/Afr/ican general / Afrika algemeen

good morning

>>53809338
How old are your maids?

>>53809338
Do you fuck your maids?

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>>53809666
nee, maar ek fok jou ma

groete

ooga booga bix nood

>>53809654
36 and 555
>>53809666
no
>>53809693
sup homie

>>53809722
t. Joachim Mohammed

>>53809750
>36 and 555
55*

>>53809750
>no
Why not?

>>53809750
we won my friend >>53807523

>>53809784
Because he is racist

>>53809784
cause they arent blonde or skinny or twinkish

>>53809839
lol beat them at their own game.

Are your maids wise-cracking comedians like in sitcoms?

>>53809846
africans cant be racist. we are tribalists thank you very much

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>>53809875
we always win
>>53809889
shannon noll

>>53809948
My highschool librarian was an argentine. She looked slavic but had a phat ass.

Do any of you have oral histories passed down from your families? If so, what kind of stories?

>>53809987
my favorite croc wrestler was australian. he tried to move on to mantarays but got stung and died leaving his wife and two kids behind. such a sad story bru

south africa is gonna explode soon

>>53810058
we all are

>>53810058
am i not lekker in the head if i want to do helen zille

>>53810038
lots about the boer wars. my great great grand father was captured and condemed to death by the british. he was a cape boer and thus seen as a traitor(was commuted though).

>>53810038
What do you mean by histories?

>>53810108
Tales, legends, etc. passed down from generation to generation by word of mouth.

>>53810092
>>53810108
place your bets friends. is>>53810128 chinese or indian and does he work at a takeway

>>53810128
Well i kind of have an anecdote.

When oromos(an ethnicity in ethiopia) were tribal, there was a "tradition" where young men would go out and kill people, chop of the victims tits or cock and then present it to a woman he fancies.


When my grandfather(on my mother's side) was a baby, his mother was a victim of this..."tradition". It happened when she was even holding him on her back.

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>>53810234

>>53810154
South korean business student who works partime at a sushi bar.

>>53810340
why are ethiopians so stupid compared to somalians?

>>53810443
Why are boers so down syndromy conpared to dutchish ppl?

>>53810443
>>53810497
tribal scum

>>53810497
we even have a saying here when some one is being very lazy.
>dont be so ethiopian.

>>53810538
LOL. Idk.

Do you have any examples? The main feature I notice in ethiopians here is this obnoxious snobbyness.

>>53810602
not really, just made that shit up to annoy you :D

>>53810536
gaan kak broer :D

>>53810636
Oh thank god. Because I am extremely lazy.

If there is one thing tho. Africans are really awful with arriving on time to things. My maths teacher told me that. Made me chuckle because my brothers and dad are exactly like that.

>>53810683
>Poor punctuality is such a brake on Ivory Coast's economic development that the West African country has come up with a novel way to combat tardiness: win a house if you demonstrate you can turn up on time.

Backed by President Laurent Gbagbo and devised by a local public relations firm, "Punctuality Night" kicked off at eight o'clock sharp Saturday night, rewarding business people and civil servants for exceptional timekeeping.

Pitched with the slogan "'African time' is killing Africa, let's fight it," its organizers hope to heighten awareness of how missed appointments, meetings or even late buses cut productivity in a region where languid tardiness is the norm.

Legal adviser Narcisse Aka, winner of what the organizers hope will be an annual event, is so unusually good at being punctual that his colleagues call him "Mr White Man's Time."

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>>53810757
>Mr. White man's time

meh only eggs toast and sausage for breakfast...

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>>53811047
que bien se come aca

>>53811171
breakfast is not breakfast without bacon

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Anyone here remember when SAL weren't a shit airline?

>>53811655
ofc

>>53811655
That... was a long time ago.

>>53811858
18 years, 8 months, 22 days ago

>>53811858
wat weet jy van dana baai?

>>53810055
The first and last Ray Wrestler

RIP STEVE

Good fucking God itS so humid that I'm almost breathing water

>>53814585
You can't breath water you pathetic mammal

What is the best African country and why is it Gabon ?

(Not even a nig nog/mudshit)

>>53815138
Did you mean Namibia?

>>53815138
Liberia

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>>53815138
Djibouti imo. N-next Dubai :DDDD
http://mgafrica.com/article/2015-05-24-horn-of-africas-djibouti-dreams-of-becoming-new-dubai

I'm really thinking about dropping my Somaliland nationality and switiching to Djiboutian. They are Somali like us anyways

>>53815138
South-West Africa 2bh

>>53815138
the republic of cape town.

>>53815750
How stable is it?

>>53815750
>Djibouti
my grandfather was stationed there during wwii

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>>53815955
It's quite stable, no terror shit going on. Also the people aren't bigots since they allow a bunch of churches to be constructed. It's pretty much landlocked Ethiopia's port. A lot of Ethiopia's goods come through Djibouti which earns them quite a lot of monies. There are many military bases there, like American ones, Japenese, French and now Chinese. I just hope the horny soldiers don't fuck the Somali Djiboutians though
:(

>>53816081
What happened there? Thought the Nazis only were at the north part of the continent.

>>53816160
airforce base

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>taking off shoes and socks after a 9 hour shift

>>53816555
Where do you work at?

>>53817142
Retail

>>53817142
How autistic are Danes compared to other scandis? Do they do that staring thing?

>>53817403
>Do they do that staring thing?
What's that?

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>>53817243
Nice. I used to work at retail back when I was 16-18. I had to dress as pic related sometimes and greet the costumers at the entrance to the store (Bilka - Danish version of Wal Mart). It was hot, smelt like sweat, the airconditioner inside made you feel sick and I had to wear it for 2 hours. I also worked at the cash register. Man those were some fun days... :')

>>53817420
Swedes stare at people alot. Apparently

>>53817452
Never heard of that. Never experienced it here.

How is the end of apartheid treating you?

>>53817403
I think Danes are quite normal compared to Swedes. But it's hard to make friends here imo. You make your friends at school, work or whatever local sport clubs, but outside of that and you are probably screwed. You can only really make stranger friends if you both are drunk.

>>53817513
>You make your friends at school, work or whatever local sport clubs, but outside of that and you are probably screwed.
Only ever talk to strangers if they ask about something, like directions. I don't think it's any easier to just make friends in Sweden or Norway.

Do you agree Danish is a tad bit silly?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s-mOy8VUEBk

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>>53817672
Not at all. Norwegian is alright. The Caliphate of Sweden needs to get its shit together though.

>>53817656
Yea you are right about that.

>>53817502
we wuz kangs and shit.
nothing has changed cept now we dont have a functioning government. and you have to pay for private school security and medical. apart from that life is the same.

>>53817656
here everyone talks to everyone. stranger or not. if you stand in a que people just chit chat.

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>>53817963
>if you stand in a que people just chit chat.
I was on the bus yesterday from uni and there were a couple of girls talking and laughing loudly in the back. I'm sure I wasn't the only one slightly annoyed.

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>>53817963
Same here. And they still talk to you no matter how unwelcoming you make your body language. fucking normies

>>53818007
black people here talk very loudly to each other. talking in a normal voice is considered rude and a sign that you are gossiping.

It's my birthday!

>>53818099
What if you don't say anything?

>>53818110
Tillykke, din kriminelle undermåler.

>>53818133
>What if you don't say anything?
that would also be rude

Sup my negroes

>>53818110
ke lakaletsa go mohlogonolo ka letsatsi la motswalo la gago/happy bday criminal.

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>>53817963
>This triggers the Scandi

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>>53818133

>>53818110
Aid millad said AussBro

>>53818363
>>53818345
>>53818133
cheers lads

How do we get Togo in here?

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>>53818349
>sit on the bus at the window seat
>know the bus isn't completely full and there's more seats towards the back
>bus stops and people come on board
>glance at who's coming in
>accidentally look a woman in the eyes
>look out the window
>she sits down next to you
For helvede altså..

>>53818350
It's well meant.

>>53818110
joyeux anniversaire

>>53818305
Hello Morocco.

>>53818110
Tilykke ^^ :D :j

>>53818506
>>53818477
thanks lads

>>53818506
Hello Denmark!

>>53818552
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Philippe_Servaty

>>53818580
a true national hero

>>53818580
the absolute MADMAN

>>53818654
even if we kinda share the same language i could never stand belgians.

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>>53818468
>Sit on the bus
>Bus is full so I sit next to this man
>Bus stop, people getting off
>More free seats
>Don't know if I should change seats or not but I don't want to be seen as rude
>Keep sitting next to this man even though the seat right next to him is free
>Almost all seats are free now and I still sit next to him
>Sit next to him for 25 minutes

Was I in the wrong? Should I have changed seats? Even though this shit happened 5 years ago I'm still bugged by it. To this day I feel insecure in buses/trains because of it :'(

>>53818767
I'd have done the same. Once you sit down and it's next to someone else, you're locked in until either that person has to get off or you do.

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>>53818580
>He may face charges for making anti-Islamic statements, a crime under Belgian and European Union laws

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>>53818468
>>53818767
Is being within 10cm of someone so devastating?

>>53815138
zimbabwe
somalia
south sudan

haha just kidding

>>53818767
I handle these situations by standing up and walking to the driver and asking him something like "does this bus stop at [my stop]?". after that I just sit down to the closest seat.

>>53818767
i would get up and move if there is a space where i dont have to sit next to someone.

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>>53818908
Generally, yes. Even if it's a cute grill.

>>53818933
>talking to the bus driver

>>53818908
>within 10cm
10cm is what I would almost consider out of bounds for family members

>>53818979
bus drivers are npc's, nothing social about talking to them

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>>53818933
>>53818974
>>53818979
>>53818993
>>53819036

>>53818767
REEEE wrong, I meant enter the bus, not sit >_<

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>>53819036
>bus drivers are npc's, nothing social about talking to them

>>53819067
We can't all yell cunt, have daily barbeques, smash abbos, and wear shorts and tank-tops

>>53819076
even in south africa we allow somalis to sit inside the bus

>>53819149
i've seen like 2 abbos in my entire life.

>>53819245
that's not including the mixed ones.

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>>53818908
Yea actually

>>53818855
>>53818974

I usually just change seat in such situations now, but I feel like a major asshole and I will stress about what the person thinks about me

>>53818933
Sounds way more autistic anon

>>53819163
Now you just make me insecure. Is my English that bad :(

I meant enter the bus, then sit next to the man.

>>53819447
You didn't even need to correct it in the first place.

>>53819509
Shhh go watch your anime

>>53819659
I don't like anime.

>>53819659
>Somalier
>flag
How are the crack deals going, Nigger Boy ?

>>53819751
why dont you go back to pol?

>>53819751
Quite bad.
Tyrone didn't show up with the drugs and now the prostitutes we are trying to smuggle to Sweden won't shut up about being abducted. We may or may not have to knock them out ourselves :(
How was your day?

>>53819964
lol fucking amateur. Remove their tongues.

Anyone here ever listened to the disintegration loops?

>>53820309
Nope. Post source plox

>>53820620
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qYOr8TlnqsY

sounds comfy. I'm gonna listen to it while I fall asleep.

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hey guys

>>53820668
Sounds sad

>>53820699
Hello there Australia. Still sad?

>>53820699
can i have your passport when you die?

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>the only white people itt are the ones actually living in africa

>>53821395
thats why its called /african/ and not /black/

Why can't I find a friend?

>>53812016
>dis altyd fokken mistig
>dis ver van die dorp af
>daars baie vlooie/bosluise/slange
>die oumense daar moan baie
>daar is net een ingang na die plek en dis by die kakste deel van die kafferlokasie
>ek weet nie of nogsteeds nie, maar hulle het baie daar ingebreuk en daar was al moorde
>jy verdwaal in jou moer in want die strate is nie logies uitgelê nie
>hippies wat jou kak gee as jy slange doodmaak
>hippies wat jou kak gee as jy die bouperseel skoonmaak en iets """""inheems""""" uithaal

Nooit gedink ek sal 'n greentext van danabaai maak nie

>>53823418
ah wou weet hoekom die huise so cheap is daar

>>53822301
I'm your friend :)

>>53824414
That actually made me smile

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>>53824124
Ja daar is baie ou mense wat daar aftree, en baie mense wat plekke daar koop om by die see te wees, maar die see daar is nie lekker nie. Jy kan gladnie by die strande daar swem nie want jy sal versuip, maak nie saak hoe goed jy swem nie jy kan nie teen daai strome swem nie, Danabaai front die oop see, dis hoekom dit so baie mis en wind ook kry. Daar is ook nie 'n polisie stasie nie, hulle is afhanklik van die een in die lokasie, wat net swart is.

Jy kan maar vir jouself besluit, daar is mense wat mal is daaroor, ek sou eerder kyk vir 'n plek in die dorp of anders hartenbos.

>>53824964
yeah ek sal in alle geval eers huur daar en dan maar stadig die plekke uit kyk.
is heiderand deel van die lokasie? lyk soos ons kleurling woongebied

>>53825142
Dit was toe dit gebou was, so vroeë 1990's 'n netjies wit area tot so in die begin 2000 toe hulle begin intrek het, nou lyk dit al soos 'n lokasie op dele, ek sal maar liewers dit vermy. Daar is goeie dele en dan is daar erg kak dele. Die beste sal maar wees soos jy sê bly eers hier en ry deur die buurte. Hartenbos is 'n goeie wit plek as jy nie omgee om bietjie uit die dorp uit te wees nie, die plekke meer george se kant toe is ook netjies, maar dit is nou weer heelwat verder uit, die dorp area self is die beste.

>>53826364
Are you still suicidal and unhappy my friend?

>>53826428
Yeah

>>53826690
Did you leave your house today?

>>53809850
My kind of man!

Also maids are only there because they're dirt cheap (I used to pay mine back home R130 for a nine hour work day, which is less than $10.

>>53815857
Also my kind of man! Seriously though Cape Town, for the most part anyway, is a shining example of what the whole of Africa could be like if everyone could get over themselves and their fake oppression.

>>53817920
This I also agree with.

>>53818099
This was my absolute fucking biggest issue with public transport in Cape Town. Like be lively and happy, but Jesus if you're sitting next to each other there is no need to shout.

>>53820913
I'm doing a lot of agreeing here, but damn I'd marry a britfag just for the passport.

>>53826690
Cheer up m8, you've got a lot to live for. You have a sick passport, get out there and get shit done,

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>>53828439
i know everything

>>53828787
Haha good god.

Seriously though most strongly agree with >>53809850 this post. If it ain't a blonde twink you look the other way.

Hello lads

>>53829252

Hello Minnesota

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>>53829565
How's texas?

My friends father went there and all he had to say was everything was very cheap

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>>53829831

The low gas prices are really great at the moment but our economy is oil based so deep down it's like

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>>53830090
iktf

Minister of Finance: "how would you like your economy"

President Zuma: "just fuck my shit up fåm"

>>53815138
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1NW6c2SnQoQ

>>53830517
and there goes gabons military budget for the next 5 years

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>>53830341
Jesus Christ

Time to watch some Berserk :^j

I'm here my people! The only black guy in here

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>>53834261
But are you african?

>>53834261
post a pic of your nose

>>53834893
No

Would you support the return of apartheid?

>>53835094
i just want a working government. ours is broken and people are now worse off than ever before.

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>>53835094
I support the independent cape republic

>>53835298
hoe lank sal daai muur moet wees? lyk so 1800km.

>>53828439
Pretty big simplification about the issues in Africa.

>>53835444
Kry vir Donald Trump op die foon, ons moet 'n deal maak

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>>53835015

>>53835544
Post your nose

>>53835544
And are you that Nigerian?

>>53835754
sup angry black girl?

>>53836017
I'm not a girl

>>53836107
to us you will always be angry black girl.

>>53836257
rude

>>53836311
So cute ^^

Whats up with all the Boers speaking Dutch vernacular in here

>>53837972
We're planning our next invasion.

Hows the weather in luanda?

>>53837972
Hello

>>53837972
shhh fapla you know what happened the last time the boers got angry with you guys

>>53838058
30c and 80% humidity @ 21:49

>>53838199
gay tbqh

>>53838270
It wasn't a fair fight SADF had combat experience and good equipment, fighting against a newly assembled army with Russian WWII equipment

>>53838394
>gay tbqh

what?

>>53838394
Seems mildly uncomfortable

You had the cubans to do your fighting

>>53838536
Cubans were mercenaries and thieves but still good fighters tho

They were here to steal what whatever assets the Portuguese had left behind and ship to Habana

>>53838729
Funny how you guys are now advancing and growing economically, and we are going down the shitter

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>>53838943
not sine oil prices tanked

>>53830090
BIG TEX NOOOOOOOOOO