Vocaroo Thread

>>54426203

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1ewVYfOynaI

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>>54426870

say that again, you cheeky cunt.

>>54426203
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1Yc76tV8dF8

>>54430018

http://vocaroo.com/i/s02gAlFWPJMN

>>54430299
Thanks for the tips man, here's something in PT:

Guarda estes versos que escrevi chorando,
Como um alívio a minha saudade,
Como um dever do meu amor; e quando
Houver em ti um eco de saudade,
Beija estes versos que escrevi chorando.

ch = sh
nh = ñ in Spanish or gn in Italian
h is mute

>>54426203
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0iAPIeeGOnI

>>54432146
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1MHgPpWxC3t
Jo job.
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1eFLw944Mc4

>>54432146

9.334/10, pretty much flawless. You have a noticeably Slav accent, but that's not a bad thing. The only word that you misspoke abit was "abolished," but we all misspeak sometimes.

>>54426203
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1a9PXc4B2w8
>>54431303
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0FtKcDFlOoW

This thread is slow, post more texts lads

>>54433463
>http://vocaroo.com/i/s1a9PXc4B2w8

Really good, dude.

One thing I'd like to mention to everyone is that, if you'd really like to be nit-picky and perfect, whenever you see Roman numerals I'd recommend actually verbalising the letters. So in this case, "The Thirteenth Amendment, Amendment X-I-I-I...."

Hungarian with a little bit of German:
- Hölderlin ist ihnen unbekannt? - kérdezte dr. K. H. G., miközben a lódögnek a gödröt ásta.
- Ki volt az? - kérdezte a német őr.
- Aki a Hyperion-t írta - magyarázta dr. K. H. G. Nagyon szeretett magyarázni. - A német romantika legnagyobb alakja. És például Heine?
- Kik ezek? - kérdezte az őr.
- Költők - mondta dr. K. H. G. - Schiller nevét sem ismeri?
- De ismerem - mondta a német őr.
- És Rilkét?
- Őt is - mondta a német őr, és paprikavörös lett, és lelőtte dr. K. H. G.-t.

>>54433724
Jesus Christ, you almost killed my brain.

>>54433724
http://vocaroo.com/i/s12727C2kqxe

>>54433150

http://vocaroo.com/i/s0kM3zhNXKo4

Știi procedura , acum mă simt carnea.

In Ukrainian Latin alhabet:
Oskiľky rozum ne spivmirnyj z svitom, vin tiľky zdaten viddaliaty nas vid piznannia svitu. Ce piznannia možlyve naperekir rozumovi, čerez usunennia joho, čerez te, ščo my bezposerednia častyna svitu vsupereč tomu, ščo my rozumni. Zlytysia z svitom u joho bezkonečnosti j vičnosti — oś dijsnyj šliach svitovoho piznannia.

If can — in Ukrainian Cyrillic alhabet:
Ocкiльки poзyм нe cпiвмipний з cвiтoм, вiн тiльки здaтeн вiддaляти нac вiд пiзнaння cвiтy. Цe пiзнaння мoжливe нaпepeкip poзyмoвi, чepeз ycyнeння йoгo, чepeз тe, щo ми бeзпocepeдня чacтинa cвiтy вcyпepeч тoмy, щo ми poзyмнi. Злитиcя з cвiтoм y йoгo бeзкoнeчнocтi й вiчнocтi — ocь дiйcний шлях cвiтoвoгo пiзнaння.

>>54434084
pretty understandable. the dr. K. H. G. is wrong obviously and some minor mistakes, not pronouncing the words őr and legnagyobb properly. But as I said, all in all it's pretty gud. 5/7

Here is mine so you can compare:
http://vocaroo.com/i/s13WHv3QPwKQ

I don't speak German so ignore the first sentence. :D

>>54434361
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0CWl6UDevRs
>>54434390
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0svMj0OEPMX
>>54434534
> But as I said, all in all it's pretty gud. 5/7
That's pretty surprising considering i know basically nothing at all about Hungarian
>http://vocaroo.com/i/s13WHv3QPwKQ
What a nice sounding language. I see that é is pronounced like the portuguese i, and s sounds like sh, and other small things

>>54434706
Pretty good man. Of course it's not ideal, there a lot of mistakes, you can't pronounce sound of "y" (и in Ukrainian, ы in Russian), but that sounds pretty good. I mean. Really cool.

I'm sure you've been learning Czech or Slovakian.

>>54434235

You sound Slavic too desu.

>>54434880
Thanks man
Actually i don't study any eastern european language, i just know how some consonants are supposed to sound because i have a weird fascination with tongue-twisters and learned a bunch in Czech

>>54433724
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0Gat8R0zxvl
I'm sorry man, I broke your language :c

>>54431303
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1FLVb0eRwSd
And sorry again. Why so dead

>>54435386
>http://vocaroo.com/i/s1FLVb0eRwSd
Damn, that's very good. The only major mistake you made was pronouncing the J as RR, it's supposed to sound like the J in Jeep. You have an accent but i r8 it 7.5/10

>Why so dead
Most europeans are asleep i guess

>>54426203
http://vocaroo.com/i/s050uXohQN17

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>>54435549
>i r8 it 7.5/10
best day of my life m8 thank you

>>54434390
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1GK56leem1U

Took the sound of č, š and others out of my ass tbhwy so I don't know if it's right.

>>54435682
Well, almost good.
ž = zh
ś = s'

But that's exciting anyway, you're from Brazil and you're speaking Ukrainian, that's fucking amazing. If you'll repeat this to somebody in Ukraine — he will probably understand you. 6/10 I'd say.

>>54431303
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1GXIXRfT7K0
I'm sorry, I'm certain it sounds like shit

>>54435549
>>54435682
Also, that's amazing how you guys pronounce the "šč" sound, you do it even more correct than Ukrainians do.

>>54426203
>>54426203
http://vocaroo.com/i/s18Xo3Whw5fO
rate m7

>>54435916
r u high?

>>54435819
A lot of your "E"s sounded like "A"s, the "nh" should sound more like a very light "ni" like the spanish ñ and italian gn like the guy who posted the poem said, que should sound more like "ke" instead of "kuh".
Besides that it wasn't so bad, 6/10

>>54435878
That's probably because i learned some Polish pronunciation (tongue-twisters). Grzegorz brzęczyszczykiewicz and all that

Midwest german here, gimme something to read in spanish and ill read it

>>54436023
give me something to read in german

>>54436081
Man wird also ein Volk – in unserer
Lage – dann für bündnisfähig halten,
wenn Regierung und öffentliche Meinung
gleichmäßig fanatisch den Willen zum
Freiheitskampf verkünden und vertreten.

>>54436023
EL CHILENO ES UN ANIMAL CONFLICTIVO, HEREDERO DE UN MESTIZAJE MALIGNO ESE QUE TANTO LOS AVERGUENZA, CON INCLINACIONES A LA TRAICION, EL ROBO, LA PELEA SUCIA Y DESIGUAL, COMO EN TODAS LAS GUERRAS QUE HA PARTICIPADO CON APOYO DE EMPRESAS INGLESAS PARA ROBAR A SUS VECINOS, TREMENDA RAZA DE RATEROS LA CHILENA... NADIE EN EL MUNDO CIVILIZADO QUIERE A UN RATERO, PERO ES COMPRENSIBLE TANTA RABIA CHILENA, SI VIVEN ARRINCONADOS EN UNA RAYA EN EL FIN DEL MUNDO... TAMBIEN SON HOMOSEXUALES SI Y ESTAN OBSESIONANDOS CON LA PENETRACION ANAL POR ESO UNO DE SUS MODISMOS ES (CULIAO CULIAO)

>>54436125
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1L84x62meFZ
How did i do?

>>54436125
http://vocaroo.com/i/s12vTa41Unz8

>>54435936
I am fine, just a little bit drunk.

>>54436163
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1yxeq1QqWtc

>>54436125
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0X0ZOuJqOGI
r8

>>54436240
not bad for a mexican, most latinos I know couldnt locate germany on a map

Request some French or English.

>>54436388
I don't speak Spanish but i know that V is supposed to sound like B, and you don't pronounce H. Also the last word in the text you read it like it was Cualio, but it's Culiao. You seemed to have quite a bit of accent reading that, but it was decent enough i think
Btw, why do you sound so sad?

>>54436442
>not bad for a mexican
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
americano preconceituoso racista do caralho vai morrer de câncer daqui a dois anos e ninguém vai pro seu funeral ixé copixápe catú, imõgatyrõ ygaruçú äèbé Apyabetà oçopár

>>54436545
Team by team, reporters baffled, trumped, tethered, cropped
Look at that low plane, fine, then
Uh-oh, overflow, population, common group
But it'll do, save yourself, serve yourself
World serves its own needs, listen to your heart bleed
Tell me with the Rapture and the reverent in the right, right
You vitriolic, patriotic, slam fight, bright light
Feeling pretty psyched

It's the end of the world as we know it

http://vocaroo.com/i/s0CiKSswXVmc

>>54435591

9.4/10.

In one sense you pronounced the numbers correctly, but when it comes to years like that we say for example "eighteen sixty-five" instead of "one-thousand eight-hundred and sixty-five."

Everything else was fine.

>>54435182
wasn't that bad, but pronouncing s as in English, pls, such an amateur fault. also, őr really bothered me, you made it soudn like ór. but if someone pays attention, it's understandable, kinda. 5/10

>>54436618
v only sounds like b in spain, and ya I knew about the h thing. tfw no gf

>>54436628
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0cCXo0b58ON

It sucks to rate Portuguese as a Portuguese. Because of Brazilian Portuguese there can be so much leeway on pronunciation...
>>54435386
The word "e" is always "ee". We don't have that "beijo" "j" sound you made in Portuguese. We have the French's "j". 6/10
>>54435819
You sound sound like a certain kind of African, and you are... Besides what Brazil said I'll add. "c" is pronounced like s before i and e, and like k everywhere else. So it's "eh-ku". And maybe "eh-koh" if you're Brazillian.

>>54436665
Thanks

>>54436628
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0uXQm4s4mAo

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>>54436628
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0WyillVVjDk
>>54436721
>tfw no gf
I know that feel bro
Also, sorry for casting a Tupi curse on you earlier there, i hope you don't mind dying soon

>>54436689
>such an amateur fault.
I read in Hungarian at first m8.

>>54436734
Sorry, it cut for some reason
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1ZPQtaAUdVo
rate pls

>>54437013
work on ed

>>54435916

Almost native-tier, actually.

Bumping so this doesn't die before I get off work

>>54436125
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0P4jO4f1Jyr

>>54436395
are u 12

Here's a brown lingo for you
Try m80s

Tumhi ek number che faaltu loka aahaat. Kahihi kaama nastaanaa he asle chaale karnyache chhanda (pronounce this word as churn+the) ahet tumhala. Hyatun kahihi nishpanna hot nahi, aani tumhi tumchya rikamya ayushyatle kshan ashech vaayaa ghaalavtaay.

I'm going to suck at some Portuguese don't mind me.
>>54436163
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0ePoXmU741z

Fuck it German as well.
>>54436125
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0d68zvpVzAb

>>54439866
what language is this? Doesn't sound like hindi

>>54439917

You know there's more languages in India than just Hindi.

>>54439969
well no shit, but I was expecting Hindi as I speak it, so I was wondering what language it was

>>54440000

>dem quads

>>54440000
TRIP QUADS HOLY SHIT
>>54439917
Its Marathi. Western India. Uses the same script as Hindi: Devnagari.

http://vocaroo.com/i/s17uB85BjQ5J

Will be back to shitpost properly in an hour or two

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>>54440930

>>54431303
http://vocaroo.com/i/s11ud1XdXtL5

Eu adoro seu idioma

>>54441467
Aww <3 It was pretty good for an anglo! like the usual problems you guys have are mostly absent there. Your r's were good.

The only major mistake was the word "escrevi". You said "es-CREEvee" and it's "es-cre-VEE". You almost made it sound like it's two syllables instead of three.

7.5/10 cute accent

This one goes out to my 3 fans

http://vocaroo.com/i/s0J3c0pCdc0U

Title: "I F5 To Forget"

>>54443101

nice

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http://vocaroo.com/i/s0wSebbB0aq7

rate my American accent, I am not a native citizen (moved here 5 yr ago)

>>54444044
Hahaha

Pretty good. You just sound like an American faking a Texas accent

>>54431303
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1dY2wGPGSlN

>>54426203
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0qQEH6tGrzk

>>54436163
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1vsLVcurvUf

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Well, I reckon one oughta do unto others exactly what has been done unto him, that's what my beloved late grandpappy used to say before he kicked the bucket. Thus I gathered my guns and other useful contraptions and went out to meet that mean son of a bitch Jackson.

Imagine my surprise when I entered the fucker's porch and kicked his door open only to see him having a go at my wife, again. Lord Almighty, I told myself I won't be vengeful. I was to geld that rascal plain and straight, stuff his balls right in his mangy kisser and go about my business. Good Lord, him fucking my wife again was the last straw.

Weeks later I still pondered whether I did the right thing, see. When he and my old Nellie were getting it on, I sorta hid and watched. Seeing the glistening sweat running down my wife's back made my blood curl in a manner less and less familiar these days, since she met that bastard Jackson.

So I started jacking off nice and slow listening to their endeavours. Boy, he was good. Damn good, better than I ever were. I admired his technique and stamina as he fucked my wife, dick still in hand. Did I cum once he came? Hell yes I did.

Now I kind of rue what I did next. I entered the room with my fly still open and threatened to shoot both them rascals if she doesn't blow him right there, before my own eyes. And she did, more than eager to do so.

Did it make me mad? Son, I don't get mad. You won't get by in the prairie if you get mad at things. Now hop off and fetch me Ma, Daddy feels he has to call good mister Jackson right now.

>>54444024
ty

>>54444564
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1hsk9khtmS9

>>54444519
>http://vocaroo.com/i/s1dY2wGPGSlN
bretty good, you sound very spanish lol not really an american accent; the translation was good too naturally. I cba to translate it, I have to sleep

8/10

>>54445104
thanks for the r8

>>54436125
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1L596jUqfn6

pls r8

Also, requesting Chinese, Norwegian, and Dutch!

>>54444564
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1uO3L7XmJQR

Where'd you get the text from?

>>54445351
I wrote it for vocaroo threads

>>54445397
That's kinda weird.

>>54435591
>>54435819
>>54436395
>>54436766
another Moroccan besides me? oooooooooOOOOOO_OOOOOOOoooooooo

>>54426203
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1nwGY9vbE7b
Obligatory english
>>54431303
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1r8S5zp6Sda
Butchered it desu sorry

>>54447098
>stumbled upon "reconstruction"

fucking southerners

>>54447168
I'm actually from the north kek

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>>54447179

>>54426203
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1KjVI0GwmQ1

>>54431303
http://vocaroo.com/i/s01oyS1pQNTh

>>54436163
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0P3N1ziOGtQ

>>54447098
>http://vocaroo.com/i/s1nwGY9vbE7b
I was thinking that you were using a text to speech software with a female voice until you started making errors near the end

>>54426203

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1wzF7hSuBP4
bump

>>54445397

Didn't know you wrote it, Barry. Glad I recorded it now

>>54448956
I'm Janusz

Grzegorz is the other anon

>>54448963

Shit, apologies m8

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>>54449163
too l8 m8 I'm already triggered af

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>>54449194

At the end of the day, does it really matter which one of you cleans my toilet?

>>54449351
I wanted to vocaroo the following to you but I was sure that if I had vocaroo'd it you wouldn't have understood what I was saying because of my shitty pronunciation and my shitty mic, so here it is in written form:

"Nigel Abroad... more like Nigger on a boat
Nigel Abroad... more like Nigger getting a deep throat
Nigel Abroad... more like Nigger fucking a goat
Nigel Abroad... more like Nigger shouldn't have the right to vote
Nigel Abroad... more like Nigger doesn't know how to float... on water
Nigel Abroad... more like Nigger wearing a coat
Nigel Abroad... more like Nigger never in his life has he ever wrote
Nigel Abroad... more like Nigger has never opened his computer's bloc note"

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>>54449388

>more like nigger on a boat

coming from a north african

>>54449457
Ouch... nah I'm just kidding you made me laugh kek

>>54449507

Yours made me giggle too, tbhonest

>>54449457
I just got 360 noscope rekt... rip me in pieces kek

>>54449540
glad I made you laugh too

>>54449457
and btw, the "g" in Nigel is pronounced like the "g" in nigger, right? not like the "g" in "genocide", right? Please tell me I wasn't wrong this whole time, cause if it's the second one then my whole thing wouldn't even make sense

>>54449689
http://vocaroo.com/i/s065VGKNNQhM

>>54439866
http://vocaroo.com/i/s14Kwwz91Owq
>http://vocaroo.com/i/s0ePoXmU741z
Very nice
I like how there's noise of a thousand cars and bikes honking on the background lel

>>54444519
>http://vocaroo.com/i/s1dY2wGPGSlN
Pretty good, you just sounded too Spanish. You should try to use your nose more, and try to "sing" some words (spanish speakers say that we sing when talking, i don't really know how because i'm kinda used to speaking Portuguese, but maybe you that only speak Spanish and English may notice it)
Here's my reading if you want to compare the accents: http://vocaroo.com/i/s0exghqwdh8w
Your translation was very good. Here's how i'd translate it:
Keep these verses that i wrote while crying
As a relief to my saudade
As a duty of my love, and when
There is in you an echo of saudade
Kiss these verses that i wrote while crying

>>54447098
>http://vocaroo.com/i/s1r8S5zp6Sda
At least you tried/10
This ain't Spanish f a m hueahuaehaue

>>54426203
http://vocaroo.com/i/s122lsqACcF2
(sore throat mode)

and now for the fun part:

Próżnoś repliki się spodziewał
Nie dam ci prztyczka ani klapsa.
Nie powiem nawet pies cię jebał,
bo to mezalians byłby dla psa.

>>54449689

"g" as in genocide, lad.

http://vocaroo.com/i/s0C6UwrphaDh

>>54450396
>http://vocaroo.com/i/s122lsqACcF2

very good although I would pronounce "senate" like: http://vocaroo.com/i/s1OD0Lqwp6oT

I believe most Americans would to but don't take it as gospel.

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>>54450495
>In Australian English it is a colloquial term for a male social misfit or a friendless person, originating from the name being unusual in the 1980s and alliterating with "no-friends" (both start with n).[5]

>>54450570

too*

Bugger.

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>>54450588

> Australian

>>54450495

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1j0zWBRBVGa

>>54450396
>http://vocaroo.com/i/s122lsqACcF2
Can't tell if teenager with cracky voice or just a grill
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0Yvpjz1nzDp

Post a Polish tongue twister, i wanna glitch my brain

>>54450588
>>54450658

http://vocaroo.com/i/s0Hqye0QwKrD

>>54450495
FUCK

>>54450701
Król Karol kupił królowej Karolinie korale koloru koralowego

and it's a grill tbch

>>54450701
>Post a Polish tongue twister

Szedł Mojżesz przez morze jak żniwiarz przez zboże, a za nim przez morze cytrzystki szły.
Paluszki cytrzystki nie mogą być duże, gdyż w strunach cytry uwięzłyby.

>>54436125
MUH HERITAGE

>>54450693


http://vocaroo.com/i/s1ILFofBJsNX

>>54450935
too early in the day to drink m'lad

>>54450778
http://vocaroo.com/i/s02CVgDFRSdz

>>54450795
>Szedł Mojżesz przez morze jak żniwiarz przez zboże, a za nim przez morze cytrzystki szły.
http://vocaroo.com/i/s15fM9kp05eo this one was fucking hard
>Paluszki cytrzystki nie mogą być duże, gdyż w strunach cytry uwięzłyby.
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0CjxbDS7ZBA lel this one doesn't even look like a tongue twister, it looks like a normal Polish phrase

>>54450924
r8 >>54439407

>>54450975

Just coffee, tb h

>>54451072
was it spiked, pray tell

Time for some German

eu/äu = oi
ei = ai
sch = š
ch after a,u,o = ch as in Bach or Loch
ch after i = š
ie = i
Ich bin ein Pozzhahnrei. Ihr wollt wissen, was das ist? Nun, lasst mich erklären.

Der normale Hahnrei erhält nur ein Geschenk von seinem schwarzen Stecher: Ein schwarzesKind. Doch der Pozzhahnrei will mehr. Er will drei Geschenke. Wir sind gierige kleine Schlampen.

Doch zuerst dazu, wie ich es tue.

Normalerweise fahre ich in meinem Mercedes zu einer Strassenstudio Kreuzung, wo Schwarze ihre Muskeln trainieren, wo der Schweiss auf ihrer Haut glänzt und die Luft von ihrem Geruch erfüllt ist. Da werde ich schon steif, wenn ich nur dran denke. Manchmal komme ich ein bisschen in meine Hose. Ich steige aus undfragedie Schwarzen, wer von ihnen AIDS hat. Sie wissen dann schon, was kommt. Einer tritt hervor, und wirfahrengemeinsam etwas weiter. Dann hole ich einMesser und steche es in meine Harnröhre und drehe es ein bisschen, wir nennen das den „Aids-Dreher“ in der Hahnrei-Community.

Klar, es tut weh, aber was als nächstes kommt, ist einfach zum Abspritzen geil. Der Schwarze schiebt seinen gewaltigen AIDSverseuchten Schwanz in meine Harnröhre und fickt mich, bis wir beide kommen. So habe ich mir schon 4 verschiedene Arten von AIDS geholt. Das ist das erste Geschenk.

Dann fahren wir nach Hause, wo er meine Frau fickt. Das ist das zweite Geschenk. Sie hat auch schon viele Arten von AIDS. Jedes Mal, wenn sie schwanger wird, schenkt sie mir ein schwarzes Baby, das auch AIDS hat. Das ist das größte Geschenk, zu wissen, dass meineKinder mehr weißeFraueninfizieren werden.

>>54451125

I've never been lucky enough to get free drugs

>>54451186
Can't record this now because I have people with me, but tell me why some words that begins with "s" such as Spitzen are pronounced like Schpitzen and others not?

>>54451301
basically S in front of a hard consonant = š

>>54451360
he asked you why

>>54451186

http://vocaroo.com/i/s0tyN1FiB7eM

top kek to that, lad

>>54451008
>lel this one doesn't even look like a tongue twister
that's 'cause it's just part 2 to the first one.
not bad imo, but there's still room for improvement
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1yUg41tSDNz

>>54451360
>>54451392
Yeah but his answer is fine.

>>54451360
Ok it's different
S at the beginning of a word and in front of either T or P = Š

>>54451301
>>54451392
>>54451424
Fug
well it just is like that

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>>54451417
you sound more native in German than in foken English bruvv

>>54451467
I fucked up quite a bit of that actually

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>>54451504
then drop your ugly southron babble and read this wee bit Scottish y'ken

O Flouer o Scotland,
Whan will we see,
Yer like again,
That focht and dee'd for,
Yer wee bit Hill an Glenn,
An stuid agin him,
Prood Edward's Airmie,
An sent him hamewart,
Tae think again.

The Hills is bare nou,
An Autumn leafs,
Lies thick an still,
Ower land that is tint nou,
That thae sae darlie held,
That stuid agin him,
Prood Edward's Airmie,
An sent him hamewart,
Tae think again.

Thir days is past nou,
An in the past,
Thay mun remain,
But we can aye rise nou,
An be the naition again,
That stuid agin him,
Prood Edward's Airmie,
An sent him hamewart,
Tae think again.

>>54451186
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0V5ZERXiBPF

>>54451419
>http://vocaroo.com/i/s1yUg41tSDNz
Holy shit
Polish seems scary Tbh

>>54451581

I won't let myself drop so low.

>>54451615
you already live on the wrong side of the Chunnel

>>54451657

Have you been to England recently?

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>>54451685
I'm about to visit Newcastle

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>>54451737

Holy shit I've never understood this. People going to places like Newcastle. It gives people a terrible view of what England is actually like. Kinda upsets me a little to know people are form their opinion of England from places like Newcastle. Not even banter or jokes, tb h

>>54451417
Top kek you actually did it
7,5/10 твн
you fucked up on Strassenstudio, the SS here is actually a ß and the A is long
You pronounced Muskeln weird
and the A in Hahnrei is long too

>>54451582
Ayy lmao 4/10
you sound French as fuck

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>>54451837
m'senpai lives in Newcastle

>>54451841

kek ayyyyy. Would you possibly record the pronunciation of "muskeln" for me?

>>54451865

Fair play tb h.

>>54451841
>Ayy lmao 4/10
Oh well, better than nothing
>you sound French as fuck
Lel i speak French and am trying to learn German

>>54426203
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0DkAio5qzl1
There you go friend.

>>54451186
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0dQbeJqpQRY
...

Väliraajahalvaantunut mies ryöstää pankin käyttäen prosteettisia raajojaan joita manipuloi vetonauha lähellä hänen suutaan. Ulkona hän pudottaa tekoraajansa ja poliisi ilmestyy juuri ajoissa nähdäkseen halvaantuneen miehen puhaltavan suunnistuspillliinsä, sitten hän totisesti paskantaa itseensä.

http://vocaroo.com/i/s0tOscQ60a5n

please say Merde

>>54459414
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1S8NxAW1XAG

>>54459414
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1i0erZ7LCD1

>>54459414
http://vocaroo.com/i/s08YJPeRn0O8

>>54452973
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1P6qEIY1Lr2

I challenge you to say this.

Es ist dem Feind gelungen, die Front in breiter Formation zu durchbrechen. Im Süden hat der Gegner Zossen genommen und stößt auf Stahnsdorf vor.Der Feind operiert jetzt am nördlichen Stadtrand zwischen Frohnau und Pankow. Und im Osten ist der Feind bis zur Linie Lichtenberg, Mahlsdorf und Kahrlshorst gelangt.

>>54459624
>>54459830
>>54459566
merci~

>>54460115
here you go nippon san

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1uFEh00LJQh

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Que porra você falou de mim, seu viadinho de merda? Saiba que eu me formei no topo da minha classe do BOPE, e estive involvido em inúmeras operações secretas no Morro do Alemão, e eu tenho mais de 420 mortes confirmadas. Eu sou treinado em táticas de gorila e sou o melhor atirador de toda as forças armadas do Rio de Janeiro. Você não é nada para mim além de outro alvo. Eu vou obliterar sua existência de bosta com cabos de vassoura no rego de modo que você nunca viu nessa terra, lembre-se das minhas palavras viado. Você acha que pode se safar falando merda sequelando comigo pela Internet? Pense de novo, bixa escrota. Enquanto falamos estou contatando minha rede secreta de milícia por todo o Rio de Janeiro e seu IP está sendo rastreado agora mesmo então prepare-se para a tempestade, bostinha. A tempestade que vai devastar o seu muquifo. Você está morto, moleque. Eu posso estar em qualquer lugar, a qualquer hora, e posso te matar em mais de setessentos modos, e isso é apenas com minhas mãos. Não sou apenas extensivamente treinado em combate mano-a-mano, mas tenho acesso ao arsenal inteiro da Batalhão de Operações Especiais e vou usá-lo em sua capacidade máxima para elimitar seu cuzinho miserável da face do continente, seu merdinha. Se você soubesse que retribuição demoníaca o seu comentário "engraçadinho" trairía, talvez você não teria cagado no pau assim. Mas você não sabia, não se segurou, e agora vai pagar o preço, seu retardado. Eu vou cagar rios de fúria em você e você vai se afogar neles. Você está morto, neguinho.

>>54460473
noice one m8

>>54459830

>oh shid

you messed up the double vowels but other than that it was understandable

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Saving this thread and does anyone has something funny and lewd and maybe even fucked up to read? like the things that I post here sometimes?

>>54426203
>http://vocaroo.com/i/s16RAlH6voXi
R8 me you foreign qts

>>54464209
>does anyone has something funny and lewd and maybe even fucked up to read
In English or any language?

>>54464412
English please, so that I can understand and laugh at what I'm reading please

>>54464278
Are you drunk?

>>54464459
One day while Andy was masturbating, Woody got wood. He could no longer help himself! He watched as Andy stroked his juicy kawaii cock. He approached Andy which startled him and make him pee everywhere on the floor and on Woody too. Being drenched in his urine made him harder than ever! Woody: "Andy Senpai! I'm alive and I want to be INSIDE OF YOU." Andy: "Oh Woody Chan! I always knew you were alive! I want to stuff you up my kawaii ass!" Woody grabbed a bunch of flavored live and rubbed it all over is head Woody: "Oh my! It's cherry flavored lube! Cherry is my favorite! Woody then stuffed his head up into Andy's tight ass! The other toys around the room watched intently as Woody shoved his head back and forth into Andy's nice ass, continuously making a squishy wet noise. The other toys also became aroused and they all gathered around Woody and Andy and started to urinate all over them, and then they started to masturbate. Andy: "Oh my goodness, Woody Chan! You are churning my insides up so well! Your nose is stimulating my prostate! OH YES! All the other toys became so aroused by this, that they could not help themselves anymore! They pushed Woody completely inside, and they all went inside. All of them wanted to be inside Andy's nice round ass. Andy: "No wait guys! My ass cannot hold this much! I'm getting so full! All the toys went inside of poor squirming Andy and pretty much, he was beyond full, and died from having his insides completely damaged. The mother came inside and found Andy, dead with a huge ass hemorrhage on his anus, with a HUGE belly full of toys.

>get call from work
>hey man one of the cranes are still down, don't come in tonight
>of course that does mean you're gonna have to work this saturday

baka

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>>54464574
Fuck meeee, it's too long and I can't stay concentrated during long period of times, so after reading just a little bit I start completely fucking up, I even tried and retried several times (and this is why I took so long to reply to you) but I still couldn't do it, fuck me why did I suggest anything to read, I'm such a fucking failure holy fuck, now excuse me as I go fill up my bath tube with my own blood that will come out from my wrist after I cut it with ginormous knife cause a little
razor blade is really not enough for me

>>54466649

woah, dude. calm down, cool and chill. crack another 40, smoke some kill.

>>54464574
>tfw can't read that with emotions because it's too late
Fug, I'm thinking of just recording this tomorrow. Is it fine if there's gonna be literally a 15-16 hours reply delay?

>>54466649
Uh, you know, it's okay, no problem, you don't have be perfect in English

>>54466928
If the thread is still alive by then

>>54466820
Don't worry I was just exaggerating about suiciding and all of that, but my lack of focusing still sucks, it doesn't allow me to do several things, not being able to reading that is only a minor thing without importance compared to the other things that I can't do because of it, but don't worry it's okay, I've gotten used to it kek, it's just that sometimes I have outbursts after holding back so much, but yeah don't worry, now I'm completely fine, all is back to normal, and sorry for telling you my life right now, I don't know why I'm doing it, so anyway don't worry

>>54467342
it doesn't have to do with my English, my English is alright but it's just becuase of this issue: >>54467416 but don't worry about you too, I have gotten completely used to it and I don't even know why I brought it up right now

>>54467416

It's cool man. Everybody needs to talk sometimes. I know what it's like to just get stuff bottled up inside. Cheers bro,

>>54460115

Based Untergang

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>>54467581
thanks a lot man, you always know how to cheer me up even though I should complain less in the future kek, anyway thank you again

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>>54468022

A friendly reminder

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>>54468444
Shut up nigger wearing a coat!

>>54467342
I really do doubt that. So, meh, hopefully I'm not gonna be busy tomorrow that much and there'll be some lewd or just fucked up text as well.
>>54467416
>my lack of focusing still sucks, it doesn't allow me to do several things, not being able to reading that is only a minor thing without importance compared to the other things that I can't do because of it
I feel ya so much, man.

>>54468444
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0OV77qq0oZA

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>>54468894

File: 1453896258929.jpg (36KB, 380x511px) Image search: [Google]

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>>54468894
>>54468705

http://vocaroo.com/i/s0rpi5ItnkcB

Let me ask you guys something. I go through about 1 liter of ketchup per week. How does that compare to your respective countries?

>>54469347
>per week
Do you use it for every single meal you have every day? It usually takes me like 2-3 weeks to get rid off one liter

>>54469347
I never use ketchup Tbh, just pepper and olive oil on almost everything

>>54469347

takes about 3-4 weeks and I use it regularly

>>54469347
>ketchup
no

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>>54469464
>>54469495

3rd world countries can't afford ketchup

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>>54469290
Holy fuck 10/10 Great singer and you're a cool af dude

>>54469420
>Do you use it for every single meal you have every day?

Yes.

>>54469704
you need to pick up some simple but varied recipes tb h

>>54469651
rude, Nigel

>>54469704
Geez, that's kinda gross, mate. Don't you eat salads or just simply vegetables at least sometimes?
>inb4 vegetables with ketchup

>>54469347
I hate ketchup, too sweet

>>54469970

Just being a little cheeky, tb h :DD

>>54469651
Even France banned the use of Ketchup in certain places, I think in schools, because ketchup ruins the original taste of traditional French cuisine

>>54469991

Sometimes I eat carrots with mustard, does that count?

>>54470311
Well, at least not ketchup and I guess mustard is pretty fine, though I personally don't like it at all.

>>54470311
>carrots with mustard
pls be a joke

>>54470311

you're joking.

>>54470311
I love mustard, maybe carrot with mustard is weird or maybe not (I don't really know), but at least it's waaaay better than ketchup with carrot or even ketchup alone

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>>54470525
>>54470603

>>54471756
fucking hell m8

>>54471756
>""mustard""

>>54472018

What just because it doesn't come in a fancy glass jar it's not mustard? Get lost, Frenchie.

>>54471756
That is no mustard.

>>54471756
That looks hella good m80

Carrots are delicious, too bad I'm allergic

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1PSIgg9HkVV

>>54473082

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1aPTF2BLGlc

>>54473368
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0GoZg0kpN7r

>>54471756
holy fuck, you eat that mustard like you eat butter, not a single tear came out of your eye when you were eating it

>>54473368
many people can't eat raw carrots

>>54473681
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1xMnsOE9sxZ

>>54473837

what's wrong with raw carrot?

>>54473738
American mustard is just butter mixed with vegetable oil and "mustard" flavouring and colouring

>>54473738

hmmm... maybe mustard in Morocco tends to be spicier?

>>54473368

lol dude why are you talking so fast, you sound high AF

>>54474019
I don't know
same goes with apples

>>54474019
>People with allergies to carrots typically are also allergic to birch tree pollen, because the proteins in raw carrots are similar to those in birch tree pollen. Cooking destroys those proteins, making carrots safe for most people with carrot allergies to consume.

===* The More You Know

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>>54474443

> carrot and birch allergy

my special snowflake lifestyle lads, LOOOK AT MEEE!!!!!

>>54473953
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0f9pEMjeXqL

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>>54474673
Stop triggering my birch tree PTSD m8 or I'll shoot you

>>54474673
that's some low quality bants
also, stop leaving those goddamn spaces everywhere

>>54474747
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0uvyQlkvxnT

>>54474197
so the taste of mustard without the spiciness, I don't know how to feel about that, I'm used to eat normal mustard that has the taste AND the spiciness, and I don't know if I love mustard (yes because as I said earlier I love mustard) because of its spiciness or its taste or both
>>54474280
yes it's spicey af, my eyes well up with tears and I feel the spiciness going through my nostriles if I take like a big spoon of it, I always eat it with something, not alone and that something has to outweight the amount of mustard, but it's not "Moroccan" mustard, Morocco isn't know to make mustard, it's just mustard that comes from foreign countries and that is sold everywhere here, it comes from somewhere from Europe, maybe France I think, I mean there are Moroccan factories that make it but it's not them that created it, they just remake it the same way that the mustard that comes from Europe is made with the same recipe more or less

sorry for long text

>>54474909
http://www.aaparis.org/meetings.php

>>54474830

> Ed milliband

Bad memories are flooding back.

>>54474882
I'm sorry, but the day I see "high quality" bants from a Finn is the day I take note of your opinion.

>>54474929
I just sounded like I don't like the spiciness of the mustard when replying to the second American guy, but I do like it, just not to the point that it's painful, I like it but moderatly

>>54475020

Do me a favour, next time you have mustard take a look at the bottle and tell me the name/description of it.

>>54474909
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1g8hCU8Atdr

>>54474999

Must hurt to know that even when the snow melts and you can leave your house you'll have nobody to visit but a couple off family members and the girl at the supermarket that sometimes gives you a pity smile.

>>54475121
>you can leave your house
I can but I don't

>>54475115
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1naahEFtd7g

>>54475182

Pathetic.

>>54474361
What
You don't eat raw apple?
You retarded?

>>54475259
Who's drinking alone while browsing a Vietnamese forum dedicated to children's shows?

>>54475281
I eat, but some people can't
>monkey reading comprehension

>>54475349

I don't know tb h.

But tell me, who in their right mind when sober would choose this of all places to sit, read and post? Surely makes you worse than the drunk lad here for giggles and bants

>>54475214
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0aGMFmgXyLS

>>54475407
fug you, you faggot
Go eat some apple
I just had one, btw

>>54475461
Lad I'm sure I spend way less time here than you do
You're in France
Go out and become the next Gordon Ramsay or sth

>>54475617
why do you
Write like
this?

>>54475591


Jesus you sound like a beaner!

>>54475591
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1hbrkG8zDYL
FECKIN' CUNT.

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>>54475782

>Shut in telling someone to get out more

>>54475803
Fucking faggot
It was three different sentences
I didn't want to write them in the same line, so I didn't

>>54426870
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1iJelM8mxw7

>>54476213
There's absolutely nothing to do/experience here

>>54476165
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1LYyhZwLgSW

>>54476198
hahahahha

>>54476254
Okay but just remember
you don't have to be so agressive
you might have a heart attack m8

>>54434880
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0rlcNlTNASH
SLAVA ROSSIYA, SLAVA PUTIN

>>54476326
Maybe that's what makes you such a cunt.

>>54476335
BELGRANO
E
L
G
R
A
N
O

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>>54439866
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0mdB5WaCSmC

>>54445273
http://vocaroo.com/i/s06XnUhQLBD3
http://vocaroo.com/i/s04e0uTIaK6O
Guess what happens when you throw some English folk in a desert island? They lose 30 points of IQ and call themselves 'Straya.

>>54451186
r8 my nazi speak

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>>54476417

>>54476558
shit forgot the link

http://vocaroo.com/i/s0bsWWJFGEch

r8

>>54475109
So I just asked my mother (because it's her who buys mustard and all groceries and everything, and yes I still live with my parents, please don't bully me ;_;), but basically there are several kinds of mustard, not brands, kinds, the most popular kind here in Morocco and the one that I was talking about its spiciness is "Moutarde de Dijon" which is a French kind of mustard (just as I was suspecting earlier), I don't know what's its name is in English and I even went to its French Wikipedia page and in the sides there are no English pages about it so it must have the same name even in English. Usually there is the name of the brand of the mustard written big on the mustard bottle and under it is written its kind, in this case "Moutarde de Dijon".

>>54476417
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1OIJ8YYmTTJ

>>54477066
english also call it that lad. It's pretty good stuff.

You'll find that most Americans will use a sunshine yellow, hyper additive ridden, fake flavouring version called American "mustard".

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>>54477066
is this what you're refering to?

>>54477299

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1UwrDI52Abk

>>54477299

duuuuude!!!!!!! I've been hoping you'd post again for the past 8 months. :DDD

>>54477360
thanks for confirming
>>54477411
yeah but it's not always sold in glass bottles, I've always bought it in plastic bottles, and I've never heard of that "Maille" brand, I don't exactly remember what brands I bought but I'm definitely sure that it's not "Maille", and usually there isn't the word "fine" in "Moutarde de Dijon" I mean me I've never saw it written before and maybe that word doesn't change anything in the mustard but I'm just telling all what I know

>>54451186
http://vocaroo.com/i/s15feyjDBsWb

I know I know I can't do the r

also that's screwed up man

>>54477612
When I say "me" in for example "I bought" I mean "my mom bought"

>>54477500
>>54477567
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0GDZIG07yhX

>>54477778

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1Q0BM4Qns9i

LAS MALVINAS SON ARGENTINAS

ARGENTINA ES BLANCA

>>54478538
could you please post some longer spanish text? my pronunciation is shit and i'd like to practice

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Una vela
es que cerca de mi casa viva una piba
que por 5 magos te chupa la pinga
yo la conozco desde muy pendeja
por eso no me cobra si quiero tocar sus tetas
Ella vive a dos casas de mi puntero
por eso cuando voy a comprar faso la veo
ella me dice: "chico, invítame a fumar que ese es rico"

>>54477778

I'm certain I'll be on here for a long time to come. Whether or not that's a good thing...

You gotta join us for online poker sometime on the weekends. We get like 5 or 6 people from the Vocaroo threads and just drink and chat all night. Good times, unless you've normies friends you spend your weekends with.

>>54478988
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0orVBAZgDAF

Could anyone post some non-meme spanish?

>>54480247
En un lugar de la Mancha, de cuyo nombre no quiero acordarme, no ha mucho tiempo que vivía un hidalgo de los de lanza en astillero, adarga antigua, rocín flaco y galgo corredor. Una olla de algo más vaca que carnero, salpicón las más noches, duelos y quebrantos los sábados, lentejas los viernes, algún palomino de añadidura los domingos, consumían las tres partes de su hacienda. El resto della concluían sayo de velarte, calzas de velludo para las fiestas con sus pantuflos de lo mismo, los días de entre semana se honraba con su vellori de lo más fino. Tenía en su casa una ama que pasaba de los cuarenta, y una sobrina que no llegaba a los veinte, y un mozo de campo y plaza, que así ensillaba el rocín como tomaba la podadera. Frisaba la edad de nuestro hidalgo con los cincuenta años, era de complexión recia, seco de carnes, enjuto de rostro; gran madrugador y amigo de la caza. Quieren decir que tenía el sobrenombre de Quijada o Quesada (que en esto hay alguna diferencia en los autores que deste caso escriben), aunque por conjeturas verosímiles se deja entender que se llama Quijana; pero esto importa poco a nuestro cuento; basta que en la narración dél no se salga un punto de la verdad. Saludos.

I'm trying to learn Russian. I'm still learning the alphabet but I'm having trouble getting used to rolling p's. How long should it take me to get used to it so I can say a word without stuttering like a retard?

>>54480441
wow there are a ton of words in here i don't recognize, maybe i need to play skyrim in spanish or something to improve my medieval vocabulary

http://vocaroo.com/i/s16ExT9tfrwh

>>54478538
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0sllMu3Nd6x

>>54480637
>How long should it take me to get used to it so I can say a word without stuttering like a retard?

As with everybody learning a language it is all down to how much you practice and that is pretty much it.

>>54480247
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1N54CxEDK2j

>>54480643
>http://vocaroo.com/i/s16ExT9tfrwh
Lel wasn't that a little bit too short?
And i don't know Spanish, that spanish bro from earlier will have to rate you

>>54480808
BRASIL É BRANCA

>>54480840

I was mostly just curious about the rolling r's since english doesn't require you to ever learn that. I don't really know what russian words to practice to get good at rolling the r's.

>>54469347
>http://vocaroo.com/i/s0rpi5ItnkcB
>litre of ketchup per week
holy fuccomoli son kill yourself as soon as you get the chance

>>54480247
I tried to say it, but learning Portuguese a little has fucked up my Spanish permanently.

>>54469347
This is not normal amount anywhere... A liter of ketchup should last at least 5-6 months.

>>54469347
>eating ketchup

>>54469347

I love ketchup and eat burgers often and put kethcup on them every time and I probably still wouldn't eat a liter of ketchup every five years.

What the fuck are you doing trying to show the rest of the Americlaps up, nigger

>>54426203
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1L3v9y38yyc
pls rate my English. I accidentally said 1865 instead of 1864 right at the beginning

>>54484271
oh dosh that fucking creepy rough accent, don't pretend to be an american, it sounds disgusting

>>54485340
I have a lisp, maybe that's what sounds disgusting?

>>54485340
who are you and why are you not asking to lick her anus.

>>54485468
Because I wanna lick yours first

>>54485459
i can barely see your anal prolapse splashing, that's the issue just work it out

>>54485558
kek did the sound of saliva in my mouth trigger you so much, anon?

>>54485758
OF COURSE IT DID since it's dripping on my cock, what are you fucking staring at? Just keep on sucking bitch!

>>54484271

Pretty good desu. You sound like a Canadian poster here, you both have slightly Asian accent but it's not a problem. 9.4/10

>>54486544
>9.4/10
oh shiet
I know which poster you're talking, what exactly sounds asian about our accent? thanks, anon

>>54487120
>what exactly sounds asian about our accent

nothing really, I just said that on the chance she would read it and feel self-conscious about it.

>>54487754
It worked.

File: donger.png (749B, 131x79px) Image search: [Google]

749B, 131x79px

>>54487861

File: g42uu4h.gif (970KB, 200x133px) Image search: [Google]

970KB, 200x133px

>>54487754
>>54487861
>>54487922
Sneaky.

Is the bump limit still at 300?

>>54491222

yep.

>>54482449
Let me help you with something simple.
En agosto 12, 1898 los estadounidenses invadieron a Puerto Rico y nos comieron el culo

Gringos cabrones

>>54491653

>>54493216