Bonsai feels like it would be a natural /jp/sie hobby. What

/jp/ can barely take care of themselves, I doubt they could take care of any other living thing.

>>14683954
Its literally gardening.

>>14684032
I like gardening. It makes me feel like I'm needed. Without me, the flowers and grass would wither and die. Kind of like pets, but pets usually don't like me, so it's a bit easier to handle.

bonsai is for wrinkly ladies

I don't like the idea of bonzai. It seems wrong somehow. It's like you're mutilating this living thing over and over to stunt its growth and make it aesthetically appealing.

Imagine if you were slicing parts off a woman throughout the years so that she remained a loli when she stopped growing, and that's how I view bonsai.

>>14684196
Don't chinks do that with women's feet already?

>>14684104
So you need to feel wanted?

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>>14684205
chinese did you ignorant faggot. Japanese just cut off limbs for food.

Sorry dude, but us /jp/sies live in the fast lane. We don't have time for things like bonsai!

>>14683991
This.

Also it's quite expensive to get.
And after you've trimmed it, then what? Doubt you would look at it that often.
Why invest in something from which you get only a few minutes of joy each week?
However, I do agree that they can look nice in a proper environment.

>>14684196
Was giving me a boner part of your plan?

>>14684403
>Was giving me a boner part of your plan?

Of course.

>>14684403
>Doubt you would look at it that often.

If it's just going to be sitting in my room on my desk there isn't really any way I could avoid looking at it.

>>14683991
I've killed five air ferns.

I don't even dare think of adopting anything more intensive.

>>14683991
I've had multiple cats throughout my life so I can confidently say, that having to take care of someone other than yourself, is fucking annoying and sucks you dry. And cats are mostly going to leave you alone so I somewhat agree.

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>>14684032
I think it requires far less manual labor than gardening.
My reasons why I thought it'd be a decent /jp/ hobby are the following:
-solitary
-low effort
-done at home, even inside
-relatively cheap, you buy it once and then just water it and groom it as you desire
-theoretically possible to shape it into a 2hu, or at least a hat

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I think growing gourmet mushrooms is the perfect /jp/ hobby.

Because I've adopted many "hobbies" in my years and noticed it usually follows a pattern of

>interest
>research on the internet
>buying of materials
>large focus and use of hobby in the first few days
>distraction
>tapering off of hobby
>lack of longterm hobby-doing

Which is actually perfect for mushrooms
Do it all right at first, do the important research and sterilization, buy the spores and put them in a spawn, forget about them, remember you are growing mushrooms, put spawn in a substrate (like a monobox), lose interest and forget about the mushrooms, remember you have mushrooms in your basement/closet, find that they have grown and you can harvest them.

Perfect for a /jp/
You can grow tasty fungi like enoki or shiitake for a nice mushroom dashi, or even grow drugs! Whatever you want.

>>14684248
No, I like to feel wanted.

>>14686413
how does it work?

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>>14686413
"gourmet mushrooms," is that what they're calling them now?

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>>14683954
Bonsai is apparently quite an anal hobby to maintain. I myself thought it would be as easy as planting a seed on a small pot filled with soil and watering it once a day.

Not so at all, once it grows enough, you have to unearth it to cut all the ugly root nips that poke out of the surface and trim it occasionally, if a branch gets diseased, you have to purchase a special paste and spread it so that the tree heals properly, depending on the plant it must be watered at specific times or it'll die...

There's some more stuff that I can't remember off the top of my head, and while none of it sounds terribly complicated at all, it's still not something someone who isn't invested in it can just think to jump in and have success right from the get-go. Things you take for granted for a fully grown tree, you can't for a Bonsai.

>>14691951
>"twit bonsai"
>not "tsui bonsai" as it clearly shows in the title

Fucking localization teams, is there anything you won't fuck up?

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>>14686413
I can attest to this, growing mushrooms is a lot of fun, though slightly more effort than you are letting on as you have to check up on them periodically so you don't get sick from eating bad mushrooms which are mainly the fault of a bad setup/poor handling.

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>>14691951
What's the point?

>>14693042
Still waiting for someone to make an app where you raise a waifu, Tamagotchi style all the way from toddler, through loli, elementary-, highschool and into an adult.
With proper care she'd become a loving housewife, with no care a slutty gyaru.

>>14694084
I'm down for this as long as if you pass someone else on the street that has the app, you get a random chance to get NTR'd.

That'll teach good, conservative values to people who think going outside is a good thing. People will feel more inclined to never leave their rooms so they can raise their perfect waifus!

>>14692176
>>14686413

that Penis Envy is fire tho pham

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Does cannabis count?
lmao

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>>14694595
Do not bully the Syoko, her intentions are pure.