Hey /int/, is there anyone down in Nha Trang right now? I came here to live and do fuckall for a few months, but I gotta admit it's pretty lonely when you're extremely socially awkward.
So, if there is anyone, would you want to do fuckall together with a 23yr old skinny, awkward faggot? At the very least we could get drunk if you want to.
Yes, I suppose it is a cry for help of sorts, before anyone points it out.
M-maybe just a few m-more bumps will do the j-job...
Eh, who am I kidding. I actually came to 'nam to kill myself. Looking for help or company was never an option.
Is there any streaming website where you won't get taken down for streaming suicide? I'm planning to do it by the end of February, so maybe a few people thrilled to see me die in real-time would gather.
At least making it fun for someone makes it worth it, right?
Oh mane, if you knew me you wouldn't say "don't do it". I'm the kind of trash that knows it has to be eliminated, so I'm practically doing everyone a favor by taking myself out.
Because I didn't have that many options and I didn't want to die where I was born.
See, problem is I'm neither European nor American. Suppose I could've gotten a US touristic visa and traveled around, but then I realized there was no point, really. Besides I'm sure I wouldn't have enough cash to stay afloat for long.
Although I do agree that some trash needs to be removed out of our society but I see that you acknowledge you're trash, that show some good behaviour and we could work out to make you better.
How about some green text, OP?
Well what if I said that to gain the exact reaction you gave me? Pulling this kind of kindness out of people this way is fucking disgusting. See what I'm doing here? It's a never ending perpetual loop of self-hatred.
And I don't really have anything to tell. I'm an infantile, lonely, needy, weak piece of shit who can't enjoy anything and can't force himself to be productive in any way. That's the entire story. So no green text, sorry.
See the description of myself I just gave in this post? If that isn't enough of a reason, then I don't know what is. The paradox is that I could probably love even someone like me, but not myself.
Worse than anything you could've ever imagined. I'm a slav. From Siberia. And I really didn't want to check out back there, I fucking hate that place. Here it feels "right".
Hey, here's a photo for confirming my attention-whore status. It's a few months old, but so what.
>I'm a slav. From Siberia.
damn. the only thing I know about that place is that it was so bad the soviets sent it people there as punishment
well at least you are out of russia now that cold war 2 is starting up
do you ever plan on going back? the future of russia doesn't look bright
I'm only planning to hang myself on a door knob. I don't think that the future of any country should be of any concern to me.
In fact, I'm thinking I should cut one of the main arteries while already having a noose around the neck. That way I won't have a way to stop if I decide to pussy out of it. It should take about a minute to lose consciousness, and after that I'll strangle myself with the weight of my own body. Will have to consider boozing up, just in case.
>I'm only planning to hang myself on a door knob.
no you want gravity to do the work not yourself trying doing the choking, that way is painful
if you must due noose do the chair method
if you can avoid noose do the helium tank
I don't think you should kill yourself
im a tall skinny lanklet like you
I know it sucks being a lanklet but well...
I can't say for certain your future will be better but it could.
I recommend doing some drugs if you don't already do them. no opiates like heroine or meth or any of that addictive shit.
stick try acid and weed
if you can't get those because of no connections go to the pharmacy and pick up some dxm (cough syrup)
Bah, pain doesn't really scare me, I've had so much of it since my previous suicide attempt by jumping I can take considerable amounts of it. The scar on my abdomen is discernible on the photo I posted, that one I got when I was getting my liver sewed up, because it was torn apart due to the fall. I won't even mention the bones. The point is - I tried to die, but unfortunately I was too afraid of pain at the time to choose any other method.
My physical appearance has nothing to do with the desire to commit suicide. You see, I can barely force myself to draw. I should be doing it at least 6 hours a day, but even an hour is something I struggle with. And if I can't make myself do what I want to be doing, then fuck this. I've been struggling for a few years now, with diminishing results.
And on top of not being in control of myself I started to get really lonely. I fucking hate the feeling and I don't want to experience it in any way, shape or form.
Drugs? Oh I had about 20 acid trips and a few grams of weed. Got it through Tor, fuck connections. Maybe I would live for drugs if I could force myself to draw enough to be able to make at least 200 bucks a month off commissions. But since I can't...
And I wouldn't say my supposed future would be any better. The one and only thing I learned well while living is that things never get better, only worse.
I'm never going to meet anyone, at least because I'm a lazy, dumb shithead. There's nothing attractive about that. And I've only been getting less productive throughout the years. You can see the recent results here https://www.furaffinity.net/user/filthym/
I'm fucking done with living.
Oh but I don't forget to look at the bright side - at least I'll get to see the final episode of Gravity Falls before I kick the bucket. Shit's dope and cozy.
>if I could force myself to draw enough to be able to make at least 200 bucks a month off commissions.
living off commissions is every artists dreams but seldom few obtain do to how hard it is
also if your not drawing fetish stuff you are never really gonna get commissions
what do you draw and have you ever got a commission?
>what do you draw
>have you ever got a commission?
Listen, I realize how hard it is. It's not the point. The point is that I'm too weak to make anything work, and I simply can't force myself to stop being weak. I tried.
There is no place for people like me. The weak should perish, and I'll make sure that there's at least one less putrid chucklefuck on this globe.
At this point I got so bummed out I only eat one per 2 days. Do you honestly think I can force myself to get a job, when I've lost even the point of nourishment?
Told you, I came here to die.
A british /int/elligent I had fun with in Cambodia. Met him here, we were in the same city and our hotels were very close. Visited some Angkor Temples with hin and shared a few beers. Ate together drank at KFC.
In a dozen years or even less the face that some could consider attractive would've wasted away either way. What's the point of having it in the first place?
When you know you won't change because you have barely any motivation left to even move, then it certainly is no shame to die.
I think I made this thread in hope that someone would consider actually dragging me out, but luckily that's not something that could happen. There's nothing to drag out, and the dead better stay dead.
The point is to pass your genes on. I am not as attractive as you, and it would be a shame if you don't make use of your good looks. Have you tried anti depressants or meditation? I was under a lot of stress some years ago and frequently cried myself to sleep but meditation helped me a lot.
Passing my genes on? No, no-no-no-no, no. No. Nope. No.
I consider child birth to be a crime worse than murder. Giving conscience to anything should be punished by death. Things existing better not concern them with what they are.
Not really a furry, it'd be simply easier to get commissions among such communities.
But nevertheless, you needn't worry, mein Hans, I'll be dead before this month ends either way. Just promise me that the third Reich will be a thing.
I-I d-don't geddit. But I'm a gringo myself. What's the meaning of this?
Yup, that would've been a nice fantasy to indulge in. Nothing is ever that easy though, I had to learn it the hard way.
Well, I meant that having a consciousness gives you the ability to dwell on what you are. As an actually existing being. It is quite maddening in it's essence.
But as it may be, our consciousness is fake, a mere shadow of self-awareness. Although if that is so I'm not sure there's any way to prove it.
It's good that I won't have to question any of this. These are useless, stupid, time-wasting questions that I can't get out of my head.
I don't care about philosophy. I will give my children happy lives and make sure they contribute to the world. I will die happy knowing that I have helped humanity. Maybe we will agree to disagree.
Also I will repeat my question.
Have you tried anti depressants or meditation? I was under a lot of stress some years ago and frequently cried myself to sleep but meditation helped me a lot.
Knowing I consider myself wrong about everything it's pretty easy to agree on disagreement.
Anti-depressants I haven't tried, no, nor do I care to at this point.
And if you can call LSD induced sitting in silence for hours on end about 2 years ago, then yes, that'd be me meditating. If not, then I haven't tried by-the-book meditation. I'm confident I know what it is, but the only way for me to go with it is to meditate instead of living. I distinctly remember the careful balancing whilst being in the tranquil state devoid of thoughts. It's neither bad nor pleasant.
But I still prefer death to that. Suppose we could agree to disagree on this one as well.
Anyway, I'll repeat my question about streaming services that don't shut down suicide streams - are there any websites of the sort?
If so, please consider linking one to me on [email protected]
I'm falling asleep and will probably wake up to an archived thread, hence the request. Thanks in advance.