>>30399403 It's horrible. People try to talk to you constantly even if there is no reason to need to talk and nothing important to say, so when you naturally can't think of any words to say they think you're being rude to them. People think you're stuck up and that you think you're better than them if you don't go around initiating pointless conversation all the time. I don't think I'm better than everyone, but I have no choice but to have reputation of a stuck up asshole.
>>30399403 >high school >be on field trip with older kids I don't know >don't talk at all >two girls behind me on the bus ask me why I don't talk >just shrug >they start getting angry and telling me to stop being quiet >I ignore them >they start slapping me in the back of the head and calling me weirdo >try to hold back the tears >this goes on for like 20 minutes
>>30399587 That's what I've heard too. I think that it's weird, haven't Americans ever heard of shy people? If a person is not very talkative here, he/she is just considered shy or a man of few words, not arrogant.
>>30399208 I honestly admire that loose sense of ..publicity? Some of illiterate savages among you guys often go total rude scums according to liveleak Though I would be so cozy if my cultural code didn't compel me to respect autistic awkward silence in publicity
i talk to strangers on the bus, at stores, and at the gym. well, not really talk, but i make eye contact with people and smile. then usually they will say 'hi' or something, and there is a brief exchange of greetings and sometimes some small talk. nobody seems bothered by it because you can just avoid the eye contact in the first place if you don't want to interact with anybody. i think this works for me because i am a decent looking young white male so everybody wants to be my friend.
>>30398618 >be me 21, pale skin, light brown hair / blue eyes >go to sweden with a rental car >politely ask random pedestrians for directions >they get startled and eyeball me >"excuse me sir/mam, can you help me?" >they just ignore me and walk away rapidly
true story, happened 3 times that day
i mean this is ridiculous, why are scandinavian people so socially retarded?
>>30400993 That's the thing that mystifies me more than anything else. They never do. I have no idea how, but they just create an endless stream of words without even trying. People say even one thing to me and I need to think really hard just to come up with a few words to say back at them, but somehow they can just keep thinking of more word to say indefinitely, it's like a superpower. That's why they think it's so strange when no one is talking.
>>30401130 >go in breaking every social protocol >expect service from random passers-by >insist talking googelymoogely language >might as well be nude, screaming and setting fires >why is everyone so standoffish gee i dunno pierre
>>30401130 >be a swede >minding my own business as I walk to the local reeducation centre >suddenly a fucking french cunt off the starboard bow >"escusi mio seevu pley, could you plesse direct moi to les the bunker fucking" >try to ignore him >"pls respondoi cevu pley, moi how you say, ass, is in need of soume coque fucking" >push a fellow pedestrian into his rape path and catch the earliest flight to australia
>Go to bank. >Professional greeter lady comes up to me. >"Hello! How are you doing today? Can I help you with anything?" >"N-no. I'm fine. Just here to deposit a check." >"I see you're wearing a uniform for a shop. Do you work there? Is it fun to work there?" >"It's alright. It's not much." >"I bet you work very hard. What else are you doing for the rest of the day?" >"I'm sorry. I don't like talking to people..." >She frowns and shrugs her shoulders
>>30401649 >social interaction we are a very sociable people but why would you interact with strangers you dont want to talk to and who dont want to talk to you? why would you put on a fake american smile and talk about inane bullshit with someone you will never ever meet again thats not socializing, thats just being a phony
>>30399354 I can honestly say this is true. Long silences just come off as awkward. If you're among good and understanding friends, this is no problem. But if you're say out to dinner with a few co-workers or something, it's expected of you to participate in lively conversation
>>30398618 Lots of cute girls ride the subway in NY, I occasionally will talk to them, some turn out to be models or actresses sometimes
In America we live off the entropy of chance and excitement, it's different in Europe I guess. Although when I was in Sweden girls usually were thrilled we'd introduce themselves to them in bars and clubs
I don't know why you all are so afraid of each other
>>30401764 Answering a question isn't socializing. When someone asks me for directions, I don't think "GOSH HOW RUDE, HE DOESN'T REALIZE IM HAVING A BAD DAY!" I answer the question because I'm not a 'sperg.
I'm convinced your whole continent is full of aspies, at this point.
>>30402260 Old people sometimes start conversations here too, once an old woman stopped me to ask for the time but then proceeded to talk about everything from F1 drivers to Finland's past presidents and her son. She must've been quite lonely so I didn't mind it.
How are your bosses? In Norway, we treat the hierarchy at work as if it does not exist. We call the boss by whatever name we want, and we openly disagree with him whenever we want. We even make jokes at his expense infront of him, though they always join in on the fun.
I've heard that in the US, you are supposed to treat him with respect, say sir/madam/title, and shy away if he comes around. Basically you are subordinate, and you should act like it. Is any of that true?
>>30402475 Depends on the boss. There's a "boss" boss, and there's a fun boss, and sometimes there's a blending of the two. Generally you treat him with respect but you can call him by first name if you get to know him.
Now, your bosses boss? You better say "sir" when you meet him.
>>30401939 I envy you, if I were to start a conversation with a random girl on the subway, I would probably get ignored or even yelled at. Over here you just don't talk to people you don't know, it's seen as some kind of aggression. But still, we're not nearly as socially retarded as the Swedes.
>>30402475 >work for international company >joke around with yuropean colleagues >everything is open for disscusion >try discussing something with an american colleague for a change >nope.jpeg >I'm a director and you have to do what I say, and what I say is not up to debate >everything he says is wrong
>>30402585 Me neither, I think that I would actually try to start small conversations with strangers if I only knew how to do it. I think that I have to travel to America some day to learn their ways. I like meeting new people.
>>30402653 Sounds like the damn military. I don't think I could effectively work with a man like that, unless it was in a military setting.
>>30402565 So overall a lot more formal, but still room for shenanigans? Many of the foreigners I have met are absolutely horrified by the way me and my coworkers treat our superiors. But they'd be laughed out of the office if they tried any bowing or anything like that here.
>take the seats right behind the second set of doors, behind that glass wall >put my duffle bag up on the outer seat >next stop tons of people enter, clogging the entire bus >immigrant bus driver angrily telling me that "if the bag doesn't have a ticket it doesn't have a seat" over the speaker system >reach around the glass wall and get a ticket for the bag >bus driver now curses over the speaker system calling me an idiot
Two girls from college started talking to me on the bus and kept going on about my eye color and how much they like it. Those whores, why would they do this to me. I just want to be left alone with my autism. Is that too much to ask for?
>>30403054 >tfw you can go an entire normal day without touching a person or even opening your mouth Wake up, eat breakfast, go to school, sit there and listen, go shopping, go home. Feels good to live in autist heaven.
>Be Euro >Come to America on vacation >Having a good time >I buy a sandwich and sit down on a park bench, watching people go by >Feels relaxed man >Hear a rumbling behind me >American waddles up to my bench >He stops for a second and looks at my sandwich, breathing heavily >I'm confused >He points at my sandwich >Still don't understand >He shuffles forward muttering his name, how he has two kids, what the weather is like today >Petrified with fear, I don't understand what is going on >He takes hold of my sandwich and gently tries to pry it from my grip >I am holding back tears >He finally takes half and eats it in front of me, still muttering with a mouth full of bread >He then leans down and wraps his arms around me >Oh dog I am going to get robbed >Starts to hug me >W-What >He smells of grease and sweat >Gently puts me down, I am shaking with fear and unable to move >He gives me a confused look and walks away
>>30403251 >meet someone you are acquainted with, but don't really know or care to know >you also met him last week >you ran through the motions about school, work, family, etc etc last week >have to come up with totally new shit in the blink of an eye Man, it's exhausting. I almost gasp for air when exiting the buss after such a situation. How do extroverts manage to find all those hollow words?
>>30403423 extraverts usually just use a routine of the same old shit. if u hang out long enough with them you'll find them just saying the same stuff over and over again, its even worse with jokes. they hardly ever are witty, they just keep bringing up the same things that aren't even funny to begin with. .
>sitting on a fairly empty train, headphones on, clearly not inviting conversation >see weird looking guy walking down the carriage, can feel what is imminent >"what are you listening to? ;^)" >mumble some vague band >oh, well I like metallica, do you like metallica? >this inane questioning continues for about 10 minutes despite repeated attempts to cold shoulder >only ends once I decide to disembark that train
Is this what being an American feels like?
I can understand an occasional "g'day, how you going?, alright, yourself?, yeah good" (this usually at least has some context) - but like actual out of the blue deep questioning is so obnoxious.
I was in Sweden for a week (both Stockholm and way up north in Lulea), and everyone was polite, friendly, and most people even actually smiled at me. I can only recall one guy who seemed a bit spooked when I asked for directions, and a woman at an internet cafe who was just a moody, stone-faced bitch. Everyone else was nice as pie.
Real shame the country's jumped on the "let's shit everything up with muslims' band wagon, just like us.
>>30403766 No and yes. Depends on where you are. Not everyone is going to start talking to you, you spergs. Most people wont. If someone is feeling it, then you politely talk with him, but most people wont bother
try replying that things are pretty shitty, mostly because the way your parents dealt with your basic sexual and aggressive desires determined how your personality developed and whether or not you would end up well-adjusted as an adult.
they'll fuck right off. they don't really care how you're doing.
never understood why people would ask such a question if all they wanna hear is 'good'
First you need to figure out if they're receptive. Shy people like to talk too; you're just trying to avoid the anti-social. Try to get a feel for their body language. Are they averting their eyes? Do they physically move away from you as you approach?
Next, start with a smile and eye contact. Not prolonged, not creepy. Usually, you start with "hey, how are you?" and that's not actually a question. It's a greeting. And you're expected to say "fine" "good" "not bad" etc... followed by "how are you?" About half the time, the person will not respond in kind. It is not an insult; you're not really asking a question. You're just greeting them.
Next, you start small talk. Common go-to topics are "hey, did you watch that sport event?" "Sure is nice/awful/weird weather we're having." "I love that dress/purse/tie"
Do NOT talk politics. Do NOT talk religion.
From there, you just sort of work your way into a conversation. Your talking partner will make a connection and move the conversation along. Or you will.
a: Hello. how ya doing? b: Oh, I'm fine. How are you? a: Sure is a beautiful day out, isn't it? b: Oh yeah, definitely. I hate all the rain we've been having recently. a: I've lived here for 15 years and the weather isn't usually this intense. b: I moved here 4 years ago. I'm originally from Houston. a: No kidding? I have a brother who lives in Houston. He moved there to work in the medical tech industry there. b: Well, Houston is definitely the place to go. a: He enjoys it there. b: Shame the Astros have been so awful though. a: I'm a Cardinals fan myself. It's weird that they're not in the NL anymore. b: What do you think about Pujols over with the Angels?
etc etc... maybe person a has a family member in California and they'll talk about something there. Maybe person a isn't much of a baseball fan and they'll talk about football next. It just goes back and forth and you learn about what the person does for a living, their family, etc...
>>30399587 Usually there's at least one girl looking at me in the public transport, I'm not even that hadsome I'm just average. They stare but never say anything and I'm just too aspergers to start a conversation with a strange girl. In those situations I just look away and ''watch them'' with the corner of my eye, some of them stare me so fucking much that the awkwardness is unbearable and I have to get off the bus. I never think of something to say, with all those strangers hearing at your conversation it's fucking difficult.
>>30404440 I would say it depends on the individual asking, we're pretty Americanised when it comes to bullshittery and small talk for no reason. But that doesn't mean everyone is doing it just for the sake of small talk.
You're taking words too literally. Words aren't concrete ideas concentrated into disjoint building blocks. Words are more like the notes of communication. You only get a melody by putting them together. And one word may mean something else when put in one context than it will in another.
Yes, literally "how are you" is asking about your wellbeing. But when used at the start of a conversation, it's just showing that you have basic manners. Not asking "how are you" makes you come off as rude. But even in asking it, you don't actually give a fuck about how the person is.
>>30405099 do you americanos suddenly start bothering people with dozens of questions and boring smalltalk just because they make one second eye contact with you on the street as they pass you by? what the fuck man?
>had a long day >sit in the train on my way home >fall asleep with my mouth open >suddenly wake up >make a weird sound while I wake up >qt across looks at me with a strange look >emberassed and quickly grab my phone
>>30404803 I just want people to use greetings instead of asking me how I am when they don't give a bloody damn. Just allow me to be reserved and not want to converse in length with random people about things neither of us really give a toss about just so they can appear to be 'polite' call me an autist but i'd rather silence or just a polite greeting then returning to our own business.
Some wonna did this to me once, and she tried to see what cind of a person i am. She just had a feeling about These this. One of the things she said was that i wasnt good with children, and i'm a Kindergarten assistent. Lol'd so hard when i got of the bus
>>30403232 That sounds perfect, I wish I lived in Finland and didn't have to put up with everyone speaking to me when I'm going about my daily business. It's a shame that your language is too hard to learn
>Some dude starts talking with me on the bus >Panic >Say something along the lines of ''y..you too.'' >Got off at the next stop >Walked around the block so it seemed I had to get off and got on the next bus I can't take the pressure. Who knows this feel?
>>30401764 this guy's got a good point, that's really how I feel whenever having a conversation with a random person. at least, with someone I don't know too personally. I feel like acknowledging each other in a friendly way would be enough
In my experience scandis arent reallyany more introvert than brits.
I travel on public transport into and out of and around london, I never speak to anyone and certainly wouldnt strike up a conversation
However in shops/the street its different and i think scandilands are similar. When i was in Finland people were chill as fug, regularly spoke to me, especially once they realised I was english.
Same in Iceland, Norway and Sweden. Never been to Denmark but id be surprised if its that different.
I don't think its unreasonable to be unsocial in an unsocial environment like a bus. I didn't come to a bus to chat to people so its not in my frame to do it. I came to a bar to socialise so I will do it. People in bars/restaurants or whatever are social everywhere ive been
What really russels my jammies is when people confuse "asocial" for "anti-social", shy and reserved people are not anti-social, that would assume they actively go against social norms, "asocial" is when you don't partake in it
>>30407248 >Rode the bus home in High School >Got in, sat down. >Friend was absent, so I sat alone. >Tall, skinny, white guy gets on the bus >Smells fucking horrible >Spends the whole bus ride talking to me about how great Insane Clown Posse is.
>>30408514 As opposed to walking around with your head down never making eye contact hoping no one notices you. That shit is legitimately the domain of the autistic here. No exaggeration. No ebin may may. It's literally autistic.
You yuropoors don't know the half of it. If you're eating in a restaurant by yourself other lone diners will come up and try to join you. Especially if it's a more informal place, in university it used to happen to me literally every time I ate at the dining halls regardless of how many open tables there were. This country is hell if you can't make small talk.
>>30414451 No. I went to Venezuela to see family and it was awful. Every single person you see wants to hug you and become best friends. They are completely fucking insane on a level that yuros wouldn't even be able to comprehend. Even the most obnoxiously "friendly" southerner would be put off by it.
I guess the one thing I don't get is all the people say "what do you even talk about" or "what if you don't have anything to say" line to you map out and color code your conversations before they even begin? The point of these conversations isn't utilitarian, it's to pass the time, get a sense of the people around you, maybe hear something interest or make an acquaintance. And if you don't want to talk you can generally tune out of a conversation and they'll get that you don't want to talk.
I feel bad for girls though. If a girl says she doesn't want to talk everyone calls her a bitch and sometimes they get really scary angry
>>30418529 This was in 2007, so things hadn't completely reached war zone levels of shittiness at that time. And when your abuelita is having life saving major surgery with uncertain outcomes, you drop what you're doing and go there.
>>30420131 Thanks. It turned out pretty well, that woman is a fucking tank. She's had two separate strokes on both sides of her brain and she just keeps on going even at 80+ years and only needs minor assistance. I'm really glad to have inherited genes from her since she's virtually invincible.
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