I have severe Anxiety Disorder (and depression) as well as ADD.
When I'm designing something at home, I'm very relaxed. However, when I had I job (I never got fired, I just fulfilled my timed contract) I could never get over the anxious thought of fucking up, especially when my boss was watching. Focusing is such a daunting task, overthinking becomes a common obstacle I face, and my attention to detail becomes shot.
The design world is tough as shit and doesn't have room for people like me. I take full responsibility, but I can't help it no matter how hard I try. Is it time to finally start taking the meds? Or are there science-proven techniques that will help me immensely?
Sorry for the blog
op, i had horrible panic attacks where i felt like i would die from a heart attack, and general axiety.
look into inositol powder (also known as vitamin b8). it's the only thing that's help me. it's a supplement readily available in health stores and online. buy the pure bulk powder, because for anxiety and panic you have to take around 12-16 grams of it, which is quite a lot and it's way too expensive to buy the capsules. the powder dissolves in water and is tasteless. it's very safe.
and a word of caution, do not ever buy inositol + choline combined. you are will need to be taking enough inositol that a combined form would have you taking way too much choline.
buy the choline separate, add the recommended amount, and it should enhance the inositol's effects. just don't take it before bed, it will keep you up for hours
I'm constantly dealing with issues you mention. I'd suggest seeing a therapist, it has helped me alot.
Realize that over thinking can be a good thing, without that I don't think I would have been able to overcome certain branding/design challenges.
The problem is that I have been told time after time after time again that I overthink too much from a WIDE ARRAY of different people. What's scary is that most of these people don't know me at all yet they're almost always able to immediately come to that conclusion. Especially when it comes to designing, the simplest thing like choosing the best font or coming up with a compelling composition layout takes a lot of time with me. You just can't do that in this field. Then when I feel like I've spent too much time, I start to have a panic attack.
I got my BFA last year and worked for a television network as my first job, so obviously I want to continue to pursue this, but I don't want to suffer anymore.
>The design world is tough as shit and doesn't have room for people like me.
This is what fucks you over the most I believe. Why do you spit on yourself like that? Have some fucking respect for yourself.
Just say you're a perfectionist and can't stand the tiniest design flaws.
If you want to go all out though: say you're autistic and that's why you're so obsessed with the design. People will think you can use your autism super powers to come up with the best possible design. Also will make people have sympathy for you, allowing you to work slower.
I am bipolar with aspergers and ADD. I too am often depressed and struggle with anxiety. However I couldn't function at all without my meds, so I strongly suggest that you start to take meds. Especially for your ADD . I can't even find energy to draw a circle without my add meds
Hi op I also have ADHD.
The long version: ADHD is a fundamental deformity in your brain and the way it works. Certain structures are just smaller, period, and certain actions of even normal-seeming structures do not work correctly, such as the way dopamine is produced. You can read up on this shit as it's really complicated and I can't remember all the brain anatomy without opening all my study bookmarks and getting lost in 37 tabs, as I'm sure you can relate to...
Some people get a lot of relief from psychotherapy, meditation, mental training, habit forming, etc. But at the end of the day the most effective way to fix your deficencies is to take the meds that best make up for them. Which are stimulants.
I take Vyvanse it changed it my life. I don't feel like typing a big diatribe bit seriously, see a psych, patiently try diff meds at diff doses til you find the right one, do it for yourself. You deserve to be able to focus on work and complete tasks without ripping out your hair and feeling crazy. We live in world that is very task and focus based, it'll make your life a lot easier.
Literally nothing is as well-proven as meds or effective. People who react badly to meds or don't want to take them have been searching for decades. If that doesn't work then try psychotherapy and self-management.
unless you have ADHD or something similar, pls fuck off with that. op is right. It is actually a huge source of unemployment and substance abuse for people with mental disorders in that area, as it makes them unfit for work in most of our societies (punctual, organized, able to switch tasks as required, pay attention to meetings and even just a colleague speaking to you for more than 45 seconds etc).
the sooner someone with ADHD realizes that the better, because they need medication or therapy and to begin managing their disorder immediately. I say this in the most endearing way possible because I have it myself and know we aren't useless by default, but it's true that school/work as it's currently structured does not have room for us. It's like being left handed during arts and crafts in school — sorry! you gotta use rightie scissors. they aren't buying special scissors for one kid, that kid better learn early to use most tools right-handed.
k l o n o p i n
all of a sudden you won't worry so much if something is good enough. you'll just start doing the best you can with the skills you've developed and be okay with it.
(if your skills aren't there you won't do anything worthwhile, if you have some talent, at least you will put it to work and not hold yourself back with pointless anxiety)
you should combine drugs with CBT, at least once a week with a certified psychiatrist/counsellor w/e.
it might be expensive, look for community places, or even group cbt therapy, but i'd recommend at least 1hr/week alone with a pro to go through it.
they'll make you make lists, take notes how you feel during designing, how you feel with boss looking over your shoulder, and tell you ways to think about things.
I think no one will get over anxiety on their own.
(or just go to work drunk and yoloswag, it'll actually work too, not like people haven't done that since the beginning of time)
This thread hits way too close to home.
I was once diagnosed with Bipolar by a student Psychologist at my university after a couple of mediocre sessions. Was already struggling with the system and was not able to follow through. Went to a private psychologist sometime later and wasn't very effective, I was also not very good at talking to her.
I struggle a lot, can't finish work on time. Have rushing thoughts all the time. But what I have been able to finish has been very well liked and people want my work, still though, I hate myself and constant anxiety has taken a toll on my self-confidence :(
Has anyone here tried Lithium Orotate? That's something I've read really good things about. Hope to buy some soon once I get paid.
I have F23.1 you fuck. Had this for years. So you is the one who can fuck off. If a guy has no respect for himself, nothing can help.
If a company treats you like shit and refuce to understand your situation - fucking quit.
It's weird because every graphic designer (especially the successful ones, obviously) I've ever met came off as completely fearless, 100% focused, fast as fuck literally designing beautiful shit in a blink an eye without breaking a sweat, and overwhelmingly impatient. They own this industry and don't have the patience or time to deal with those who who suffer from overthinking and the agonizing anxiety that comes with it.
And that's what fucking trips me, I can't stop thinking about the fact that they'd much rather have someone who can make awesome shit in the blink of an eye than some brain-fogged fuck who doesn't handle pressure well and takes more than 2 minutes to choose a font.
I know EXACTLY what you mean. Im going to be applying for jobs very very soon and Im internally losing it over the fact that I haven't been able to get on the mental level that I've seen in professionals.
I dont think I have any real mental impairments that hold me back, its just this internal feeling of inadequacy that washes over me when I talk to other designers. It never shows outwardly, but its hard to take myself seriously when I see my work compared to others. They are always so different from me in the way they think, the speed at which they come to decisions and even their lifestyles. They're a blowtorch and Im a pile of kindling.
Im not going to give up, I cant let myself at this point, but there is still that feeling that the good graphic designers in the industry are cut from a different cloth.
Mental or confidence problems and professionalism and lack of it are two completely different things. You come to work to do shit, not to impress your colleagues. Keep that in mind. Also keep this in mind - Learning process is hard, sometimes very hard. But if you think being calm or as the other dumfuck expressed 'completely fearless' came from anywhere else other than long hard work - go kill yourself, spare yourself the time.
Alright alright, I get it. I know that hard work is at the key of this all. I take things to personally so I need to stow that shit if Im to get an better.
I almost appreciate that youre being harsh with me because youre right. Its fucking stupid to be concerned with my colleagues. I guess I need to be reminded of that from time to time.
Im done venting, back to work.
Also think about this - choosing a font for 2 mins... I'd never assume it's a bad thing, since knowing some Typography makes you think a bit more in order to save time later. And 2 mins..? Gee. I bet you tried to save time not to think about how stupid that really sounds?
It is your job, to take your time, in order to provide the client with the best. Unless ofcourse you're working for a company that cooks design like burgers at McDonalds. I hope that shed some light on your n00b designer heads. I wish I could have been more polite, but your tediousness is incredible.
Do your best. Dickheads are going to say shit like you work slow etc. You gonna have to learn to flip people off. It is you who provides, it is them who asks you to work for them. Mutual respect is mandatory here. Things are not gonna work out always good, but you better think twice before you blame it all on yourself. It just hurts me to see designers that don't have respect nor for themselves nor for the industry or clients.
I'm sure you just totally missed the point, but thanks?
Either way, I've tried for years to control my ADD and I can't continue on like this if I want to be successful. So like these other anon said, I think it's time to do the meds.
Unless of course I find a good natural remedy. Maybe I should get back to water fasting.
I've actually been told many times by my most recent boss how gifted I am not just in design but also taking charge and leading our creative department despite the fact that two of the other designers are much older and experienced than me. But I had prioritization and problem solving skills that they lacked. However, I still feel like nothing I do is good enough. I look at all my design work and just think it's "meh" at best.
I'm currently looking for a new job and am trying so hard to fake some confidence in myself. I've had some promising interviews but the process just takes forever. They all say they'll get back to me "within the next few weeks"
Hang in there man. My CEO literally said my work is unprofessional and substandard after nearly 3 years. He also is under the mindset that "anyone" can do design work, including photography and video. While I know my work isn't mind blowing, I know it's complete bullshit because I do exactly what he and my managers tell me (epic micro managing). I don't even have the bare essentials do do my job. My budget is $0. It still takes a huge tole on your confidence.
This criticism came the day after my manager quit on him because he was harassing her, belittling her in meetings and demoted her out of the blue. This is coming from a FOB with broken english who pirates software and uses freeware company wide. I now realize I've been at the same place trying to help them for far too long and it's been a lost cause. I need to get the fuck out immediately and can no longer work for a small minded asshole like this. I just realize, if this clueless assclown can become a CEO, then what's stopping me from pursuing what I want? The answer is myself. I just have to buckle down and get back to work.
Get your confidence back and make moves! Goodluck anon.