> search catalog for humor thread
> no results
/k/ pls respond
A greentext of my favorite ever Army story:
>Be in Afghanistan, on a tiny outpost.
>It's a shitty place. Like real shitty. In the mountains, get random sustained IDF barrages regularly, nobody can drive to use because the roads are covered in IEDs, resupply is only by airdrop, Blackhawks are afraid to fly in during daylight because of insurgent RPGs and an AA cannon they supposedly have.
>So, we were pretty isolated.
>Isolated people start to go a little nuts, and stupid stuff becomes funny, and turns into an inside culture.
>Some of the guys watch a marathon of Vietnam movies on a laptop one night.
>Start to jokingly refer to insurgents as "gooks".
>Meme turns into normal slang on the outpost. Even the 1SG uses the word.
>One day one of the platoon Lt's gets injured and evac'd out. His replacement shows up the night before we suspect a big attack is going to hit us.
>Up at 5am, prestaged in bunkers with weapons.
>New Lt is next to me. He's lost, trying to get his bearings, so talks to me.
>Mostly consists of me pointing out things that burned down or exploded.
>Bunch of gunfire and small explosions nearby.
>Some real close fire. (Turns out insurgents had attacked ANP, who had a position that lead to a school which bordered our outpost.)
>Bunch of dirt QRF guys run by (multicams faded to flat brown) screaming "Gooks inside the wire!
>"GOOKS INSIDE THE WIRE!" people screamed and started moving to various positions.
>I'll never forget the look on that Lt's face. He must have thought he'd been through a time machine.
Another story, not as long. Same place.
>Guy is leaving a few weeks earlier than everyone else. I don't remember the reason exactly.
>He was a cool kid. 18 or 19, slightly pudgy for infantry, but a DM that was always funny to talk to.
>Remember how I said Blackhawks never flew in or landed during the day in this area?
>Well his helicopter is scheduled to land at about 8am. Very unusual.
>He's like "Whatever, I'm getting out here."
>So I'm free, and decide to help him get his shit on the helicopter. A green dufflebag, and a doublestacked deployment roller bag is everything he has.
>We wait on the HLZ, and in comes the helicopter.
>We run up and heave the bags on.
>He is just about to get in when a round (could have been a PG-2, PG-7, recoilless, or whatever, we never knew) fires from one distance hilltop, goes over the HLZ, and detonates on a lower hilltop opposite it.
>The Blackhawk takes the fuck off and flies away.
>The kid is still on the HLZ with me, watching his ride and all his stuff fly away to parts unknown.
this wasn't funny
nor is this.
It's like that stupid fucking "i burnt down my woods" and "I drank hoppes for fun" stories that are so fucking stupid, only /k/ would believe them.
>onbly slash kay guys so fahnny maymay only kay ;)))))
No, it was not funny. There is no punch line. All it was was a picture of a grumpy cat. You should feel bad for posting that image.
>not knowing skin-walkers frequent this board.
Not really /k/, but i posted it a while ago and everyone lost their shit so...
Look, whether you or anyone cares for that particular thing is purely academic. The fact of it, bitching about a certain thing has never, and never will get it leave any faster. It just won't. The best thing you and I can do is ignore it.
Remember, this is 4chan. Bump the threads you like so they survive, and ignore what you don't like, and it'll eventually die off.
Force me to leave, faggot. I've got no problem with the rest of the thread excluding >>22425344
cancer watermark for ants and >>22425397 advice dog spinoff garbage
I lost my shit the first time I read this:
What the say? Did you just say fuck me about? You bitching a little? I’ll have you graduate I know top of my Seals in the Navy Classes, and I’ve been raided in numerous Al Quaeda secret involvements, and I have killed over 300 confirmations. I am a trained gorilla. In warfare, I’m the sniper arm in the entire US force tops. You are targeting me but I’m just another nothing. I will fuck you with precision the wipes of which has never been liked before on this scene. Earth, fuck my marking words. You can get away with thinking that shit over me to the Internet? Fuck again, thinker. As we spy I am networking my secret speaking across the trace and your IP is being prepared right now so you better storm the maggots. The wipes that storms out of the pathetic little thing. You call your life? You’re fucking dead kids. I can be any time. I can weigh you in over seven hundred kills, and that’s my bear hands. Not only am I extensively accessed by trains, but I have no arms for combatting the entire arsenal United States, and I will use it to to wipe your miserable ass. You shit the face off of the continent. If only you could have commented what unholy cleverness your little “retribution” was about. To bring down upon you, maybe you would have fucked your tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re holding the pay, you goddamn idiot. I will drown in shit fury. Sincerely, Your dead fucking kiddo.
Well fuck. That's just a thirty clip clip.
My inventor's up in Heaven
but i've been cappin' fools since 1947
7.62, bound to penetrate
an appetite for slaughter i just might satiate
A tool for murder? I should be banned?
Bitch I was invented to defend the Motherland!
Get that polymer shit out of my face
I'm straight representin' for the wood-and-steel master race!
I don't give a damn about mods, you get what you get.
I'm a vanilla motherfucker, don't you ever forget!
30 rounds of stopping power, nothin' to cough at.
I'm loud motherfucker, I go 'BLAT-BLAT'!
300 yards effective range, think I need more?
Bitch you're insane!
You know I never jam.
Dirt and dust? I just don't give a damn!
Still not convinced? Head to the Gulag.
Do not pass 'Go'
Do not collect 200 rubles
Don't claim to be the best, don't you dare,
Cuz I'M the Number One in warfare!
>More MUH WOOD
Not even the Russians agree with you.
Daily reminder all of Kalashnikov's later designs were made with polymer.
That works, would be more Russian that way, seems like it would be a bitch to get ammo for though.
Thank you greatly anon. Have this pic.
>yfw this is actually a canon thing because of Jeri the xenomorph.
The deadliest biological weapon in the universe, and now it can also use firearms.
Straight from /tg/s newest creation, the Chapter Master game
>mfw I just started playing "old school" runescape a week ago
That's the exact opposite of the message
No matter how many years I spend on this site shit still catches me off guard. czechbro....
>Bullet weight/type: 3,500 gr (227 g) Brass FNTC Solid
>Velocity: 1,500 ft/s (460 m/s)
>Energy: 17,500 ft/lbs
because deep down
cthulu is love
cthulu is life
Here you go, chief
Dirtyfox still hasn't posted any more of that coyote vag. QQ
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in furry faggotry, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret yiffings with a nugget, and I have over 300 confirmed spergs. I am trained in dragond dildo warfare and I’m the top shitposter in the entire furry fandom. Your ass is nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe your cosmoline the fuck out of your nugget with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my yiffing words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, muggle. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of fags across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare your anus for the yiffing, starfox. My knot will be the storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your ass. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can yiff you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare dick. Not only am I extensively trained in the kama sutra, but I have access to all of the dragon lube the furry fandom has, and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon your ass, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now your ass will paying the price, you goddamn muggle. I will shit furry all over you and you will drown in it. Your ass is fucking knotted, kiddo.
>My knot will be the storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your ass
Looks like a steadicam mount. it's used so walking and such keeps the camera perfectly smooth and level. Given its purpose and design, it might be better for walking fire than just a gun rest.
Gotta say, while CoD is fucking terrible, it is also one of our greatest allies in gaining more second amendment supporters. I fucking hate it when kids come in and ask me "DO YOU HAVE DA GUN FROM CAW A DOOTY?" But then i realize that that specific gun has their interest peaked and now is the time to educate them a little bit.
I mean shit, i had this fudd who had never even held an AR much less fire one and sat there for almost and hour and a half talking with this dude about them and the various laws and such. Ended up having him walk out with one. And i wasnt trying to actually sell it to him. Just generally speaking to him about it