Nudist beach ni sh?gakuryok? de!!
by Shiwasu no Okina
BTW why are some of the Comics being systematically deleted from Sad Panda? A search for Kairakuten turns up nothing as well as a few others. Did someone rat them out to the publishers?
Yeah, I was wondering about this as well. There was a recent comic by Pochi. called Ohime-sama game from Kairakuten XTC #4 that was recently deleted from there. Although it appears there is still material from Kairakuten on the site, searching for "kairakuten" brings up nothing(although Ohime-sama game was actually deleted, it seems).
Wani (publisher of Kairakuten, X-EROS, etc.) sent a C&D to Fakku for hosting its stuff
Fakku offered to go official, Wani accepted
Now various sites and translators are getting C&Ds except for Fakku which will publish the Wani stuff
Sadpanda removed its Wani stuff from access which is a lot
I don't know. There's enough interest in these magazines that the Internet will find a way to get it online. For instance on Sadpanda, I noticed some of the stories broken out by individual artists from the magazines survived only because the name of the magazine wasn't in the title. I think if people just upload the magazines without any of the names on them it'll avoid getting deleted or just break out each artist from each magazine and upload them separately. It's a pain but there's enough interest that they will find there way somewhere. Hell they might flock back here like they used just upload a torrent file and post it here and boom there you go.
If anyone happens to know French there's a translation on hentairules.
At least it's easier to put through an online translator than Japanese.
I briefly considered making my own English translation based on the French version, but putting a text through two layers of translation isn't such a good idea, on top of that my French is kinda rusty.
FrenchFag here, I could translate it, though my english is not perfect, and you will have to correct my sentence, but I can give you a translation, how should I give it to you? Just posting it here pic after pic?
also, here's the french manga on ex hentai
I noticed that the scans of the two parts have different resolutions. The French version has the least amount of difference, but it then crops out a little of the page.
i'll post the first 6, I'll continue later, if you guys got question, ask for it, i'm sorry, but I don't know how to edit picture and write on it, I'llet you do this job...
Here you can dld the manga in french
http://www . hentairules . net/2014/08/01/voyage-scolaire-sur-une-plage-nudiste-school-trip-on-a-nudist-beach-chapters-1-2-french-by-shiwasu-no-okina/
The sentence must be read like a traditional manga ( from upper right, to bottom left ), but I also put number, sentence between ( ) are here to explain the situation or give detail.
Also, as you can read in the french version, the teacher is a foreign teacher, an english one, so I decided to translate her english word in French, so english reader understand better that she is a foreigner, but you can still let it in english if you want!
( going straight to the 3, no translation needed for the 2 )
1)And now, the announcement of the destination for our scholar trip in europe!
2)I decided that the class would go to a nudist beach!
3)Eh? What? seriously?
4)oh No, it's not true!
5)Eh?! I don't believe it!
1)Suomi-Sensei, on this beach... we too...
2)W-will have to be naked?"
3)Bien sur! ( Of course! In original raw )
6)no no no no no
7)Teacher too! ( may put Sensei here, "La prof" in french is a slang to designate a women teacher, dunno how you would say that in english )
8)Shut up guys!
10)Hey Naotatsu, what is nudism?
11) ( the guy is clearing his voice, dunno what's the best onomatopoeia to put there, up to you )
12) the Hussites appeared in Bohemia during the XV century, after the separation of the clergy. ( in rax translation, it's separation of the church, in french, we use sometime church to both designate a church or the clergy )
13) Their ideas, in which was the cult of the nudity, later widespread in germany
14)nowadays , nudism consist to take of its clothes, and take part in varied outside activity
15)très bien! ( very good in raw )
16)My father, the director of our college, also possess more than thirty private and public nudist establishment in my native town!
17)There, we are naked almost every day!
18)I wish this experience will totaly change your values!
19)I want each person of this class to learn a lot about this school trip!
1)Oh great sea, overwhelmed by sun, my body rise again, the skin shining, my soul is release, O joy!" ( here, it's written like a poem, I translate it littaraly, but dunno how to do it in a beautiful way )
2)You're purify! ( that's the litteral translation, but even in french, I don't really understand why she say that there, maybe she tell the poem as a way to purify her pupils? )
3)it's now two years since you are in this class, but I still feel that there is distance between each other!
4)I hope that a true physical contact, naked skin against naked skin, will change you in true friend!
6) by the way, the participation is obligatory
7)subject to being sent down from college" ( or you'll be kick off the college, dunno how to say it in a professional way )
4)So, what do we do?!
5)What? But we have to remove everything, no?
6)Seriously? are you motivated? ( he ask someone if he is motivated, but I probably did a gigantic grammar fault there )
7)We'll be excluded if we don't
8)Her father is the principal
9)humpf... We really don't have choice
10)Hey, do we have to go out now?
11)All Foreigners were naked!
12)Your foreskin isn't pull back
13)Shut up! And Stop looking!
14)Suomi-sensei is a good teacher, but sometime she goes crazy
( The guy mean that she does crazy things sometimes, in french we say ''partir en live", ( going on live ) which doesn't mean anything in english )
15)I Wonder if girls are already out of their tent?
16)that's it, distribution of bag is done. Inside them is a water bottle, a towel...
17)And sunscreen, bare minimum!
18)Also, You'll look like ridiculous if you hide your body with your hands, on the contrary, be proud!
19)Come on! En avant! ( Let's go in the raw )
1)What is it?!
2)Don't be shy! Show us your cock!
3)Stop it! don't piss me off!
4)Oh dear.. There we are, all naked now...
5)Fuck... everyone is looking at us
6)Yeah, I wonder if it's because our foreskin is pull back
7)Most foreigners aren't...
1)That kusakabe scum...
2)it's actually a weakling ( dunno if they are talking of his whole body, or just his dick actually )
4)There's a lot of young girl on this beach!
5)Super! Boobs! Boing boing! ( boing boing = sound of boobs going up and down, dunno how you say it in english )
6)Hey! You two! Be more respectful! And stop looking at them!
7)Oh come on, relax too naotatsu!
10)and his body, I would never imagine...
11)Bien!! Tout le monde!( in raw, it's "Good! Everybody"!)
12)Boys are all here!
1)no doubt about it, my native beach is really the best one!
2)They are gigantic! No doubt, it's a foreigner!
3)Her areola are really wide! Turn-on!
4)her pubic hair are in a hearth shape?! ( here the lower hair are call "Touffe", which is a pejorative way to tell thet the pubic hair, dunno how to translate this in english )
6)Girls! Don't stay hidden in the tent!
7)Boys are waiting you!
8)That suck, we really don't have choice
9)Oh no! What do we do?!
10)Teacher insist on
11)we must go
13)I-I'll go first... follow me girl
2)Taniguchi b-boobs! and h-hair!
3)Don't look at me like that...
4)T-the hair of a girl of our class! ( here too the hair are say in a pejorative way )
5)Class rep... The one that organise everything
6)Akiho taniguchi... Completly naked front of us!
6)Forbidden to hide!
7)Shut up boys!
8)And let us pass!
9)Well done youngster! now have fun, and enjoy the beach! ( I say youngster, but guys may be better, she mean to say "well done to both Girls and boys )
1)Kyaaah! Everybody's looking at me!
2)I feel it!
3)Awesome! The cutest girl in the class! Sanaka suemori!
4)I like sanaka-chan!
5)Oooh, she has tiny breast!
6) Suemori's body... This image will be grave in my memory forever and ever!
7) she's a real babe! ( here, the guy say she is a "doll", it'as a french slang for beautiful women, though the equivalent would be babe, but dunno if it's ok )
do whatever you want with this guy, i'm just glad to help you, but i don't know anything about typestting image, or even what's pastebin.
1) Stop peeping on us
2)Ow! Ayame Kotegawa caught us
3)She"s alway with sueomori to protect her from guy
4) But wow! Koetegawa b-boobs... her nipples... I can't stop looking at them!
5)Do you want something to drink, Aya?
6) I got coke, water and tea
8) Her thin waist
9) She look like a model
10) She as a tiny pair of boobs!
11) Her long hairstyle
1) they are talking to each other face to face
3) Eh machi! Look at my dick!
4) I don't wanna see that!
6)Show us your nipples!
7)Look at mine, they are pinky!!
9)At thispoint, wouldn't it be more exited if you see a little less of our bodies?
10) It's better if we show each other little by little...
11) ooooh! Machi hanaki!
12) hey Maria, what do you think of me?
13) At least, you are at ease, I'm still not used to...
14)Maria Sakai!! Totaly naked under our eyes!
15) Ooh! her skin's all white!
16) I wanna pinch those pink nipples
17)Sakai's boobs are georgous!
18)They never stop swinging
1) It seems to me they both have boyfriends
2)I think sakai boyfriend is saito, from the other class
3)a real entertaining! ( they are saying that they like the situation, to be able to see naked chicks, dunno how to say it well, up to you guys! )
6) Sh-Shizuha-tan, you're not in the best position!
7)Eh? what do you mean?
8) To hide your boobs and crotch, the best position is to lie down on your belly, isn't it?
9) Oh! that's true!
10)Here we go!
11)It's the ultimate defense in this situation
12)We just had to be patient now
2)Our back is totally defenceless
3) Rah... everybody's looking our butt!
4) Catch it Haruko!
1) don't throw it that strong!
2) i'm already at minimum
3)We're completly seing you when you play like this...
4) We're all naked, so it doesn't change a lot of thing
5) We get use to it, little by little...
6) We get use to it... Boys can't stop looking at you with their perv eyes!
7) HEY! Do you wanna play with us?
8) ( she's saying an onomatopoeia to call the boys, there too if you got an idea, choose it )
9) We're gonna play together!!
11) Aaah! It's awesome!
12) Paradise on earth!
1) Ai dainose... She's kind of high in class, but she's a real beauty!
2)She's scary, we never know what she think, but how beautiful she is!
4) Did you see? Dainose boobs!!
5) her areola are dark!
6) and her kitty is hairy! furthermore, she's sat cross-legged! I love that!
1) Why boy's wee-wee so tiny?
3)Your wee-wee have different size!
4) Hina Naga-hama
5) the most spontaneus girl of the whole class
6) Don't know if it's generostiy or naivety...
7) But she's alwayshowing her panties, every boy love her!
9)We can completly see her cunt!
10)I'm in seventh heaven!
1)But... why don't we have boner?
2) Everything around us is hard-on... schoolgirls from our class, foreigner chicks... all naked...
3) I'm so excited my head is spinning
4) Meaby we're too nervous?
5) the other don't have hard-on too
6) Not him... neither him
7) ( onomatopoeia to show that naotatsu is the only one to have a boner. Taadaa is use in french to show the surprise, up to you to choose osmething so! )
I would proudly walk everywhere with it, uh uh uh.
2)S-she get up all by herself!
5)Naotatsu!! getting an erection on the beach is very disrespectful!
6) Ne t'inquiètes pas! ( Don't worry in raw )
7)I was expecting that my pupils would get hard-on! ( here, she use a slang word when talking about pupils getting hard-on, dunno what to say there, if you get an idea, replace as you wish! )
8)I prepared a special tent for this kind of situation!
9)Inside it, you'll quickly be able to let your hard-on get down! ( here too, she is using slang , chibre is a slang for penis in erection, and that it will be normal again, that's a hint that something lewd will happend inside the tent )
1)What... A shame... I'm terribly sorry...
3)I-I'm gonnasolve this w-withouth further delayI in the tent!
4) Wait a moment!
5) this school trip has for goal to improve the relationship between boys and girl, to a much more friendly level!
6) So, when boys will have a ''problem''
7) Girls will have to help them get ride of their erection!
1)summary of the first chapter
2)In a country where naturism is widespead, Suomi-Sensei carry her classroom in a schooltrip on a nudist beach
3) Her pupils must participate and get naked, subject to being exclude from highschool if they dont.
4)That's when class rep nagato natotatsu get a strong erection, although being strictly forbidden
5) Ond emande by Suomi-Sensei, the other class rep Akiho Taniguchi is send with Natotatsu in a tent to calm down his erection
2) They are superb!!
Taemi tegawa's boobs are incredible!
1) Tegawa... she's as tall as a professional athlete
2) Ouah,she's a true stunner
3) Oh my, oh my... Her silhouette model make me dream!
4)( guys trying to breath after being in the water, put a convenient onomatopeia here please )
5) Ah ah ah ah! ( girl laughing )
6)You're all wet, you ok?
8)You didn't succeed to avoid her smash!
1)Haruko Ishibashi's slit!
2)it look like a little schoolchild pussy!
3)Woow! Its inside is all pinky!
4)But it's strange, I don't have a hard-on...
5)How's that possible?
7) ( heavy breathing dunno what to put here, choose yourself! )
9) ( heavy breathing dunno what to put here, choose yourself! )
11) ( heavy breathing dunno what to put here, choose yourself! )
12) Yuk! the way they are dangling is really disgusting... And all those hair...
1) don't you have the impression that kuniki's looking at our dick?
2) yeah, she's looking straight at them ( they mean, she is completly looking at their dicks, not even hiding it, dunno if my sentence is that much correct )
3) her eyes are fixed on our cocks...
4) Ah! it's the first time I see other wee-wee than dad's one... those of Sato and Suzuki are differents...
5) I though that imari Kuniki was the most serious girl in the class
6) It's more curve than what I thought... They look so soft... And their rounded tip...
7) But she look like completly obssess by our dick!
9) I'm burning
10) ( heavy breathing dunno what to put here, choose yourself! )
11)( heavy breathing dunno what to put here, choose yourself! )
13)( heavy breathing dunno what to put here, choose yourself! )
1) The only girls talking to me in the class... The two otaku's!
2) Shizuha Inui ( talking like a boy ), her passion: dubber
( incoming, the "( talking like a boy )" is part of the text )
3)Kiyona Nogi ( speaking like a big shot ) her passion: Yaoi
( here too the "( speaking like a big shot)" is part of the text, also, he is saying that the girl is speaking like a caîd, it's a french word to designate the boss of a gang, dunno if big shot is a good way to say it, that's the only thing I found, meaby you could replace it with better words? )
4) Both of them naked?
5) This heat... I can't stand it anymore!
6) Raaaah! Come shizuha-tan, let's eat an ice cream! ( raaah is a complaing scream you say when something's irritating you, dunno what to put here, choose yourself! )
1) Akiho taniguchi
2)Naotatsu... you're really v-vigorous...!
3) that was the first time that I see a boy like t-this, i was slightly surprised
6) I'm sorry, it's all my fault
8)Taniguchi,I-I'm asking you forgiveness
10) I am...
1) I AM A HUGE PERVERT!
2) THAT'S ALL I AM!
4)Listen Taniguchi... I'm always acting serious front of the class...
5) But in fact, All of this is to hide the horrible truth!
6) When I don't control myself, I fantasise on girl all day long, with my penis being in a huge erection!
7)here's my true face... I'm a sex maniac! not a class rep!
8) I masturbate so much to calm down my libido that my body become muscled!
1) I tell everyone to behave properly, but I wasn't even able to look away from naked girls!
2) I was the only one to get a damn hard-on!
3)I'm an idiot!
4)You have nothing to do with this Naotatsu!!
5) It's my fault...
7)you know, it's not that bad! You are a serious boy, and a pervert at the same time!
8)I-I found that good... This facet of your personnality...
10) We're both class rep, nope?
11) It's kind of like when we work together!
12) I wanna help you!
13) let's solve your problem and join the rest of the class!
14)A-All my apologies Taniguchi!!
2) My eyes are closed...
3) And I stay immobile, it's alright?
( by it's alright, she's asking him if it's ok like this? dunno if i put right words there )
4)Y-yes! L-Like this, I-I take care of the rest all alone
5)( heavy breathing dunno what to put here, choose yourself! )
8) Oh no... I can feel his glance...
9) even eyes closed, I can feel him... The warmth of his body...
10) H-h-his breathing....
Aaand last one for today, i'll try to finish the last 8 pics tomorrow...
1)W-We often stay together to work after school...
2) And now... I'm completly naked in front of him...
3)I always desire to be in this kind of situation...
4)( heavy breathing dunno what to put here, choose yourself! )
5)N-Naotatsu... is it ok?
6) Is my body suited to you...? Too masturbate?
( here she mean if her body is good enough for him to masturbate to it, i don't think the first sentence is good enough, you'll probably have to correct me for a better one )
7) AH! yes..! I'm about to cum!
8)Kyah! He... He's pulling my hair?!
Okay, my theory on the story, maybe a little out there, but w/e. Class rep girl slip some boner-killer drugs into all the boys food/drink so as to "protect the girls". She left out the class rep dude because she wanted to do it with him (or even maybe went as far as slip him something like viagra, but then SnO never needn't an excuse for super-human sexual vigor). However, she underestimated how horny the girls would get it. This will end up making all the girls want to have sex with the one guy with an erection. I think blonde in particular has a big crush on the class rep dude. Would be a funny pseudo-NTR/male power fantasy plot. Could ultimately end in an actual orgy though. This is going to get deprave fast. Goddamn, I'm getting a little too hype for hentai (I got a little too excited for Pisu too). I really hope its in the next issue.
1) his breath's going up, I feel it against my chest
2) he's so close to my breast!
2.5) They are moving when she breath!
3) ( heavy breathing dunno what to put here, choose yourself! )
4)( heavy breathing dunno what to put here, choose yourself! )
5)H-his glaze make me nervous!
6) Oh no!
7) My nipples... have erected...
1)( heavy breathing dunno what to put here, choose yourself! )
3) Ah! naotatsu!
4)Suck suck suck
5) looking at my boobs isn't enough?
6) suck suck
7) he's chewing my nipple
1)T-Thanx you!! I'Im gonna... I'm gonna cum!
3)go on! ejaculate!
6)( heavy breathing dunno what to put here, choose yourself! )
7) Oh! He call me by my first name!
8)( heavy breathing dunno what to put here, choose yourself! )
9)( heavy breathing dunno what to put here, choose yourself! )
1) When you'll cum...
2) Could you kiss me?
4) Cay i cum?!
6) It's O-Ok!
1) AAAAH! I'M CUMING! I'M CUMING!
2) Aaaah! I feel it against my belly! All hard and warm!
2) Your penis calm down!
3) Does my body helped you?
4) ( heavy breathing dunno what to put here, choose yourself! )
5) Yes... A lot... akiho...
7) HEY IN THERE?! HOW'S YOUR COCK DOING?
8) Oh, very good! your hard-on calm down!
Here's the last guys.
4) Oh merde! You're as hard as a donkey, naotatsu!
5)Well, i'll need another girl to help you...
6)S-Sensei, I can take care of him again!
7) M- May... May I help him too?!
I can do a little french translating if need be too. Im no perfectly fluent frenchfag but i can understand most of it and adlib the inbetweens so it makes more sense to englishfags.
i can be backup if translatorfag is gone and people waiting
Sorry for the wait, this page took more time than I expected.
Anyway, I'm stopping here for today, see you tomorrow!
I'm new to scanlation editing and all that but I made my own English version of chapter 1 at the same time based on the translation here, chapter 2 is ongoing. I'm this anon >>3781435 >>3783107
I don't want to stop you so I'll just wait until you're done before posting mine.
Thanks to you too. Maybe we can all work together?
Ah, sorry anon, I didn't notice that post, if not I'd used your revision for the text.
But if you want I can use your translation for chapter 2, I think it would be better.
Yeah, if a japanese translator were to show up it would be the best. I don't mind even redo the first chapter.
I'm already bugged about the typos. I mean, "hearth-shaped pubic hair"? Shouldn't it be "heart-shaped"?
If anyone wants, I can fix the existing stuff here so it sounds more natural English, as well as correct grammatical errors. An editor basically. It'd be in a pastebin.
While translation chains bother me, I'm also aware it's not grand literature, so whatever. As long as it's labeled as a chain.
> But I'm not a native english speaker and my english is quite rusted, so if you could do that it would be for the best.
I can do it tomorrow around 4:00 GMT (or 23:00 4chan time), so if you want to hold off until then to typeset, that would be great. Shouldn't take long.
>By the way, are you the same anon of the post above? >>3785484
Anon of >>3785484 here.
I'd prefer if >>3785802 does his own revision. It's interesting to compare translations. I'm gonna post mine on sadpanda when all is done.
I'm revising the chapter 2 translation page by page, and my script is a little bit liberal for reasons of bubble space and dialogue flow, etc.
Yeah, it's a good idea, it's less confusing this way.
I'll wait for your translation and then I'll do the typesetting.
Two more things:
What about the lines the teacher says in english in the RAW? I wrote them in english with another font in the first chapter.
What about the first chapter? If you want to check it I can fix the pages.
Also, what about >>3785833?
Page 26 of the French version, when the dude compares the Tegawa chick to an athlete, he's actually comparing her to an actress from this troupe: http://ja.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E5%AE%9D%E5%A1%9A%E6%AD%8C%E5%8A%87%E5%9B%A3
All roles are played by women so I guess she's the kind of girl who would fit to play a male role or something.
Also on page 29, when the dude is talking about the two otaku girls, he actually says the first one is a "bokkuko" and the second one an "orekko", which I guess is kinda hard to translate.
That's the danger with second-hand translations haha. Thanks.
So he mentions "Takarazuka Revue". Googling says they're all tall and the ones playing males have short hair. But he notes her awesome boobs, so he's likely referring to her height.
Bokukko - girl who uses boku, Orekko - girl who uses ore, tougher connotation than boku. Masculine speech.
Normally I cringe at the linking of TVtropes due to it being such a terrible site (especially the community. Good christ), but since that actually sort of related I'll let it slide.
Damn, this took forever.
Chapter 1: http://pastebin.com/3amNjzd9
I'm fairly confident everything correct, but feel free to prove me wrong so I can fix my shamefur dispray.
I was a bit messy when it came to line breaks. If you have trouble following the flow of dialogue, refer to the previous scanlation posted ITT.
I'll be working on Chapter 2 now, at a more leisurely pace. I was hauling ass for Chapter 1 because I promised you guys I'd do it. Expect it sometime tomorrow.
Also, I borrowed some of your lines, >>3785833 Anon. Hope you don't mind.
Ah shit, I knew I was missing something. Sorry, but could you make a quick fix on the bottom of the page?
<My father, the director of our academy, also possesses more than thirty private and public nudist establishments in my native town!>
<There, we are naked almost every day!>
<I hope this experience will totally change your values!>
<I want each person in this class to learn a lot on this trip!>
>Try not to change it too much though. I thought I did well with my dialogue. :L
Ah no, I'm talking about things like the "Ehhhh?" in page 4 that I didn't do the first time, I think you did a really good work ^^
> Ah shit, I knew I was missing something. Sorry, could you fix the bottom half of the page?
Oh yeah, sorry. Don't worry, if you spot others typo tell me so that I fix them while I am at it!
Lol sorry again, it's kinda embarassing ahah
I hope this time there isn't any error
Here we are, sorry for the wait but it took more time than expected.
<I hope that true physical contact, naked skin against naked skin, will turn you into true friends!>
"into" not "in"
<If you don't come, you'll be expelled!>
It should be as simple as copy and paste. Are you typing it all out again?
Anon of >>3785814 here, got a trip too. Your lines are more natural. I feel I made my lines more verbose than they had to be. Do you mind if I use some of them?
Also the line breaks and hairsplitting over the right words are killing me.
If it's all right with you, I can post a link to my chapter 1 after this chapter 1 is done, it's a private gallery on sadpanda so it won't show up. I'm only going to make it public if you post yours there first.
I simply corrected the lines. From now on I'll copy and past to avoid further errors.
>Your lines are more natural. I feel I made my lines more verbose than they had to be.
Thanks. They're high school students (I think, not even Japanese colleges have classrooms like that), so I try to keep it simple, like something people might actually say to each other.
>Do you mind if I use some of them?
No, I don't mind at all. Hell, I ultimately hope that a JP translator comes along and does a firsthand translation, rendering all this effort pointless. Until then, I just want the best possible product until then.
>If it's all right with you, I can post a link to my chapter 1 after this chapter 1 is done, it's a private gallery on sadpanda so it won't show up. I'm only going to make it public if you post yours there first.
I don't mind seeing your efforts. I only use sadpanda for personal fapping so no worries about "upload stealing," from me anyway.
I'm only using Gimp so my typesetting is cruder. I'm limited by the existing bubbles.
Is it okay if I make a few comments on http://pastebin.com/3amNjzd9?
director/academy ---> I used principal/school but this sounds better
"Don't hide it, flaunt it!" ---> Punchy, I like it. My line's closer to Frenchanon's.
btw she also says "That's an order" after this.
>director/academy ---> I used principal/school but this sounds better
Seeing how the blonde teacher's dad owns the school and a ton of nude beaches, I'm guessing it's a private high school, not a college. So I went with academy and director.
>"Don't hide it, flaunt it!" ---> Punchy, I like it. My line's closer to Frenchanon's.
>btw she also says "That's an order" after this.
You mean in the JP raws?
I wrote it as a command, so hopefully the intent's the same without adding "that's an order" to the end.
>Hey Machi, look at my dick!
>I don't wanna see that!
>Hide it, idiot
>Show us your nipples!
>Look at mine, they're pink!
>You fat moron!
I guess one of the boys is saying "Look at mine", so I had it as "they're pink too" since Machi has pink nipples.
>At this point, wouldn't it be more exciting if you see less of our bodies?
>It's better if we show off little by little...
Does she mean a striptease? No idea so my line's the same.
>Oooh! Machi Hanaki!
>Hey Maria, what do you think of me?
>At least you're at ease
"What do you think of me" sounds odd to me when they're both naked. Maybe "how do I look" is better, but that also sounds odd when they're naked. I used "How am I doing?"/ You're taking it easy."
>Sakai's boobs are gorgeous! They never stop swinging!
I thought about using "jiggling" or "bouncing" but I can't tell which from the art. Jiggle, bounce and swing have subtle differences too. So I just used swinging like Frenchanon
>I think Sakai's boyfriend is Saito from the other class...
Frenchanon said the boys shouted something happily after this line, so I used "Awesome!" Meaning they get to see the girls naked though they have boyfriends.
> I wrote it as a command, so hopefully the intent's the same without adding "that's an order" to the end.
Ah lol, i posted before I read what you wrote, sorry man.
> "What do you think of me" sounds odd to me when they're both naked. Maybe "how do I look" is better, but that also sounds odd when they're naked. I used "How am I doing?"/ You're taking it easy."
I just looked the JP raws, Machi actually say "Nee Maria, atashi daijoubu?", so something like "Hey Maria, I'm ok/good?" I think.
>No doubt about it, my native beach is the best!
In the French version she says "beach of my childhood". Used it but it seems clunky now. "The beach I grew up on?"
>Machi actually say "Nee Maria, atashi daijoubu?", so something like "Hey Maria, I'm ok/good?" I think.
Dang, now that's simple. But I'd add "doing" - "Am I doing ok"?
>Does she mean a striptease? No idea so my line's the same.
Eh, I think it's the girls trying some reverse psychology to get them to stop staring so much. It's true how it's sexier when they're covered a little than completely bare.
>Ah lol, i posted before I read what you wrote, sorry man.
It's okay. You know what, I think I'll keep the old version of that pic. I just think "that's an order" is excessive.
Okay, doing some more edits after reading feedback from you and Other Guy.
<Look at mine, they're pink too!>
<Hey Maria, am I doing okay?>
>In the French version she says "beach of my childhood". Used it but it seems clunky now. "The beach I grew up on?"
I think "native" is okay. "Childhood beach" maybe. I wouldn't worry about it.
>Dang, now that's simple. But I'd add "doing" - "Am I doing ok"?
lol, that's what I did for the revision.
I used the more common h-manga laugh "Ehehehe"
Shall I post the link to my version of chapter 1 later or the images themselves? I'm gonna revise them again after I finish chapter 2 anyway.
I'm thinking the only way a JP-EN translation gets made is if someone pays for it, the raws have been out for months... I have some HV credits stored up,,,
>Shall I post the link to my version of chapter 1 later or the images themselves? I'm gonna revise them again after I finish chapter 2 anyway.
A link is better. I think this thread's near its limit.
Right now I'm at page 33 with Chapter 2. I'll get some more pages done, but I'm also checking this thread and it's really late at night where I am.
It's ok, choose what you think it's better ^^
> Right now I'm at page 33 with Chapter 2. I'll get some more pages done, but I'm also checking this thread and it's really late at night where I am.
I'm GMT+1, tonight I did all the graphical work on chapter 2 and before I noticed it was 5 AM. So I simply waited for you, I didn't get any sleep lel All for the sake of fapping!
I think there's room for improvement.
<"We'll get used to it"...
The boys won't stop staring at you with their perv eyes!>
Adding quotations to make it clear she's sarcastically repeating the other girl, as well as change to "staring" for more emphasis.
"She's kinda high class"
I took >>3781633 "kind of high in class" to mean "distant/aloof".
"Why don't we have boners?" plural
"Boner-inducing" - I used "arousing" but a teen would more likely say the former. Nice.
"Look at him!" - French anon said it was a sound effect so I used Ba-bum! like a drum thing.
"my pupils would get hard-ons" plural.
Last post for now. Couldn't resist. Please check out mine too? Thanks guys.
> "Look at him!" - French anon said it was a sound effect so I used Ba-bum! like a drum thing.
But it's not a sound effect, in the raw there was written "??", that if I'm not mistake is the past tense of ??. Or maybe its ?, board, plank.
> But it's not a sound effect, in the raw there was written "??", that if I'm not mistake is the past tense of ??. Or maybe its ?, board, plank.
Sorry, forgot to mention that ??, iru, mean "to be, to exist".
>When do you think will be ready the second chapter translation?
It's done, actually.
I used French Anon's bubble guide in the middle of the thread when it comes to dialogue flow.
Hopefully less errors from me; I've proofed it three time, twice in Word and again with a 10-min pastebin.
You should probably start Chapter 2 in a new thread, since there's only 30 replies left before this thread sinks to the bottom. Be sure to link the new thread.
So there's no wasted time on corrections next time I'll proofread it also. The French version has a little more detail, based on what I understand from Google Translate lol
>Summary of the first chapter
>In a country where naturism is widespread, Suomi-sensei brings her students on a class trip to a nudist beach.
The French text mentioned "entire class". But it it's unnecessary...
Also I think the country should be mentioned last, since the sentence sounds like the school is already in that country, which it's not.
>That's when class rep Nagato Natotatsu gets a huge erection, which is strictly forbidden.
"although this is strictly forbidden". But whatever.
>Forced by Suomi-sensei, the other class rep Akiho Taniguchi is sent with Natotatsu to calm his erection.
"A la demande" (Forced) seems to be "By request (of)", but I'd split the difference and go with "order" --- "Suomi-sensei orders the other class rep..."
Also, "sent inside/into a tent."
>Tegawa... She's so tall, like an actress in the Takarazuka Revue.
>Her figure is the stuff of dreams!
French text is saying she has the figure of a model (mannequin).. how to put that in? "Model's figure"?
>The only girls that talk to me in class... The two otakus!
>Shizuha Inui (bokkuko), her passion: dubbing
>Kiyona Nogi (orekko), her passion: yaoi
Dubbing -- I guess voice acting, or voice actors (or seiyuu if you want TL notes). Bokkuko/Orekko - see those posts earlier. Talks like a guy/talks like a tough guy?
>Naotatsu... you're really v-vigorous...!
"Vigorous" might not be the best fit in English... if you check Google Translate, meanings like strong, hard, sturdy, robust come up... if she's basically saying his dick is so hard, how about using "hard".
>Taniguchi, I-I'm asking for your forgiveness.
"for" can be dropped but it's fine
>Let's solve your problem
"Let's take care of your problem area."
>He's sucking on my nipple
French has mordille, closer to nibble, but if the sfx say sucking...
>When you cum... Could you kiss me?
"Can you kiss me?" sounds better
>S-sensei, I can take care of him again!
Nothing wrong but maybe you can have the double entendre of "handle." As in handle his dick. In my version of chapter 1, I had some fun with wordplay: come, handle, etc.
Thanks again guys!
Huge wall of text incoming, I checked the first chapter page by page to spot any mistake in the translation. I found some, and I also put all the small nitpicks I have with some other parts of the translation. I hope it doesn't sound like what you guys did is bad or anything! Just trying to help :D
Anyway, great job, and I'll do the same when the second chapter is done
Here it is:
This is heaven on earth!?
Everywhere, nudity, nudity, nudity
This is the nudist beach!!!!
I would also use "own" instead of "possess"
Instead of "we take off everything, right?", she says something like "but we have no other choice but to undress, right?"
Instead of "you sound eager to do it" she says "are you going to do it?" (not 100% on this one, my Japanese is far from perfect)
Bottom right corner, "the only thing you'll wear", in my opinion she should say it's the "bare minimum". It's closer to what she says in Japanese and contains the word "bare" :P
Next panel, she asks them to not use their hands or their shoes to hide (so if you want you could add "shoes" or "flip-flops" or something)
Next panel she says "Saa, Let's goo!!" in Japanese, so you could add "alright" ("saa") before the "let's go" part. I know, these are very minor details but I'm just suggesting stuff!
Instead of "what is it" he should say "what do you want?", it's a little more agressive that way I think
He says that Kusakabe's body is actually scrawny (it's first implied that he acts like a tough guy). The word "tiny" seems to only refer to his dick but he's actually talking about his whole body
In the panel where the glasses guy shouts at them, he first tells them they are being disrespectful and then he adds as an aside that they are gawking at them. So the translation is good but it should be separated into two sentences (just like in the japanese raw, I hope you'll understand what I'm talking about here!)
Second to last panel, he says his body is surprising too (the fact that he looks very athletic, kind of a gag when compared to the Kusakabe guy just before). So the translation should be something like "And his body too... I never would've guessed"
First panel, what she actually talks about in Japanese is the beach of her hometown. Not saying the translation is wrong, but maybe something would fit better (no idea, I'm not a native English speaker!)
First panel, maybe change the "Ei" to something else. Again, not a native English speaker but I feel it should be replaced by something like a sharp girly cry or something (very minor nitpick)
Last panel, instead of "well done guys" it should be "alright guys"
Last panel where he says she a babe, in Japanese he says every part of her body is small (not just her breasts) so in French it's translated as "she's like a little doll". Like litterally a doll, not the french slang word for "babe". Therefore something like "she's like a doll" would be closer, maybe
Third panel "look at mine, they're pink too", he just says "Look at my pink nipples!", so the translation should remove the word "too"
"Fat moron", she basically says "baka" (baka in the previous panel too), so the word "fat" is unnecessary (in French there's the word "gros" but doesn't mean litterally "fat" in this instance, I believe)
Fourth panel, maybe replace "see" by "saw"?
"If we show off little by little" -> "if you don't see everything at once"
Last panel he says her tits are huge (doesn't mean the word "gorgeous" is incorrect, so it's up to you!), and that they shake/swing a lot
First panel, he just says something like "by the way, they both have a boyfriend...". I would remove the word "though" from the translation which means they regret the fact they are in a relationship. I think the author just wants to establish those characters as the experienced girls from the class.
Second panel, "awesome", they say it's a feast/treat/etc. so the translation isn't wrong, but if you want you could find something in english with the same idea as a feast for the eyes
When talking about her areola, I think he says they are a little darker towards the bottom. So "Her areola are slightly darker towards the bottom", maybe? There's probably a better way to say "towards the bottom" though!Next panel he doesn't say the word "pussy", just says she's pretty hairy
Second panel, I would say "I see! There are all kinds of penis sizes..."
Last panel is "ita" in Japanese, so it translates to something like "there it is!"
Last panel, she uses the expression "noomari kokku", so "normal cock" in English. She uses English words like that all the time, so here would suggest "Inside, you can quickly get your cock back to normal!". Not very important, but it's closer to the original meaning and avoids the repetition of "hard-on"
First panel, "unforgivable" instead of "unpardonnable"
Second panel, "I'll solve this" instead of "I'm going to solve this", maybe?
Thid panel: "The goal (purpose?) of this school trip is for the relationship between boys and girls to become much muuuch friendlier". Here she says "mootto motto" in Japanese, big emphasis so I would translate to something like "much muuuch". Not sure how that sounds to a native English speaker though
Text on the left says "Of course they will...", or "Of course they have to...", open to interpretation. Then after the heart it just says the next chapter will be available in the August issue
Bottom text says "to be continued" (duh :P)
And that's it! Once again, most of these are very minor stuff
This hentai is pretty great, havent seen a good one in a while. That headmaster is a piece of work, damn.
Anyway, keep it up anons! I will be following. Maybe yall can put the edited version in a mediafire once its completed, or dump it in full in a new thread.