Cold War jokes thread lads
>Deep 50's. Two american astronauts land on Mars. They exit thei vehicle and quickly start making plans. "Imagine - says one - there we will plant wheat. Whole fields of wheat to support the settlement, that will be built over there. Next to it, a monument shall stand. Two statues of the very first men to walk the surface of Mars." Suddenly, a alien appears from behind a rock. "Sorry lads. There was this short baldie here and apparently Bce бyдeт кyкypyзoй"
>Khruschev and Kennedy decide to be cryogenically frozen for 50 years to see who will win cold war. After they wake up, Khruschev buys a newspaper. He sees the front page and starts laughing. The headline says FIRST CHAIRMAN OF THE AMERICAN COMMUNIST PARTY DECLARES ANOTHER FIVE-YEAR PLAN. "See - says Khruschev - It had to be us who came on top." Kennedy grabs the paper from here, opens it and cries from laughter. "What's so funny?" Khruschev asks. JFK just points to a small article "MINOR CLASHES ON SINO-POLISH BORDER"
>Rabinovich is scolded by his superior at work: "Why haven't you been on the last party meeting?" "Oy vey, if I knew it's the last one, I would bring my whole family there!"
>Museum of the October Revolution. Tour guide shows a skeleton of a Civil War hero, Chapayev to the tourists. Suddenly one asks about a smaller skeleton next to it. "Oh - says the guide - it's Chapayev as a child."
>Minor party meeting in a backwater town in Russia. The local chairman speaks: "...And I am certain, that in ten years we will have true communism. Not only in Russia, not only in the entire Soviet Union, but in the entire world!" He is interrupted by a voice from the audience: "I am not scared, fucker! I have cancer!"
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stierlitz
In the Reich Chancellery cantina a line waits for the daily dinner. Suddenly Stierlitz strolls in, goes to the front of the line and gets his food. Himmler, Goebbels and Goring look in awe, outraged. Yet, how could they know that pregnant women and those awarded with Hero of the Soviet Union medal are served first?
>Hitler discusses war plans in his HQ. Stierlitz walks in with a basket of oranges, takes out his pocket camera, takes pictures of the maps and walks out. "Who the fuck is this guy? What does that mean?!" Hitler screams. "It's Stierlitz, Soviet spy, mein Fuhrer."/ "Well, arrest him then!"/ "No point. He will just say he brought oranges."
>Stierlitz comes to work drunk, in pissed trousers and his uniform unbuttoned. On 23 February, the day of the Red Army, he wants to look and feel like a true Russian officer.
>Stierlitz comes to Cafe Elefant and orders beer. They are out. Vodka? - Out. Wine? - out. Any liquor? - Out. That is when Stierlitz knew the Moscow connection arrived day earlier than expected.
>Stierlitz comes into Schellenberg's office and says: "Parteigenosse, I report that in Bormann's safe I found two bottles of Soviet vodka!". What, Issayev, you think you are the only one who is homesick for motherland?"
Wow old Soviet jokes were really profound
I'm from ex-Yugoslavia and only jokes we ever had were about Bosnians. Can't remember anything political tbqh
“Comrade Stalin, we have so many potatoes that, piled one on top of the other, they would reach all the way to God,” the farmer excitedly tells his leader.
“But God does not exist,” replies Stalin.
“Exactly,” says the farmer. “Neither do the potatoes.”
Two guards spot a man skulking around the Kremlin.
"Stop! Who goes there? Documents!" He shouts.
The frightened person chaotically rummages through his pockets and drops a paper. The guard picks it up and reads it.
"Urine Analysis...
“Hmm... a foreigner, sounds like," says the other guard.
Then the first guard reads further: "'Proteins: none, Sugars: none, Fats: none...”
“You are free to go, proletarian comrade,” says the second guard.
An artist is commissioned to create a painting celebrating Soviet-Polish friendship, to be called "Lenin in Poland." When the painting is unveiled at the Kremlin, there is a gasp from the invited guests. The painting depicts Lenin's wife naked in bed with Leon Trotsky.
"But this is a travesty! Where is Lenin?" Asks one of the guests.
"Lenin is in Poland," replies the painter.
"Granddaughter, please explain Communism to me,” an old Russian woman asks her granddaughter. “How will people live under it? They probably teach you all about it in school."
"Of course they do, Granny,” her granddaughter responds. “When we reach Communism, the shops will be full – there'll be butter, and meat, and sausage…you'll be able to go and buy anything you want..."
"Ah!" exclaimed the old woman joyfully. "Just like under the Tsar!"
These are copy-pasted off the internet.
I once found a tumblr full of this stuff, and good ones too, but it seems to have closed.
If you guys had a time machine, where would you first go to?
I'd probably go to Rome during the reign of Octavius, and then in France during the Revolution.
>>3335553
Probably try to get some universal translator device from the future for my travels
I would dump predatory dinosaurs into Dark Age Europe.
>watch the first ancient human societies
>Go see Athens in its peak
>march with Alexander
>Rome, follow Caesar then Augustus
>Fuck Cleopatra
>Try to look for Jesus
Then I think I would spend the middle age getting drunk in taverns, watch the Sun King dance to Lully's music, watch Napoleon's rise, etc...
I could go on but then I realized it would take too fucking long, it really is a tragedy that we do have the ability to witness the past glories of humankind
What if Roman culture survive. What would peoples names be?
Bigus Dickus
>>3335461
The naming custom evolved during Roman times.
>>3335461
Bible names > all other names
What's /his/'s opinion on this guy?
Is it fair to call him the Richard Spencer of the 60's?
>>3335116
Richard Spencer is a cuck though who gets punched in the face and turned into photoshooped egghead memes. At least Rockwell had some personality to him.
>>3335116
The last dying breath of openly racial supremacist representation in the US.
Since then nobody has been openly for it, they just dog-whistle to them every now and again during the campaign to get their vote, then drop the topic once they are in office.
Nazis have autism
Whats the best historical film?
>>3335113
Swindler's List, goyim.
Why is this a question
https://youtube.com/watch?v=0sdtkAM-Ud0
>>3335129
Nah bro its not even eastern front
Why do we translate Native American names like "Sitting Bull" and "Crazy Horse" but not East Asian names like Mao Zedong (Eastern Pool) or Hideki Tojo (Heroic Machine)
Because no one can even come close to easily pronouncing them wagon burner languages. Just look how much we already butcher those untranslated pronunciations from the actual Chinese/Japanese.
Redskins aren't people so they get pet names.
>>3334880
Does it matter? As long as it's close or correct it's good.
Why did Athenians bully Ares? Is it because they thought he liked Sparta better?
>>3334117
>be ares
>lose in evey myth you fought
Aresfags leave, Athena is based
>Ares had an adulterous affair with the goddess Aphrodite but her husband Hephaistos trapped the pair in a golden net and humiliated them by calling the rest of the gods to witness.
>During the battle between Herakles and Ares' villianous Kyknos (Cycnus), the god intervened but was wounded by the hero and forced to flee back to Olympos.
>When the Aloadai giants laid siege to Olympos, Ares battled them but was defeated and imprisoned in a bronze jar. He was later rescued by the god Hermes.
>in a bronze jar
Ares was the god of failure.
>Sub-saharan africans can't create culture of great valu-
>>3333740
-e.
Timbuktu Madrassas were started be Berbers for example, Mansa Musa only gave money to furbish one more than was already planed.
>>3333740
>literal mudhut that needs constant maintenance else it collapses
The English are god's chosen people
>>3333338
5 posts too late
>>3333371
I had the thread waiting but then it asked me to redo the recaptcha
Friendly reminder that England got its ass kicked in the 100 years war and everything after that is just them hiding on their island and claiming all the credit from countries like Prussia or America who actually win wars.
Why do Tibetans look like Inuit/Native Americans? Do they share the same ancestors?
Basically, yes.
>>3333314
Cold adaptation
Yes. Chances are the Inuit group share the same ancestor genes as Tibetan ones.
>>3333827
Why aren't Tibetans Nordic like? They both have cold adaptation.
Stop being dumb you retard.
I hear this idea sometimes that a totalitarian system cannot be sustained for a long time, because it will collapse into itself, people will overthrow it etc.
But let's actually look at this. The three original totalitarian states were Fascist Italy, Nazi Germany and Stalinist Russia. However, two of these were overthrown only by external military forces - who knows how long they could have persisted if ww2 didn't happen. Stalin was never overthrown and the only reason the USSR didn't continue being Stalinist is that Stalin failed to introduce a clear successor and the guy who eventually won the resulting power struggle decided to reform the state.
On the other hand, we have North Korea who figured out a system of succession. They have their third Kim now and still operate under the same system and show no signs of collapse, despite every odds being against them (piss poor economy, many outside enemies etc.)
There were also some other derivative dictatorships, like the Stalinist regimes in Eastern Europe which tended to fall when they tried becoming less oppressive. The Hungarian revolution of 1956 for example broke out on the wake of a sort of de-stalinization campaign.
tl;dr: It looks like a totalitarian state can be quite stable if they stay consistently totalitarian and can sort out succession.
>>3332772
I would argue totalitarianism is only unsustainable insofar as they will be less developed than democracies by necessitiy.
And if you are a totalitarian dictator and the difference in military power becomes large enough, democracies are gonna fuck you up.
I'm pretty sure that the very fact that WW2 happened is part of why a totalitarian system is considered unsustainable.
>and show no signs of collapse
Ignoring your problems does not mean they are not there. The system could collapse any second. Be it war, the death of Kimg Jong Un or others.
Similar Stalin and others were able to ignore their problems by sheer brutality and force.
Stalin being crazy and killing everyone off, not appointing a successor, is part of totalitarianism, it breeds craziness because the power is so focused on a few people.
But it also depends on how you define stable and sustainable. The systems existed for quite a bit, so it was stable is some sense. The fact that our birthrates are low and that Islam is taking control over the western world shows that our current system is also not sustainable.
Is that photo a shoop?
Does anyone here know of any scholarship on regional identity formation and the causes of it? Preferably ones that approach the question from economic/environmental perspectives, rather than ethnicity, nationality or race.
For example, Cascadia. What political, social, economic, etc. factors cause people living in the region to identify as Cascadians? It doesn't appear to have a significant racial/ethnic dimension to it. Any info on other similar movements throughout history would be useful.
Another bump for info, would appreciate any that can be provided.
And yes, this thread was posted earlier but I'm still interested in any theoretical approaches you may know of.
Cascadia is a huge fucking meme. The people there are identical to the surrounding states and/or provinces. It has no regional identity such as New England, Texas, Louisiana, Maritimes, Quebec, Minnesota, Appalachians, etc. I've been there and it just feels like any other generic state.
>>3332614
I can't see anything to suggest Cascadians have a national identity over than a geographical situation.
Economically, the Cascadians would have a very high standard of living.
Socially, the Cascadians all speak English and live in places where whites represent at least 90% of the population.
Were they always an FBI honeypot?
Typical Dem Perfidy
>>3331970
Every "lynching", "genocide", act of "racism" in world history has been a falseflag invented by fucking kikes and the niggers they enable to perpetuate a lie that we white people have ever been racist.
FBI didn't exist in the 1800s. FBI probably didn't have that much power in the very early 1900s.
Name a more epic war.
world war 2
star wars
>>3330426
Spanish colonization of Mexico
500 conquistadores take down the strongest American civilization and conquer a city of more than 1 million people.
Can't get more epic than that.
>Every man a Kang
Was this the most dangerous man in American History
>>3329740
Non-American here. Who is this guy and why do you all have a hard on for him?
>>3329748
his S H A R E T H E W E A L T H program would make E V E R Y M A N A K I N G and fuck syndie scum up.
>>3329748
He was basically the last old-fashioned American populist, which lost-out to the social-democracy lite wing of the Democratic party and have basically ceased to exist since the 30's. FDR's Democrats hated his guts and it's probably why he was assassinated.