You hear me kick in your door. You have 5 seconds before I have my way with you, your wife, and your dog.
Assume for this exercise that you DON'T want me to have sexual relations in your home.
Can you stop me in time?
jokes on you, I already had my wa with my dog, wife and myself in that order. their bodies are buried in my backyard and by the time you get their the police will be on their way to arrest you for the crime while im halfway across the state
Its not "whiteknighting" dumbass. If my spouse called me fat or had such harsh feelings towards me that they secretly call me fat behind my back they wouldnt be married much longer.
>inb4 lonely old men get angry at this
I train, so I could probably take you unarmed if it came to that. I also have my trusty Sako 3m or so away with mag attached, I'll just have to grab it and rack a round in. My pistol is also somewhere within a hand's reach because I spend a lot of time dry firing while shitposting on chans, watching peruvian performance or removing ayys
Gun is maybe 6-7 seconds away
I think the dog would slow you down, then me with an axe, then my wife with the gun. I think you stand a 12% chance of killing us with a knife. Plus you're black, so I'm going to be angry as fuck.
>Assume for this exercise that you DON'T want me to have sexual relations in your home
Anon that is some pretty big assumptions.
Yeah but theres a difference between saying "hey your fat you should do something about it" vs posting about your "fat wife" on the internet.
>youre a homo
Not everyone on the internet is a man shithead.
I pull out my blade and we see if you've got the cojones to get into a knife fight. I do.
Brah, ive got a Philippine 1911 and two spare mags full of critical duty +p .45acp, and a random pair of handcuffs so after i blow your guts out your ass, i can flip you, tell you tobstop resisting, and that the police are on their way.
Ill be alright.
only thing in reach is an east german pattern 1 AK bayonet, that's been sharpened a little bit.
oh boy, its half naked knife fight time
>Loaded negaunt revolver
>Loaded sks with 30 rd mag one in da chambuh
>Familly sleepin' in their car
out in the Southwest
>highway is alive tonight
>Nobody's foolin' nobody as to where it goes
>sitting down here in campfire light
>Searchin' for Ghost of Tom Joad
we sum smokers, we dont use holsters, they jus on us
What makes you think I'm not almost within arms reach of a gun at all times in my place?
Bedside gun? Check.
Working at my computer desk? Guess where my CC piece sits, faggot.
In my spare room working on a project? There's a gun located there, too.
I lack a wife or a dog.
Breaking into my house would be a deeply unpleasant experience for you.
Playing the vidyas? 20+1 of .32 ACP, right there.
I even have a dedicated "pooping SD" gun. Enjoy your EEEEEEEEEEEEE.
>as fast as I can pull the trigger.
Wouldn't need to do anything other than replace the doorway. C4 in the ceiling with a tripwire at height with your ankles. Have a nice day. Oh and uh, castle doctrine I guess.
>not Godfathering a gun to your toilet
It's like you want to get killed taking a shit
Much like his torso should be, my sides are gone
I hope you like a tomahawk to the face anon, because that's my closest weapon at the moment.
Not that you would ever kick down a 250lb solid oak door with quarter inch thick hand-forged hinges, I built it to keep bears out.
>kick in door
>greeted by /fit/ 6 foot 8 naked giant with a raging hard-on and mossman 500
You've got about 5 seconds before I have my way with you, your wife, and your dog. Assume for this exercise you don't want to be reverse raped. Can you stop me in time?
>protip: you can't
thats a pretty shit door
vault tier doors usually costs a grand and above
Wife non existent. The 180 lb great dane who alerted me when you were walking outside will be having his way with you while I decide which gun within a 5 foot radius will be ok to let go to evidence for a few days.
It takes much longer than 5 sec to kick down a locked iron gate / storm door and a deadbolted front door. You'd also make a hell of a lot of noise doing so. More than enough time to pull my Winchester from under the bed and load a few shells. You'd be a black smear on the wall before you got up the stairs.
I would guess most accidental shootings occur because retards keep loaded weapons laying around the house. It's not that fucking hard to keep weapons accessible with ammunition close by. If you really think that you are capable of defending yourself with a gun in an emergency situation, you should be skilled at quickly loading your weapon. Leaving firearms loaded is insane unless there are literally riots occurring within blocks of your house.
How did you get across the whole house and uo the stairs directly to my bedroom in 5 seconds? Unless you had inside knowledge... Which means my wife is trying to have me killed...so I shoot her first then frame you for her murder and bestiality with the dog
>(same one here)
Did he find the bullet and reload it into the casing or something? People actually believe this shit?
hahahahahahahahaha... ooo... yeah
Me and my wife have a "deal" if either of use get more then one cat or gain 50lbs we can cheat. It's tonge in cheek but the sentiment is real. I work out weekly and have a phyiscal job so I'm doing ok. 5lbs heavier then when i got out of highschool.
You have 6 flight of stairs before reaching my apartment,entire building is mine,you kick down the door,touch the knob of the other,guillotine fire proof door closes behind you,vacuum pump starts to remove air from your enclosed space.
Wake up in the morning,find your dead body after opening the door,turn on muh crematory
1 more towards the 6 bilions