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You are currently reading a thread in /int/ - International

Thread replies: 375
Thread images: 54
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https://www.fb.com/1634525726764246/videos/1671229669760518/?theater I imagine some of you were like this in school

ones not doing as told - naughty boiz

screaming prefect - anime nonces
>>
First for /ausnz/
>>
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drop him 'enry
>>
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J̵̢̞͙̜̼̳̣̗̠̒̆ͅ ̗͉̻͈ͯͯ̈ͬͧͪ̋U̡̼̩̝͖̤̦ͬ͐͋̐͋ͨ̕ͅ ̼̗̰̥̟͙̝ͯ͗̆ͭ̓̉̊͢͠S̵̱̥̠ͩͦͤ̇̐̊ͭ͝ ̨̲͕̊͑͑ͪ̀T̷͇͖̆͛̃ͤͦ̍
>>
>>53859534

Transcendent
>>
ANNA
>>
Normies out
>>
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J̵̢̞͙̜̼̳̣̗̠̒̆ͅ ̗͉̻͈ͯͯ̈ͬͧͪ̋U̡̼̩̝͖̤̦ͬ͐͋̐͋ͨ̕ͅ ̼̗̰̥̟͙̝ͯ͗̆ͭ̓̉̊͢͠S̵̱̥̠ͩͦͤ̇̐̊ͭ͝ ̨̲͕̊͑͑ͪ̀T̷͇͖̆͛̃ͤͦ̍
>>
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>be casting agent in LA
>need mid 40's man for a role
>want that nostalgia level
>see the mummy on tv
>hmm what about brendan fraser
>google him rather than ask around to see how the general public view brendan fraser
>find jokes mocking his lack of money, loss of attractiveness, loss of money and general misfortune
>check images
>find numerous images obviously photoshopped mocking the same things
>hmm maybe i should get tom cruise instead

JUST
>>
>>53859584
ew
>>
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>>53859599
>mfw found this on the first page when I searched 'Brendan Fraser' on google images
>>
>>53859591
Kek
>>
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>>53859599
>>
Brendan posting is an overrated /tv/ meme that span out of control.
>>
>>53859756
he's a big guy
>>
Pakis welcome
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>>53859756
no it isn't, it's just reality.

This was shot at during Shia leboufs "just do it" video, it's a rare brendan.
>>
dark thoughts have returned lads
>>
>>53859756
/tv/ memes are an anomaly, it's hard to tell if they're natural or forced
>>
>>53859869
Turn on the light
>>
We passed upon the stair
we spoke of was and when
Although I wasn't there
He said I was his friend
Which came as some surprise
I spoke into his eyes
I thought you died alone
A long long time ago

Oh no, not me
I never lost control
You're face to face
With the man who sold the world
>>
burrito is in the oven

having a rare yank treat

20 mins or so
>>
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>commutecucks are tired from their early wake up, and angry from being forced on to a shitty train with smelly muslims
>meanwhile i wake up an put the central heating on

oh commutecucks, only 8 hours to go!
>>
>>53859960
I'm already at work tho senpai, it takes me 15 minutes to drive here.
>>
UNO DOS CUPS
UNO DOS CUPS
>>
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car won't start
>>
Now Pakistan has had a terrorist attack! Is nowhere safe?
>>
Explain this shit:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/100_Greatest_Britons

>literally who in 2nd place
>Princess Diana above Shakespeare, Newton, Darwin, and every monarch in the history of the isles
>Oliver Cromwell, genocidal Puritan, on there at all
>John-fucking-Lennon above Lord Nelson and tons of scientists
>Guy Fawkes, an enemy of the state, is #30
>Margaret Thatcher is above King Arthur and Henry V
>Tony Blair is above Henry V
>Charles Hackens and all sorts of nobodies are above Chaucer
>John Milton, greatest poet in the English language, LITERALLY NOT ON THE LIST
>>
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>>53860030
please come to northern ireland and sell me that thing for £200 quid

i'll make it good again
>>
>>53860068
>Isambard Kingdom Brunel
>literally who
Rasheed
>>
>look at time
>think of triggered americans having to close their eyes and sing the national anthem while eating a burger to get though the minute without a panic attack
>smile
not even a paki haha
>>
>>53860094
Rasheed
>>
>>53860068
>Oliver Cromwell
>genocidal Puritan, on there at all

fenian
>>
>>53860068
Turbo Rasheed
>>
>>53860116
>Rasheed
Rasheed
>>
runescape
>>
>>53860068
Top 100 people lists are always complete nonsense that claim Martin Luther King Jr. was more influental than Alexander and Constantine.
>>
>>53860163
He was though, what the fuck lasting impact did Constantine have?
>>
>>53860163
Amusingly the page itself points out how stupid some of the entries are. It even explains that Isembard whatever got on because some university spammed the poll
>>
>>53860176
You gay?
>>
>>53860183
>Isembard whatever
Rasheed
>>
>>53860147
>>Rasheed
>Rasheed
Rasheed
>>
you are all resheed
>>
>>53860176
Aside from being the first Roman emperor to convert to Christianity, ending the Tetrarchy, and funding the renovation of Byzantion into Constantinople, the most famous city in the Western world for 1000 years, yeah pretty much nothing
Fucking hell
>>
Business idea:

Get rid of all but 25 universities in the UK, and cut overall admissions by about 95%. Pay the other 5% a good salary to attend university instead of charging tuition fees, but make their continued participation at university dependent on their performance. This way, unintelligent plebs will no longer be welcome at uni, and intelligent people will be motivated to actually work towards the pursuit of knowledge.
>>
https://www.fb.com/1470631456552606/videos/1718574861758263/

fucking piggies arrested me today lads lucky me gf was filming
>>
>>53860224
idk judging from what u said sounds like he did a lot and was a good bloke desu
>>
>>53860176
Corrupting Christianity
>>
>>53860236
was expecting a succulent chinese meal guy
>>
>>53860235
Supplement :

Limit all non-stem degrees
>>
>>53860199
I'm working on an MSt in history and I've never heard that name in my life
I mean to be fair it isn't British history
>>
>>53860235
>intelligent people will be motivated to actually work towards the pursuit of knowledge.
They already are, that's why they don't waste 3 years at uni
>>
>>53860236
>yung abo din do nuffin
classic
>>
>>53860264
>The Industrial Revolution isn't British history
Rasheed
>>
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>>53859599
>He hasn't done a film since 2014
>Nothing in the pipeline
>Career genuinely in tatters
>>
>>53859584
STOP POSTING THAT NAME HERE.
>>
I hope Trump becomes president, he doesn't fuck around
>>
@rasheed
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0A2q8tc2wIt
>>
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>>53860068

>Isambard Kingdom Brunel
>literally who

were you dropped as child
>>
>>53860235
t. Eton toff
>>
>>53860350
get a load of this bigot
>>
>>53860262
2bh I think there is a place for non-stem degrees so we'll still have to allow them, just get rid of the obvious shit-tier degrees.

>>53860269
>implying you can do achieve anything worthwhile in our culture without a degree
>>
@rasheed

http://vocaroo.com/i/s11HkBClDImR

me snapping my fingers is actually me flicking a knife btw
>>
>>53860371
I'm state-educated masterrace m8, I just think that universities should be places of learning instead of debauchery. I'm just as opposed to Bullingdon Club shenanigans as I am to unillaaaaaad banter.
>>
Literally nothing better than a milf with a nice bum wearing a tight skirt
>>
>>53860120
he made a fuck off scotland too ya know
>>
Why am I up this early? I'm neet, I can go back to sleep.
>>
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>>53860290
I'm saying my degree isn't in British history, not that Isengard isn't
>>53860366
Where did you hear about him?
>>
Lads it's been 746 days and the ex-gf is still refusing to admit that she made a mistake in dumping me and breaking my heart. Why is this?
>>
>>53860414
i do not like your tone
>>
>>53860423
t. meet who couldn't get into uni
>>
>>53860449
She's got another boyfriend, move on mate
>>
>>53860414
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0IEbjsyYQpo
>>
>>53860262
t. literal autist

Fair enough scrapping journalism, media studies, retailing, tourism and the like, but are you really advocating that we stop teaching things like literature, history and classics?
>>
>>53860380
>implying you need a piece of paper and £30,000 worth of debt to start a career
>>
wish i could get my memory wiped so I could watch red dwarf for the first time again
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>wish i could get my memory wiped so I could watch red dwarf for the first time again
>>
I don't know what to do today. What will it hold?
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>>53860492
slim pickings eh?
>>
>>53860423
People who go to Oxford and Cambridge deserve to fuck around in drinking societies. Most of them will leave university to fundamentally benefit the country
>>
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>>53860474
>>
>>53860454
As a matter of fact I have a first-class BSc and a distinction at MSc, both from Russell Group unis. Soz lad.

>>53860480
>implying you can get any job other than car salesman without the meaningless bit of paper and the debt

Sure, out of every million people who skip uni you might get one Alan Sugar, but the rest of you end up in shit jobs for the rest of your life.

>>53860519
Degenerates do not benefit our country.
>>
>>53860468
Yeah well obviously she pretends she's very happy with her boyfriend, but that's surely untrue. I mean, are we honestly saying that she prefers his macho alpha attitude to my witty banter? Seems unlikely 2bh.
>>
>>53860542
You seem like the sort of intelligent and hard working person with absolutely no personality who's destined for a comfortable and mindless desk job in finance or the civil service
>>
>>53860542
Rorke
>>
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Been yanking loads of big, sticky bogeys out of my nose this morning and wiping them on my brother's jacket.
>>
>>53860608
>yanking
fuck off yank
>>
>>53860542
>Spend 3 years getting a degree in journalism
>Shelf stacker in Aldi

>Spend 3 years as a junior programmer
>Get paid >£20k right from the start
>>
>>53859960
I slept in for an extra hour than usual because I was hungover as fuck. Called the boss to let him know and he didn't mind due to fire drill in the office this morning.
>>
Need me bollocks stamped into red paste off Taylor Swift
>>
If blacks are so annoyed that they don't get awards simply for being black, then why don't they have their own awards ceremony? I'll make one up now. Let's call it something like.....Black Entertainment Tv Awar........wait, that already exists.
I wonder if Jada Pinkett Smith attends every yea.......oh.
So, wait, does this mean she's boycotting an event and trying to degrade race relations even more with phoney outrage and injustice because her husband got overlooked?....
>>
>>53860634
We was slaves won loads of awards a couple of years back, just talentless hacks playing the race card - as if we didn't have enough of that already.
>>
>spending 20 years paying for somewhere to live
I hope you don't do this
>>
>>53860634
she's boycotting it because will smith didn't get a nom...in a year full of good performances.

the only person i'd say who got snubbed was idris elba 2bh. except his movie is a netflix original so i dont know if that gets nominated the same.
>>
Just turned 30. Finally paid off my degree, only 40 more years until I pay off my mortgage unless I die from stress LOL
>>
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>If blacks are so annoyed that they don't get awards simply for being black, then why don't they have their own awards ceremony? I'll make one up now. Let's call it something like.....Black Entertainment Tv Awar........wait, that already exists.
>I wonder if Jada Pinkett Smith attends every yea.......oh.
>So, wait, does this mean she's boycotting an event and trying to degrade race relations even more with phoney outrage and injustice because her husband got overlooked?....
>>
>>53860592
Agree to a certain extent, but at least I'd be bloody effective at my job.

>>53860616
2bh don't shelf-stackers at Aldi make about 20k? Those krauts love to pay a decent wage. But anyway, I'm in favour of aboloshing meme degrees like journalism, and making degrees valuable again so they're actually worth something to employers. It's far more likely that I'd graduate with a degree in economics, and then get a graduate job as a store manager at Aldi, with a 45k salary and a brand new Audi.
>>
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>my parents didn't pay off my student loan for me
>>
im not gay but i really wan no NEED a big willy in my mouth right now

im not gay though
>>
>>53860634
Based Aunt Viv set her straight.

What's the female version of an Uncle Tom?

http://youtu.be/N9eY-kKXBnQ
>>
>>53860698
Yeah, but they do make you work your arse off for that 20k. It's a much tougher job than shelf stacking at Tesco or Asda.
>>
>>53860678
I've been saving for a house for ages now, but the rate at which house prices are increasing is unironically going up at the same level that I'm able to save.
>>
>>53860727
aunt jemima is the equivalent
>>
>>53860671
The alternative being?
>>
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>I'm such a mindless simpleton worm that I watch award ceremonies
>>
>>53860747
thats ironic
>>
>>53860761
spending your entire life paying for it
>>
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>>53860713
>he has a student loan to begin with
>>
>>53860716
Same, I need to taste the very slight sweatiness and piss taste of the bell and or shaft and envelop it in my mouth and cover it in my saliva.

I need to feel it growing in my mouth, a big hot fat meaty COCK.

I need to suck and wank it until my mouth is filled with sticky, salty cum which I gratefully savour and swallow.

Not gay though
>>
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>http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3407915/Muslim-boy-writes-lives-terrorist-house-accident-quizzed-police.html

kek

KEK
>>
>>53860698
>Need to hire a new store manager
>Do I hire the guy who's been working loyally for Aldi the last 3 years, knows the people, knows the work and has a genuine commitment to the company?
>Or do I hire Dave who's shown me a piece of paper saying "I can do economics, me"?
>>
>>53860781
really wanna suck a fat willy and get a facial then fuck the guy in the arse then maybe meet up with him a few days later and let him fuck me in the arse and cum inside me

i am not gay though
>>
>>53860766
Ironic would be more like a no smoking sign on your cigarette break, or meeting the man of your dreams then meeting his beautiful wife.
>>
>>53860781

lood
>>
Atheism stimulates the brain
>>
>>53860773
You're advocating renting? Literally paying someone else's mortgage when you could pay your own?
>>
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>>53860779
>he isn't /rich/
ISHYGDDT. Next thing you lads will be telling me you aren't hereditary peers
>>
is anyone in here even actually rich?
i have 2 investment properties and im not even 21 and guess what?
i havent worked a day in my life. mummy and daddy paid for it all
>>
>>53860821
they earned it
>>
>>53860815
You need to fuck off back to
>>>/r/eddit
>>
>http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3407270/Shocking-moment-journalist-attacked-migrants-Calais-Jungle.html

wew such peaceful refugees, lets give them asylum ASAP!
>>
>>53860804
Yeah me too

Need a giant cock inside my rectum, prodding my prostate and giving me a bone shattering orgasm. Need a man to hold me in his big strong arms as I shake and cum and take his fat load.

Need to gratefully kiss him and gradually fall in love with him and think about him every waking moment of the day.

Like I say though, I'm not gay
>>
>>53860868
your a lot more graphic than i am.. are you sure you arent gay?
>>
>>53860857
someone was molested by a refugee then posted a tweet defending them
>>
http://www.buzzfeed.com/matthewtucker/meet-some-of-the-talented-refugee-children-from-syria#.dlDrNY0le

>Here are like, 5 kids that can play chess and shit.
>Let's allow 10 million people into Europe!
>>
>>53860840
I have two small businesses, one of which I actively run day to day, another of which my brother runs.

Combined net profit last year was 200 grand and i'm 22, not rich either, started them with a bank loan.
>>
>>53860901
good work lad but it sounds more like your one of those hard workers. i was just born with rich parents desu
>>
>>53860881
No I just said I'm not, I just need to fall in love with a man and spend my life with him and have regular sex with him where I'm the bottom
>>
>>53860924
London
>>
>>53860918
Don't begrudge you for that at all desu, hope I can do the same for my kiddos
>>
redpill me on the refugees
I know literally nothing about them, other than they're coming from another country without papers
>>
>>53860924
ooh ok haha i must have misunderstood
>>
>>53860901
Where did you learn about business? I want to start a barbershop but have no idea where to start
>>
>>53860957
They're not all actual refugees, there are pakis, arabs and ISIS members sneaking in pretending to be Syrian
Rather than staying in the first safe country they encounter, as per European law, they are making their way here to bomb London
>>
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>I want to start a barbershop
>>
>>53861003
only pakis do that not athiests

fuck off yank
>>
>>53860901
I don't understand how businesses make money 2bh especially startups
>>
>>53860955
Yeah the liberal obsession with halting inheritances is a bit strange. If someone is rich and their kids are idiots, they won't stay rich very long
>>
>>53860994
what are they seeking refuge from?
>>
>>53861047
Civil war in Syria
>>
>>53860791
That's literally what they do though. Aldi and Lidl have a big push to recruit recent graduates into their management training scheme, and they pay shitloads too. From all accounts it's a pretty miserable life, but a very well remunerated one.
>>
People think I'm weird - but I'm just ahead of the curve.
>>
>>53861032
luck, right time right place mostly
>>
>>53860982
Nowhere, I got advice from my bank about legal stuff but there's not a great deal to learn about running a small business.

Put together a business plan and get down to a bank lad, sounds like a comfy business.
>>
>>53861062
So why are we taking responsibility for something that has nothing do do with us?
>>
literally going to listen to tron legacy's soundtrack and program

fedora me if you dare :P
>>
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>literally going to listen to tron legacy's soundtrack and program
>>
>>53861032
The vast majority of them go under within a year.
>>
>>53861115
because a kid drowned on a beach because his dad wanted better teeth
>>
>>53861128
haha dont hack me lad
>>
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>>53861115
dont you read? oh you probably dont know how to you racist bigot islamaphobe. THESE PEOPLE ARE OPPRESSED AND THEY NEED OUR HELP
>>
>>53861136
>>53861184
shut the hell up and enjoy the damn music d(=.=)d
>>
>>53861203
>d(=.=)d
your headphone is backwards dumb cun t
>>
Britain is literally an island. We are surrounded by ocean. There is absolutely no reason why Britain immigration is out of control, why our public services can't cope etc. Absolutely no reason.
The fact that we do, shows that our government are traitors
>>
nobody even noticed i fedorad that guy 22 seconds after his post. i thought it was a pretty quick response desu
>>
>>53861228
shut the fr*ick uppp .... d(=.=)b
>>
>>53861189
What article is this from?
>>
>>53861232
>aeroplanes don't exist
>>
Genuinely feel bad for Brendan Fraser. He was genuinely incredibly attractive before his divorce
>>
>>53861245
how'd you do that backwards d?
>>
>>53861246
14 heartbreaking photos that will make you say "fuck having borders and law and shit"
>>
>>53861253
haha u forgot no homo
>>
>>53861265
its an upsidedown p
>>
>>53861294
how u get that backwards q?
>>
>>53861304
how u get that upside-down country?
>>
27 years old
Live with parents
Work part time in retail
Have a fiancée
8" penis
3 close friends
>>
>>53861253

>>53861276
Intentional m8, Brendan lust was full homo once upon a time
>>
23 years old
Live with gf
Work full time in software
Have a gf
6.something" penis
2 close friends
>>
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>tfw my e-mail ends in .com
i need to fuck off
>>
>>53861345
URSULA
R
S
U
L
A
>>
>>53861304
i fuck you're mother she give me the backwards q all night long haha
>>
george, george, george of the jungle! watch out for that tree!!!
>>
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>Oxford Union backs motion to remove Cecil Rhodes statue
>>
>>53861328
>27 years old
>Live in studio flat
>Work full time
>Single for 6 years
>5" penis
>0 friends
>>
>>53861328
She's cheating on you lad
>>
arse

http://i.4cdn.org/g/1453252802916.jpg
>>
27 years old
Lives alone in 3 bed house
Work full time as translator
Single
6" penis
10~ close friends
>>
>>53861410
cor, them dumpy looking legs
>>
Remember that you are an Englishman, and have consequently won first prize in the lottery of life.
>>
>>53861421
23 years old* sorry
>>
>>53861384
No one takes the Union seriously
>>
>>53861384
>Students at the Oxford Union voted on Tuesday night to remove the controversial statue of Cecil Rhodes with 245 ayes and 212 noes as part of a wider movement of "decolonisation" of the curriculum at the university.

Translation: Destroy British history.

Why the fuck do we let these niggers dictate to us how we run our country?
>>
>>53861421
Wouldn't it make more sense financially to live in a 1-bed flat?
>>
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-lancashire-35354061

Haha bantaaah
>>
18 years old
Live with parents
NEET
Single
6" penis
0 friends
>>
What the fuck do employers want these days?
I left uni 3 years ago. Been applying for jobs constantly. BASIC salary based jobs, 14k a year shit. Jobs I could literally just walk into. Jobs that I would literally be ideal for. But no one takes me on.
I've been waiting 3 years to get my life on track. All I need is that ONE fucking chance to get in on a salary based job, and my life will finally start to take off, but no one is giving it. It's so fucking frustrating, lads. I just don't know what employers want these days.
>>
*puts hands down your boxers*
hmm
>>
>>53861458
Single bedroom properties are harder to sell on. Normies are all about having offspring.
>>
>>53861502
>He's now scared of writing, using his imagination.
haha yeah yeah sure he is
>>
*sits up from recliner chair*
*looks up at the "No Yanks" sign*
*stretches and nods happily*
>>
>>53861515
You need a BA degree in writing CVs before they even look at your CV and get an Interview Apprenticeship
>>
>>53861515
>I've been waiting 3 years to get my life on track
That's the problem. Everyone else has been working for 3 years already while you were getting drunk and slacking off
>>
>>53861328
22 years old
Live with parents
Failing first year of uni
Never had a gf
7.5" penis
0 close friends
>>
>>53861515
post your cv lad, let's have a look
>>
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Banter
>>
>>53861515
internship lad
>>
>>53861515
>What do employers want these days?

Well what they certainly don't want, ever, is applicants with 3 year gaps in their job histories.
>>
>>53861566
No, what I meant by that is that once I get a full time job I'll be on my way to climbing up ladders, being financially independent etc.
I didn't mean "get my life on track" as in "I've been laying in a gutter"
>>
>>53861591
>once I get a full time job I'll be on my way to climbing up ladders, being financially independent etc.
Then why didn't you get a full time job 3 years ago? You're literally broadcasting your laziness to potential employers
>>
>>53861585
I'm employed. The three years since I graduated I've been stuck in the same minimum wage retail job I've had since I was in uni. I've spent those 3 years applying and trying to get out of that job
>>
>>53861515
Arrogant student thinks he deserves a job

This is why I never hire them.
>>
>>53861585
this. they look and see 3 years of unemployment and laziness. make up something to fill that gap you mong.
>>
>>53861458
>>53861522
this, and its fully paid off anyway waheyyy
>>
>>53861515
Experience. I've got no real qualifications but I've worked since I was 19. Started in a shitty job, worked my way up by actually arriving on time and doing my work - a skill a lot of other young people don't have.
>>
>>53861553
*sneaks up to you as you snooze*
*yanks your trousers down*
>>
>>53861624
>>53861619

>>53861617
>>
>>53861617
what uni lad?
>>
>>53861515
Because your CV Looks like this:

Personal Statement: I am a hardworking individual that is good at teamwork blah blah blah

Hobbies and interests: I like watching the footy and going out with mates.

I'm literally recruiting for my work right now and I throw these CVs in the bin.
>>
*sharpens my scythe*
>>
>>53861619
Sorry, I don't want to work at JD Sports.
>>
>>53861636
*startles at the sound of the word yank*
>>
>>53861665
I don't write hobbies in my cv or "about me"

sounds a bit daft
>>
>>53861694
Made me imagine matey shouting the word yank as he did the aforementioned yanking
Was amusing
>>
Literally any CV I see which mentions having a degree on it, I instantly disregard. I really don't want arrogant student types walking around in my workplace and I doubt anybody else does either. Someone with actual life experience and an ability to work will get hired every single time over some arrogant student waving a piece of paper around.
>>
>"Britain stole wealth from Africa"

But at no point did native Africans attempt to sell any of their wares to westerners.

At not one point did a black African see a diamond and go "m8 this looks expensive maybe I could sell it".

Africans weren't using their resources so how did we steal them?
>>
>>53861665
this lad gets it. need something that makes you stand out as interesting. everyone's got a degree and a history of shitty temporary jobs. what sets you apart from everyone else? if it's nothing then it's into the bin with you.
>>
>>53861718
>Tell kids for decades that if they get a degree they'll get a good job otherwise they'll work in McDonald's
>get mad when kids follow that advice
Fuck off, boomer
>>
>>53861729
Since the dawn of history the Negro has owned the continent of Africa – rich beyond the dream of poet’s fancy, crunching acres of diamonds beneath his bare black feet and yet he never picked one up from the dust until a white man showed to him its glittering light.
His land swarmed with powerful and docile animals, yet he never dreamed a harness, cart, or sled.
A hunter by necessity, he never made an axe, spear, or arrowhead worth preserving beyond the moment of its use. He lived as an ox, content to graze for an hour.
In a land of stone and timber he never sawed a foot of lumber, carved a block, or built a house save of broken sticks and mud.
With league on league of ocean strand and miles of inland seas, for four thousand years he watched their surface ripple under the wind, heard the thunder of the surf on his beach, the howl of the storm over his head, gazed on the dim blue horizon calling him to worlds that lie beyond, and yet he never dreamed a sail.
>>
>>53861743
Typical student right here. Very quick to anger. No thought, no respect. These people have no place in the professional workplace.
>>
>>53861515
I'll get shat on, but go to TSR and use their CV review thing. It's free and they're not the job centre so they only get paid if you give good feedback so it's in their interests to actually help. Unfucked my shit and helped me get my first job after uni
>>
About to try some fried black pudding lads, what should i know about the taste?

here goes nothing
>>
>>53861729
>he fell for the diamond meme

They literally do nothing.
>>
I literally just paid a recruiter £20 to write my CV lads. It gets me jobs too.
>>
>>53861747
Rorke
>>
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>>53861803
holy fuck pork's blood sausage is actually pretty good

MUSLIMS ARE GONNA FREAK
>>
>>53861803
just tastes like a really nice sausage lad, literally nothing strange about it at all

enjoy
>>
>>53861807
but they're ded 'ard lad
>>
>some Muslim guy just followed me on Instagram
Shit
>>
>>53861824
Welcome to the future anon
>>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FiS6a1XE91M

what a dumdum

>>53861811
I got a yank who makes 100k a year to write mine

>>53861837
black pudding tastes like dirt
>>
>>53861837
took a bit of convincing to try it for the first time la, don't mind it at all

still gonna take a bit to get over the fact that it is literally "blood sausage" but i enjoy it
>>
>HOW TO GET A JOB

1. have a good degree
2. have relevant qualifications
3. have relevant experience

WHAT YOUR CV SHOULD LOOK LIKE

>Name
>Details
>Education(don't bother listing all your GCSEs, just maths and english)
>Previous experience
>Relevant qualifications and achievements

make sure it's all tailored and related to the job you're applying for. It ideally should be less than a page long.
>>
>>53861803
Can't really describe the taste but I love it.
>>
>>53861861
Literally me
>>
>>53861855
either your tastebuds are broken, you're a mong, OR you accidentally ate a bag of compost and thought it was black pudding

either way you are completely and utterly wrong and should never, never ever ever post again. Fuck off. Begone from my vicinity.
>>
God said that you should not eat or drink blood. Yet here you are discussing eating blood.
>>
Libtards want us to achieve energy independence using green sources, but they don't like fracking or nuclear and want us to save the coal miners jobs.
>>
>>53861875
The texture is something i can't quite "get" myself

Honestly it just tastes like sausage, but the texture is a whole other something
>>
>>53861904
errr m8 god isn't real like
>>
>>53861861
>Education(don't bother listing all your GCSEs, just maths and english)

On GCSEs specifically, write a numerical list for those above C grade:

1x A*
2x A (inc. Maths)
8x B (inc. English)
1x C
>>
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>black pudding tastes like dirt
>>
>>53861904
Rasheed
>>
>>53861855
confirmed for never having tried a decent black pudding.
also it's not like a big scab, it's mostly normal sausage filling but with some blood in it too
>>
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>>53861904
and not only that

THE BLOOD OF A PIG
>>
You'd be lying if you said I wasn't something that you're in to
>>
>>53861937
Prove it.

>inb4 you can't prove a negative
You issued the statement, evidence it.
>>
>>53861986
> le prove that something doesn't exist 13 year old's first attempt at argument maymay XDDdddd

Blithering runt.
>>
fuck me it's cold
>>
>>53861935
Texture is a bit crumbly, innit.
>>
If you have a degree you should not have a problem getting work, doesn't matter what the degree is in. Places like EDF, Amex, big chainstore head offices, ISPs, etc all need people who can at least think and do more than answer the phone, could be in IT, Marketing, Research, doesn't fucking matter they all have a myriad of weird departments that need people. Find the big boys in your area and send a CV saying you will work for free for a month, then when there use their intranet to look at the jobs that dont get advertised, hang out with HR people making coffee etc. It willpay off eventually but you have to accept very few people get shit handed to them on plate.
>>
http://www.parliament.uk/biographies/lords/lord-dubs/805

Me
>>
>>53862017
Not really, at least this one isn't

It's just sort of...gooey in my mouth, if that makes sense

Not sure if it's just the brand of sausage or just because i didn't fry my slices for that long
>>
>>53862020
Sounds like effort
I'd rather sit here and drink my ISA into oblivion thank you
>>
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Did anyone here not get all A*/As at GCSE? If so what's your excuse?
>>
>>53862020
I've done all of that.
Yet I've seen plebs that used to work in the same retail store I do, literal fucking morons who do nothing all day, walk into the jobs I've applied for.
>>
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How to CV lads
>>
>>53862044
I'm not a genetically blessed intelligent normie
>>
Did anyone here actually fail a GCSE?
>>
>>53862020
>people who can at least think
Big companies don't want people who can think.
>>
>>53862044
I got a B in RE because I only bothered doing half the paper and spent the rest of the exam drawing dinosaurs on the back page

everything else was A*, except for maths in which I got an A.
>>
Is it ever acceptable to hit your gf?

Sometimes she gets so absurdly worried and overdramatic over nothing I want to snap her out of it
>>
>>53862044
No one gives a shit about what GCSEs you did or didn't get.

t. recruiter
>>
If you work really hard you'll be manager of your local Sports Direct in no time.

The Tories reward gumption and dedication :^)
>>
>>53862073
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oo0d1zTAFKA
>>
>>53862089
think you'd be worried if someone got literally shit GCSEs across the board though wouldn't you
>>
Genuinely don't know what my GSCE results are or if I even did them desu
>>
>>53862059
That's a very impressive way of writing "call centre monkey"
>>
>>53862073
she needs to see a psychiatrist
>>
>>53862089
So you'd give someone a job with all E grades over someone with all A* grades?
>>
>>53862119
I'm an ops manager on 28k
>>
>>53862041
Interesting. Maybe it's also because of the geographical difference.
>>
>>53862069
Nah I fucked up AS level though
Still graduated from uni so don't care lmao
>>
>I got a B in RE because I only bothered doing half the paper and spent the rest of the exam drawing dinosaurs on the back page
>>
Thing is, given all the shit that's going on, I can't imagine why anyone would still call themselves muslim.
Like you can still all that shit like not eating pork and oppressing women if you really want but anyone still proudly calling themselves a muslim these days is a suspect afaic
>>
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KANT STUMB TRUMBB :DDD
>>
>>53862135
If someone got Es they wouldn't put it on their CVs.
You're not meant to put your grades on your CV just what GCSEs you attained.

I interview people in their 30s or over. Do you really think I care what grade they got in a test when they were 16?
>>
>thinking GCSE's matter past the age of 18
>>
>>53862135
I wouldn't give anyone who still had GCSE's on their CV a job.
>>
>>53862136
They pay you 28k to be a fucking shift manager?

Congrats m8, that's practically robbery.
>>
>>53862160
nobody cares about yank gutter-politic drivel, fuck off
>>
1. English
2. Cornish
3. Isle of Men
.
.
POWER GAP
.
.
4. Scottish
5. Northern Irish
.
.
Literally feed them to the dogs. The Welsh
>>
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what are some MUST PLAY 3ds games?

I've got pokemon and animal crossing
>>
>>53862178
You probably should do yeah. If I want someone to do a job that involves some light maths, like a cashier, I would like them to have a Maths GCSE.
>>
>worked for the Department of Education
>not only did they want to know my GCSEs and A Levels, they wanted my certificates

Was not expecting it desu
>>
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>>53862197
>nobody cares about yank gutter-politic drivel
>>
>>53862196
That's not what an ops manager does.

I'm underpaid if anything. If I was experience I'd be on 30-35k.
>>
>>53862221
misty would get it straight up the shitter and no mistake
>>
>>53862120

She already is. She's been off her meds for 2 months now and I don't know if its better or worse
>>
>>53862221
fire emblem
>>
>>53862221
Fucking Grow-Up Simulator
>>
>>53862235
>That's not what an ops manager does.

Then your CV is shit because that's how it reads
>>
>>53862178
I got mostly D's but I still list them just without the grade. Technically I still acheived them at GCSE.
>>
>>53862193
You must employ some absolute gobshites then
>>
>>53862271
Anything above an F is a pass
>>
Had an interview for a call centre once.
Literally never been more depressed in my life, and I wasn't even doing anything. Just sitting down next to one of the monkeys listening in on the calls while waiting for the interview.

Walked out of there before they called me in for the interview. Couldn't take it.
>>
I didn't get many A's at GCSE because I was given girls too many D's.

Now I'm a manager at JBB Sports.
>>
>>53862271
fascinating that people who get Ds (no apostrophe on there you fucking slimebait) can even use computers and the internet

how do you get past the captcha?
>>
>>53862290
Some say they only count if C or above.
>>
>>53862292
This is why you're unemployed.
>>
>Not just writing 'X GCSEs between A*-C, including [list of relevant subjects]' in your education section
>>
>>53862271
A D or below means you literally failed lad
>>
>>53862292
I understand that feel
>>
>>53862311
I'm a teacher, la. Just talking about past experiences
>>
>>53862059
>mathematics

what did you get your degree in?
>>
>>53862299
I ask your mum for the answers m8
>>
>>53862290
No, you're thinking of A Levels. Any grade is a passing grade there.

At GCSE only C / 4 and above is a pass.
>>
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>>53862331
>Going to uni
>>
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>Did Maths at University
>200k starting
>Had offers from employers all around the world

It's really easy lads.
>>
>>53862321
I got an F in German and I list that too :^)

No one checks.
>>
>>53862357
yes that's right, regular flat white with 1 sugar
>>
I'm part of the 1%
Didn't even go to school
>>
goodbye runts

*closes the grate*
>>
>>53862069
my mum works for a super rich guy, he paid for his wife's sister's daughter to go to university, she failed her degree, and he paid for her son to go to private school, and he failed all his GCSEs except one.

Still makes me kek to this day.
>>
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>Not being phoned up by companies and asked if you want to come and work for them because you're name is out there as one of the best in your field in your area.
>>
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Last time I wrote a CV it was packed with lies. Fake GCSE and A Level grades, fake degree, fake experience, fake references.

All you plebs working hard, paying thousands for a piece of paper, working hard to climb that career ladder and I just leapfrogged you.

How does that feel?
>>
>>53862417
This
>implying employers have time to fact check your cv
>>
>falling for the work hard at school, university at a job all your life meme
>>
>mfw our opposition linked a buzzfeed article and literally said "I cannot fathom that in 2016"

feels good knowing he's going to get btfo when labor gets their shit together
>>
>>53862417
This desu.

My Business and Psychology degree is completely fake.
>>
>>53862469
>falling straight into the runtfarm
>>
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I got a 2:1 in classics and now I'm mayor of London
>>
my gf

http://i.4cdn.org/r9k/1453275598247.jpg
>>
>>53862474
The [current year] argument is so stupid.
It's only been 2016 for a few weeks. That means they've only been enlightened and progressive for a few weeks.
Just a month ago these liberals were just bigoted fascists that were stuck in the dark days
>>
>poor fags will never discuss with their Dads profiting from the unrest in Europe and Africa aboard their 3 story yacht
>poor fags will be handed their crummy little inheritance and consider themselves "rich"
>poorfags have literally never dined with Princes and Princesses
>poorfags don't have a 300 year old book written about their family

Always have a good laugh when someone teases someone else for being poor -- pathetic really
>>
>>53862417
I put womens studies on my CV to look progressive
>>
>>53862417
Same here senpai, my nuculear safety technician qualifications were just made up on the spot
>>
>>53862486
Yeah all psychology degrees are
Waheyyyyyyyy
>>
>>53862456
They check, just very minimally.
>A Levels and GCSEs
No way the majority of employers check these, lie away lads
>Degree
Tricky and depends on the employer. Some check every applicant, some will check none, some will check if you haven't got much experience. Definitely worth lying about though.
>Previous experience
Very easy to fake. Just get a mate to be your reference and take a call from them. They will generally only call whoever you put down as a reference from your last employer
>>
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I got 2 E's at A-Level and now I'm leader of the opposition.

>going to university
>>
>>53862526
Always amuses me to see people literally on benefits looking down on others
>>
got a U in IT and i work as a server admin

:hahaha:
>>
>>53862523
hnnngggg
>>
got a (You) in /brit/ and i work as a janitor

:dies of malnourishment:
>>
Everyone post your yacht ITT

Not your dad's yacht. YOUR yacht
>>
You don't need qualifications to hang out and have a good time on /brit/

:^)
>>
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Here's a tip lads, if you lie about having a degree on your CV, put down a foreign one. There's a database of graduates that employers can access but it's only for British universities.

Even better, say you studied in a country where, during office hours, it would be unfeasible to call up to check your degree. Somewhere in Australia or Asia.

t. CV liar and """graduate""" of the University of Newcastle in Australia
>>
>>53862591
Who is on benefits?
>>
doin a fluid cleanse
>>
>tfw I'll inherit an extensive property portfolio

not bad knowing my future is financially secure desu. Just a shame my life is shit atm.
>>
>>53862628
I would post dads but people might recognise me haha
>>
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>>53862654
>University of Newcastle in Australia

you could literally pick any and you picked uon lmaoing at your shitty fake degree ahaha not even the gong family
>>
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Lads what's the most money you've ever wasted?

I spent £120 last friday alone and I want to feel less bad about it.
>>
>complaining about jobs
>he doesn't apply for jobs in Dubai
As long as you have any kind of work experience, you can get a management job in Dubai simply for being white, male and British. They specifically look for it. I know Dubai is a bit depressing (soulless fake city built on a desert), but you'll make hella cash
>>
Also my gf

http://i.4cdn.org/hr/1452754263531.jpg
>>
>>53862705
£300 on computer parts that were faulty

was too lazy to return within time limit
>>
>>53862699
Gotta make the lie believable lad, you'd be applying to fairly shit-tier companies that won't check and also won't be expecting graduates with excellent degrees.
>>
>>53862720
cor
>>
>tfw dropped out of uni but a soon to be millionaire due to inheritance
>>
>>53862772
Heeb
>>
>>53862705

£150 at s strip club probably
>>
>>53862710
Wouldn't you get executed for being a kafir?
>>
>tfw have had a decent job for 6 years and would've been able to buy a house on my own but inheritance meant I could go travelling as well
Thanks nan
>>
> enjoying a particularly intense round of my favourite multiplayer game
> mum decides to heat up my tendies using the microwave
> it cuts the wifi off and I disconnect from the game
REEEEEEEEEE MUMMY YOU'RE GOING TO GET IT ONE OF THESE DAYS YOU STUPID SLUT
>>
>>53862705
Over a grand on a single night out in Ibiza, clubbing then strip club after
>>
>>53862800
That's Qatar.
They even celebrate Christmas in Dubai mate
>>
>>53862654
Good tip cheers
>>
>>53862710
this is a lie
>>
Jun desu hahaha
>>
>he will never have African countries overthrown on a whim
>he will literally never have a literal spy work for him
>he will never know particular things regarding particular leaders of a particular country
>he will never be revered in a particular African village for literally rebuilding it to such an extent that it actually now turns over a profit
>>
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>>53862654
aren't you scared of getting in trouble?
>>
>>53862980
I'm not talking fucking CEO or whatever. But you can literally walk into a management job. They train you on the spot.
My best mate has lived there for years
>>
>>53862997
What's your family name?
>>
>>53863028
yeah sure how much does your 'mate' make then?
>>
>>53862997
Don't care about any of that. All I want to do is own a home and raise a family.
Not all of us are power hungry egomaniacs.
>>
>>53863047
No can do, unfortunately people might recognise me.
>>
>>53863056
1 billion squillion pounds
>>
>>53862997
>he will never stop overusing the word "partricular"
>>
>>53863071
FONT
>>
>>53320987
Everyone knows that you retard
>>
Anyone got that pic of those 2 lads in the bathroom with a traffic cone?
>>
>>53863056
I don't ask him his personal financial stuff. All I know is he works in some financial company and lives a really good life. Never had an ounce of business/financial experience. He studied fucki geography
>>
new

>>53863159

>>53863159

>>53863159
>>
>he will never literally get in a fist fight with the son of an African leader for being a socialist
>he will never randomly play as an extra in random movies for the fuck of it
>he will never the car of a Lebanese mayor literally filled to the brim with hair gel for being a over zealous fool
>he will never fund a team of Ex-Mil's to help clean up and install order in disaster ravaged African regions
Thread replies: 375
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