You wake up in the United States. What is the first thing you do?

get shot

>>53131315
kek

get dubs

>>53131289

Scream, "I finally have a toilet".

mumble quietly to self "I finally have a toilet".

clap and salute the flag

after a healthy breakfast consisting of poptarts, I walk into the street to receive my daily dose of bullets.

>>53131289
get shot

Book a flight home

allahu akbar with no survivors

Take in a deep breath of freedom

>eat at some extreme unhealty obscene fast food burger thing
>get some shitty cheap muscle car
>get guns and go shooting
Im not joking

(please send greencard)

>>53131289
>decide to get some lunch
>go to a bar
>get some fries and ketchup and sit down
>doing some work on laptop
>americans turning their heads, eyeing me and my food
>look up, everyone is staring at me
>a fat man starts chanting "eat it" rhytmically
>more and more americans start chanting "eat it"
>getting louder, more people join in
>whole bar is chanting now
>i give up, pick up a fry
>they all ghasp, then continue chanting
>i slowly dip it in sauce
>smiles now appearing on all the american faces
>i start to raise the chip in my mouth
>americans now making eating actions slowly
>room is dead silent
>i open my mouth
>hover the fry in my mouth, then bite down
>whole bar erupts in clapping
>everyone is "WOOing" and "Yaying" and claping
>all this goes on for 2 minutes
>they pick me up, raise me above them
>i am now ontop of a sea of land whales
>they are passing me around, some Ham planets give me kisses
>they all celebrate by buying fries and eating them
>it isn't enough
>they flee to the nearest McDonalds on their electric scooters
>its over
>eat my fries in peace
>get shot

>>53131289
drive to california

go and try to live with a roomate and go to kfc

Masturbate and scheme to acquire booze, rent, and gun money while staying NEET as possible. As I always do.

join US army

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>>53131634

>>53131289
get a bidet
(also get fat)

Thank god I'm not in BR anymore, then proceed to find a subjob and live my new american life

>>53131289
Move to Canada

>>53131289
go for a burger

>Want to go home
>Go to airport
>Get shot
>Crawl into the plane to get back to UK
>Nearly bleed out because I couldn't pay for healthcare
>Make it back alive by the skin of my teeth
>Stumble out of the airport
>Get stabbed by a 12 year old with a kitchen knife

>>53131289
go back home

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pic related

>>53131315
Didn't know black russians exist

>>53131634
I enjoyed this story.

>>53131383
Come'on Amit,you're begging for the bantz

Check it out which city am I, and find a NBA ticket

>>53131634
I like it

Get a gun and shoot myself

Go to a Georgian embassy.
Also, get a burger.

>>53131289
That flag is triggering me. It has the wrong number of stars, but I dont want to count them

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>eat a burger
>get a heartattack from all the fat
>nobody helps because I don't have an insurance
>niggers rob me
>get shot by christian fanatics
>die

>>53131289
Continue posting on a croatian life draining bulletin board.

>>53131591
>>get some shitty cheap muscle car
Illogical.
>>get guns and go shooting
What about ammo?

>>53131634
>chip

>>53134808
Why can't you afford insurance?
Are you a super duper poor fag?

>>53134127
Fok u.

>>53134108
The same thing I do everyday...

>>53131289
Restore the states rights.

>>53131289
walk back up

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Get arrested for breathing too loud

start clapping

>be me
>just woke up gotta thank god.
>immediately being smoking kief out of my bong

>>53140015
DUUUDE WEEEEED LMAO

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>>53131289
find the person who did pic related and kill him

When you wake up in a different country against expectations it means you can't remember how you've gotten there. Therefore I'd first search my pockets for a travel visum. If I can't find one I'd consider it a higher calling to become an illegal immigrant. I don't know what the first step towards life as an illegal immigrant is, but I'm sure I'd figure it out. It would probably involve reaching an illegal immigrant friendly state, of which there are increasingly many nowadays. You can even pay taxes and get a drivers license in a number of them.

>>53143162
Also what happens when you stay in a country illegally but then marry a citizen? Could you convert your stay to a legal one or would you face criminal charges?

Buy some cheap booze and drive for an hour till I'm home again

>>53144727
And I though our excise taxes on alcohol were outrageous. You poor bastards.

NO TAXATION WITHOUT INEBRIATION!!! REVOLUTION!!!!!

move back to Brooklyn

>>53131634
lol

10/10, would give a ride on my electric scooter

>get shot
>just a graze
>apply pressure, secure bandage
>go to hospital
>X-ray for fragments
>nothing
>get no pain medicine, take leave off of work

This happened on New Years. My neighbors were shooting their guns off in the air and I got hit by the ricochet on my leg.

probably get shot. If not I will find three jobs to survive.

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>>53131289
Wow, fucking new year.

Visit my cousins

>Find out where I am.
>If in shitty fly-over state, move to New York.
>If in New-York, get hooked on Crack and then die by cop.

Feel fear and try not to scream. Try to find a way of leave this place before the creatures living there find and sboot me or something worst. Ifvan human can survive in the jungle y can escape from there.

Wonder why I haven't killed myself yet.

Get a Job and stay with some cousins in California.

>>53146251
Wow, I though I was the only one, kek. Except it was just some paintball pellets

Drink try all the sodas they have there, like Mountain Dew.

>>53131289
Hop on a plane and find a tower

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>>53131289
learn mexican
pic not related

>>53131289
Buy a gun.

have a cup of coffee

shower

Get shot and then tip the shooter

>>53131289
Smoke weed