutrans angle that if you don't pass perfectly you have to stay in the closet so you don't make people uncomfortable, for instance.)
Don't estrogen levels spike right after taking a pill? My last blood test was only a few hours after my morning dose, and my estrogen was in the "pregnant natal female" range o.O.
I'm on 4mg Estradiol taken sublingually, half morning half night.
I had an interesting experience today. I was shopping at the super market, and I ran across someone I was working with two years ago. Turns out that they transitioned into a guy during this time. What are the chances?
He said that my transition really suited me, and I appreciate it as the same is true for him. Either way, this does go to show you the world is smaller than you think sometimes.
Yep, you get a big spike that takes a few hours to drop. This chart is for Estrace SL=SubLingual vs PO=swallowed which there are many generics that do the same.
If I'm be E2 tested, I wait to take my E until after the test.
>tfw bad reaction to amoxicillian.
Don't know why as I've had it a number of times before.
It may all depend on your goals in the long run. Ask the profs about the courses.
>just because you don't transition doesn't mean you're not trans
she looks 100% cis and dressed 100% femme, what exactly is trans about her? she looks like one of those types that just claims to be trans for oppression points
trans- is a prefix dealing with movement, in this case changing gender or moving across genders, if you're not changing anything than how are you -trans- gender? being trans without transitioning defies logic and the only people who peddle that shit are tumblr sjws that can't bear to ever say no to anyone's fee fees
>Why aren't we allowed to call these people out and tell them to get the fuck out of our community and go back to Tumblr without being called a bigot?
Because at some point feelings replaced actual facts and identity replaces social analysis and now the basis for the drive for social change is pretty much just imaginary. Anyone can claim to be any gender and you have to respect it no matter how idiotic it clearly is in reality because reality stopped mattering. Wouldn't surprise me if men sitting on corporate boardrooms just started claming they're women just to skew statistics and claim their company has more women on the board of directors...
>They want to rewind the rights of "binary" trans people that we've been fighting for decades to obtain but how dare anyone disrespect their made up pronouns and complete and utter privilege due to basically being cis females that are trans in name only because they're looking for attention without any of the hardships of being actually trans?
So much anger... so much beautiful anger... keep fighting that good fight, anon. Maybe some day the tumblrina snowflakes with technocolour hair will grow tired and you can just go back to being regular-old oppressed.
>what exactly is trans about her?
Her mind. We don't know her base feelings. How many of us had to act the part of the guy for years before realizing we got up the guts to transition?
>trans- is a prefix d...
It's the word we have to use. Not all words make perfect sense when pulled apart into their parts.
How do you know? Because she says so? People can lie, especially if they have something go gain by it. So what is the definition of being trans, then? Just stating that one is? Of course, one may need time before transitioning and some might never be able to. But at what point would you, if I may ask, call bullshit? We all have confirmation bias, but at what would it take for you to call out a person claiming to be trans as just a fake?
trans means you're transitioning into or feel you belong to the gender you identify as that is other to the sex assigned at birth.
non-binary/genderqueer means you don't identify as either or both or somewhere in between male and female.
people might not transition for whatever reason and still be trans, but sure, people can lie too.
how to call bs? I don't know, by getting to know a person and their feelings better I guess.
You're just being hypercritical. You have no way of knowing what is going on in her mind. All we can do is accept her at face value. We can't make up her mind for her, nor can we force a label on her, nor can we strip one from her.
this is why people pull the "oh well i identify as an attack helicopter" shit on trans people, because by saying anyone can just validly self-identify as anything and you can never question it, that's the kind of thing you leave yourself open to
as a trans person i honestly find the current trans movement appallingly anti science, anti logic, anti reality, which is really the only way it could ever function in its current form because there's so much logical inconsistency that the cognitive dissonance must crush anyone who even tries to think about it...ignoring the flaws in anyone's argument becomes a necessity I guess when you just let anyone and everyone co-opt your movement
>because by saying anyone can just validly self-identify as anything and you can never question it, that's the kind of thing you leave yourself open to
because gender is an inherent identity in humans, material things are not.
This is why I avoid discussing tranny stuff with other trannies online. Alarmingly large amount of people accept the entire slippery slope from trannies to genderfluid to nonbinary to agender to otherkin etc. and I want nothing to do with that shit
Anon here >>5549728 is my nigga and speaks the truth.
>You have no way of knowing what is going on in her mind.
These are matters of feelings, and being trans is not a matter of feelings - yes clearly it will lead to having certain feelings and this is of course valid for that individual. We must not neglect personal narratives and experiences. But being trans is an actual, observable, scientifically verifiable condition. Neurology affects feelings, not the other way around.
Really, we are here dealing with the classical conflict between idealism and 'descending from heaven to earth' in one's thinking and materialism, where one 'ascends from earth to heaven'.
As controversial as it may be, a certain German materialist philosopher is worth quoting at lenght here:
"[W]e do not set out from what people say, imagine, conceive, nor from people as narrated, thought of, imagined, conceived, in order to arrive at people in the flesh. We set out from real, active people, and on the basis of their real life-process we demonstrate the development of the ideological reflexes and echoes of this life-process. The phantoms formed in the human brain are also, necessarily, sublimates of their material life-process, which is empirically verifiable and bound to material premises. Morality, religion, metaphysics, all the rest of ideology and their corresponding forms of consciousness, thus no longer retain the semblance of independence. They have no history, no development; but people, developing their material production and their material intercourse, alter, along with this their real existence, their thinking and the products of their thinking. Life is not determined by consciousness, but consciousness by life. In the first method of approach the starting-point is consciousness taken as the living individual; in the second method, which conforms to real life, it is the real living individuals themselves, and consciousness is considered solely as their consciousness."
Ok sure so the attack helicopter meme is a bit of a dumn example, but the point still stands. You still have the "transblack" meme (whites who feel black) and the real-life example of people who are ablebodied but feel like they lack a limb and want surgery to "correct" this. Not to mention tumlberinas who claim to be "non-binary" or genderfluid or whatever because they think it's cool without actually being truly non-binary. How to deal with that without a material, empirically verifiable basis for being trans?'
I mean I'm OK with people saying "fuck it!" to gender norms either way, they don't need a verifiable diagnosis in my eyes in order to decide they want to express themselves differently. More power to 'em. But it's... well, not the same as being trans.
skin color isn't an identity though, it might be socially for some, but a black human is just the same as a white human, it's just appearance imo, just like hair color or eye color.
also feeling like you should not have a limb (not talking about genitals in regard to trans feelings) is an aberration from normal human physiology, not saying those feelings don't exist, and it might as well help them in some cases so why not if they choose to.
being female or male is not, trans people just sometimes want to adjust their physiolgy to fit with your gender within current possibilities.
>skin color isn't an identity though
It does have social implications and norms just like gender though
>it's just appearance imo
Gender is mostly about appearance too, that's what passing is all about, appearing as the opposite gender
>an aberration from normal human physiology
>not talking about genitals in regard to trans feelings
How is it any different to someone who thinks trannies and people who want to be amputees are all the same bunch? They can say that wanting to be the opposite gender and morphing your body to be that way is an aberration from normal male/female physiology. You can't just say one doesn't count and expect that to be a compelling argument in and of itself.
>It does have social implications and norms just like gender though
true, still not the same thing, as gender is inherently in your brain, being dark or light skinned is not.
>Gender is mostly about appearance too, that's what passing is all about, appearing as the opposite gender
no, passing helps to get accepted as that gender in society, or just feeling better about yourself, but a lot of it is about physiology too.
>How is it any different to someone who thinks trannies and people who want to be amputees are all the same bunch?
because having a male or female physiology is normal human physiology, missing limbs is not.
sure there are limitations as to how much you can change from male to female and vice versa, and of course there are still aberrations (i.e. not having uterus/ovaries etc.) but that are limitations we are bound to right now.
I didn't say "it doesn't count" it's just vastly different.
>You can't just say one doesn't count and expect that to be a compelling argument in and of itself.
Exactly my point. Of course everyone who is trans is going to say "those are different!" regardless of if you compare trans to race or attack helicopters. The point is WHY - why are they different and HOW? What is the actual ARGUMENT and EVIDENCE and not just the opinion? That's what the helicopter-meme is really about: it mocks the fact that there is no real argument and the only responses are of the "just because" variety.
> gender is inherently in your brain, being dark or light skinned is not.
Which is exactly the fucking point I've been trying to make, and so has the other anon >>5552837. It's "inherently in your brain" and not an abstract fee fee - you can observe it if you scan someone's brain.
There are personal opinions, feelings and expressions regarding gender, yes. But it also has a material and empirically verifiable basis in neurology. There are also social constructs surrounding gender as well as cultural normes and practices, yes, and these are also (in their way) material and empirically verifiable, if not immutable. "Whereas human sociality is itself a consequence of our received biology, human biology is a socialized biology" as a couple biologists neatly put it.
>a lot of it is about physiology too.
Yes, and how you appear and are viewed by others feeds into that just as much as your internal feelings are projected in how you act in the world and how you present yourself, which in turn affects how you appear and are viewed, and so on. This happens on several levels and there is interaction and feedback between them. Do I need to quote the German Ideology again or are people more comfortable if I use systems-science language like calling dialectical interactions "feedback loops"?
>being dark or light skinned is not.
I think the transracials just want to be have the minority social treatment and feel like their skin color doesn't reflect that
>because having a male or female physiology is normal human physiology
notice the wording i used, it's not normal for a male to have female physiology or vice versa, that's their argument, not that either gender itself is unnatural
>I didn't say "it doesn't count" it's just vastly different.
to them it's all the same, that's
why they lump us together with attack helicopter genders
>We must not neglect personal narratives and experiences. But being trans is an actual, observable, scientifically verifiable condition. Neurology affects feelings, not the other way around.
People are capable of acting far different from their core self. Especially when the motivation is strong, and repeatedly enforced. You can't rely on actions to determine somebody's natural gender. That person could have been constantly corrected to act their assigned gender to the point that they no longer show any outside signs of it.
Don't get married to one philosophy. All fail to properly explain human consciousness, motivations, etc.. The problem is we are way to complex of beings.
As of now the only concrete objective difference known can only be tested after death. That is the size and number of neurons in the BSTc. It is to small to be accurately resolved by any non invasive measurement device like an MRI.
There is a difference in how one reacts to body scents, but it isn't demonstrated to be 100% conclusive. Humans have a defective pheromone system. A mutation deleted a necessary nerve for transmission of the information to the brain. We still have the pheromone sensors, but the signal no longer makes it to the brain. On the other hand we do have a range of body scents that do provide recognition of those that are most advantageous to mate with. Those scents are reacted to in a way that maps best to one's orientation, not gender.
Cool, glad it went well for you. Supportive family is good to have.
On dark skin versus light skin. We all have an internalized self image and this can include skin color. At one time ALL of our ancestors were dark skinned, some more recent than others. I can see where a light skinned person could have had something happen to their normal internal concept of self that causes them to feel their light skin is wrong.
>>because having a male or female physiology is normal human physiology
>notice the wording i used, it's not normal for a male to have female physiology or vice versa, that's their argument, not that either gender itself is unnatural
The argument to use is that the sex/orientation/gender setting methods used during development in mammals is imprecise, and can be switched from one to the other at any point during development.
Same anon here. I made my own thread but no replies and the MTFG isn't activate so I'll ask here.
Bi-Sexual MTF here.
I saw my Psychiatrist last week and told him what's going on, he wants me to do some Social Transitioning (family first as I live in the country and ignorant people tend to live here too) and getting used to the whole concept of being Trans.
My brothers, Mom and Aunt are supportive.
He wants to see me every 3 months.
How do I cope with waiting 3 months?
I just want to get the next step and possibly get referred to an Endro.
>People are capable of acting far different from their core self...
I am in full agreement on this point. I don't see why this view would not be compatible with my own.
>the science bit
Look I'm not saying we determine which individual is "tru-trans" and who is a poser based on a brain scan. I am saying we need to take all transpeople's feelings about gender seriously because it has been proven that these feelings aren't just strange fancies nor insanity on their part - actual brain differences have been observed in the human brain which cause these feelings. Differences which are not "errors" or "sickness" but just a varation, a part of natural diversity.
And I am saying that until they dissect a motherfucker and find that there are specific aspects of his brain that prove that he really thought he was an attack helicopter and explain why - without this being due to damage or disease - none of us are obliged to take helicopterpeople seriously. Nor "transblacks", amputeefetishists or furries or whatever else for that matter.
>...internal concept of self that causes them to feel their light skin is wrong
Obviously. Same as the ones who feel they should be amputees - their "internal concept of self" has had "something happen" to it that "causes them to feel" that their body is wrong. That's not an explanation, though, that's a re-statement in more fancy words of what they're feeling. But can this sort of feeling be explained, and how does it differ from feeling like one is the wrong gender? My argument has been that one of them is real in the sense that it has been empirically observed in the brains of homo sapiens, and the other is clearly a mental issue that psychologists and neurologists can explain by other means.
>internal concept of self
I'm referring to what is hardwired into the reptile part of the brain. Not something residing in the cerebral cortex, or thinking part of the brain. Gender is hardwired into the reptile brain. It's the only way evolution works for male/female sex dimorphic creatures to work. Each male or female is supposed to get the programming for their sex that tells them how to behave to mate with the opposite sex, and with us transgenders, we got the programming for the opposite sex of our genitals. (Note: simplified for ease of discussion.) There could be in the reptile brain a concept of expected skin tone.
I honestly believe that sexual fantasies have a lot of influence on how you perceive your body. The amputee fetishist can only get off to imagining him/herself as am amputee, eventually the sexual attraction takes on more than just a sexual nature and becomes part on one's feelings and emotions. This is not unlike the heterosexual wanting to get married and have kids.
The "marriage" for the AGP, amputee fetishist, the autopedophile, the ballbusting guys, etc is to become what they love, as the definition stands. As we all know, once love comes into play, people will go to insane lengths to have that love.
I think this is why you see transexuals who were previously extremely porn addicted. They really had no outlet to express themselves to in reality, so they retreat into a land of fantasy where all of there desires can be met. Eventually, one will associate being female with feeling good, therefore being male is going to start to feel worse and worse and that's where the fetish becomes more than just a fetish and takes on a life of its own.
This is not to invalidate anyone's identity, as
I think the identity is very valid, but I think people heavily underestimate the impact AGP has on a transexuals mind/body.
Yep, I learned this in a human sexuality class before, essentially, many different, wild fetishes and paraphilias can create a gap between fantasy and reality, especially violent ones.
Luckily, many fetishes can be reenacted enough to satiate the person's urge to partake in them. For example, a female will probably not object to rape role play if the person so desires, but some individuals desperately crave to live out that fantasy real-time.
It's not hard to picture that if in your fantasies, you get off to growing your own pair of tits, wearing skirts, sucking cock, having a female body and so on, it's not hard to see that the fantasy is going to be almost impossible to live out in reality, thus increasing the amount of dysphoria between mind and body.
Tldr; people underestimate what seemingly impossible fantasies to live out can do to someone's psyche
I got laser. It didn't hurt like hell because I have a very pale skin and my facial hair isn't that developed. I hope the setting was high enough to burn the follicles though.
Why does it feel like a jolt of electricity ? Shouldn't it feel like a very hot needle instead ?
>I'm referring to what is hardwired into the reptile part of the brain.. etc.
Agreed 100%. That is up to the following:
>There could be in the reptile brain a concept of expected skin tone.
Whoooah, nelly! First of all, 0 evidence of this. Second of all, a shit-ton of evidence against it. Thirdly, it would not make sense evolutionary; as you yourself state our gender-wiring is due to us being a sex dimorphic species; in fact that predates our species and is true of our earliest mammalian ancestors. Hardwireing of this makes sense from the pov of sexual evolution. But race does not work the same way, and is mostly superficial adaptations to local conditions; we are not inherently a 'multi-racial' species and it would not make sense for our brains to devote energy/resources to maintain a part of our brain specifically to be the seat of racial identity - what would that even DO in practice?
Except that, in the case of transpeople, this is an old and discredited theory with no actual support among the scientific community. Yet it remains a fav among many, because it confirms their pre-existing prejudices and values. IMO it turns reality on it's head: "a man fantasized about being a woman and thus becomes a woman"; but that rests on the assumption that the individual in question is a man to begin with, which is what is supposed to be proven. If we assume instead, and science would support us in this assumption, that said individual is morphologically male yet feels female due to neurology - would it then not make sense that a woman is a woman in her sexual fantasies?
>But race does not work the same way, and is mostly superficial adaptations to local conditions;
Tribalism seams to be hardwired into the brain.
>what would that even DO in practice?
Us versus them on the genetics level. It makes sense from a evolution/genetics standpoint.
Not that anon but
>Tribalism seams to be hardwired into the brain.
Tribalism is not related to skin color though. For the vast majority of human and proto-human history we only encountered tribes of similar skin color.
I get that someone would want to get the special treatment that minorities get but that's just a desire for oppression and privileges, not actual skin color thing let alone something to do with brain wiring. If you spend all your time and energy in race studies where you're taught that white people are the source of all evil I'm not surprised when you want to disassociate yourself from being white, especially around minority groups. That's what's behind the recent batch of "trans-racial" people as far as I can tell.
>Tribalism seams to be hardwired into the brain.
Which is not the same goddamn thing.
>Us versus them on the genetics level. It makes sense from a evolution/genetics standpoint.
Yes, rejecting people who are genetically different in favour of those who are genetically similar is GREAT from an evolutionary pov! Except the opposite of that. Because inbreeding. Also a hypothesis is not evidence; you can explain lots of stuff with "evolution!" but what seperates the biotruth meme from science is evidence.
Is anyone taking this shit seriously, or is it another "attack-helicopter"-meme? I know for a fact 4chan wanted to make it seem like some sjws seriously believed it and where open about this being specifically to damage and discredit transpeople, but I don't know if they succeeded.
As far as I know there's at least one progressive, third wave SJW that's openly transracial and wants to be identified as a nigger. I'm sure there are hundreds of them floating around in the tumblrs
Any sauce on that? Do you know how prominent this person is, if they are taken seriously (if they even are serious...). I mean I can go to the local looneybin and find you a fella who thinks himself Napoleon, but what matters is how others react to this.
thanks! I'm 20, now
I feel so old
20 + may age = the 70 Bambi was in that photo. You're young!
pic is Bambi a year or two before I was born.
cause >>5560143 told me to
repost coming through
> tfw made gf scream so loud neighbor from other side of the street called me to tell me to turn it down
yes thank you. uhhh it is difficult right now. sorry to bother you. i am kind of on a trip right now. taken for purposes of working my problems regarding gender out but it may or may not have been the right decision at this point. again sorry, but if you really don't want to deal with this shit right now maybe you can point me to some place that can?
>tfw I had a morning wake up dream where I was snuggling with another gal, and I looked down and saw I had nice boobs.
>tfw even people in my dreams mock me for my lack of social life
>mfw 70% of the people posting here wouldn't have sex with a pre-op transwoman
>expects cis lesbians to fuck them
Most of us are bisexual, with only a few lesbian. The biggest issue is comfort with dicks, and the reminder of transition and being trans. It can be a big psychological issue for some.
hows everyone doing tonighttttt
ive just been dealing with dumb bureaucratic nonsense and studying it out today
My older sister barely acknowledges my existence. Which all in all is pretty much the same way she acted towards me before I transitioned. (the kick is that we live in the same house, directly across the hall from eachother)
If you have Depersonalization Disorder, then you likely have trauma of some sort in your past. Welcome to the crowd.
You could try EMDR on yourself. The book "Getting Past Your Past" by Francine Shapiro tells how to do it, and is by the woman who developed EMDR.
If you want a better understanding of trauma and all it's varieties, then read "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel van der Kolk, MD.