If I would learn hebrew and pretend to be a jew would they give

>>53382599
i think you need proof you have jewish heritage .
during times of mass immigration of jews (like 90s for former soviet union ) they let a lot of people slip but usually they can check records and see if you're jewish .

>>53382599
who's gonna believe you?
they need family records m8

>snownigger
>jewish

nice try faggot

>>53382978
judaism is a religion you goy. anyone can convert.

>>53383064

that obviously isn't true

it's like saying anyone can get a degree in physics

>>53382599

you're gonna have to get some jewish relatives somehow

>>53382846
What if you're from a country that doesn't track the religious affiliation of its citizens? There would be no records to prove that stuff.

>>53383184
anyone that's not hopelessly mentally damaged can sink the time to study and get high scores on university level tests on physics or any other subject

>>53383208

it's a dark area. there are a few ethnic groups in the world who claim they are jewish and do indeed appear to have a lot of jewish customs but there isn't any evidence linking them back to the 12 tribes.

>>53383313

have you been to uni? i can guarantee that isn't true.

I understand what you're saying, on face level anyone should be able to convert to Judaism, but it takes a lot from you and many people couldn't go through with it even at the height of their resolve.

What I'm saying is some people have shit resolve, I guess.

>>53383313
i am doing a bachlor's of physics and im sure as hell that most people are incapable of doing well past the first semester maybe . it is true that most people fail (like i probably will this semester) because they dont put enough afford into it .


you could convert to judaism , its not hard but its long and tedious and not worth it unless you actually want to be jewish . 95% of people that do it not to actually be jewish will eventually quit the process .

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>>53383598

>mfw exams coming up and all I want to do is shitpost & play video games

engineering is hell

>>53383412
i haven't been to uni but i don't have to qualify myself to assert that anyone can study for a test. even a total dumbass can wrap their head around complicated mathematical or philosophical concepts if they read the same paragraph over and over until they get it. i reckon that people drop out of uni because they find it difficult to retain large amounts of information in the amount of study time that is available to them in time to be prepared for tests.

>>53382808
Can I get an exception since I'm American? I think allowances should be made for best goys.

If you bought a ketuba online and pretend it was your grandmother's (from mama's side), then you should be gucci.

Honestly, half the Russim in Israel are not Jews in any sense. They had some byldo Jew grandfather that converted to Christianity when he realized there's nothing materially good in being a kike in 20th century Russia.

>>53384075
do yourself a favor and stay in the us

>>53384182
When is the government going to formally declare that Israelis own their own fucking land? Apparently, you only own land in Israel if it was settled before the founding of the State of Israel. Seriously dude, communistic ideals are shitty and end up causing more conflict with Palestinians.

>>53383914
> wrap their head around complicated mathematical or philosophical concepts if they read the same paragraph over and over until they get it.
this may be true for highschool \ certain courses . but 80% of scientific university level courses you wont 'get' anything by reading the same paragraph over and over . and believe me many people have tried .

>>53383914
>drop out of uni because they find it difficult to retain large amounts of information in the amount of study time that is available to them in time to be prepared for tests.
while i cant speak for non-scientific courses , in most scientific courses the tests test your ability to apply what you know ,which you can only do fast enough for a test by doing lots of exercises .
most people dont fail because their brain cant retain the information they fail because they didnt do enough exercises .

>>53383828
fuck my life

>>53383914

I'm not disagreeing with you on that most people have the cognitive potential to get a 1st degree in physics, what I'm saying is that most people cannot tap into that potential because they do not have the personality to do so, which essentially nulls the said potential in the first place. Meaning that they can't get a a degree in physics.

>>53384182
I want to join the IDF and kill Muslims though.

>>53384139
This is true. I would say up to 25% of Russians here aren't really Jews. They don't look Jewish, they don't follow the religion, and they maybe have like 1 Jewish grandparent. Hell I'm uncircumcised, less then half Jewish, blonde haired and blue eyes. If I wasn't born in a shithole in Ukraine I probably wouldn't even be in Israel desu

>>53382808
What if he is a convert?

>posting on 4chan to forget about the fact that I have exams coming up and I'm gonna fail them because I fucking hate my major so much
>this thread

FUCKING THANKS JEWS

>>53384392
>I want to join the IDF
there's not many potential life choices you could make that are worse then doing that .
the IDF is a joke and the vast majority of people who served with me agree.

>>53384392
You can always volunteer you dumb go-I mean good patriot.

>>53384454

what you studying breh

1st year engineering (won't specify which for anonymity) at BGU here

>>53384493
Be that as it may I like what they offer in terms of Muslim shooting.

>>53384493
right, I have no Idea how we haven't been taken over yet. I've rarely seen people as incompetent at the average soldier, yet alone soldiers

>>53384511
You can volunteer for the IDF if you aren't Israeli or Jewish?

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>>53383828
same, I'm good at coursework but i suck at exams so i have to study for longer.

>>53384417
you can convert but as i said its a very long and tedious process (you move in with a jewish family at some point in it and study judaism full time) .

>>53384527
you know theres like hundreds of people studying every type of engineering its not like i can track you down .
first year physics at tel aviv .

>>53384454
Why Physics? Just take one step and start Mechanical Engineering. Maybe you can even be hired in a Drone producing company and help the world get rid of Muesli.

>>53384527
statistics & math

basically it's math. hedva , linearit, etc.

I can't stand math. I'm sick of it, I hate it, I keep procrastinating, I'm not getting any work done, just being at the university sitting in those classes makes me physically ill. does anyone actually fucking enjoy this? is anyone fascinated by it?
I wish I could just study something like history and actually enjoy myself and be interested in it.

>>53384544
>Be that as it may I like what they offer in terms of Muslim shooting.
i dont think you have the slightest idea what an army is .
you'll be guarding some radar dish in some remote shithole for weeks at a time , not shooting anyone .
most action you'll get is guarding in a place with actual people within 20km of it seeing some palestinians herd sheep .

>>53384579
>>53384493
>hurr durr everyone else is stupid and only i'm smart, right?!?!?!!!! ;((

>>53384622
>suddenly he admits of being dumb

>>53383319
There isn't any evidence that the 12 tribes even existed.

>>53384612
That's cool man, my dad used to be the dikan of physics there actually.

>>53384588
Not sure, I think so.

>>53384700
Can I shoot the sheep?

>>53384579
its because everyone around us manages to our-retard our army which is a joke but gets experience defeating even worse armies.

>>53384747
>suddenly he admits of being dumb

huh?
also it's "admit to" not "of", that's so israeli.

>>53384612
Yeah, but what I always wanted to know is how they can figure you're a Jew. For exemple, there are clubs in Brazil that only admit Jews. Do they call your Rabbi or something?

>>53384622

Personally (entirely personally), I put up with the math because for me it's a means to an end, ie obtaining to tools to get into R&D, which is what I want to do.

For me math for the sake of math wouldn't be great.

Also doing linearit and hedva this semester, it's incredible how bad some people are at it. Like over 50% of my dept. has failed all of the bhanim kek

>>53384613
physics because i want to be a scientist not an engineer . and i already work for an israeli defense-firm .

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>>53382846
Sorry the records burned in auschwitz or was it treblinka or some shit.
GIBS DAT PASSPORT NOW

>>53384822

9.
to permit entrance; give access:
This door admits _to_ the garden.

10.
to permit the possibility of something; allow (usually followed by of):
The contract admits _of_ no other interpretation.


>http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/admit

>>53382599
All Jews have a right of return to Israel, whether they are ethnically Jewish or religiously Jewish regardless of their ability to speak Hebrew, Yiddish, or any other Jewish language

Since you'd be a conversion though it's required that you are recognized as a convert to Judaism by a branch of Judaism recognized as Jewish by the Israeli government. To be recognized as a convert you must go through various processes include being circumcised. If you are already circumcised some organizations might require blood to be drawn from your penis.

Once a Jew, you are eligible for the right to return. After one year of living in Israel and learning, at least to some extent, the Hebrew language you may acquire citizenship. Once you are a citizen of Israel you are subject to their requirement of military service.

Have fun (:

>>53384622
>does anyone actually fucking enjoy this? is anyone fascinated by it?
yes i do . i'd be having the time of my life if only i didnt have test for hedva and shit like that to do .

>>53384865
It's pretty hard to be any good at something that's just so horribly dull, I have zero motivation to study above the bare minimum.

Feels bad man.

>>53384544

Why don't you go to Syria and fight then, brave boy.

Haven't seen an ISIS execution video in quite some time.

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>>53384700
I'm good at shitposting would i be good if i join the JIDF?

>>53384747
why so mad shlomo? I just call it like I see it, our army is filled with retards who ride the success of the few competent soldiers

>>53385010
>hurr durr everyone else is stupid and only i'm smart, right?!?!?!!!! ;((
>please tell me i'm right
>please goyim love me i just told you i hate israeli soldiers
>pleaseeeeeeee ;(((

>>53384916
?
Not even sure what you're trying to argue for, it's grammatically incorrect.

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>>53384802

israeli 'elite commandos' (we do actually have elite commandos but most of the 'elite units' in the army are retards)

shot some camel and got arrested & jailtime .

>>53382599
Just convert to Judaism. Reform is pretty easy,
a lot of my in-laws did it for marriage

If you have at least one Jewish grandparent you can also do this >>53382808

>>53385067
Let's ask an American.


What's the correct way?
>1. He admits to being dumb.
>2. He admits of being dumb.

>>53385111
I'm honestly surprised this doesn't happy daily with an army is built of 18yo arsim

>>53385111
That camel was asking for it.

>>53384824
they have people who specialize in each country's documentation of all the jews living in there .

government records\jewish community records .

>>53384622
>>53384865

What's hedva?

>>53385057
grow some thicker skin you flaming faggot. I don't hate Israeli soldiers, I served with the incompetent people such as yourself. I'm just not a sand nigger and can admit the majority of our soldiers are idiots. Go argue on /pol/ or something

>>53384990
Because there's no one worth fighting for in Syria. I like that they're killing each other.

>go fight for muslims if you hate muslims
Nah

>>53385111
All of his battalion shot that camel?
All of his brigade shot that camel?
All of his unit shot that camel?
All of his platoon shot that camel?

Leftist fucks just LOVE to exaggerate their arguments.

>>53385213

calculus

>>53385111
oh vey they shot a camel what a vegan shoah call gary yourofsky

>>53385151
it's to, that guy is just retarded and can't admit he's wrong

>>53385213
Calculus

>>53385233
>hurr durr everyone else is stupid and only i'm smart, right?!?!?!!!! ;((
>you stupid!!! stupidd! stop harassing me!! :((((

>>53383184
Reform is fucking easy. I admit that conversion according to the Halacha is difficult, but until the Penguins seize control of the Knesset a Reform conversion will work fine

>>53384139
Israel doesn't care which one of your grandparents is Jewish. A paternal grandfather works as well as a maternal grandmother, when it comes to citizenship.

>>53385332
you're replying to the guy who thinks it's "of"

like how uneducated can you be, it's basic english. no other israeli here would get it wrong.

>>53385273
not at all m8, i agree that most soldiers are alright but there's retarded arsim everywhere and they give me the impression that the whole army is shit .

>>53385332
nah you're wrong too

>>53385358
answer this: >>53385151

>>53385346
you're proof how stupid they are, quit embarrassing yourself. I never claimed to be the only smart one and you've already posted that like 3 times, go spend your time learning proper english instead arsim fag

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Stop crying about muh courses you faggots

;-;

>>53385411
First one

>>53385358

you won't get a citizenship from a reform conversion I am almost certain of that.

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>>53385279
>>53385336

I actually love calculus, it's always practical and you always feel like you can apply everything you learn.

I have a measure theory exam this week and it's gonna cuck my shit up, so awful

>>53385194
how much sex happens in the IDF?

also is it true that ethiopian QTs tend to be very promiscuous?

>>53385331
good house kike

>>53385213
it means differential and integral mathematics . which is basically calculus but the hedva course i took were actually what you'd call real analysis for some reason .

>>53385391
I'm American you mentally challenged idiot, no one says of being dumb.Israelis are terrible at english...

>>53385487

don't sweat it dude, I was in himush too and look at me now! haha haha hahaoh god kill me

>>53385151
Admits TO is correct

>>53385487
משתתף בצערך

>>53385487
>himush
having the time of your life my tsayir friend ?.
role ?
why you have a pin on a fucking pita ?

>>53385411
>>53385494
can you fucking kill yourself now or at least get the fuck out of this thread? your stupidity is really bringing down the level of the conversation here

>>53384579
>I have no Idea how we haven't been taken over yet

That's because you're fighting arab subhumans. If you fought Europeans you'd get BTFO a long time ago.

>>53385630
nah americans can't into english
>i.e.: center, color, admits to

>>53385522
A lot

Also I had sex with another guy but that's a story for another time.

lel butthurt kike gets rekt y fellow Israelis about our retarded soldiers and then rekt about english by americans

>>53385664
>thinking europeans with their lack of experience in modern warfare and weak intelligence networks would scratch us

the only ones who would manage a conventional war against Israel would be the ones with a significantly more powerful army, which basically means France and the U.K

>>53385675

not that I want much to do with this awful debate, but it is 'to'.

t. dovrei anglit in high school.

>>53385664
50s-80s eurogoys maybe .
modern eurogoys we'd rek the shit out of simply because of how many actually experienced soldiers we have .

>>53385522
>also is it true that ethiopian QTs tend to be very promiscuous?
they're not that common compared to your black residents

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>>53385675
>le damage controlling ars face

>>53385681
are you a homo or something

>>53385675
Sorry senpai, it's admits to.

>>53385873
nuh your rong meit

>>53385506
huh

source?

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>>53385833

he didn't exchange bro-jobs with his friends during shmirot for the laughs and to pass the time

what are you, some kind of tzahov?

>>53385664
just the big ones, we aren't like terrible we just have a big amount of retards and terrible organization. Like you have no idea how many times I saw useless girl soldiers drop or forget their guns. So many dumb bitches treat the idf like some highschool class.

>>53385681
lol

Isn't Tel Aviv famous for being very gay?

>>53385487
>le hairy cat hat
lel

>>53385833
Sort of, I guess I'm "bisexual" since I enjoy sex both with women and with men. But I only top men, and I mostly like the 'twink' types. It's complicated so I don't bother thinking about it.

>>53385946

shit forgot my meme arrow :(

>>53385833
There is literally nothing gay about fucking another man

>>53386011
Especially if its wearing a skirt.

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>>53385997

>>53385997
Israel according to /pol/ isn't a secular democracy, thus its biggest city can't be pro-LGBT.

>http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2088319/Tel-Aviv-trumps-New-York-named-worlds-best-gay-city.html

>>53385946
tzahov and tivoni

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>>53386083
>according to /pol/

>>53385736
>>53385754
>>53385979
So you're saying, take the Greek Hellenic army couldn't scratch the IDF?

>>53386112
>vegan
That's even worse than gay.

>>53385763
every IDF photo I see seems to have one or two token Ethiopians in it

>>53386134
The IDF is pretty small but very well-trained

>>53386134
just UK, France, Russia, Germany and then maybe Spain, Poland, and Italy could go either way. The rest no.

>>53386061
rabbinate must be unpleased with this

>>53385997
its a meme among israelis that tel aviv is gay . but its true that most homos move to the center of israel at some point .

>>53385979
>>53385664

true for most jobnicks most of the actual combat units are fairly competent . simply because they have bi-annual live fire exercises with hamaas\hizballah .

also you wouldn't believe how much money israel made off of palestinian rockets (atlest the military industrial sector) ,with a shitton of data they perfected the programming of rocket interception systems and sold a lot of them .

>>53386154
>tfw can't even eat shawarma because guilt is too strong
i tell myself it's because i don't want to harm the poor animals but in truth veganism is like a meme virus that won't allow me to do things that i want

אני לומד עברית.

אתם יכולים אותי להבין?

>>53386371
epic google translate mate

>>53386219
>>53386227
I was bantering but really you'll never fight Europe (and get to see how you hold up), unless muslims take you over and attack this way lel

>>53386306
I want to punch you.

>>53386371

לא

הואה-הואה-הואה גיב מאני איי ריפורט יו

>>53385946
>>53385833

seriously what's with the no-fun-allowed ?
you never played pita on shmirot ?
if you're tsahov its a game where a bunch of guys jerk off unto a pita and whoever finishes last eats it .

>>53386371
nice, the only thing you got wrong was the word order in the second sentence

אתם יכולים להבין אותי?

is correct

what's your story my friend?


>>53386306
PFT you're pathetic

>>53386414
I took five minutes to write it.
I have conjugation tables written down.

>>53386449
>>53386475
some people just can't handle all my good morality

>>53386467
honestly we just played ass-dick in my unit. basically you take a couple of pairs of soldiers, and one soldier has to sit on his partner's penis [take it up the ass] and we see who can last the longest. it's pretty fun, my record was like 7 minutes.

>>53386479
ריאלי? איי דונט בליאב יו

>>53386414
>>53386452
>bullying a dude attempting to learn a language

worse than cancer, kill yourselves. it's the 2nd time he's posting in hebrew in an israel thread, show some respect.

>>53386604
>implying I enter autistic /isr/
and why would anyone learn it t b h

>>53386428
>unless muslims take you over and attack this way lel
so for sure in 100 years?

>>53386177
>token Ethiopians
that's exactly what they are .
for every basic training there's an ethiopian guy that gets an award for trying ,basically he was a shit soldier at the beginning and kinda tried near the end so they award him instead of the people who actually gave 100% the whole time .

this was kinda wierd for me because the only ethiopian guy i knew in highschool was an army fanatic and went to an elite unit . apparently those are rare as fuck .

>>53386475
Italian Jew grandpa ran from facist Italy to Uruguay, married an Argentinian lady and gave birth to a non-Jew Brazilian. That Brazilian married another Brazilian and they gave birth to me.
All my family is dead (besides parents) and my grandpa is the only man I look up to. I'm unfortunate to been born a goy, have been seeking conversion for a time now.

>>53386543
You just seem weak. Like I could beat you up, take your money, and rape you. And you wouldn't do anything about it.

>>53386467
that sounds horrible

>>53386604

>m-muh bullying!

crazyaga is it you?

>>53386708
דבר עברית

>>53386708
Respect man. Keep practicing, it's not a difficult language to know the basics of, but there are grammar mistakes foreigners will never get over [mostly gender stuff and the million versions of each verb we have] because it's very nitpicky.

If you need help with anything just ask, we're always willing to help out.

>>53386717
if you came at me with intent to rape i'd just run away
i'm not risking my ass just to defend my pride lol

>>53386728
jokes aside i knew some people who actually did this .
they were also probably insane and i know they played like cards or something on the runway at the techni airforce base (in daytime when there's planes taking off and landing) and they got discharged from the army soon after .

>>53386543
>"morality"
>I won't eat this already dead cow cuz she was cute and dindu nuffin in her life

It's food, eat it, enjoy it.

>>53386578
ויי דונת יו בליאבע מע

איי חעב נותינג תו געינ פרום דיס

>>53386827
Well now I'm definitely going to rape you fuckboi.

>>53386917

You didn't tell us you already know yiddish bro!

>>53386819
I've stumbled on this "binyamin" table but I thought it was biblical not modern. For day-to-day conversation is it enough to know the basic conjugation?

>>53386961
lol

>>53386917
you had me at the חעב

>>53386917
because hebrew is not a language people learn often
plus the mistakes you made were very google translate-esque

>>53386887
if someone served me meat i'd eat it but i won't seek out meat because that might cause some animal to die.

>>53386675
Your tech is top notch. Our secret services used Israeli surveillance tech to record govt related calls, the opposition got hold of it and caused a ruckus by releasing them lel.

On another note I think Greece would hold out against a hypothetical Israeli attack, you're the same population and they have the highest military spending in Europe, since the Cyprus Turkish invasion. Also you're pretty much the same genetic stock. Internal demographics is your only enemy for now.

>>53386935
can't rape what you can't catch

>>53385931
The rabbinate is Orthodox and only accepts Orthodox conversions. There is no Reform movement in Israel (virtually none, it's a joke. If people want to be religious, they will be, if they don't, then they'll be secular). The Conservative movement is more or less the Masorti organization, but I think they have different organizations leading them; however, even they don't do conversions.

The thing is that there isn't really an Orthodox-Conservative-Reform divide in Israel like there is in the US. The rabbi is the rabbi, he's always trained "Orthodox" but people don't identify to different movements like that (or they rarely do). It's why kosher certification is so much easier.

>>53387025
It sounds Yiddish af, definitely Polish.

AYE CHEV NOH-TING! BLYAT CYKA!

>>53387034
I've been only reading up to now, I've attempted very few times to write something.
I'm going on interpals when I've more experience.

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>>53387109
on a 'neutral' battlefield israel's army would BTFO nearly any non-huge (russia\NK\france\UK) army that hast been in a war in the last 10 years .

but we've never invaded territory defended by non-retards so i suspect we'd get BTFO trying to attack any actual competent nation .
also palescucks BTFO general ?

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nice balance of banter sad atudaim and homo erotica in this thread

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>>53387023
Depends on the level you want to speak it at. Basically, we will understand you easily even if you fuck up genders or the binyan
http://tzion.org/devarim/The%20Seven%20Binyanim.pdf

Binyanim are sort of the structure of the verb that allow you to play around with it to apply it to different circumstances.
They are basically the "templates" you insert every verb into to get something.

For example if I take the verb להזיז [to move]
then I apply it to a binyan for a different meaning.
If I take הופעל [third line] then the verb becomes הוזז [was moved]
if I apply it to הפעיל then the verb becomes הזיז [moved {as in, the person moved that thing, he CAUSED the movement}]


my post isn't 100% accurate or coherent, you'll have to read up on it to understand

tl;dr binyanim are always used, they are the template for the verb. verbs aren't "static" like in english, they have different variations according to what you want to do with them [he MOVED, he WAS MOVED, he HAS BEEN MOVING, etc]

>>53387138
the closes thing to a non orthodox conversion is army rabbinate conversion which is known to be easy . also the army conversion course is known for the soldiers in it slaying tons of pussy (tons of sloots take it).

>>53387348
come to /isr/ m8

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>>53387364
>implying settler's arent at least 75% as retarded as palescucks

also palescuckjs btfo general

>>53387727
>also palescuckjs btfo general
>מפרסם טשטוש
you really showed them senpai

>>53387774
cba to find uncensored pic . was just browsing and saw this .
im sorry i havnt showed them enough senpai ,please forgive me .

>>53387449
Just so non Jewish kids arent popped out? Makes sense, I guess.

>>53387774
Half the settlers are insane though. They're causing needless conflict and purposefully sit themselves in high-risk areas. Then the IDF come out to protect them and it just creates more violence. Honestly, it doesn't help the two-state solution in any case.

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>>53387363
Alright. Lets play a game: Jew or non-jew?

>>53387447
Oh I see. Now I understood. In a sense it can be seen as cases but more convenient, seeing that it is streamlined by a single table.
Thanks.

>>53387540
Will do m8.

>>53387900
they have le knesset seats (them and poeple who support them) so no one dares telling them to fuck off .

you know what happened to the last israeli prime minister who told settlers we're not their private security firm and not to settle the middle of the fucking gaza strip ?
they made him into a fucking plant , hes in a come to this day (actually he might be dead i dont remember)

I'm genuinely curious, has anyone ITT from Israel ever gotten to shoot a benistinian? How many of you have seen combat?

>>53386802
Which subject?

>>53388326
?

>>53388235
rip sharon
eh is a pretty cool guy and doesn't afraid of anything

>>53388249
if you consider playing foorball with palestinian kids and then having the same kids throw rocks at you, repeat x3 years combat then me .

we kinda knew no to take it personally as hating israel is pretty much the hot popular meme among palestinians .

i shot some rubber rounds at someone trying to throw a molotov once and punched a settler once . most settlers are total bros (the ones that dont settle 1km from a palestinian village and destroy their crops and then wonder why palestinians keep throwing shit at them) but the bad ones i really hate more then anything .

>>53384747
t. Oved rasar

>>53388382
You asked to speak 'ivrit. I may happen to ask which subject.

>>53388235
he ded

>>53388536
אתה הדוס הצרפתי?

>>53388249
There's a few people here who have been in combat units so maybe they have a story, but the odds of you ever getting to do anything like shooting a FUGGEN DERRORIST are close to zero.

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>>53388461
did some retarded shit as PM but was a badass motherfucker once.

>>53388484
i still see that distinctive orange anti hitnatkut flags every now and then
i wonder what happened to all those settlers

>>53388235
That's the only thing I don't like about datim leumim in Israel, is that settler bullshit. Don't make it harder to show the world Israel is a peaceful state.

At least Haredim stay in their containment zones.

>>53388484
Some of them actually settle in historically Jewish areas like 2 feet from the Israeli border, which is understandable but still kind of not helping.

>destroy their crops
What was the term for that? Fire marking? Tax marking? I can't remember.

On a side note: why is Chabad Messianism so fucking popular in Israel? I see a Yechi sign with a picture of the Rebbe fucking everywhere.

>>53388605

was a badass at getting his soldiers killed for nothing while he got fatter and fatter

>>53388586
>הדוס הצרפתי
לא
מאוכזב?

>>53388830
So he was your George Marshall?

>>53388904
>being a Jew
>in fucking France
Dude, what are you doing? Get out! GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>53388964
And you fail ...
It's written I am not jewish.

>>53388904
ההפך

>>53385122
>Just convert to Judaism
>a lot of my in-laws did it for marriage
>Hover over the flag
>mfw

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>>53388830
i meant his early years . and yea i agree with you .

also mfw meshe dayan actually served in 'nam
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kRuH6pt0ytA

>>53389029
ולמה?

>>53388590
Sounds about right. Unless another war rolls around, it's gotta be pretty unlikely that most IDF soldiers anywhere away from Gaza or the west bank will see any action. I watched a documentary on it. Boredom is a big problem apparently.

>>53388484
>Tfw I will never get to punch a settler.

You sound like a cool guy.

>>53389109
היית מדבר איתו היית יודע/

>>53389056
>"mfw"
>doesn't post face
Post face, suka blyat

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>>53389117
>Boredom is a big problem apparently.
any army ever in a nutshell. you need to experience it to truly understand the feel of being a soldier stationed in a shithole , and people wonder why soldiers do stupid shit .

>>53389117
not at all , i consider myself a saint for not braking that particular guy's face with my gun butt. one thing that being in all those settler\palestinian riots gives you is nerves of fucking steel .

Israel is fascinating but you really have to start controlling what your settlers are doing.

>>53389336
I'm not sure I can get it this time.
>You were speaking with a yid"
or
>You were speaking with yiddish words
I'm of confuse ha'akh

>>53389648
the former

>>53389710
Well I know this is not perfect.
I try to understand what's going on.

>>53382599

You would need proof to show your mother was Jewish, or that you are a practicing Jew. So a letter form your Rabbi or your parents/grandparents marriage records from the synagogue.

They are also talking about DNA tests now.

It doesn't take much to prove, and you certainly don't need to speak Hebrew.

>>53383208

Of course there are records, Synagogues keep records of marriages. You need a Rabbi to confirm you are Jewish.

>>53384493

I agree. I served with the most pathetic cowards imaginable. Actual combat would have been a disaster.

>>53384916
He's right though. In that situation you would say "admit to being dumb." Admit of is used rarely and in this situation is wrong.

Yes in fact Israeli cops regularly check their citizens cocks they come up to people at random and say ''pull your pants down citizen'' if you aren't circumcised you have to suck their dick or else they arrest you

>>53390517
cops dont usually do this but in shared showers in the army if someone's not circumcised theres a thing where someone jerks off in a nearby shower cell and then he's about to cum cums on the uncircumcised guy .

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>wake up
>still in shithole Qatar
>not back in comfy RLP Germany

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>>53390623
Bravo, Israel.

>>53388605
>>53389357
>that fucking badass eyepatch

Punished Schlomo, a hero rejected by his foreskin...

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>>53390623
russian immigrant here
>mfw I was on the receiving end of a cumslam [that's what they call it] on my first day

I was so shocked. But then it became routine and we've all had a good laugh about it. Good times.

On all levels but the physical, I am a Jew.

>>53390623
Pls be lying. Circumcision is fugged up man.

>>53395628
>>53395363
Top banter tbph

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>>53395303
moshe is far more israeli then shlomo ,besides , this man was in ended more ayyrabs\charlies with his own hands than any man alive .
he's a legend to this day .

there's fucking action figures of him .

>>53395865
is this the real life

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>>53395865
> Moshe Dayan action figure
Where was this glorious bastard my whole life?

>>53395865
Jesus he's like a character from Archer. I fucking love it.

>>53396217
>>53395865
>>53389357

זה לא אני, זה לא אני, אני לא בן של חבר כנסת.
זה לא אני , זה לא אני , אני לא בר מזל .

mfw 'nam flashbacks

>>53384769

You're really good at staying anonymous bro.

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>>53396542
forgot pic

Since Jews produce the best comedians in the world, does this mean that Israel is the funniest place in the world to live?

Please give an honest answer, greatest allies.

>>53396675
no

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>>53396604
>that pita bread will never be my dick

I JUST WANT TO FUCK AN UPPITY BIG TITTED KIKE GIRL IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK

>>53396972
It's a beret

>>53396972
that pita could easily be your dick .
these gurls are slutty as fuck .