/brit/

just

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Azusa

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Redpill me on the current turmoil in the markets, FT readers.

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car won't start

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XENIA

How do I buy oil stock?

>>53910620
looks like a fucking caveman wearing makeup

>>53910620
Cara is weird, most of her pics she looks like a man but in some she's fucking fit.

>>53910664
Just buy regular oil and put the stock in it
Sounds weird though, I'd stick to boiling water

just kidding i didnt actually crash my motorbike on the steet aha

yet

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>>53910620

>>53910688
You're a funny man. I like you
*subscribed and donates to your patreon*

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>It's a flashback episode

>>53910672
I love her voice tho.

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>you're wasting your life scratching a meager living making some cunt rich
>nothing you do matters
>you could have studied hard and gone to work for nasa or some shit doing things that actually matter..

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>>53910620
>He thinks Cara in an English rose

Queuing in the bank lads. It's fucking dire.

>>53910751
>meager

Fuck off yank

>>53910751
>wojak grew stubble and got a coffee in two minutes and six seconds >>53910697

>>53910751
http://youtu.be/-kcAgVN1wGo

Reminder to get a fucking UK dictionary for whatever browser you're using.

>>53910818
I don't think it can read. I was just going to get it some vouchers desu.

>>53910751

nothing anyone does ever matters

Just got banned from Homebase.

Someone dick head in a nametag came up to me asking me If I wanted decking but lucky I got the first punch in.

>>53910666
it is

>>53910787
I did this earlier. I hate it when the assistant approaches you and pretty much forces you to cash in a cheque into the little postbox thing. I don't trust it. I want the person behind the desk to cash it in person.

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Kyazz or summit

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>He doesn't do his banking online

>>53910837
Unless you do something great and are remembered for thousands of years. We still remember Egyptian pharos

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What does /brit/ think of my favourite pornstars? :)

>>53910837
except for people like Paul Newman and William F Buckley

redpill me on willies

>>53910921

yeah but ultimately the sun will explode

>be FONT, live normal life, actually improving myself
>for a few days every month I have a massive autism fit where I despise everything
>go from super motivated to apathetic in seconds
>can't even physically bring myself to reply to texts from people I actually like

Who else suffers from this

>>53910944
You are an ultimate degenerate.
To not only watch pornograhy, but to have FAVOURITE pornstars?
You better repent and change your ways

>>53910944
dunno

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>>53910879

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>>53911009
k

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>>53911039

If somebody asked me if I would finger Pupina Stewart I would say yes

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Me with the lads out last weekend.

>>53910974
We'll have a galactic empire by then

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post the waifus lads

the camptown ladies sing this song

>>53911211
>hogs blokes and pakis

>>53911211
rita charli and cara yes

no to grande

dunno who the last one is

>>53911211
>3 coal burners

Who is she and why doesnt she fix her eyebrows?
Why is she famous?
Why do you brits love strange girls and girls that look like the french inbred ding donger of that cathedral in France in that didney cartoon with the gargoyles?
Why did you force dogs into inbreeding to make the down syndrome beerkeg dog called 'bull'dog and make it a national identity?
How can you live with yourself?

>>53911081
Hope none of you lost your heads haha.

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>>53911211

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>>53911211
na la

>>53910982
Me, except those spells last months or years

Doing a voting for the brexit lads

A millionaire, I'm a young money millionaire
Tougher than Nigerian hair
My criteria compared to your career this isn't fair
I'm a venereal disease like a menstrual bleed
Through the pencil and leak on the sheet of the tablet
In my mind 'cause I don't write shit, 'cause I ain't got time
'cause my seconds, minutes, hours go to the all mighty dollar
And the all mighty power of that ch, ch, ch, ch chopper
Sister, brother, son, daughter, father mothafuck a coppa
Got the Maserati dancin' on the bridge pussy poppin'
Tell the coppers hahahaha you can't catch 'em, you can't stop 'em
I go by them goon rules if you can't beat 'em then you pop 'em
You can't man 'em then you mop 'em,
You can't stand 'em then you drop 'em,
You pop 'em 'cause we pop 'em like Orville Redenbacher!!
Motherfucker I'm ill

>>53911250
>you brits
don't lump me in with them, she looks like a bloke to me and not a good one
like a bloke had some gender reassessment surgery that went wrong

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>>53911250

give us some articles liddy laddies

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>>53911250
because they're perfect as is
shes a former supermodel

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>>53911211

>>53911402
She looks like an actress in early 2000s scat porno

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>>53911250
>How can you live with yourself?
Try not to by indulging in escapism

>>53911211
I'm out of the loop, what are their names?

Still getting it

Really wish countries in the world would just put aside the rhetoric and get around the negotiating table.

Like if we just spoke to counties like china and north korea and they said what they are scared about concerning us and we say why we're scared of them and we all just agree to be friends 2bh

>>53910863
All this does is smack of amateurism

>>53911489
top: Cara, Charli XCX
bottom: Rita Ora, Arianna Grande, Daisy Ridley

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breakfast

Daily reminder that it's the blacks that had an advanced civilisation, were gods among men that dragged white men out of the caves and taught them to be civilised people. Then the whites betrayed them, took everything the blacks created for their own, and threw them into the dirt.

>>53911545
You should just buy squeezy cheesy peas and join the rest of us in the 21st century, mate.

I might have been racist recently but I'm not sure

>>53911211
Daisy's teeth don't fit in her mouth and her face looks like the heel of a loaf of bread

>>53911568
Probably best to assume you were, you shitlord.

alarm just rung and i'm thinking about kicking it
i'd better get out of bed because my bills are getting thick and
my job is the power
so let me get in the shower
washing and singing, oops, i've got an hour

>27 years old
>work part time in T K Maxx
>live with parents
Where's that white male privilege I keep hearing about? Still waiting for it

Need charli to suck me off

>>53911545
BRILLIANT

Lads just did an inception

My dream went 3 layers deep wew

>>53911463
why would you know what they even look like you dirty muzzie fuck

I hate my wife lads

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Cara is fit

>>53911771
An inception is where you plant an idea in the persons head. Did you watch the movie?

>>53911795
I'll have her

Who else smacked it to this scene lads?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lJnfIVGsCgg

Hate my wife's son

>>53911771
In my dream last night I was working as a teacher at my old school and I was making my packed lunch for the day. I didn't want the kids to laugh at me so I pulled an old Tesco sandwich packet out of the bin and put my tuna past sandwiches in it so they'd think I got it from Tesco. Then I woke up sweating.

How would you react if your best friend came out as gay? Would you accept him or not? Would you assume he was coming on to you? Would your opinion of him drastically change?

>>53911845
I'd smash his arsehole

>>53911845
I'd shun him from my life forever.

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>>53911845
>friend

>>53911837
you need to put more effort in than that
don't make it the focal point of your post, do something like
>wife's son is making a racket, I hope his dad get's back soon

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Who here is more J U S T than me?

>22 years old
>in first year of uni, failing and probably about to get rusticated or kicked out
>no close friends
>never had a gf
>never had a job
>skinnyfat
>5'10"
>severely depressed
>no plans, aims or ambitions in life
>full of regret

>>53911795
Can I have her?

>>53911837
and I fucking hate you

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>>53911796
This

>>53911882
Are you a virgin?

>>53911845
literally wouldn't care
i'd be more annoyed he'd make such a big deal out of such trivial bollocks
don't have any friends so this'll never happen me anyway haha

>>53911845
I would stop being his friend. Batty boys need to fuck off.

>>53911845
I'd obliterate his bp for being such a woofter haha

>>53911882
>uni
>no "close" friends implying you have other friends
FONT

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this episode sucked hard

>>53911811
No I just had multiple dreams inside my dream

>>53911882
first year doesn't matter you cretin, just don't fail and then not fuck up second year

>>53911885
If you take my wife you have to take my wife's son too

>>53911981
Fine.

>>53911946
>sucked hard

Fuck off Yank

>>53911882
>25
>PhD student (constantly struggling)
>one close friend
>no gf
>5'7"
>extremely paranoid

WHEN I WAS

>>53911845
Happened already but they weren't really that much of a close friend

Nothing changed really and no one particularly cares, he just gets a bit of extra banter for being a bumder

>>53911845
I'd be massively turned on desu

>>53911882
>21 years old
>dropped out of uni before getting kicked out
>had a gf but lost her
>never had a job
>skinny fat
>6'2"
>severely depressed
>no hope or ambition
>full of regret
I'm about the same as you man

is there some way I can stipulate that, in the event of me going mental and losing my mind, I don't want to be put in one of them nursing homes staffed by surly immigrants? I'd rather just die

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>>53912017

Having a cheeky
HA HA

how do I regain my youth lads

all I can think of now is some power hungry delusion about colonising an African country :^(

fucking hate the phrase 'bric-a-brac'

>>53911882
>22
>third year of uni (hate it)
>no friends
>virgin
>skinnyfat
>5'6"
>depression
>anxiety
>literally no idea what I want to do after uni

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>>53911882
>>53912030
>21 years old
>in my final year of university
>down to 6 close friends
>never had a gf
>had one job
>overweight
>5'4"
>mostly just distracting myself from life, always anxious and tired
>hopes are dashed, ambition is dashed
>full of regret

fb.com/StandWithUs/videos/10153434033957689/


fucking lmao

why my libido is so low?

i don't take pills, i'm sad but... i had 3 days without jerk off my dick and today my erections was a shit and i cummed in 1 minute

sorry bad english

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>>53911882
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N4Gf0PbOiuM

Man up cunt

>>53912142
>they just carry on

bants

Gonna take some modafinil lads

Why are lifts in Britain so slow?

t. kraut

>>53912142
> You're nazis! DEATH TO ISRAEL AND JEWS!
>proceeds to pull fire alarms and chuck chairs at the windows
Students, not even once
>>53912153
you're depressed, that kills libido

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>>53912122
>5'6
>5
>'
>6

>>53912214
Nobody wants to go anywhere in Britain very fast.

urgently need a girl or at least a girly looking boy to accomodate my dick on one of their orifices

>>53912234
NO BULLY

>>53912122
>>5'6"
landan

>>53912153
Exercise. Go outside. Stop masturbating.

>his height begins with a 5

>>53911882
>18 yo
>neet
>no gf
>no friends
>virgin
>i'm a bit retard because i can't learn a language
>OCD
>My parents will kick me out of the house
>Probably i will die at my 20 yo

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>>53912234
>>53912268

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>>53912234
OI! this is a no bully zo-
>5'6
>'6

>>53912280
I am 5'4".

>>53912314
post belly

wubalubadubdub

B A N K E R S

>>53912214
crippling health & safety regulations

>>53912328
Why would I do that?

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>>53912329
>reddit and morty

>>53912272
i had 3 days without a wank

>Last hours when getting a blowjob
>Last about 5 minutes if lucky when fucking
How do I reverse this?

>finish work early
>go skiing with the gf
>some girl I've been seeing is there
>doesn't know I have a gf
>tries to kiss me before she goes

Ha ha I'm in the shit lads

>house viewings
FUCK OFF YOU SHITTY LANDLORD AND SELL THIS SHITHOLE PLACE ALREADY REEEEEEE

>Sips will never be your dad

fucks sake

>>53912377
You're right. I'll never enjoy it again

have a fantastic jaw lads

>>53912421
What are there names?

going to have to ask the normies to leave the thread at once, thanks

>>53912423
underage

>>53912420
I desentised my penis over the years by masturbating in a certain way. Id lie on my front and hump/rub against the bed. As a result I now last for as long as I want to because only the very tip of my penis retains the sort of feeling required to ejaculate.

This took about ten years so better get started.

>tfw cursed to be born British
Why does God hate me lads?

>>53912459
request denied

>Get a message from a turbo qt on OkCupid
>High match too, seems like a really nice girl
>She literally in a wheelchair

Wew... should I go for it lads? I feel like she's probably lowering her standards because she's gimped out, I never get messages off grills at all never mind ones as cute as her.

What can I do to make the most out of uni? Never want to be a NEET again

>>53912433
thanks, i will

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>mfw 5'9" and I'm a huge normie with an active sex life and a gf

Tevor Macdonald was a fuckign legend

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ngl this made me laugh

>>53912489
literally yes

>>53912440
Nadia and Melike

>>53912489
Is she dtf

>>53912494
*audience laughs* ahahaha oh shit

>>53912479
I tried doing this a few times when I was younger and it felt good but it took me way too long to cum so I always got bored.

Glad I didn't keep it up.

>>53912489
ableist if you dont m8

>>53912491
Join clubs/societies and force yourself to socialise. Remember to study as well.

>>53912489
Go for it lad

>>53912489
Go for it.

There is absolutely nothing to lose. I dated a girl from Switzerland for years and that's a disability all of its own.

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Got banned from /r/europe again lads.

>>53912489
Make sure you make lots of puns about her disability girls love that sort of cheeky teasing.

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Life may be shit but at least I'm not short lads wahey

>>53912489
she wont feel your penis

>>53912423
Who?

>>53912523
Yeah, all her answers to questions make her seem like a massive slag too
>Wants to have sex after a couple of dates
>Wants their partner to be kinkier than them
>Sex more important to her than love right now
No idea how that would even work desu, don't even know how she's crippled. What if her fanny doesn't work any more?

>>53912489
Tell her that you wheely like her

>literally caring about height
Sure, if you're 5'4" or something then it makes a difference. But thinking that it matters whether you're 5'10 or 6'0? It's LITERALLY a few centimetres. No one notices

>>53912586
Only one way to find out lad

>>53912538
>Join clubs/societies

Yeah definitely will - anything else that will help? Anything that will get the attention of the professors etc?

>>53912557
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nCBASt507WA

making a posh chicken sandwich for lunch lads

how much are subs in subway?

>>53912489
pic

>>53912586
What if she doesn't have a fanny?

>>53912595
I'm 5'4" lad so I am going to moan.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-35370819

No one will care, no sanctions will happen. People will continue to rim a tyrant with no respect for life or freedom because he rides around on a horse topless.

So lads, a magical genie offers to give you a billion pounds BUT you will become 5'4".

Do you accept?

>>53912603
Say yes to everything, don't turn down a night out if you get invited

>>53912643
Yes

>>53912595
height does sort of matter, but it's not the be all and end all 2bh. the guy i know who fucks the most girls who are consistently really good looking is like 5'6.

but yeah, unless you're almost laughably short then it doesn't make that much of a difference.

>>53912643
6'2 here - no I wouldn't do it.

>>53912643
>only lose 2"
'yes'

>>53912643
Yes because I will just become rich.

>>53912643
of course

>>53912643
The church of Scientology man is 5'4 and a billionaire

>>53912586
What if she has trouble wiping her ass and she smells like poo?

>>53912603
Getting the attention of professors isn't that important unless you want to become an academic yourself. Just study thoroughly and make sure you understand everything, if you don't: ask your professor.

>>53912643
lose a foot but yea why not i can literally just buy anything with a billion

>>53912637
>'probably'

how are they allowed to published this?

>>53912636
BUDGEFORD

>>53912643
yes lol

>>53912705
I don't think disableds poo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wVk-Cp4pUAo

>Jackie Chan sings

>>53912645
>>53912706
ok ty lads x

>>53912722
Even if he didn't the Russian government still did approve.

>>53912656
>>53912682
>>53912683
>>53912686
>>53912698
>>53912711
>>53912731

what if your knob shrinks to 4" as well

>>53912767
i'd become a muslim and live in UAE to enjoy my money most while buying instagram girls

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I have fucking NEVER pulled a girl this cute ever before. How can I not fuck this up??

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>>53912767
>shrinks to 4"
y-yeah sh-shrinks haha

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>>53912767
>shrinks

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>>53912767
>shrinks
My dick is smaller than 4".

>>53912705
She poos out her mouth

>>53912782
she's not even that cute the big nosed fuck

>>53912767
mate I would become a fucking head in a jar as long as I was rich

I just want to be rich enough never to have to interact with people ever again

>>53912782
Shit I was gonna message her. Back off fucktard, she's mine

>>53912798
>>53912800
>>53912814
Are your willies really 4 inch erect?

>>53912798
hilarious post

>>53912800
>>53912814
both good posts

>>53912782
Just do it.

There's plenty of girls on the girl tree.

Really the more I deal with you people the more it seems like your problem is less with being unable to approach girls and more with being afraid of rejection. Rejection is normal. The only way not to get rejected is to not try at all. If you approach a hundred girls with a 5% success rate, you will still have shagged 5 girls.

>>53912782
oh i've fucked her t b h

I'm bored, I might go to Nelson's Column. Should I go to Nelson's Column?

>>53912852
Mine is around 3 inches.

>>53912887
ye why not

>>53912903
Crikey

>>53912887
nelson here. looking forward to you visiting my column

>>53912882
>got rejected by a girl once
>became depressed for 2 years straight
>tried killing myself in Belgium
Yeah I don't handle rejection well tbqh.

>>53912887
yes and take pics

>>53912782
>crippleqt

wew

>>53912903
Lost some weight senpai

>>53912887
IT IS NELSON'S WILLY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=txNWTlgRvTA&list=PLU0fM77dNIWtZV9DQCrCP1Lg2vhGYPB12

Why aren't you learning nip with Chino?

>>53912936
>this ones called dead whitey

>>53912944
Too lazy for that.

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>>53912887

>>53912982
It'll make your willy look bigger

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6.7" master race reporting for duty

>tfw no cunt to put my dick in

*opens thread*
ah it seems my aphid farm is operating at maximum efficiency, the overseer will be most pleased
*closes thread*

BREAKING: Crippleqt is deaf as well

Her life seems pretty fucking JUST apart from her being a hottie.

>>53913015
Doesn't matter, I never use the thing.

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Mate, if you don't message her, I will.

>>53913028
post a pic lad

>>53912975
>naming a girl after trousers

baka

>>53913019
>scotland
>wales
>no england

bantre

cold irish

>>53913076
use your eyes you clog wearing cunt

>>53913019
>3.7

>say something unfunny
>wait for 5 minutes and the audience goes 'WOO' 'PRAISE JESUS' and claps

Why are americans so weird?

>>53913019
*moves to korea*

>not having a crippled qt deaf gf who will be totally dependent on you
>not being able to do her up the arse without her knowing
>not being able to say whatever you like to her without her hearing
>not being able to park at the front of the shops

just do it la

>>53912643

yes, money is far more of a turn on for women than being tall

>>53913094
????????????

>>53913019
I need to move to Korea.

Who put the bomp in the bomp buh bomp buh bomp?

>>53913131
>not a qt mute gf

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>rent out my £500,000 one bed apartment in london on air BnB for 1 day
>come back
>it's been converted in to a mosque

ITS NOT FUCKING FAIR

>>53913136
It says England and Wales.

how much does it cost to learn to drive lads

>>53913166
literally did not see that

>>53913133
>marry a gold digger
>she gets ploughed by chads while you're at work

>>53913152
probably the same person who put the ram in the ramalamadingdong

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Alright lads
Computer is stuck on this screen when I boot

How to fix?

>>53913221
>marry
thats not how that works

>>53913160
>be northern
>give birth to 1400 children for the bennies
>they all get raped by pakis

hahahaha wipe out

>>53913179
I can teach you. The cost will be complete and unconditional access to your mouth and boipucci until you pass your test.

>>53913133
Apparently for every inch under the average you are you need $20,000 in assets to make up for that level of unattractiveness.

Facing what consumes you is the only way to be free.

>>53913160
>apartment
fuck off paki

*enters the thread with great aplomb*

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>>53913297
haha alri rasheed xx

Going to get a free eye test and some cheap glasses tomorrow because I'm on the dole lads haha

>>53913327
yes you are

I wish I was a girl lads.

>>53913236
Anyone know? Stuck for ideas.

Send help

>>53913306
Ah yes! Hello my dear fellow! Ha-ha!

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literally wanked to this picture lads haha

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rP9ThXl1hX4

>>53912643
>get a Billion quid
>gain 2 inches
yeah I would accept lol

>>53913236
It may not be recognizing your hard drive. Pop the case and try different SATA and power cables. If that doesn't work you need a new hard drive. First and foremost boot into the BIOS and see if you're computer recognizes it.

>>53913438
Yeah got no idea what any of that means mate

>>53913382
'Quite alright' I answer in my typically sangfroid manner

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>>53913407
Got any more?
>>53913415
>5
>'
>2
>"

>>53913517
ultra turbononse

>>53913517
>tfw I will never experience young love

>>53913482
A-ha! And how is the runt farm faring? Well I presume - or atleast by the looks of things am I right? Ho-ho-ho *holds belly with laughter*

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>>53913412
>ywn cheat of your guido hoooaaaar with a qt red head

>>53913536
She is 43

>>53913517
Nonces OUT, famalam

>>53913478
You're a pleb who'd be better off with an iProduct then.

Except for the girldem you lot stay

>>53913478
>what is google?

Why are little girls so attractive?

>>53913577
>you will never make girls wet by mysteriously intimidating someone with words alone

>>53913565
bad feeling

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>david bowie has been dead for over 5 years
time flies

>>53913567
'What a fine evening' I quip with nonchalant savoir-vivre

Off to Nelson's Column, see you in a bit.

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How do i achieve this look?

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alri

>>53912782
just message her

"u r wheely cute :)"

>>53913691
I think you actually have to be Italian to look like that

Miss Ed Miliband desu

test

>>53913725
maximum hypernonse

wait 'til reddit sees this!

>"Hey Mikey - how's the boy?"
>"What boy's that Tone?"
>"The one you sleep with"

pffffffffffffhahahaha Sopranos GOAT Sopranos GOAT

>>53913407
>an actual trap

>>53913739
>"u r wheely cute :)"

wish I could be a wordsmith

>>53913784
icles

>Michael jackson died a century ago

>>53913517
thailad you on holiday?

If Paul Walker was still alive today he would be the same age that Vin Diesel's character was in the first Fast and the Furious movie.

>>53913914
Is that supposed to be interesting, or...?

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>thanks for the coffee anon!

your response?

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~I DONT KNOW WHY YOU ROLLING A PRIEST. SHADOW DAMAGE CAN MANAGE TO TOP ME. I'M LIKE A NINJA WITH INIVISIBILI-TEE, THEN I'LL T-E-L-E-P-O-R-T~

>>53913933
I didn't buy you any coffee, leave me alone.

>>53913933
Nice purse , Daisy, did your bull buy you that?

If Amy Winehouse was still alive today then she would be the exact same age Keith Allen was when he fathered Lily Allen.

i'm feeling very cosy lads ngl

>>53913933
I'm glad you enjoyed it whilst I sat over here on a different table

>>53913933
hahahaaaaaaaa im so fucking bloated, BITCH hahaha wow *farts* UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH