Ego and Art

>>2357548
I struggled with the same thoughts for almost all my time drawing, worsening for each stroke I put down. Every session the self-criticism got harsher, and in the end I slowly but surely put down the pencil. Today I don't draw anymore. It has been around four to five months since I last drew. It was truly debilitating and I know exactly what you mean. I have tried asking the same question as you have earlier, but I don't believe there's a simple fix.

just draw ya nerd

>>2357548
when I finish a drawing it looks good.
when I look again it looks shit.
The third time it looks fine, just not perfect.

Remember your more likely to see the flaws in your own work, and that there are people out there who claim stuff below you is perfection (I mean have you been on deviantart)

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Lurker here.

No matter what you do, you're going to suck shit at first. I've been lifting weights for four years, and this year I'll be breaking 500lbs in my deadlift; I couldn't pull 200 for months. I've been working on cars for 1 year, and I broke everything I touched when I started.

Same for drawing, I'm a beginner and my drawing sucks, but sucking is the first step to becoming proficient, you HAVE to suck. Everyone who's good has gotten through that stage at some point.

Don't be hard on yourself OP, we're all gonna make it.

>>2357548
>They're worthless beginner trash and so I'm worthless beginner trash

and you are right. you filthy subhuman peon.

we've all been there though. don't worry about removing the self-worth-link, it's impossible. that's why art is so fucking hard.

Good news if you start hating your recent drawings that means you improved!

>>2357980
or they really are bad drawings that he doesn't put effort in. everyone is capable of making bad drawings, even the best artists, if they do it purpose or just don't try at all.

You have to treat art like looking at yourself in the mirror. Nobody is more aware of their own flaws than themselves (autists aside), but with effort, you can and will improve.

>>2357580
come on man this doesnt answer the question

i recommend identifying EXACTLY what you arent liking about your drawings, work on that until you get better at it and then move on to the next element.

look back at your old drawings for motivation if you need to. cticize yourself but dont overdo it. be methodical in your improvement like an athlete is.

you dont suck because you are a beginner, you dont suck because you arent good at something specific. It just means you need to work hard and smart for longer

>>2357548
>I've heard that linking your self worth to your work is bad for you and your productivity, but how can I remove said link?
you're getting into some existential shit here mate. everyone does this- we associate our 'self' with our belongings, the work we produce, our beliefs, etc. part of discovering oneself is discovering that YOU are not your thoughts. Meditation practices (both Buddhist and Christian) are often about observing ones thoughts (from which one's work and all else originate) without identifying with them.

>>2358079
Have you by any chance've been reading a book called "the power of now"? Cause that sounds kind of exactly what the book is about.

>>2358120
I've read a lot of religious literature. Eckhart Tolle's "power of now" and "a new earth" are among them. I've also read Meister Eckhart, Tolle's namesake, and various Buddhist books that have to same sort of message.

Eckhart Tolle is best for those who aren't used to a religious vocabulary, understanding Meister Eckhart requires (or is at least aided by) some background in Christian theology.

>>2357548

I fucking hate this style with huge brushstrokes so much. It's so fucking ugly.

STOP DOING IT!!!

>>2358255

I love it, keep doing it folks

There's nothing wrong with feeling bad when your work is bad unless you feel so shitty about it that you're afraid to fail, and thus afraid to experiment.
It's totally normal to go "that didn't go as planned and that's disappointed" but what you need is the ability to get back up on the horse.

The real problem with ego and art is when you take criticism of your art as a personal attack. That's the element of "linking your self worth to your art" which is a bad idea. It's when you like your art too much and can't stand people telling you it's bad that you have a problem, not when you dislike when you screw up. We all hate fucking up, it's normal and it drives us to get better so we fuck up less in the future.

When you feel like your work is trash, look back at your earlier, trashier work and take stock of your improvement. This isn't easy in the first few months when literally everything you do looks garbage but eventually over the months you'll start to see your baseline improve, and it can be heartening to look back at those trash sketchbooks you did. Consider all those garbage drawings an investment into your future, there's the saying that every artist has a few thousand bad drawings in him that he needs to get out.

>>2358255
Or you could just not look at it and paint in a way that suits your tastes.

I'm struggling with this right now, so my advice probably isn't worth much. However, trying to help someone might help me too, so I figure it's worth a shot.

Try to remove yourself from the drawings. Celebrate and encourage the act of drawing, not the results. When you've filled up 2 pages of a sketchbook, don't look at the results to measure your success. Pay attention to the fact that you now have 2 more pages under your belt. Pencil mileage is of utmost importance. Don't focus on how you're doing, focus on how much.

Treat it as a numbers game. Most of drawing-improvement is just doing more, so focus on that. Do whatever it takes to make sure you do more. Do you need to predominantly draw the things you like to get that pencil-mileage up? Then do it. Do you need to do less drawing every day so you can keep it going for a longer period of time? Then lower your daily goal. Do you need to challenge yourself with a progress bar of some kind? Do it.

Don't worry about doing it 'right' until you've done it a lot. It's easier to tweak and fine-tune a habit then it is to start a habit 'right'.

Only other things I could suggest is to take some time and observe yourself. Ask questions until you get to the heart of the problem. Keep asking why. Be honest yet gentle. Patience is key. Break it down into little pieces and tackle it one step at a time.

I have no idea if this will help. Right now, I'm trying to figure out if I even like drawing enough to devote myself to it, or if my problem is with discipline/etc. It could be either, or it could be both. idfk. Good luck m8, and remember to treat yourself kindly. Positive thinking and meditation could help too.

>>2357548
Compare ur old and new art. Pat urself on the back n say i was shit but i improved. Then tell urself if u keep working u will keep improving. Look at old art time to time to remind urself

>>2357548
I was exactly like that but recently it got better. Since i joined LAS i just draw to fill the day's quota and it really relieves the pressure when the goal isn't perfection but the work you put in.

>>2358394
Not him, but some of my best work is my past work. It can have a negative effect too.

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>>2358398
OP here and seconding this. Feel like I should be better since I have done good portraits/figures/paintings/whatever in the past, so when I fail at the simplest things it's discouraging.

>>2358397
I've been doing LAS since day 1 too, and my productivity has improved, but I want to post work I'm not ashamed of and that takes like 5 pieces until something is half decent.

>>2358389
>Be honest yet gentle. Patience is key.

That sounds like something I need more of. I did the numbers game for almost two years and just wound up working myself to death for not very much. Being more patient and helpful with myself like I am when I give crits to other people might be better than being brutally, cruelly honest about how bad things are.

Thanks anons.

>>2358413
yep, try to treat yourself like you would a dear friend going through the same problem. For whatever reason, it's so easy to be cruel to ourselves, when we wouldn't even treat a stranger like that.

You're the best friend you'll ever have. Treat yourself like it. Weird way to look at it, but it helps me.

>>2358456
>easy to be cruel to ourselves, when we wouldn't even treat a stranger like that.
Have you been on /ic.? 90% of the posters here are sour jealous cunts that will never amount to anything and want everyone else to feel that way too.

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>>2357548
This is what i did when i first started out, assuming you're still kinda new to art.
I did whatever the fuck i wanted to. I drew solely what i wanted. No fucks given. I did this because i knew i wouldnt be able to create something that looked good, so i instead just drew lots and had fun while doing so. By doing this you gain mileage, which is pretty fucking important. The pic i attatched is what i drew from mid march til early june, front and back filled with just doodles and stupid shit. By doing this i came to appreciate art more and more as time went on, it also got me used to drawing lots.
Something i dont get is why you would feel bad for being terrible. Ofcourse you're gonna be shit, it takes years to git gud, unless you're some prodigy or something. So instead acknowledge that you're shit, accept it, you're gonna be shit for the next 1-3 years probably. The more work you do and the more deliberate you are with your studying the faster you'll git gud, so stop feeling bad and accept failure.

>>2358300
>>2358300
>>2358300

This x 1000.

Some nice posts in this topic. Respect !

>>2358461
Ya m8, of course. A sour jealous cunt doesn't act like a sour jealous cunt because they're kind to themselves. Remember, you're talking about artists who shitpost on an anon imageboard for art. They're consumed by negativity and cope by shitting on other people. But no amount of shitposting will ever match the amount of internal-shitposting they do to themselves.

In other words, imagine having that sour jealous cunt in your head.

>>2357548

Also gonna add in:

Mastery: The Keys to Success and Long-Term Fulfillment by George Leonard
It's helpful, I find myself rereading it.
No bullshitting fluff.

The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks and Win Your Inner Creative Battles
Good read, helps you to identify the negativity within you- procrastination and etc, and kick their asses with your determination.

I can give a list if you want.

And OP (and for others as well),

An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy.

“It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.” He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”

The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”

Also, it's gonna be long battle with the negativity so you'll get better and better if you keep being stronger than negativity. I know that I face it sometimes and I'm still struggling. You can do it.

Avoid shitposters at all costs because they aren't doing something productive. Sure, some people post negative but realistic stories on /ic/ but take it with grain of salt, take them as lessons and information rather than doubts.

Remember, you're on your own path, very different from them and their paths despite the same field/course (art).


>>2358159
Ah, it sounds interesting. I'm going to give it a try.

You kinda have to accept it. Kinda.
I think what you lack is your faith in yourself. I don't want to be dramatic but you need to build a certain amount of trust for yourself that you can improve your art if you put constant effort into it. After you realize consistency really gets you going and you're seeing little improvements here and there, then you start to really look for it. Not improving fast enough? You probably aren't drawing enough.
Of course everyone has those days/weeks where you suddenly realize you aren't as good as you thought. But you have to let it motivate you to try even harder so you get closer to your expectation again. It's the nature of growth. You stud heads for a while and you think you got it. But a week later you might see your drawing and think wow this looks terrible. Then you go back to study heads again. Rinse and repeat. It's frustrating but you'll see that you've been growing the entire time when you look back.

Also, it's always nice to talk to other artists to help them motivate you. (well i guess that's what this thread is for) Art is a pretty emotional journy and sometimes all you really need is someone to tell you that you're improving and that you just have to push through. I also think most people can really relate to how you feel. I personally had a lot of moments where I want to punch a baby in the face but if that happens, I take a little break. Take a deep breath and tell yourself that it's okay. I find that humor is quite the way to go as well. Something looks funny and weird? Laugh it off! That's kinda how I deal with it anyway. Good luck OP

>>2358547
I love the phrase 'internal shitposting'. This thread is full of great posts.

>>2358547
>shitposting
talking about own negative throughts
>your neurons are annons
>your brain an imageboard with all kind of faggots
desu that's deep senpai

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qb0g_gWrNf8

Watch this video OP