What's the deal with this transsexual thing

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Hey folks, Over the past year and a bit I've been going through waves of desiring to be a woman. They started when I was 18, never had any major dysphoria or anything before that, though I would almost always choose to play as a woman in video games and would sometimes dress in drag for comedic effect during school shows etc. I never felt unhappy with my sex until the past year though. Each wave lasts about a month with a gap of 3 or 4 months in between during which the feelings would dissipate. This is the third time I've gotten these feelings over the year and they're lasting much longer this time than before. I'm very uncertain about how to proceed and I feel as if it's put up a roadblock in my life. Does anybody have any advice or stories that could relate? I'm not really in a position to go see a counselor and I'm spending all my spare time thinking about it. Sorry if I should have posted this in another thread but I couldn't see a designated one.

Pic unrelated, I'm just kind of hungry.