Old thread got 404'd early. Just going to test the waters here with this totally normal succubutt...
Monster Girl Pastebin: http://pastebin.com/UevqvF4h
Monster Girl Wordpress: https://monstergirlscollection.wordpress.com
I wish it was summer.
How about a Lilim and a Pharaoh in one?
Hell, why stop there? Get a bunch of powerhouse monstergirls for a reverse gangbang.
Pharaoh, Anubis, Lilim, Demon, Dragon, Hellhound, ect.
I freely admit that I may have a problem.
Good night Anons.
Take care and don' burn down the thread.
Instead, please consider looking into a non-standard maid such as an ogre, alice, or medusa.
We all know how good kikis, neronagos, and shoggoths are but these maids are looking at a shot to help you.
I want to do that with a muscled
I want to make her moan as I tug her tail and stroke her wings.
>reading through thread
>try to open up greentexted story
>can't because thread was deleted
I want to be dragged backstage by a group of Kakuen dancers and then get gangbanged by them.
Because getting gangbanged by horny monstergirls is a long running fantasy of mine. And then I have to marry them.
Anon we've been over this, you can't just lure Mouse Girls into your dungeon, dress them up in cute outfits, press your face into their hair and sniff them while they stammer and turn red in the face.
I want some thing like that but instead of being gangbanged by them I want those Kakuens to line up their fat monkey butts next to each other and beg me to fuck them. Then when I do pick one the rest crowd around me and whisper lewd words of encouragement into my ears while they wait their turns.
Nyanon? That fucking
I couldn't stand his
lack of writing more about blind shota anon and his guide puppy. If I ever get the hang of drawing younger characters I'd like to draw 4komas about their adventures.
>You'll never receive the greatest lap dance you've ever experienced from a Kakuen who kept eyeing you in the nightclub
That's good too.
It's too late anon, I'm already a slut for smug monkey booty.
So much smug monkey booty riding my dick 90% of the time. I need to drink endurance potions to pretty much overclock my semen production to satisfy them all. Worth it. Also, the Captcha was bananas. I guess the Captcha thinks it's funny.
Because it's a one time offer.
They can't say no and then try to leave when their massive mousy mammaries start popping their tops and their thighs rub together.
When they stay, they stay for life.
barring if they already have a husband or boyfriend, then they can go with a stern warning
If its an oni or ogre expect a solid fist to the face faster than you can register it, and to be put out untill her shift ends, only to be woken up by her hips slamming against your own in the staff rooms a she releases all the pent up tension from the job, and lust watching other girls get off, and being unable to join in, followed by tender cuddling and perhaps nursing of your swollen face, with gentle chiding as to not mess with her while she's on the job next time
For those of you who weren't awake at 5 AM yesterday, here's some tanukibutt: http://pastebin.com/ZU4MYKxF
Or maybe you were awake, or live in a different time zone. You don't have to read it, I'm not a cop.
Then even more so. Even better if she can morph her body in and out of loli form. Himedere a best. And Elins are just the best thing.
Pretty sure that was someone else, Anon. Everything I've written for you guys is in my pastebin
or on tft.
Nope, I mean a Monster Girl work camp. You're going to Monster Girl hell and then you're going to Monster Girl die, because Monster Girl Joseph Stalin is at the wheel of this cruise ship.
But some onis are small and superior.
The idea that the confidence and maturity of a wight's personality would completely fix everything wrong with the timid and useless nightmare almost makes me want to consider horsepussy.
But the whole appeal of nightmares is their different personalities in the dream and real world.
>The confident Wightmare becomes unusually shy and timid in the dream world
>"R-really? I can be anything you know. I mean, this is my realm now. Are you sure you really want me,
as I am?"
But they like you. They'd like him too.
Wightmare Frame vs Wurm Wrangler, which wins? The Wrangler has reach, but the Frame has flexibility.
Is it just me or are these weapons spooky as fuck. So sharp and thin, the lightest, most elegant of pressures can run a man through. One in the hands of a vamp with her speed and praeternatural grace is enough to make the blood run cold.
>Shooting a scion of the night
It's like shooting mist Unless you're blade.
>You'll never duel with your vamp adventurer partner, giant sword cleaving apart the air, her lithe form slipping just past and under it, forcing you to block her thin blade with the flat of your own hulking sword-wall
>Your rock to her water, the duel lasting hours, ending with your sword thrust out, her standing atop it, rapier to your throat
>Her victory, bringing it to a tie once more
That's because the feeling of a cold blade going straight into your gut would be extremely uncomfortable, and you don't need to have experienced it to realize it.
So no it's not just you, everyone would be spooked by them if they were at the business end of one.
Alright, I've finally managed to write shit to prove I'm actually trying and I'm not totally dead. It's shit, it needs editing, along with the rest of the paste, but fuck, I got it down. I may actually finish this shit in the forseeable future and then move on to my other projects like
Semi-Incubised Veteran, if I don't intermittently add to them to keep the ideas fresh.
The text is now done in prose, the main character now has a real name, and currently we've had a small timeskip into useless semi-feelsy exposition whatever-the-shit. Nothing's really happening yet, but it will come soon. Starts at line 285.
Comments, criticism, and calling me a faggot are welcome and encouraged, always.
Of course it's a religion, look at this goddess!
It's the better option period due to the katana having a shit guard, terrible durability, and being short as fuck for a 2 hander. Even against unarmed peasants you'd pick a longsword or a shortsword and a shield.
man I want a guy like that as a bodyguard
the monsters will have a hard time getting through that shit.
>It's the better option period due to the katana having a shit guard, terrible durability, and being short as fuck for a 2 hander
That doesn't take into account the art of using it though. While I agree the longsword is better, I don't think you're giving the nippon stronk enough creddit.
have you not seen anything in fighting media.
the big guys are usually the ones that go down first! some jinko or salamander is going to rape this shit out of your guard, and lets not get into the demons.
don't rely on anyone else. but some muscle on those bonds and up your speed. that is the only way to get out un raped
Well I don't like it, and what I say goes because I have the commander of legions on my side!
ask your self what you want as your defender looks wise
>prettyboy swordsman the looks like he'll snap if breathe on him
>weird middle ground between the first two
>get your own hands dirty
I choose this. I'll pick him myself, even. I'll take the one with the hat that says "wizzard", because he's obviously confident in his skills and can afford to be humorous about it!
I had an idea for a fic once, about a random soldier guy who ends up killing this big guy in a war and because of that has to be on the run from MGs that want the "trophy"
Never developed the idea though, seemed cliche as fuck. Big guys are the most common thing you can think of.
I wonder if there are bigfags in the human boy general.
How big are we talkin'?
fuck that shit
a pure girl with guns is what I want
Why would it need a well-defined MC? the story was good as it was even in greentext form, it was focusing on the right stuff.
I actually want to see how it ends, feels like the characters will get what they want in the end.
Not him but 2 handed swords aren't super practical most of the time, and Katanas have one of the worst possible designs for a 2 handed sword
The only reason they were ever effective at all was the Japanese were allergic to shields and didn't have the natural resources to produce good armor
I'm not referring to this story in particular requiring a well-defined MC.
I'm just stating my opinion on 2nd-person stories in general because I have seen one where not only does the author use "you" and give the MC a proper name/characteristics, but also intentionally made the MC an unlikable twat.
I like Werewolves but when it comes to lewdness they are vanilla as fuck, when it's about that, i liked more how the "in heat" thing worked for catgirls, i always liked how they are normal one moment and then the other they lust for your dick so bad it hurts.
Monsters might be stronger than humies but... we'll always be bettwe than them at video games!
How does it defeat the purpose? You're not emphasizing with the story, and putting yourself in the story as the main character, you're emphasizing with the main character and putting yourself behind their eyes to have prime view of what they do
Then would you become the Royal Executioner, punishing enemies of state?
>Emphasizing with the main character and putting yourself behind their eyes to have a prime view of what they do.
A good author can make that happen with 1st, or even 3rd person.
The way I see it is that the purpose of 2nd person is to make the MC a self-insert, since the pronoun "you" is being used.
The thing with 2nd person is that it's goal is to make you the reader as invested as possible in what's happening, making you bond with the character to the point you actually feel him as yourself.
First person just feels like you are hearing someone tell his tale instead of living it yourself and third person is... well, too chaotic at times, you don't know who you should be following and why.
A good author can do anything with anything. And you don't create a bland character to self insert into, not unless you're a boring writer, you make a badass, historied personality that people can relate to, and experience their story as if they were that character, not the character them, not the other way around.
They are probably discussing about how much they would like to rape shotas, with the casual faggot being baned for posting human girls.
Then suddenly and Oomukade brings yaoi into the thread making the Kikimora janitor clean the shitstorm that follows.
Maybe I've seen too many terrible 2nd person stories, but I just feel like a good amount of them could benefit from being rewritten in 3rd person.
In some instances, the author decides that "you" do something which completely breaks the immersion for me because I immediately think "No I wouldn't."
If one of you could point me towards what would be considered an "excellently written" 2nd person story/novel/whatever, I would probably have a better leg to stand on in this discussion.
I'm no author, though. I'll leave that style of writing to the majors that specialize in it.
Can't wait to start my first lab report of the semester.
>In some instances, the author decides that "you" do something which completely breaks the immersion for me because I immediately think "No I wouldn't."
Yes, but that's only because you're not yet so involved with the character that you can easily go "Yes, I as this person, would do this."
>"It's 2016 and there's still girls here who don't want to be at the mercy of a man"
>"Fuck off you Dormouse, not everyone here can attract men in their sleep"
>"I'm a Manticore you stupid dyke"
>"Sure and I'm the demon lord now stop baiting"
/hbg/ would be just as awful as these threads.
Anyone know hot is feels when you're supposed to be writing one story but your bimbo of a muse is giving you ideas for three completely different ones?
Most of them have to do with ears.
I'm going to help my yellow jacket GF infiltrate the bee girl fraternity!
Not really. I just let the ideas sit in the back of my head. The forgettable ones fade away while the ones worth writing about will stick with me till I'm done writing the current story.
>Anyone know hot is feels when you're supposed to be writing one story but your bimbo of a muse is giving you ideas for three completely different ones?
Sort of, I'm not really a writefag but I've got a number of different ideas spinning around in my head and telling me to give them a shot.
Sure. Quite a number of monster girl artists outside these threads are actually girls.
People will find a reason to shitpost about yuri but there's literally no valid reason that a real girl couldn't like monster girls. We're not a group of shotas with a sign on the door saying "no girls allowed."
If there is a multiverse then it's very likely such a thread exists out there somewhere.
They'd all be doing exactly the same thing as us too, just talking utter shit, masturbating over pictures of their favourite type, and writing stories about raping or being raped by their favourite type.
They'd bitch about the official canon where magic doesn't exist in our world and ask weird questions to Baphomet KC like "Can people just walk into the White House and watch the President's wife giving birth?"
I don't understand why you would like them.
The general stuff behind the most common setting here, MGE, is that human women get transformed into monsters whether they like it or not and monsters make better and more faithful lovers anyway.
I can see plenty of women being offended by it, and maybe not just the tumblr types.
That said, a girl who actually wants to be a succubus sounds hot as hell to me
Absolutely. I'm in the middle of writing a story right now, but I have at least 3 ideas that I want to get out really soon. I won't let myself get distracted though, but I can't get the motivation or to finish the first one.
I know how it feels. Except, instead of a sultry, voluptuous muse who whispers sweet nothings and honeyed promises, she's a brutish ogre not unlike the wicked step-sister parody in Shrek.
Calloused hands bludgeoning into my head that no story will ever be good enough in place of a feminine purr that promises delights in providing.
I wonder what the MG versions of our writefags would be like.
I bet the anti-Alp would write about an oomukade finding a stinky smelly NEET in her basement or an Alp getting pounded by a black bara.
Speaking of other universes, it kind of blows my mind that somewhere out there could be a world from one of our shitty stories, and in that reality somewhere is a monster writing an acclaimed fantasy novel about a world where humans exist alone and magic is impossible.
To someone out there, WE are the impossible fantasy characters. There might even be some girl commissioning art or dakis of you. Hell, Deruella might be passionately rubbing against her custom made daki of you and impatiently ordering the lead Baphomet to research interdimensional travel as I type this crazy shit.
According to the multiple universes theory, there are so many universes in existence that the probability of there existing an universe where human boy general exists as we describe is practically 100%
The probabilities are so infinite that there is indeed an universe somewhere where you are Deruella's perfect husbando.
It made me cringe a bit.
But I'm a slob in a mildly uncomfortable wooden chair and swig beer rather than brandy.
Really though I'm fine with girls liking MGE as long as they aren't the "lol guyz I wanna lez out with a mg" type. They can simply say that they want to do lewd things without explicitly mentioning their gender and causing a shitstorm.
Well there's always the non-mge settings, like I said a few posts ago there's plenty of girls who draw monster girls who don't need semen to live. The majority of monster girls fall into this category but it doesn't mean the whole yuri thing should be forced here, it just means that girls liking monster girls in general is fine.
>Husband, I am home and my magma is boiling?
>Ohhhh Miss Ilothe Ohhhh
>Let's do it, and I'll leave the volcano erupting
>20 KM radius
>LILIMS GRINDING INTO DAKIS (MISS ILOTHE)
>Knights waifuing Dragons
>It was amazing
What makes me cringes is that what you say is literally true, ANYTHING is possible.
There is literally an universe in existence out there where you have fetishes you despise to death in this reality, just think about that.
The problem with the multiverse theory is that it clearly states the status of "infinity" is achievable.
We know our universe had a beginning and will have an end. The chances of a multiverse not following the same rules is probably very little so our waifus probably don't exist in some alternate reality.
>ThunderSister writing about antisemitism against Human Jewish Boys
>PRW...oman typing up green texts about african rapetrain mating dances and autistic librarian daki-men.
>those are pretty much the only two writers I actually pay attention to
>Harbladora writing about complete Average Joes
>Nyanon wanting to be wooed by an Italian cheese maker
>Bobbina wanting a Cheshire monsterboy to take his big, rigid barbed cat cock and shove it in her ass
>Fizz becomes an actual Cheshire
>Kitsch furiously masturbates and writes to the idea of her ideal husbando licking passionfruit syrup off her 'tum-tum'
>Quicksilver focuses on /ss/ only
>ParkedBuggy finally finishes Amazon
>Maritan turns her art into a Rastafarian who has a mini-Lilim constantly tripping balls
>lanternon actually being that lantern monstergirl
>LDR actually being a vampire or lilim
>Harblador actually being a great old one with a love of writing smut. That drives all mortal readers insane
>Peterdnzl is a huge jinko now
>Bob is still some guy who ruined cheshires, only now he fears for his life because cheshires are real and they want revenge
>Alp still can't write for shit, but at least he has some amazing tits.
>Alp still can't write for shit
Why do you still hate?
be a killjoy somewhere else. in my head infinity is possible. i don't care if the multiverse doesn't have the energy to make all possible universes from infinite possibilities, i just want to believe it can, it's the only thing that makes me think life can be less shitty.
>alp will never write a story where he meets his alternate reality self and they sit down to question is sex between them would count as incest or masturbation
You'll come back to us, you will...
Isn't your imagination enough to satisfy that?
Why does /jp/ need to believe it's even a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of a possibility their waifus really exist in some other universe.
I want to hogtie and gag my Kobold waifu and Kobold daughteru! I want to sit naked on the opposite side of the bed from them and see who can struggle over to me first! Whoever wins gets a dicking! Whoever loses
still gets a dicking.
>Meet the alternate version of yourself where you are a qt monster girl
>She starts to be flirty and invades your personal space
>She gets tired of it and goes directly to try and give you a blowjob
>When you try to complain she just replies
>"Don't worry, i am just masturbating myself"
How weird would it feel at that moment?
Don't worry Alp, compared to that guy from TFT that literally writes self insert furry stories you're a top level writer.
And cruel jokes aside, your stuff is enjoyable. I still hold a grudge against you for making Oomukades stinky but that was more the thread's fault for turning it into a meme.
>>ParkedBuggy finally finishes Amazon
Somewhere out there is a universe where I'm a fucking sex symbol.
A universe where Half Life 3 exists
A universe where monstergirls made contact and now all of our alternate selves are happy and content in the arms of our waifus
A universe where humanity has created FTL travel and now live as gods in an intergalactic utopia
But I refuse to believe a universe exists where ParkedBuggy has finished that story. I bet it's some constant across the multiverse, the one thing that connects all realities, that this guy made a nice Amazon story and then just left it at chapter one.
What the hell are you talking about. You're talking about a theoretical physical sense of infinity. Which is described as counting zeros forever until you hit a "1" and then try to go for "2" and so on.
Infinite possibilities of the multiverse is still restricted by the limit of the energy it has to create more universes. My waifu is probably not existent but it's a nice thought.
"Daddy-o, this is a rip-roaring time I tell you!"
"I say, I say, I'mma cum again I am!"
"Jee willikers I ejaculated a lot. That climax was fine and dandy, just look at my turgid tallywacker!"
I wouldn't fuck my alt self unless she had fetishes that perfectly corresponded with mine instead of being exactly mine. I like too much stuff that I wouldn't want to be done to me.
I don't really hold much against the site. It has some good writers and some bad, it doesn't take long to realise who is and isn't worth following.
I don't even hate Bob, sure he's written some stuff I hate but he's also done some nice stuff too.
"I say, you've gone and filled me to the brim with your baby batter, daddy-o! D'you expect me to bake a bun in this oven?"
"What's that? Done so soon? But you've not had any cafe-au-laite with your crepe!"
"I-It's okay, I'll let you put the paper bag on my and hit me and call me mean things and please don't stick my tail in my ass, you gave me bowed legs for days. ;_;"
>Someone made that "ironically"
>People bought that "ironically"
>I still pity the fool who actually thinks Bob's tumor is a good writer.
It's less that I think he's a good writer and more that despite the massive amounts of shit he pumps out, once in a while he gets it right.
>Alp meditates at his desk
>She's just as self-depricating as he is
>He's only thinking FINALLY A GIRL IN MY BEDROOM
>They spend an entire evening speaking in weird jib about wet tacos and turgid tallywhackers and how he wants to bury his wedding tackle into her deepest parts
>Alp wakes up the next morning, cold and alone
>The Christmas special for
Kampferwas on all night on repeat on his computer monitor
>Nothing says love like your own genderbent clone
>Worse case I can shut her up by putting something in her mouth.
Your tongue is probably the best bet. Kissing an annoying girl is the best way to make her be quiet without her realising what's going on.
She's shy and only acts tough in dreams? Replace dreams with "internet" and we're basically the same.
I'd fuck my alt-universe self though, front pussy is acceptable and she's got a great pair of tits.
I'm not even religious, but to be fair she is from a world where gods are provable and show up. My obsession with video games and movies would for her be sex and the Fallen God.
I'm in for a very creepy session of her gushing about how amazing an eternity of pleasure will be all while knowing that this is supposed to be myself. I mean, I masturbate a lot as it is, god knows how much she would play with herself being an actual sex demon.
I don't think I'd want to fuck her, but I would be curious about what she looks like. What would my ugliness by like after a heavy dose of demonic energy? How big would her tits be? Would she be happy for me to waffle on about video games if I listened to her perverted ranting?
Yeah, but technically I'm sucking my own dick. I'm sure she'd be down with it because she's a monstergirl and she'd know I'd understand her the most out of anyone, but this is weird shit.
>Kitsune-Bi slips into the mind of a sleeping dragon, taking a century to undermine her psyche until she's ready for the final push to take complete control of her consciousness and body, eradicating the previous personality
>Stumble across a dragon with ghost fire spilling out of her wings and a wavering crown of blue flame that sometimes forms tall fox-like ears, the blue flame of her tail making it look almost bushy and furry
Maybe as a joke.
If she is alternate me then she's going to have a pretty good sense of humor
along with self-esteem that is less than great.
Best part is I now have a lifting buddy and shower sex will be a must, although I think that her chest will be rather lacking if my sister is anything to go by.
I'm going to steal Anya into my sci-fi story if nobody else wants her. Hope that makes you happy, Alpie.
God Damn it this isn't what I meant when I told you people to go fuck yourselves.
Umbrella girl. Why is this so fitting?
So I was out walking in the woods today and noticed a lot of squirrels running about. They were hopping from tree to tree and making some insane jumps across flimsy branches that could barely hold their weight.
So if KC makes a squirrel girl I'm thinking she should have an interest in parkour, perhaps to get up tall buildings to get to the guys who live there.
How can you stay mad when she gives you... The Look?
I want to work for an older kiki business women with a stern glare, a habit of cleaning up my desk whenever she swings by, and
a frilly maid dress she wants to wear but never has because she can't find a master.
I would be glad to see a story like this developed, like an anon meets a Kiki online and they develop one of those standard dom/sub relationships.
Then the anon finds a job and his boss is no other than the Kiki he met online, how would that sudden change of roles would work?
>Boss, i brought you your coffee.
>Thank you master.
>Then she blushes heavily
>Eh.. i mean, anon
>Then she takes a napkin and starts absent-mindedly wiping her own desk
>She stops when she realizes it and then shoos you from her office
>Not without slipping a "master" again
>Middl-aged Kikimora with small crows feet at the corners of her eyes
>Having given up on becoming an Anon's special meido, or motherhood
>Focuses on her job
>TFW you will never tenderly dick her on her own desk in the office only for her to absent mindedly begin cleaning it
>Her blouse still half opened, letting you see her perspiring cleavage
>TFW instead of berating you for fucking your boss, she just takes one of your hands and puts it on her head
>Her ears flopping ever so slightly at the idea of a Master giving her headpats
Hey! Time for a quick workout!
I wonder if she's able to produce milk to nurture daughters despite her age.
I now have the image of an office kiki sitting at her desk, blushing heavily due to the two damp spots on her shirt caused by a bit too much 'fun time' with Master
But then she's going to have tits the size of her head!
You don't invoke that milk casually Anon.
But she can't use her computer if her tits get in the way, not to mention all the money she'll need to spend on new clothes.
Then again, the latter she may be able to do at home with some thread and needles.
>You will never get swole with buffcubus and /fit/ituar
No pain no gain! Now let's go fuck in the rain!
Good man, nothing makes a Kiki feel special like some after business headpats.
As for the other thing, I'd totally do that to business tanuki.
She's got enough money not to worry about it.
Accept the love of Hoof Pussy Kingdom and you'll get free transportation from wherever you live to their borders.
This includes even the most difficult places like Small Defenseless Village Z and Canada.
I am like 300% sure you are supposed to be dead.
Alright entry, but the emotion is a bit blunted by how little I remember of the previous entry due to the time difference and how short it is. 9/11 it's ok
The way into the heart is through THE STOMACH, NORMAN!
She's a Vampire, so this is relevant to /mgg/. Tell me, what am I in for with Tsukihime?
Depends, what kind of manwhore are we talking about here? A cheap whore who goes with any monster girl with 10 bucks to spare or an classy manwhore who hires himself out to classy Wights and Kitsune?
I'm not sure why I'm asking because I'd love to do both.
It has an anime series.
That artist has some nice stuff.
While I don't care for the show it's from, I'd love this with a Familiar imouto.
No, you are the one who got the doujin wrong. Or didn't read it until the end
She gets raped by MC's douche friend, then by her father, then by random men
>Wanting to be bullied
>Not wanting to be teased and cuddled
I mean I understand people have different tastes, but you could do so much better.
Shut up and eat her out anon.
>Not setting up your own paw rubs massage parlour
Back alley paw rubs are one thing, sure. But nothing will compare to taking a cute hellhound into a softly furnished, candlelit room, and asking her to lie down on a warm towel. Then you come in with your gear, and start asking her how her day was while rubbing in tingly massage oils, softening up those pawpads while she sighs in relaxation.
Wherever they're rich, overworked CEO types or poor unsociable NEETs, they'll be able to forget all their worries and just spend a good couple of hours sighing in pleasure.
Maybe I'll set up some discounts for monthly regulars, as well.
Yeah, unlike me. Dragonslut Anon, ready and willing to do whatever the Dragon lady wants to do. Clawrubs? Wing and Back massages? Hoard polishing? For the graceful Serpentine Dragons, tail coiling and uncoiling therapeutic massages, and for those lovely Jabberwocks, giving all of those tentacles extra loving care. Anons the name, and making dragons happy is my game.
I would rather be chased down by a powerful monster, like a Lilim, with her taunting me the whole time that I can't run from her forever.
When she inevitably catches me and pins me down, I'll be fearing for my life (since I must have done something so horrible to warrant her chasing me down herself), she'll hold me close and cuddle me while teasing me for running from my new wife.
All before carrying me to her castle and ravaging me so ferociously that her whole kingdom knows.
Wow, it's quiet.
Are you all in bed spooning and fingering kitsunes?
I was admiring beautiful brown birds.
I can appreciate that he's a good artist, but those faces always put me off so much. I think its because he goes for an anime style body then tries to make the face semi realistic.
You'll get your wish someday. Maybe.
Remember to check for the three Fs:
Fluff on the covers.
Fluid on the sheets.
And Fu-fu-fu-ing coming from behind you.
Damn, look at those feather textures. Barb's amazing.
Please don't suffer a stroke because of cute foxes.