Post Retarded Stories of Normies That Don't Know History Thread
>In class on rise of Nazi Germany in Highschool
>Well into course, been taught all the basics I.e Volksgemeinshcaft.
>Girl raises hand
>Sir, what's the Third Reich
>pic related mfw
You have to be 18 to post on 4chan
>>3306600
>mandatory "Roots of Contemporary Issues" history lite class in college
>talking about WWII
>woman raises hand
>"was that the one with Japan"
>roll my eyes in back of class
> realize I was being a condescending prick
>she didn't know and wanted to learn
>she learned
>I found this absurd because I had already learned
everyone has to learn
>first week of a History unit on 18th century conflict between Britain and France
>third/second university unit
>map of Europe is shown
>girl raises her hand and asks where Northern Ireland
Not that stupid, but it's all I have.
Has /his/ got any stories of absolute historical or humanities related retardation that you have heard?
<Back when I was a lilfag, in year 11 English.
<Presenting Research Assignment on Communism, get to part where I begin to talk about Karl Marx.
<Say "Karl Marx, a prevalent figure in communist, was born to a middle class family in the East of Prussia"
<Interjected by teacher, who's an ugly 20yr old Asian lady, obsessed with anime and WoW.
<"Don't you mean Russia, anon?"
<"No.... I mean Prussia"
<"Anon Prussia isn't a real place, class he means Russia.".
By this point I'm too shocked to say anything and I just continue my speech.
>using leftypol redtext
b8 or reddit or lobotomized or any thereofwhich apply
>>3306393
Sorry I had a seizure
>>3306377
>prussia isn't a real place
Fuck her
Also fuck back off to lefty pol
STOP EATING FOOD
Make me fgt
>>3306213
No
>>3306213
My children dont count as food right?
First let's start by the Roman expansion in the Iberian Peninsula before their conflicts with the Lusitanians started
Pic related is the Iberian Peninsula in 197 BC - After conflicts in the end of III century BC, the Romans divide the Peninsula into Hispania Ulterior and Hispania Citerior
The Turdetani, a tribe in Southern Iberia as you can see on the map on 3/, rises against their Roman Governor.
Equally, on Northwestern Iberia in Hispania Citerior, the Tuboletae revolt too, but are easily crushed. Their lands are divided between the Bastetani and Edetani tribes and the Tuboletae end up disappearing.
195 BC - Cato the Elder becomes consul and assumes control of the Hispanias. He puts down rebellions in the Northeast
On the same year, he marches South and finally puts down the Turdetani rebellions.
193 BC - The Vacceos, Vettones and Lusones start to see their lands threatened and make an alliance. They are defeated near Toletum then they take refuge in the Lusone city of Contrebia Belaisca, which is taken by Consul Marco Flaco. Their rebellion is over.
>>3306146
181 BC - The Lusones and other Celtiberian tribes revolt again. They invade Hispania Ulterior beginning the First Celtiberian War.
179 BC - Tiberius Sempronius Gracchus defeats the Celtiberian tribes in Moncayo, ending the First Celtiberian War.
The Romans continue their expansion until, in 156 BC, their territories in Iberia look like pic related
155 BC - Since the Romans were getting too close, the Lusitanians and the Vettones, the 2 Pre-Celtic tribes of Europe form an alliance
On the same year, under the command of Punicus and Cesarus, this powerful alliance defeats the Romans until they reach Gibraltar
However, they are defeated in the Battle of Gibraltar by Praetor Lucius Mummius. The Lusitanian War officialy begins (155 BC)
A little curiosity, the Lusitanian War in Greek is called 'Pyrinos Polemos', which means 'Fiery War'.
154 BC - The Lusitanians successfully pillage through Baetica(Andalusia today). The Belli start to enlarge their fortification in Segeda
The Romans understand this is an infraction of the treaty made in 179 BC. The Belli ignore them & continue to enlarge the fortification
The Romans are obviously not pleased with the actions of the Belli tribe. As such, the Second Celtiberian War begins in 154 BC.
153 BC - The Romans start to act and invade Segeda. Most Belli end up taking refuge in Numantia, a city of the Arevaci tribe.
Consul Quintus Fulvius Nobilior completely destroys Segeda. However, he is ambushed by the Celtiberian leader Caros
In spite of this ambush, Nobilior manages to reach Numantia and spends the winter there. The conflicts with the Celtiberians continue
152 BC - Marcus Marcellus replaces Nobilior. He succesfully takes the cities of Ocilis and Nertobriga. The Numentians surrender and the first phase of the 2nd Celtiberian War comes to an end.
On the other side of Hispania, the Lusitanian/Vettone alliance continues to inflict heavy losses on the Roman Legions.
>>3306155
Besides killing lots of men, they manage to raid the Mediterranean coast. The Romans turn to other means to deal with the alliance
151 BC - The Lusitanian genocide happens. Servius Galba and proconsul Lucius Lucullus invite thousands of Lusitanians into peace talks
However, they were to go without any weapons. The Romans betray the Lusitanians and kill 10000 on the spot. Thousands others were sold into slavery, incluiding women and children. This ended the first phase of the Lusitanian War.
The Romans would soon regret this. Unbeknownst to the Romans, a man named Viriathus had escaped the genocide
Pic related is a statue of Viriathus
This man, who was originally a brigand and then a farmer, retreated to the mountains and began to plan his revenge for the genocide
Viriathus managed to regroup the remaining Lusitanians and unite all of the different Lusianians tribes as 1 to go all out on the Romans
147 BC - Viriathus is finally acclaimed Leader of all the Lusitanian peoples thus begininng the 2nd and last phase of the Lusitanian war
Viriathus decided the best way to fight the Romans was through guerrilla warfare. He would bait the Romans into the woods, since the Lusitanians knew their forests very well. They would remain hidden and when the time was right, strike the Romans with javelins from hiding places. They would then retreat further into the woods, only to do something similar again until the legions were gone.
This proved to be very effective, and that was the reason armies of 2000 Lusitanians could end up beating Legions of 10000 and more men
143 BC- Viriathus forms an alliance with several Celtic and Celtiberian tribes. Thus begins the 2nd phase of the 2nd Celtiberian War
On the same year, Governor Quintus Macedonicus attacks the land of the Vettones, but is defeated due to the powerful tribal alliance
142 BC - Fabius Servilianus, new Consul of Hispania Ulterior, sacks cities loyal to Viriathus
>>3306170
Viriathus decides to lead a new campaign in response to these sacks. He ends up defeating Fabius in Erisane (Baetica) and goes as far as the coasts of Murcia. After this defeat and due to previous humilliations, Fabius declares Viriathus a friend of Rome.
This would only last a year. After this decision of Fabius arrived in Rome, this was considered humilliation and restarted the war
The Romans send a new general, Servilius Cipianus, with orders to completely wipe out the Lusitanians and put an end to the war
140 BC - Servilius defeats the Lusitanian/Vettone armies in Hispania Ulterior, forcing them to take refuge in their original lands
The conflicts with the Lusitanians continue, but Servilius fails to take the Lusitanian lands and the Romans keep losing their legions
Viriathus manages to force Servilius to negotiate a final peace treaty so the Romans would leave the Lusitanians alone once and for all
139 BC - Viriathus sends 3 Tartessian allies to make peace with the Romans. Their names are Audax, Ditalcus and Minurus
The Romans knowing the Senate wanted to take control of all Iberia (no exceptions) and that there was no other way to defeat Viriathus decide to bribe these 3 men. General Marcus Lenas bribed them. Viriathus is killed on his sleep by these 3 Tartessians on 139 BC
Pic related is another statue of Viriathus
With the death of Viriathus, the Lusitanian War is officially over, after 16 years.
139 BC - Tautalus is nominated the new leader of the Lusitanians. He leads a campaign against the Romans, but it fails
The Lusitanians will continue to rebel against the Romans, but not on the same scale as it was with Viriathus.
138 BC - General Marcus Laenas doesn't recognise the peace treaty with the Arevaci made in 141 BC. Final phase of Numantine War begins
The Romans try various incursions on Numantia, but are always warded off by the Celtiberian tribes.
How old is Egypt, really?
>>3305982
not as old as you're mothra HOH
>>3305982
at least 7000 years
>>3305982
4200 years
Did renaissance painters even seen cats before?
haha epic post,psl hsve an upbaot
>>3305952
I'm serious. How did they do this? Were cats different?
>>3305946
how did they paint other animals?
This is King Kamehameha the Great, he conquered all of the Hawaiian Islands and established the empire that would eventually become the 51st American state.
Say something nice about him.
WUZ
PINEAPPLES
August 29
1350 – Battle of Winchelsea (or Les Espagnols sur Mer): The English naval fleet under King Edward III defeats a Castilian fleet of 40 ships.
1498 – Vasco da Gama decides to depart Calicut and return to Kingdom of Portugal.
1521 – The Ottoman Turks capture Nándorfehérvár (Belgrade).
1526 – Battle of Mohács: The Ottoman Turks led by Suleiman the Magnificent defeat and kill the last Jagiellonian king of Hungary and Bohemia.
1541 – The Ottoman Turks capture Buda, the capital of the Hungarian Kingdom.
1778 – American Revolutionary War: British and American forces battle indecisively at the Battle of Rhode Island.
1911 – Ishi, considered the last Native American to make contact with European Americans, emerges from the wilderness of northeastern California.
1944 – Slovak National Uprising takes place as 60,000 Slovak troops turn against the Nazis.
1966 – Leading Egyptian thinker Sayyid Qutb is executed for plotting the assassination of President Gamal Abdel Nasser.
1991 – Supreme Soviet of the Soviet Union suspends all activities of the Soviet Communist Party.
I'm confused.
Gorbachev didn't disolve the USSR until December 21, 1991
>>3306553
You sound like an idiot. USSR simply continued on as a non-communist state for a short while.
>>3306560
for what purpose?
How do I meet God (or the gods)?
How do I form a relation with God(s)?
>>3305729
Not a question anyone here will help you with
Ask a holy man
>>3305729
Strap 30lbs of plastic explosives onto yourself and walk right into a public space and you'll get a free chance to meet Allah.
>>3305729
Hey there little human, why do you want to meat me and what exactely do you mean by "relation"? it better not be some sodomical stuff!
I think enough time has passed since 1947 where I can safely admit it. I wish I was the guy who finally wiped that annoying smirk off the Black Dahlia's face
>>3305642
According to Larry Harnisch's hypothesis, it was indeed someone who just didn't like her attitude.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3qv7Xd2U2n0
The prime suspect was a doctor, which would make sense considering her dissection.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_Hill_Hodel
>>3306112
>https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_Hill_Hodel
A doctor, but Walter Bayley, not George Hodel.
I'm not sure if this is the right board but I am looking for advice. I was born a Roman Catholic and baptised, but was never involved with the church. I have been agnostic for at least 6 years now, but after reading about Joan of Arc I was inspired to give it another try. How should I go about converting? Like I said I have already been baptised, but is there a process to officially join the church?
>>3305585
look up RCIA and call up a local church. good call op i need to do the same.
>converting to the worst and most cucked christian sect
I hope you like being around mexicans op
>>3305585
You don't even have to go to church, just pray everyday and be a good person.
>post historical figure and how to fictionalized it to become a box office hit with possible title
>actor desired to represent them
>which Hollywood qt would you insert into the film for love interest
I'll Start.
Tancred de hauteville
Movie Title: Antioch
Actor: Alex Pettyfer
Make it about the reclaiming of the holy land but make it pc so there isn't too many killings of Turk Muslims. Make it seem like Tancred was the only good guy among the Christian crusaders and actually honored the Turks. Basically just a rip off of Kingdom of Heaven but a bit more epic and in the end make it seem like Antioch was a place where Christians and Muslims could find peace because Tancred made it so. Also almost completely disregard Bohemond.
Qt actress: Sofia Boutella. Shes Algerian and could be Tancred' s turkish wife
>>3305345
>>3305350
>>3305345
>>3305345
Peter the Great vs. Charles the XII. But an eight-hour miniseries
What if China had stayed disunited thanks to the warlord period, and neither the CCP nor the KMT had managed to take it all over after the Japanese left?
Would there be separate recognised sovereign states like the Kingdom of Sichuan, the Guangdong Republic, the People's Republic of Manchuria, a Republic of China rump state, and so on, with changes of borders by military force frowned on by the international community? Or would there be a single recognised legitimate government that has carte blanche to put down "provinces in revolt"?
>>3305208
Probably the US would back whoever was against the communists and the USSR would back whoever was for the communists. Ending up with a communist USSR-backed North China and a nationalist US-backed South China.
>>3305208
The korean war would have happened in china
>>3305208
China was recognized as an unitary state during the warlord period by foreign powers. I don't see why that would change.
The hell happened here?
>>3305100
Dravidiniggers got crushed by WHITE ARYAN SUPERMEN!
>>3305100
>Gujarat in charge of staying independent
>ever
>>3305100
Sakaniggers.
Was it autism or psychopathy?
It was what Germany wanted for the region in WW1. The second time around they were just more forward about it.
>>3304874
A G*rm has no brain, no soul, and no culture.
>>3304874
It mostly came forth as a mix between Germany's desperate need for resources to achieve self-sufficiency and the ideological belief that the Slavs and other eastern-europeans are inferior.
The land itself is rich in wheat, coal, iron, and further into the Caucasus you have the big ticket item, oil. Ideology shaped the argument that any resources spent on inferior beings is better put to use for ethnic Germans and the empowerment of the German state, so those living on the land they conquered had to be eliminated in order to make room for colonization and resource extraction.
Of course this idealized thinking couldn't be carried out fully in a realistic setting, as any military thinker would tell you throughout history, it's a terrible idea to subject conquered/occupied civilians to mass murder and extermination, advice against this is written as early as Sun Tzu's Art of War and Machiavelli's The Price.
Didn't mean the Germans didn't try though, with the Baltic States and Belarus/Ukraine having their civilian populations culled by as many as 20-30% over the course of occupation, but this wholesale killing of civilians just stoked fire for resistance movements, being a thorn in Germany's side the entire time by blowing up railways and ammunition depots as the Red Army beat them back.