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>walk back to apartment from uni after...
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>walk back to apartment from uni after a productive morning
>roommate tells me he's having people over at 7 to 'study' spanish
>7 o'clock, two ugly bitches show up
>continue reading my book on assemblers in my room
>bitches are loud and everything that comes out of their mouths eats at my very soul
>studying involves a movie with some small child screaming in spanish
>login to router, check the DHCP leases
>"EmilyGrmmessMBP"
>"Stephanies-Air"
>blacklist both MAC's
>5 minutes later, roommate walks in, "HEY ANON THE GIRLS GOT KICKED OFF THE WIFI AND CAN'T LOG IN AGAIN EVEN WITH THE RIGHT PASSWORD, ANY IDEAS?"
>feign ignorance (not hard to do, router blows)

/g/ents, tell me stories of times you've used your powers for evil.
>>
Beta cucker detected
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>>45534885
>block their Wi-Fi access so they stop studying, go to his room and have a threesome while you cry and masturbate to the sounds through the wall
smart move
>>
All you need to do is find a yet unclaimed plain girl, talk nice to her but don't overdo it, and there you have a gf. It isn't hard at all.
>>
>not going out with your own friends
oh wait
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>>45534885
>not using ARP poisoning which is untraceable to scrubs
There is a chance my roommate actually checks the router's webgui and maybe, just maybe he happens to come across the blacklist.

Tbh I've never done anything. Maybe used my status as "the guy who knows stuff about computers" as an argument ender once or twice. Or more.
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I've done this before, OP. It didn't work though and nothing happened.
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"I guess we cant learn spanish anymore considering we have no internet"
"I know, let's have a threesome on neckbeard anons bed"
> You hear moaning through the walls while you cradle in a corner and cry yourself to sleep
>>
God, college sucked. Countless nights I heard my rommate or housemates fucking and just got more depressed. It eventually culminated in a suicide attempt. I'm glad college is done.
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>>45535064
you know you didn't have to stay home right
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>>45535081
yeah, I guess I could've gone to the library
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>>45535064
how many times did you jerk off to it?
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>>45534978
Implying the average /g/ user even knows what ARP is.
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>>45535129
per night?
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>>45535129
Only the first time, after that I felt dirty doing it
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>>45535157
given the amount of i3 ricers here, I'd hope at least some would :<
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>>45534929
>implying my roommate wants to do these two cows
even he has standards.

>>45534944
I have one and she's wonderful, she just goes to uni 500 or so miles from me.

>>45535036
The other roommate brings his girlfriend over late at night and she wails like she's never had an orgasm before.
>>
>>45535158
oh dear

>tfw you see the girl walking around your house the morning after braless with his shirt on and there's still the smell of pussy wafting through the place
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>>45535202
>i have a girl
>500 miles away
pick one and only one friend
>>
All of these college horror stories I hear scare me away from learning something after doing nothing for a year, and I had no problem at all talking to girls in high school.
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>>45535235
Everything changes in college. There are 1000x more Chads and life is still shitty for geeks.
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>>45535249
I know exactly how to be a Chad, but I still feel somewhat depressed.
>>
>>45535235
it's alright. I mean you might end up only talking to fellow neards and neckbeards, but at least that. If you don't manage to do that you're either reeeeeaally unlucky when it comes to your fellow students or (way more likely) just didn't look/try hard enough to find people you can at least talk to once in a while, maybe watch a movie once a month or something...
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anyone else find it cute when you see people kissing and hugging in public or hilarious when you can hear people do stuff?

or is it me being weird
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>>45535267
If it's in public I usually record it on my phone so that I can study it later and take notes.
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>>45535292
creepy/10
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>>45535227
We grew up in the same town but didn't want to break up just because of college?

Have you seriously never heard of this?
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>>45535292
oh fuck lol
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>>45535310
She's getting porked by a skinny neckbeard called Brian.
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>>45535310
Thans exactly what he was implying, you are staying faithful while she is having the time of her life.
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>>45535305
Where else would I get data about that? Movies are too fake and most pickup shows are just stupid.
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>>45535208
Imagine the conversations they've had about you; all of the things said behind your back.
>>
>>45535334
Damn is that you Chris? Travis?

No shit anon, she has a friend-of-a-friend named Brian who she say reminds her of me. Also skinny, I think also a STEM major.
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>>45535310
That's cute and all but she's young, fickle and is going to be getting dicked

I don't know a single LDR from all of the people I met first year that didn't fail, one of which had been together 9 years prior to moving to different colleges
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>>45535375
Yeah, I'm Chris. That's happening. You can start wallowing now.
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>>45535366
>implying it's the same girl each time
;_;

living with chads ,not even once
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>>45535394
What's your major, chris-who-suddenly-became-so-well-spoken?
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>>45535380
Same here. Guys that dated girls in high school were usually disgusted by them cheating in college and broke up with them.
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>>45534885

go in router settings and make it so torrents have best download speeds, slowing down families wifi
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>>45535402
You're among frieds.
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>>45535227
>>45535334
>>45535342
>>45535380
THIS
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>>45535407
I got hit in the head by a stray baseball last 4th of July and developed a strong case of amnesia. Brian and the chick who never actually told me her name ended up falling in love after helping me get back on my feet, but for the life of me I cannot remember in what i majored.
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>>45535472
>in what i majored.
Now you're just trying too hard, "Chris".
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>at coffee shop
>notice their network allows router web access over wifi
>notice it's the default user/pass
>change it so there is no password
>to this day I don't know if they've fixed it
I regret nothing
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>>45535500
Sorry, I'm Brian's buddy Ray, just messing with you. But yeah, your girl is now Brian's dick sleeve.
>>
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>>45535202
>mfw this guy was right>>45534916
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>>45535512
They probably just sent the router back and got a new one
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>long distance relationship
>gf lives on the other side of the country
>can't afford to travel there
>decide to mail myself to her via courier as a surprise
>make some air holes, prepare snacks and seal myself in ready for collection
>arrive there the next day
>she sees the parcel is from me
>struggles to open it due to excitement
>shoves a knife through the seal and straight through my skull
not even once
>>
>>45535292
Keked
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>>45535589
>>
>>45534885
cluck
cluck
cluck

You could of wingman'd your roommate and had a Esponala Orgiona, you could have put your beef stick in her enchalada my nigga
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>>45535589
lold
>>
>>45535202
>>implying my roommate wants to do these two cows
>even he has standards.
I'm confused, why the fuck did he invite them over exactly?

>I have one and she's wonderful, she just goes to uni 500 or so miles from me.
toppest kek
>>
I feel like I would have trouble with fellow weeaboos acting as satellites in my quest to find a qt japanese gf.
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>>45534885
Why wouldn't you just put on headphones instead of being a dick?
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>>45534885
Did the same to a roommate. He and his gf were using all the bandwidth to run all of his and her shit. Block all MAC's. Listened to them getting frustrated as they tried to fix it. They stayed up till 5sm till they gave up and moved out the next month. She didn't legally live there anyway.
>>
So, crying yet OP?

>inb4 "my girlfriend isn't like that, she's a special snowflake"
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>>45534885
OP that was pretty beta of you just because it's clear you're jealous your roommate was hanging out with grils and you dont get any but I still have respect for the way you went about this
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>>45535763
I did, but my 7506's only isolate so much.
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>>45535768
>crying
>having any connection to my emotions since I was 14
ha.
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>>45535933
>implying you would have a gf if that was true
nope
>>
>>45535182
>write my own ARP poisoner based on libpcap and the ARP header info from Wikipedia
>try to change the font for i3 and everything becomes boxes
I don't know.
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>>45534978
what's an ARP?
>>
>>45535661
>I'm confused, why the fuck did he invite them over exactly?
To make OP jealous and/or mad.
OP probably heard his name in the same sentence with words such as pendejo, marricón, coño etc.
>they were studying spanish
Thread replies: 64
Thread images: 6
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