if you pretend you're loading a shotgun whenever you replace

I do dis.

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damn

>>23446402
well fuck

>>23446402
All the damn time.

Alternatively
>shlunk shlunk shlunk shlunk

Reloading a lever gub

Every time I change the channel I pretend like I'm shooting the guy on screen.

>>23446402
since i was 7 niggggaaaaaaaaaa

>>23446438
>>shlunk shlunk shlunk shlunk
Are we on /hc/ now?

Well fuck.

This is my favorite thread now. I will do these things with my own remote from now on, I wish I had before.

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Anyone else practice TD on random shit

I don't but I will now

noguns: the thread

>putting batteries in flashlight
>grenade launcer

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>would pretend a n64 controller was a mp5k and the rumble pack was the magazine

>>23446485
>launcer
launcher*

>>23446478
Was literally walking back to my room with a banana 5 minutes ago with correct td

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Whenever I use the lock on my bathroom door I imagine I'm cycling a bolt action rifle.

>>23446478
Anything with a grip lol

>>23446505
this too

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mfw yardwork

>>23446482
>implying hasguns weren't doing this since they were 7.

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>>23446402
>>23446478

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>>23446402
Hello!

>>23446402
Do you also keep your finger off the trigger when walking around with a spray bottle

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n-no, I never did any of this shit in this thread.

w-what a bbunch of loser

>>23446402
Ya got me

>>23446482
I've had guns since I was 7 or 8 (just a few 22s I think). I have an AR, Glock, Colt Trooper, a few Rossis, Marlin, a side-by-side Remington, and still building the collection. Thing is, my Dad owns most of the other guns I want and let's me use them whenever I want (can list if you want). I will also inherit them. So there not much more I need to buy (I need a battle rifle).

>>23446507
This is me.

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>i pretend im holding a machine gun

Got me.

>>23446599
Fuck Yes!

>>23446402
I also load bateries in a TV remote like I'm loading shells in a shotgun.

What about holding a broom or anything similar? I always feel like I'm toting a rifle.

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>>23446505

Not exactly related, but I remember this story about an antigunsnazi mom who banished all gun type things from her family's home. No toyguns of any kind (super soakers even), no bideo games that have guns (at all).

When kids then started biting their breakfast toast into the shape of guns and keep playing cops and robbers, she gave up.

>>23446534
Ohayo!

I got suspended from middle school for a week for doing this with the classroom's remote, pointed it at my best friend, and said "bang!"

Good times.

>>23446679
I take it you're on that suspension right now.

>>23446679
>2. You will immediately cease and not continue to access the site if you are under the age of 18.

>>23446714
No, I've been out of school for quite some time now.

>>23446478
on my xbox 360 controller

>>23446679

>boys used to take their pocket knives to school daily
>now you get suspended for referring to the likeness of a harmless object to a gun

>>23447139
>boys used to take their pocket knives to school daily
implying they don't still do that?

>>23446478
Anything with a trigger yeah, like drills or window cleaner

Yarp!

>>23446402
Posted

Is there any other way to do it?

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>>23446402

Fine, you got me.

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>>23446478
I do it with my dog's retractable leash if I don't catch myself. It doesn't even have a trigger with a bit at the top that locks it, when I do that I pretend I'm taking off the safety.

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Shit. Every time.

>>23447677
Oc by the way. Lub you, /k/.

>>23447677
Lucy X Yyvan?

What up with you eye, weird angle or what?

MOAR!!!

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>>23447709
Not me; some chick I lived with for a while. Not a Lucy, a Jessica. And here you go, anon. These aren't high art or anything, just pics we took while drunk.

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>>23447743
Lol and apparently she edited on my pc while even more drunk; didn't see the purple eye and background in the thumbnail.
And yes, she has a lazy eye. It's cute; it gets worse when she get more drunk. Not even noticable when she's sober. She weighs like 93 pounds, we always had a lot of fun.


Related because women aree totally weapons in a certain context.

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>>23447771
>Related because women aree totally weapons in a certain context
I'll allow it.

>>23446402
But one of the batteries points towards you.

http://youtu.be/f_L3VhlbdQI

watch from 6:49 to 6:55.

>SCLUNK SCLUNK

Did this all the time when I was living in the states

>>23447828
>death by battery

>>23447828
>autistic TD of the remote is all that's keeping us alive

>>23446491
this

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Ohh yes. Try using a pressure washer, I pretend to be a submachine gunner. Anything with a grip gets td and shooty shooty. Also I use the specks on my car's windshield as a bead to shoot just about anything while driving (always pick a few allies to protect)

>>23446478
FUCK YEAH!!!

I only hond my cell phone like this!!!

>>23447305
Shit, he's right

I sure am glad I'm not alone in my gun-based autism.

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>>23446402
>pretend
Plebs

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>mfw I always use proper trigger discipline when carrying a power drill

Hi

>>23448487
fire it

Nice to know I wasn't alone in doing that.
>whenever i take a knife out of the drawer I make sure to slide it so it makes a SHINGG noise
>may or may not do a pose afterwards

>>23448516
It keeps firing out of battery

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>>23448549

Guilty of this since I was a kid

>>23448549
You magnificent bastard

fuck

Shid.

I also play pistol with my remotes...

>>23446478
cell, food, remote, etc...

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>>23448549

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>>23448638
my nigga

wow we must have had the same childhood!

>>23446402
guilty of this because my remote is the big-ass kind that has 3 AAs in a single long tube.

When i finish a roll of toiletpaper, i pretend it's a grenade, and toss it.

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>>23448549

>>23448549
Bravo

>>23446402
I practice tactical remote reloads.

>>23446402
Y-y-you mean I'm n-not the only one?

>>23446478
College poorfag here, I practice TD on the scan guns at work.

>>23446402
For me, remotes were always space ships. Flashlights were shotguns.

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>>23448549
God damn man!

god dammit

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>>23448824
I used to have giant space battles with remotes. Thanks for posting brings me back

>>23448824
Remotes were shotguns, flashlights were grenade launchers.
> MUH THOOMP

>>23446402
Never on a calculator like that, I do whenever it's one where they slide out of view and you keep filling

>>23448872
Well, it really depended on how the batteries were configured. If they were side by side, it was a spaceship. Inline could be a shotgun

When I change the batteries on my xbox 360 controller I pretend I'm changing the battery pack on a laser pistol

>>23446478
yep

>>23448932
MY NIGGA

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am i the only one who thinks changing the toilet paper is like loading an m203 or artillery piece?

I practice TD with glue guns and I always pretend my umbrella is an SKS.

>>23448964
I find it's more like an M249, kind of

>empty
>CHANGING
>slap the empty roll off
>slide a new one on
>feed the new roll into butthole

>>23448994
shit

I mean just unstick it

>>23446478
Spray bottles, bug spray, point of sale scan guns

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Am I the only one who makes B-29 noises while taking a shit and pretends like the toilet bowl is Hiroshima?

I knew one day this thread would happen

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>>23449100

>>23448994
I don't know why, but my sides are in orbit from that

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>>23446402

>loading a shotgun
>not replacing the electron packs in your laser pistol

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>>23448994
>feed the new roll into butthole

>tfw pretending that my pens were guns in middle/high school
>pretending that you're field stripping a gun by taking apart the pen as quickly as possible
>referring to pens by gun model names (ok-tier pens were glocks, shit-tier pens were hi-points,)
>pretending to load an artillery shell everytime you change ink cartridges

>>23448994
what the fuck anon

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>>23449100
Every time I take a shit it reminds me of dropping the Tsar bomb on Hiroshima.
. . . my poor toilet

>>23448337
>not removing dirt with imaginary napalm

>>23448337
>Also I use the specks on my car's windshield as a bead to shoot just about anything while driving
guilty

There is a label machine where I work that feeds from a big role of labels and every time I change the label roll I pretend I'm loading a belt-fed machine gun

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>>23448549
that was good

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I always pretend I'm loading a round when I put in a K-Cup. I read somewhere that people are actually reloading them now, like fired brass.

>>23450059
Do you yell "FIRE IN THE HOLE," and cover your ears

Because if you aren't you're doing it wrong

>>23448337
>pressure washer
>not pretending you have a flamethrower
the fuck

>>23446402
You got me

>>23446402
i wish i could pretend

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>>23448549

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>>23450087
>load cup
LOS!
>cover ears and duck head
>wait for coffee to brew while taking cover under a table

>>23450059
>not installing an aftermarket cartridge ejector for your coffee machine

>>23447168
If you get caught you will usually get immediately expelled.

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I'm glad I'm not alone. I love you, /k/

>>23446478
No. I don't suffer the mildly annoying effects of autism like so many of my boardmates do.

If anyone owns a xbone 360 controller you will know this feel. It's like loading an over/under shotgun

>>23450133
Fucking this

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>>23448549

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>>23446402
> pretend

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>>23450059
>>23450087

THIS.

>and pretending the different coffee flavours are different types of ordinance

>Seattles best = HE round
>Tullys = AP round
>Dunkin Donuts = Smoke round
>Tea of any kind = SR practice rounds

All the damn time

>>23446491
>mp5k
>not d5k deutsche

Nigga, is you serious?

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>>23446402
My bigass 2 foot long maglite makes the sexiest reloading sound when you put in some D-cells.

I take them out and back in regularly.

>>23453173
>doesn't have fun tics
>boardmates
>with you

No thanks.

>>23446478
TD on window cleaner, holding it pointed at ground.

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>>23446491
YES

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One time I caught myself with TD on a chicken wing.
I also pretend drumsticks are stick grenades and occasionally prepare to throw them by pulling off the ligament cap at the end of the bone

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Okay

>>23446402
You got me

>>23446402
yes

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>>23448549

Guilty.

Guilty

>>23446402
Fuck

You people are weird.

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>>23455735
please

Am I the only one who reloads an invisible pistol when I'm sitting around and nobody's watching? But yeah I do pretty much everything that's been posted in this thread so far.

>>23455764
I like girls with big caulks if you know what I mean.

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Well this fucker right here has the batteries in it like a damn shotgun tube, so of course I make a quiet click click click as I load it.

>>23455781
I always pretend I'm clearing my house whenever I get back from work.

I was sweeping the room the other day, grew bored, and started clearing rooms; checking corners etc.

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>>23455784
I bet you do.

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>>23455878
No one ever looks up.

>>23446402
Dammit, how did you know?

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When I take a dump, I imagine my self inside a B-29 droping bombs over Japan and I start singing this song.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yyf059psVew


It's that normal???

>>23455868
Holy shit, yeah. Sometimes i like to tactical around my appartment with my knife drawn, clearing all the rooms. Shit's fun.

>>23446402
Godnabit you got me

>>23446478
I wouldnt say I practice it, but I notice out of habit I perform TD on the gas pumps. Tis a good thing.

>>23453173
Enjoy your inevitable ND

>>23446402

I thought I was the only one...

>>23448549

maximum overcarlos

>Windex Bottle
>Trigger Discipline
>Power Drill
>Trigger Discipline
>Pumping Gas
>Trigger Discipline

IT'S UNIVERSAL!

>>23455891
But that's bullshit; sure you sweep from bottom to top but you still look up in the end.

>>23456854
>look up in the end
Just before you get slaughtered

ya got me

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reloading

I like pretending that I'm reloading a gun. Sometimes pistols, sometimes rifles, sometimes shotguns.

I swear every 10th thought I have involves guns.

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>>23446402
>every goddamned time.

yes...

Also any cordless power tool I pretend I'm loading a magazine

>>23446402
Yhea, staple guns too, they are great.

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>>23449100

>>23457712
I use cordless drills all the time at work and my boss gives me funny looks when i do this. I also use the speed selector as racking the slide

>>23458026
BAN SEMI AUTOMATIC HIGH CAPACITY ASSULT STAPLERS

>be graveyard shift janitor at a casino
>be really fucking bored one day
>decide my bathroom is full of hostiles, gotta purge the infection
>make bandolier with trash bags
>fill said bandolier with foaming soap canisters (Gernades)
>also dual wielding windex bottles
>BREACH AND CLEAR
>I boot open my closet door and frag out by the urinals
>highly pressurized foaming soap explodes everywhere
>preform dynamic entry, making sure to check my corners
>make sure not to muzzle sweep my self
>mag dump into the mirrors, they never even saw it coming
>gotten open up the toilet stalls to make sure all hostiles are eliminated
>grab my battering ram (mop)
>GO GO GO
>break shitty plastic mop stick on the stall door, breach is successful though
>hear enemy movement to my six
>frag the stall behind me, foaming soap begins to arc gracefully into the air

Then a customer waltzes in and ruins everything.

>thought about giving him the djibouti shooty with some windex

>>23446402
Batteries in remotes, flashlights and laser pointers.
Not sure if any fellow sciencefags here, but I also do it with test tubes in a test tube rack or centrifuge, and when I'm putting a sample in the bore of a magnet (long vertical tube) I pretend i'ts a mortar.
Also this
>>23446505
all the damn time.

>>23458380
fake or exaggerated/10

>>23446402
well shit

>>23448866
Except in FC3 there's pirates literally everywhere. He also has no formal training.

>>23446402
fuck

>>23446402
got me

Goddammit, I knew this day would come

>>23448994
Don't forget to swish back and forth with your finger to make sure the feed pawls are working

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shit

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>>23455878

everytime i enter a building, a room, staircase, im checking corners, clearing hallways, clearing rooms as i go.
even walking to my apartment building from the parking area, constantly looking for ambush points, possible sniper positions, scanning for tangos errywhere, erryday

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>>23457712
that td

>>23453493
huehue

I like you

>>23446402
Who doesn't?

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>>23446402
Fuck.
I also secretly wish my car had some kind of bolt-action, cartridge based ignition.

>>23446402
guilty

>>23446478
I do it with light guns, power tools, and [spoiler] nerf guns[/spoiler]

>>23446478
> no one noTiced or cares about extreme length finger.

>>23446402
Yes. Everytime.

>buy 2x 24piece pack of batteries for $3 a brick
>$6 for 48 alkaline batteries
>got my mother into the deal for her household stockpile
>tfw glorious deal

well shit

>>23453493
Made my day

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i do this unfortunately

>>23446862
Fuck yeah, cutscenes aren't a place to have fingers on triggers.

>>23448549
I seriously do not get it

>>23446402
My eternal vice.

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I like to pretend that the lock is a safety which i remove when i bring the tape up.

>>23446478
Higher pressure washer
Fuel pump
Drills

> Standard office Swingline stapler
> Hold with right hand, new staples in left.
> Flick open stapler with right thumb.
> Hold staple catch open with right thumb.
> Load staples like a bolt-action rifle clip
> Snap close staple catch
> Flick stapler close with right hand.

>>23464337
I don't get the joke either.

>>23447168
>>23453095

lmao i went to school in the uk and took my swiss army knife in everyday, even used it in front of teachers a couple of times and they didn't give a fuck

>>23464857
Sounds like some gay artillery jargon
Firing out of battery

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I do load my remote shaped shotgun too.

I also pretend that toilet roll tubes are empty chambers for slightly smaller toilet roll tubes/ grenades.

also, would tactically reload staplers and hold them like guns but instead of the normal way I would open the stapler hold it by the spring and hold it like a machine pistol

pic related just turn it upside down

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>>23446402

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>>23453295
I think this is both a good way to get 911 called on you while doing yard work and I still would pay money for this.

>>23465019
If you are stalking around with a screwdriver you are doing it wrong. If it is in your hand you should really be using it within the next few minutes at most.

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>Be aspergers 16 year old
>Inna Miami
>Hurricane season
>Putting up the shutters when the old man
>Has cordless drill with attachment for screwing in wing nuts that looks like a small slash hider
>MFW I pretend I screwed on a silencer and go pew pew with it

>>23464990
The ones that I have don't have the spring attached to the roof, so I have to keep my thumb on the catch while loading staples.

>>23462027
Make one.
Basically, have the ignition not linked to the battery but to a power-crank.

>>23446478
Motherfucker. I TD on spray bottles.

>>23465108
*Flash hider

>>23448452

saved

>>23448452
"Nobody needs 30 power cells in their hunting laser gun, anon."

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>>23446402

Every time i load my office stapler it feels like i'm pushing a clip into a nugget or SKS.

>>23447771
Did you have the making of babby?

>>23458380

Janitor here.

I thought I was the only one who pretended to be slicing the pie whilst cleaning.

Also I do Windex drive-byes on the counters/mirrors.

>>23458380
>thought about giving him the djibouti shooty with some windex

do it faggot

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>>23446402
always

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>>23446402
I-I thought I was the only one.

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>>23465241

Every time I change the receipt printer paper, I think of it as an MG. Always disappoint when I don't get to rack it.

>>23448549
Oh snap

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Especially on 360 controllers. I pretend I'm loading a SxS shotgun.

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I load batteries in my shotguns

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>>23448487

>using detachable SKS mags

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>mfw this thread is infinitely more funny than the /k/ humor thread is

>>23465310
me too

When talking a walk outside in the evening, I often pretend I'm a platoon leader directing a platoon through my city/neighborhood. I've been watching too much Arma videos

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>>23465491
>SKS
i understand, you're merely pretending to be retarded

>>23465491
>bitching about SKS crap
>pic is clearly a VZ
Nigga you best be trolling

>>23465560
>>23465566

Well shit. Sorry 'bout that, but the VZ's bolt does look a lot like an SKSs.

>>23465610
Why, because it has a handle? The receiver looks nothing alike, there's no wood in the picture where there should be on an SKS.

>>23446553

Yes.

Yes I do.

>>23465634

Sheesh, cool it there ya assburger. Not everyone is as autistic as you when it comes to firearm identification.

I work at Starbucks
Our cups come in plastic sleeves, which are cut open at the end to get some cups and tied off again when opened
One of the most satisfying things for me at work is cutting the knot off to open sleeves, I pretend I'm cutting the topknot off of a samurai I've defeated, while quietly muttering
>You bring shame to your famiry

Tactical, yo.

Yeah

Shit

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>>23464862
probably cause you look like a little faggot.

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>>23446478
>>23462800
>tfw people re-post my picture

This makes me happy.

>>23446478
What's 'TD'?

>>23458576

Obviously he's exaggerating dude, he's using his imagination.

>>23467357
Trigger Discipline you massive faget.

Lurk moar.

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>>23450133
Guy you replied to here, I do that as well. Anything your imagination can come up with I've already pretended to do, trust me.

>>23467370
>Being so retarded that you might accidentally apply a shit-load of pressure to the trigger

Yeah, no. I'll pass thanks.

>>23467407
better safe than sorry.

>>23448549
You are my hero

>>23457712

I do this every time, even before I owned any handguns.

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>>23446402
I pretend that that the remote control is a space cruiser and the buttons are turret emplacements. The batteries are docked vessels protected by the battery cover which itself is an autonomous vessel that shields the docking bay.

>>23456787
>Hot Glue Guns
>Trigger DisciOH FUCK THAT HURTS
Never again...

>>23467407
>>23467407

*tips ND*

>>23446402
I do this

>>23446478
and this

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>tfw I do all of these things
>tfw only /k/ knows my secret
>tfw I have to hide my powerlevel because slav state

>>23467506
*slave
>Fug this keyboard

>>23467407

TD's primary function is the put those around you at ease, just like its rude to swipe people even if your gun is not loaded.

Its secondary function is to keep morons from accidentally pulling the trigger.

Its like walking with a knife or scissors blade-down. You're probably not going to trip so hard you fall flat on your face with a blade in your eye, but its just good practice.

I often make minigun spin-up sound just before I start pissing

>>23467526

Either would've worked really. As much as slavs like their guns, gun laws in slavic states are often ironically shit-tier.

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>>23467535

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>>23448816
Fellow minimum wage operator, reporting.

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>>23467535
>>23467549

Welp

>tfw I would unload and reload them and go around the house like I was clearing out baddies

>>23446478
Drills

Waterguns

Golf clubs

Guilty as charged. I also have trigger discipline with drills and pretend I'm reloading a pistol when I change batteries.

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>>23446478

pic related

>>23448549
Toppest of keks

>>23448964
I was waiting for this one. I actually pretend it's like changing a hot barrel on an MG42

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>>23446402
>mfw I'm like 8 or something
>parents buy me a big box of assorted school supplies
>contains stapler
>load stapler up in my room, drop the legs so I can hold it like a gun
>begin wildly firing and imagining the staples flying out as shell casings
>mom comes in room to find staples all over the floor
>took muh guns away

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>>23448549
bloody hell

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>>23446402

>>23455868

I do this, but there are two prisons within 15 miles of me, so I always have a somewhat serious approach when I do it.

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I like to use the ring for the 2nd valve slide like a trigger and hold the tubing under the bell to rack it.

>>23467620
>do the same thing with a mini stapler
>the thousandth time i do it, I shoot a staple right into my index finger
>stop playing with staple guns... less
>get to hs
>shop class
>staple gun
>pew pew pew pew pew

>>23467534
I'll accept this answer.

However, I think in many cases, you should have your weapon holstered or at least not in 'frosty' mode unless you intend to shoot someone. In which case your finger should be on the trigger with the full intention of firing at any second.

But what am I saying? /k/ only shoots targets down at the range.

>>23467761

And what do you shoot, Mr. Operator? Cinderblocks?

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>>23467620
>>23467741

m-muh brudders in arms

>>23467780
Hostiles.

>>23467867

Just fucking stop it. You have no idea what you're talking about. We're in peak physical condition, we've all shot firearms and while we're not competitive shooters we can hold our own against the vast majority of shooters who almost always fall into two categories, HURR I GOTS A NUGGET crowd and mallninjas that are more concerned with having tactical gear than training or shooting. Put real guns in our hands and we would rival many special operation units in training and effectiveness, guaranteed.

We get out there and train at least weekly with airsoft or other methods. We always run as realistic as possible (camo, tac vests, hydration systems, ruck sacks etc) and our guns are as close to real as you can get, even using real accessories. So we basically go out and run gunfighting simulations all the time. Talk shit all you want, you still feel all the adrenaline and gain all the experience of an actual gunfight, just without getting shot.

inb4 you call me underage, a faggot, or whatever. I'm 21 and I guarantee I could put you in the dirt. We just need to find a way to get into the business.

>>23467896
>dat fucking copypasta

>>23467896
>day old pasta

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>>23446478
yes

>>23449190
mah fuckin nigga!

>>23446402
my one fucking weakness, i even make reloading sounds puting them in and a cocking sound when putting the back on.