Why did the Canadian cross the road?!
Why didn't the Indian cross the road?
He stopped halfway to take a shit.
Why did the Muslim cross the road?
To bash the chicken and rape his sister.
Why did twenty Muslims cross the road?
Because the chicken was winning.
What did the Indian get after having sex?
Ten years without parole.
A white man hops into a taxi and sees that the driver is Indian. He's also listening to some kind of music from his home country at a really high volume. As he sits down, the man reaches into his pockets and pulls out a pair of earplugs. The driver looks over and says, "Ah, I see you came prepared, my friend."
"Yep," says the white man, then he stuck a plug up each nostril.
Why does time pass faster in Italy than anywhere else on Earth?
Because everytime you turn around you'll see a day go by.
That's all I've got for now.
No, wait. I remember some more.
How do you calculate the number of people living in a Pakistani village?
Count the number of windows and multiply by 36.
A blind rabbit was stumbling through the woods one day, when it bumped into a blind skunk. The two animals were shocked for a moment, but quickly calmed down and tried to determine what the animal was that they'd ran into. The skunk went first. "Hmmm... Long ears, big feet, soft, fluffy fur, you're a rabbit!" says the skunk.
"Yes!" the rabbit replies. The rabbit then begins feeling the skunk to determine what it is.
"Hmmmm... Long, jagged claws, buck teeth, fur like a wire brush and you stink like shit... You're a Paki!"
How do Abos reproduce?
The male ejaculates into a gutter and then the flies do the rest.
What's yellow and goes, "Cheap cheap!"?
Okay now I'm spent.
Day go = dago.
Why are Greeks bad at soccer?
Because everytime they get a corner they open up a fruit shop.
Why do Greeks always wear gold chains around their necks?
So they know when to stop shaving.
>Over the past five years, the number of Australian-born people leaving Australia permanently has doubled.
Hmm..wonder why someone would move from a highly developed country.
A Dane, a Swede and a Norwiegan was standing next to a football.
The Dane said "I kicked this ball a hundred meters up in the air and i got a gold medal for it!"
The Swede scoffed as he said "I kicked this ball from Stockholm to Helsinki, and i got two gold medals for it!
The Norwiegan scoffed as he said "I once kicked a brick over my own house!"
The other two, taken aback asked the Norwiegan "What did you win for that?"
"A broken foot!" The norwiegan said with pride in his voice.
If I were a doctor I'd be extolling the virtues of toilet-centric defecation to you, Pajeet.
Although I can't shake the idea that you stole this off probably a British comedian or somebody like that, nice one, Simo, nice one. I like it.
Last night, I was Hungary, so Iran to the fridge to get some Turkey. It was too Greece-y and Chile, so I had Togo Russian to the store to buy Samoa. I had Benin the store before, but there was a new shopkeeper. He said he was a local, but I said "I don't Bolivia, you probably have a Korea in tech support." I bought my turkey but only realized after I got home that Egypt me and overcharged me. I got pissed and decided that I was Ghana fuck him up, so I went back to the store. I said "Kenya give me back my cash, you Laos-y fuck?" He denied it, but I Niue swindled me so I said "I don't be-Libya, now give me my money back before I kick Djibouti back to Bangalore." The store manager came out and said that he had Peru-f of the swindling, and that he was Syria-sly sick of the shopkeeper, so he fired him on the spot.
Then he pooed in the aisle and ran away
>January 1st 2016, 7am
>Trudeau announces that all refugees are to be deported
>Puts extremely tight immigration in place
>Puts Canada back in Syria, including ground troops
>announces all of his party staff's employment are to be re-processed, and to give the jobs to the people with the best qualifications, regardless of gender, ethnicity and religion
>literally fires all of his staff members who were employed because of diversity or gender quotas
>Then gives a press conference in the evening
>Reporters ask why did he do all these drastic steps, and reverse many of the things he did last year
>Trudeau gives a smirk, with a slight nod, and says
>"Because it is no longer 2015"