if you pretend you're loading a shotgun whenever you replace batteries you must post in this thread
>would pretend a n64 controller was a mp5k and the rumble pack was the magazine
Whenever I use the lock on my bathroom door I imagine I'm cycling a bolt action rifle.
n-no, I never did any of this shit in this thread.
w-what a bbunch of loser
I've had guns since I was 7 or 8 (just a few 22s I think). I have an AR, Glock, Colt Trooper, a few Rossis, Marlin, a side-by-side Remington, and still building the collection. Thing is, my Dad owns most of the other guns I want and let's me use them whenever I want (can list if you want). I will also inherit them. So there not much more I need to buy (I need a battle rifle).
Not exactly related, but I remember this story about an antigunsnazi mom who banished all gun type things from her family's home. No toyguns of any kind (super soakers even), no bideo games that have guns (at all).
When kids then started biting their breakfast toast into the shape of guns and keep playing cops and robbers, she gave up.
I do it with my dog's retractable leash if I don't catch myself. It doesn't even have a trigger with a bit at the top that locks it, when I do that I pretend I'm taking off the safety.
Shit. Every time.
Not me; some chick I lived with for a while. Not a Lucy, a Jessica. And here you go, anon. These aren't high art or anything, just pics we took while drunk.
Lol and apparently she edited on my pc while even more drunk; didn't see the purple eye and background in the thumbnail.
And yes, she has a lazy eye. It's cute; it gets worse when she get more drunk. Not even noticable when she's sober. She weighs like 93 pounds, we always had a lot of fun.
Related because women aree totally weapons in a certain context.
>Related because women aree totally weapons in a certain context
I'll allow it.
Ohh yes. Try using a pressure washer, I pretend to be a submachine gunner. Anything with a grip gets td and shooty shooty. Also I use the specks on my car's windshield as a bead to shoot just about anything while driving (always pick a few allies to protect)
>mfw I always use proper trigger discipline when carrying a power drill
I used to have giant space battles with remotes. Thanks for posting brings me back
am i the only one who thinks changing the toilet paper is like loading an m203 or artillery piece?
Am I the only one who makes B-29 noises while taking a shit and pretends like the toilet bowl is Hiroshima?
>loading a shotgun
>not replacing the electron packs in your laser pistol
>tfw pretending that my pens were guns in middle/high school
>pretending that you're field stripping a gun by taking apart the pen as quickly as possible
>referring to pens by gun model names (ok-tier pens were glocks, shit-tier pens were hi-points,)
>pretending to load an artillery shell everytime you change ink cartridges
Every time I take a shit it reminds me of dropping the Tsar bomb on Hiroshima.
. . . my poor toilet
>Also I use the specks on my car's windshield as a bead to shoot just about anything while driving
There is a label machine where I work that feeds from a big role of labels and every time I change the label roll I pretend I'm loading a belt-fed machine gun
I always pretend I'm loading a round when I put in a K-Cup. I read somewhere that people are actually reloading them now, like fired brass.
>cover ears and duck head
>wait for coffee to brew while taking cover under a table
>and pretending the different coffee flavours are different types of ordinance
>Seattles best = HE round
>Tullys = AP round
>Dunkin Donuts = Smoke round
>Tea of any kind = SR practice rounds
My bigass 2 foot long maglite makes the sexiest reloading sound when you put in some D-cells.
I take them out and back in regularly.
One time I caught myself with TD on a chicken wing.
I also pretend drumsticks are stick grenades and occasionally prepare to throw them by pulling off the ligament cap at the end of the bone
Well this fucker right here has the batteries in it like a damn shotgun tube, so of course I make a quiet click click click as I load it.
When I take a dump, I imagine my self inside a B-29 droping bombs over Japan and I start singing this song.
It's that normal???
>be graveyard shift janitor at a casino
>be really fucking bored one day
>decide my bathroom is full of hostiles, gotta purge the infection
>make bandolier with trash bags
>fill said bandolier with foaming soap canisters (Gernades)
>also dual wielding windex bottles
>BREACH AND CLEAR
>I boot open my closet door and frag out by the urinals
>highly pressurized foaming soap explodes everywhere
>preform dynamic entry, making sure to check my corners
>make sure not to muzzle sweep my self
>mag dump into the mirrors, they never even saw it coming
>gotten open up the toilet stalls to make sure all hostiles are eliminated
>grab my battering ram (mop)
>GO GO GO
>break shitty plastic mop stick on the stall door, breach is successful though
>hear enemy movement to my six
>frag the stall behind me, foaming soap begins to arc gracefully into the air
Then a customer waltzes in and ruins everything.
>thought about giving him the djibouti shooty with some windex
Batteries in remotes, flashlights and laser pointers.
Not sure if any fellow sciencefags here, but I also do it with test tubes in a test tube rack or centrifuge, and when I'm putting a sample in the bore of a magnet (long vertical tube) I pretend i'ts a mortar.
all the damn time.
everytime i enter a building, a room, staircase, im checking corners, clearing hallways, clearing rooms as i go.
even walking to my apartment building from the parking area, constantly looking for ambush points, possible sniper positions, scanning for tangos errywhere, erryday
I also secretly wish my car had some kind of bolt-action, cartridge based ignition.
I like to pretend that the lock is a safety which i remove when i bring the tape up.
> Standard office Swingline stapler
> Hold with right hand, new staples in left.
> Flick open stapler with right thumb.
> Hold staple catch open with right thumb.
> Load staples like a bolt-action rifle clip
> Snap close staple catch
> Flick stapler close with right hand.
I do load my remote shaped shotgun too.
I also pretend that toilet roll tubes are empty chambers for slightly smaller toilet roll tubes/ grenades.
also, would tactically reload staplers and hold them like guns but instead of the normal way I would open the stapler hold it by the spring and hold it like a machine pistol
pic related just turn it upside down
I think this is both a good way to get 911 called on you while doing yard work and I still would pay money for this.
>Be aspergers 16 year old
>Putting up the shutters when the old man
>Has cordless drill with attachment for screwing in wing nuts that looks like a small slash hider
>MFW I pretend I screwed on a silencer and go pew pew with it
Every time i load my office stapler it feels like i'm pushing a clip into a nugget or SKS.
Especially on 360 controllers. I pretend I'm loading a SxS shotgun.
>mfw this thread is infinitely more funny than the /k/ humor thread is
i understand, you're merely pretending to be retarded
I work at Starbucks
Our cups come in plastic sleeves, which are cut open at the end to get some cups and tied off again when opened
One of the most satisfying things for me at work is cutting the knot off to open sleeves, I pretend I'm cutting the topknot off of a samurai I've defeated, while quietly muttering
>You bring shame to your famiry
probably cause you look like a little faggot.
>tfw people re-post my picture
This makes me happy.
Guy you replied to here, I do that as well. Anything your imagination can come up with I've already pretended to do, trust me.
I pretend that that the remote control is a space cruiser and the buttons are turret emplacements. The batteries are docked vessels protected by the battery cover which itself is an autonomous vessel that shields the docking bay.
>tfw I do all of these things
>tfw only /k/ knows my secret
>tfw I have to hide my powerlevel because slav state
TD's primary function is the put those around you at ease, just like its rude to swipe people even if your gun is not loaded.
Its secondary function is to keep morons from accidentally pulling the trigger.
Its like walking with a knife or scissors blade-down. You're probably not going to trip so hard you fall flat on your face with a blade in your eye, but its just good practice.
Fellow minimum wage operator, reporting.
>mfw I'm like 8 or something
>parents buy me a big box of assorted school supplies
>load stapler up in my room, drop the legs so I can hold it like a gun
>begin wildly firing and imagining the staples flying out as shell casings
>mom comes in room to find staples all over the floor
>took muh guns away
I like to use the ring for the 2nd valve slide like a trigger and hold the tubing under the bell to rack it.
>do the same thing with a mini stapler
>the thousandth time i do it, I shoot a staple right into my index finger
>stop playing with staple guns... less
>get to hs
>pew pew pew pew pew
I'll accept this answer.
However, I think in many cases, you should have your weapon holstered or at least not in 'frosty' mode unless you intend to shoot someone. In which case your finger should be on the trigger with the full intention of firing at any second.
But what am I saying? /k/ only shoots targets down at the range.
m-muh brudders in arms
Just fucking stop it. You have no idea what you're talking about. We're in peak physical condition, we've all shot firearms and while we're not competitive shooters we can hold our own against the vast majority of shooters who almost always fall into two categories, HURR I GOTS A NUGGET crowd and mallninjas that are more concerned with having tactical gear than training or shooting. Put real guns in our hands and we would rival many special operation units in training and effectiveness, guaranteed.
We get out there and train at least weekly with airsoft or other methods. We always run as realistic as possible (camo, tac vests, hydration systems, ruck sacks etc) and our guns are as close to real as you can get, even using real accessories. So we basically go out and run gunfighting simulations all the time. Talk shit all you want, you still feel all the adrenaline and gain all the experience of an actual gunfight, just without getting shot.
inb4 you call me underage, a faggot, or whatever. I'm 21 and I guarantee I could put you in the dirt. We just need to find a way to get into the business.