HUMANITY FUCK YEAH

>>21765628
We watched through lenses and antennas as they lumbered towards us. They sent no message, they responded to none of our own. Inexorably they drew closer. Still, we did not panic. We comforted ourselves, “beings which could make such ships must have evolved past the terrible scourge of war, as we did one hundred years ago.”

>>21765643
We said this and other lies to ourselves as their dozen or so ships entered our atmosphere. We comforted one another even as our governments restocked and refurbished our bomb shelters. There was a sublte air of controlled panic as they situated themselves into geosynchronous orbit over our largest cities. It was the smell of ozone before the storm broke.

>>21765654
They fell from the sky from those great ships. They fell screaming with metal tongues (in our own languages!) sheathed in hellfire. hundreds of them fell from each ship, with the clockwork precision of silicon life. They landed among orbital artillery strikes on our population centers. Their hydraulic muscles and titanium bones absorbed the titanic shock of their fall.

>>21765666
We called them many things: Devils, Titans, Bastards, Aliens, Uglies, Metal Monkeys. they had four limbs like us yes, but that’s where the similarity ended. Their heads were sunken behind armor and weapons and had no symmetry - they were masses of sensors. We learned to shoot at these first when we learned to shoot. Their chests and arms were massive and apparently impervious to anything except anti-tank rifles. They had no hands that we could determine - only an attachment point for hooks, guns, blades, spears, or the maw of a flamethrower. Each one of the monsters from the sky dropped onto us had a unique assortment of killing tools bolted onto their limbs. Many had unique paint. None ever tried to hide from us. Why would they? Our arms were all but useless against them and even in the rare cases that they were breached they simply leap into the air and flew from the ambushes we laid with jet exhaust venting from their shoulders and feet.

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>>21765682
Our militaries were more prepared than we could have hoped. We found that much of our military hardware was hidden after universal peace, not destroyed as we had been told. Distrustful generals who had spent their youth fighting rebels and extremists in sandstorms had convinced politicians to stash military hardware in secluded caves deep beneath the earth. From these bunkers they coordinated the most advanced weapons of our species against the alien menace. Every man and boy (at first) was given a rifle and enough ammo. Later they were given heavier rifles and bigger bullets, and then every woman was given a rifle too. The bombers and helicopters were smashed first, but the jets proved more than capable of exterminating the metal aliens as long as they remained moving too fast for return fire. That is not to suggest that a jetfighter was invulnerable. Although it appeared the same tricks we used to defeat our old national enemies’ radar confused their sensors, it did nothing to protect the majority of the world’s aircraft which were much less advanced and much, much slower. The aliens also seemed to take a particular delight in leaping on the back of a jetfighter in subsonic flight and ripping the pilot out.

>>21765699
We caused few casualties among their ranks, but each one we killed was collected and examined as completely as we could. All the scientists findings were classified. We assumed this was simply because they had not found anything and they did not want to upset the public by this admission. Truthfully, the force required to destroy one of the aliens was usually such that not much remained to be collected. A persistent rumor circulated among the battle damage assessment teams that some parts could be found covered in blood.

>>21765715
Our numbers dwindled slowly, but consistently. They continued to hunt us, but now it seemed they were also invested in harvesting our natural resources. We became more adept at avoiding them. We hid in our subterranean bunkers deep beneath the ruins of our great cities. an anger grew within myself and my comrades. We cursed the politicians who had convinced us to accept disarmament. We cursed our scientists who could not replicate our technology. The same feeling was mirrored by our Generals. They sent us to the surface with nebulous orders to scavenge scientific and manufacturing equipment. We recovered everything they asked for. We even began to go out of our way to kill the aliens when we could, so we could recover their corpses.

>>21765725
In 2077, 10 years after the invasion began, we finally fielded the first armored infantry. They moved a little slowly, but they were covered in steel plate and bourne up by hydraulics. They could carry arms large enough to hurt the aliens. At first we used them only to assault key objectives. Soon however, our Armored Legions were striking the enemy’s industry. They never surrendered to us, but we would never have suffered an alien to live anyway.

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>>21765737
In 2078, they renewed their hunt for our kind. They found 16 of our hive cities. Unlike before, they did not lead us to the slaughter. Every man, woman, and child in each of those 16 cities died screaming defiance to the face of the monster who had stolen our world. Every soldier to the last died with alien blood and oil on his hands. For each of us they could exterminate in our tunnels, we were able to destroy one of their own monstrosities. The aliens began to fear. We could see it in their eyeless faces and their mechanical dead movements. Now they only attacked when they outnumbered us three to one.

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>>21765758
In 2079 we sent our first attack to their ships. We launched 2 high yield nuclear warheads into the belly of the ship over the ruins of New York. Our troops rode as the payloads of 60 rockets launched simultaneously into the breach. They encountered heavy resistance, but they fought their way to the bridge and scuttled the ship into the Atlantic. The last transmission was Commander Mattis shouting on all frequencies - human and alien - “No one’s gonna take us alive!”

>>21765628
>>21765643
>>21765654
>>21765666
>>21765682
>>21765699
>>21765715
>>21765715
>>21765725
>>21765737
>>21765758
This could have been MUCH MUCH shorter

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>>21765780
By 2080 we had reverse engineered most of their technology. We replaced gunpowder with railguns and began integrating more and more technology into our suits. Many warriors joined together as Brothers of Vigilance and Brothers of Steel, and refused to remove their armor until the enemy was driven from our planet. The aliens began to avoid us as we began striking more and more boldly. Their ships remained in orbit, but we did not bother ourselves over this. By now we prefered an enemy who would die valiantly to one that would run. If anyone marveled at the technology we had harnessed in a short decade, they made sure to curse the weaklings of the past with the same breath.

>>21765794
In 2082 another two ships were downed. However this time they fell overland and we were able to gather the scraps and give them to our masters of technology. We began building our own ships. The aliens moved their ships together so they could mutually support one another over the ocean. We moved back onto the surface. Commander Maxson of the 101st Armored Legion is the first to be ceremonially welded into his armor as the Pontifex Maximus of the Brotherhood. Our scientists estimated the alien’s remaining strength at no more than 100 million. We estimated that there were perhaps 2 billion humans left alive. The Legion’s Praefects all convened at the annual summit, held overground for the first time since the fall of the Old World.

>>21765823
The Masters of Technology made a case for stasis. they argued that if we focused on production and growth we would be able to reclaim our world without challenge in the span of a decade at most. They argued that the fallow fields of our destoryed earth could easily support our population growing at maximum rate. When the new children of the surface came of age to be blooded, they could be armored in the finest alloys Under Detroit could smelt and given the best optics Columbia Metro could produce.

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>>21765845
The Brotherhood of Steel argued that if we pressed our advantage we could destroy the aliens before they had the opportunity to regroup. The Brotherhood cautioned that if we waited to gather our strength we would also give the enemy time to gather theirs, or concoct weapons of last resort. The Praefects voted and selected our fate. They selected the Fate that has lead us to the first steps we take today of Our Great Journey.

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>>21765859
Oh My Friends, Oh my glorious comrades, surely I will not bore you with another account of our triumphant attack. I will leave it to the Brotherhood’s Priests to explain to you how our sacred human spirit gave us the power to prevail at the dawn of Our Brave New World. I recount this history to you for one purpose tonight, the eve of our ascension. I know many of you were with me that long night before the Launch. I know many of you still had your mother’s milk on your chins. I ask you to remember the doubt you felt. Yes, we feel doubt in our souls, even beneath the steel skin which is our strength. We felt doubt that night before our victory. We felt the doubt in the Sacred Spirit in all of us -all beings with red blood and human hearts. We felt the doubt in Our Artificers who protect us and build our hands and eyes, and in Our Commanders who lead us through the valley of death, and in Our Praefects who find the destiny of Humanity.

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>>21765874
I know many of you still feel that doubt. You may fear, as they did before the Fall of the Old World that our Praefects are short sighted as the weak old politicians were. You may well ask yourself, “Are we justified?” You may doubt the skill of the Artificers who built our ships. You may well ask yourself, “Can men really understand how to manipulate the warp and the weave of space?” You may even doubt your commander and wonder if any leader of the human race can steer you through this with honor and life preserved.

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>>21765892
This is why I have recounted to you the story of our destruction and our rebirth. I ask you to remember your history when you remember your doubts. Remember that our Praefects have been born of ashes and tempered in the fires - just as you have. They are not the weak and indecisive leaders of the Old World anymore than you are the gormless and fleshly citizens of that accursed time. I ask you to remember that our assault on the enemy’s ships was considered impossible before our cunning Artificers and Masters of Technology showed us the way. Lastly I ask you to trust in you Commanders. Remember when they guided you through Hell in the skies so that we might reclaim the world which is our birthright. They are one and all, the bravest and best sons and daughters of Terra. They will rally your Sacred Spirit when it flags, and they will direct your malice, hate, and power where it best belongs.

Rest well tonight, my friends, my comrades, my Legionaries. Tomorrow we will strike at our truest enemy. We will use our mighty ships to traverse time itself and destroy the world that made us weak. We will bring the Old World ruin and build a monument to our Power so great that the Invaders will never overcome us. Tomorrow, we will make the human race invincible.

>>21765909
>LOL TIEM PADAROX SO ORIGINAL xDDDDD

No. Learn to write something that's not been done to death.

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>>21765909
Wait. Is this story a cyclical thing?

"Aliens" were actually future-humanity in their monstrous power suits.

Interesting.

I suggest you combine posts in the future - this could have been done in 3 or 4 long posts instead of spread out over ~20. Post timer is a bitch.

Christ these HFY threads are such embarrassing mary-sueisms.

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>>21766202
exactly. It was supposed to be a twist about man's imhumanity to man or some other art-major bullshit.

>>21766192
make something better. without creation you're criticism bears no weight.

>>21766202
>Interesting.

There's no excuse for saying that unless you've been living in a vacuum for the past fifty years and missed every sci-fi story written, filmed and recorded during that time.

Man I love hfy but for some reason the long winded ones fall flat often.

Look, I ain't the most educated fucker around. I dropped out of school to work the farm, and that's what I been doin' for a hot minute. I may not have book smarts, but I got what they call street smarts. I'm a common guy with common sense. Now I can't explain what happened to me out on the river, but I can damn sure tell it how it is.

I was in my boat doin' a little fishin' on the river like you do. I had me a case, my radio, my tackle. The day was sunny but a breeze was blowin' and I'd already had a few so I was feelin' pretty good. Now the river runs through my land, but then it goes off a ways out into some real backcountry. I reckon it's owned by the state or somethin'. Anyway, I wasn't really payin' no mind to the fish or the river, so I was driftin' pretty well down. I ain't noticed it and wouldn't have no how until my radio started flickerin' out. That was a new damn radio and I was pretty pissed so I picked it up to see what was goin' on. That's when I noticed how far out I was.

That's also when I noticed the shapes in the sky. It weren't no normal aircraft. It was shaped all funny like, like weird triangles and lines just sort of floatin' in the sky. It was small and I couldn't make out no details, but I saw it floatin' up there sure enough.

Then everything went bright white.

>>21766237
>without creation you're criticism bears no weight

Complete bullshit. You don't have to be a good cook yourself to be able to tell if someone else's cooking is shit.
That's a fallacy autistic 12y/o faggots use when someone tells them their W40k/Harry Potter crossover fanfic sucks.

>you're

>>21766291
When I woke up, I felt like my head had been run through a combine. I looked around and had no clue where I was. It was a dim room, and I was layin' on some sort of metal table. There were weird machines all over the walls, some with blinkin' lights and others with what looked like drills and little miniature shovels and God knows what else. There weren't no windows, but there was a door and that's right where I was fixin' to go. As I sat up, my head exploded with light, but I bit down jumped off the table. Once the room stopped spinnin' quite so much, I realized I was stark fuckin' naked. Whoever had took me was one sick son of a bitch. I looked around for my clothes but they weren't there. Where I'd been layin' on that metal table there was a sheet or towel of some sort, so I took that and wrapped it around me.

The door slid open when I pushed a button beside it. I was in a weird sort of hallway, a little brighter than the room but not by much. Both ways looked the same, reachin' a corner a few yards down either direction, with doors on each side. I started headin' to the right, but then I heard someone comin'. I wasn't tryin' to get put back in that room no how, so I high tailed it the other direction.

Around the corner was more hallway. I knew I wasn't gettin' out runnin' in circles, and I didn't know if whoever that was was headin' this way, so I hit the button by one of the doors and ducked in.

>>21766308
This room looked like some sort of office. There was a couple chairs, and then a desk in the middle of the room with another chair behind it. There were a few weird machines on the desk, and some other knick-knacks and desk shit. I walked around to the other side to see if I could figure out from this stuff where I was. The papers were no help. They was written in some weird writin'. At least I think it was writin', I ain't never seen nothin' like it 'fore or since. The machine had some buttons on it but I didn't press 'em 'cause I didn't know what they did. But one thing on the desk about liked to kill me. It was a picture of what I figure was some kind of family, but they weren't like us. They were completely hairless except for the top of their heads, which had long hair. Their eyes were spooky, lookin' right at me so I nearly dropped the picture.

But their mouths. Their mouths were the worst. All three of 'em in that picture had their mouths open all twisted like, just enough so you could see what was inside.

Bones. They had honest-to-god bones in their mouth. Like they was skeletons in some sort of suits.

That's when it all went bright again. I woke up on my boat, and came straight down here.

Aliens is real. I seen 'em.

>>21766320
Personal Journal, Dr. Tyrone Tsuzhen-Goldbergstein
23 May, 2977
Well today was quite a day. For what I think may be the first time in the 60 years of this program, one of our test subjects woke up during implantation. We drugged him up, but if he woke up in the first place there's no telling what he'll remember. Not that it matters. Even if he brought down evidence to the others, no one would understand it.

We finally find intelligent alien life, and they're fucking retards.

God I can't wait till I get back to Earth. I mean honestly, what more is probing going to tell us about these stupid fucks?

>end

>>21766237
>you are only allowed to criticize if you have written stories yourself
I guess you aren't allowed to say that hipoint pistols are bad because you haven't made anything better from scratch.

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my favorite

>>21766237
Wow you're retarded.

>>21766202

That's not a "Humanity, Fuck Yeah!" story. That's a "humans are terrible" story.

I liked it, OP, but then I like most HFY stuff.

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>>21766245
Simply because something's predictable or been done a million times doesn't preclude it from being enjoyable.

Christ.

People are too jaded now.

>>21766358
had it tagged with "hfy" and didn't look

>>21766349
I really should have used blue instead of purple on that but paint fucking screws with save quality.

>>21766349
not gonna read that shit because i don't want eye cancer

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>>21766332
Another one by me. Not gonna make 17 fucking posts for it tho.

>>21766358

That's a "nonsense" story because the temporal paradox prevents the events from ever taking place. Even if everything would seemingly fall in place in line with the self-consistency principle, the invaders in the original timeline would have to come from somewhere, and you can't just take them out of the equation with a "thanks, bye" once the self-fulfilling prophecy has come full circle. Causality doesn't work like that.

>>21766370
>Simply because something's predictable or been done a million times doesn't preclude it from being enjoyable.

It does. That's a simple fact of how stories work. If it weren't true, people would have no incentive to strive for originality or innovativeness.

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one of my favorites

>>21766192
>>21766245
name ten stories like this using the same twist

>>21766372
if you have the original text the save the file as a PNG. Or put it on pastebin and let somebody else make it

>>21766224
I liked it, thanks HFYfag

>>21766543

Knock yourself out, shitlord.

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/StableTimeLoop

>>21766202
>"Aliens" were actually future-humanity in their monstrous power suits.
I think so. When I started reading, I was hoping it was Humans in power suits invading a different world. I want to read one where we're the evil invading aliens (I've seen the copypastas of the one where we're basically located in the galaxy's Bermuda triangle, but I crave OC)..

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>>21766349

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>>21766619

>>21766610
>none of them have the same twist
So you're point is your a retard?

>>21766307
What the Captain means is you are just a faggot who contributes nothing of value to the board and we would all really like it if you fucked right off.

>>21766543
>spoiler alert
looper
twelve monkies
butterfly effect
terminator series
back to the future series flirts with it
donnie darko
star trek: first contact
peggy sue got married
somewhere in time

yeah ok you got me. even these are mostly a stretch.

>>21766332
>Tyrone Tsuzhen-Goldbergstein

>>21766651

Are you genuinely demented? Every single one has the same twist.
The protagonists go back in time and created / helped create the circumstances that made them travel back in the first place.

>your a retard

Ironing.jpg

Go back to fapping to untalented hacks who regurgitate ancient concepts.

>>21766688
The Jews' conspiracy turns out to be their undoing.

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>>21766517
Everything new is built on the foundations laid by the old.

History nigger, have you read it?

>>21765628
There seems to be a lot of unnecessary weight on that rifle.

>>21766654
>contributing nothing to the board
Yeah, because HFY threads are weapons related and not just masturbatory bullshit both written and read by teenage faggots.
>>>/ic/
>>>/x/
>>>/m/

>>21766517
>nonsense
the cycle has been repeated many hundreds of times. Each time the post-invasion society discovers how to travel back they travel to prevent the invasion and become the invaders. The first cycle may have begun 100,000 years in the future. Each cycle the invaders arrive earlier and the natives fight back and reverse engineer their technology and jump back to BEFORE the invaders showed up.

>>21766746

That's just postponing the inevitable collapse of that logic.

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I was watching x-men, peeked a bit at the new transformers movie and definitely got reminded of Humanity Fuck Yeah.

X Men:
>Mutants are percieved as a global threat
>Humans build robots that adapt to mutants, wiping out nearly all of them in just a few years
>Entire movie is mutants trying to save themselves

Transformers:
>Humans obtain rare earth metals that the autobots and decepticons are made out of
>Start researching that shit, human-designed and weaponized bots are created
>Autobots are now obselete

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>>21766773
>ungabunga?
>sky people?
>what roc/k/ is gud?

Pretty much. But it's fiction so I can play fast and loose with laws of the universe if it makes something interesting.

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Why are there no HFY stories about man giving the D?

>inb4 le heresy xD

>>21765628
Please. We can't even rally troops to defeat our current real life overlords.

>>21766821
There are tons.

>>21766867
They never seem to get posted.

>>21766850
>bcoz u r all of u.............
>.......... fallin starz
That was the gayest thing I've ever read and I once read OP's memoirs.

>>21766874
/x/ has much more lively hfy threads that usually go that way after a while.

>>21766894
/x/? Are you serious? /x/ is the shittiest board on the site.

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>>21766821
>>21766867
>>21766874
>>21766894

ask and ye shall receive

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Thanks to everyone who gave feedback. I enjoy writing this shit and I'll be glad to dump my folder if anyone is reading.

I'm confused.

How is this about weapons?

>le ebic bhoard chulchurrr xDDDD

>>21766902
And he's asking for the shittiest version of the shittiest type of post on this site. Your point?

>>21767195
Lemme guess, you're >>21767142 and you're just lashing your assburgers out at random posts.

>>21767142
Look over there mates! That there is a wild autist. Look at his eyes everyone, those are the eyes of confusion. He can't understand why other people are having fun. He has a instinctual need to categorize everything precisely. Fascinating creatures.

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>>21766965
I also wrote this one ages ago

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>>21766821
>>21766937
moar

OC incoming. I just whipped it up so I don't know if it's any good.

"Our people once called them steel demons, the aliens that invaded our world nearly 30 cycles ago. I remember that day well, when the sky opened and fire rained down from the heavens. I was but a young boy at the time.

They struck without provocation. We were a peaceful people, technologically primitive by comparison to the invaders. Our species was nothing more than children really, we had first managed to split the atom less than a century ago, had no interstellar colonies, we were of no threat to any other race.

They came anyway. Without warning or hesitation they burned out cities, took our women as slaves, butchered men and boys. We tried surrendering to them, but to no avail. The only response received was more death and destruction. Sure, resistance was offered, but was swept aside with ease.

There was a reason we called them steel demons. When they came, nobody was allowed to see the invaders faces and live. Clad in towering sheets of gleaming metal they came, wielding weapons of unimaginable power. Cities were turned to dust, their rifles tore through the best armor we had with ease. It was a slaughter.

When they first came, we didn't stand a chance, but that was many years ago. Since then, we've learned how to fight them. Yes, we've lost billions of our peoples lives in the fight, but what choice do we have other than to keep fighting? Through espionage we've stolen their secrets, and technology. Our underground foundries are now producing effective weapons with which we can combat the aliens. From hidden bases, we strike their capital ships orbiting our planet, with fighters, missiles, whatever we can. Through sedition, we have weakened their resolve. What they thought would be an easy victory has turned in to a maelstrom of death. We have answered the invaders with fire and blood! You will never defeat us!

Humanity, from this day forward, you shall taste nothing but bitter defeat."

>>21766517
>That's a "nonsense" story because the temporal paradox prevents the events from ever taking place.
Idiot...do you have any idea how many times Doctor Who has bumped into himself?

>>>/tg/

>>21766744
Hey, I hear ya, I hear ya...no fun allowed on /k/ now...I know bro...

>>21766965
Dump away bro...I like your stuff. Thanks for teh oc and fuck that 12 Y/o. whats he know besides how to de grease a nugget.

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I've always been a fan of the idea that the galactic norm for development of life is comparatively low gravity worlds with thinner atmospheres. Space elevators are easy for them because there isn't nearly so much force involved, and from there they move on to fucking around in space. We only really got off our large and high gravity planet because we had an easy target in the huge moon.

Thus, while human weaponry is utterly brutal, a human on his own is insanely strong, durable, and dangerous in his own right. Our ships are incredibly heavy and over engineered because they need thick armor (which coincidentally makes them harder to destroy) to protect us from cosmic radiation, and to withstand reentry into such a dense atmosphere. Our engines, by the same token, are overpowered because they have to drive us out of our deep gravity well, and are able to be so because of the relatively high Gs we can withstand.

This isn't without it's drawbacks, of course - we waste away in zero G and need O2 masks to survive on most civilized planets, along with thick walls to keep the radiation out. Because our shit has to be so big and heavy, it's much more expensive - and we also have to implement artificial gravity to a greater degree than everyone else.

But at the same time, each human is anywhere from Gorilla to Hulk strong compared to his extra-terrestrial equivalent.

I'm sure at least a few of us would find work as space cossacks.

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>>21767927

*its drawbacks

Oops

>>21767243
No I've actually contributed two of my own mediocre stories to this thread. I suggested /x/ and someone bitched about it, but frankly these stories aren't that great, the sex ones are especially ridiculous, and the quality of /x/ is immaterial when the fact remains that they often post what that guy was asking for.

>>21767332
is this your HFYfag?

>>21767689

And that makes them both less bullshit... how?

>>21767487
"Alright, listen up class! This is Studies on Humanity. I am your professor, Dr. Dro Rath'Tik.

We'll be studying the Human race in this course, their history and so on, from their birth on their homeworld Earth, to their rise to the top of the Galactic Council.

To begin and give you a taste of what humans are like here is a brief overview of their anatomy and an excerpt from their history that makes them quite impressive.

Human on average are 6 feet tall, about 3 and a half traliks in our measurment, and weigh around 180-200 pounds, or about 70 dolriks. They have two sexes in their species, male and female. They have some 'hair' on their heads and near their reproductive organs .Seeing as they aren't that big or massive, they are considered weak physically when compared to other races and species in the galaxy. They have average intelligence compared to other species and are omnivorous in nature.

However, they make up for this in their tenacity , curiosity, violence, and something they refer to as 'will to survive'.

And they have done just that my students. They are very tenacious indeed and not to be underestimated in anything. The former leaders of the Galactic Council made that mistake a century ago

>>21768134
Dude...don't be talking shit about the doctor...he has been doing his thing longer than you have been alive.

>>21768256
So, about a Century ago, the Del'Rathah, the tyrannical leaders of the council found a new system which contained the Human's homeworld Earth.

The Del'Rathah and many other on the council considered Earth a backwater planet and labeled the humans as 'barely sentient' and ordered them to be eradicated in order for the system to be colonized.

The Humans had lacked technology at the time and when the Del'Rathah invaded, it showed, the Humans threw nearly everything they had at the Del'Rathah and lost many of their forces while barely casing the Del'Rathah many losses.

The Del'Rathah were physically and technologically superior. But the tenacious Humans learned this quick. They then probed the Del'Rathah forces for weaknesses by skirmishing. They learned that the invaders had one weakness, they were used to fighting in open battles where they could see their enemy, which is how you know, almost all species in the galaxy fight, by organizing on open fields of battle and charging one another.

So the Humans turned to what they call 'guerrilla warfare' where they hit their enemies hard and fast and leave without a trace, or bait them into ambushes and annihilate their foes, or by systematically taking down commanding officers.

You see class, Humans will do anything to win, and that's just what they did, they caused they Del'Rathah such high casualties that they were forced to leave the planet quickly, leaving their technology behind for the Humans.

The Humans then used this technology and became capable of interstellar flight, flew to the Del'Rathah homeworld and eliminated them and took their seat on the council. Since then, no one has dared cross them, but rather freely trade and get into their good graces in hopes that none will face the same end as the Del'Rathah.

The Humans don't forget when you've wronged them, and if given then chance...they'll pay the debt back 100 times over."

>>21768484
>Del'Rathah
Those bastards

>>21766349
>>21766409
>>21766481
>>21766534
>>21766619
>>21766642
Any more cool copypastas like these?

>>21767944
I want a HFY with elves.

Fuck elves and their magic.

>>21770440
I will make one tonight

File: 4203414+_200d8b950472787016dcb6744ae9051d.gif (14KB, 159x111px)

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>>21770520

I love these threads.

>>21770520
Nigger, imma hold you to that shit.

>>21767927
i like this idea
some /sci/fag did a writeup on the whole thing about our spaceships needing something along the lines of 90ish percent of their weight to be in fuel to be able to reach escape velocity thus making earth a heavy grav world

>>21767927
lol at these little bug niggas getting killed by berries and a light breeze

Forreals tho, the gravity idea is a really good one (the rest of that shit was nonsense with the water and oxygen). Even someone who grew up on mars or the moon would be weaker than a vegan lanklet doing yoga. I love the idea that humans are basically the dwarves of space, and everyone else is just a wispy faggot. The dwarf analogy makes sense too, because if we actually went to space we would
>look for gold and gems
>fight things
>fuck things
>curse and use foul language
>drink heavily and try all new drugs
>make weird shit and use firearms despite no one else in the world having them
>make fun of other races constantly
>hold grudges
>squabble among ourselves
>have beards
>have tattoos
>write in strange runes no one could understand
I just got a boner.

You could easily just throw together some generic wispy lanklets to be elves, a sort of humanoid race from a planet with like .5 Gs who could be the humans of the setting, and then someone even shorter than us but not strong at all to be the hobbits. This would actually be cool as fuck in a mad autistic way.

>>21773312
Oh I just thought too, dwarves never cross breed with the other races. You have half elves and maybe half halflings, so maybe the "humans" and elves come from the same planet or something and can interbreed.

I think it would be cool (just generally, not in this setting) to have a complex multiplication system for halfling breeding.

>halfling x human
halfling

>halfling x halfling
quarterling

>quarterling x human
quarterling

>quarterling x halfling
eighthling

>quarterling x quarterling
sixteenthling

>eighthling x human
eighthling

>eighthling x halfling
sixteenthling

>eighthling x eighthling
sixty-fourthling

And so on. Some of those niggas would be tiny as fuck.

http://imgur.com/a/6h09A

For many aeons, we turned and moved peacefully. We shot through the infinite void, twirling gracefully with each other in the waltz of the universe. We each of us were independent, but always we felt the faint pull of each other from across the emptiness of space. This was right. This was our comfort. Though we were spread out as far as the very ends of existence and pushing ever further, we knew each other. And we loved each other. We operated within the bounds of a perfect system, according to rules that were set even before the beginning.

Those closest to me were also dearest to me, somehow. Barnard and Wolf, Lalande. Luhman, bless him. Sirius. We danced in the faint pull we felt from each other for ages and ages. But the one closest to me was always the dearest. I considered him my own dance partner. We were independent of course. We moved along our own paths according to the rules that had always been in place. But I loved him most.

I didn't notice the sickness until it was too late. He seemed fine. His pull never changed. His light kept shining. But then in an instant the sickness had spread. It was a cancer, really, or perhaps a virus. I never imagined anything like that could even exist, yet there it was.

It didn't follow the rules. It didn't dance as we danced. No, it was too quick, too ephemeral. It broke the rules, and traveled across the paths we followed as if they were nothing. It did not give any pull of its own that I ever felt, and it did not respond to our pull. It mocked our pull, pushing against and across it like it was nothing.

The sickness spread to me first. In no time at all from the first time I noticed it it was inside me, moving as it wished, dancing to unnatural music in strange time that I never heard. It filled me and moved me, changing me. It spread to the others even as it grew in me, and there was nothing that any of us could do.

>1/2

>>21775064
I mourned the other dancers. I mourned myself. But most of all, I mourned Sol. It was in him that the sickness had grown, and was he alone who would always know the worst of what it meant to be a host to Life.

>>21772537
Give me a break I'm still at work.

>>21775064
>>21775077
>humans eventually start exploring space
>star systems find it mildly annoying
>fuck yeah!
Kill you'reself.

File: veil of madness 2.jpg (798KB, 1222x2535px)

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>>21775020

File: 1384403658377.png (109KB, 1140x1500px)

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>>21775381

>>21765628
Bump for more futuristc stories of Space /k/ommandos

>>21770652
Just so you know I did not forget I'm just working late and using phone when I sit down. Gonna post when done.

>>21778092
Take your time.

Oh if my english was good enough to post these short stories.... ;_;

I'm just gonna leave this here
http://imgur.com/a/6h09A

anyone got caps of Irving the Operator stories?

>>21773355
a Small properly proportioned women.
Imagine and adult with the physique of a child.
/a/ would go apeshit over such a being.
If not for 3DPD

File: yoba is mad.png (58KB, 176x200px)

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>>21780984
>HFY
Histories from YOBA?

>>21766731
Murdercube in SPAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!

The human with the leather face handed me a stick. This stick, I found, was a machine. I glanced across the steel that peeked from within the thick bar of wood and tried to focus on the words the humans had cut into the side of it. Hearing their language worked well enough for me, but reading it was always troublesome.

"It's a stick?" I said, my voice struggling against my confusion.

"Nah, 'tain't a stick, Asherbanapal." Replied the leather-faced human. As his cohorts giggled at me, I threw him an inquisitive glare.

"It's a weapon."

"Where is the focusing lense?" I asked with renewed curiosity, now turning this human stick-weapon in my hands.

"Ain't got one." Replied its caretaker, a look of amusement crossing his face. Now I was really curious. Not wanting the thing to discharge all over me, I sat it upon the workbench and took a step back to prod at the steel sphere dangling from one side of it.

"This here..." Started the human they called 'Gunny Raimy', who I always thought should've been called 'Tha'ere' for his odd desire to begin every exposition with 'This here' and 'That there'. He paced around me as he told me about the stick-weapon and why I should feel safe to have it.

"This here is an Ishapore 2A1, based on the Small Magazine Lee-Enfield and manufactured with a chambering of seven-point-six-two-by-fifteh-one. That's real fuckin' NATO, son. You flip up that bolt, whip the som'bitch back and she'll scoop up a round on her way back in-- ram it in that chamber real nice and tight..."

1/2

>>21783357

Gunny Raimy took the thing into his hands and demonstrated this for me. His worn hands gave the steel ball a push and it swung up. Next, the tube it was mounted on seemed to sling back, as if the ancients had commanded it. My people had long not had moving parts on our weapons, truly it was a sight to behold.

"Then y' just squeeze thissere trigger, and out pops a hundert-n-forty-seven grain chunk of lead, movin' at just over twenny-sevenhundert feet per second. It'll cruise right through that fancy reflective armor yer squid pals are wearin'."

Ah, suddenly I understood! Human humor: Practical jokes.

"So..." I said in summary, trying to make what they called a 'smile' play at my lips, "It's a stick?"

2/2

>>21766237
Challenge Accepted. In One week, I will begin sharing a story I have had in my head for quite a while. I will adopt a name and a trip ONLY for the posting of this story and for answering questions that my expertise can be applied to.

Note the trip, and see you in a week.

File: 1390828687187.jpg (100KB, 632x418px)

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I wonder why these shorts in /k/ are always related to galatic wars but never related to guns or vehicles in general.

I never read things like:

>I zeroed the scope of my Zephyr J-54 to compensate for the stronger gravity of Uraus III. Tough rifles from today are infinite more accurate and sophisticated than those used in the wars in the early XX century ( when the art of hunting started, at the time called "sniping"), there are things that we still cant rely on computer, like to compensate for wind since the pressure varies wildly from planet to planet. Is funny tought, 400 have passed since the first so called "snipers" and we still use solid projectiles in our guns, even if they are now propeled by a line of magnetic rings instead of black powder.

I sometimes have a fantasy where I am operating behind enemy lines in occupied France. After an error leads to a gun battle that I barely survive, I make my way to a small village in the northern region. While I'm there, a petite wheel of Camembert nurses me back to health. As I heal, I realize that I am falling in love with her. It is time for me to go, and my last night there we make love beneath the stars. I head out before dawn. Later that day, however, I receive news that German forces are moving onto the town. My love overcomes my devotion to the mission, and I turn back, travelling as fast as I can to return to my love before it is too late, cursing myself for not staying with her.

I get back to the village around tea time, and see a German officer eating her with Brötchen and a bottle of Riesling. I approach and introduce myself and he offers me some of his food. We enjoy a lovely picnic and I turn into a double agent. The rest of the fantasy involves me fighting vampires in the middle east as one of Der Führer's supernatural commandos but that's kind of off topic for this thread.

>>21783364
>"So..." I said in summary, trying to make what they called a 'smile' play at my lips, "It's a stick?"

A BOOMSTICK

File: HFY.png (122KB, 1280x1397px)

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>>21765628

Any word from The Plastic Age author? I really liked his work.

>>21783364
I don't get it. He still thinks its a stick or he was one cheeky cunt having a laugh?

Let's do some worldbuilding!
Irving Greene of the 75th Ranger Regiment alternated between hunching over and leaning back in what was quite possibly the most boring chair ever designed as he waited for the briefing to start. He looked out over the room; Kaleeshi, most likely from the 22nd Special Activities Squadron, caught his eye first. "Stone cold motherfuckers", Allen had said once, and Irving had to agree. Kaleeshi evolved as birds of prey, and like Terran birds of prey, the single offspring that survived to adulthood had only done so because its siblings had mysteriously suffered falls from the nest at an early age. The next evolutionary attribute was vision, something Kaleeshi had in spades. At range, an unaided Kaleesh could identify and destroy targets with a precision matched in other armies only by a fantastic amount of high grade hardware. Closer in, they were renowned for silence, their feathers muffling and eliminating sound as they suddenly set upon their prey, then disappeared into the night, a natural camouflage and sound absorption system making them all but ghosts.

However, the main problem with being a flighty creature was that aerodynamic flight in anything but relatively thick atmospheres required hollow bones which did not react well to sudden introductions of rifle butts. More importantly, two chambered hearts did not react well to sustained combat operations. While the heart did best faster with exertion, the oxygen in the blood passed through the Kaleeshi brain before it could metabolize effectively, causing near instant unconsciousness and a pounding headache afterwards.
Taken as a whole, Kaleeshi were the perfect sentient analogue to an experimental stealth bomber. Glide in, kick ass, take names, and disappear back to base, because something probably broke. They were probably the airborne part of Plan A for this op.

>>21765737
>2077, 10 years after the invasion began
>>21765643
>evolved past the terrible scourge of war, as we did one hundred years ago
Thank God all war ended in 1967. What a relief!

Translated records of human Interstellar Fleet Marine captured after battle in Orion Nebula after first contact with hostiles:

>Age appears to be only a child, 19 years. Is not even fully developed in mind or body
>Size: minuscule. 6'2". Possibly dwarfed?
>Strength, and endurance compared to body ratio: extreme.
>Subject was acquired outside of it's vessel. No protective garments. Lungs have imploded. Skull is fractured. Bodily fluids lost accumulate to an estimation of nearly half.
>Subject interfered with our boarding party. Placed a type of detonation device upon the bridge of the boarded vessel, explosions caused it to split in half.
>Subject was left on the boarded half.
>It killed 8 warriors with a primitive plasma based weapon. A 9th warrior is severely crippled after losing an eye to it's teeth.
>subject then pushed warrior 9 into an airlock
>our warrior was able to activate his suit in time, and pull the subject with him out of the vessel
>warrior 9 thought subject would simply die if exposed to space
>he lost his other two eyes, and suffered several broken appendages.
>subject managed to use his empty plasma weapon as a club of sorts
>Mission was a failure. Possibility of salvage due to experimentation on new subject.
>warrior 9 and subject both on life support.
>warrior 9 estimation of survival is minimal.
>the subject is now completely stable.
>will keep subject alive as long as needed. It is young. fear may cause termination, as we may not want it to reach adulthood.

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>>21765628

humenitay fuk yeh

>>21786354
>6'2"
>aliens don't use the metric system

>>21786372
>translated

>>21786372
Why would they? And for that matter, why bother typing these in English? Clearly the aliums don't speak it. Might as well not do anything if you don't make it authentic.

>>21786379
>>21786392
I get that, guys. But if humans make it to space the imperial system won't be tagging along. So it was translated into English, and then translated into American. It's ridiculous.

>>21786408
I'm the one who typed the story.
And i'd just like to say, is this your only critique? If so, i'll say I must have done a pretty good job for trying to write a good, and still short OC.

>>21786430
No it's not but this one isn't a big deal and I didn't think it would hurt your feelings.

>>21786439
It didn't hurt my feelings. I'll definitely take that into consideration next time.

>>21786036
He still thinks it's a stick because aliens.

>>21786408
if humans make it to space I hope to god we leave behind the metric system. its all bullshit anyway.

>>21766307
Did someone say wh40k/hp?

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/2554200/1/HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

>>21787473
This is harrysey.

File: harrysey.png (1MB, 1253x849px)

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>>21787684

File: now we're cooking with HERESY.jpg (52KB, 800x400px)

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>>21787473

File: veil of madness 4.png (73KB, 1145x734px)

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>>21775608

File: the human and the wurm.jpg (256KB, 1003x477px)

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A text one that was never made into a screencap, but which I saved in a pastebin. Not necessarily HFY, but semi-related.

http://pastebin.com/ZPc24pfg

>>21787941
That was incredibly boring and pointless.

>>21788475
No, not really. It wasn't horribly derivative like a lot of them are.

>>21788496
Yes it was, really.

File: =P.jpg (529KB, 2891x2196px)

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>>21788524
Nuh uh.

>>21778145
Working it out now. I'm going with elves are super good with magic because they live so.long and everything has a spark of magic in it. Humans don't though and we are basically seen as retarded abominations that the elves try to subjugate. Except we are so magically retarded we said fuck magic we make weapons to pit your fireball to shame.

Also since we don't haveagic and all our weapons are inanimate object the elfagic can't twist tthe magic inside it to do as they want. Basically humans as anti elves. But dam not it keeps getting longer and I can't prune. It may take a whole but when I finish I will post it in a new hfy thread if this one dies.

>>21788639
I hate posting from phone

>>21788639
did you click the wrong board or something?

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ill dump what i got.

i take no blame for qaulity of em.

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As I walk out of the bunker a century posted at the door snaps a chrisp salute. I return the salute and pat him on the shoulder. I was just promoted. Our commander finally died from his wounds in the field hospital. His dying words to me were "Give them hope... and win." And as hopless as this war has been and how unwinable we all know I had an idea. We are surrounded, with a mountain to our backs. Not the best place to choose a battle. The General famously quoted: "We got em' right where we wants em'! They're the only ones who can retreat now!" He was driven by neither pride nor fool hardness, he was guided only by his faith in God and steadfast resolve.

Hard to believe that 2o years ago I was a farmer. My troops have affectionately called me "Old Scratch". I'm missing an eye from shrapnel, my face scarred from countless engagements. But also because the fear I instill in my troops and my enemy most of all. And when they found out I was leading this charge. I heard several intelligence reports from our enemy of transfers request to rear echelon commands for reason's of fear of future failure. I look over my uniform that has been stitched, re-stitch and patched. I look just as ragid as my troops, the only standout feature is the rank on my shoulders. I look at my shoulder boards and see the shiny stars still pinned. I put on my hat and walk to the forward command communication tent...

1/3

>>21787473
that's pretty fucking neato.

File: 1390266954717.jpg (632KB, 1280x1024px)

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>>21790525
. I walk into the communication room and everyone stands. I motion for everyone to return to there post. I walk up to man on our main radio. "Are we broadcasting on all frequencies?" I ask. The soldier nods "Yes General!" As he hands me the microphone. I hold down the button and I hear the hard split second sound of white noise.

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the resistance this your commander speaking." "I have something to share with you all." "And to our enemy because I know they are listening as well and I want them to hear." "I want them to experance fear, panic, and hopelessness." "I want them to cry to their maker for mercy as we crush their very souls beneath our boots!" "Knowing that there prayers have fallen upon deaf ears that the heathen Gods they worship cannot save them from the hell we are sending them too!" "We have been retreating, falling back, and running away since this war started!" "But this day..." "This day we will not turn our tail, as you can see geographically that option is impossible." "Our enemy know this fact as well and see an opportunity to destroy us once and for all." "They just might." "But not before we kill every single damn one of those bastards that we can get our hands on!" "We are going to charge through there mangled corpses, with the Fury of Hell infront of us and the Wrath of God right behind us!!!" "SOLDIERS!!!!" "FIX BAYONETS!!!" I hand the microphone back to the soldier who has a tear running down his cheek. I hand the radio operator an old vinyl record from it's sleeve. I give one last order. "Play the music and bring me my sword." "When the music crescendos unleash hell!" I walk out of the communication room. With fire in my eyes.

2/3

File: charge.png (737KB, 800x644px)

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Over the loud speakers that run throughout our base and into the trenches you can hear the soft music of and orchestra. The strings first, then the wind, then the sound grows louder when the brass joins in. Then the thunderous sound of the drums to top off. By now every man in his trench, in his fighting hole, and behind their weapons hears the roar of the music. Every soldier, every fighter springs to their feet. At first confusion, then a calm, and then I see fire. Fire in their eyes, in their lungs, and in their hearts. Everyone of them felt the intense need to make blood spill. I had unknowing ignited a fire and filled it with resolve. I hear the crescendo build and the music grows louder. As if the mountains behind us were screaming it to us, I could only imagine what terror and fear our enemy were feeling. The music I had chosen I felt best represented humanities triumphs. It was the 1812 Overture. I slowly unsheathed my saber and I hold it up skywards. The crescendo reaches it's peat and I drop my sword giving the signal. Every piece of artillery fires, every soldier charges , every missile screams skyward, and ever bomb drops. I give my last order as I rush forward leaping from the front trench with my sword drawn as fire and brimstone rains down. "CHARGE!!!"

3/3

>>21788388
I like this one personally.

>>21766372
Then learn to not save shit a jpg you retard.

>>21790828
I was just at a concert where they played the 1812 Overture accompanied by cannon fire from a re-enactment group. Shit was cash yo

File: 1384382003695.png (429KB, 1869x2571px)

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>>21767927
>>21773312
This is actually true though. Most of the planets in the universe that we've discovered considered to be "habitable" are actually smaller than Earth. So if there is extra-terrestrial life that fits into our current definitions of life, then we're going to be a fuckton stronger than it.

1/3

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>>21791845
2/3

>>21791845
I sometimes fantasize about being a security guard in this universe, just strolling around the space station with a halberd.

File: 1384382221588.png (229KB, 1577x1541px)

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>>21791932
3/3

>>21791950
I like the concept, pretty much everyone on Earth who isn't obese as hell is a 1 man army, and considering that many soldiers nowadays are pretty jacked, they're 1 man armed divisions.

>>21787473
>groinsaws

>>21791484
That song makes my dick hard.

>>21792019
How does Ronnie Ron taste, master?

File: 1372028528842.png (33KB, 566x557px)

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>>21791845
>mfw Humans are the Krogan of the universe

>>21790990
back when I made it we only could use jpeg and gif and gif cut half off for some reason

>>21792100
Time to reverse enginering mosquitoes DNA to transmit a virus that make ppl sterile.

>>21792153
>mosquitoes
>reliable vector for diseases
The moment someone catches onto it, mosquitoes will be extinct.
We did it with the screwflies and we can easily do it to mosquitoes as well.

>>21792186
It was just a joke bro.
I cant even infect Madagascar on Pandemic 2.

Those dense motherfuckers ;_;

>>21791932
>dogs can run further
The author can't into human abilities I guess. Whatever, this is one of the few good ones so far.

>>21787473
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8731231/1/The-Soul-of-A-Wizard

>>21792320
Oh wow I spoke just a sentence or two too soon. This nigger just tipped his fedora AS HARD AS HE FUCKING COULD.

>>21792347
Yeah. He should have stopped it after the first one. I don't come to HFY threads to get into religious debates.

>>21792365
Oh wow. Now he's getting into the men's rights shit. How did this fucker escape reddit?

>>21792347
On this spacestation, I am euphoric...
first half is great though

>>21792321
FUCK!
That hurt to read.

>>21792347
You do understand the concept of 'fiction', right? As in, entertain the idea without accepting it in your life?

>>21792431
I get fiction, but this guy is just jerking off to his own euphoria at this point. I'm not done yet, but so far he's got the space niggers playing Dungeons and Dragons so I'm holding out hope. Like I said, up until about the halfway mark I thought this was the best of these stories I'd read so far. Chapter 2's fedora tipping doesn't undo chapter 1 for me.

>>21792463
>so I'm holding out hope
Not. I'm not holding out hope.

>>21792463
I think you're unnecessarily harsh on the author. Yes, he's a bit heavy handed on the religion bashing, but nowhere near the usual ff.net autism levels.

>>21792514
>ff.net autism levels
I don't read that kind of stuff so maybe I'm not immune to even touches of it.

>>21792347
Guy who posted it here, yeah he did. I only posted the others because I hate leaving something incomplete. Like, I'm an atheist myself but how fedora can you get

>>21788419
not bad. It's a ripoff of mass effect, but mass effect is good so that's a good thing.

>>21792565
The second 2 posts of that story are so awful, I just omit them when I do HFY dumps. That writing just gets so ham fisted, UUUGH.

>>21792565
>>21792603
It's a shame too, because at first it's like "yes, this the pinnacle of the genre" and so you're all excited to read the next two.

>>21792695
Pinnacle of the genre has been written more than a hundred years ago. It's called Under The Moons of Mars.

File: first contact bullshit.png (252KB, 901x1983px)

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this was a pretty good one

File: Cooky.png (114KB, 1654x948px)

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>>21792967

File: HumanityFuckYeah 1.png (139KB, 1325x1028px)

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>>21792967
kek

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This shit needs more inspiring images and less text.

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>>21793437
Alright.
This series is pretty HFY.

>>21792967
>Fuck-me, I do not have the time, patience or training for this first contact bullshit
YES

>>21788466

>http://pastebin.com/ZPc24pfg

Dem feels

>>21793461

What is it?

>>21794132
Yamato 2199

>>21792727
Edgar Rice Burroughs is hilarious, but it's by no means good. As in the writing, it's just plain bad.

>>21785891
>Try googling for something like "/k/ plastic war" and an interesting piece of fiction by a /k/ommando should come up. I think the main reason that stuff doesn't come up much though is because there's probably a hundred different actual novels that touch on that issue

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/tg/ had a few new ones last time

File: 1403717325514.png (78KB, 937x315px)

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also here is an old one

>>21795128
why...the...ever..loving..FUCK...is that a .gif?

no seriously, i want to read it, but it's a fucking GIF....

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>>21795153

There was a glitch some time ago where you could only post gifs.

In case you still don't trust it, I converted it into a png

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>>21788639
Yes.

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>>21795153
What are you scared of, little bitch?

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this is a pretty good one

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You attacked first, wiped us out. System by system you purged us from the universe in the name of your prophets, our blood the seed with which you would feed your empire.

Your great journey was within reach. But you made the greatest mistake you could have made. -

You bled. - One shimmering blue glimmer on that pristine, unbreakable armour of yours was enough to ignite the flame that had dragged our race fighting from our caves and into the heavens!

We wiped your prophets from existence, boarded and destroyed your greatest works and entered the hallowed graves of the gods themselves to destroy you and all you had worked for.

We remembered every last world you burned and returned it in kind on the salted fields of our destroyed birthright.

We drove you back and ended your empire, we destroyed your holy seat and annihilated your faith.

Never bleed in front of a human, it is liable to be the last thing you do.

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>>21797052

>>21797114
Stop with this Halo thing for the love of god.
Is not even a cool franchise.

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>>21797052
To be fair, if there was no great schism and rebel elites to help, humanity probably would have lost.

>>21791845
I fucking love this story.

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What are some good HFY movies?
Edge of Tomorrow gave me a really good HFY vibe.

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>>21797478
>join the UDF
>tfw I read "join the IDF"

>>21797478
>Edge of Tomorrow gave me a really good HFY vibe
I'm not sure why. Tom Cruise Fuck Yeah maybe, but they couldn't have done shit if the aliens hadn't made a gaff and shared their power with the humans.

The lack of hfy movies is because the genre itself is a subversion of science fiction at large. Mary Sues don't make for good movies or novels, and all these stories are is humans as mary sue. It's more suited to the short format of a few posts, really.

That said, I can't think of very many sci fi movies where humans don't come out on top because of friendship or whatever. Star Trek seems like a good example (though not a movie) because you have this playboy human terror-assing through the universe solving nigga's problems and fucking they bitches.

>>21790525
>>21790694
>>21790828
4/10, it has potential, but there seems to be a lack of direction.

You don't have to end quotes when a character has finished speaking, you can leave it as-is.
Ex. "The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog. The owner was furious."

For formatting, it helps to start a new line when a different character is speaking. Additionally, as an autistic nitpick, you only need one exclamation point. Adding extra does little to improve the emphasis on the sentence.

I hope the criticism helps.

I entered the tavern in Volgurn's Keep weary from travel and ready to get a hearty brew and a good night's rest. I was there primarily to find work, though, and I knew that work was offered after dinner and not before breakfast, so I decided to see if anyone was in need of a hired sword. The tavern was populated with the usual assortment of characters; there were a few off-duty legionnaires, various other adventurers like myself, and a few locals drowning the sorrows of Glorious Imperial Taxes in a hearty brew. In the corner sat a shadowy figure, no doubt selling starmaps and simple hacking programs. In addition to the largely Anthrolian clientel there were a few Silvaran patrons as well. But the one person who caught my eye was different from the rest. He sat alone at a table, his several empty mugs telling me that he had been imbibing far more hearty brew than was healthy. He was a funny little creature, his skin nearly black and his hair sticking straight out from his head so as to form a sort of black planet surrounding his face. What got me though was his body shape. Even with him seated, I could tell that he stood no more than two meters tall, like some sort of man-babby. He was enormous for his height, though, and I estimated that he must be a full 75 kilograms. Certainly I had been to the Hamplanets of Gorgon-VI and made a wish on their enormous bellies, but to see someone out and about at that size was downright shocking. And what was even more unfathomable was that unlike the Hamplanets this little creature seemed to be made of pure muscle!

I approached warily, and he looked up at me as I did. He spoke first.

"Ayo nigga what's good? Watchu need doe? I got 9s, 40s, deucies, I gotta gauge, I gots it all mah nigga."

"Ah, slow down, good sir! I've not but come over to give greetings and see if you've any quests that I might assist thee with. I can see that thou hast imbibed far too much hearty brew and are now inebriated, so I shall leave thee to it."

>>21798277
"Nigga watchu talkin' 'bout? This hearty brew shit ain't got me drunk nigga this about as strong as watered down Tecate and I ain't had but six. Y'all niggas ain't got no Hennesey in this bitch so I gots to make do."

I couldn't make heads nor tails of what the foul little man was saying, so I turned to go. He stopped me.

"Hold up doe. You say you lookin' for work? I might got somethin' for you."

That got my attention, and I sat down at the table.

"Here's what it do. This nigga Jackson done moved in on my turf sellin' heaters y'heard? So I need to go teach that nigga a lesson but my crew out runnin' a shipment. Jackson's finna be in this system tomorrow so I could use an extra gun when it pop off. You down?"

I was not sure what sort of blood feud was going on between this little fellow and this Jackson character, but I needed work and this seemed as good as any. "Sir Gerinald the Notorious at your service, my good man," I said with a bow.

"Word up, my nigga," he replied, violently grabbing my hand with an iron grip and pulling me down so that our chests touched. "I'm Dennis, aka Dennis the Menace, aka Mr. Heater, aka Mr. Fuck Yo Bitch, you already know. I'll see you in the morning."

>>21798287
Morning came, and Sir Dennis was nowhere to be found. I asked the proprietor if he had seen the little man, but he explained that he had not come out of his room since last night. I went to rouse him, worried that we may miss the target of our quest.

I opened the door to his room, and what I saw was perhaps the most shocking sight of my life. Dennis was stark naked, standing on the bed. An Anthrolian woman was sitting in front of him, with her head between his legs. Above her, facing away from Dennis, a Silvaran female was bent over and grinding herself against him. I had been with a few of my own kind in my day to be sure, but Silvarans were notoriously intense lovers that took a great deal of fortitude to handle romantically. Yet here was Dennis handling her and an Anthrolian at once, and from the looks of things he hadn't just started.

"Ayo Geri! Imma be down in a second! Ay you wanna come tip one of these hoes off?" I declined, and went downstairs to wait for him to finish.

>>21798296
Dennis's ship was a curious thing. It was painted what he described as "candy apple red" and I had trouble crouching down far enough to fit inside. The interior was very luxurious for a scout transport, and I had to admit that the leather seats--upholstered in some place called the Detroit system according to Dennis--were the softest I had felt. The ship itself left much to be desired, though. I'm not sure whether it was the limitations of the engine or simply Dennis's piloting techniques, but it took us a full hour to get to the station where Jackson was supposed to be. As we meandered our way across the rather small system, Dennis would hail passing ships he recognized. I asked him about this.

"Yo nigga you tryna act brand new wit ya homies? That's how a nigga get shot!" I left it alone.

We got to the station and disembarked. It was not a Glorious Imperial controlled outpost, so I drew my sword immediately. Dennis looked almost offended.

"Nigga what you doin' with that sword? Ain't you got guns?"

"Well Sir Dennis, this is Calzor the Sharp, a magnificent blade of Silvaran make. There is no finer weapon in the galaxy. I think you'll find that it and I shall serve you well."

"Shit son at least take a deuce. For my peace of mind if not yours." He handed me a strange device that I had never seen. It did not seem very effective, but I pocketed it to assuage Dennis's obvious concern. He pulled out another device, this one much larger. I wasn't sure how he was going to kill anything with such a crude, over-engineered cudgel, especially not the way he was gripping it with both hands spread so far apart. It would be up to me to keep us alive against this Jackson.

>>21798410
Them, Jackson started to undress and kiss me.
I started to fell dizzy from his passionate kisses. We had no time for but was so strong, so forbiden, so good...

>>21798410
We found Jackson in a warehouse filled with boxes. He was another of the strange little creatures, but instead of Dennis's dark skin he had a pale and sickly hue. His hair was not shaped like a planet, either, but rather covered with a strange brimmed helmet made of cloth. I noticed that he had devices similar to the one Dennis had given me, one strapped to each leg. It seemed these man-babbies certainly had no clue about fighting. I was to soon be proved wrong.

"Ay you bitch-made honky-ass wonder bread-eatin' bitch motherfucker why you sellin' on my turf?"

"You dirty fuckin' watermelon-eating nigger son of a whore, I'll sell wherever the fuck I wanna sell!"

I assumed that this was simply how they communicated, but all of a sudden things went chaotic. Jackson pulled his devices and pointed them at Dennis, and they exploded with a deafening boom. Dennis pointed his device at Jackson and made several booms of his own, these ones louder by far. I am not too proud to admit that I dove behind a box. I peeked around, and it seemed that both Jackson and Dennis had also taken cover. They were, however, popping out momentarily to make another boom. Looking at the boxes Jackson was hiding behind splinter into pieces with every boom, I realized that the devices were far more effective than I had thought. I was marvelling at the man-babby engineering when I nearly died. Apparently Jackson had not been alone. A small band of Slark slaves were bearing down on me. I jumped up and began to fight them, my Silvaran blade hewing through the foul beasts with ease.

When I had dispatched my foes, I turned back to see how Dennis was faring. He and Jackson had both discarded their devices and were now beating each other with their fists. I went to intervene, but a stray blow from one of the combatants was enough to send me sprawling, such was their strength.

>>21798574
I could do naught but watch as the little creatures fought. Eventually, though, they seemed to tire, and Dennis got the better of Jackson, breaking his leg.

"Imma let you live this time since you datin' my sister, but if I catch yo honky ass back here again Imma fuckin' kill you. Oh, and I'm takin' yo heaters, too."

We left with several boxes full of the weapons that Dennis and Jackson had been using. Dennis taught me to use the one he called the deucie, but the force of it was such that it nearly blew me away when I shot it the first time. I decided to tag along with him, and we became best of friends and had adventures throughout the galaxy.

The End.

>>21798017
Thanks actual this helps.

To the guy writing the space elf story make sure they get raped, because that is what happens to elves

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My favorite.

>>21800488
sorry no raping the elves literally, just figuratively.

>>21801241
No, we need some tactical operator penis delta whiskey hotel insertion in some elf backyard

>>21766332
>Tyrone Tsuzhen-Goldbergstein

>>21795122
Transfer mind to warship, play RL-vidya for eternity?

>>21766786
>mutants are the next step in evolution
>constantly being killed off while containing no consistent powers.

>autobots supposedly superior being (despite Prime being a bro)
>are constantly getting their shit ruined by shia lebouf of all people

>>21767944
anymore of general filthy animal?!

>>21797140
says you and no one else.

lurk more.
/k/ loves them some halo, especially odsts.

>>21765628
>/k/ partakes
>fills cart with oreos and mt dew
>gets to cash register
>rings up cart full of shit
>realizes overcome with hunger
>buys shit anyway
>becomes fat(ter) fuck
>/k/ loses freedoms

>>21802027
I think you're in the wrong thread, friend.

>>21801963
Still dont make a cool game or franchise.

>>21802124
again, to you.
alot of people disagree.
and no one gives a shit about what you think.

>>21802149
The fact that you replied makes me thing that you do give a shit.

But whatevaer.

>>21802083
god damn it.

>>21790525
>a century posted at the door
>a century
Other than the English, good one.

>>21802551
Not my first language and still learned but I've gotten better and will work on getting better.

(That and spell check is a cunt)

I was also working on another one. The movie True Grit inspired me.

ok this is the guy working on the elf story, where can I upload this for a proofread? and do I have any volunteers to go over it?

>>21803539
Post it now, we want it.

>>21798630
My white is about to show:

Is a deuce a .22?

>>21804863
Yeah. Common slang among LA bangers, but can't speak for the rest of the universe.

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>>21804881
I see.

That story really makes me want a properly good longsword...

>>21804863

Deuce means 2. That's it.

>>21804970
No shit. Just "2" doesn't make sense in relation to what is clearly a gun of some sort though.

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Oh wow, haven't seen an HFY thread for a while.

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>>21805030

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>>21805052

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>>21805065
I keep trying to post stuff and it's already been posted, damn.

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>>21805052

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>>21805090

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>>21805105

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>>21805124
At this point I'm randomly clicking in my HFY folder and seeing what gives me duplicate files and what doesn't.

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>>21805150

>>21805150
Thats a large reason why I have not dumped mine, I saw 1/2 of it here already.

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>>21805170
This one's pretty /k/. In all the "I'm going to boot camp, any advice?" threads everyone says if the instructors don't know your name you're doing great. This one starts by subverting that notion.

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>>21805194

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>>21805204
Pic related is one of my favorites.

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>>21805220

>>21765823
Story was good up until this post, then everything went to shit.

>>21805236
I think that's it for now. It's getting frustating going through my folder and getting nothing duplicate file notices. One day I'll name them all appropriately and have them better organized so one day dumping might be easier.

>>21804922
You'd basically be unstoppable once you got to space.

>>21805332
I wasn't making allusion to it being practical... I just want one.

>>21804981
the "ma deuce" is slang for the M2 50 cal used in the army, marines corp, etc.

the guy writing the story is retarded and either left out the "ma" or is REALLY retarded and doesnt realize that the ma is included

>>21805460
The alien that fit into the same cab as a nig clearly didn't have ma deuce in his pocket. >>21804970 is right. "Deuce deuce" or just "deuce" is slang for a a gun that shoots .22lr.

>>21805460
if the alien got his shit wrecked trying to involve himself in a human v human fist fight, do you really think he could carry around a M2 while swordfighting other aliens? almost certainly means .22lr pistol.

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When the chips are down and they take out or infrastructure, this thread and threads like it won't mean jack shit.

How many sloths for every innovator? We are a species of petty dimwitted loafers.

>>21805460
As I explained, it's slang for a .22 pistol, it's not a fucking machine gun.

Anyone got a link to the short story where aliens arrive in 1800s era wooden ships and get wrekt?

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>Tfw barring some miracle in medical science you will never live long enough to see humanity launch a great crusade to conquer the universe.

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>>21805527
while that sounds hilarious, how do you figure out interstellar travel and not use equally impressive tech in your surface vehicles? It's like using a C130 to bring in horse drawn ballistae.
anyone got any HFY themed versions of pic related?

>>21805609
Apparently the premed of the story was that it was tech we just Missed totally. As a result it was like wooden sailing ships in skies.

Pretty good if I could get a link

>>21765628
Finger on the trigger and hair beyond regulation length.

2/10 would not kill xeno scum with with but would roughly sodomise around the back of the officer's mess after returning from patrol.

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>>21805527
>>21805609
>>21805621

http://pastebin.com/aJQfubrK

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>>21805741
I feel like these two pair well

>>21792967
I could read a book by this author...damn

>>21804424
The portal was nearly open, almost a full year of work weaving the very fabric of aelos blessing to create a doorway needed to enter another world. Though difficult to create once completed the portal would be nearly impossible to close, nearly eighty feet wide and fourty tall the gate would be the road to new riches.

As a Citizen of Almen It was my duty to serve my queen, and as a Soldier in her army it was my Personal pride to have risen to command an entire division tasked with finding other worlds and reaping the benifits from their forced induction into the empire.
In nearly seven hundred years not a single world had been able to resist our magical might, tree speaker soldiers clad in armor made from living wood, weilding staves and shields ready to link at a moment in a short phalanx four wide and four deep, with their ability to control any wood they touched they where the finest warriors ever seen on any known world, in the center of each formation walked a Leaf Master. With abilities similar to the assembled Tree speakers a leaf master could manipulate wood at a distance to deflect arrows turning them against the armies who loosed them, even going so far as to fire a swarm of splinters or launching logs at their enemies.


But the most rare of all enlisted Elves, those who invariably rose high within the ranks (such as myself) where known as the Aether masters, those who could manipulate the aether within any living thing, able to control plants and animals alike, a single Aether master could turn an entire army, simply bending them to his will and subsuming their own wishes to his attacking their friends or laying down their weapons.


Today was the day we would take enter another world, the beings would no doubt have noticed the rippling vortex effect created on by the gateway but that was unavoidable. None could stand before our might, blessed by Aelos god of magic our kind where the rightful rulers of the many worlds.

>>21807687
was it not proven by our unbridalled might? our ageless grace? our perfection in every aspect was apparent to us, and as such we where convinced of our right to rule all other races. they where below us barely more than animals.

I ordered the first three units through the gate, once through there would be no way to contact them without stepping through the portal, or having a message sent through. They would kill any people surrounding the gate clearing the area of resistance before sending a runner back to request my aid in capturing those unharmed enough to be worthy of slavery to us.

>>21807694

Five hours later and No word had come back through the portal, this was unusual the first group should have requested my presence by then. The remaining troops were beginning to become anxious at the wait and uncertainty. I ordered the remaining five units to form up. We would enter through the gate and discover what was taking the other groups so long. I had just past the last unit formed up for entry when something came throught the gate. It came quickly screaming as it flew, crashing to the ground just behind my second unit, erupting in fire and thunder killing many of my recruits, and staggering many more.
Before I had a chance to recover from my shock men in green came rushing through the gate holding strange weapons that blaired thunder and fire at my men. Wherever they gestured my men died as if whatever they used ignored all armor. I readied my magic, I would put an end to this unthinkable outrage. I began to cast my will to these unknown beasts when one of them hurled something round in my direction, I saw a flash and felt a thump. and then knew nothing but darkness.

it was many hours before I awoke, bound with my hands behind my back in steel shackles. I was lieing on a hard slat. a in a small room with a single door, I tried to come to grips with what had happened, the memories seemed unthinkable. These lesser beings had somehow overwhelmed his forces and captured him. This had never happened in the history of the empire! The very thought that the chosen of aelos could be defeated was as alien to me as these very beings themselves.

But if I was taken alive then these beings must be fools, they had made a mistake that would end with their total destruction, I would gather my will and dominate every creature I saw and take this world myself.

>>21807698

The door to my room opened and two men with the same weapons I had seen earlier entered and gestured for me to leave the room one in front of me and one behind. I reached for my magic, ready to fling it at them. to make them my own. I reached into them ready to twist the spark of aether that flows within all living things and in doing so control their hearts and minds. and found nothing.

You must understand this was not just impossible, this was something never even thought of before, EVERYTHING alive or once alive contained a spark of aether, It is in the teachings of our youngest children that aelos blessed each creature, plant, and animal with a portion of his being and when he was done he ordained us rulers over all that he had blessed.
Dumbfounded and for the first time in my life I went where I was lead, eventually coming to another room where I was seated at a table. A man entered the room and began asking questions, who where we? Where had we come from? Why had we killed the people researching the anomoly?

Annoyed at the audacity of this lower being having addressed me as if it where MY equal I determined I would destroy it. I would bring all my power to bear and burn its mind from existance, again I gathered all my might, and again I hurled my strength at the creature.

>>21807703

It didnt even notice, except that I had not answered it. For the first time since childhood I fealt terror. not fear, but true unparralelled terror, what kind of abomination not only did not know the touch of aelos but literally could not feel his wrath when invoked? what kind of creatures where these that could live a bleak life of complete and utter seperation from the true god? And more importantly how had they destroyed my legion so easily?

I told them. I told them everything I could. I told them of our great empire, of our Matriarch Queen, who had decreed thousands of years before that in order to keep our land pure we would take what we needed from other worlds. Enslaving all who could not stop us, taking the resources of those we enslaved. It was our right! I entreated. All who lived belonged to us! We where the rightfull rulers of this and all other worlds.

The creature simply shook its head. "No" it said "We are the owners of this world, and by attacking us and killing our people. Along with your confession that you came to kill and enslave us you have given us more than just a reason to retaliate, you have given us an excuse."

The creature waited a moment before continuing. "however, we would hate to waste the lives of our soldiers, not to mention the slaughter that would be visited upon your own. So we are willing to try diplomacy. You will be released back through the gate with a message to your queen, you will take this" at this moment he slid rectangular paper package to me. "and you will give it to your queen. Inside are the only terms of surrender we will accept."

>>21807710
They took me back to the gate then, when we walked though the portal I expected to find disarray on the other side. Maybe even still fighting. I did not expect to find tents and loud metal boxes everywhere, nor the hundreds of green clothed soldiers riding in them. I made up my mind to take the message back to my queen, at the very least she needed to know what I had seen. And maybe we could prepare and drive these abominable beasts from out realm.

From the mobile command center just outside of the portal a soldier looked up at his commanding officer

"Package away sir the tracker is working beautifully, we can follow him anywhere he goes"

"sounds good, now all we have to do is wait."
"what if they refuse our terms sir?"

"Then at that time we get to depose a tyrant and institute democracy through overwhelming missile barrage."

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>>21807717
Not bad.

>>21807717
Well done sir.

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>>21807687
>>21807694
>>21807698
>>21807703
>>21807710
>>21807717
>mfw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jjtkMCLRf-M

I look forward to this thread every morning before work.

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>>21793068
>cooky

>>21807717
Could someone cap this for me please I am on the phone not the computer

>>21808605
>>21808439
>>21808402
well thanks guys