> Be me
> Be 15 ABE
> Enlist in galactic army as 19D, recruiter promised me ATST loader yea rite
> Be riding around bikes on some forested shit planet
> Wow this is boring where's the enemy?
> Suddenly some fagget in a cloak is riding around on a speeder bike WTF
> Insurgents everywhere, even the fucking squirrels are throwing rocks at us
> Jump on speederbike to physically alert my allies even though i have a communications system that could talk to them instantly
> Run into a tree while i'm distracted
There was actually an imperial army. Their commandos were top notch, the rest was pretty mediocore. The storm trooper corps had no at-ats, for example, they were an attached group, and field commander veers was army. Storm Troopers = marines, and scouts are first recon
Oh please, like the navy has a fucking clue what they're doing.
Have you seen those new "superweapon" star destroyers you've been building? Who the fuck designed those?
Alrighty holonet, help me paint the new whip. Pulled this baby off a junk pile on Metalorn a few months ago, been piecing her back toget her ever since. When new vectoring rings for the drives come in next week she'll be fit to fly, so I've gotta have her looking fresh before then.
So do I restore the old GAR colors, or should I try something original?
How the fuck am I supposed to find that out? Pretty sure a clone pilot won't be around to say, and even if the Empire still keeps those kinds of records, I can't access them. I was thinking just plain crimson and cream, vintage but still anonymous.
I know a guy who salvaged a direct Consular-class cruiser, painstakingly restored it down to the last detail, and then got pinched for stealing government property when a customs rat ran the markings. I'd really like to avoid that.
Hi guys! What's with the new uniforms? I missed the last carrier back in Tatooine and had to work my ass off to get a ride back, what did i miss?
Top kek, also love me some GAR plastoid. Sure, you can't sit in it for more than 30 minutes without getting cramps in places you didn't know you had, but the HUD, comms, and optics aren't terrible, and that shit will stop slugthrower and shrapnel just fine. Best budget armor IMO. Own three suits, a phase 1 and two phase 2s, one stock and one scout variant.
>pulling shitty radio duty on bridge
>make remark about new holodeck sex restrictions
>some nigger with a giant vagina on his forehead spergs out about "muh warrior culture"
I did not know that and I feel informed.
Also the clone wars mini series (animated by the guy who did samurai jack) was tits.
Yeah, fucking recruiter got me with that line two solar cycles ago.
Now I fly a damn speedy durasteel deathtrap in human wave tactics like it's trench warfare or something here in the void. I swear whatever asshat designed our fighter doctrine is a fool.
At least we fly fast, plus the Interceptor and the new Avengers and Defenders look pretty damn swell.
Its surprising that they don't even offer shields to veteran pilots. You poor bastard, you should have joined the Imperial Stormtrooper officer corps like me m8. The local wildlife can be nasty at times like pic related, so long as we got control over the skies, its all good
Maybe if I don't land a spot in an Interceptor wing by the end of my tour I'll put in for a transfer to the stormies or the walker corps, figure my piloting skills might transfer over.
Either way though, it'll be a shame to not see any more great sights like pic related.
>Been troopin for a good 4 years now.
>Life is good.
>So, of course I get stationed on the desertiest shit stain of a planet we can offer.
>Pulling guard with Steve.
>I do not like Steve.
>Been told we have to be on the lookout for droids.
>Does anyone higher up not realize every planet is crawling in droids, can we be specific for once?
>See two dudes roll up, and sure enough two droids with them, shocker.
>Ask one of them about droids, basic orders, etc.
>Old man looks me dead in the eye.
>Mind goes blank for a second, realize they are not the droids we are looking for.
>Yell at Steve for being an idiot and making us bother citizens.
Hey, hey now. We all do that sometimes. With the guns they give us the shots could go fucking anywhere! I swear some of my shots just go straight up.
And before any of you go on about muh marksmanship, my hands are steady as fucking rocks. Used to hit womp-rats at two hundred metres when I was a kid.
COME AT ME BRO!
Oh wait, they sent you to the other side of the fucking system because you let the droids get away!
I remember telling the commander about that now! Oh me and those brain farts of mine!
>Sensor operator on shitty outer rim cruiser
>comlink to bro in comms department above my station screen
>Ring him up in the middle of communication periods to fuck with him
>Commander behind me goes wookie-wild and threatens to put my head through vis-screen
>Be off duty.
>Inna Cantina, fuck the commander, this work is rough I earned this drink.
>Nearly choke when I see two Jedi enter the place.
>Tactically start shitting myself because I forgot to carry my blaster.
>Shot rings out in the Cantina, everything goes silent.
>Some asshole just shot his buddy, didn't even try to shoot the rebels.
>mfw the band starts back up.
Being hungover in a helmet sucks btw.
Do you guys also hate it when you have casual run ins with obvious Jedi scum, and are unable to engage because you are in the middle of a city and could put citizens at risk/ not given orders to attack?
I mean, sure, you could go open fire on them like Steve would, i'm sure, but who wants an inquisitor visit?
>Be escorting a Sith Lord the other day.
>Suddenly have a thought.
>This guy can kill Jedi with his mind.
>Jedi can kill a hundred of us.
>Why does this dude need an escort?
>His head sort of pivots and looks me straight in the eye.
>(It's really spooky when they can lock on like that through our visors.)
>And he just kinda smirks at me.
>Like he knew what I was just thinking.
>Stationed on Ryloth
>Guarding some navy Nerf herders at the refueling outpost
>Go on leave with NCO
>Motherfucker has to be the hardest guy in our unit
>Never seen imhim go so weak in the knees before
>Long story short, he got fucked up, and cut of a Twi'Lek pleasure slave's Lekku
>Motherfucker got a medal
On the lookout for a concussion rifle holonet. I'm torn between the LJ-50, W-80, and pic related, the Stouker.
Other suggestions for a heavy rifle are welcome, money is no object.
Don't bother, mate. Get yourself a DH-X. It'll blow a hole clean through an Abyssin, with no need for expensive proprietary ammo and finnicky, unstable power cores. Just plain old regular Tibana.
Gungan, please. If you were a real clone trooper you'd be dead right now due to the accelerated aging process. This is a massive case of stolen valor right here. I hope some dark trooper finds you and goes all sarlaac on your butt.
Be Imperial Observer, they said.
You'll get to direct bombardments from Imperial Star Destroyers, they said.
>mfw I just spend 12 hour days learning infantry maneuvers with the Storm Troopers
>mfw the Navy just uses Tie Fighters to direct ground bombardments instead
>Get reassigned to Tattooine
>Command is looking for jedi with some droids
>Patrol the desert for 8 hours a fuckin day
>This shithole has 2 fuckin suns
>Get word that said jedi and droids managed to escape in Mos Eisley
>CO is pissed we end up in some cantina and get drunk
>I end up fucking a twi'lek whore
Pic related, its my unit. I'm the one in the hat
Just imagian the numbers of star destroyers you could have for that, literally flood whatever system you invade with starships. No rebles would escape because instead of space there would only be star destroyers
Has anyone here fired a rebel gun?
They look so...weird
Good luck, I'm behind like seven proxies. Btw I truck 400 tons of glitterstim on the regs; I fill out the rest of my hold with DL-44s and Class-A thermal detonators.
Enjoy chasing my signal from Bespin to Dubrillion and back.
>join the academy
>transferred to black squadron because most of them are dead and I was the best goddamn pilot in my class
>die because some faggot in a flying pancake had illegal AG-2G quad lasers on his ship
Why can't people follow the goddamn rules.
>not calling it the tatooine triple trigger
We will, won't we?
Sounds like someone's mad he's stuck in a flying firecracker. AG-2Gs are the shit, freedom as fuck. Replaced my waist guns with 'em, still had enough power to feed chin mounted ions, an extra pair of turbos on my belly, and push the drives hard, and that was just with the stock reactor.
>Geonosis 3 shot process
Oh fuck that's good
I raise you the utapau you dead now
Wow, sure thing, mom. You want me to help you with the dishes while I'm at it?
You ISB faggots are all so stuffy. Even Storms and TIE jockey know how to slum it up. Maybe you'd have an easier time enforcing that authoritarian regime if you knew how to be a little less puritanical, yeah?
Imperial Order would be so cool if it didn't such so much.
Probably a battlegroup with the old model TIES when the bombers didn't have targeting software or under a commander that doesn't want to wreck his stormies with danger close orbital bombardment.
Actually, closer to the later. A bunch of our Stormie officers are Novatrooper and Storm Commando rejects. Real death or glory types. There's a couple in particular that are lucky they haven't been fragged, but that's another matter. None of the bucket heads complain about the fireworks, and my battery hasn't had a blue on blue since before I showed up.
The bigger navy ships have a mix of more eccentric TIEs, like the TIE/fc Fire Control platform. Anything with a smaller capacity like the old Victories or Venators isn't liable to have space for a specialty platform like that and will rely on observers or probe droids.
>the ability to destroy a planet is insignificant compared to the power of the force
O rly? Lets just see how significant the force really is. So far as we know you can't blow up a planet with the force so there's that. Technological terror: 1, Sorcerer's ways:0
But then lets look at what the force CAN do:
>choke out a bitch in your line of sight, big whoop
>communicate faster than the speed of light, not a big deal when people hyperdrive around anyway
>move things slightly heavier than you, so can a forklift
>shoot lightning bolts, so can an arc cannon
>mind trick, imperial propaganda does it better and on a bigger scale
>maybe it can give you an edge in combat, but that doesn't fucking matter when they blow your planet up
Moreover, the ability to destroy a planet was insignificant compared to the ability to render a planet lifeless for much, much, much cheaper.
BD0 has been a thing since the Clone Wars. My battlegroup can do it in about three hours, four if the target is heavily developed.
DSI and DSII were literally worthless wastes.
Sort of. We don't have any TIE/fcs because we don't have any TIE/gts. ISDs almost universally get at least the current stuff, if not the really good shit; I've never seen an ISD-I or -II that had TIE/gt instead of TIE/sa. But once you start getting into more remote postings, you'll be surprised at the kind of relics you'll find.
Thinking about it if we have stormies deployed usually they call it in and I double check with the probes or the TIEs unless I'm using the big missiles. They don't call them city killers for nothing.
The relics are what make outer rim patrols interesting. What surprises me is what else passes for a snubfighter out there. I saw a bubba'd up Eta-2 with Y-wing nacelles at one point. I wanted to put it out of its misery.
Uglies are a laaaaugh. Best I've ever seen was a YT-1300 with the center-mounted cockpit, and either he got blasted or clipped by some space junk, because the entire back end was ripped open, drives shot to hell. This guy had literally salvaged four drives from AIAT/is and strapped them onto his shit. It was easily the most hilarious thing I've seen in all 5 and 1/2 years I've been doing this job.
Every now and then, you see one built by someone who really knows what they're doing. Still ass-ugly, but close to a match for modern line fighters.
Buuut most are total disasters made from illegally scavenged dreck, things like Cloakshapes and Y-wings and so on. Lots of stuff with TIE bits, and not many of them had the serial numbers filed off. Captain liked to tractor them in and repossess imperial property, and kick them and the leftovers back into space. I think half the uglies out there won't even enter atmosphere without breaking up.
Different guy but I've never seen to many uglies. The Clone War surplus market is still pretty good. I get a couple of the standard TIE cockpit with Y-wing parts but that is really it.
You know what, I take it back. Knowing some of the astromechs that we've got kicking around on my ship, the little guy's probably cackling with glee.
Obnoxious little fuckers, the lot of 'em.
Looked to me like someone tried to fly a 4 meter wide starfighter through a 3 meter wide hole. Edges of both wings looked to be removed in an accident, and the Y-wing engines were just wired into the busted sockets.
Don't I know it. We've got a tenacious little R1 doing our jumps for us, and I swear the bastard is backing himself up somehow. No matter how often we wipe him, he still drops us in practically on top of whatever planet we're headed to. Hell of an entrance, but there's gonna be an accident someday.
Talk to your protocol units if you have any; there's an R5 I work with who's been known to strong-arm them with his plasma cutter. We'd have scrapped the thing if it didn't know our octuple cannons better than the manufacturers.
Not a lot of free-roaming droids in the engine section of a Neb-B. Access is kinda limited overall, unless there's an MSE that's the cause of this trouble. It's not a huge concern, I just don't want the captain to get blamed for a Hoth-style fuck-up. He's a good guy, hard but fair. Another year and a half and I figure he'll get to move up to a proper Star Destroyer, s'long as we keep our noses clean.
>Newly mobilized unit out Coruasant
>Battalion is in gear for first deployment
>Get psyched as fuck
>Orders come down
>Deploying to Naboo
>WTF man? Gaaaaaaaaaay
>3 weeks en-route
>Mission is to subjugate populace and quell insurrection
>Spend next 3 months stomping Gungans and shooting Naboo rich kids and their libtard parents in the face
Best deployment ever man, crashed for like 2 weeks in some yuppie's uptown townhouse, pissed on their couches and and broke out all the windows before we left.
Different guy here too, found some ancient shit near the Outer Rim. Some fucker had made this wannabe Millennium Falcon trash ages back and it was still being used by a bunch of smuggler cunts. Fucking mad.
Outer rim patrols can be pretty terrifying too. At least when you step in it, everyone's surprised. Convoy duty means the other guy's coming in ready. Like this time we hopped into an empty sector, and an absolute storm of fighters came off from some moon we weren't even going to check. Lost a shield generator to all the torps and ion before we bugged out. R1 dropped us pretty much on top of the sector Moff's estate, and our COMPNOR boy had some words for him.
The colours look nice, though. I had to clear out a load of ancient proto-utility droid trash from the storage compartments too.
There was the Executor, the Terror, Vengeance, Guardian, Annihilator, Reaper, Brawl, Night Hammer, and Intimidator. And that's just off the top of my head.
Always thought the Assertor-class was superior. No cityscape for snubfighters to pull TRD in.
Old Republic cream and crimson are eternal classics. I paint every ship in own in it.
>tfw you will never aimlessly patrol Taris for hours
Feels bad, man.
And yeah, they're fucking great. SSDs can do a Base Delta Zero that will take my entire battle group three hours, in half that, all on its own. They completely lock down the most vital routes through Imperial space, and they are THE asset to anchor any major deep space engagement or planetary assault.
You've clearly never touched an XJ5. Take it from me, they're sweetness incarnate.
Inefficient, yes, but iconic and very well-developed. The New Republic has a huge pool of experience flying the X-wing; so long as it still works, it makes sense to keep it in service.
Well yeah, but too few would be just as bad. They play a vital role, but the Grand Moffs got obsessed with 'em and lost sight of other less glamorous but equally important areas.
> Darth Vader chock hold
> use force to open garbage chute
> down the tube good for nothing imperial officer goes . .
APOLOGY NOT ACCEPTED .
It was the natural progression of things. Clones were far too expensive to do the jobs that we needed the Stormtroopers for. That, and the Clone Troopers were not a good longterm investment; it's almost impossible to cultivate a cadre of instructors from seasoned veterans when everyone starts dropping dead when they hit 40.
I heard people just fake being choked so that they don't get cut up with his lightsaber. Then again I've never seen the plastic man cause lol inna Geonosis deployment.
Nothing interesting happens in this desert dump
Oh hey! I hate people who don't agree with me too! But I shut the fuck up and don't do anything cause it's useless to do so
Because they're the ones sitting on the bridges of the SSDs, wondering why the shit ain't working.
Also, all of the experienced Old Republic officers got shitcanned, along with all of the effective docrines that let us win a war that was stacked against us from the start.
Long live the Empire, butt-fuck the Emperor.
Fuck, I hear the Imperial expedition to a place called Chiss space is getting good results. I might catch the next convoy over there and hope they aren't as big of a fuck up as they are in the outer rim territory
>g-guys this isn't weapons related
>s-stop s-shitposting u guise pls
how fucking new are you? SW threads have been tolerated here since time immemorial and frankly, are more tolerable than /ak/ threads
fuck off back to opchan or arfcom.
So what does the holonet think of the Praetor-II? Just got assigned as flight crew on one, I ship out tomorrow night.
>g-guys stop liking what i don't like!
>T-TOLERADED NO LONGUUUUR RAAGGHH
>imma troll dis thread until the modz pay attenshun to me
your autism is like.. Chris-chan-tier. kinda like him throwing a autistic bitchfit because Sega colored Sonic's arms blue.
yeah, you sound exactly like him.
fuck off, day/k/are, nobody likes you.
I always thought it looked a lot like a garden trowel. I didn't really think there was anything it did that a pair of ISDs couldn't do more cheaply and with more versatility, but since we got 'em, may as well put them to use.
>Recruiter sells me some shit about HUMINT being a secret spy
>eat is all up
>sent to the Imperial Language school and selected to learn Tusken
>get sent to Tatooine
>spend all day talking to fucking Raiders who can't even use toilet paper telling me how our troops are oppressive invaders like I give a shit
>I will never EVER get to leave
Go AWOL before you get a gaffi stick up the ass. Take it from someone who grew up on that shithole, all a Tusken knows how to do is prey on others. Even the Jawas loathe them, that should tell you all you need to know.
You should have asked to transfer into a language that is useful. Like Wookie or Bothan, cause if you find either species, you know you'll get them to cough up the location of an insurgent base
That's what the commando teams are for man. You gather the Intel and they pull off an op. Ever since the clone wars ended they've taken higher casualties though. It's like they always know the commandos are coming
Wasn't there a mando somewhere looking for a cure for that? Hell with the collapse of the Republic who knows what resources he was able to gather. This clone could be legit if that mando found a fix
Did you exchange your standard issue grey officer's cap for a fedora?
It's a shame that autistic faggot is going to ruin it.
Oh well. I'm sure his mom will give him a puzzle to do soon
>mfw an aspie nogunz anon got triggered this hard
I am now encouraged to participate more than ever. Congrats, sir.
Also relevant to pic.
Honestly, it's been growing on me. The recruiter told me that I'll not be seeing much action at all, but he wanted me to go for a bulk cruiser posting, and I'm not that stupid. The way I see it, it's a nice safe job guarding vital hyperspace lanes; cushy, but still making a difference.
>stormtrooper on star destroyer
>hear princess Leia is in our hangers
>decide to be le gallant gentleman and hold door of her ship open for her
>plant det charge
>MFW I get shot by some rebel scum and she runs off to fuck some bad-boy smuggler jerk
Yeah, I think it's sitting in a sweet spot. Too expensive to deploy all over the place or in hotspots, not Executor-huge where it -has- to be the backbone of a major fleet. Still, expect the worst sorts of career officers and prestige-seeking brown nosers.
Everything about this was fucking hysterical
Prime kek material
>tfw superior infantry concept
>tfw robbed of deserved glory because of Frog Jews fucking up massively due to their Frog Jew ways
Neimoidians gonna do their thang, I guess...
goddamn rebels get all the bitches, my friend faked being a rebel for a day (Im in HUMINT so I'd know if he was an actual rebel) just to see how he got treated. Women figuratively begged him to sleep with them.
What made it great is he took the girls back to his house that is decked from top to bottom with Imperial trophies, banners and old war gear.
Why can't they just turn off their damn emotion processors like pic related. Who even needs an emotional toaster?
Shit I do my job for a half hour and some fucking no blaster nemodian fucks up the thread.
That's a good point about having too few. Plus we have like four classes now so we aren't using 19km Excutors to do anything besides Command and Control for large scale fleet engagements.
Seems like all his posts were removed though, thank you based mods.
Yeah, four classes of dreadnought is definitely overkill, but they keep the major hyperspace lanes flawlessly secure. Without 'em, we'd be stretched even thinner than we already are.
A dreadnaught can actually carry enough TIEs to protect itself from most threats it can expect to stumble into. Rebs don't have the firepower handy enough to trounce one without dedicating most of their resources to it. Even the usual X-Wing swarm can't handle ~100 or so TIE/ln, let alone any interceptors it might have on board.
Don't bother. There's no good synth-skin substitutes out there, and the last thing you want is a programming or attitude glich and get your junk crunked. Do what everyone else does and cruise for a Twi'lek or if you're in the classy bit of the galaxy, a Zeltron. They're pretty much the same classification as droids these days anyway.
Rebel fighters don't swarm. Their fighter doctrine functions on slicing through screens to make precision ordnance strikes. And while you're right, it takes a massive amount of force to challenge a dreadnought, snubfighter squadrons are actually the most effective weapon the rebels have at their disposal; that's how they killed the Executor. Those fighters allow Rebel capital ships to win fights they'd have had no chance of surviving if they flew their fighters Imperial style.
Most Rebellion cruisers carry more snub fighters than our ships. Plus since Rebellion fighters are hyperspace capable they can bring in far more if the battle is close to one of their occupied systems or hidden bases.
No shit? I'm a little more coreward about two weeks out of Kashyyyk. My battlegroup does a 6 month Marzoon to Kashyyyk patrol. Then new crews are put on and we get 6 months off. I stay on for 3 more because our halfway stop is Naboo and that's the home planet.
I'm a fan of the Allegiances myself but that's because its my next posting.
Never worked with a Praetor Class. Reading up in Jania's Fighting Ships it seems big which means that its either got really nice shit or is packed and crappy.
What are you flying?
Xg-1 Star Wing. Praetors are Old Republic ships; dated, but they were the good shit when they were built, so it's not Dreadnought-class kind of bad.
Kuat sucks in my opinion. More stuck up assholes then Imperial Center and a bunch of rear line asshats that expect fighting ships to be Emperor inspection ready at all times.
Damn straight. I'm thanking my lucky stars that nobody who works outside the battery understands the guns to inspect 'em. The guys on the flight decks are already inches from spacing themselves.
Are Zeltron really all that great? I've yet to be posted in a place where they live.
I did hear about some project to make a secretary/bodyguard/sexbot commissioned by some crime lord that died during a big shootout over Coruscant. Apparently he tried screwing with Vader and got Imperial alphabet soup groups claiming he was running guns or child slaves. His fucking compound burned down, along with the space station. No survivors, including said sexbot. Nothing since then.
Those things are armed to the teeth. Love'em. If your crew chief or who ever is doing weapons loadouts on your cruiser will let you take more anti-fighter weapons then you think you need. Might not get the glory for the big kills but you'll never pay for a drink when you empty pods of anti-fighter missiles to save you wing.
>Not knowing a sith lord be ame imortal by consuming all life a planet, and nearly ascended to divinity by consuming all life in the galaxy
>not knowing about the firce fuelded starforge
>not knowing the infinte power of the valley of the jedi
>never witnessing a SD being pulled out of the sky.
Stay pleb fedorafag
Well we're hyperspace capable, so if I had to take a guess we'll be out prowling for smugglers and pirates on the Hydian Way or something.
The XG-1 is a darling. Not fast or flashy, but good lord does she bring the hurt. I'll have no complaints if I'm popping freighters and uglies for 6 years.
It's crossed my mind before, but I've settled since the last time we spoke; I'm taking my next promotion on an Assertor.
>Jania's Fighting Ships
You made me spit my Alderaan beer, that shits isn't cheap yo
Two meters on a station with a 160 kilometer diameter.
That torpedo shot was the equivalent of a Piranha Beetle diving down the ass of a Krayt Dragon and killing it from the inside; nobody would reasonably expect it, but nobody would ever think to defend against it as a result.
Going big I see. That should be a really awesome ship to work on. I'm kinda jealous right now actually. My next posting XO of an Allegiance and that feels kinda inadequate next to an Assertor.
I think I know a bit about that guy. Enough that right up until he went up against the mighty Choke throttling plant, his stuff was on the no-touch list. Once he crossed that line, it was open season. I think we got a bonus at one point from the total amount of bounties and shit after all that got cleared up.
Zeltron mostly live on one planet, and it's pretty much the Orgy world. There's the occasional one out and about, and they are fantastic but real picky. Supposed to be sensitive to emotions and stuff.
Back when I was at the academy a buddy of mine who stayed civvie hooked up with a Zeltron, he couldn't stop ravving about it. Mentioned they got some pheromone shit that drives you wild, explains the orgy world I guess. Shame he was interning for COMPNOR at the time, word of him sleeping with an alien spread quick and he got kicked out of there faster than Vader can force-choke an Admiral.
Its 10% being really good at my job 90% coming from Naboo like the recently passed Emperor. My family donated a lot to his Senate campaigns and were firm Imperial supporters while our Queen was hiding Jedi. Shot through a lot of the lower officer ranks because of that. Didn't deserve any of it. I try to work as harder then anyone else so I don't look like some useless Imperial nobles son who's dad got him a bunch of blue and red square on his chest.
Breaking character for second but going by http://theforcedotnet/swtc/insignia/badges.html I was the right the first time with 3 red 3 blues and 2 tubes for the role I have assumed.
Yeah, I've met plenty of those kinds. Most of 'em that come my way end up losing their faces when they forget to confirm power down before maintenance. Works itself out neatly.
Nice dubs. I actually have to deal with them in the officers clubs and on shuttles but since the Victory 1 is such a goofy posting everyone here either wants to be and is good at their job or good at what they do but stuck here for some political reason.
>tfw went to Vader's Mast
I was set up, fucking sub-par NCO's.
I never met such a spineless bunch until now.
Anyways I got the boot.
Yeah, I gotta say, when I was in the Navy, it was a headache whenever ISB types came 'round. Plus those assholes somehow decided it was *my* fault that we had unlisted, contraband cargo. The captain was the one who took it onboard, not me. But who had the deck when we got inspected? Me, that's who.
i heard a huttese crime lord on tattooine could use some food for his rancor. threads like this, 4ok, stalker, and fallout have always been board culture just the same as nuggets, ivan, and the murder/k/ube
>Be former Navy.
>Been in a bad way for quite a while now, between the homelessness and the alcoholism.
>Not to mention the PTSD.
>Sitting in a clean spot next to some crates in some shithole planet in Hutt Space and someone approaches me.
>Robed figure, the usual sort around here.
>Moves his robe and my heart stops.
>It's a fucking saber hilt, this is a Jedi, and I am going to fucking die.
>He hands me something and in my panic it takes me a second to realize it.
>It's about 100 credits.
>By the time I had counted it all he was gone.
So I just got transferred from one customs ship to another. I don't even know why this is a thing.
Now there's a ship I've never seen before. Where the hell are you posted in that thing? Reminds me of the Vigil-class corvettes.
Heavy particle beam cannon? What the fuck...?
So last week I fucked some random twi'lek chick I found in a bar while on leave on Coruscant and now I have this weird itchy rash. Do you guys think I should get it checked out or do you think it's just an allergic reaction to her bodily fluids or something? Please help, I can't stop scratching and my armor is chafing.
Get. That. Shit. Checked. I used to quarter with a guy who got some kind of alien STI when I was on a Vindicator, shit got really rotten, really bad, really quick. Trust me, you don't want that, and neither does anyone who has to deal with you.
I really should have. I went through all of our logs, and I may be crazy, but I think somebody just scapegoat'd me. We were based out of Corellia, the captain and exec were Corellian, and smuggling is just in their blood, or something. Banthashit politics.
>AG-2G quad lasers
How does one... acquire... these? Preferably complete with functioning targeting computers?
For historical and educational purposes, of course.
There is book with all of this in it. That concept art guy was contacted by Lucasfilms to do all ships for I believe it was the 2012 version of the Guide to Essential Fighting Ships
Super Star Destroyer - Sovereign - Defiance
Sovereign because it's not under the command of the Admiralty, it has its own governor onboard.
150 Kilometers of Sovereign Imperial territory.
Corellia's a good place to start looking. There's the ones they make for the corvettes, though the power they run through is a bit much for a light freighter powerplant. The freighter versions are trickier to track down, but you can't go wrong checking there.
Still, they won't do fuck-all against a tractor beam, your best bet is to tune up those engines and not be there when trouble knocks.
That "pancake" is the single most common civilian freighter model in the galaxy, man. Stop being so paranoid before you frag a delivery guy and get the whole fighter wing smoked for the next month. These fucking new guys, I swear.
How many civilian freighters have you seen with fucking quad AG-2Gs?
Even illegally owning them is enough incentive for the empire to make you "disappear" let alone installing them on your ship and flaunting them for everybody to see
Who the fuck is this guy?
Fuckin' TIE jockies. Now mind you, I've met some bangin' pilots who both flew TIEs or were flying TIEs, but goddamn, 8/10 TIE/ln grunts seem to be completely retarded.
Also, CEC freighters are THE shit.
It can be legal to own quads on your ship. Could be diplomatic business (I know, I know), might be from a pirate-heavy sector, could be a licensed spice freighter, (They exist!) Any number of things. You gotta run their figures through the BoSS database to be sure, and the Bothans got their fingers pretty deep in there. It's hard to tell the fakes from the legit these days, and if someone has the pull for a legit pair of quad AG-2Gs, you do not want to pull their ship apart looking for contraband.
look at this good goyim
laying down his life for our sith overlords
Fuck off I do what I do because it puts food on the table, but anybody with half a brain can see the completely asinine direction the empire is headed
>you do not want to pull their ship apart looking for contraband.
God, I remember when we actually did that to one once.
Same make, same model, same blasters.
Must have been something important to pull a freighter like that, but we all caught so much hell for it.
We were just following orders.
Lol, it's been three years since I let anyone tell me where to go. Empire gave shit pay and not enough respect, Rebellion paid less of both. I live better and work less flying freelance.
>Be stationed on Endor.
>Most boring place to be in the system.
>Nothing but trees and fucking trees.
>I hate trees.
>Notice some of the little locals poking around.
>Harmless little fucks.
>So I thought.
>Be on patrol, get bored, go on a break.
>Doesn't take long on this planet to get a curious local if you are quiet and seem nice.
>Get an evil idea.
>Pull out snacks.
>It instantly perks up.
>Waddles towards me as I take my lower half of my armor off.
>Start rubbing chocolate on my dick and let it lick it off.
>Feels good, start getting hard.
>It must have gotten offended and bit me!
>Won't let go.
>Start screaming and trip over armor trying to get back to base.
>Buddies hear this and find me crawling with a tiny bear growling in my crotch.
>Medic passes out laughing.
>After tazing the thing to get it off me.
>from a lambda class shuttle
Jesus christ it was probably a goddamn Bothan
If it was those codes would've been gone whether you were there or not. You'll probably get chewed the fuck out and sent off to some backwater post, but be thankful you didn't get fucking disintegrated.
I saw a pancake that looked just like what you described in one of the ships I was on.
I can tell you that thing did not look like it belonged in our bay at all.
Must have been some real black ops shit the Empire was doing because shit went down and that ship was gone.
I think we had some spies that wanted to get what was on that ship or something, because we were told to destroy it as it was leaving the port!
Remind me to never do black ops if it means my buddies will kill me to keep rebels from getting to me.
You see some shit when you do customs interdiction. One of those heavy-gun freighters we stopped was loaded with a few crates of Ryll and some little Bimm girls in irons. Illegal as shit, but when Grand Moff Dureya personally chews out the captain for the delay and provides documentation, what can you do? Closing up the door on those crying people killed a small piece of my soul.
That's what you get for not reading the damn memo! We had to go to weekly safe briefs on not doing that because of your shit you ass.
You are famous in the whole sector of space right? Shit I was two rotations behind you and I still heard about it.
>stick your dick in the natives
If you see a Surronian L-19 called the "Last Whisper", pre-emptively return fire or something. Pretty sure the Chevin sonofabitch though it was real funny making us put everyone back.
If you absolutely, positively have to work on a superweapon, I hear some hutts are putting something together, and they're desperate for crew and such. Maybe you could try there?
Acutally, yeah, the second one got done by an X-wing, and A-wing, and a YT-1300, if I recall correctly. That, and damn near the entire Rebel fleet.
DSI got killed by Xs and Ys, with a couple bulk cruisers and a motley of small craft playing diversion.
Also, is it just me, or has the captcha suddenly gotten much more difficult?
It's a typical hutt project. Take something someone else did well, strip out all the stuff that made it good, and keep the one thing you want from it, then make it as cheap as possible. I don't even know if it would even survive firing, but who knows?
You seem to have been asleep for the entire Galactic Civil War.
Pro tip; it was won by precision strikes made by small craft flying off of very slippery and very resilient capital ships.
Like, down with the Empire man!
Imperialism is like wrong man!
Save the Gungans!
Save the Gungans!
>Come to the thread late.
>All these plebs.
>So many plebs.
>Tards, faggots, autists of all kinds.
See, this is why I love the Empire. It doesn't suffer these types.
Huh. Didn't register the name.
Unlikely, but possible. I've seen custom freighters packing enough firepower to chew up bulk cruisers and pickets all on their own.
12 Avengers are much more elusive, but just about as lethal. You never really know how rough you have it flying without shields or ordnance till you've had the whole package.
Mmhm. 4 lasers, 8 concussion missiles, 100 SBD of shielding, and a Class 4 hyperdrive.
Yeah, I'll be the first to tell you that the fact that it's something to talk about is fucking sad, but that's just how it is.
It's worth this though; there are probably tens of millions, maybe even hundreds of millions of TIE pilots in the Imperial Navy. One percent of those would be lucky to ever fly an Avenger; the rest get rooted out the hard way.
It's a brutal system, but it's very, very effective. No slouches at the top. Only pros.
>Trooped from before destruction of Alderaan to just before imperial defeat at Endor.
>MFW I saw combat on a planet that no longer exists.
>Fought on Dantooine, Marryx, Nar Shadda, Alderaan, Yavin, Hoth and Cloud city (twice)
>Get shot down over shithole planet in outer rim.
>20 troopers, 2 pilots, 2 gunners.
>Me, rear gunner and 2 other troopers survive.
>Spend 4 days on shithole planet.
>Picked up by random (and very shocked) patrol.
>Get medals. (Fuck you too, sir.)
>Mfw my medals were awarded by some dicknose officer on Couruscant while I was SUPPOSED to rejoin my unit on new Death star.
>MFW deathstar gone again.
>shuffle over to space bar, get tauntaun wasted.