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What are some of the most embarrasing moments in your lives, /int/?

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What are some of the most embarrasing moments in your lives, /int/?
>>
I got called up to present a project in 8th grade and i had a boner that wouldnt go away
>>
all my life is an embarrassment
>>
Not being able to get an erection, what makes it worse

>we were both sober
>random hook-up

Literally still cringe thinking about it
>>
i made an account on okcupid and messages girls "so why haven't we had sex yet?" and acting all alpha and shit
one actually replied more than once and we met up
after 20 minutes she said "this isn't working out"

turned out i am just a beta after all
>>
>>53042562
On my first PE lesson when we were supposed to change I took all of my clothes off and stood in the middle of the class naked with my microbenis hanging out
I still cringe from time to time
>>
>>53042844
>microbenis
idk why but this made me laugh really hard
>>
Present
>>
JUST
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>wake up
>look in the mirror
>>
>>53042918
Not everyone can have a big kraut macrobenis
>>
I destroyed my credibility in my first interview. There was a woman in the room literally sniggering.
Live and learn, it was my first ever, but jesus was it bad.
>>
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>get friends with qt girl from university
>we start to hang out with each other even outside of uni
>one day she sends me a message
>"Anon, I need help to move my bed....do you have time tomorrow evening?"
>Sure
>next evening I show up at her place
>since it must be a heavy bed if she needs help to move it I bring a friend with me
>she looks pretty shocked when she opened the door
>bed wasn´t heavy at all and we moved it maybe like 10 cm
>strange arkward atmosphere the whole time
>leave her flat
>she never messaged me again
>now, after 6 months I suddenly realized what actually happened
>>
had a psychotic episode and convinced myself i was the chosen one and was destined to be with my oneitis but it all went crashing down and i went to therapy
>>
>>53042562
I don't really have anything big that'd come back regularly to haunt me. I have loads of small things, that are minorly embarrasing though?

maybe I just have thick skin. Idgaf most of the time about anything.
>>
>>53043049
Kek she might have thought you were 2alpha for her.
Also fuck women and their vague nonsense, okay in your case it's not vague at all but oftentimes it is.
>>
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>leave my room to go for a piss
>forgot that i left my door wide open
>also forget that i left my monitor on with dickgirl porn on
>see my mom leave the room without even looking at me
kill me
>>
>>53042562
I once stood still in a weird way and ended up breaking my leg in 2 places and collapsed on the spot
People saw
>>
>>53043134
Toppest of keks, I always used to be afraid of this scenario, forgetting to switch of my porn when going to clean my cock
>>
Once got caught by my brother looking at furry porn when I was 12 and thought furries were cool in a non-sexual way (i didn't realise it was going to be porn, it was like a fox guy with his dick out)
>>
>>53043134
but you're swedish, aren't you guys all about being accepting? I'm sure if you brought it up she'd be like, whatever floats your boat man
>>
>>53043178
How the fuck do you break your leg by standing?
>>
>>53042931
>>
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>>53042641
>white bois have noticeable erections
Pitiful tbqh, I have erections all the time and it's never been noticed
>>
>>53043333
I was standing on uneven ground with my body weight shifted too much on one side. Eventually my leg just gave up and I ended up collapsing along with it.
>>
> go out with a grill
> eat
> go to a movie
> it was awkward as hell
> after some time i finally kiss her
> we make out for like 1 hour
> the following day i text her 'i love you'
> she never answered back
> a few months later i met her and told her it was a friend who was using my phone.
>>
Idk

Kissed a landwhale in front of my only friends, while they expected me to get 8s and 9s.

>Got an 8/10 qt with Amerindian complexion in my lap during a party
>Was high and drunk af
>got her out of my way so I could drink more vodka
>When I took the first sip I vomited on the carpet
>passed out

>Chitchating my way to a 6/10 bitch
>invite her to a party
>Insisted so she could kiss me
>She kissed me
>I never talked to her again from that moment
>>
>>53043134
So tolerant...
>>
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>>53043390
>>
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>>53043390
>a few months later i met her and told her it was a friend who was using my phone.
>>
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>>53043370
>I have erections all the time and it's never been noticed
>>
>15yo, finally ask out girl on msn messenger
>decide not to shower, wear crappy clothes
>meet up and go to mcdonalds
>watch 40-year old virgin
>really awkward the whole time
>get dumped next day

welp
>>
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>>53043473
>he will never experience the joys of having a chink nanobenis
>>
>having sex with Danish girl
>about to cum
>yell IM CUM because I felt I shoukd warn her
>tells me to pull out
>I groan and pull out and sound like a zombie doing it
>awkward as fuck the rest od the night
>>
Passing out during a field training while at the navy.
>>
>>53043049
Damn son. I'm a huge sperg but even I would have got that.
>>
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>come out of vagina
>continue to survive for 25 years

So cringy
>>
>be me
>7th grade (like 12 to 13 years old)
>live in colorado
>science class we have a field trip up to the mountains to learn about rocks and shit
>bus stops at only bathroom for miles but I dont go
>a while later I have to piss
>end up pissing myself
>people see
>people laugh
>back on the bus I let out more piss since my bag was covering my lap
>feel some get In my socks
>feelsbadman.jpg
Worst part is I had 1 more class afterwards and sat next to a qt and she definitely knew
>>
I left a 4chan tab open that unbeknownst to me had been spammed with furry porn while I was out getting groceries. I came back to my girlfriend crying because she'd decided to go through my computer while I was out and found the thread open, then assumed I was into it.

The worst part was that she'd called my fucking sister and told her about it
>>
>>53043518
yeah i bet its easier to be a sissy with that clit.
>>
>>53044038
Bitches ain't nuthin but snitches.
>>
>>53044038
>he lets his gf use his computer
does she spank you too?
>>
>>53043991
Another one
>be me
>sophomore in High School
>student goverment fag
>after spring break about 12 german foreign exchange students come to our school
>one is especially qt
>also a foreign language fag so I see them after their german class ends and my chinese class began (same room)
>took german in middle school so I try to make small talk
>tell qt "du bist sehr hĂĽbsch"
>crushing hard
>prom rolls around
>qt is a junior so I ask her if shes going
>she says yes so I ask whos shes going with
>she says "well you can go with me"
>ohshit
>spaghetti falls out of my pocket
>stutter out "o-ohh well I-I I mean that isnt..."
>dont even finish and actually run away
>fuck
>never talk to her again
I still cringe at my inability to say yes to something I actually really wanted
>>
>>53044193

She went through it while I was out, we weren't living together or anything she;d just come over for the day and I'd left a bunch of tabs open from the previous night and forgot about it
>>
>>53042844
Its ok in Kindergarten I stripped naked in the restroom, then left (and my class was outside in the queue) and I was like 'HEY MATES!!!!' whilst BUTTNAKED fml
>>
Lost my boner on my first time after 1 sec.
Didnt fap for a week and the next time it stayed semi hard.
>>
>>53044472
This can't be real
>>
Laid down on my balls. Thank god no one was around.
>>
>be about 12 years old
>at a friends birthday party with some girls I don't know
>it's night
>we all sleep in the same room
>silence
>I begin to fart
>look around, everyone sleeps
>continue farting
>I try to suppress
>one minute later, I can't hold it anymore
>loudest fart ever
>sounds like a starting diesel engine
>I almost shit in my pants
>leave the fucking room
>run to toilet
>worst diarrhea of all time
>still farting like a motherfucker
>toilet is right next to the room where the others sleep
I'm pretty sure they heard everything
>>
>>53044705
I was at that weird part of high school where I didnt know I was attractive or that girls could actually like me. The result is massive autism when it came to girls.
>>
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When I was in 10th grade, I couldn't remember one of the lines during a performance, and instead I said "blyad, forgot the words" directly into the microphone.
>>
>>53044841
Hey man nothing you could do about that--no shame man. Chances are since theyre German they were into it, and thats where they developed their sheiĂźe fetish.
>>
>>53043991
So you were off the bus when you pissed yourself, and then you continued pissing when you got back on the bus?

What the fuck?
>>
>browse /int/
>some 2d faggot post anime 2d furry in a sexy pose
>gf sees it
>make up some bullshit excuse about autists on the website (which is actually true)
>gf thinks I'm autistic
I knows she lost respect for me when that happened.
>>
>>53045242
No I pissed myself in the woods, and then kept pissing when I got back on the bus. I dont know why I didnt just piss on a tree or something. I guess 7th grade me thought pisssing myself was a better alternative than my entire 7th grade class seeing my willy.
>>
>>53045371
as soon as i get gf im never going to browse 4chan ever again
>>
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>Decent looking new employee at job
>We quickly become friends and she learns fast from my teaching
>One day I'm sitting on the floor organizing some files
>She came over to grab her coat to go home and told me goodbye with the most primal lustful look in her eyes while she was standing over me
>Me being the autist I am simply smile and say goodbye
>Quickly realize I lost an awesome opportunity to get laid with no questions asked
>>
>>53045507
You are here forever.jpg
>>
>>53045371
browsing 4chan with girls around its an autistic decision so she's right about you man.
>>
>>53042720
>Not being able to get an erection
And the worst thing is that it happened when I was about to lose my virginity
>>
>>53045749
She wasn't supposed to see it. We were both watching tv and i was browsing 4chan on my tablet when she suddenly saw it. I never showed her the website or whatever, she would castrate me for all the porn.
>>
>>53045700
>tfw my best years at 17-18 I had a 2 year break from 4chan
Not sure if it's a cause or symptom
>>
>>53045749
Im browsing right now whilst watching football with my mom and two sisters. But this is one of the more tame boards I guess.
>>
>>53046006
I even browse /hc/ when we're spooning.
The stress induced adrenaline gives me a massive boner.
>>
>>53045776
My first time was with a girl I loved for years, which was great.

It really is true that sex is only good with peope you love.

>tfw haven't found a girl to love in years
>>
>>53045749
I used to watch weird porn with my female friend.
Mostly on other sites, but I also showed her some threads on /gif/.

What's so autistic about that?
>>
>>53046198
Hey at least your girl feels the boner and then you get laid right? Sounds like a win/win
>>
>>53042562
when i got rejected by a girl even though i tried my best
so far i've been turbo autist
>>
>>53046233
Where are you trying to meet girls, lad?
>>
>>53046387
Why?
>>
>>53046336
Indeed. I need it to get a boner, otherwise I just get drunk and go to sleep.
>>
>got caught masturbating by my father
>got caught masturbating by my cousin
>got caught masturbating by my neighbor
>started nosebleeding while taking driving instructions
>got caught watching porn at the school library
>>
>>53046417
Because if he's looking for love he might be looking in the wrong places. Unlike in Brazil, not every girl is a giant whore no matter where you go.
>>
>>53046387
Nowhere really. I meet girls frequently in bars but I never stay interested.

My last real gf was in my class, so we had similar interests and similar levels of intelligence. She was beautiful too.

I'd say the best place to find a gf is university, but doing STEM has got me fucked up.
>>
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>tfw you point on product that you would buy and adviser shakes your hand.
>>
>>53046635
M8 try going to a cooking or dancing class--im sure they have those somewhere in your city. Or go to a book store or an indie movie premiere. Godspeed, anon.
>>
>>53046565
>got caught masturbating by my neighbor
How?
>>
>>53046565
Apparently you masturbate too much.
>>
>>53046836
I didn't close the curtains
>>
>>53046727

I have always wanted to learn how to dance 2bh... Thanks lad
>>
>>53046888
There is no such thing
>>
>>53046941
Did you gave him the finger?
>>
>>53046941
Sheep dont count as neighbors
>>
>>53046305
That's cool and all but not normal.
>>
>>53046888
Trips dont lie
>>
Someone on /int/ thought I was an American pretending to be Norwegian
>>
>>53048038
Were you just being especially retarded or...?
>>
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My parents think i have a girlfriend and already had many others, and that i just don't tell them because i'm shy
>>
>be me
>texting with a female friend
>have nothing to talk about anymore and that's the point where I should have quit
>ask her what she's doing today just to keep the conversation alive
>she writes some shit like: why do you ask? :D
>my response was: just because I want to know, don't worry I wouldn't flirt with you anyways.
>she just answers: haha I know

I instantly realized I made the situation even worse with the last part of my sentence, but it was already too late then.
>>
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>tfw childhood embarrassing feels supposedly long-forgotten strike back
>the maximum cringe and shame

I NEVER ASKED TO BE TORMENTED
>>
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>be me
>had some problems with my stomach
>one day in park,walking my small puppy lab(he was like 5 months or smaller)
>oh shit i need to poop really bad
>sit down on a bench,slide my pants a bit down and take a huge shit,maybe the biggest in my life desu
>after i wiped my ass with some tissues some qt girls who where running see the shit and look disgusted
>i tell them my dog is sick
>one of the qts says:the shit is bigger than the dog and i bet the dog doesn't use tissues to wipe his ass
>i cringe so bad and i start to run away
>i forget my pupper on the bench so i cringy turn back to grab him and i almost lost my balance and farted too.
It makes me cringe so hard X(X(X(X(X
>>
>>53043034
Explain further pls
>>
>>53042701
this tbqh
>>
>>53043505
how do you watch a movie in mcdonalds
>>
>>53044498
What happened did you break up?
>>
>>53052498

DESIGNATED
>>
>>53043049
>bed wasn´t heavy at all and we moved it maybe like 10 cm
Wait, what?
Why didn't she just tell you that?
>>
>>53045472
Wtf, you should know better in the 7th grade. I try to treat Americans as normal but you make it so difficult
>>
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>>53052498
>>
>>53046565
>started nosebleeding while taking driving instructions
1. How is this embarrassing
2. I thought at first you were going to say you masturbated so hard you got a nosebleed
>>
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Sweidsh man thought me as gay before he realised his mistake and went back to suck his black master.
>>
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getting tangled up in my own lies and cover-ups

most of them pertain to giving the illusion that I am not a shut-in


>literally live 2 minutes away from the most popular pub in this side of the town
>i've never been there
>a supposed to meet up with some people, "sure, sure"
>i don't even know where the entrance is and stand around outside the wrong set of doors when they arrive (the entrance is through the basement like in pic related)

i came up with some lie, but they could tell. they could tell
>>
>>53052498
Nice
>>
>>53045041

i fucking lost it
>>
>>53042701
THIS. ;__;
H
I
S... ;_;
>>
>>53045041
>"blyad, forgot the words"
top fucking kek
>>
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>>53052498
>tfw you will never be this gyppo
>>
>>53043390
why
>>
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>>53042701
this sums it up to be quiet honest
>>
When I was in primary school, I was dared to pick up this log of shite from the school toilet and I actually did it the absolute madman. After I did it my mates ran out yelling "HE PICKED UP A POO HE PICKED UP A POO HAHAHA" and everyone was wierded out by me and made fun of me because of it.
>>
>>53043049
This is pasta
>>
>>53046565
So the half island already caught you mastrubating
>>
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>Be 13 or 12
>Going back home from school
>Really wanted to pee but I didn't go in the school
>Pissed myself in about 10 meters from my house
>Start crying
>There were some workers in other house looking at me
>>
>2nd grade
>school's Christmas party
>parents are watching
>almost time for our class to perform
>one of the older kids told us about masturbating in the backstage
>fascinated by it
>our turn comes
>go on stage
>don't have a speech role, just standing around
>decide to try masturbating
>everyone can see me jacking off in the middle of a school play
>after a while one of the teachers takes me off the stage
Nailed it as an elf desu
>>
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>>53056001
>>
I was a party with my girlfriend from France I met on Interpals who I had been with for over a year now (we were living in the same city) and she was playing beer pong with this guy. I was pretty drunk and just sitting down, he made a bet that if she lost against him she would have to play the next round topless.

Next thing she loses (because she is bad) and ends up literally taking her tits out for everyone to see. Then the guy, presumably to try his luck, bet her that if she lost against she would have to suck his dick. My girlfriend turns to me and says "I know I can win this time! What do you say?"

I thought she was joking, so I just casually replied "Yeah, whatever"

Then she loses again, and this asshole says something like "Hey, a bet's a bet." and my girlfriend responds with some bullshit like "Well I am a woman of my word." Within the space of fifteen seconds she's literally on her knees, topless, sucking this guys dick. There was nothing I could do about it.

Because of that I just turned away and pretended to see nothing / try to not look like some beta fagot. Then after a couple of minutes I hear him saying "Go, show him. Let him see" and my girlfriend taps me on the shoulder, opens her mouth full of his cum, then closes it again and swallows in front of me.

Fuck Interpals. Fuck women. Fuck life. I'm out.
>>
>be 14
>be the kind of fag that skips school if I feel tired
>be son of a single mother
>explain to her that I feel really tired and I don't want to go to school
>she tells me to stop being a little bitch
>I just go back to bed
>she gets a bucket and pours water in my bed
>go to sleep in the bed in the basement
>hear voices near me
>realize that my mother had a bunch of Mexicans doing yard work that day
>she just kind of pointed them into my basement to stare at me
>bunch of Mexicans that probably work 15 hour days looking at a shirtless white kid trying to sleep at 10 in the morning
>without saying a word, put on a shirt and go to school

I probably have a lot worse, but that one stuck in my mind.
>>
>go to SverigetrĂĄden meetup on independence day
>lots of guys there with booze, making me uncomfortable
>one of the oldfags takes me aside and confronts me on my mixed heritage
>literally says "I won't have you fuck up our good times with your shit" whilst prodding me painfully in the chest
>smacks me upside the head and returns to the group
Fuck swedes, they're all racist assholes.
>>
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>be about 6 years old
>on holiday in Greece
>in a souvenir shop, see a realistic looking toy snake
>mom buys it for me
>I go outside
>decide to prank people
>put in on a stone between some bushes
>go a few metres away and watch how people react
>some Steve Irwin-like guy shows up
>looks at the snake
>picks up a stick from the ground
>tries to catch it
>realizes the snake is fake
>takes it and goes away
>didn't know how to explain to my mom what the fuck happened
Not really embarrassing but very awkward
>>
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My older sister caught me masturbating with her dirty soccer socks when I was 15
>>
>>53056759
Hope that's true.
>>
Not embarrassing but certainly uncomfortable. I swear i am not making this up. This happened to me a couple of years ago when i was visiting a friend in the states.

>In some Mall, doing some shopping
>White couple entered the elevator with me with their little 3-5 year old girl. Both of us were going for the sixth floor or something.
>The first thing the girl did was hugging my legs, her head was straight into my crotch
>I froze in my place, I didn't know what to do
>The mother kind of panicked snatching her away
>"Heh, kids, r-right?" the dad laughed nervously, not knowing what to do, I smiled.
>They awkwardly stared at each other until we reached the sixth floor
>>
>>53056137
>I was a party
then who was phone?
>>
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>>53044472
HOW do you spurge out that bad jesus christ
>>
>be 14 or 15
>masturbating in bed with the sheets pulled over me to some porn on the laptop
>my whole body is covered even my head
>earbuds in my ears
>older sister comes in out of nowhere (it was like 2 am)
>says she needs the laptop
>didnt hear her
>she just rips the sheets open
>im just lying naked furiosly fapping
>she casually takes the laptop and leaves
>we never talk about it again
>>
>spent a night masturbating and slept 2 hours
>next day
>have to present a project at my uni
>fall asleep mid-sentence
>made fun of for the rest of the year
>>
>>53057396
>spent a night masturbating
how
>>
>>53042562
I used to hump my auntie's leg when I was like 4 or 6years old. And my parents never did anything to prevent me from doing such a retarded crap. Everyone just allowed me to do it for some reason.

These are my most early recordation of my life due to how embarrassing they are. I just honestly wish for the few who know to have a peacefully dead so that these recordation can die as well.
>>
Got too drunk once and ended up licking cheese from a girls toe at a party once.
>>
>>53057332
Top kek

I used to sleep in the same room as my sister. Masturbation was rather complicated but I managed many times.
>>
>>53057570
>when you last too long even while masturbating
>look at clock
>4AM
even I don't know
>>
>>53056529
lmao
>>
>>53048798
holy shit I thought I was the only one
>>
>first year of high school
>had a crush on a girl
>my buddy told one of our common friends (with the girl) that I like the girl one day
>later that day, just after the end of school, I see her as we walk out the school
>say fuck it to myself and approach her
>"girlname! hello! (all in a voice so unnaturally calm and macho without intent)
>"hey?"
>"I am autistictĂĽrko"
>"o-okay?"
>"well, I've been liking you from far for sometime, and wanted to meet you"
>"alright, i guess"
Don't even remember what i said and i probably said nothing. the plan was to add her on fagbook plus use the common friend to create a ground but i never talked to her online and didn't use the common friend either.
it is not too embarassing -for 4chan standards- perhaps. I was very relieved after that anyway and i didn't care for her as much after talking to her
>>
>Be at Uni
>See a girl sitting alone
>Bravely go up and talk to her like the fucking lionheart I am
>Ask if I can sit with her
>Just as I sit down so do about 5 other people
>I just crashed a society meeting before it even started
>Gulp coffee and GTFO of there
>>
>>53056137

next time don't be so pussy and actually stand for yourself
>>
>>53057929
>Turkey
>Embarrassing story isn't getting caught buying oil from ISIS
>>
>work with an extremely hot girl
>keep flirting
>she's always leaning on me and putting her head on me
>one day get boner
>she's leaning on my side while I'm on a phone with a customer
>try to turn away
>instead she half falls and accidentally hit my boner
>jumps back up and laughs
>stopped flirting after that and barely talked to me
>starts dating a chad at my work instead

Feels bad man. I don't even get what the big deal is, she kept touching me and running on me, what did she expect?
>>
>>53058214
She was just trying to have some fun while you had ulterior motives. You're a terrible person tbqh lad.
>>
I used to be an IRL meme-lord when I was already 17 (back in 2012).

>Someone would say something I disagree with and I'd simply say "impliziert" (German for "implying") and then do a costanza face expression, no joke

>same with "mfw", I'd tell someone something dumb that happened and then said "mein Gesicht wenn X" (my face when X) and do another dumb facial expression, like stress or disgust.

>Some guy told me he turned 22 in a few weeks and I'd say "nette Doubles, geil" (nice doubles, awesome)

>said "lel" out loud when someone said something funny.

>Took pictures of myself and captioned them with stupid text, trying to turn myself into a macro image meme and posted it on facebook.

>Saved a picture of a girl I kinda liked and thought it would be hilarious to do one of those "0/10, wouldnt bang" comics by pretending that she's ugly, remember that meme? Like 4-5 people saw it and called me a faggot, threatened to beat me up till I told them it was just a meme and apologized.

I dare anyone to beat my autistic past.
>>
>>53058393
Should have stuck with it to become a mememeister!
>>
>>53058068
desu the most embarassing part is that the girl turned out to be a cringey emogoth that self-loathes, she probably is ashamed of being trade-partners with ISIS :^)
>>
>>53043542
>IM CUM
holy fucking shit
>>
>>53058326
I just wanted the bussi and couldn't control it anymore. You don't know how much she was rubbing against me. Also I tried to turn away because I was busy working. Later she was fired for making out with her new bf at work.
>>
>>53052498
>>
>>53043134
>leaving your room
Fucking normies
>>
>>53058769
I was being ironic lad, don't worry.
>>
>>53042562
I once forgot to seed a torrent
>>
>>53056137
First time I see this pasta not meme arrowed
>>
>>53058326
>She was just trying to have some fun while you had ulterior motives.
As if nobody had ulterior moves. You're quite naĂŻve lad.
>>
>>53059573
Being ironic tbqh.
>inb4 I was only pretending
Said it here already>>53059101
>>
>>53051723

>walk along the street, not a care in the world
>suddenly, no provocation, a horribly embarrassing memory comes into my head
>want to kill self
>>
>12 years old at a party with my 15 yo cousins
>timid as fuck, wish was home playing pokemans
>15 years old hot slut harrass me, saying she would give me a bj
>i still have baby penis and very few pubes
>literally did a 360 and ran away

to this day they still call me a faggot
>>
>>53043370
>his dick is so small nobody can see his boners
>>
>>53058393

my only meme experience was when a friend got shitdrunk at a party. I told him just 'to be himself' to get better.

He was unironically wearing a fedora so i took it and when to the girls at the party, tipping it and saying 'm'Lady'

I found it very funny being drunk, but the girls obviously weren't any meme-lords
>>
>>53042562
getting a joke confession announced through speakers for the school to hear
>>
>>53056001
Absolute gold. Took me minutes to get through that one from laughter
>>
Well I am not really embareased by that right now ( since there is no one left to bully me for it ). It was ten years ago.
I shit my pants in the classroom during the lecture , it was the third year of elementary school. I wasn't really crying or saying anything I just stand up , and walked to a corner to wait there. All my friends understood what happened , they started to laugh the smeel was so bad ( I hear feel it now ). I don't know how it happened then they called my mother , she came to school and I was in the toilet just standing there with my shit all over my pants , it was going down to my feet I could see it coming out of my trotter. She came to the toilet , just washed me up barely so that I could at least walk around. We walked all the way home with my shit still there I could feel it so badly , it took about 20 minutes of hell to get there I wanted to kill myself , jump in front of one of the cars but I couldn't do it. It was just so bad , you guys can bully me even now for it I am used to that...
>>
>>53058393
I would have known better than to be a cancerous fuckface when I was a 14 year old /b/tard.
>>
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When i was 15 i went to my first party and i saw a girl laying in the floor, passed out from drinking so much.
I tried to wake her up, but seeing that she was basicaly in another dimension, i did not waste the oportunity and kissed her (i was a horny teenager and that was the perfect oportunity to practice).
Her mouth tasted like vomit and after 5 or so seconds i gave up, stood up and saw 2 of my friends looking at me. They burst out laughing, told everyone in the party and i just ran back home
Then everyone in school started to make fun of me because of that (the girl did nothing about it, she was a dirty emo whore anyways), and to this day some people still call me "Jorge the Necrophiliac"
>>
>>53046006
>this is one of the more tame boards
>polish cp
>girls from country x/tfw no x gf
>"how can white men even compete"
>>
>>53052498
there are tear rolling down my face
>>
>>53056137
Impossible
>>
>be 6/7
>sent to bed early so parents can have peace and quiet
>it's summer and still light out, older kids still playing outside
>stand on my windowsill and get naked, rub my dick on the window, pick my nose and wipe it on the window
>went to school with some of those kids

Somehow nobody told anybody and I didn't get discovered as a weird sex crazed kid
>>
>>53060587
>Impossible
to be that new?
>>
I full blown shit myself in 7th grade
>>
>14 years old
>wanking
>annoying older brother with a tenancy to just bust into my room to annoy me
>about to climax
>bro bursts into room
>gets a full, clear view of me holding my cock while semen streams out of it
>turns around and shuts the door without saying a word

We haven't mentioned it to this day.
>>
i made a thread and got 0 replies
>>
>>53055028
That's fucking mental
>>
>>53058014
>girls always sit in groups so guys don't hit on them
>yet at the same time expect guys to make the first move
>they also want to be able to pick and choose guys
>yet once they find a guy who their interested in they'll never make the first move and expect him to magically know
I hate women
>>
>>53053380
>Not going to the pub before hand to practice entering
What are you doing? If you are going to be a shut in at least be smart.
>>
This one isn't too weird but it's one of the shittiest experiences of my life.

>be 15
>be at party
>end up getting shots with a girl i like
>she gets dramatically drunk
>i'm quite drunk too
>we end up drunk as fuck kissing on the floor

>hear from people later that she couldn't remember the night
>when she heard she had kissed me she apparently burst out saying "nooo i didn't, not anon"

I tell you, that moment was soul crushing. I somehow expected it, but i really liked her.
>>
>>53062275
To make things worse, her friend thought i had "used her" since me being shitfaced too was apparently unrealistic or something.
>>
>>53062114
>practice entering
How the fuck should be know that it's a basement door?
>>
>>53062421
>>53062275

You literally raped her you fuck.
>>
>>53042562
This New Years Eve I got fucked up and woke up in a hospital bed. I haven't spoken to anyone I was out with but I'm afraid I made a fool of myself.

I've been debating suicide rather than have to face the world. I do this shit too often
>>
>>53058393
this hurts so bad
>>
>>53060455
>Jorge the Necrophiliac

That's a really nice story
>>
>>53062519
That's why he scouts out the area, you fuck.
>>53062586
She raped him too
>>
>>53063948

>women can rape men
>>
>>53063986
0/10
>>
>>53063986
>arabs
>talking about rape
Just because you're experienced in the subject doesn't mean you have to force in your opinion about it everywhere
>>
i once almost accidentally drowned a toddler at a pool because i mistook him for someone else
>>
>>53063986

You dense motherfucker.
>>
>>53056001
Fantastic
>>
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>>53064017

I like forcing though
>>
>>53064106
Kek

Nice bants lad
>>
literally every social interaction i happen to be in ends up as an embarrassment
>>
>>53056529
Your mother is based. I had needed that too
>>
>>53060855
Who would have thought that a 14 year old boy masturbates
>>
>>53056759
You desrved it mohammed
>>
>>53056137
Why boner why?
>>
>>53042562
I got one. Back in high school as part of senior seminar, we had to do a show and tell of demonstrating a skill to the class. This could be pretty much any skill, so I choose how to feed a bearded dragon.
So I drove down, lugged the tank it, mostly because this teacher hated animals and I wanted to try for a bad grade so I could complain. Anyway, got done and I dropped the lid of the tank, breaking the heat bulb off at the base. Well the metal part is still in the socket so a few friends come up to try and figure out how to get it out. Me, being a genius, decided to stick my finger in and just rotate it out from the inside.
I electrocuted myself in front of my senior english class failing to change a fucking light bulb.
>>
Got rejected by a girl, have no confidence anymore, now I browse 4chan and bitch about politics
>>
>>53053048

6 hour late reply but yes, but 6 months later for a completely different reason
>>
>>53043370
>America
>White
>>
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>>53044472
Fucking hell
>>
>>53046970
One of my extremely nerdy socially awkward unattractive STEM friends got his first gf in a dance society at uni and gained a lot of confidence and friends. Another very nerdy STEM friend went through something similar by joining a society and became a BNOC. I'd highly suggest this route; if my 'expected to become an adult virgin' friend could do it, so can you.
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